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The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
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FunTranscript
00:00MUSIC PLAYS
00:02MUSIC PLAYS
00:04MUSIC CONTINUES
00:06MUSIC CONTINUES
00:08MUSIC CONTINUES
00:10MUSIC CONTINUES
00:12MUSIC CONTINUES
00:14MUSIC CONTINUES
00:16MUSIC CONTINUES
00:18MUSIC CONTINUES
00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22Hello and welcome to the best of the two Johnnies late night blocking!
00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Now there were so many great moments from the last series,
00:37who can forget Margot Robbie giving Johnny B a piggyback?
00:40Ah, the time we bet Ronaldo on headers and volleys!
00:42Yeah, Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter,
00:44remember they did that acoustic version of the guy to scam the rat?
00:47That's right!
00:48But it tells you just how good tonight's show is,
00:50cos none of them made the highlight reel!
00:53LAUGHTER
00:55All right, let's take a look at what did make the cut.
00:57Roll that ten!
00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02Now, it's time to find out who's in the bar!
01:05We're in the bar!
01:07Who's in the bar?
01:08We're in the bar!
01:10I don't know how I learned how to do this,
01:11but I can balance things on my nose and my face.
01:14I can balance pretty much...
01:16pretty much anything, I think.
01:17On your face?
01:18Yeah.
01:19That's showbiz.
01:20Now, now.
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:26You ready?
01:27Go to three!
01:28One, two, three!
01:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:34I put one ear in first...
01:38Oh, my God!
01:39And then another one.
01:40But this is where the real trick happens.
01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:42That's amazing!
01:44I put one ear in first.
01:45Oh, my God!
01:46And then another one.
01:47But this is where the real trick happens.
01:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:51That's amazing!
01:52pięk body clump
01:58I'm going to keep on dancing
02:00at the pięk body clump
02:04I'm going to keep on dancing
02:06down and lust anyone
02:08I'm going to keep on dancing
02:10at the уб音 dwell
02:13Yeah!
02:15Yeah!
02:21Jesus, lads.
02:23What do you say that?
02:25Can you do that? I don't want to put you on the spot.
02:26I don't know. We'll see.
02:27What's your record, lads?
02:30All right, here we go.
02:31What am I bloody down here?
02:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:59I used to...
03:02Fies up.
03:05Now in the moment.
03:07I just can't do both. I can't do both.
03:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:15You, yourself, almost had a career as a pop star.
03:30I did audition for a boy band for Louis Walsh.
03:33Yeah, well...
03:35How did it go?
03:36Yeah, not great.
03:38It was in the pod in Dublin. Do you remember the pod?
03:39Yeah, yeah.
03:40They call my name up and I'm starting to sing
03:42I can show you the world from Aladdin.
03:44Right.
03:45Good song choice.
03:46Up to.
03:48And...
03:49What song choice?
03:50What?
03:51I don't know.
03:52And do you know what? I started to, boy.
03:53I was like...
03:55I started and I went, I'm in trouble.
03:57LAUGHTER
03:59So afterwards, anyway, Louis kept going to me.
04:01Come, I want to get you.
04:02I'm going to put you in a band.
04:03I'm going to put you in a band.
04:04I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
04:05I'm getting all. Brilliant.
04:06After that audition, he took me outside and says,
04:08maybe not this band, but I'm definitely going to work with you in something.
04:11I was like, alright, brilliant.
04:12Thank God, I thought I really messed that up.
04:14He was like, yeah, yeah, no, we'll get you in something.
04:15I really want to do something with you.
04:16I was like, brilliant.
04:17He said, no, we have to get something done with them ears.
04:19LAUGHTER
04:21What?
04:22We have to get something done with them ears.
04:24Your ears?
04:25Yeah, and I was like, I was looking and going,
04:27I'm only 16.
04:28Yeah.
04:29Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
04:30Yeah, sure.
04:31So I went home and I was saying to my ma,
04:33he said I have to get something done with my ears.
04:34I was thinking my ma would say, like, cheeky bastard.
04:37Yeah, yeah.
04:38And my ma went around and said,
04:39do you want to get something done with them?
04:40LAUGHTER
04:42I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me ears?
04:44Last week in York, there was a man playing with himself
04:47up in the stalls of the show.
04:49Shut up.
04:50I know, I was thrilled.
04:51Yeah.
04:54I was absolutely delighted.
04:56I was like, shut up!
04:59Was he hot?
05:00Was he wearing a ring?
05:01What was the crack?
05:02Because that just never happened.
05:03But he was, like, having a little...
05:04Now, I was fed...
05:06I didn't know how...
05:07He was having a little go of himself, I'd say.
05:09What?
05:10He wasn't having a full...
05:11Right.
05:12You know what I mean?
