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The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In Season 3 Episode 1
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FunTranscript
00:00I
00:26Welcome to the two johnny's late night lock-in
00:30All right
00:33Hi, it's max. Oh what a week of had an absolute nightmare someone back into me car the cat went missing that rashes back and
00:41And I can't find a winning lot of ticket. Oh, how was your week? Great. I won the lotto
00:51Right lads, let's get on with the show our first guest tonight. He's an Irish sporting legend
00:56He won the Grand National on tiger roll tiger roll the horse. Yeah, that explains the pile of shit outside my dressing
01:04Yeah, the horse did it
01:07Give it up for Davey Russell
01:09Oh
01:19This man, he's brilliant, and he's no relation to Davey Russell. It's Russell Kane
01:23Oh
01:31And we'll have music from a man who has the voice of an angel if that angel smoke 20 fags a day. It's the mighty damn the kid
01:38Oh
01:48It's time to find out who's in the bar
01:52Who's in the bar?
01:54Ladies and gentlemen in the bar tonight. We are very honored to have the one and only 20 25 Rose of Tralee Kate and Commons
02:01Welcome to the bar. Thank you very much. Massive congratulations on winning the Rose of Tralee. I mean, it's great to have you
02:16How has life been treating you since you were crowned the Rose?
02:18Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. The experiences I've had so far and the opportunities coming up are just
02:23Exceptional and I'm so so excited for the year ahead. Well, why should we have you here? Will you help us officially open the show? I will, of course
02:29Okay, right
02:33We assume this is what roses of Tralee do. Yes. Yeah, okay, right
02:37So we would like to officially declare this series of the two Johnnies late-night lock-in
02:42Open
02:49Thanks for winning to Caitlin as well. We'll be having a chat with you later. Caitlin, go up to the bar there and get yourself a drink
02:53Ladies and gentlemen, the Rose of Tralee. Caitlin, comments
02:55Okay, who in the audience is ready to meet our first guest?
03:03To find out who our guest is we head over to Seamus the Sheep
03:09Seamus the Sheep always decides to guess so who's it going to be?
03:13It is between Davy Russell a Jack Russell or Mr. Muscle who loves the jobs you hate
03:21All right, who's Seamus going for? I hope it's not the dog. It's going to be an awkward interview. It is of course Davy Russell
03:27Oh, I won't cover anybody!
03:41You want to play the song? Oh, yeah
03:43Davy, welcome to the bar. How are you? Yeah, cool. Yeah, delighted to be here
03:47Cool
03:49It's not my first time
03:51Have you been in this bar before?
03:53Loads of times
03:55Never remember recording though? No
03:57Okay, that's a good thing. Where to even start with you?
03:59I mean you're one of Ireland's best ever sports people
04:0161 Grade 1 winners your three-time Irish Jumper Racing Champion Jockey
04:04Two-time Grand National Winner, Cheltenham Gold Cup Winner and Grand Steeplechase to Paris
04:07Harry
04:09Dave, welcome to the bar
04:11I'm wrecked after naming him. He must have been wrecked after riding him
04:17The horses
04:19Do you know when you
04:21Do you know when you win a big race? Like the Gold Cup
04:25You don't get the Gold Cup
04:27Like when you win a race, what do you get?
04:29I get a miniature one
04:31Version of the trophy
04:33Not the exact trophy, no
04:35It's literally a Gold Cup
04:37A small one? Yeah
04:38And generally after a race like you get a little medal
04:40You won the race, no?
04:41I don't know
04:42Usually you get kind of a bottle of champagne
04:45Or a horse's head
04:47Or a statue
04:49A statue
04:51Not like
04:53A godfather
04:55No, just a little statue
04:57Or a memento to say
04:59Whatever race it was, when it was
05:01Class
05:02Say when you win a big race, you win a Gold Cup
05:04The most amazing thing to us is that like
05:0615-20 minutes later
05:07You're back on another horse
05:08Yeah, it's
05:09It's
05:10It's really fast
05:11It happens
05:12Everything happens
05:13Do you get a chance to celebrate?
05:14No
05:15You're brilliant at your job
05:16Thank you, David
05:17Yeah, of course
05:19But you don't celebrate every show like, do you?
05:21Like, you know what I mean?
05:22You'd be surprised
05:23We don't get over here till Sunday
05:25We don't get over here till Sunday
05:26We celebrate some
05:28Some race
05:29But not immediately after
05:30You have to move on to the next one
05:31Keep going
05:32And was it particularly tough for you?
05:33Because you're tall as jockeys go
05:34Yeah, so I
05:35You were 5'11?
05:365'11
05:37I was 6 foot
05:38Like, in them shoes you are?
05:41Yeah
05:42That's tall for a jockey
05:43Yeah, it was quite tall
05:44Maybe when I started was tall
05:45Not anymore
05:46You know, lads are getting taller
05:47Why is that?
05:48Are horses getting bigger?
