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Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing Season 8 Episode 100 Christmas Special 2025
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00:00So, Paul, we're on a steam train.
00:04What does that mean?
00:06I think it means it's Christmas.
00:08It's the Christmas show, yeah.
00:10Yeah.
00:11But it's not very Christmassy out there, Bob.
00:12Yeah, well, it isn't, but it's the Christmas show.
00:15Right.
00:18Do you know where we're heading?
00:20Um...
00:21I'll tell you where we're heading.
00:22We're heading to the centre of Christmas this year.
00:25Oh, right, and who decides where it's centred?
00:28Me, of course.
00:30Silly of you.
00:31Of course, it's you, isn't it?
00:32Do you know where it might be?
00:34Give us a clue.
00:35Ted's got a little hint.
00:36Oh, right, OK.
00:40It's a Cornish pasty.
00:41We're going to Cornwall.
00:43Wow, nice.
00:47We're going to actually, on our way to Cornwall,
00:49we'll fish on a beautiful river called the River Lid in Devon.
00:53Then we'll be fishing in Cornwall.
00:54Really?
00:54Yeah.
00:55We've got the award ceremony, special Christmas dinner,
00:58some beautiful accommodation.
01:01Right.
01:01For our Cornish Christmas adventure.
01:04Oh, lovely.
01:06This carriage is called a Pullman carriage, fancy.
01:09It was the personal carriage of Winston Churchill.
01:12And it was in this carriage
01:13that he had a meeting with General Eisenhower
01:16to discuss the D-Day landings.
01:18We might be in their seats.
01:19We might be in their seats.
01:21Harvey Churchill, because facing forward.
01:22I've got to, am I, you silly egg?
01:24Did you call me a silly egg?
01:25No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:27Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
01:57Good boy.
01:58I said, what a cock of devil.
02:00You told me we was going to Cornwall.
02:02We're on our way to Cornwall, Ted.
02:04Drag me down some muggy old river.
02:06What's the matter with you, Long River?
02:08Any other one?
02:09I forgot his name, to be honest.
02:12So this is it, Paul?
02:14Yeah.
02:15The River Laird.
02:16Yeah, beautiful, isn't it, Bob?
02:18I'll start down there.
02:19You get in there, yeah?
02:21Righty-o.
02:22What are we fishing for, though?
02:23Well, trout and sea trout as well.
02:26Look, we've got one of those views, Paul, through there.
02:28Oh, we have.
02:29It's a portal, isn't it?
02:30It's a portal to the magic kingdom.
02:32Who knows what?
02:33Yeah.
02:34Right.
02:35Let's do it.
02:36Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
02:37I would if I was offered it.
02:38Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
02:39I would if I was offered it.
02:40You know in Cornwall?
02:41Yeah.
02:42Yeah.
02:43They like to have a bit of fish.
02:44Really?
02:45What are they, French?
02:46Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing.
02:47Oh, yeah, nice.
02:48Oh, yeah.
02:49Nice.
02:50Oh, yeah.
02:51Nice.
02:52Tom, really.
02:54Be it.
02:55Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
03:01Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
03:05I would, if I was offered it.
03:07You know in Cornwall.
03:09Yeah.
03:10They like to have a bit of fish.
03:11Really?
03:12What are they?
03:13French?
03:14Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing.
03:15Oh, yeah, nice.
03:15It's nice.
03:25Are you caught again?
03:27Oh, thank God.
03:29You get it?
03:30Yeah.
03:34Would you describe me as fat?
03:36No.
03:38I'm overweight, but you say there's a fat bloke over there.
03:42Well, not really, Bob. You've got a sort of big round head, haven't you?
03:47But you're not fat, no.
03:49Oh, he's in.
03:51Oh.
03:52Oh.
03:53Oh.
03:54Oh, Bob, you all right, mate?
04:00I'm absolutely fine, but I'm wet.
04:03It was a bit cold as well, wasn't it?
04:05Fat and wet.
04:07Lucky you had that layer of blubber there for buoyancy.
04:11Bloody hell, Bob, you all right?
04:13Yeah, no, I'm fine.
04:15Go on, go and suck yourself out.
04:22Did you hurt yourself, Guy, any?
04:24I took a bit of a bang on the...
04:26On the rump.
04:28On the rump?
04:29On the rump.
04:30I've got one rump and one butter.
04:32Have you?
04:33Unusual, isn't it?
04:34It is very unusual.
04:35Oh, man.
04:36I'll tell you what with Christmas this year, Bob.
04:41Here's a little thing for you.
04:42Oh, yeah, go on.
04:43I don't think my Christmases will ever be the same.
04:46Yeah.
04:48Last Christmas, on Christmas Day, Grandad, me father-in-law,
04:53was in hospital.
04:54Yeah.
04:55And so on Christmas Day, me and my son took him his present.
04:58It was a nice little steam train calendar.
05:00Oh, yeah.
05:01But when we got there, he was fast asleep.
05:03Ah, right.
05:04And he couldn't be roused, so we just said happy Christmas to him.
05:07And took the present back?
05:08No, we gave him the present for when he woke up and that.
05:11Yeah.
05:12And then when we got home, there was a phone call from the ward,
05:17and he died by the time we got home.
05:23We sort of thought to ourselves, me and Tom, my son,
05:25that maybe, just maybe, he heard us say happy Christmas.
05:30Yeah.
05:31And then say goodbye.
05:32Yeah.
05:33And he thought, all right, I'll turn off now then.
05:34That was nice.
05:35Well, it's possible, isn't it?
05:36It's possible.
05:37Mm.
05:38You know, maybe.
05:39On Christmas Day.
05:40On Christmas Day.
05:41He liked steam engines and he liked beer.
05:47There's plenty of them about, isn't there?
05:49That's a man, isn't it?
05:50Yeah.
05:51Rod Stewart, he likes steam engines and beer, doesn't he?
05:53Yeah.
05:54Apparently.
05:55It's a type, isn't it?
05:56It is a type.
06:11That's too close in, I think.
06:26I'm in, Bob.
06:27You're in?
06:28You're in?
06:29Yep.
06:30What were you thinking?
06:31Little trout?
06:32No.
06:33It's not so little, and I don't know what it is yet.
06:35Well done, man.
06:37First Christmas catch.
06:38It seems a grayling.
06:41Yes!
06:42It's a...
06:43It's a good grayling.
06:44I think it's a grayling, yeah.
06:45It is a grayling.
06:46It's a nice one, isn't it?
06:47Oh, Bob.
06:48Look at him.
06:49Come on.
06:50Get him.
06:51Yes!
06:52Oh, Paul, it's a whopper.
06:53That is the biggest one we've ever caught.
06:55It is, isn't it?
06:56Look at that.
06:57See this fin?
06:58God.
06:59Hee hee hee.
07:00That's so beautiful, isn't it?
07:01Right.
07:02Let's get him back.
07:03Beautiful creature.
07:04Beautiful creature.
07:06There you go.
07:08And away.
07:10Well done, Paul.
07:11God, it's cold that water, isn't it?
07:13Lovely.
07:14Are we having a cup of tea, darling?
07:15Yes, I'd love a cup of tea.
07:16I've got some special treats.
07:18Come on then.
07:19Christmas treats for you.
07:20Oh, nice.
07:21So this is me Christmas spread.
07:28Wow, look at that.
07:30Yule log.
07:31Gingerbread man.