05:13He wasn't full of pepper shit.
05:14No, it was like...
05:15LAUGHTER
05:17Yeah.
05:18It was...
05:19It was a little sprinkling.
05:20What do you say?
05:21A little sprinkling of sorts.
05:22A fondle?
05:23A fondle.
05:24It's like he was playing three blind mice on himself.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27Because then, I didn't know...
05:28Anyway, I saw the footage of it, and it was quite innocent in the end.
05:31OK.
05:32It wasn't the compliment I thought it was.
05:33Ah.
05:34Yeah.
05:35But when he was removed, he just went.
05:36And I was like, that's not that hot.
05:37You should have fought for me, do you know what I mean?
05:39LAUGHTER
05:40I'm like, I want to stay and finish.
05:42Because he's still hot.
05:43He just left.
05:44So that's the closest thing I've had, yeah.
05:46What kind of commitment is that?
05:47I think I'm seeing him now.
05:48LAUGHTER
05:49I think we're going to doubt.
05:51True or false?
05:52Were you the only boy in an all-girls school?
05:54True, yeah.
05:55True, yeah.
05:56True.
05:57Why?
05:58What?
05:59I don't know.
06:00I didn't make up the rules.
06:01Not with me, folks.
06:03I think they just left it so long to put me into a school that there was no, in our
06:08local area, there was no places left, right?
06:10Yeah.
06:11So they had to just get, you have to go to school.
06:13It's law.
06:14Yeah.
06:15And eventually the only school that would take me was the girls' school.
06:18So I went in, so I spent the first seven years of my school with all girls.
06:22In my class and everything.
06:23We have a picture of you here.
06:25Yeah.
06:26Very, very overdrift for a Monday.
06:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:37That was just what I wore to school, you know?
06:39I looked like a little cult leader in that time.
06:42It's like all these little miniature wives that this little cult leader has.
06:47Looking back on it, I was like, no-one's going to want to touch me.
06:50Well, I was wrong.
06:51I didn't know it blew up.
06:53And then they tweet Putin, and it was the worst thing ever.
06:57You tweeted who?
06:58Putin.
06:59Vladimir Putin.
07:00I tweeted and...
07:01What did you say to him?
07:03I just said, hey bro, how much did you pay them?
07:08He's here tonight making that.
07:14I'm not laughing.
07:15Sorry...
07:16...this is, this is...
07:21The 10 for a year or two after that.
07:23Anything about the same versions, I shit myself.
07:25I was like, someone's just going to stick a pen on me or something.
07:28I'm not saying that poison.
07:29What is your record in the long jump?
07:306.32.
07:316.
07:326 metres.
07:336.32.
07:34Right well the reason we're asking that is because, uh...
07:38Earlier, my sevenths max gave it a go.
07:40to go. We didn't know what was a good length and what was a bad length. We've got a video
07:46here of Johnny trying to, do you want to see it? Here we go. Now I just want to say I am
07:56carrying a quad injury, grinds a bit tight. I didn't have the right runners, several
08:03things. Right okay would you do the honours? Can we stand up? Yeah here you go. You can
08:07reveal that, where you are there? Smack's got 1.7. I'll take that. Pretty good. It looks better measured out than it does on the video. Let's have a look and see how Johnny B got on.
08:26He was cheating, he had really good runners on. What did you get John? I did slightly better, I got 2.2. What did you see you got again?
08:376.32. 6.32, okay we're just going to explain that to people, if we can. You jumped. There's 4. There's 5 metres. 6.32 here.
08:52Well I have two dogs, I had two dogs. I've had a three-legged lurcher called Lola for years and then we fostered Mick who has 4 legs and there they are there yeah.
09:09I don't know, I don't know what they're doing.
09:12I don't know what they're doing.
09:19Lola looks happy.
09:21Lola looks happy.
09:22It looks like Lola's going, you gotta earn your place in this house mate.
09:27We know at the same time that say all ye jockeys, you're all in the same way room, you're all like kind of talking out together for want of a better room.
09:33We're literally beside each other.
09:35Can I get spicy in there like? Can I be?
09:37Do you know what I mean? Like I'll be honest like if some lad cut me off now in a corner he'd be, you know.
09:41Yeah there's kind of a code.
09:42Right.
09:43It can get spicy, there'd be a couple of, but really like we're small little lads.
09:48It's kind of, it's kind of a mormon.
09:52Don't do that again.
09:55Why is Samba so hard?
09:56Because it's all about like bouncing and moving your hips and your body here.
10:04Is there any music in this place?
10:06Can we get a bit of Samba music?
10:08Oh!
10:09There we go.
10:10There we go.
10:11There we go.
10:12Can you explain how it's going?
10:13There we go.
10:14There we go.
10:19There we go.
