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The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
#The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
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#The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
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00:00I said
00:02Hello and welcome to the Two Johnny's, Leigh Van Glocken!
00:25There is some crowd in the bar tonight.
00:31Don't worry John, there's just the right amount of people in the bar tonight.
00:34Howdy and Olly, did you count them?
00:36John, if there's three things I'm good at, it's comedy and maths.
00:41Great, let's get on with the show. She's good with both feet lads.
00:44She scores every Sunday.
00:45Because she's a judge and dancing with the stars, it's Karen Byrd!
00:55All right, our next guest has managed Banger, Bohemians, Caroline United, Dublin City,
01:03Shamrock Roberts, Florianna, Cork City, Monaghan United, Athlone Town, Derry City, Waterbury
01:06United and Athlone Town again.
01:08The only club he hasn't managed is coppers, it's Roddy Collins!
01:19Also tonight, hailing from the second best hurling county in Ireland this year.
01:24Do you mean Cork, John?
01:25I do mean Cork, John.
01:26But he's one of our favourite comedians, we'll have stand-up from Cork's Andrew Ryan!
01:39And we're delighted to get them out of Offaly for the day, it's Chasen Abbey!
01:44Now, it's time to find out, who's in the bar?
01:58We're in the bar!
02:00Who's in the bar?
02:01We're in the bar!
02:04Right, where is Sam?
02:07There he is!
02:09He couldn't be any further away!
02:10All right, we're busting on down the back.
02:12Who's Sam?
02:14Sam, what's the crack, how are you?
02:17I'm Grant Sharon, yourself?
02:19Not too bad, where are you from?
02:20Ennis, Clare.
02:21Okay lovely, what's the story, what's your hidden talent?
02:24You'll actually never believe this, but I can play music on my teeth.
02:29It's a bit of a weird one.
02:31I'll say.
02:33Okay, so how did you discover this?
02:35I actually have been the Bulls in Ocean, I've been doing it for years.
02:38I think it stemmed from when I was in school and just like not paying attention when I was supposed to pay attention.
02:42Right.
02:42I just, like a tick or something, I don't know.
02:45Okay, okay.
02:45Well lads, do you want to see it?
02:47Yeah!
02:48Okay, all right, okay.
02:49We're going to need a bit of hush.
02:51Okay, what are you going to, just play it.
02:53Okay, okay, okay.
03:08Right, we all knew that tune.
03:11So if you played one, how about we guess what he's playing?
03:13Guess that tune.
03:14Yeah, it gets the tune?
03:16Okay.
03:16Okay.
03:23American Garrys.
03:24Yay!
03:24Is that it?
03:27Yeah, that's it.
03:27American Garrys.
03:28Did it, did it, did it, did it.
03:29Ah, lovely.
03:31Give it up for Sam, everybody.
03:35Back to Johnny Smacks.
03:36Thank you very much, John.
03:38I'm here with Anne-Marie.
03:38Anne-Marie, how are you?
03:39Where are you from?
03:39Good.
03:40From Mayo, living in Galway.
03:41You're from Mayo and you're, okay, you're living in Galway.
03:43Sorry, sorry, sorry to hear that.
03:44Very to make sure I'm from Mayo.
03:45Anne-Marie, what is your talent tonight?
03:47Um, just a random talent I discovered.
03:50I'm going to try and tie a knot in this.
03:52Tie a knot in, that's a cherry stock.
03:54It is.
03:54Right.
03:55Let's, we want to see Anne-Marie do this?
03:56Yeah!
03:56Come on, Anne-Marie.
03:58I'm looking simple.
03:59Okay, okay.
03:59No butter, you, no butter.
04:01You work away.
04:05Ah.
04:08Weather's nice, let's.
04:09Yeah, that's right.
04:19Oh!
04:20That is incredible.
04:22Right, I'll, d'you know what, d'you know what, I'll give it, I'll give it a go on meself, all right?
04:31Right, one second now.
04:38Whoa, the same bridge is crossed!
04:42D'you know what, I think it's easier than it looks, Anne-Marie.
04:45Give it up for Anne-Marie!
04:46What a talent.
04:52Wow.
04:52Wow.
04:53Right lads, are you ready to meet our first guest?
04:55Yeah!
04:56We cross live to Seamus the Sheep.
05:01Right, who's Seamus the Sheep got for us this week?
05:03It's between Gabriel Byrne, Bertie O'Hearn, or Karen Byrne.
05:09He's giving Bertie a bit of attention there, is he?
05:12It could be.
05:13Not for the first time.
05:14And it's, of course, Karen Byrne!
05:16How are you?
05:29How are you?
05:30Like, I have to say, it's, hi.
05:32It's great, Cracker.
05:33Welcome to the boat, Karen, it's madness, isn't it?
05:35Oh my god, sweet!
05:38Shouldn't have wore this jacket.
05:40Thanks for having me.
05:41You better leave it on now.
05:42You've been dancing since you were six years old.
05:48You're represented in Ireland, but I'm wondering, six years old,
05:52people are doing Irish dancing, they're doing camogie.
05:54How did you pick ballroom?
05:55Do you know, I actually wanted to do Irish dancing,
05:58but my mum was an Irish dancer and she was like,
06:01it's not like it used to be, they wear wigs, they wear all this now.
06:04It's not like you put the rollers in your hair and blah, blah, blah.
06:06And I used to be like, ma, please, I really want to do it.
06:08She wouldn't let me do it.
06:09One day in school, randomly, do you know the way you saw
06:12what I was getting your little things, your notes on for your mum?
06:14It was, it said like, dance classes starting after school,
06:17like ballroom, cha-cha-cha, samba.
06:19And I was like, oh ma, I want to do that.
06:22I've done one class and I was literally addicted.
06:25I was the first one there, the last one leaving.
06:27I'd say I used to wreck the teacher's house.
06:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:30You're from Ballyferma, which is probably not...
06:32I'm from Ballyferma.
06:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%
06:34Come on Ballyferma.
06:35It's probably...
06:35It's probably, like fair to say, it's not well known for ballroom dancing.
06:40I mean, was there loads of lads queuing up?
06:42No, no, no, no.
06:43No, no, no.
06:44No, no, no, no.
06:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
06:47No, hang on, do you know, that's why I loved it.
06:49Yeah.
06:50Because none of me friends, they were all thinking they're cool down hip-hop
06:53while I was waltzing around going, none of the rest of us can do this.
06:56But I imagine the Englands and Ballyferma weren't queuing up around being like,
07:00would the ballroom dance with you, yeah?
07:01Well, they are now.
07:03Yeah.
07:08And it wasn't hard to find a dance partner.
07:09It was hard.
