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Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing S08E03
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00:00This is the Manchester Iron Open.
00:04Right, so you take me back to your old holts, are you?
00:07Oh, you said you're not interested in the past?
00:09No, I'm not really interested.
00:11But really interested.
00:14So this is Withenshaw.
00:16I like the way you said the with there.
00:18Withenshaw?
00:19This is Withenshaw.
00:21I'm sure I administered law round here somewhere.
00:25There it is!
00:27What?
00:28Talk me through it. Withenshaw Law Centre.
00:31Yeah, so people would come along and would check their benefits.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Help them with housing repairs, damp accommodation, that sort of thing.
00:38And I was half expecting at that point, Paul,
00:41that I might get a round of applause for my contribution
00:44to the social welfare of Manchester.
00:46Yeah, no, fair play. You deserve one. Here you go, look.
00:48Oh, here we go. Thank you.
00:50There you are, for your social conscience and good works, you know.
00:5330 or 40 years ago. You haven't got a social conscience now, have you?
00:56All right, there's a little barb at the end, yeah.
00:58You're always a sting in the tail.
00:59So as I remember, Paul, I think I was in that office at the right there.
01:04There was three of us, three solicitors.
01:10Oi.
01:11I was talking then, Paul.
01:13Yeah.
01:14I was telling you about the Law Centre.
01:16Yeah, you've talked till morning.
01:18Less talk, more fishing, all right?
01:20OK.
01:21So, Paul, this is urban fishing.
01:30Yeah.
01:31This is a canal.
01:32I really like it.
01:33Nice, isn't it?
01:34Fantastic.
01:35The Rochdale Canal.
01:36Right.
01:37It's very important to me, this place, where I spent many a happy year.
01:42I was working, grafting, dancing.
01:46Really, I spent a lot of time there at the end there.
01:47Did you?
01:48Shaking your booty.
01:49Oh, morning.
01:50Morning.
01:51Shaking your booty, yeah?
01:53Look.
01:54Yes, you've got new boots, Paul.
01:55Well done.
01:56Where did you get them from?
01:57They're clearly a big one.
01:58Yeah.
01:59Yeah.
02:00They're certainly not a pensioner boot.
02:01Yes, they are.
02:02They're for a-
02:03Yeah, they're for a rugged, out-of-the-out-door type.
02:04But look at these, they're so much more subtle.
02:05They suit my longer leg as well.
02:06That's fine.
02:07I'll tell you what the big difference is.
02:08is it?
02:09Oh, I can't be.
02:10I can't be.
02:11I can't be.
02:12I can't be.
02:13I can't be.
02:14But this is for a rugged, out-of-the-out-door type.
02:15This is for a young man.
02:16So, I'm not a young man.
02:18And I'm not a young man.
02:19I'm a young man.
02:20I'm a young man.
02:21I've got a young man.
02:22You're a young man.
02:23But look at these.
02:24They're so much more subtle.
02:26They suit my longer leg as well.
02:28I'll tell you what the big difference here is, Paul.
02:30Yeah?
02:31Gentleman's boot, ladies' boot.
02:33No.
02:34Ladies' boot.
02:34That really looks like a ladies' orthopedic shoe.
02:37Little wiggling boot.
02:38Mine's like, get up that mountain.
02:50So what might we catch in here?
02:52Maybe some little roach, gudgeon, bleak, perch.
02:58Basically the staple of my fishing when I was a kid.
03:00Because I used to fish canals like this when I was a kid, Bob.
03:03You caught a fish?
03:04He's got one already.
03:05Little perch, look.
03:06Check out White House.
03:07As I said.
03:08Wow!
03:10I'll tell you what, though.
03:11You knock the little perch at your peril, Bob,
03:13because they save you an angler on many a day.
03:16So first cast, Paul.
03:18Yep.
03:20What am I, little perchie?
03:22Hello, Ted.
03:23I'll tell you what, this place is a Muppet's town, isn't it?