10:24Hang on, hang on.
10:25Hang on.
10:26Could you explain the basic steps?
10:27Right, so that's actually, wherever I put that song on, that's very fast.
10:31Right, so we don't normally go that quick, but there are batch of cards that you would do to that.
10:35I knew it was a batch of card.
10:37Classic batch of card.
10:38Right close your feet, lads, I hope you all do with us.
10:41Come on, we all doing it.
10:42And girls, come on.
10:43Right, okay, listen up, here we go.
10:45So we close our feet and we're gonna go back on our right and then left.
10:48So it's literally just back, back and stay up on your toes, wiggling your hips.
10:52So we literally go, boom, boom, boom, boom.
10:56Right?
10:57Not bad.
10:58And then we'll just shake.
11:00You ready for music?
11:01Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on.
11:03But do you reckon we want people to learn the dance?
11:07Oh, you're doing it behind the bar.
11:08We want people to learn the dance.
11:09Yeah.
11:10But there probably won't be too much samba music on in the pub in Tipperary.
11:12Yeah.
11:13Okay.
11:14So can we do this to a song that you might hear in a pub in Ireland?
11:16Ah, we can make a walk.
11:17Okay, right, lads.
11:18Kiddish!
11:19Here we go.
11:20Come on!
11:25Cool.
11:26No, superats.
11:28We got the band in Ireland.
11:30Ooh!
11:31Woo!
11:38Oh!
11:39Cool, cool!
11:40Hey!
11:41Oh!
11:42Yeah, well, nice y'all.
11:43Whway.
11:44Yeah.
11:45Oke, well, seeing as you are the only real pro presenter here, you do live television all
11:50read the autocue and throw it to the link for us i would love to where am i going down here you see
11:53this screen is on top here here we go okay we have got a camera on the streets of waterford where
11:57everyone tell you absolute
12:03we
12:18we've got a camera on the streets of waterford where everyone smells of cabbage and i'd never
12:23go there because they're all sod busting blighting bog monsters and limerick to know what it is
12:28it's way better also i love the two audience let's have another game of irish or ozzy let's head back to
12:46coogee beach in sydney oh that feels like home in a way doesn't it even just wasn't right so just by
12:53looking at somebody who's this man how are the irish or the australian this man looks so scared
13:00get in on him get in on him oh he's got budgie okay don't say anything man you're live on television
13:07nod your head if you're up for playing a game i think he's got a big irish head in him but he's
13:12australian from the neck down if that's at all possible joanne what do you reckon i agree with
13:18you the pants aren't they they're not no irish man i wear those pants but he does have an irish
13:23head i'm confused audience while you're making irish rosie okay what's your name mate and where
13:31you're from john from ireland
13:36we've got a game that we're calling we aren't family yeah so we've got a camera out in the streets of
13:41galway where all the members of the of the family are dancing to the same tune but here's the catch
13:45one person isn't in the family your job is to spot the imposter okay okay all right let's go live to
13:52galway okay here we go we've got the de santos family i know already from one to six straight away
14:02roddy you're looking at them who do you think is not in the family
14:04the family yeah they're all they're all family bar one i fell on number two he looks a bit right
14:15andrew what do you reckon andrew number three because he looks too happy
14:21no family's that happy yeah okay karen what are you working now you're going close it's hard yeah
14:26no so that's so they look the image yeah that fella on the end looks like he's just being plumped there
14:31yeah it could be him right well karen awkward they say the rhythm is in the genes so let's uh
14:37find out we'll get them dancing let's see is this live yeah yeah this is live in goal
14:41yeah okay right hit the music
14:49oh i'm taking number four
14:53who do you reckon oh it's amazing number four is dancing with his toe
15:01who's not in the family oh that's so hard i tell you i think i think number three is american
15:07number three looks a bit yeah he looks a bit foreign okay but so does number one that girl looks too
15:13jolly compared to the rest of them okay who's not in the family three
15:18what do you call it what number four you reckon
15:20rodney rick is four i'll tell you what say or not because we'll find out after the break
15:27we've seen the santos family on the streets of galway but one person
15:57wasn't actually part of the family john yes let's go back to galway and see lads right looking
16:01at the screens who do we think is not part of the family that's what you reckon what number
16:08what are we saying okay okay moment of truth moment of truth we think it's number four
16:12some people are saying number six would the real imposter please step forward
16:17okay number four what's your name and how do you know the family or have you ever met them before
16:30my name is keaton and i have no idea who these people are put your hands together and a big thank you to