07:10And do you know, right, so when I think back,
07:12this is how we used to find a dance partner years ago.
07:14I said to my ma, I was like, I was getting to about 13, 14,
07:17there was no boys in Ireland that wanted to dance,
07:19because it was seen as like, as you'd imagine, like a non-cool thing.
07:23Yeah, yeah, that's right.
07:24And I said to my ma, it gets on Google.
07:25Thinking back, how my ma allowed this, right?
07:28Went on Google, partner search, I put in.
07:32And do you know, years ago, what you had to do,
07:34you had to put in your details, right?
07:36When I think of it now, I'm probably,
07:37it's probably a bit like a Tinder for dancing.
07:40Like, you had to put in your height, blah, blah, blah.
07:41And basically then, I met this random fella in Liverpool,
07:45and I was like, man, there's a fella same height as me,
07:48and I think we're going to be brilliant dance partners.
07:49And here's my ma, Karen, you live in Ballyferma,
07:52he lives in Liverpool, you're winding me up.
07:53Here's I, Ryanair, we're going to get the flights over once a week,
07:56and blah, blah, and make it work.
07:58I think I was only about 14, 15, and my ma was like,
08:01yeah, no bother, there you go, there's a few balls.
08:03Off you go to Liverpool, to this random family.
08:06Now, the family were lovely.
08:07Yeah, let's have that on record.
08:09And also, sure, I think back,
08:11if I didn't do all that, sure, I wouldn't be dancing.
08:13But how do you go from representing Ireland to dancing with Dez Cahill?
08:20It's different.
08:20I actually, do you know, I don't have an answer to that,
08:22but that was probably the best transition in my life,
08:25because Dez Cahill, oh, I love Dez.
08:28Hi, Dez, if you're watching.
08:29He's a legend, yeah.
08:30He is a legend.
08:31He actually showed me, because I remember walking down,
08:33and you have to know the way you do that cringy wave at the top of the show.
08:35And Dez was like, yeah, Karen, look to the camera with the red light,
08:39and I was like, what's that mean?
08:40He was like, you're live.
08:41I hadn't a clue.
08:42So, like, I taught him dancing, he taught me live telly,
08:45and it was actually the perfect partnership.
08:48But if you're dancing with people who aren't professionals,
08:49trying to do complicated moves, like...
08:51Oh, yeah, backs and bits.
08:52Yeah.
08:53They would drop you, it would never go wrong, Lec.
08:55Oh, it goes wrong all the time.
08:56But, like, of course, if you're on live telly,
08:59and we're doing, like, mad lifts,
09:01the partner's never going to want to drop you.
09:04As a man, do you want to drop a woman?
09:05No, of course you don't.
09:06You're like...
09:07Now, funny you say that, because it does happen.
09:09We have a clip of you actually been dropped.
09:13This is your old dance partner, Jason Smith.
09:15Nice, nice, nice drop there.
09:17Ah, that was mild.
09:18And Shane Byrne, I mean, former professional rugby player,
09:20you think he'd have good hands, but he still managed to drop there.
09:23Come here, they all do.
09:24But you know, I always say before a live show, I'm like,
09:26if you drop me, it's brilliant telly.
09:29Everyone loves watching that.
09:31Do you know what I mean?
09:32Of course, I don't want to be dropped,
09:33but it just calms their nerves.
09:34If I'm like, ah, drop me for the crack, it's grand.
09:38But if you get somebody who, like, just can't dance, how do you...
09:41I haven't had anyone that can dance, only joking.
09:45Can you choreograph your way out of it?
09:46Like, is there a few tricks?
09:47Of course.
09:47We'll just do a few lifts.
09:48Just bluff, I keep shaking, shimmying.
09:51And if you can't, there's some people out there,
09:53can you shimmy?
09:54I don't know, I never tried it.
09:55Go on, show us.
09:55They were dying for me to ask them to do something.
10:01So the answer's no.
10:02It's actually, yeah, it's just, I always think the people at home,
10:06from the waist up, once you're looking like you're having a whale of a time,
10:09I'm sure Mary sitting on that chair doesn't know what the fee should be doing.
10:12Do you know what I mean?
10:14Fluff it, fake it till you make it, that's how I'm still here.
10:16How are you telling?
10:20You went then from dancer to judge, like, there's no more falls there.
10:24Did it all go, did it all go smooth?
10:25I used to look at the judge's table and be like, oh, imagine me sitting there,
10:28wouldn't that be lovely?
10:29And the table was so big, so I used to be like, surely there's space for another chair.
10:33Just squeeze one more in.
10:35Just squeeze me and I bring me own steel with me.
10:38If I can, if I can take you back in time to your first, judging your first live episode,
10:42you were nervous.
10:42I was, and Jake actually said to me, Karen, that yeah, there's, there's nothing,
10:46like, just be yourself.
10:47Yeah.
10:48The worst thing I could have been.
10:50You got, you got pretty, you got pretty nervous when you were judging Mickey Joe hard.
10:53Oh no.
10:54If I'm being honest, it was a bit stiff, Mickey.
10:57But, you know what, that could have been your trousers.
11:00But don't, like, so genuinely, even when I said that,
11:06I was so engrossed with his dance, right?
11:08It was a Paso doble.
11:09Yeah.
11:10It was a bit stiff.
11:11Yeah.
11:12And his name is Mickey.
11:13There was none.
11:14Like, I mean, it could have, that could have been anyone to say that,
11:18and it just happened to be me and my first ever live show as a judge.
11:20He also had a letter of pants on.
11:22I mean, that's.
11:22And why did I have to continue on and say, but it could have been the trousers.
11:26What, like, why was there any need to say that?
11:31And the worst thing about the whole thing was, right, Jake was probably more nervous than I was.
11:35And where I was sitting, I could see him in my eyeline for the whole night.
11:39So that was making me a bit more nervous.
11:41I was like, oh God, I don't want to let you down, Jake.
11:43And as soon as I said that, he was like.
11:47I was like, ah, come here.
11:49So you get people on.
11:50And what's the hardest dance?
11:51What's the, when you hear this?
11:52Right, so the ongoing thing is like people say the Samba is like a celebrity killer.
11:58It is hard because a man doesn't go around bleeding, wiggling his hips and shimmying,
12:01going around the bar, the bar, he's top side to side.
12:04So as soon as you start saying to any man, I don't think I had Samba, thankfully, with Des.
12:09I didn't.
12:10That was on switch up week.
12:11He had Samba with someone else.
12:12I said, Jesus, brilliant.
12:14But why is Samba so hard?
12:16Because it's all about like bounce and I'm moving your hips and your body.
12:24I mean, is there any music in this place?