03:26Get me back to London.
03:27It's not a real city.
03:28Hello, Teddy.
03:29You all right, Ted?
03:32Yeah, so I lived in Manchester for two, three years.
03:35I loved it here.
03:37Really loved it.
03:37What were you doing here, Bob?
03:38I don't see you as Manchester, really.
03:40I was a student doing the floor finals, and it was my one and only happy experience as
03:46a student.
03:47What was?
03:48Being in Manchester?
03:49Being in Manchester.
03:50I was a student.
03:51Where else were you a student?
03:52Were you somewhere like Leicester?
03:53I was at Leicester, and I was at the University of Sussex near Brighton.
03:58Why didn't you do the rounds at all these places, Bob?
04:02Because I didn't want to face real life, you know?
04:07So I came to Manchester.
04:08Yeah.
04:09And fell in love with the place.
04:11And it was because of one young lad at the time, called Paddy Goal, because three years
04:18at Sussex, two years at Leicester, I'd never met anyone.
04:21I couldn't meet people, Paul, and I turned up on the first day here, and a little Scouse
04:29lad, all right, I wore a Middlesbrough football top to try and say, look, I'm this type of
04:34person.
04:35You've tried that a few times.
04:36I tried it at Brighton.
04:37Didn't work.
04:38And little Paddy came up to me and said, all right, lad, I was thinking we'd start a football
04:42team.
04:44And that was the most amazing gift.
04:47Really?
04:48Oh, wow.
04:49Oh, yeah, and I had a really fabulous year here, with Paddy, Bendy, the walrus.
04:55Bendy?
04:56Yeah, Bendy Chris, the walrus, big tash, obviously, Jonah.
05:02Whoa.
05:03You're getting a lot of bites here, Bob.
05:06And Paul, this is absolutely true.
05:08This is the thing.
05:09Yeah.
05:10Two weeks ago, I got a letter from Paddy.
05:13Did you?
05:14Yeah.
05:15Just telling me what had happened to Bendy and all our mates that we were around.
05:19Don't let him to Bendy.
05:20He'd straighten out and he'd keep the mood.
05:24So, hence.
05:25Yes.
05:26That's kind of the reason we're right in the middle here.
05:28I've asked Paddy to come along, say hello.
05:30I haven't seen him for, I reckon, 30 years.
05:32You're joking.
05:3330 years.
05:34But he was so important in me life, you know.
05:41SILENCE
05:53Bob, publications, paints, knives, geez.
05:55Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
05:57Yes, I know.
05:58There he goes.
05:59You're in then without knowing it.
06:00That's angling, Paul.
06:01You're fishing, I'm angling.
06:03Oh, I like it.
06:04He saw your boots and he went and when he saw that the person who'd caught him
06:15was wearing your boots he thought oh I'm off
06:19sure line is a bit grim in it Bob I didn't even put suitable wet weather clothing on look at
06:38it should we seek shelter under the bridge I think we should don't you eminent
06:44God dear
06:47they're building aren't they they don't know why but they're building they can't stop
07:03how do they get them cranes up there I don't know Bob
07:14Paddy's on his way Bob I'm gonna go and do some jigging really yeah remember this oh
07:20you're a little sort of Debenaire yeah Debenaire you mean Debenhams there we are go with your booty
07:29you look good man okay boy chance Marie thank you old lady walking god them boots Paul
07:38buddy how you doing mate oh man how long is it since I've seen you you're taller than me now
07:57incredible incredible how are you 30 years or something it's not this century you haven't seen
08:03it's true isn't it yeah yeah it's great to see you my best student year was here in Manchester it
08:13was great we had a good time didn't we we were out nearly every night weren't we yep and er we'd used
08:19to drink five pints and then we'd er we'd go home and we'd get a Mongolian cheeseburger yeah yeah from a
08:26little place on Oxford Road I mean this was a great place was it for a young person it was chief
08:31February was chief 50p to get in the Hacienda and 50p for a pint incredible wasn't it was my best
08:37year as well because it was authentic wasn't it was a really authentic student experience yeah
08:42you're part of a great city and there was loads going on he's phone hello paddy you see you yeah
08:48nice to meet you have you caught anything no no he's got a fishing head on buddy I'll see you in a bit
08:53cheers