16:36everybody on the streets of galway
16:44we're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous don't let them play outside
16:58why what in case they discover exploration independence problem solving resilience and essential
17:03fucking adult skills and ironically leaving them indoors with the ipad where the paedophiles
17:08actually live by the way on the internet so we find ourselves in an environment
17:17i learned this recently ireland has a navy
17:24we've seven boats lads oh the dictators of the world are shitting themselves now aren't they huh
17:31we have seven ships seven vessels and their job is to go around the island to go around the island
17:38now i don't know if they go up the north right i haven't googled it yet right so they go three
17:45quarters around the island right or up there i'm a cross community comedian pick your side lads right
17:52and their job and i didn't know this when i go to bed at night on my lovely warm pillow there's men and women
17:57out there on the water away from their own families four or five weeks at a time protecting our country
18:05they're away from their own families riding each other
18:11oh they're all at it just like the guards and the teachers
18:13oh they love oh they level out in the atlantic ocean they love it like
18:28and they're away from they're away from away from their own families protecting our country
18:33and i'm at home and these people will never let us down if we ever get invaded but only in ireland
18:38would this happen that one day on the news the government announced to the rest of the world
18:43that five of the ships were broken
18:47what sort of a country announces to the rest of the world
18:52that their first line of defense is broken keep your mouth shut lads
18:58tell them you have a hundred boats and say nothing right
19:02i know the uk have a policy to stop the boats in ireland we can't even feckin start ours like you know
19:13this is the weirdest rt show i have ever done ladies and gentlemen and i just recently did high
19:20road low road for rt1 anybody see it yeah if anybody see it okay you flick a coin two percent
19:24just flick a coin one person gets the high road the high end five star experience the other person gets
19:28a low road and the shite experience high road low road colin murphy and i went to poland colin murphy
19:33got front row tickets to a cold play concert backstage passes and a chance to chat to chris martin
19:39one-on-one for 25 minutes and i got the high road
19:47stayed at home
19:50didn't chat to cold play i am single at the minute
19:53um oh yes meet me at the bar afterwards uh but i think i think i know why i'm single now i think
20:00i figured it out i think it's because i like to think i can change a man
20:05yes the girls over here as well we love a little bit of a project don't we you know the way some men
20:10like to fix cars well i like to fix men i'll look for something on the verge of breaking down and i'll
20:17be like come here to me and then i'll spend two years under that thing making sure it's road worthy
20:25don't worry guys as a comedian you're in safe hands with me i'm very woke unbelievable unbelievable
20:31like even when it comes to the old lgbqta i've got a best friend for every letter i do i've got a
20:38best friend for like lesbian that's my friend jyvonne like g that's my friend brian like t-trans
20:44that's my friend jyvonne again she's great she covers a load of letters for me actually
20:50because she's on the real that one she's great
20:53she doesn't cover asexual at the end people who don't want to have sex but my wife sorts that one
20:57out so it's like you learn a lot when you become a dad the breastfeeding and all that i remember the
21:08very first time ever experiencing it i was there my wife she was trying to feed the baby it wasn't
21:13really working i didn't realize i thought it just would work all the time you know and god bless the
21:17nurses and nurse came into the room and grabbed my wife's breast and my son's head with the elegance
21:23of a builder you know like picking an extension lead out of a puddle i'll get it to work don't
21:29worry and now i kind of thrive on the awkwardness you know i love it like my my uh my wife's dad was
21:37coming to visit when we had the baby and um i could see by the walk on the man when he walked into the
21:42living room that he was going to go for a kiss with the baby and i also knew his daughter was feeding the
21:48baby so i could have stopped him
21:57but i was bored out of my mind you know i said ah this would be good and fair play to him he must
22:03have known when he got to there but he kept going all the way down it was so awkward and then he tried
22:08to make a joke about it which is something i wouldn't recommend to be quite honest with you
22:12because the joke he went for that evening right was uh leave some for me you greedy little
22:17shit yeah we haven't seen him since you know he doesn't am i the only fucker that can see the
22:26obvious link between the decline of drinking alcohol and the rise of celibacy it's fucking obvious