12:27Can we get a bit of Samba music?
12:28Oh.
12:29What are you doing?
12:45Can you explain the basic steps?
12:47Right, so that's actually, wherever I put that song on, that's very fast.
12:50Right, so we don't normally go that quick, but they're a batch of cards that you would do to that.
12:54I knew it was a batch of cards.
12:57Classic batch of cards.
12:58So you close your feet.
12:59Right, close your feet, lads, I hope you all do with this.
13:00Come on, we all do with it.
13:01Let's, and girls, come on.
13:02Can you take a step back?
13:02Get around the pub, here we go, lads.
13:04Right, okay, listen up, here we go.
13:05So we close our feet and we're going to go back on our right and then left.
13:08So it's literally just back, back and stay up on your toes, wiggling your hips.
13:11So we let you go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
13:16Right.
13:16Not bad.
13:17And then we'll just shake.
13:20You ready for music?
13:21Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on.
13:23But do you reckon, we want people to, we want people to learn to dance.
13:27Oh, you're only on behind the bar.
13:28We want people to learn to dance.
13:29Yeah.
13:29But there probably won't be too much Samba music on in the pub in Tipperary.
13:33Yeah.
13:33Okay.
13:33So can we do this to a song that you might hear in a pub in Ireland?
13:36Oh, we can make it work.
13:37Okay, right, lads.
13:38Kiddit, here we go.
13:39I didn't sign off for wearing this jacket.
14:07I'm absolutely, lads, things are heating up in this bar.
14:11Give it up for Karen Byrne, everybody.
14:17And don't forget, Karen will be on the judging panel at Dancing with the Stars in the new year.
14:22Hopefully.
14:24Hang on, lads, Roddy, you're from a big family.
14:26Very big.
14:27Okay.
14:30Uh, you're a professional dancer?
14:31Yeah.
14:32We've got a game that combines both your talents.
14:35So Ollie, Andrew, you ready for playing along?
14:36Yeah.
14:37Oh, I love games.
14:37Okay, we've got a game that we're calling We Aren't Family.
14:40Yeah, so we've got a camera out in the streets of Galway where all the members of the other
14:45family are dancing to the same tune, but here's the catch.
14:47One person isn't in the family.
14:49Your job is to spot the imposter.
14:51Okay.
14:51Okay, all right.
14:52Let's go live to Galway.
14:53Okay, here we go.
14:57Lads, we've got the DeSantis family.
14:58I feel like I know already.
15:02From one to six, straight away.
15:04Roddy, you're looking at them.
15:05Who do you think is not in the family?
15:09In the family?
15:09Yeah, they're all a family bar one.
15:11That fella number two, he looks a bit wrong.
15:16Andrew, what do you reckon?
15:17Preserved.
15:18Number three, because he looks too happy.
15:22No family is that happy.
15:24Yeah.
15:24Okay, Karen, what do you reckon?
15:25Oh, now you're going close, it's hard.
15:27Yeah.
15:27No, so that's what they look the image.
15:29Yeah.
15:30That fella on the end looks like he's just being plumped there.
15:34It could be him, right.
15:35He looks a bit awkward.
15:36They say the rhythm is in the genes, so let's find out.
15:39We'll get them dancing.
15:40Let's see.
15:40Is this live?
15:41Yeah, this is live in Galway.
15:43Yeah, this is live in Galway.
15:43Okay, right, hit the music.
15:48Oh, I think it's number four.
15:54Who do you reckon?
15:58It's amazing, number four is dancing with his tongue.
16:03Karen, who's not in the family?
16:04Oh, that's so hard.
16:06I tell you, I think number three is American.
16:09Number three looks a bit, yeah, he looks a bit foreign.
16:11Okay.
16:12But so does number one.
16:13That girl looks too jolly compared to the rest of them.
16:15Okay, who's not in the family?
16:17Three.
16:20What do you call it?
16:21What number four do you reckon?
16:22Rodney Rick is four.
16:23I'll tell you what, say or not, because we'll find out after the break.
16:25That she goes all the way.
16:30Party huts.
16:31I'm heading for the tent.
16:42Hey, welcome back to the Two Johnny's Latte Night Lock in!
16:50Now, before the break, we've seen the DeSantos family on the streets of Galway, but one person wasn't actually part of the family, John.
17:01Yes, let's go back to Galway and see, lads, right, looking at the screens.
17:04Who do we think is not part of the family, lads?
17:06What do you reckon?
17:06What number?
17:08Six.
17:10What are we saying?
17:11Okay, okay, moment of truth.
17:12Moment of truth.
17:13We think it's number four.
17:15Some people are saying number six.
17:16Would the real imposter please step forward?
17:20Okay, number four.
17:29What's your name and how do you know the family or have you ever met them before?
17:32My name's Cian and I have no idea who these people are.
17:37Put your hands together and a big thank you to everybody on the streets of Galway.
17:44Now, it's time for some cracking stand-up.
17:48He's the Cork man living in the north and he's one of our favourite comedians.
17:52Everybody go nuts.
17:53It's Andrew Ryan!
17:54Hello, how are we all doing?
18:15Are we all good?
18:16Good to be here, ladies and gentlemen.
18:19My name's Andrew.
18:20It's great to be back in Ireland.
18:21I spent 16 years living over in England.
18:24Moved back home when I got parole.
18:27Loved living over in England.
18:29England was a great place to live.
18:30I'll tell you what happened to me when I was living in England.
18:31Jeez, you couldn't write it, lads.
18:33You couldn't write it, right?
18:34I nearly got married, right?
18:36Nearly married an English one.
18:37Jeez, you couldn't bring it home, lads.
18:39You couldn't.
18:39She was a lovely girl, lovely girl.
18:42Very challenging relationship because she had two kids from, like, previous nights out.
18:50Jeez, you couldn't bring it home to the mother in Cork, like, do you know?
18:54But I'm from Cork now, right?
18:55And I live up the north.
18:56I live in Belfast.
18:57That's where I live.
19:00And people always say to me, like, especially my brothers, I was like, what are you doing up there?
19:04Like, they're mad up there.
19:06And if you know me on a personal level, you know that I'm a massive fan of tension within the community, right?
19:13Absolutely love it up there, lads, right?
19:15It's great crack, right?
19:16Why am I up there?
19:18I'm up there because of a woman.
19:19I was stalking, right?
19:21And she calls me her little baby reindeer.
19:25And, uh, but I won, so it's okay.
19:30That's right.
19:32That's right.
19:34Happy days.
19:35Happy days.
19:36I love it up there.
19:37It's great crack.
19:37Now, when you're from the south and you go on a date with somebody from the north, because we met online, right?
19:41When you're from the south and you go on a date with somebody from the north, right?