05:49No, horses getting taller
05:50How did you keep the weight down though?
05:54Yeah, you're just there
05:55You're just very busy
05:56And you get into a routine then of not eating basically
05:59And sweating
06:00Wow
06:01So you would go in the bat?
06:03Yeah, I prefer the bat
06:05A lot of lads used the sauna
06:06Some lads used to use the sauna
06:08But I loved using the bat
06:09It was
06:10It wasn't sink as much
06:11Like, your eyes would get into the back of your head
06:13And
06:14What did you do in the bat?
06:15Just sit there
06:16Sit there
06:17Sit there
06:18Sit there because you're not able to do much more
06:20I wouldn't advise it to anybody
06:22Like you get a wrinkly
06:23Like I'm actually only 25
06:24You get a wrinkly face
06:29And you get in really bad form
06:32And things like that
06:33But
06:34At least you get the right good horses
06:35Yeah
06:36Nothing else wrinkled at all
06:37We know that you're an incredible crack
06:40Because we've been out together on a few nights out
06:42But like
06:43We know at the same time
06:44You're all ye jockeys
06:45You're all in the same way room
06:46You're all like
06:47Kind of talking out together
06:48For want of a better room
06:49We're literally beside each other
06:50We're all
06:51Can I get spicy in there?
06:52Like can I be
06:53Do you know what I mean?
06:54Like I'll be honest
06:55Like if some lad cut me off now in a corner
06:56He'd be
06:57Yeah there's kind of a code
06:58Right
06:59There'd be a couple of
07:00But really like we're small
07:01Little
07:02Lads
07:03It's kind of
07:04Kind of a mormon
07:06Don't do that again
07:09I'd say
07:10Yeah I'd say
07:11That's what you're like
07:12No yeah
07:13No it can get a bit spicy
07:14But at the end of the day
07:16We all know how dangerous it is
07:17Yeah
07:18We get on it
07:19You know
07:20Finish the end of the day
07:21You move on to the next day
07:22And speaking of that man
07:23You've had somewhat injuries
07:24Yeah
07:25Is there any bone you haven't broken?
07:26I don't know
07:27It's not really a bust
07:28Because that means I fell off a lot
07:30And it's not my job to fall off
07:33Stay on them
07:34But like you've broken
07:35Leg
07:36Hip
07:37Oh legs
07:38Legs
07:39Arms
07:40Fingers
07:41Wrists a lot
07:42My ankles
07:43This okay to my ankle
07:44Twisted
07:45Look down
07:46And my ankles
07:47Face back that way
07:48My neck
07:49And my face
07:50I actually
07:51I had a modelling contract
07:53Before
07:54Sorry
07:56I didn't mean to laugh
07:57Sorry
07:58I was going modelling socks
08:00But er
08:03No my face
08:04That was really
08:05What did you break in your face?
08:06Everything
08:07So
08:08My nose
08:10Separated from my cheekbone
08:11And
08:12Do you know
08:13You can't really see the top of your nose
08:15Do you know what I mean?
08:16But I could
08:17It was right there under my eye
08:20Oh man
08:21And you got back on the horse
08:22Cut back on
08:24Oh my goodness
08:25Awesome
08:26All of
08:28All of
08:29All of these injuries
08:30Right
08:31All of these injuries you've got over the years
08:32They didn't stop you dancing
08:33Oh no I love dancing
08:34Like
08:35There's no stopping you when it comes to the
08:36To the dancing
08:37And you're normally a designated driver on the night out
08:38Because you don't be drinking
08:39Yeah
08:40Yeah
08:41I actually love driving
08:42And er
08:43You get to
08:44You go around to loads of different places
08:45And
08:46I'm always driving
08:47The lads are drinking
08:48And we always end up somewhere funny
08:50Somewhere queer
08:51Something always strange happens
08:52Yeah
08:53Actually there's a friend of mine here tonight
08:54Davy Condon
08:55Is there somewhere
08:56In the crowd
08:57And er
08:58Oh we were
08:59This random night
09:00We ended up
09:01In Tallow
09:02We were living in Cashel
09:03So we were going over the V
09:04Yeah and it's
09:05Bad old roads
09:06Yeah bad old roads
09:07And
09:08Boys had a couple of
09:09Drinks in them
09:10And they had to stop
09:11On top of the V
09:12So there was Martin first and Davy Condon
09:13Were with me
09:14And er
09:15So they were standing up off the edge of the V
09:16Big cliff
09:17You know
09:18Big fish and the two boys were there
09:19And
09:20Davy Condon decided it would be funny to kick Martin Ferris
09:23Off the side
09:24And Martin rolled down the side of the mountain
09:27And er
09:28We were all laughing
09:29And we were saying
09:30Come on Martin it's time to go
09:31He came back up
09:32He was covered
09:33In sheep faeces
09:34He had rolled into a dead sheep
09:37So I'm there with my car and I'm looking and I said Martin there is no way you're getting into this car