09:01the other big thing about the year was the footy wasn't football yeah because you're a good player
09:05weren't you I wasn't on the quiet a decent you do you do you remember me specialist tackle me
09:10Peter Beardsley yeah yeah remember your back header you scored a winner with the back header did I mean
09:17to no yeah no it was great year and we had this little group me you bendy Jonah the walrus and we
09:25had a lovely time we did it's all that matters in life in it those connections it's all that matters
09:30so when did you pack in the law god I don't know yeah I was there 29 30 right so and you're going
09:43back to it presumably one day yeah they won't be back yeah no we did talk about having our own for
09:50you know at one time did we really yeah it wouldn't last a very long would it god no no we did you just
09:55had bacon bombs and talked about 40 wouldn't we you know yeah it's been brilliant seeing you after all
10:03these years yeah thank you for popping down so the next time we'll be about a hundred what we
10:07give you a bit of a hundred yeah
10:09hello that's it yeah I'm coming one minute you're a good boy
10:26Paddy seemed like a very nice guy very calm yeah no sweet sweet God it's it's bittersweet in some
10:40ways because we we had such a lovely time me and Paddy here yeah but it also you know we're talking
10:46about seeing the Smiths at the Asienda and yeah drinking and all the things we did and you can't
10:52stop remembering we was quite young and vibrant yeah big old group of mates playing football and
10:59that and that's all good so there's a like a bit sweet in that sense yeah but you had it didn't you
11:04Bob you had it you know yeah still there on it and the thing is is I think there's a lesson to be
11:10learned because I was a shy lad I know you don't believe me and there's shy lads all over the place
11:15and so that little gift of just letting them into all right yeah oh here oh are you up to because I
11:21I think a lot of the shy ones are worth having a chat to you know some won't be yeah but you
11:28might be right there Bob actually but what a great gift to give so no it was brilliant yeah I do again
11:33happiness more or less it's just you changing me something in my liberty on my mind
11:57well Paul we've done the urban fishing yeah I think it's time that I took you to the accommodation
12:07it may be the highest accommodation I've ever put you in it might even be the most luxurious because
12:17what we're lacking in luxury here yeah I'm gonna make up oh now you're talking
12:23but I'm a lucky man with fire in my hands happiness something in my own place I'm stoody naked smiling I feel no disgrace
12:44this is a bit fresh Bob yeah you know this is gonna be good don't you yeah come on Teddy
12:50come on Ted nice nice room Bob yeah the bedroom's identical Paul whoa oh look at this
12:5815 stories well highest I've ever stayed is it a footballer style Bob yeah this actual building
13:07Paul you know it's Manchester yeah and when the players from abroad come they stay here luxury life
13:12isn't it it it is yeah oh hello Ted this is my room Teddy nice room Bob you'll like yours
13:20what's through here
13:22oh oh you beauty
13:28Paul yeah come through here a bit
13:34welcome there was a third undocumented bedroom that they're now calling Bob's bedroom oh who's they
13:46everyone from the mayor downwards hey Paul there's more come through here have a look at this have a look at
13:56this oh you look Paul it's got a sink for your left hand sink for your right hand right bath overlooked by many other high dwellers oh yeah see yeah
14:10do you like it do you wish it was yours I'm not going to give you the benefit of envy Bob on my part you're not getting it all right yeah you do it with your boots though don't you
14:20are we gonna get takeaway get something delivered
14:28yeah what do you fancy Paul Mexican
14:32hmm Thai I like Thai well you're not having it because I'm getting fish and chips oh are we
14:38fish and chips yeah well I'm fishing chips oh okay oh I'll tell you what you're having you're having gravy you
14:44know it's a new thing graze now is to have a gravy gravy's not new Bob it's not a new no but it's have
14:49it with your fish all right I'll try it it says it will be that ain't bad go on 20
14:56minutes that's all right that's tolerable that is because I've got a 20 minute hole there okay