19:43Sometimes you can be a bit ignorant to the ways of the north sometimes, right?
19:46And I was on a date with Julie.
19:47We met online, right?
19:48First date, Sunday afternoon.
19:50You don't give them a Saturday night.
19:51They might not look like the picture.
19:53Okay?
19:55Second date, went to the pub, had a few drinks.
19:58All going well.
19:59Lips were loose.
20:00Lips were loose.
20:02Andrew starts asking a couple of questions.
20:05I said, come here.
20:08Which one are you now?
20:11Is it Boxing Day or St. Stephen's Day?
20:13Like, which day is it?
20:15And she went crazy.
20:16She was like, really?
20:17Really?
20:17You want to find out what my identity is, Andrew?
20:19Well, actually, the identity issue in the north is being resolved through the Good Friday Agreement, right?
20:22And I don't like the fact you're coming up from the south listening to the southern media, okay, trying to pitch your ideas of pitching one community versus another community.
20:27When actually both communities here get on really well, it's just extremism on the both sides that actually get on with it.
20:31And I don't like the fact that we're on a second date and I'm trying to get to know you on a personal level.
20:35And I thought, Jesus, feck it.
20:36She's British, like.
20:37She has to be British.
20:38Because if she was Irish, she'd be like, Mayo for Sam or something like that.
20:51I'm like, you'll never see that.
20:54But it's great, right?
20:56So we're together now.
20:57Judy's great.
20:58She's absolutely brilliant, right?
20:58And it was her birthday recently, right?
21:01I'm not going to lie, guys.
21:02Absolutely knocked it out of the park, right?
21:03Knocked it out of the park.
21:04You'd be so proud of me, right?
21:05It's her birthday recently, I thought, what am I going to do?
21:07What am I going to do for her birthday?
21:08I thought, it'd be great, crack.
21:09Do you know what I did?
21:10For her birthday, my girlfriend from Northern, my wife from Northern Ireland, I got her the
21:15Irish passport application, right?
21:17I thought, oh, a little bit of freedom of movement, right?
21:22I thought, oh, and I got her the little card as well, you know, the 60 euro card.
21:25Little touch, little touch, little touch.
21:28Because we were going on a holiday to Greece and I wanted to go on a holiday with her.
21:32I didn't want to pick her up on immigration on the way back, like, do you know what I mean?
21:36So I got her the Irish passport, right?
21:38And I said, there you go, babe, there's your passport.
21:40She's like, oh, no, I've got my Irish identity now.
21:42Got my Irish identity, got my British identity.
21:44Oh, my God.
21:46I've always loved being Irish.
21:48I love boys on.
21:49Big fan of boys on, right?
21:51Oh, I've got my Irish identity, got my British identity.
21:53I've got my two identities now.
21:54I said, yeah, catching up with your personalities.
21:56Look at this.
21:56It's great, isn't it?
21:58Right?
21:58So she's delighted with her Irish identity now, right?
22:02She loves it, right?
22:03So we were at home one day, she was annoying me.
22:06She was still walking around or something like, you know what I mean, right?
22:08So we were at home one day.
22:09I thought, you know what, she's wrecking me head.
22:11Right?
22:12So I decided, two days before we go on holiday, I hid the Irish passport, right?
22:17Hid it on her.
22:17She's walking around the house, panicking.
22:19She says, where's my Irish passport, Andrew?
22:21Where's my Irish adaline?
22:22Can't find me.
22:23I love splitting the G.
22:24Where's my Irish adaline, Andrew?
22:27Day before we're going on holiday, I took it on.
22:28I went, oh, there you go.
22:29She goes, where was it?
22:31I goes, I just hid it on you.
22:32She goes, why is that?
22:33I goes, I wanted you to know what it's like from somebody from the north when your Irish identity
22:36is taken away.
22:37Right?
22:38So there you go.
22:38So, we, we got divorced last week, right?
22:52And, but it's great.
22:54Like, it's really good, right?
22:55She's a lovely girl.
22:56She's the best thing about me, right?
22:57But I don't know, as I get older now, like what happens is like when I'm watching the news
23:01and stuff and I'm sure you're all like this, you turn on the news and you go, ah, turn
23:04it off.
23:05Right?
23:05It's a bit tough, isn't it?
23:06But I tell you something, more, the more I live back in Ireland, the more I love being
23:10Irish, right?
23:10Because we are amazing, right?
23:12Because I worry about us sometimes, right?
23:13Because I worry that, like, can you imagine, no, if we got invaded, lads, I'd be worried,
23:20like, because I don't think we could win a war just on the crack alone, like, do you know
23:25what I mean?
23:25You take some of the biggest armies in the world, right?
23:29You've got the American army, the Chinese army, the Indian army, right?
23:32Absolutely massive armies.
23:34What do we have?
23:36We don't even have a thing called the army.
23:38It's called the defence forces, right?
23:40We'll just defend.
23:41We'll be like, out, the lot of you, out.
23:44Turn around and get out, right?
23:46Get me a chair and put it up against the door there, will you?
23:48Jesus.
23:48It's like trying to give your granny a brandy at Christmas.
23:51She's like, oh, no, will you go away?
23:52Leave me an army now, right?
23:54Now, I'm 100% Irish and I love being Irish, but I tell you something, lads.
23:58Tell you something, lads.
23:59I'll be watching the British telly sometimes and I see the adverts for their army.
24:03Tell you something, lads.
24:05They're sexy.
24:06Like, they turn you like.
24:10Have you seen them?
24:11Can you make split-second decisions?
24:13Do you want to be the best, train with the best, born in England, made in the Royal
24:17Navy?
24:18I'm like, I'll fucking take a bullet for the king, lads.
24:22And his sausage fingers.
24:24I definitely would, lads.
24:27I learned this recently.
24:29Ireland has a navy.
24:33We've seven boats, lads.
24:36Oh, the dictators of the world are shitting themselves now, aren't they, huh?
24:40We have seven ships, seven vessels.
24:43And their job is to go around the island.
24:46To go around the island.
24:47Now, I don't know if they go up the north, right?
24:50I haven't Googled it yet, right?
24:54So, they go three quarters around the island, right?
24:57Or up the...
24:58I'm a cross-community comedian.
25:00Pick your side, lads, right?
25:02And their job, and I didn't know this.
25:04When I go to bed at night on my lovely warm pillow, there's men and women out there on
25:08the water, away from the water, away from their own families, four or five weeks at a time, protecting
25:14our country.
25:15They're away from their own families, riding each other.
25:18Oh, they're all at it, just like the guards and the teachers.
25:23Oh, they love, oh, they live on out in the Atlantic Ocean.