07:32That one's me.
07:33That one's you.
07:34OK.
07:35Obviously.
07:36Yeah.
07:37Look what I've got here, Paul.
07:39Ooh.
07:40Mince pies heating by the camping stove.
07:42Ooh.
07:43Come on, Teddy.
07:45Come on, Teddy.
07:46It's nothing to do with you, Ted.
07:48It's nothing to do with you, Ted.
07:49Yeah, but it is.
07:50Yeah, but it is.
07:51Yeah, but it is.
07:52No, it's nothing to do with you.
07:53It's nothing to do with you, Fred.
07:54Yeah, but it is.
07:55Yeah, but it is.
07:57Nicely judged.
07:58Mr. Mince pie, as they call you.
08:00It's really heated for a while, isn't it?
08:03There you go, Teddy.
08:04I have got some cream.
08:06Stop.
08:07Whoa.
08:08Ted, do you want a bit of squirty cream?
08:09I wonder if he squirted it into his mouth,
08:11he'd just keep going.
08:12And he'd grow out.
08:13Yeah.
08:14And then...
08:17Exactly.
08:26I'll have a go, yeah.
08:27You've got a fish with a nymph, right?
08:28Where there's one grayling...
08:29There's more.
08:30There's more.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Just mind those berries, right?
08:34Whoa, that's beautiful, you lucky sod.
08:37Right, keep that line off the water.
08:39Track it down.
08:42Give that little line a mend.
08:44That's it, like that.
08:45That's good.
08:49Another calf.
08:50Oh, boom, boom.
08:51Oh, nice.
08:52That's good fish, Bob.
08:54It's a good fish.
08:55I know it's a good fish.
08:56I can see it is.
08:57I think he might have a seat right there or a big grayling.
09:00It's a good fish.
09:01Go on, then.
09:02Try and get it on the reel.
09:03But mainly keep contact.
09:04Okay.
09:05Okay.
09:06So now don't wind.
09:07That's a good fish, Bob.
09:08I'm on the reel!
09:13Right, you can wind a little bit.
09:15Go on.
09:16Have you got the net?
09:17Yeah.
09:20I haven't even seen it yet, Bob, have you?
09:22No.
09:23It's too big to see.
09:24It's a massive trout.
09:25All right.
09:26Come on.
09:27Oh, please, don't go.
09:28Come on.
09:29Come on, come on.
09:30We've got to get this fish.
09:31Come on.
09:32Come on.
09:33Yes!
09:34Boom!
09:35Boom!
09:36Look at the size of him.
09:37Wow.
09:38That's a lovely sea trout, Bob.
09:39Look at it.
09:40You can.
09:41I think we're talking records here, Paul.
09:42I'm going to get on to the mare.
09:43Oh, we'll get him back.
09:44Yeah.
09:45What a magnificent fish.
09:46Wow.
09:47Well done, Bob.
09:48Hold him till he's ready.
09:49I think he'll be gone soon, but...
09:50And away!
09:51Not going to get better than that, Paul.
09:52No, it ain't, Bob.
09:53Let's go to the accommodation.
09:54Okay.
09:55Our first customer.
09:56Thank you for that, sir.
09:57Oh, well done, mate.
09:58I don't know if I can move, really, but...
09:59Oh, there's a big lump here.
10:00And I don't mean me.
10:01Hey!
10:02Right.
10:03Oh, that sea trout, Paul.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Yeah.
10:06That's going to get better than that, Paul.
10:07Wow.
10:08Well done, Bob.
10:09Hold him till he's ready.
10:10I think he'll be gone soon, but...
10:11And away!
10:12Not going to get better than that, Paul.
10:13No, it ain't, Bob.
10:14Let's go to the accommodation.
10:15Okay.
10:16Our first Christmas accommodation.
10:17Thank you for that, sir.
10:18Oh, well done, mate.
10:19I don't know if I can move, really, but...
10:20Oh, there's a big lump here.
10:21Oh, that sea trout, Paul.
10:25Yeah.
10:26That's going to haunt you for years.
10:27He tugged you, didn't he, eh?
10:29Lying.
10:30You're never going to let it lie, are you?
10:32Never.
10:33No.
10:41I thought, for Christmas, I'd bring you somewhere so special,
10:46it would rip your heart out of your body,
10:49cleanse it and return it fully functioning.
10:51Let's hope so.
10:52It needs a bit of an upgrade, Bob, really.
10:54Because this place is gorgeous.
10:56Whoa!
10:57Is that the sea?
10:58And...
10:59Wow.
11:00...to your right here, Camel Quarry House.
11:03Oh!
11:04Look at that.
11:06Well, thank you, Bob.
11:07Our best yet.
11:08It's a beauty!
11:09Could be.
11:10Cornish beauty, come on.
11:15Whoa!
11:16Tally tick.
11:19Come on.
11:20See the bedrooms.
11:21Go on then.
11:22Up you go, you sprightly old fella.
11:24Oh, yeah.
11:25I'm going to take a chance on a left.
11:28On the old.
11:29Oh, this one is very me, Paul.
11:31I've chosen, but I'll join you on your quest.
11:33Come on.
11:35Yes.
11:37Oh, I've made a terrible mistake, Paul.
11:39You have, Bob.
11:40Feel free to enjoy the view for about eight seconds.
11:44Eight seconds is not enough.
11:49Come on, Bob.
11:50You've seen enough.
11:51You've got the best room.
11:52Come on.
11:53Out.
11:54Upstairs.
11:55Ooh.
11:56Whoa!
11:57Whoa!
11:59Boom?
12:00Yeah.
12:01Boom, banger, bang, boom.
12:02Isn't that something?
12:04Wow.
12:05I feel like we've arrived.
12:07Because that is Cornwall.
12:09That's the Camel Estuary, Paul.
12:10Yeah.
12:11And it's most beautiful.
12:12Rit large, isn't it?
12:15Got a special guest coming soon.
12:16Any minute now, in fact.
12:18So behave yourself.
12:19Can you get rid of your Windy Pops now?
12:35Do you like the look of this, Paul?
12:36Char-coot-tree is what they call it.
12:39Char-coot-tree.
12:40Char-coot-tree.
12:41Oh, I get it.
12:42Char-coot-tree.
12:43That's Ted's dog biscuits and a bit of cheese.
12:44Oh, right.
12:45Did he do that?
12:46Absolutely, yeah.
12:47The Lord is my shepherd.
12:48I shall not want.
12:49He wicketh me to lie down.
12:50Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
12:51Who can it be?
12:52Ching, ching, ching, ching.
12:53It's Christmas.
12:54Oh, thank you for coming.
12:55It's a bloody holder.
12:56Hello.
12:57Hello, love.
12:58Hi, there.
12:59How are you?
13:00Yeah, I'm all right, darling.
13:01Can you come on that side, actually, at the same time?
13:02What do you want?
13:03I just want to be in a sort of sandwich.
13:04Oh, that's lovely.
13:05A couple of chunks, you are.
13:07Hunky chunks.
13:08What have you brought with?
13:09Do you want to see what this is?
13:10Go on, then.
13:11My husband has made you this.
13:12It's a cake.
13:13Yes.
13:14It's a fruit, it's sultana and cherries.
13:16Lovely.
13:17With icing on the top.
13:18Yeah.
13:19Because...
13:20It's a cake.
13:21It's a cake.