22:33um siobhan and no i don't know how long you've been together 24 years right we don't even need to
22:41check right unless you're muslim or a recovering addict no you were off your tits the first time you got
22:46it on with siobhan there is no there is no there is no other way there is no there is no other way there is
22:53no there is no there is sorry guaranteed well well we know well now now that's guaranteed then i know
23:11we don't even need to check noel do not confirm or do i know for a fact you wouldn't even be here
23:16tonight you never would were it not for alcohol you would not have been created there'd be an empty
23:22space there'd be no rose no i would have had to get to the point where i could see two of you can
23:27i smash one of you it would have been something like that wouldn't it it's bang on thank you
23:33that's it put your chips on my back now well that's it that's it i can feel the vinegar on my chinese
23:39tattoo thank you very much good evening ladies and gentlemen it's time for one of the greatest quizzes
23:50of all time it's the parish quiz
24:09i also heard you're a lifeguard you're a qualified lifeguard yeah technically yeah but i can't swim
24:14all right so you're a lifeguard you can't swim you're aware of what lifeguards do yeah yeah how
24:21who how did you qualify um i did a class in school with about 20 other people and i was the only one
24:27that failed and they felt bad so they passed me in two minutes i'll tell you what i'm being dean if i'm
24:33ever in the river please please just offer me a soup instead or something uh what are you up to yourself
24:38oh doing a bit of milking doing a bit of nursing a bit of nursing a bit of nursing a bit of nursing yeah
24:44the two ends of it you know are you a nurse trying i'm in my i only dropped out once and i didn't drop out
24:53this past two years so i'm doing well now should get on to dean's teacher he'll definitely pass it
25:00and who are you looking or who are you looking for who are you looking for
25:04what are you looking for uh what's going on uh what's going on uh what's going on we love so we're only
25:21about 40 minutes odd from charlie at home so we go back every year so i recognized a few of the faces
25:25when i came in this evening and i know we love it yeah how do you think caitlin is doing oh she's fab
25:29caitlin's a do it yeah such a good guy great answer rosary answer 100 i feel like that you're
25:36sure already do you have a favorite animal i do um snoopy the cow
25:46snoopy the cow now is snoopy just your favorite or is it a pet or what oh it's a pet yeah no uh she
25:52as as a calf and a heifer she used to snoop into her pockets right see what she could find usually
25:57sweets or something you know something good so that's why she got the name snoopy way over that
26:04you're a farmer there's a lot of money in there there's none of that johnny and representing us
26:10is jake kiney how are you jake too bad no what's your name well jake how are you getting on man right
26:15jake kiney how are you wrecked why are you wrecked why are you wrecked why are you wrecked a fair long way up
26:22we're up here every week man come on yeah you could stay home we'd see each other as well
26:28kicking off with john in rossnery here's your question hi johnny congratulations on becoming the
26:33third johnny just to ask you who was the captain of the saint mary's adult team that won the junior
26:40b championship and here's his mother
26:52it's a mirage yeah sorry the man asking the question is standing right there
26:58and then the motor is there
27:01you obviously recognize that woman i do yeah who is it who is it it's mommy
27:06the woman in the video is your mother yeah okay so the answer to the question is uh my brother james lynch
27:19and the answer is james lynch
27:26munter connor we're back to you let's have your next question
27:31well amy connor here i'm with the two fergals you're with the two johnnies
27:34muncheponic last won the junior championship in 1976 against spania our question for you today is
27:42whose cows are those
27:46whose cows are they out the back of the ga field right it is
27:50own brodie's cows own brodie's cows yes right well let's find out if you're right
27:55and the answer is the brodie's
27:57thai we're starting with nerdy here we go here's your question hi thai jillian here from the shop can you
28:08tell us which local farmer sells us these potatoes
28:11no thai that's jillian from the shop no need for first names the shop i like how i like how you're all in nerdy
28:22too much hardship to name the shop it's just a shop uh who produces them spuds
28:27uh john burn john burn okay all right john burn is it let's find out if you're right
28:35and the answer is the burns
28:49okay ashley let's go back to khalidi for your next question
28:53hi ashley margaret and mike here we're here in the shop in nahida and margaret has a question for you
29:00actually what year did my mother open the shop
29:07now that is khalidi's posh and becks margaret and mike
29:12what year did margaret's mother open the shop oh like i think it's the 50s i'm between 53 or 54.