25:34They love it, like.
25:35And they're away from, they're away from, they're away from their own families, protecting
25:41our country.
25:42And I'm at home.
25:43And these people will never let us down if we ever get invaded.
25:46But only in Ireland would this happen.
25:49That one day, on the news, the government announced to the rest of the world that five of the
25:53ships were broken.
25:56What sort of a country announces to the rest of the world that their first line of defence
26:04is broken?
26:05Keep your mouth shut, lads.
26:08Tell them you have a hundred boats and say nothing, right?
26:11I know the UK have a policy to stop the boats.
26:14In Ireland, we can't even feckin' start ours, like, you know.
26:24Ladies and gentlemen, it's been an absolute treat to come to this place and to do this
26:29tonight.
26:29My name's Andrew Ryan.
26:30I wish you the very best.
26:36Yes.
26:37Well done.
26:37Great stuff.
26:38Here I go.
26:39Well done.
26:39Good luck to the guys.
26:44Right, now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the greatest quiz of all time.
26:53It's the Parish Quiz.
26:57Every week, we invite two people on.
27:00We check their local knowledge.
27:01They represent their parish in the parish quiz.
27:03And our first parish this week is from Guidoor in County Donegal and representing them as
27:07Lauren Furry.
27:08Lauren, how are you?
27:09I'm deadly.
27:09How are yourselves?
27:10I'm not too bad.
27:11What do you do with yourself, Lauren?
27:12You're studying, are you?
27:13I'm studying down my nose.
27:14I am going to be a teacher.
27:15You're going to be a teacher.
27:16Have you perfected the teacher debts there?
27:19Yes.
27:20So you walk in, they're all going, a load of transition years going mad.
27:23Oh, no, a primary teacher.
27:24Oh, a primary teacher.
27:25Oh, yeah.
27:25A load of sixth class going mad.
27:26I haven't tackled that yet, but the week's there, I just...
27:31Right, just give him...
27:32Oh, that's...
27:33Yeah.
27:33And have you got, like, your lines ready?
27:35Been like, lads, your life, I don't mind.
27:36I didn't get paid on a Friday.
27:37It doesn't really work half the time, though.
27:39Right.
27:39I hope when I have kids...
27:41You're a bit stronger than that, Lauren.
27:45Tell us, anyway, what's life like in Guidoor?
27:47Deadly.
27:48Obviously, best place on the earth.
27:49It does be hot in the here.
27:50I do love it.
27:51What's the light in the summer?
27:52You've nightclubs...
27:53Oh, summer's the best.
27:54Summer's the best.
27:54Like, to be fair, like, get over to the beach.
27:56You're in the winter.
27:58Yeah.
27:58Summer's the best.
27:59You know, on a summer's day, I'm telling you, sunshine and...
28:01It's fabulous.
28:03Yeah, Johnny's been there.
28:04In some spot, I went to the nightclub and everyone was speaking Irish.
28:06Although, I mean, I think they were speaking Irish.
28:08They could have been speaking German.
28:09I actually met you in the nightclub.
28:11Did you?
28:11Yeah.
28:12Fair play.
28:12Tell on.
28:14Give it up for Lauren, everyone.
28:20Now, our second parish from the county of Galway is Mount Belieu,
28:25and representing them as Michael Connolly.
28:26How are you, Michael?
28:27Mighty known yourselves.
28:30Unbelievable, lad.
28:32What's the story?
28:32What are you doing with yourself?
28:33I'm a postman.
28:35Nice.
28:36Yeah.
28:36Are you in a van or on a bike or what are you?
28:38Out on delivery on the van, yeah.
28:40You're a van man?
28:41Van man.
28:42Which do you prefer, the country or the town?
28:44Oh, the country.
28:44Why?
28:45Oh, so you can talk to people.
28:47Inside in the city, they won't talk to you.
28:48So, when you were doing the rounds, delivering posts,
28:51you'd have a chat with all the lads?
28:52Eh, quite a few of them, yeah.
28:53Right.
28:54What would they be saying to you?
28:55Absolute answer.
28:57The price of cattle, the price of sheep,
28:59did you get the turf in?
29:01Everything.
29:01What do you got?
29:03It must take you 14 hours to deliver the post.
29:08Have air codes revolutionised everything?
29:10No.
29:12So, would you just know where everyone lives?
29:14Oh, you have a good book.
29:15Write all the names into the book and follow that like a Bible.
29:18Right.
29:19Well, Mount Belieu, what else is going on?
29:21You've got a sheep shearing festival there, have you?
29:23Yeah, it's the second year of the European sheep shearing festival.
29:27Contestants from New Zealand, Australia, Scotland, Wales,
29:31all coming into Mount Belieu for the weekend.
29:34Well, how would you describe that weekend?
29:35Raw.
29:39Well, best of luck tonight.
29:41Give it up for Michael, everybody.
29:41OK, it's time to knuckle down with our last time to play the Paris quiz.
29:49We're starting with Guido and Lauren.
29:50Here is your question.
29:53How are you, Lauren?
29:54I'm here with your sister, Ciara.
29:56I'm standing outside Malloy's shop.
29:58And the question for you today is there's a car across the road
30:00in the Guidoar colours.
30:02What make is the car?
30:04Across from Malloy's, I'm wondering if it's the same one they had for the...
30:07See, Guidoar boys are in the county finals,
30:10so I'm wondering if it's the same one that Donegal had for the All-Ireland final,
30:13which was...
30:15Go on.
30:16It's the little...
30:17The cat...
30:18The crap...
30:19It's definitely a cat.
30:19Peugeot.
30:20What?
30:20Peugeot.
30:21A Peugeot.
30:22A Peugeot.
30:23Let's find out if you're right.
30:25And the answer?
30:26It's a Peugeot.
30:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:30You see, it's a permanent.
30:33So, you describe it as...
30:35I don't know if we carry it.
30:39OK.
30:40Michael, are you ready?
30:42Let's go to Mount Belieu for your first question.
30:46Hi, Michael.
30:47Sean here, from Mount Belieu.
30:48I have a question for you.
30:50We have three sheep roaming around here.
30:52Which of these sheep met the New Zealand ambassador
30:54at the sheep shearing festival?
30:58Oh, Lord.
31:00Which sheep met the New Zealand ambassador?
31:02Rainy, snowy or cloudy?
31:04We'll go cloudy.
31:06Why is that?
31:07Picking it off the top of my head.
31:09OK.
31:10All right.
31:10Let's go back to Sean and find out.
31:13And Michael, the answer is...
31:15Snowy, of course.
31:16Ah!
31:19Right, we're back to Gwydor.
31:20Here's your next question, Lauren.