13:22It's a fruit, it's sultana and cherries.
13:23Lovely.
13:24With icing on the top.
13:25Because...
13:26It's a cake.
13:27It's a fruit, it's sultana and cherries.
13:29Lovely.
13:30With icing on the top.
13:31Yeah.
13:32Because...
13:33Well, he knows about you, too.
13:34Oh, that's nice.
13:35I mean, he likes you, but I like you more.
13:37Right.
13:38He knows that both of you are on my I'm allowed to list.
13:42No!
13:43You are kidding.
13:44Let's get to it!
13:45Come on!
13:46But it is only if he's conked.
13:48Oh, right, OK.
13:49And if you were both single, which you're not.
13:51Yeah.
13:52Yeah, so it's not going to happen, obviously.
13:54No, it's not, is it?
13:55No.
13:56So we've got a cake in lieu, have we?
13:57Yeah, you have.
13:58Okay, fair play.
13:59I'll bring this over.
14:00Right, come on.
14:01You coming, Ted?
14:06So this is Cornwall, this is your parish, isn't it?
14:09Yeah, well, it's a tricky one for me, this, because half of my family are from Devon.
14:14Boo!
14:15Oh!
14:16And half are from Cornwall, so...
14:17Boo!
14:18Oh, no, sorry.
14:19Hooray!
14:20Hooray!
14:21So I'm sort of dual heritage.
14:22It's a bit War of the Roses, kind of.
14:25You're quite synonymous with Christmas.
14:28Well, I suppose so.
14:29I suppose so.
14:30The free Christmas dinners.
14:31Yeah?
14:32Yeah.
14:33Did you actually really eat free Christmas dinners?
14:34You know how they make telly.
14:35I ate one Brussels sprout.
14:36Oh, you did?
14:37You're joking, mate.
14:38In that whole thing.
14:39Oh, you've broken his heart.
14:41Well, I will.
14:43Don, will you ever do another Dibley, do you think?
14:46No?
14:47There's only one person left, but...
14:49Mmm.
14:50There's only James left out of the whole cast.
14:52Wow.
14:53Imagine that.
14:54That's what happens when you start a sitcom with older people.
14:56Yeah.
14:57Bob gone fishing on his own.
14:58Yeah.
14:59Laughing at my demise.
15:00Not necessarily on your own, Bob.
15:02I'm here.
15:03I'm not great at Christmas, you know.
15:06It's not that I don't like it.
15:07I think, as I've got older and I've lost people in my family,
15:11I find Christmas, when you're supposed to be jolly, too much.
15:15Yeah.
15:16So I get a bit melancholy just before Christmas,
15:18but then I...
15:20Every single Christmas, there is a proper Christmas miracle.
15:23And it might just be that I, you know,
15:26get myself out of a grump because it's not fair on everybody else,
15:29but I actually do cheer up by Christmas Day.
15:31By Christmas Day.
15:32Oh, that's close.
15:33But the week before, I have a bit of a slump.
15:35I think the weird thing for me is that Christmas takes you back to childhood
15:38and until I miss my mum and dad at Christmas.
15:41Yeah.
15:45Can I offer you anything from the shampoo tray?
15:47If you can, I'll have a bit of salami.
15:49Do you know what? I'll move it over, Dawn, then you're not...
15:52Ted? Ted?
15:53Here, look.
15:54Look what I've got.
15:55Ted?
15:56Try this, Ted, look.
15:58There we go.
16:00Oh, the enderbite's working hard on that!
16:02HE LAUGHS
16:10Cornwall, the most beautiful county, Dawn.
16:12Oh, yes.
16:13No question.
16:14And can I just say, jam first, always, no exceptions.
16:19Just leave it at that.
16:20Well, I do agree.
16:21I don't think you can consider cream or butter.
16:23Correct, Bob. You can.
16:25It's Bob.
16:26I'm not getting drawn in on this.
16:27Cream is the crown.
16:29Do you fancy staying for a game of mousetrap, Dawn?
16:32Um, no.
16:33Come on, Dawn, it's going to be great.
16:35No.
16:36Do you fancy coming in a hot tub with us?
16:38Um, I'd rather put my eyes out, if that's all right with you.
16:42Fair enough.
16:44I sense where you're coming from.
16:46I mean that nicely.
16:47No, I'm not.
16:48I said, don't ask, Bob, didn't I?
16:49HE LAUGHS
16:50And you were right.
16:51Yeah.
16:52You were right.
17:09Did you have a nice sleep?
17:10Not bad, yeah.
17:11We've got to get going.
17:12I know, we haven't got fish.
17:13Oh, I forgot, Paul.
17:14What I should say is, I didn't forget.
17:17But I've got the last three windows of my advent calendar to open.
17:20Oh.
17:21Do you want to do one?
17:22You do today, I'll do tomorrow.
17:23That's nice, isn't it, Bob? I like that.
17:25It's a good one, isn't it?
17:26Yeah.
17:27Good things, isn't it?
17:28Great things.
17:29Mainly chocolates.
17:30Right.
17:31But little bits of fun jewellery.
17:32Oh, trinkets.
17:33Trinkets.
17:34OK.
17:36What do you get?
17:38A little bit of breadstick.
17:40Oh, that's a bit unlucky, isn't it?
17:42This is a trick, isn't it?
17:43No, it's not.
17:44You've enjoyed it, haven't you, little breadstick, boy?
17:46I do like breadstick, yeah.
17:48We've got to get going.
17:49That is the estuary of the river we're fishing today, the river Camel.
17:53Yeah, we're fishing upstream.
17:54Mm.
17:55I'll be able to go all day after this breadstick, won't I?
17:58The breadstick, yeah.
17:59Don't worry, I've got some stuff to take.
18:01Howie, lad.
18:03It was a treat seeing Dawn last night, wasn't it?
18:04It was lovely.
18:05She's a very positive presence, isn't she?
18:06Yes.
18:07Yeah, she is, yeah.
18:08Big, big day, though, Paul, isn't it?
18:09The awards ceremony.
18:10Oh.
18:11Big, big day.
18:12Who's hosting this year?
18:13Do you know?
18:14I think I'll host it this year.
18:15Oh, what a surprise.
18:16It means we couldn't get anyone, did it?
18:17Here we are.
18:18Lovely, isn't it?
18:19This is the Camel Valley, Bob, the river Camel.
18:21Right.
18:22In Tresaraps, we are.
18:23And on the menu today.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Trap.
18:26Trap.
18:27Seatrap.
18:28Seatrap.
18:29Yeah.
18:30Seatrap.
18:31Seatrap.
18:32Yeah.
18:33Seatrap as well.
18:34Yeah, possibly salmon.
18:35Lovely.
18:36It's coming on Christmas They're cutting down trees They're putting up reindeer
18:40Right. In Trisarap we are.
18:42And on the menu today? Yeah.
18:45Trout. Trout. Seatrout.
18:47Yeah. Seatrout as well?
18:49Yeah, possibly salmon.
18:50Lovely.