09:45Dressed like that
09:47So we stripped him right
09:49Put all his clothes into the boot
09:51Threw away some of them
09:52And he was sitting in the back of the car dark naked
09:54And you know that when you come down off the V
09:57You know the road into care
09:58It's a one way street
09:59Yeah
10:00And we were going the one way
10:01But we were going the wrong way
10:02Down the one way
10:03Down the one way
10:04And er
10:05You couldn't write this
10:06And we were just
10:07So it's a short cut
10:08Like when it's
10:093 o'clock in the morning
10:10There's no one around
10:11We went to shoot down next thing
10:12Blue lights
10:13I'm sitting in the car
10:16And I'm saying to myself
10:17How am I going to explain this
10:19Davy Condon was asleep
10:21Beside me
10:22Martin Ferris was stark naked
10:23In the back of the car
10:24And I rolled down the
10:26Rolled down the window
10:27I was driving a 1978 Toyota Starlet
10:30And
10:31I rolled down the window
10:32And the guard
10:33And I said
10:34Gareth
10:35I promise you
10:36It's not what it seems to me
10:37He looked in the back
10:38Martin Ferris are smiling
10:40No clothes on him
10:42Davy Condon was starting to wake up
10:44And er
10:45The guard said
10:46I actually don't have enough paper
10:48In my notepad
10:49We were wondering
10:52Seeing as you build up a relationship
10:54With the horse
10:55You have to work together as a team
10:56And you ride them
10:57And you win races
10:58Would the horse recognise you?
11:00I doubt it
11:02Well would you recognise the horse?
11:05I would
11:06You would?
11:07Yeah
11:08We'll put this to the test Davy
11:09We've got a little game for you
11:10Here it is
11:11We're calling this game
11:12Maniac 2000 Guineas
11:13Right
11:14So we're going to show you some pictures
11:32Some pictures. This is the view you would have had when you were riding these horses winning races. Did I these horses did I roll?
11:39Yes, okay, so let's have a look at horse number one
11:48It's got a double bridle on no way so you did that's one of yours. That's one of yours. Yeah
12:02They don't all look the same from behind Davey
12:09You rode this horse who is it Sam crow it's max. Well Davey. Let's find out if you're right. It is Sam crow
12:23Okay, Davey here's a look at horse number two
12:28Now that is that that is I would say a harder one
12:31very hairy
12:35No, I you did
12:42Right I I I I don't know that horse no take a guess if it's
12:48Field or it's not Irish point. Oh good horse. Yeah
12:53It was my last winner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah my last winner. Yeah good horse him. Yeah, you can't hear you
13:01Let's listen. Let's have a look at one more. Let's have a look at one more
13:04Ah the man himself is it what are you saying? What are you saying? What are you saying? Is that the tiger?
13:09It is tiger? Oh
13:11What is he?
13:15Good horse.
13:17Good horse.
13:19Give it up for the one and only.
13:21Davey Russell.
13:29Davey is going to join us for a game of Dayton or Related.
13:32Russell and Caitlin, are you happy to join us for a game of Dayton or Related?
13:35Definitely.
13:36In honour of the Rose Trulli being from Leash,
13:39we have...
13:43If you were going on a night out, would you go to Port Leash?
13:45No.
13:47He said you would.
13:48In honour of the Rose Trulli being here and being from Leash,
13:51we have a camera in Vibe Bar in Market Square in Port Leash.
13:55And just going off how people look, we've got to guess,
13:57are they dating or are they related?
13:59Caitlin, do you know the Vibe Bar in Port Leash?
14:03I do.
14:04Have you frequented it?
14:06Yeah.
14:07Before the Rose Trulli, I'm sure.
14:08Yeah.
14:09OK, let's go and find a couple.
14:10Let's spin that camera around.
14:11Let's head around the Vibe Bar.
14:12Oh, I'm intrigued.
14:13Are they both ginger?
14:16These two.
14:17Oh, my God.
14:18Yeah.
14:19Oh, yeah.
14:20Zoom in and in.
14:21Here we go.
14:22Hello, lads.
14:23How are you?
14:24You're live on television with the two Johnnies.
14:25Nod your head if you're up for playing a game.
14:27Dating or related, Davey?
14:30There's only one drink between the two of them.
14:32LAUGHTER
14:37They have to be dating.
14:38Yeah.
14:39Get them two straws, please.
14:42OK, lads, what do you reckon, dating or related?
14:44Russell, what do you think?
14:45They've got to be related, surely.
14:47Yeah.
14:48They've even got a Siamese pint.
14:49LAUGHTER
14:52OK, lads.
14:53Right, audience, what do you think?
14:54Dating or related?
14:55Dating.
14:56I'll tell you what.
14:57We'll find out after the break.
14:58MUSIC PLAYS
15:23All right, welcome back to the two Johnnies.