31:22Hello, Lauren.
31:23How are you doing?
31:24This is Father Brian O'Farrie,
31:25the parish priest of Gwydor.
31:26I'm outside Shenog's here.
31:27And as you know,
31:28these luscious locks
31:29have been shaved for charities
31:31on a number of occasions.
31:33One of the nights we had to shave in here,
31:35my question to you, Lauren,
31:36is which Irish celebrity
31:37shaved these locks in Shenog's?
31:40Which Irish celebrity
31:42shaved Father Brian's luscious locks?
31:45I only know this
31:46because I met him on Tory Island after.
31:48It was Tommy Tiernan.
31:49Tommy Tiernan?
31:50I'm hoping,
31:50I'm really hoping now.
31:51I might be wrong.
31:52OK, well, let's find out
31:53if you are right or wrong.
31:55And these luscious locks
31:56were shaved
31:57by the one and only
31:58Tommy Tiernan.
32:08Right, Michael,
32:09you feeling the pressure?
32:10No.
32:10Come back.
32:12Let's go back to Mount Bellew.
32:15Hello, Michael.
32:18Tony here
32:19from the Malthouse Players.
32:21The Malthouse Players
32:21did a very successful
32:23play last May.
32:25What was the name
32:26of that play?
32:28The Malthouse Players.
32:29Come on, Michael,
32:30you're a postman,
32:31you always deliver.
32:32Now I'm not betting you.
32:35What play
32:36did the boys put on?
32:37Oh,
32:38you have me without.
32:39I haven't a clue.
32:41Take a guess.
32:42The Field.
32:43The Field.
32:43The Field.
32:44Right.
32:45And the answer is
32:46The Real McCoy.
32:47The Real McCoy.
32:52You thought it was...
32:54He says to me...
32:56I thought it was Magic Mike, yeah.
32:57Yeah.
32:59You know,
33:00I think a lot less
33:00from the lads, right?
33:01Lauren and Guido,
33:02here's your next question.
33:03Hello, Lauren.
33:06It's Connie here
33:07from Eric of Guido Pet Zoo
33:08in Guidoor.
33:09How much do we charge
33:11for a food bag of animal feed
33:13to go around and feed the animals
33:14while you're at the zoo?
33:16No,
33:16well, you're now at the zoo
33:17in Guidoor,
33:18which I never knew there was.
33:18How much is a bag of animal feed?
33:21Jesus,
33:22I don't know,
33:22like 50 cent?
33:23Euro?
33:2350 cent?
33:24Euro?
33:25Pick one.
33:25Pick one.
33:2750?
33:2850?
33:2850?
33:2975?
33:2950?
33:29I won't have to lock in it.
33:32No, no, no, no.
33:3350.
33:3350 cent, she says.
33:34Let's find out if you're right.
33:36Remember,
33:36if you get this one right,
33:37you are this week's parish quiz winner, Lauren.
33:40Let's find out if you're right.
33:41And the answer is, Lauren,
33:41it's 50 cent a bag.
33:46Good job!
33:48Good job!
33:51Give it up for this week's winner
33:52of the parish quiz,
33:53Lauren Farrell.
33:57Okay, lads,
33:58remember,
33:59you've got two envelopes here.
34:01Right, Lauren?
34:02This is how it works.
34:03Johnny B's holding two envelopes.
34:04In one of those envelopes
34:05is an all-expenses-paid trip
34:06to Las Vegas.
34:09Woo!
34:09Woo!
34:09Woo!
34:10Woo!
34:10Woo!
34:10Woo!
34:10Woo!
34:10Woo!
34:10Woo!
34:11In the other
34:13is
34:14a bag of the aforementioned
34:16animal feed.
34:17A whole 50 cents worth.
34:18What's it going to be, Lauren?
34:19What envelope are you going for?
34:20I don't know.
34:21Do you want to give me a hint?
34:21Just grab one.
34:22You've got to pick one.
34:23You can do it.
34:25I'm going to go for that one.
34:26Okay.
34:27Right, Lauren,
34:28open the envelope.
34:29Let us know.
34:29Good luck, Lauren.
34:30Good luck.
34:30I really hope it.
34:31I really hope it.
34:31I really hope it.
34:31Fingers crossed.
34:32Show the people what you want.
34:34A bag of animal feed.
34:34A bag of animal feed!
34:35Yay!
34:36Yay!
34:36Yay!
34:39Okay,
34:39give it up for Lauren and Michael,
34:40everyone!
34:41Now, still to come,
34:45we will have music from Chase and Abby.
34:47We'll have loads more fun and games.
34:49Join us after a break.
34:49Chase and Abby,
34:50trying some play on us out.
34:51Go on, boys.
34:52Here we go.
34:52Come on, boys.
34:53Go on, boys.
35:00Yeah.
35:01Go on, boys.
35:05Bye.
35:07Bye.
35:10I saw the roses be gone and I sat down.
35:13I had to tell me, Phil, for me left to play a tune.
35:16And in the middle of the tune, she smiled and she said,
35:20Oh, my Johnny, oh, my Johnny, don't you leave me.
35:28Oh, my Johnny, oh, my Johnny.
35:31And in the middle of the tune, she smiled and she said,
35:35Oh, my Johnny, oh, my Johnny, don't you leave me.
35:39Yes!
35:46Hello and welcome back to the two Johnny's late night lock-in.
35:49You played a match at the weekend, didn't you?
35:51I did, lad, tough game.
35:52And you got injured.
35:53Oh, badly.
35:54I heard you were bedridden.
35:55Several times and once in a van.
35:59Oh, right, let's get off of the show.
36:01Now, to choose our next guest, we go live to Seamus the Sheep.
36:05Right, what's Seamus serving up first?
36:07Is it going to be...
36:09Look at Seamus.
36:10He's looking well, isn't he?
36:11Is it going to be Phil Collins, Roddy Collins or Michael Collins?
36:15Michael Collins will be a tough get these days, lads.
36:18Who is it, John?
36:19It is, of course, Roddy Collins!
36:21All right, come on.
36:35Take a seat, take a seat.
36:40How are you, Johnny?
36:41What's the crap?
36:42Welcome to the bar.
36:43How are you?
36:44Thank you very much.
36:45How am I?
36:46Brilliant.
36:47Couldn't be better.
36:48You look lovely and tanned and relaxed.
36:49Are you way?
36:50Tanned and relaxed.
36:51Well, I've a bottle of wine in me, so that's the relaxed thing to do.
36:54And the tan part is I spend the most of my time in Spain.
36:57You're over there a good bit?
36:58A good bit.
36:59People say you're living out there.
37:00No.
37:01Right.
37:02I go out seven months, come back five times.