18:58It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees
19:03They're putting up rain, they're singing songs of joy and peace
19:09I wish I had a river I could skate away on
19:16But it don't snow here, it just stays pretty green
19:23I'm gonna make a lot of money then I'm gonna get this crazy scene
19:29I wish I had a river I could skate away on
19:39I wish I had a river so long
19:42Oh, I've missed him
19:43Oh, man
19:44Teach my feet to fly
19:48Yes
19:53Hey, well done, Bob
19:57Little brownie
19:58Very nice
20:00And away
20:04Hey
20:05Oh, it was an incredible bit of fishing, Paul
20:07Yeah, I'm sure it was, Bob
20:09If you did it, I'm sure it was superlative
20:11Good stuff
20:14I would say, Paul, that was maybe my most enjoyable bit of fishing I've ever done
20:31Really?
20:32It was fantastic, yeah
20:33Oh, brilliant
20:34I don't know, just somewhat about the flow of the river and the light
20:38The light is incredible here, isn't it?
20:40Yeah
20:41Yeah
20:42You look so sexy in those glasses, Paul
20:46Honestly, you look nothing like Ant-Man or some sort of insect
20:50Shut up
20:51I do look like a wasp or something, don't I?
20:53Yeah, you're a very waspy character, actually
20:55Oh, blimey, Ted, what are we gonna do with him?
20:59Ted isn't in greatness
21:00No, all right, Bob
21:02He's in here shortly
21:04Mind you, he's quite deaf now
21:05Yeah
21:06But he doesn't look very well, does he?
21:08But he does seem happy
21:10He does, actually, doesn't he?
21:11He does seem happy
21:12Well, I'd say content
21:13Content?
21:18When my son went to see Grandad in hospital afterwards, he said to me he was glad he had
21:24Because he said, I've got to get used to loss, you know
21:28Oh, well
21:29Wow
21:30When he was a really young boy, I
21:32Yeah
21:33Suddenly, one day I walked up the stairs and there was a window there
21:36Hmm
21:37And he'd put, he'd put, stuck little letters up saying, Tina, see you, see you in the future
21:42And it was our little cat Tina had died
21:44Oh, wow
21:45And I know he was really affected by it
21:47Right
21:48And it's tough when you, it's tough when a pet dies, it's really tough
21:52Hmm
21:53Because as your friendships come and go, you know, or you've got to, you've failed to maintain them
21:58Yeah
21:59You know, but your friendship with your pet is so pure, do you know what I mean?
22:02Oh, no, that's a very valid point, it's the devotion that they show you don't get from any other living creature, really, do you?
22:11It's heartbreaking
22:12Hmm
22:13Yeah
22:14Yeah
22:15It is brilliant to have a friend like you, you know, Paul
22:20Don't have a go at me for saying it, it's amazing
22:23Ant man, wasp face, wizened little walnut
22:27Yeah, but
22:28Yeah
22:29That's because you like me, that you allow me to do it
22:33I can take it, Bob, really, I really can take it, don't worry
22:36Imagine a world without friendship, because a lot of people live in that world, Paul
22:40Well, yeah, that's true, Bobby
22:41I'm just hanging on to it with you
22:43You are, fingernails, innit? But, well, thanks for that, Bob, and I feel the same, you know that, don't you?
22:48You do know that, don't you, Bob?
22:50I don't, we only come out to see each other, I know, really
22:53Yeah
23:06Hey, Teddy
23:11Dr Anand's coming today
23:13Oh, right, he's here, is he?
23:14Yeah
23:15Oh, okay
23:16Don't you tell Anand I've been having salami
23:19Oh, he won't like that, will he?
23:21Well, I've just had a chocolate biscuit, that's probably not much good either
23:24You're going to mention it, aren't you?
23:26No, I'm not, we'll see, we'll see how it all plays out, Bob
23:29I know what you're like, so
23:30You think the first thing I'm going to say to Anand is, Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit
23:34Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit, Anand
23:35Then it's not
23:36The first thing I'll say is, you know what Paul's done?
23:41He's only gone and had a chocolate biscuit, hasn't he?
23:45Anandos and I should say, oh that's fine
23:47Anandos?
23:52Chicken and pres...
23:53I really haven't had Anandos, Anand
23:56Chickens and prescriptions
24:03Anand!
24:04There he is
24:05He's following Ted in
24:06Look, Ted's leading the way
24:07Oh, easy
24:08I know, easy
24:09I've got trainers on
24:10Well done fishing, Doctor
24:11How lovely to see you
24:12Lovely to be seen
24:13I don't want to trip over Ted, I don't want to trip over Ted
24:19You look like one of the prettiest gnomes I've ever seen, don't you think?
24:22Look
24:23Thanks
24:24A wood nymph
24:25I'll take that in whatever spirit you're meant to
24:27All day long
24:28Yeah, yeah, fine
24:29So Anand, the first thing I wanted to ask genuinely is
24:32Sure
24:33Is just earlier today, Paul had two chocolate biscuits and some cake
24:40Right, first of all it was one chocolate biscuit
24:43Was it?
24:44Sure
24:45And I just had a little cherry out of the cake, that's all I nibbled, right?
24:48He had cake and salami
24:51I'm not here to police you
24:53Well, we wish you would
24:55People don't like being nagged
24:57Yeah
24:58So what I'm here to do is I'm here to steer you hopefully in a direction
25:00And if you want to take my advice, take my advice
25:02If you don't worry, that's absolutely fine
25:04But equally, you know, we've all got to make our choices and deal with the consequences
25:07It is a bit of compromise, isn't it?
25:09I was always told if 80% of your diet is good, you're allowed 20% to do, you know, indulge yourself with salami
25:15See, I tell myself 70-30, so I give myself a little bit
25:17Give myself a little bit more leeway
25:19I'm coming over to your way
25:20Just some general things that have interested me recently, Alain, was
25:24A lot of people around me are taking vitamin supplements
25:27Yes
25:28All sorts of supplements
25:29Somehow I don't believe that that pill or liquid is the same as a leaf of spinach
25:34I don't think it is, I don't think it is, Bob
25:36So you're absolutely right, supplements are brilliant if you've got a deficient diet
25:41The supplements you need need to be tailored to your age range
25:44And they need to be tailored to whatever disease is going on
25:47Or your diet, for example
25:48If you're vegetarian or vegan, you might lack protein
25:51You might lack calcium if you don't eat dairy
25:54So it's kind of like, well, what do we need?
25:56And if you're a 70-kilo, 65-year-old
25:58You need to be taking 70 to 80 grams of protein per day
26:01You should be getting some of that if you eat meat from meat
26:04A bit of oily fish, lentils, pulses, eggs, cheese
26:08You know, all those sources are good sources of protein
26:11And why particularly for older people?
26:13So as you get older, your ability to hold on to muscle gets less
26:16So you get something what's called sarcopenia
26:18Where literally your muscles start to dissolve away as you get older
26:21And having poorer muscle strength, which we're going to test in a bit
26:24Is linked to living longer
26:27So actually if your muscle strength is poorer
26:29You actually become frail
26:30And frailty is basically a condition where any small change to your health
26:33Could knock you over into losing independent living
26:36And that could be like, you know, you can't live in your own home anymore
26:39You can't do stairs
26:40So I've got a little testing thing here
26:42We're just going to use your grip strength
26:44And they did a study of 150,000 people
26:46And they found that your grip strength is a better marker
26:49Of your long-term health than your blood pressure
26:52So that's why I brought it today just to see
26:54Because it's such an easy thing to do
26:56You can get these online so easily
26:57I'm excited
26:58Do you want to have a go?