15:25Now, before the break, we had a camera out in the streets of Porta Leash
15:32and we wanted to find out if this couple were dating or related
15:35and remember them from before the break.
15:36Here they are.
15:37What do we think, lads?
15:38Dating.
15:39I'll tell you one thing for a long time.
15:40They haven't drank much out of that pint.
15:42LAUGHTER
15:43Let's see.
15:44Let's prove if you are dating or related.
15:46RELATED.
15:48RELATED.
15:50APPLAUSE
15:56Put your hands together for everybody going to Porta Leash.
15:59CHEERING
16:01Now, lads, lads, lads.
16:04Lads, it is time for some incredible stand-up.
16:08Everyone put your hands together for this man, one of the UK's
16:10biggest and best comedians.
16:12It's Russell King!
16:13CHEERING
16:16Hello, hello.
16:17You all right?
16:18Hello, hello.
16:19Thanks for having me.
16:20This is exciting, isn't it?
16:21A proper Irish pub gig.
16:22I did think it was going to be in a city.
16:23I didn't realise it was going to be quite so far out.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:26LAUGHTER
16:27I didn't realise it was going to be quite so far out.
16:28LAUGHTER
16:29Hello, hello.
16:30You all right?
16:31Hello, hello.
16:32Thanks for having me.
16:33This is exciting, isn't it?
16:34A proper Irish pub gig.
16:35I did think it was going to be in a city.
16:36I didn't realise it was going to be quite so far out.
16:38But, no, that is a good thing.
16:39I started to hear fucking banjos as I left the airport.
16:41Now that I'm here, I'm glad.
16:42So, normally, what's going on in the UK at the moment,
16:44the younger the audience is, the younger the audience is,
16:46the younger the audience is, the younger the audience is,
16:48the younger the audience is, the younger the audience is,
16:50the younger the audience is.
16:52So, it's great to be in fucking Ireland,
16:54with a real fucking...
16:56I shot myself at first,
16:58but it's fucking country people
16:59that want to have a fucking laugh about shit.
17:01So, I'm glad to be...
17:02I'm possible to offend, hopefully, yeah?
17:04I'm hoping.
17:05What is your name?
17:06Claire from Guess Who?
17:07What's your name?
17:08It's what?
17:09Siobhan and...
17:10No!
17:11No!
17:12No!
17:13No!
17:14No!
17:15No!
17:16No!
17:17No!
17:18No!
17:19No!
17:20No!
17:21No!
17:22Well, Siobhan, your knickers, no!
17:23No!
17:24No!
17:25It's, uh...
17:26What's it like here, then,
17:27there's people getting offended easily here?
17:28It's, uh...
17:30Back home, it's even hard to tell a joke,
17:32because a joke is about feeling uncomfortable.
17:34So, I will create this slightly tense atmosphere now.
17:38Er...
17:39And, er...
17:40...that is released through humor.
17:42So a joke is about feeling awkward.
17:44But you don't, this is the generation that has not been taught
17:47To be uncomfortable and a joke makes you feel like most people were where I'm from over the age of 35 walked to school from the age of 11
17:56unattended walked fucking unattended even through stabby inner cities through the countryside
18:01But now everyone's driven everywhere because everyone's scared of pedophiles are going to jump out of bushes
18:06Only it's not true. Is it? It's not true. The world is a safe place
18:10But we're taking away independence from children and therefore they're growing up so sensitive
18:14They have to run to the triggering area to be covered in soy latte and have pronouns etched into there
18:19Oh my god, I've got a word on me. I'm offended. My feelings are hurt. That's what I'm fucking dealing with back home
18:25I will start in a minute. I'm just setting up the atmosphere
18:30No, because this is young people so we don't have to punch like the older people that knows over there. How about a fucking jork?
18:36This is these people are Gen Zed. They have no structure. They can't even afford a deposit on a flat in Dundalk. They don't want structure
18:43They just want just improvise just list woodland animals badger squirrel. He's so postmodern get out of my room granddad
18:49Stop trying to understand the human. There is no structure. And you know, why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?