37:04I'm back out on Tuesday morning.
37:05It's a bit like living there, Roddy.
37:07It's a bit like...
37:08I know, but you have to watch the old tax man.
37:11You don't want the fella with the suitcase knocking at the door.
37:16Like, years ago, when I was a builder, he knocked at the door and he said,
37:20I'm from The Revenue.
37:21I said, are you?
37:22I said, what can I do with you?
37:23He says, I'm looking for 20 grand.
37:25I said, come in and we'll have a good look for that.
37:27Right, and we'd know you as a football man,
37:31as a football manager.
37:32But before you were managing, you played for 19 different clubs.
37:38You played for.
37:39Are you a bit of a...
37:40I didn't even know that.
37:42You got a few bad injuries though, did you?
37:43I did.
37:44I got four broken legs.
37:45Wow.
37:46In my career.
37:47Well, I could go through a list of things.
37:48Were they all your own?
37:49I broke my leg.
37:54Didn't play for three years.
37:56So I lost three years in my career.
37:58Yeah.
37:59And then when I came back, I was struggling to get going again.
38:03Look, three years in football when you're 18 is a lifetime.
38:07They are your years when you're going to make it.
38:09Yeah.
38:10So when I came back, I was struggling to get going again.
38:12I was just playing in the J team at Bowls.
38:14I was coming in at half-time one day and the phone rang in the hall.
38:17It was an extension phone.
38:18Is that what you call it?
38:19Yeah.
38:20I picked it up.
38:21Hello?
38:22How are you doing?
38:23Yeah.
38:24Irish Independent.
38:25Yeah.
38:26What was the score of that game?
38:27I said, yeah.
38:28Trinity College won.
38:29Bohemians 3.
38:30Who was the score?
38:31Collins 3.
38:32No internet.
38:33No way of checking it out.
38:36So I went by that phone every second.
38:38We had Collins 2.
38:39So every Monday morning in the end though, I was walking on building sites.
38:44I was called the goal machine.
38:45So I wasn't scoring goals at all.
38:47But then it went around the whole country.
38:49Did you play with any legends, Nolik?
38:51George Best.
38:52George Best.
38:53But that was when I was 17 at Fulham.
38:57But I only played in and around the training ground.
38:59And he was a superstar.
39:00Yeah.
39:01And I remember being there and getting picked one day in a training session with the crew
39:06of superstars.
39:08And he was my idol as a kid.
39:10From when I was eight, he was on my wall.
39:12Yeah.
39:13And I remember.
39:14You know, when you meet an idol, I don't know.
39:16I didn't know how to cope.
39:17Yeah.
39:18And I was looking at him.
39:19He was like a god.
39:20When we went training, I'm going, I don't know what to call him.
39:23Yeah.
39:24We were all going, bestie, Georgie, Georgie.
39:26And I'm going, bestie.
39:27He looked at me.
39:28Bestie, Georgie.
39:29I went into a bleeding friend.
39:31Bestie, Georgie.
39:32Every ball he got a call from him.
39:34Every ball I got a pass to him.
39:36And then I realised he wasn't even on my team.
39:40So Fulham lasted about 10 days.
39:42I was going to get besties out of here.
39:45But look, yeah.
39:46You mentioned as well, like when you were playing, that you were working on the building sites.
39:49Yeah.
39:50I mean, how was that first of all working on the building sites?
39:54I loved it.
39:55I loved building sites.
39:56But I wanted to be a footballer.
39:57But I remember playing in a European game.
39:59And we played out in Belgium.
40:01And I got off a scaffolding on a Monday.
40:04Right?
40:05And I got on a flight on a Tuesday with the squad.
40:07And we arrived out in Brussels.
40:09Went down.
40:10A big, shiny stadium.
40:1230-odd thousand people there, you know.
40:14Played against this team.
40:15And they battered us out of the ground.
40:17They battered us, right?
40:18And I was a striker.
40:19And I remember the fella be serving me.
40:21I won't name him.
40:22Lazy swine he was.
40:23Michael O'Connor, right?
40:24Anyway.
40:25Michael.
40:26I remember we were playing and they battered us.
40:29And Michael turned to me and he goes,
40:31Oh, jeez.
40:32Well, thanks be to God.
40:33He said, it's eight o'clock.
40:34This is nearly over.
40:35I said, Michael, that's the scoreboard.
40:41Now, I want to know.
40:43How did you go from playing then into management?
40:46I...
40:47I don't know.
40:48I was playing up the north of Ireland up in Bangor.
40:51Where Andrew lives.
40:53Yeah.
40:54Right up in Bangor.
40:55And I just come off the pitch one day.
40:57And I was 33 years of age.
40:58And the chairman called me.
41:00He says, Rod.
41:01The man's not resigning.
41:02Will you take over?
41:03I said, yeah, no problem.
41:04Well, I said, no problem to anything.
41:06No problem.
41:07And then I realised, I never done this before.
41:09I never even stood in front of a crowd before.
41:11Yeah.
41:12Other than in a pub or on a bill so having to crack.
41:14So, mate.
41:15I'll never forget it.
41:16For the whole week,
41:17before I would take over as manager,
41:18I was in the mirror.
41:19That's why they look important.
41:20Doing team talks and all sorts.
41:25Anyway, I arrived up late.
41:26And I walked in and see all you people.
41:29I walked into 20, 40 eyes looking at me.
41:32Yeah.
41:33And I panicked.
41:34And I was in the jacks.
41:35And the wheel was about that size.
41:37And I said, if I could throw out that wheel,
41:38they'd never see me.
41:39Anyway, I turfed it out.
41:41Flight or fight.
41:42Is that what you call it?
41:43Yeah.
41:44Turfed it out.
41:45Blah, blah, blah.
41:46Don't really matter.
41:47I've been very successful at Bowls.
41:48Yeah.
41:49And then I got tapped into a few clubs in England.
41:51And one of them was Carlyle United.
41:52So, when you go in to meet the Carlyle players then,
41:55day one, when you're managing them,
41:56how did you get on with them?
41:57Our first impressions is everything.
41:59In life.
42:00Everything.
42:01You just have to be yourself.
42:02And then, I see, they told me the centre forward's big blondie fella, right?
42:07So, I'm watching them train and they're doing a running session.
42:09This fella's running.
42:10Keeps looking at me and he's running, he's looking at me.
42:12And I went, he's a great attitude.
42:14Hey, big man.
42:15Come here.
42:16Come here.
42:17I said, I like your attitude.
42:18Great, you know.
42:19I said, I was a centre forward.
42:21See you.
42:22I said, you're going to get me 20 goals this season.
42:24I said, we're going to play it simple for you.