26:59Yeah
27:00Marvellous
27:01The idea is that you hold it like that at right angles
27:04And what you're doing is squeezing as hard as you can when I say now
27:08Ready? And on three
27:10One, two, three, go
27:12Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
27:15Good man
27:1628.2
27:18That's the bad one
27:20Obviously this is not necessarily the perfect test if you've got hand arthritis
27:23Yeah, yeah
27:24But 28.2
27:25What that means is that you have a level of sort of hand strength and fitness
27:29That is above the minimum level, which is really important
27:31The minimum level for men is kind of about 25 kilograms
27:35And it's 18 for women
27:37Right
27:38If yours is below that, you're actually really at high risk of having low muscle mass
27:41You're more likely to fall over, more likely to break your hip
27:44More likely to lose your mobility and more likely to end up in a home
27:47So it's really important
27:48I'm worried now
27:49You're gonna smash me to pieces on this
27:51Let's try your leg now
27:52Right, so squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
27:53Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze
27:55Done
27:5643
27:5743
27:58Jeez, I'll never hear the end of it
28:00I knew it
28:01Can I just say
28:02Can I just say
28:03That is the sign of a healthy level of muscle at your age
28:06What?
28:07That's fantastic
28:08Oh, please
28:0943.9
28:10That's amazing
28:1115 seconds ago I thought I'm heading to a care home
28:14No mate, no
28:15Now I'm striding past it saying
28:16Hello Paul
28:17Yeah
28:20Hey Lan, would you have a bit of mulled wine?
28:22I'd love a bit of mulled wine, thank you
28:24I made this myself on my farm
28:26No you didn't
28:27Correct
28:32Well, thank you so much for coming
28:33Yeah, Merry Christmas
28:34For our backside consultations
28:36They're a joy
28:40Look how pleased you are
28:42There's a kind of musty smell around
28:57I can only imagine it's you, Bob
29:01Be slightly more, what do you mean? Is it biscuity? Is it...
29:04Is it biscuit?
29:05Is it biscuit?
29:06Oxo-cubin old man
29:08Yeah, well I had biscuits, I had an oxo-cubin with biscuits and I'm an old man
29:12And you're an old man, well there we are, got it spot on then
29:14Let's have a smell of you
29:18Good morning
29:20What do you reckon?
29:21Don't know, have you been eating eggs?
29:24Oh no, that's probably trapped wind in me waders, isn't it?
29:27Oh, it's great
29:28Yeah
29:30I'm going to have to go off and get the awards ceremony ready
29:34Oh, okay
29:35Be smart though, Paul
29:37Yeah
29:38What, for the awards?
29:39Yeah, and be respectful of the occasion
29:41I've arranged transport for you, don't you worry
29:43Well, will the occasion respect me?
29:45Of course it will
29:47Ish
29:48Yeah
29:49See you at the awards, Paul
29:51I cannot wait
29:53We should have an award for wrist strength
29:56The hopes we had were much too high
30:01Way out of reach but we have to try
30:07The game will never be over
30:12Because we're keeping the dream alive
30:21How are you?
30:22How are you?
30:23Lovely to see you
30:24You're okay, lovely to see you
30:25I'm fine, thank you
30:26Thanks for having us, Paul
30:27I was actually looking for Rick Steyer's place
30:29Yeah, just down there
30:32But listen, I am absolutely honoured that you've chosen us
30:35For these prestigious awards
30:37And aren't they?
30:38Yeah, they are
30:39So come on in
30:40Thank you
30:48A Cornish Christmas dinner, that's what we're looking for
30:51Yeah, well this is a Cornish Christmas dinner
30:53Right
30:54With a difference because we're going to replace what people would ordinarily probably have
30:57Turkey, hams, beef
30:59Yeah
31:00We're going to do a whole baked turbot
31:02But with all the trimmings
31:03Yeah
31:04And a lovely sort of turbot chicken gravy
31:06Wow
31:07Which you're going to help me to do
31:08Yes, please
31:09I mean, I've got five BAFTAs
31:15Five
31:16But nothing beats a gone fishing lifetime achievement
31:21Just like to thank my family, but most of all Ted
31:27For being such a stalwart companion
31:29Grab that, will ya?
31:31With cooking, it always starts at the beginning building up those layers of flavour
31:35Yeah
31:36So in here we've got some rosemary and thyme
31:38Right
31:39What we're going to do is, we just take some of that rosemary and thyme
31:41Yep
31:42Then rub it between our hands
31:43Because what, all herbs, they contain essential oils
31:46So if you just have a smell of that now
31:48Lovely
31:49Just get that into our garlic, our shallots
31:51Beginning to smell like Christmas
31:53How much does a kitchen like this cost?
31:56Half a million pounds
31:57Oooh
31:59Yeah
32:00Oops
32:01Sell some food then
32:02Yeah
32:03Yeah
32:06Come on Ted
32:07Come on
32:08I can hardly contain myself
32:10I don't know about you
32:11I've come in my own time, son
32:15Afternoon, sir
32:17Can I come aboard?
32:18Yep
32:24Woah, look at that fella
32:25Look at that fella
32:26It's a beauty
32:27Yes, it is
32:28So that's what a turbot looks like
32:29Yeah
32:30That's a turbot
32:31We regard this as king of the sea
32:33Right
32:34It's just superior in flavour
32:35With it being Christmas
32:36I've got a lovely Cornish sparkling wine in with the onions
32:39Yes
32:40Alright
32:41Lay the turbot on top
32:42Yep
32:43And bake in the oven
32:44Right
32:45Let's do this
32:46Look at that
32:47Look at that
32:48Padstow over there
32:49That's where we're going
32:50Apparently
32:51That's where the big ceremony is
32:52That's where we're going
32:53That's where the big ceremony is
32:57That's where the big ceremony is
32:59That's where the big ceremony is
33:04Hey
33:05The sword
33:06The good boy
33:07You know I'm up for the next James Bond, don't you?
33:11Oh, do me a favour
33:13Ha ha ha
33:20Cut a dash, didn't I mate, eh?
33:23You said your deaf as a post, didn't you?
33:25Hold on
33:31Right, let's get these cabbages on
33:32So we're just gonna
33:33Brush them
33:34with a little bit of butter
33:35then I want you to put them
33:36cod down
33:37Yep
33:38On the barbecue
33:39And we've just lightly steamed these cabbages right so that they're nice and cooked and we just get flavor from the barbecue
33:47That's beautiful. Yes now we're cooking
33:52Come Ted come on walk there he is. This is the place little old mum. I'll tell you what you know dogs aren't normally allowed in here
34:00Come on
34:09Oh
34:20Sorry
34:21Lady Bird hmm. Good evening, sir. Hello. What do you want?
34:26Well, could I look at the menu see the wine list? Would you like to see the wine list? Yeah, I would. There you go
34:34Actually, we don't serve wine to the over 80s
34:37It can put them into shock
34:41Are you a halfwit some people say so no surprise will you be requiring the entertainment tonight, sir?
34:50Well, yeah, I see you've got a hound with you. No hounds. Yeah, no, he's got a special dispensation
34:56He's not any old hand who is he then it's Ted Ted the dog. Yeah, he's actually sort of guest of Bob Mortimer's
35:07Who did you say?
35:09You're so easy, aren't you?
35:11It's you, isn't it?
35:13Yeah!