18:55Let's welcome it into Ireland. Let's give it a safe space. I'm sick. I'm sick of chickens crossing the road
19:01Let's give it a space where it can transition into a turkey safely if that's what it wants to be
19:06Do you know what's weird because we're in a pub and you know that there's a rise of non-drinking amongst this generation
19:14That's a good thing. I don't miss the image. You know women like passed out outside the KFC with
19:19Chicken nuggets scattered around their sprawled thighs like a couple of lads going around them like David
19:24Like a David Atten. This one's unconscious Sheamus. Let's take her back
19:28That's obviously a good thing
19:30Um, it's good
19:32But there's one other thing that's on the rise which I think is interesting because the pub is an environment
19:36I don't know what it's like here, but back home pubs are closed. Are they closing here as well? They're closing
19:40We're losing like the social this is what's so fucking great about this show is it's bringing to life in a dramatic way
19:46The idea of socializing and gathering and having a lot is fucking dying Gen Z
19:51You need to get on it again. You need to get out the house put down the iPad
19:55They're we're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous don't let them play outside why what in case they discover
20:03Exploration independence problem solving resilience and essential fucking adult skills
20:07And ironically leaving them indoors with the iPad where the pedophiles actually live by the way
20:15So we find ourselves in an environment
20:17I don't have I don't have a set script by the way. I'm sorry if it feels disjointed. I'm I'm sorry
20:27I just I just I just speak I thought I'd fit right in here. It's just putting my arm on the bar and doing some storytelling
20:34Anyway, so it's good that you're not you're not drinking, but but we're not connecting either
20:39And the other thing is that's on the rise here and I checked the stats for both countries before I came on celibacy
20:45It's people aged 16 to 25 and stop shagging
20:49There's this with an intimacy a recession. They're not they're not getting together. They're not forming relationships
20:55Then when they get to sort of 28 30, they're marrying less got declining birth rates
21:00Am I the only fucker that can see the obvious link between the decline of drinking alcohol and the rise of celibacy?
21:07It's fucking obvious
21:09um
21:10Siobhan and no, I don't know how long you've been together
21:1224 years right we don't even need to check right unless you're muslim or a recovering addict no
21:20You were off your tits the first time you got it on with siobhan there is no one there is no
21:26There is no other way there is no
21:30There is
21:35Guaranteed well
21:41Well we know
21:45Well now now that's guaranteed then I know we don't even need to check no do not confirm or do I know for a fact
21:50You wouldn't even be here tonight you never would
21:54Were it not for alcohol you would not have been created there'd be an empty space there'd be no rows
22:00Noel would have had to get to the point where I go I could see two of you can I smash one of you
22:03It would have been something like that
22:06Wouldn't it
22:07It's bang on thank you
22:09That's it put your chips on my back Noel that's it
22:11That's it I can feel the vinegar on my chinese tattoo
22:18Thank you very much good evening
22:29How did you pretend it was easy
22:30It was that good I'm sweating
22:45Now ladies and gentlemen it's time for one of the greatest quizzes of all time it's the parish quiz
22:51And our first parish up today is nerney in the county of kildare and representing them is the one and only tight furlong
23:10First of all what a name tight furlong
23:13I mean that must go down a treat around nerney does it oh many you try to ring someone to say you're not from half for ireland are you
23:19Yeah
23:21You be ringing them up now just going yeah I'll collect that who is it tight furlong yeah good one
23:25Do they throw you in that extra to get a few freebies around the town no one ever the minute you walk in to say oh jeez you weren't who I was expecting
23:32You're just as dangerous though tigle i'll tell you uh tigle what do you do for work
23:36Groundworks drive machines and concrete and all that sort of crap
23:39Oh shit it's rough and rearing and tearing and all of bollocksing and tipping away and root and
23:45hardship
23:47Absolute hardship so what's what's your favorite machine then of use like a digger digger out of the rain
23:55A digger out in the rain but she has a i love i love when you talk hardship to me
24:01Does everyone in nerney love hardship ah i'd say 95 percent of them
24:05Brilliant stuff lads give it up for tigle everyone
24:13Our second parish from the county of limerick in and representing khalidi is ashling magner how are you
24:19I think what's the crack what are you up to i'm great delighted to be here brought the whole pecking part
24:30with me
24:30I hope he locked the door on the way i would kill you
24:33There could be a serious robberies going on this season
24:37We hope not and what are you doing yourself i work for the limerick newspaper in limerick so
24:41Very good what's what's in the news these days in limerick everything and everything nothing but robberies
24:51Now we heard you had an interest in the old rose of trillie yourself
24:57What's going on
24:59We're only about 40 minutes odd from trillie at home
25:01So we go back every year so i recognized a few of the faces when i came in this evening
25:05And i know we love it and how do you think caitlin is doing oh she's fab caitlin's a douche
25:08She has such a good guy great answer rose trillie answer
25:13100 percent i feel like that you already
25:16What a cool lady