15:02yeah I'll come and join you have you ever lived up north no I haven't actually furthest north you've
15:14been somewhere like Harrow or something like that no I've been to John O'Groats how limited you you are
15:19I've been to many places yeah but yeah perhaps I'm not as adventurous as some men now they all go off
15:25backtracking then they ran a world they're amazing aren't they do you remember what in our time there was
15:29the the when that rail car came in yeah and that was wow yeah Europe yeah yeah I went on a my first
15:35flight was propellers so oh you hit me I went to Italy propellers Italy in the propellers yeah did
15:47you have pizza while you were there nobody a massive tomato that lasted for six days but like that we all
15:54just sliced a bit oh yeah yeah but on your shoulder and off you went yeah around Florence
15:59oh there he is what is that fish chips yeah hi there thank you very much there you go thank you very
16:12much northerners are very protective of the fish and chips we reckon our fish and chips are great I know
16:18you're ready for your gravy I'm not sure I am yeah let me try that hmm yeah it's all right gravy and chip Ted look
16:33yeah what do you think I am get out of it coming in there we go night of football thank you fantastic
16:48morning Paul ah morning Bob thank you reprising your role as um t-boy that's a lot of fun your first
17:07job yeah yeah I wasn't a t-boy yes you were nice looking city in it beautiful what a lovely morning
17:12yeah um so we were fishing today then the River Dane the smallest river about 40 minutes away it's
17:21going to be your classics your roach grayling I mean it's a it's a freshwater river pole they say
17:28it's got fresh from a fish in it well should we go and catch them then yep yep
17:4245 minutes out of Manchester and here we are in this uh little rural haven eh yeah so this River
17:57Dane that I've chosen yes do you know anything of it I know it looks beautiful I don't know anything
18:02about it really Bob but I've seen some pictures and it does look very pretty doesn't it what are
18:07you gonna go for I'll go for a grayling I'll trot I'm just gonna trot and see what it see what you
18:12get yeah nice so here we are Paul yeah the River Dane it looks great doesn't it yeah fantastic little
18:28river well done thank you it's pretty isn't it yeah big grim weather will there be any fish in here
18:35yeah of course they will Ted get off the bait Ted get off Ted what's he like he's had a banana
18:43already yeah will you pick a spot oh come on Teddy come on Ted I'm hoping we get a little bit of
18:54some peeps through every now and then but that's all we need oh we need a little peep
19:05the river's rising but the rain's easing off so it's something at least oh oh I think something's just hit
19:22the line I genuinely do no fair enough but you know what I mean yeah let's see a bit further out the back
19:30go on swing it up I'll get rid of all that for you Robert there's your valet what's your silly
19:39fingers do you mean thank you no I mean what's your silly fingers things I put up with from you Bob
19:48right here we go pass part two okay that's good right lock it in lock it down oh what no I think
20:07that's just it's it has drifted around still you can keep your hand on the rod why so the rod doesn't
20:13fall off and the wind doesn't blow it off and you ruin your presentation have you ever been in a
20:20room with an elephant so you could actually say hey there's an elephant in the room I mean you'd be
20:26the first thing you'd say yeah have you know I saw a giraffe in the wild once there's no relevance
20:34between those two statements well they're both big animals aren't they yeah but one was outside where
20:39you'd expect it to be like an elephant big fish under right under that tree over there giraffe in
20:44the room you haven't seen a giraffe in a room have you no I'll tell you what I saw in the wild a
20:49giraffe and only a hundred yards from it was a rhinoceros okay rhinoceroses of big things you know
20:57really I was really I was imagine they were sort of really small no I've seen a really big oh yeah
21:07that's all you know yeah
21:10can I say something Bob I think if there was any hope of us catching a fish and there was some chub in