29:19one give it a go 54. 1954. okay let's go back to dexter's laboratory and find out
29:25and the answer is 1953
29:40jake you ready just to go up now let's go to the premier county for our next question
29:45hi jake andy here with firma cool's two hounds but last thursday evening this hound here peppy
29:56had a big birthday party in palmukka your father was there with many others he had a cheesecake
30:01the lads had sponge cake the lads had sponge cake but what age was peppy
30:08okay the question is the question is what age was pepe the dog last week
30:12i wouldn't invite it
30:14i didn't even get to collect the feather
30:16uh that dog's fair old
30:2316. that's a fair age let's go back to andy and find out if you're right
30:28hi jake i hope you got it right or you'll be in trouble the next evening
30:32but mr peppy celebrated his 16th birthday
30:35it's a draw lads which means we need a tiebreaker right can we get davy russell give us a hand with
30:45this tiebreaker davy russle jump in here this this is a tough quiz
30:52it is a tough quiz well you see you're not from those parishes
30:571953 and 1954 do you know what i mean
31:00okay lads so our question is davy russle champion jockey all his life had to be on top of his weight
31:08in order to race our question is now he's retired what weight is he
31:13oh you don't have a weight in time you have a weight skills
31:15no please no
31:16tiger nerney to the nearest kg what weight would you say davy he's laying them up and down
31:24what's your looking time his own his hindquarters have a good look at him now
31:30oh what would you put on him tike
31:33eh
31:34eh
31:36shhh
31:3888 kg 88 kg what's that in all money you don't know i don't know what that is in all money yeah 88 kg
31:45ashley oh it's pure sat in the deck i'd say 85 kg okay she's meant for a little less on 85 well
31:52here's the moment the truth davy jump on that we're back in the way room oh i mean like
31:57with or without clothes
32:00we'll be back after the break
32:02we'll live on the clothes just hop up in it she'll work away yeah okay
32:07including the boots
32:1188 kg which means tiger's the winner
32:14in one of these envelopes is an all expenses paid trip to las vegas
32:33now also in there okay is a bag of spuds from the shop
32:39which envelope are you gonna take tike what's it gonna be in one of them is the trip to vegas and
32:45the others the bag of spuds we're going with this one you're going with that one closest to you okay
32:48tike open her up and let us know dead right bless yourself
32:54hold it up to the camera what have you got what's it going to be a bag of spuds
32:56thanks give it up for clang and ashley
33:08free from desire
33:09mind and senses purify
33:11free from desire
33:13mind and senses purify
33:15free from desire
33:37now ladies and gentlemen you may not know this um we don't like to bring it up too often but
33:42tip one the all-ireland
33:46take that carlo
33:49and tonight in the bar is a very important guest
33:52can i make my way down please if you don't mind ladies and gentlemen
33:56sorry how are you what's your name you're not our guest but thank you
33:59not you nico kenny jersey either lads because if you don't mind right here behind you all all evening has been
34:05deline mccarton
34:12now
34:14tipper airy were lucky enough to win it this year but only 10 counties have ever won the hurling
34:19all-ireland championship and had the chance to climb those hallowed steps and make the famous speech
34:24so we thought we'd let some counties who have never won the all-ireland
34:30some people here in the audience might like to lift it
34:33like i see a whole mix of jerseys uh where are you guys from
34:35i'm baltimore america baltimore have never won it
34:40right is say for example is there anyone here from tyrone
34:44yeah okay let's go have a chat this this this should go well i think
34:54okay who's from tyrone
34:57tyrone have never won the lean mccarty have they that's right i know
35:00well would you like the chance now to lift the cup and make a speech geez i'd love it
35:03okay are you ready so in your own time ready
35:06who would you like to thank
35:14geez i'd like to thank my whole family and all the good people at trillicon especially my uncle
35:18rodney kelly big inspiration
35:23no this is this is unbelievable never thought i'd lift this thing in my life
35:28thanks very much
35:29give it up to ron everybody
35:31yay back to you johnny smacks thank you john now as johnny b said only 10 counties have won
35:40the lee mccarty cup one of those counties have won it since 1998
35:46i am of course talking about awfully uh neil do you remember the summer of 1998. shut your face
35:52yes it was brilliant absolutely brilliant first team to be knocked out and still win it when it got
35:56in the back door the way all awfully people like to do it that sounded weird
36:05i'm from rosgray so right on the border yeah occupied awfully yeah yeah so you know i'm always
36:11kind of giving awfully a ribbon but i think it's it's time that you know we get the lee mccarty
36:15over give it to an awfully man oh yes i think it's only fairness would you like to see neil delamere lift
36:19the lee mccarty cup
36:23for the boys of awfully come on what about carlo
36:29i don't know if i can do this john there's a good chance there's a good chance i may not be able to
36:33show me face around rosgrave for a while but neil delamere you've surely practiced this in the
36:37mirrors the young fella no i knew i was so shy i didn't get anyone here i'd like to thank my uncle
36:42rodney kelly um he's he moved down from tyrone and this is why we won can i do the speech i would
36:50make oh lads it's listen it's customary in this position we want to say hip hip array to the losing
36:56team but it was kilkenny and you can't beat those fuckers by enough so
37:00oh
37:15oh blue it is a lovely colour till it gets the second dip that's the way with the owlands courting you'll
37:22never know when he'll take a fit madam i'm a darling a diro did a row oh madam i'm a darling a diro day
37:29oh madam i have gold and silver madam i have tracks of land madam i have ships in the ocean all i'm
37:37missing is a fine young man madam i'm a darling a diro did a row oh madam i'm a darling a diro day oh
37:44going to the well for water washing it around for to make some tea he fell over i fell under all of the
37:51game was above the name madam i'm a darling a diro did a row oh madam i'm a darling a diro day oh madam
37:59you can tie my garter tie it up above my knee if you want you can tie it further madam i'm a darling a diro
38:07Oh, madam, I'm a darling the diro did a row. Oh, madam. I'm a darling a diro day. Oh, madam
38:13I'm a darling the diro did the row. Oh, madam. I'm a darling the diro day
38:27The personality of an animal to what kind of person they should do it. It's not date or relate again with animals
38:37Jack Russell's
38:39We're wondering if you could describe we've got an animal here for you. Yeah, yeah, this is Goujon who is a five-year-old
38:44Golden retriever. I mean what kind of person owns a Goujon?