35:15You can see a wine list. Yeah, thank you, sir. There you go. Thank you very much
35:19I've been preparing it gonna call it a Cornish Christmas dinner
35:23Not what you might expect
35:25Really? Have you been helping in the kitchen? I've been helping. Yeah, yeah, because I heard the fire alarm go off
35:30Yeah, what did you do? I was burning cabbage. Oh
35:33Oh, it really? Yeah. Oh, that will do it then
35:39What do I need looking forward to this? It's on its way. It looks amazing
35:44Cheers
35:45Cheers
35:46Oh, it didn't clink. That's fancy glasses. Isn't it? Wow
35:52God
35:53Look at that
35:54Oh, thank you so much
35:56Roast turbot with all the trimmings
35:57Roast turbot
35:58Like
35:59And there you have it
36:01Enjoy
36:02Thank you
36:03And thanks for your help, Bob
36:04Thank you, no worries
36:05Thank you, Paul
36:06I'm going in. Come on
36:07Oh
36:08Mmm
36:09Tire about it, it's amazing
36:10You really do spoil me, Bob
36:13Well, work stews come along once a year
36:16We might as well
36:17Make the most of it, Paul
36:19How many categories are there this year?
36:20Two
36:21So that'll be quick, yeah?
36:23There will be laughter and prizes galore
36:33Who's gonna miss and who's gonna score?
36:36It's the Gone Fishin' Annual Awards
36:44Who loves you, baby?
36:47First up, Paul
36:49Employee of the Year
36:50This is the trophy you won last year
36:53So it has to be returned, I'm afraid
36:56Oh, no
36:57I don't really want to give it back, Rob
36:58It's become such a part of my life, but
37:00Here we go
37:01Nominations are
37:03Let's see
37:05Woo, woo, woo
37:06Yeah!
37:07Let's fish
37:08Ah!
37:09Ah!
37:10Yeah, you got me first cast, you got me, Bob
37:11Well, why were you still there?
37:12Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob
37:13Yes, I know
37:14There you go
37:15You're in, then, without knowing
37:16That's angling, Paul
37:17Do you like watching me fish, sort of?
37:19Yeah, yeah
37:20You can learn, can't you?
37:21Ah!
37:22Yes, he's in!
37:23Yes!
37:24Do not wind, do not
37:26Wind, Bob
37:27I'm not winding, I'm just charging up the reel
37:30There's my dancing, that's specialist stuff there
37:33Wallop
37:34Yes!
37:35Wow, he's fresh
37:36Look at the colours in there
37:38Whoa!
37:39Ted's arriving in style, isn't he?
37:41Yeah, well, he's at
37:42No, it's going to be Ted, isn't it?
37:43Of course it's going to be Ted
37:44I'll come on the other time, alright?
37:45You look so heroic
37:47Oh, look at that guy
37:49Oh, geez!
37:50Hey!
37:53Oh, there's a fault
37:54Oh, there's another
37:55There you are
37:56What's that seven, is it?
37:57It's not for you, Ted
37:58Yeah, but it is
38:00Don't please yourselves
38:02Cool, haven't you?
38:03We had some laughs
38:04We had some laughs
38:05We had some laughs
38:06Oh, this is the moment
38:09Yeah?
38:10Go on
38:13And the winner is
38:17Bob Mortimer
38:18Oh!
38:19Yes, please
38:21Wow!
38:22It's a revelation
38:23Oh, come on, Paul
38:25It's welding there
38:26I'm so pleased for you, Bob
38:27And there's a trophy as well
38:29Oh, for God
38:30It's actually a crown
38:32Oh, that feels good.
38:37Hey, there we are. Did one of the jewels just fall off?
38:39Yeah, it did. Heavy is the head that wears a crown in your case, isn't it?
38:43The size of it. Put your head on me.
38:46Well, there we are. There's one category down.
38:49Let's not prolong the agony. Let's crack on.
38:51I'll take this off out of respect for the award, OK?
38:53OK, thank you.
38:55Because the next award is...
38:57That's... This is a biggie. Lifetime achievement.
39:00If you've given it to yourself, I'm walking out of this restaurant.
39:03I'm never looking back. Don't walk out, Paul.
39:05I'm going to, Bob. If you've given it to yourself...
39:08Let's have a look. Oh, let's have a look at this.
39:09Let's have a look. Ted.
39:12Cute little Billy.
39:14Billy, I dropped that nine years ago.
39:17You coming fishing with us, Ted?
39:19Teddy.
39:20Mind the rod!
39:21Well, this is worse than me, isn't he?
39:24Can you shift over a bit, Ted?
39:25What's he actually achieved?
39:27Well, he's had a lifetime, hasn't he?
39:29Oh, yeah, I'm spying.
39:30Teddy!
39:31Fetch!
39:32Go on!
39:34Is Ted a dog?
39:35He's a species all of his own, aren't you, Ted?
39:38You all right, Ted?
39:40It's like we've super-glued him there, isn't it?
39:43Look, you can move, Ted.
39:45Yeah, it's Ted, isn't it?
39:46You're not going to come, sort of,
39:49blindside and win, are you?
39:50Well, I don't think so. I haven't owned the envelope yet.
39:52Look at the state of him!
39:55And that's when he went insane.
39:56And remember, you have always got us two.
40:01That's right, Ted, you've got us.
40:03Well, let's just confirm it, Paul.
40:05The winner is Ted!
40:07Well deserved, Ted.
40:09Well done, Ted.
40:10Absolutely.
40:10If ever there was a winner there was,
40:12then Ted's the winner there was, yeah.
40:14Teddy, you've got a crown.
40:16Wow.
40:18Let's present ourselves to the camera, Ted.
40:21The king's of the show.
40:27There is someone else on the show, isn't there, Ted?
40:29Yeah, I don't know.
40:30He's just sort of a shadow.
40:34Oh, don't go, Paul.
40:36You might win next year.
40:38Come on, Ted, that's one of Paul's. Leave it alone. Come on.
40:59That's one of Paul's. Leave it alone. Come on.
41:12Breakfast, Paul.
41:27I'll put a little bit of holly on yours, cheer you up.
41:29After last night.
41:31You're not bitter, are you, Paul?
41:33Forgotten all that.
41:34I'm an adult, Bob, so now I'm not bitter.
41:36It just reflects badly on you, you know?
41:38We've got a long drive today. We're going west, west, west, west, west.
41:41Where are we going?
41:42Mouse hurl.
41:43But do you know what they call it, the Cornish people?
41:46It'll be muzzle or something like that, is it?
41:47Not far off, actually. Mousel.
41:50Mousel. Mousel.
41:50But for you and me, it will forever be...
41:53Mouse hurl.
41:55Ah, you pet.
41:57Right, come on.
41:58Mouse hurl.
42:07If I had a deep voice,
42:09I would sing a linger-a-linga-linga-minga-winga-íDBoo.
42:14All day long I'd sing a linger-a-ling
42:17if I had a very deep voice.
42:20If I had a high voice,
42:22I would yo-d-l-d-l-d-l-d-l-d-l-d-l-d-l-d.
42:25We're going to pass by a place called St. Michael's Mount.
42:33You know one of them islands off the sea?
42:36Shall we stop and give Ted a walk?
42:38I mean, I'm seizing up here, aren't you?
42:40I wouldn't mind a leg stretch, Bob.
42:51Come on, Teddy, go!
42:52Come on, let's go!
42:53Come on, Ted!
42:55Come on, Ted!
42:56Come on, Ted!