21:27there I would have taken that meat by now will you have a nickname Keith Downey of the disappointment
21:36honestly you're so odious odious Maximus not Pompeii remember that yeah I sat behind Frankie Howard once
21:46and he was leaning forward yeah and honestly you could have fitted a little mouse under his wig it all
21:50stuck really it all went hmm well not a mouse you could probably got a licorice also yes no yes
21:59who's that in the back there is that a mouse oh please yourselves
22:04right let's try a different spot Bob come on
22:17the weather's on the turn again but ain't gonna stop us
22:24hey Ted you're my angling hero Paul no you are can you imagine you're somebody's hero yeah it's nice to
22:44be your hero Bob you're my comedy hero oh that's nice
22:49yep I'm in something good get the net Bob it's right there wind yours in because this is quite a
23:07nice fish it's not massive but it's a grayling you've got a net get a net you're killing me no look
23:15that's why you're my hero Paul do you understand get the net and get the net and get the net wallop
23:24yes a granny wow Bob what a treat to get a granny honey wow he's fresh a beautiful grayling what a
23:35beautiful surprise that was amazing I mean I know we said we might but oh you can see the lilac off you go
23:42and away well there she goes oh yeah okay get out of it how about that nice aye oh my god
24:01should we go go in the car have a cup of tea or something to see if this passes yeah this is crazy
24:07isn't it
24:11you
24:13you
24:15line me Bob I'm glad to be out of that it's getting worse yeah I didn't think it could get
24:20any worse I don't think we're gonna be catching much else after this that rivers gonna go it was
24:25cool yes I know it's like December or something in it nice cup of tea oh it's nice and hot I can feel it
24:36oh that is hot isn't it all right Teddy it's okay mate he's got a cold hasn't he oh yeah hasn't he
24:41it's funny when Ted's in the car and he's wet hmm it takes on the smell of a yeast factory oh he's in
24:46my lap that he's on not yours mate I quite enjoyed this boy it's okay yeah wait till it passes it's a
24:55little haven
24:55even
25:04someone really famous I was sting it's always sting the other day he was on the tally yeah when he
25:14said oh it's great to be back in England and you know what said when the Sun is shining there is no
25:21nowhere more beautiful in the whole world do you know what I saw that concert and he went when you
25:28are coming back to England and the Sun is shining it's the best place ever to be perfect in world
25:35right rocks on hey stopping now Bob's fine the Sun over this way
25:51I bought some new taps in the day to celebrate a new day national tap though Bob yes what yeah
26:12anyway yeah your new taps yeah bath taps for national tap day yeah and they're so bright really that I have
26:20to wear SP 50 wow they're that bright when I'm in the bath so that bright I got it wrong and I bought
26:25some tap shoes I've got international tap day well I know it's yeah people do what color are your taps
26:32like the Sun it's as bright as silver it's like beyond chrome is that what it's called it's that's a great
26:40color in it beyond chrome oh that is my beautiful in hey Paul in it lovely to finish this trip in the
27:02sunshine it's glorious and it can't you can't comprehend it it was this is the same day as
27:07earlier yeah amazing this is it this is when it makes sense in it yeah this is when two old codgers
27:14with their fragile bones yeah yeah minds could actually have a nice little time yeah I enjoyed
27:21staying in that luxury accommodation Paul and living the high life like a football the footballers we
27:26weren't yeah for a few days I'll tell you what though Bob we've got so much more than footballers
27:33haven't we you reckon we got this and I've got you yeah we got each other imagine that yeah fish on Bob
27:44fish on I mean not fish on but let us fish on
28:14sing your own special song make your own kind of music even if nobody else sings along
28:26you're gonna be nowhere
28:33the loneliest kind of lonely it may be rough going just to do your thing
28:42the hardest thing the hardest thing to do
28:47but you're gonna make your own kind of music sing your own special song make your own special song
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