25:19You ready for tonight though all right keep it up for ashling magner lads
25:27Okay it's time to play the parish quiz clive we're starting with nerney here we go here's your question
25:31Hi thig jillian here from the shop can you tell us which local farmer sells us these potatoes
25:39No thig that's jillian from the shop
25:43No need for first names the shop i like how i like how you're all in nerney
25:48Too much hardship to name the shop it's just a shop who produces them spuds
25:53Eh jeez john burn john burn okay all right john burn you say let's find out if you're right
26:01And the answer is the burns
26:19You ready ready to go okay over to kill edie for your question
26:22Hello ashling how are you my name is jim olcahy and i want to know what title did i get the night
26:34i collected the most money in the ashworth tavern in 1997
26:42What title did that man win by collecting money
26:46i'd be extradited if i didn't know the answer to this uh jim is the mayor of khalidi
26:53he's the mayor because he collected money yes yeah and that was 1997 and to this day jim's house is
26:58known as the mayor office of khalidi and that is his his signature is jim the mayor of khalidi
27:03are you saying a politician bought their way into power i don't believe it
27:08i don't believe it i don't believe it i don't believe it i don't believe it so jim is the mayor
27:13the mayor of khalidi let's go back to big jim and find out
27:17in 1997 it was the lord mayor of khalidi
27:22here's your next question
27:36hi tig my question for you what's the name of this burger it was discontinued because it was too hard
27:42to eat
27:56now let me tell you what's on the first a quarter pounder patty a chicken fillet donor meat bacon a
28:00fried egg one fresh underring melted cheddar cheese fried onions chopped lettuce layer between five
28:04five burger buns no wonder the discontinued still as we're just dropping our own learning
28:08right right what do you reckon that burger was called that burger was called bog man's burger
28:15the bog man's burger let's find out if you're right tig and the answer is the bog monster burger
28:28we can't give it it's the bog monster not the bog man they've been very
28:38i feel like i'm on the chase
28:47half a point what does that say above that a half what does that say read that
28:53i'm not read it read it what's it say the two johnny's late night locking good woman yeah
28:59what's your own name jessica it doesn't say jessica's late no good woman jessica behave yourself
29:09security okay ashley let's go back to khalidi for your next question
29:15hi ashley margaret and mike here we're here in the shop in nahida and margaret has a question for you
29:21i think what year did my mother open the shop
29:28now that is khalidi's posh and bex margaret and mike
29:33oh god what year did margaret's mother open the shop oh like i think it's the 50s
29:39i'm between 53 or 54. go on give it a go 54. 1954. okay let's go back to dexter's laboratory and find out
29:47oh gosh and the answer is 1953
30:04it's a draw lads which means we need a tiebreaker right can we get davy russell give us a hand with this
30:08time record davy russell jump in here this this is a tough quiz this is a tough quiz well you see you're
30:18not from those parishes 53 and 1954 do you know what i mean okay lads so our question is davy russell
30:28champion jockey all his life had to be on top of his weight in order to race our question is now he's
30:33retired what weight is he he's retired what weight is he you don't have a way in time you have a way in
30:38skills no please no tige and nerney to the nearest kg what weight would you say davy he's laying him
30:44up and down what would you put on him take
31:0188 kg 88 kg what's that in old money i don't know i don't know what that is no money yeah 88 kg
31:08ashley oh it's pure shot in the dark i'd say 85 kg okay she's went for a little less on 85 well
31:16here's the moment the truth davy jump in that room we're back in the way room oh i mean like
31:20with or without clothes we'll be back after the break we'll live on the clothes i'll just hop up
31:28and she'll work away yeah okay including the boots 88 kg which means tiger's the winner
31:46now here is the moment to choose okay in one of these envelopes is an all expenses paid trip to las vegas
31:54now also in there okay is a bag of spuds from the shop
32:05which envelope are you going to take tige what's it going to be in one of them is the trip to vegas
32:08and the others the bag of spuds we're going with this one you're going with that one closest to you
32:12okay tige open her up and let us know dead right bless yourself i'd be fingers crossed for you tige
32:17what's the rest of the camera what's it going to be a bag of spuds
32:23thanks give it up for tige and athling
32:28now still to come we'll be chatting to russell cain we'll have more from our rosa
32:32literally caitlin commons with music to come from dan mccabe and loads more crack put on the kettle we'll
32:36see you in a few minutes
32:37welcome back to johnny's late night luck
32:42i'm tired of going round and round
32:49i play the game my mother lost
32:54they stop the world and let me off
32:59hey welcome back to johnny's late night lock-in
33:12how are you lad i'm so excited lad i tell you i've just bought a new house it's amazing i love
33:16absolutely everything about my new house what sort is it i've got a semi yeah i can see that but what
33:20kind of house is it just semi-detached all right sorry get on with the show come on right lads in the
33:26bar tonight is the one and only rose of trillie give it up for her caitlin commons is here lads
33:32let's go down let's go down let's go down
33:34the rose of trillie look sorry mammy can i scoot you in