38:49Well, the person who should own a golden retriever is someone that likes to walk and someone who's active because a lot of dogs are
38:54Rehomed because people get a cockapoo and they live in a fucking flat
38:58So I would think a quite active person that likes walking. Yeah, we've got another dog for you here. Yeah
39:04This is Ted Hastings who was a four-year-old golden doodle. Yeah, you know
39:09What kind of a person owns him? Well, that would probably be an old lady or an elderly gay man
39:16We can tell you there are two dogs
39:22The question is which Johnny owns which dog? Oh
39:27Who's been doing more walking
39:34I'm a golden retriever. Yeah, that's my Goujon. Yeah golden doodle. I am of course
39:38He's a golden one. He's a golden one. He's a golden one
39:39He's a golden one
39:40I am, of course, an heavenly gamer
39:41I'm a little harsh
39:44So we have a series of pictures which show you at your absolute peak. So we thought we'd play a game. Are you up for this? Yeah
39:51Okay, it's called a game face where you have to tell us which event you are participating in just going from your facial expressions
39:58Let's have a let's have a look at your first picture
40:02It has to be long jump because I always pull the worst faces to long jump surely
40:07You reckon it's long jump? If I do that in any other event, that's really embarrassing
40:11Let's find out if it is long jump
40:21Let's have a look at another photo, okay now
40:23I know it instantly a really big curry
40:31What do you reckon Kate?
40:32Has to be the shot put
40:33The shot put
40:34Has to be
40:35This is me trying to do maths
40:38Right let's find out if it is the shot put
40:40It is
40:45Let's have one more, let's have a look, okay
40:47Erm
40:48I know it again, it's long jump has to be like
40:50Okay, let's have a look, is it the long jump?
40:52Is it the long jump?
40:53It has to be
40:54It is you long jumping over the living
41:00So we are going to show you some pictures
41:02This is the view you would have had when you were riding these horses winning races
41:06Did I? Are these horses that I rode?
41:07Yes
41:08Okay
41:09So let's have a look at horse number one
41:12No way
41:13No way, I didn't ride that horse
41:15It's got a double bridle on, no way
41:17No way, I didn't ride that horse
41:18It's got a double bridle on, no way
41:19So
41:20You did, that's one of yours
41:21You did, that's one of yours
41:22That's one of yours
41:23That's one of yours, yeah
41:24There's no denying it now
41:26I know they don't all look the same when you see the photos
41:29That's one of yours
41:30They don't all look the same from behind Davey
41:35Right Davey, look, you rode this horse, who is it?
41:40Sam Crow
41:41It's Max
41:42Well Davey, let's find out if you're right
41:44It is Sam Crow
41:46That's fucking good
41:48That's amazing
41:49Okay, we've got another one
41:52Yeah, we've got another
41:53Okay Davey, here's a look at horse number two
41:57Now that is, that is, I would say a harder one
42:00Very hairy
42:04No, I
42:06No, you did
42:08They're all horses
42:09We know you
42:10They're all horses you rode
42:11Right, I
42:13I don't know that horse, no
42:15Take a guess
42:16If it's
42:18Field or
42:19It's not Irish Point
42:21Oh, good horse
42:22Yeah
42:24It was my last winner
42:25Yeah, your last winner
42:27Yeah, it was my last winner
42:28Yeah, good horse him
42:29Yeah, okay
42:30He can't hear you
42:31Let's, let's have a look at one more
42:32One more
42:33One more
42:34Ah, the man himself, is it?
42:36What are you saying?
42:37What are you saying?
42:38Is that the tiger?
42:39It is tiger oil
42:40Yeah
42:45What is he?
42:46Good horse
42:47Good horse
42:48Good horse
42:49Your man still gives out about your fashion choices from time to time
42:52I mean, is it fair to say she's trolling you a bit?
42:54When I'm, she is my ultimate troll
42:56I had to ban her from texting me when I'm live on television
43:00Because it was
43:01Oh, stay to your hair
43:02Jesus
43:03Bit heavy with the make-up
43:04Bit heavy with the make-up this morning
43:06Do you think that, do you think that shirt is right?
43:08Oh my god, are you pregnant?
43:09Did you forget to tell me?
43:10And this is just
43:11Wait, in the middle of the show?