43:02Bah humbug, well that's too strong
43:04Cause it is my favourite holiday
43:06But all this year's been a busy blur
43:08Don't think I have the energy
43:10To add to my already mad rush
43:12Just cause it's tis the season
43:14The perfect gift for me
43:16Would be completions and connections
43:18Left from last year
43:20Ski shopping come...
43:21There's your first little look at Mousel
43:23Ooh!
43:24Oh, look!
43:25Quintessentially Cornish
43:30Oh, it wasn't designed for the car, was it, Bob?
43:32Getting on everyone's nerves
43:34We're trying to enjoy this peaceful town
43:36I know!
43:37Oh, look at those boats as well, aren't they lovely?
43:39I love a painted boat, don't you, Bob?
43:41Yeah, sweet
43:42See that light blue?
43:43That's a nice one
43:44You know in...
43:45Oh, that's a nice one
43:46Look at the black and yellow
43:50Don't like that one
43:51Taking me out on the boat, aren't you?
43:53I am
43:54Last chance to catch a fish
43:57Come on, Teddy
43:59Wow!
44:00What a morning, Avon
44:01What a morning
44:02Now, the guy we're going out with today on the boat, Neil
44:05He's got a very special relationship with Mousel
44:07He's a Mousel boy
44:08Yeah
44:09But his dad
44:10Mm-hmm
44:11Was on the boat that went out in 1991
44:14Penley disaster
44:15Where all the lifeboatmen were lost at sea
44:18I mean, I have heard of that, yeah
44:19Yeah
44:20And the boat they went to rescue as well went down
44:22It's a proper tragedy
44:24He'll have a tale to tell then
44:25He certainly will, mate
44:27Neil
44:34Hello, Neil
44:35Morning, gentlemen
44:36Thank you so much, Neil
44:38For having us on board
44:39Hey Neil, happy to meet you
44:40Paul
44:41I can't remember his name
44:42What's our chances today, Neil?
44:45It's fishing, guys
44:46You know that
44:47Yeah
44:48It's not called catch, it's fishing
44:49But we've got a good chance of catching a mack or two
44:50And maybe a pollock or two
44:51We'll see what we can do
44:53You've got an involvement with the Penley disaster, haven't you?
44:56Yeah, my father was lost on the Penley lifeboat
44:58Wow
44:59And I was turned away that night
45:00I was a lifeboatman
45:01I was only 17
45:03But like everyone, every man
45:04When I was 17, I knew everything
45:06Yeah
45:07You've got to remember, I've been playing rain in boats
45:08Since I was four or five-year-old
45:09That's all I've ever done
45:10Yeah
45:11Trevelling the coxswain
45:12Refused to take me
45:13He refused to take two from one family
45:14So I was turned away
45:15Wow
45:16And your dad was lost?
45:17My dad was lost, yeah
45:18I mean, never forget them
45:19I'm fiercely proud of what they did that night
45:21Oh, yeah, of course
45:22I mean, the weather conditions was
45:23The worst in living memory
45:24I've never seen weather like it
45:25Wow
45:26How old was your dad, Neil?
45:27My dad was 42
45:28Oh, dear
45:29Oh, my
45:30Of course, all of them, they're all family, friends, old mates
45:32Yeah, of course
45:33It's such a small community
45:34And tight, obviously, it has to be, doesn't it?
45:36It completely changed Mousel forever
45:38Mousel never recovered from that
45:39Oh
45:41Do you do anything to sort of celebrate the memory of those people?
45:44On the 19th, we have the famous Christmas lights and they're dimmed
45:46And we have our own memories and all
45:48You have your own, like, little, you know
45:49Yeah
45:50Yeah
45:51Let's fish today in memory of your dad
45:52Yeah
45:53See if we can get something for him
45:54Over there, Bob, look
45:55You see that cross and that thing?
45:56That's a
45:57Oh, yeah
45:58That's a memorial light to the Penley victims
45:59Oh, right
46:00Over there, Bob, look.
46:15You see that cross?
46:16I think that's a memorial light to the Penley victims.
46:20Oh, right.
46:30What we're doing, we're trying for a pallet and we've got some silver shrimp on.
46:36I've hit the bottom, so I'll put that over now.
46:39Yeah, come on over there.
46:40Just wind up a little bit.
46:41And the idea is to wind up nice and slowly to keep that lure moving all the time.
46:47I keep winding all the way.
46:48Yeah.
46:52Couldn't have picked a better day for it.
46:54Oh, we're lucky, aren't we?
46:55We're lucky, lads.
46:58Ted's loving it.
46:59Hey, mate, loving this.
47:01He's having a good time, isn't he?
47:25I'm searching for the bottom, Paul.
47:27Oh, I'm hitting the bottom now.
47:27And I'm going to fish down there for a bit.
47:29Yeah.
47:39It will be funny, Christmas this year, without Grandad there.
47:41Yeah, yeah.
47:42It's strange.
47:44You know, you hear that some older people who kind of know they're on their last legs want
47:48to get a last Christmas in.
47:50Well, that's exactly, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what happened with my parents.
47:53They both died.
47:54Yeah.
47:55They both died on the same date, I mean, years apart, but January the 5th, thanks?
48:00Yeah.
48:01I mean, I don't know how sentient my mum was about, or conscious of Christmas, but it's
48:07an extraordinary coincidence that, because that's supposed to be, isn't it, that time of year, isn't it?
48:15Yeah.
48:16And I wonder if people have just managed to hold on.
48:18Hold on after Christmas, see the familiar faces one last time.
48:23Yeah.
48:24Well, we'll never know, really, Bob, will we?
48:27My dear old dad always said to me, and I've always tried to live my life like it, just be nice,
48:32that's all you've got to do.
48:33Yeah.
48:34Treat people as you want to be treated, you can't go far wrong, I don't think.
48:36Yeah.
48:37True, mate.
48:38Paul treats me pretty bad.
48:40Does he?
48:41Yeah.
48:42I've seen that, yeah.
48:44He's for his own good, though, Neil.
48:46Keep him on his toes.
48:48Yeah.
48:49Come on, you're not fishing very well, sort yourself out.
48:57Come on, Bob.
48:59The people of Mousel depend on you.
49:01This could be our last chance, you know.
49:03I know.
49:04Neil wants to get to the bookies.
49:07Is there a bookies in Mousel?
49:11No.
49:12We had three grocery shops, a shoe shop, two butchers when I grew up.
49:17There's none anymore.
49:18There's none anymore.
49:19No shoes.
49:20They're all gone.
49:21Should we launch an appeal?
49:23Send shoes to Mousel?
49:24Yeah.
49:37Oh!
49:38He's in.
49:39That might be the bottom, actually.
49:43Come on.
49:44I don't know what it is.
49:45Shall I wind in or keep going?
49:46A couple of mackerel here, look.
49:48Have you got mackerel?
49:49Yeah.
49:50Well done, Paul.
49:51All right.
49:52Let's get that hand twisted.
49:53Look!
49:54Mackerel!
49:55Two mackerel!
49:56Look at that!
49:57Fresh as pain.
49:58Look at them.
49:59Oh, you mind your fingers.
50:00Wow!
50:01It's a very pretty fish, you know, Paul.
50:03It really is.
50:04Let me take the rod for you.
50:05Yeah, you grab that.
50:06Wow, look at it.
50:07Electric fish, isn't it?
50:08What a creature.