33:39i don't know if i need this or oh thank you thank you very much yeah no that's definitely
33:43appropriate yeah you enjoying the show so far i am indeed oh my god brilliant night brilliant
33:47okay now a lot of people including myself don't know what the rose of trillie actually does
33:51over the year that you had rose so can i just ask have you
33:55met daniel o'donnell i have have you been in the farmer's journal i have did you meet the
33:59Taoiseach oh yeah today yeah yeah okay have you been an attractor run i have have you visited a
34:05nursing home in abbey leaks i have have you been welly throwing yeah have you presented medals in
34:11bally ragged i have have you been on the two johnnies late night lock-in i have indeed
34:15one of the many interesting things about you is that you must be the first rose of trillie ever who
34:26is an apprentice electrician yeah do the people you work with the lads treat you differently now
34:30you come back into work on monday as the rose oh they couldn't give a shit
34:37oh my god no when i came back to work after the monday after trillie like it was
34:40half an hour questions straight back to work i got my new car i was like oh new car is nice that was
34:45it that was it into it that was it so if you get a call uh been like orders a job at the weekend
34:51are you asking is this a sash job or a cash job
34:58probably most more than likely a rose job rose job these days okay okay very good and we heard that at
35:04the ploughing you were doing a bit of judging i was indeed yes what were you judging i was judging
35:09the young irish rural rising stars right and well you've been judged uh did you enjoy doing the
35:15bit of judging oh i did yeah yeah it was great well would you like to do some more i'd love to okay
35:19you're in luck because tonight we are looking for mr lock-in and we need a judge oh you up for it yep
35:26all right i'll hand you over to johnny number one johnny smacks here we go lads welcome to mr lock-in
35:31up here i have three fine gentlemen uh looking to be crowned mr lock-in uh number one what's your
35:36name where are you from simon from navon you're simon from navon okay and you know there's always a
35:41talent around in these things so what is your talent simon from navon i can put my face in my mouth
35:47you you can put your fist in your mouth yeah would we like to see that that's
35:54simon take it away here we go
35:55i would offer to shake your hand but okay i've got number two here with me number two what's your
36:13name where are you from my name is keen and i'm from kill just outside nice keen from kill okay and
36:18what is your talent keen i can do a little bit of fast maths fast maths okay all right right this could come
36:23in handy what sort of fast maths are we talking about if you go two digit numbers by two digit numbers
36:27i can give you the answer quick enough multiplication kind of yeah all right okay right have we got have
36:32we got some for for keen here let's test them out come out this way clean don't be hiding any two
36:35digit numbers by two digit numbers you call it 26 multiplied by 98 26 by 98 keen
36:44two five four eight john you've got the calculator this is the rt calculator it's all just zero
36:49but i can confirm he is right okay one more one more one more one more 65 by 89 65 by 89 keen 5 785
37:06all right we've got number three here what's your name where are you from i'm finn from monaghan finn
37:23from monaghan brilliant thank you good monaghan crowding tonight they're here they want to see your
37:30talent finn what is it my talent is that i can do a handstand while saying i am cheese in eight languages
37:36right right would you like to see it everyone right here it is lads right through the stage right
37:42begin i'll hold the wallet for you thank you of course we will
37:49oh and it's gone
37:53i'm cheese it's mishikosh it's been case it's been cash it's just we from agio son of from agio soy
37:58queso and yes i'm c those
38:10impressive but if you if you say you can do a handstand you're doing it up against the wall
38:14you're not really doing a handstand
38:15it can say i'm cheese in eight languages it comes down to this who are you going to crown
38:26as mr lock-in with this amazing sash oh you get one of mine okay here we go it's up to you who is
38:32it's going to be it's going to be you i think oh quick
38:48give it up for your 20 25 mr lock and give it up for all our contestants take your rise
38:55there you go thank you for your fair play
39:01do you know what this show never ceases to amaze me
39:03and lads give it up for the rose it's really kellen covered
39:09now let's find out who our next guest is yes we head over to seamus the sheep
39:14who's it going to be seamus
39:17seamus is on the way he's galloping whoa seamus slow down
39:20our mate shane james mclean or russell kane he's going for john mclean i hope it's not john
39:27mclean i think i think it's rossel kane
39:42how are you man i'm very very happy with that result yeah very happy i'm glad rain man won
39:49there was no way she's going to choose someone that could put his fist in his body
39:53no woman's looking for that quite a talent yeah you never know yeah um welcome to ireland thank
39:58you you've been here plenty of times you obviously like ireland yeah i've been about four times this
40:01year for various things i'm always popping over so i live right next to manchester airport so i can
40:05just nick across and have poke around in that okay well i want to try something if i can
40:09yeah do you mind me asking you what age do you think russell is be kind i could get in trouble for
40:14this yeah go on have a guess 30. lads what do you reckon 36 36 30. russell what age are you 50.