43:12In the middle of
43:13In the middle of
43:14Like, it will start at 7 and it will not stop until 10
43:16So I had to ban her
43:17We have some of the messages that your ma'am has sent you
43:19Oh no
43:20She's got out
43:21This is for you
43:22The hair is, the hair is a big page
43:25Can't see your face with your hair
43:26With your hair
43:27Yeah
43:28So this is in the middle of the show
43:29You might shake your forehead to brain
43:307.40 in the morning
43:3120 to 8, I've been on air for 40 minutes
43:33We have another one here
43:34Hair lovely but you're very pale
43:36It's not the time, Mary
43:40We're living in different times, girl
43:41Mary is on fire
43:428.19
43:43We've got another one here
43:44Hate that blouse mirror
43:45Bin bin
43:46Bin bin
43:49And I think this is my personal favourite
43:51Love your jumper
43:53TV3 keep showing your spanks
43:57We've wondered like what it's like to get hit by a professional boxer
44:00Yeah
44:01And thankfully Johnny B has said he's willing
44:03To get hit by a professional boxer
44:07So we
44:11So
44:12I mean
44:13Would you
44:14This one's not that potted
44:16Good
44:17Good
44:18Good
44:19It is
44:20Give it to Nick
44:21Fucking give it to
44:22Are you starting like that, yeah?
44:24Sorry
44:25I'll get it wrong
44:26Is he it?
44:29Is he it?
44:30Is he it?
44:31Is he it?
44:32Is that alright
44:35Why are you going again?
44:40We'll do one more?
44:41You hit me with your bad hand
44:42I appreciate that
44:43Oh!
44:45Oh!
44:57Well, it's only a time for tonight, lads.
45:01Back in the house for the two Johnnies late-night lock-in season finale!
45:07Yeah, yeah, fuck you, yeah!
45:11She'll attack, she'll attack, she's a maniac!
45:17Alright.
45:21Let's do this.
45:27She walked across and down to that line, she was dressed and cute.
45:31She was a sexy lady, she had to get her thrill.
45:35How did she get a hit? How did she know?
45:37Well, the woman needs her to beat the temple.
45:39She walked for that line, she was set for the pride.
45:41She said, greetings!
45:43Hold tight with a new chair, hold tight with a mic in the left hand.
45:45It's made no fun to preach it.
45:47Are you ready now?
45:49It has no meaning.
45:51Are you ready now? Move to the madness.
45:53I'm calling back to you.
45:55We bring this group to you.
45:57Are you ready now?
45:59Are you ready now? Move to the groove.
46:01Put your hands up in the air.
46:03One super question to ask you.
46:05Are you ready?
46:07Are you ready?
46:09Woo-hoo!
46:10Woo-hoo!
46:11Run, run, run!
46:12Woo-hoo!
46:13Run, run, run!
46:14Run, run, run!
46:15All right.
46:16And I think she's a person in the house tonight.
46:19Let's hear you see.
46:20She's a maniac.
46:22She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
46:27And she's dancing.
46:29And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:33Why do you run the two Chinese dance floor?
46:36She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
46:40Sing it!
46:41And she's dancing.
46:42And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:47Audience, we need to pace your time.
46:49She said, put your hands in the air.
46:53Side to side like you just don't care.
46:56Everybody in the house on a party might scream back to me.
47:00I'm the ugly ugly.
47:01Run, run, run!
47:03She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
47:08And she's dancing.
47:10And she's dancing like she never did before.
47:14Don't cry tonight.
47:19A huge thank you to everyone here in Swan's Bar tonight.
47:25And thank you to all of our guests throughout the series.
47:27And thank you at home for watching.
47:28Now for a very special performance from Dan McCabe playing Grace.
47:32See you soon.
47:33Bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:34Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:35Bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:36Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:37Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:38Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:39Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
47:40In the chapel here in Old Main Albany
47:46I think about the last few weeks
47:52Oh, will they save the fame?
47:57From the snow days they have told us
48:00We must earn liberty
48:04We'll hold you up in the staring place
48:10Is the heart you hate with me
48:13Oh, grace, just hold me in your arms
48:21And let this moment linger
48:24You'll take me out of the dark
48:29And I will die
48:31With all my love
48:36I place this wedding ring
48:39Upon your finger
48:41There won't be time
48:44To share and love
48:47We'll be the same
48:49Oh, grace, just hold me in your arms
48:58And let this moment linger
49:01They'll take me out of the dark
49:05And I will die
49:08With all my love
49:13I place this wedding ring
49:16Upon your finger
49:18There won't be time
49:21There won't be time
49:22To share and love
49:24For we say goodbye
49:29There won't be time
49:32To share and love
49:34For we say goodbye
49:37For we say goodbye
49:44To share and love
49:46To share and love
49:48To share and love
49:50To share and love
49:52For we say goodbye
49:54You
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