50:10Amazing.
50:11Wow!
50:12That's what we've come for.
50:13And that is our first ever mackerel.
50:15First ever mackerel.
50:16Wow!
50:17Look at the sheen on it.
50:18It took us seven or eight years.
50:20It's been brilliant, Neil.
50:25It's been lovely.
50:26What a glorious day.
50:27But we've got our Christmas night to compile.
50:29Oh-ho-ho!
50:30What have you got lined up for me, Bob?
50:32You'll have to wait and see.
50:33I will, won't I?
50:34Well.
50:35Excited.
50:36Maybe this Christmas will mean something more.
50:41Maybe this year, love will appear.
50:46Deeper than ever before.
50:51And maybe...
50:53Wind yourself down here, Paul.
50:56Halt.
50:58Because we are staying here.
51:00Lovely.
51:01Do you know what it is?
51:02No.
51:03Quaint.
51:04Quaint's a good description.
51:05Yeah, it is, isn't it?
51:06Quaint works.
51:07Come on in.
51:08Maybe this Christmas will...
51:11Whoa!
51:14Christmas is here, Bob.
51:17Oh, how lovely.
51:18That is just what I ordered.
51:20Christmas vibe.
51:21Hello, Christmas.
51:23Lovely.
51:24Ooh.
51:25You manage those stairs, old-timer?
51:27Yeah, not too bad.
51:28Oh, this is lovely.
51:30Lovely.
51:31Look at this.
51:32Oh, a little living room.
51:33Nice.
51:34Twin beds.
51:35Have you brought your twins?
51:36Yeah, this is a nice one.
51:37Harbour view.
51:40Bob, look at this.
51:41Look.
51:42All the way up.
51:43Oh, yeah.
51:44Wow.
51:45Wow.
51:46I look after you.
51:47I really look after you, darling.
51:48You do, don't you, mate?
51:49Happy Christmas.
51:50Where's my proof case?
51:52I'll give you a clue, Ted.
51:53It's right there.
51:54Ha, ha, ha.
51:55Ha, ha, ha.
51:56In the car.
51:57Ha, ha, ha.
51:58It's Laurel and Hardy, isn't it?
52:01Ha, ha, ha, ha.
52:03Watch your ears, Ted.
52:04Nice.
52:05A few more of these.
52:06Come on old-timer!
52:07Ooh.
52:08Look at this.
52:09Cool.
52:10Who have you had in?
52:11Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen?
52:13Yeah, yeah.
52:14I'm a little old-timer.
52:15Come on, old-timer.
52:16Ooh.
52:17Look at this.
52:18Cool.
52:19Who have you had in?
52:20Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen?
52:21Nice, a few more of these, come on old timer, look at this, who have you had in, Laurence
52:35Llewellyn Bowen, it's amazing look at that, cheers for a lovely Christmas trip, is this
52:41Cornish Champagne, I've got your present Paul, have you, is that okay, I think it is because
52:50I've got one for you, would you like it, do you think you deserve it, yes I do, even after
52:56all your gloating with your crowns and your self aggrandisation, you still think you deserve
53:01a present, if you don't want to give it to us, don't, of course I do Bob, because I am give,
53:06give, give, oh, go on then, yep, there it is, oh it's a clonker, it is isn't it, it suits me,
53:18it's gentlemanly, and if you get annoyed with me, yeah, you can just go, like that, and if I've
53:24made a mistake in the bath, we can just quickly move it, thank you very much, I can tell this is
53:31actually rather beautiful, it is a cracker, isn't it, walnut, yeah, no, do you want one, oh,
53:37it's just there on the plate, thank you very much, oh no, it's a beauty, that makes me so happy,
53:43I mean it is lovely, but mine's a bad present, happy Christmas to you, competitive Bob, thank
53:48you Bob, I wonder what this is, if you like it, is it a picture of Bob in a crown, it's a confession
53:54calendar, it's nice, do you see, I thought I'd make you look nice, I see, well I look pretty good
54:04like that, don't I, I look like Lawrence Llewellyn Bowie, just relaxing in front of some books,
54:11there's a nice one of you, isn't it, isn't that nice, you and Ted,
54:19you know, you, you look quite short there, don't you, a little tiny head,
54:23oh, look at that, boom, that was, that's a bit rude boy mode there, wasn't it, yeah,
54:33you'd like that one, I tell you what Bob, it's not far off, is it, well thank you, what a treat,
54:42I should probably go and get our little meal, go on in, we're going to have turkey and some cake,
54:47oh, it's a beauty, isn't it, my favourite meal of the Christmas period,
54:56oh, go on, slice me off some breast, beautiful, it's nicely cooked, oh, it is, look at that,
55:04lovely, yeah, ah, you cheeky fella, it's actually a turkey cake, it's a turkey cake,
55:12it's a turkey cake, oh, lovely, isn't that a sensation, well done Bob,
55:17a lovely bit of trickery there, Christmas trickery, lovely mate, because you know,
55:21Christmas is a time when you can be a little bit naughty, turn for a wake, do you want a carrot,
55:28go on, oh, hold on a minute, hold on, wait a minute, wait a minute, you two tricksters,
55:36what are you doing to me, well, bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had,
55:40if I'm not back to the game,
55:41LAUGHTER
55:50Pretty by the end of our Cornish Christmas trip, Bob?
55:52It is.
55:53How are you feeling about going home, because it's going to be your first Christmas,
55:57without your granddad?
55:58It will be different, and we'll all miss him, yeah, and it will never be the same again,
56:03no, but we'll pull a cracker, yeah, on his anniversary, he liked a cracker, well,
56:08it's actually good to have very fond, positive memories of people, you know, I do with my parents,
56:15those, my parents, your granddad, they had a long life, so, did have a long life,
56:20yeah, and here's a nice thing, is round our Christmas table, when the boys were young,
56:25and granddad was sat there, the little boys and granddad would always wear their paper hat,
56:31right, we were all too vain, and full of ourselves, yeah, but old granddad and the kids,
56:37and the boys, that's what granddad's for really, yeah, granddad's for wearing,
56:41sit there, be quiet, put the hat on, granddad,
56:43and carry them home, home, home from the sea, angel of mercy, answer our plea,
56:54can you hear that? I can, yeah, yeah, so sing it, yeah, come with me to the window,
57:03for a final Christmas spectacular, come on, come on, mate,
57:13joy, joy, joy, joy, the mouse hole, male voice, choir, let earth receive a kiss,
57:26I love a male voice, I know you do, I know you do,
57:29let the heart prepare him room, joy to the world, the saviour reigns, let all their songs
57:42and blow. Happy Christmas,
57:45Paul. Merry Christmas, well, mate. Merry Christmas. Thanks, mate. What an amazing truth.
57:49Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy.
58:00Thank you, and merry Christmas to you all. Thank you very much.
58:05And the win. Cheers and go! Cheers and go!
58:12We haven't yet disclosed
58:17We bother living daylights
58:20I better want to close
58:22And all our cards at Christmas
58:25Are written to us both
58:28Come on
58:31Who's got the most
58:34Said we'd be close
58:37Said we'd run perfectly
58:40Said that we'd do
58:43Beautiful company
58:46Closer than a sister to her
58:51A baby brother
58:53Closer than a cat to the child
58:57That she'll smother
58:59It's too close for a lover
59:02It's too close for a lover
59:04We are each other
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