42:26Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
42:27Okay, boss.
42:28Okay, boss.
42:29Okay, Garford.
42:30That's all they say.
42:31Yes, yes, yes, yes.
42:32So, I was delighted.
42:33So, we went back off with all the lads.
42:34They're all having a great and great.
42:37And I thought, that's it.
42:38I mean, I went into the reception of the football club and I looked around.
42:41He was a blatant goalkeeper.
42:42There he was standing at the club.
42:46I dug me seven to the biggest hole on my birthday.
42:49But I dug me seven other because we've done all right, you know.
42:52On the sideline then, Rod, were you cool, calm and collected?
42:55Personified.
42:56I don't know if that's entirely true, Roddy.
43:01Have a look at this.
43:02Push on the last one.
43:03Don't stand already.
43:04I'm only fucking telling when it's in the ground for fuck's sake.
43:08I'm telling when it's in the ground and ask me to step back in.
43:09Don't deny me.
43:10Don't fucking deny me.
43:11Where is it?
43:12Where is it?
43:13Where is it?
43:14Where is it?
43:15Where is it?
43:16Where is it?
43:17Where is it?
43:18Oh look, that is it.
43:19Don't start me off now.
43:20Don't start me off.
43:21Yeah, you started it.
43:22Tell your mother on you.
43:23See that?
43:24See that?
43:25That would be classes bullying if I didn't know that kid.
43:30Yeah, yeah.
43:31I knew him.
43:32And he looked about 12.
43:33Looking at your clips when you were managing, you were always well dressed.
43:37Like, was this important to you?
43:38Oh yeah.
43:39Fashion.
43:40Oh yeah.
43:41Oh yeah.
43:42100%.
43:43Not so much fashion.
43:44Presentation.
43:45You know what I mean?
43:46Like, you go into a dressing room and you're pristine and you've grown up early and you've
44:05grown up early and you've done it right and all that players said well he's made a huge effort.
44:09Yeah.
44:10That's the forced thing.
44:11Right, and then the second is Louis Coburn gave him the clause for nothing.
44:14And he's still giving it for nothing.
44:19And when you're getting like immaculately dressed, would Caroline have a say in all your
44:23wife in what you're going to wear?
44:24Yeah, yeah.
44:25She's gorgeous.
44:26No, no, no.
44:27No, no.
44:28No, no.
44:29No, Caroline had said to me years ago, she said to me years ago, where are you going all
44:33dressed up?
44:34You're about to be back here by half eleven.
44:36There's Caroline.
44:37There she is.
44:38Oh no, no.
44:39It's me old pal, yeah.
44:40We're since we're fifteen, you know.
44:41Yeah.
44:42Come here.
44:43Forty-two years you're married.
44:44Forty-two years, yeah.
44:45What's the secret to happy marriage?
44:46Your hair is absolutely gorgeous.
44:48See that dress?
44:50You look brilliant and there's not a pick on you.
44:53Now fellas, trust me, see when you go out and have two drinks?
44:58A booker in the basin.
44:59Right?
45:00You come back, you grovel, you apologise, you take it three days, you're back in the
45:04big bed.
45:05Just come here.
45:06Listen.
45:07What do you want to know, if the Ireland job came up lads, would we give Roddy a twist?
45:14Yay!
45:15Okay, Roddy, Roddy, hang on now.
45:19If you were asked to take the Ireland job, what's the first thing you do?
45:23I'd start winning the game straight away.
45:25How?
45:26How do you?
45:27Well, I'd make them run around a little bit more and I'd make them roll up their sleeves
45:30a little bit more, you know.
45:32And yeah, look, I think the man is there, he's a good tactician and all that.
45:36But I would give Roy Kinghan and Damien Duff that job, if that man leaves.
45:41I like him, I think he's a pure gentleman.
45:43But if he doesn't do it, I'd give to them two lads and I think we'd have a great chance.
45:47Come on, Roddy.
45:48Let's put your hands together for the legend that is Roddy Collins.
45:58Alright, let's play another game of We Aren't Family.
46:01Remember lads, one person out there isn't actually part of the family and your job is to spot the imposter.
46:05Let's go back to the streets of Galway.
46:07Okay, just by looking at him, Roddy, you're part of a big family.
46:10Who jumps out there, who is not in the family?
46:13Four.
46:14Why four?
46:15That's not the mother.
46:16That's not the mother.
46:17That's not the mother.
46:18That's not the mother.
46:19Who do you know, that's not the mother.
46:20Ah, she's...
46:21Andrew, that girl's only 30 years of age.
46:23You haven't seen it.
46:24Four, definitely four.
46:25She's not the mother, no.
46:26Okay, let's get a close up.
46:27It's too tall.
46:28Oh, they're the image there too.
46:29They look alike, yeah.
46:30They look alike, yeah.
46:31Yeah, yeah.
46:32The height.
46:33No, three.
46:34Oh, three or four.
46:35Three is very tall.
46:37Audience.
46:38Five.
46:39Right, Karen, we'll give you a better look.
46:42Let's get them dancing, lads.
46:43Both lads have hands on the pockets.
47:02Five.
47:04Five.
47:05Would the real impostor, please step forward?
47:15I thought she looks so like number one. Number two, what's your name? And do you know this family? Have you ever met them?
47:25You are now Lauren. Go back and meet your family.
47:35Now, unfortunately, that's all we have time for. Give it up for all our guests, for Karen Byrne, for Roddy Collins and for Andrew Ryan.
47:48And now, to pay us out, all the way from County Ufalia, it's Jason Abbey.
47:53Yeah!
48:02Yeah!
48:10Oh, it's just a wish.
48:12Oh, it's just a wish.
48:14Oh, it's just a wish.
48:17Oh, it's just a fish
48:19Oh, it's just a fish
48:21We don't forget what you
48:24They make pictures of burning skies
48:28They bring hell across your life
48:31They bring poison, they bring pain
48:35The stories told us all the same
48:39They're the pissing, they're the pissing, they're the pissing, they're the pissing, they're the pissing
48:47Oh, it's just a fish like a fire in the lava
48:51Oh, it's just a fish like a fire in the lava
48:54Oh, it's just a fish like a fire in the lava
48:58Oh, it's just a fish like a fire in the lava
49:02Oh, it's just a fish
49:04Oh, it's just a fish
49:08We don't forget what you
49:10Oh, it's just a fish
49:12Oh, it's just a fish
49:14Oh, it's just a fish
49:17Can't hold me with my change
49:35Oh this is a goose
49:38Oh this is a goose
49:40Can't hold me with my change
49:42Oh this is a goose
49:44Oh this is a goose
49:46Oh, it's like this
49:47Can't work with my shame
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