40:23yeah how are you doing that 50. you're 50. yeah i just turned 50 in ib i went to ib for my birthday
40:31on a 23 55 we left the hotel for universe i turned legally 50 on the way there straight in the vip
40:37he had it till 6am it was wicked russell we've got a photo of you um now this is either a pizza or the
40:42clown i'm not sure it could be straight off your phone he sent you to the conference john he broke
40:50his forearm looking at that no it all looks a bit snug there russell could you not get a bigger uh hat
40:57that was forever it was for a prank and then my wife snapped that off yeah so now what was about 15
41:02years ago i started to get a bit tired and i thought you know what i like this age sort of 35
41:06how can i stay here so i experimented with all the normal stuff diet and exercise went down the shop
41:11got my burns potatoes and i really uh i started to think about what i was eating i trained like a
41:18boxer really i was speaking to davey earlier and my life is like a sports person really because my
41:23not tonight i was very relaxed what i was just different to what i do on stage this is you relaxed
41:27it was well i'm normally i do 800 calories on stage it's really very frenetic very lots of energy
41:34and i thought i was just getting unfit so i just got into how can i optimize my fitness food diet and
41:39then i started experimenting with weird and wonderful supplements working and at first all my friends
41:43were like hey it's a lot of short you know snake oil now they're all like they're all old men one's
41:48got a stent erectile dysfunction they're fucked and uh i'm still going like a sewing machine in a power
41:55surgeon as well as training looking after yourself you love animals as well you've written a book yeah
42:01pet selector do you want to tell us about that it's for it's for kids it's for like seven to
42:0511 year olds it's like a cat and dog breed guide for children i went this i was at this publisher's
42:10picture they switched the zoom on and i had all these ideas that i thought were clever my cat was on
42:14the my lap now what type of cat is that and i was just being funny like bringing the breed to life and
42:19they went re write that so i did it's a bloody bestseller yeah unbelievable congratulations
42:25well so you can match the animal uh the the personality of an animal to what kind of person
42:35they should be with it's not date or relate again with animals is it it kind of is
42:38a rural irish version we're back to leash where's two jack russell's we're wondering if you could
42:45describe we've got an animal here for you yeah yeah this is gujon who is a five-year-old golden
42:50retriever i mean what kind of person owns a gujon well the person who should own a golden retriever is
42:57someone that likes to walk and someone who's active because a lot of dogs are rehomed because
43:01people get a cockapoo and they live in a flat in dublin or something so i would think a quite active
43:06person that likes walking yeah we've got another dog for you here yeah uh this is ted hastings who's a
43:12four-year-old golden doodle yeah um you know what kind of a person owns him well that would probably
43:17be an old lady or an elderly gay man great we can tell you there are two dogs
43:26nailed it well the question is which johnny owns which dog oh who's been doing more walking
43:36it's impossible to tell isn't it golden retriever yeah that's my gujon yeah golden doodle i am of
43:43course he's going to one he's going to one i am of course i'm heavenly gay man
43:52it's true though like it's on a serious note most of the dogs in the shelters are
43:56rehomed because people can't be asked to walk them and then when i came to ireland when i was when i was
44:01dating this girl they thought i was mental because obviously in london we have all our animals in
44:05the homes they filled me for the guinness in clark and i was out like playing with a dog in the field
44:10they didn't even have a what's its name it doesn't have a name it just works and i was like petting the
44:15cows and shit what's this one called it's 247 he'll be dead on wednesday just go we'd eat in a
44:23fucking sunday roast like that but their grandparents continue to feed you here don't they i don't know
44:28i don't under like i locked myself in the room there's fucking soda bread coming under the door
44:32i'd left with diabetes by the wicked time did you enjoy the irish pop experience then i traveled
44:39all around i didn't just stick to the obvious bits we had all around connemara i did wild camping
44:43on inish boffin i went up to the aran isles i went everywhere man i fucking love this place
44:48everywhere you go people are so friendly at first because you're english it's nerve-wracking because
44:53everyone's fucking horrible back home if they're talking to you they're normally going to steal from
44:56you or stab you um so and it's the same gig in here as well because you'll go on state let's like
45:02tonight man no one no one came to this pub to see me but when you get an irish audience they will
45:06always give you the benefit of the tap down they'll give you the push off even like the me and the
45:11miserable old man it's not my cup of tea but you know fair play here whereas the london audience would
45:15be like let's see what you got dickhead i can think i'm nick grimshaw anyway so don't mind
45:21all right well speaking of being in irish pubs we've got a camera down in portly up for another
45:28bit of dating or related yeah yeah i love this guy okay let's head back to the home of dating or
45:33related it is leash uh we're in portly we're in the vibe bar who do we fancy that's who we going to
45:38zoom in on who we going to get that camera in the white the white one yeah okay davy russell is
45:43directing here we go these two are having a right conversation you know no go back further oh here
45:48we go oh don't say aton but nod your head if you're up for playing a game on the two johnnies yes life
45:56okay what do we reckon lads they were very close caitlin do you know them caitlin doesn't know them
46:03they could be outsiders i think they do look a little bit alike again they could be i'm gonna
46:20i'm gonna double down go related i think they're related to their audience okay they're all saying
46:26related well let's prove it lads are you dating or are you related okay i'll tell you what let's
46:47calm it down lads we've got a treat we have got an absolute three feet at home and for everybody in
46:51the bar as well i can't wait i've been waiting all night for this it's time for some music from the
46:55wonderful dan mccabe
47:05as we gather in the chapel here in no main home jail we think about the last few weeks
47:19oh
47:30oh
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