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The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
#The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
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#The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
#RealityInsightHub
🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️
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FunTranscript
00:00MUSIC CONTINUES
00:02MUSIC CONTINUES
00:24Hello and welcome to the Two Johnny's Late Night Lock-In!
00:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:29Do you know what? Do you know what?
00:31The thing I love most about this show
00:33is working with you, my best friend.
00:35We are so close, man.
00:36I would share my deepest and darkest secrets with you.
00:39There's nothing I wouldn't tell you.
00:40You'd tell us your most embarrassing moment.
00:41Oh, in a heartbeat?
00:42You'd tell us the PIN code to your phone.
00:44Yeah, 6969.
00:47You'd let me see your internet history.
00:49Let's meet tonight's guest!
00:54Right.
00:56Forget about Nolan Lee.
00:57Tonight we've got our favourite Gallagher.
00:59Some might say he's a national treasure.
01:01Good one, lad.
01:02His pranks are going to live forever.
01:04He's half the world away.
01:06No, he's not.
01:07He's only at the bar.
01:08It's PJ Gallagher!
01:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:11As for our next guest, his daddy is Mrs. Brown.
01:19Daddy?
01:20In the show?
01:21No, in the show he's Mrs. Brown's son's mate.
01:23But his dad is Mrs. Brown in real life?
01:26Yeah, yeah.
01:27So who plays Mrs. Brown in the show?
01:30His dad?
01:31Right.
01:32Should we just get on with the show?
01:33Which show?
01:34The show!
01:35Ladies and gentlemen, Danny O'Carroll!
01:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:45And we will also have stand-off for one of Ireland's brightest comedians.
01:48It's Anna Clifford!
01:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:50And we'll have music from Fermanagh's finest heartthrobs.
01:59It's the Tumbling Paddy!
02:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:04Now, it's time to find out who's in the bar?
02:10We're in the bar!
02:12Who's in the bar?
02:13We're in the bar!
02:14We're in the bar!
02:15Right, where is Danny O'Carroll?
02:19He's down here, OK.
02:21He's in the bar!
02:22Danny, can you come down?
02:23I want to talk to this man.
02:24Please, you wouldn't let Danny O'Carroll, he's a big star.
02:26Let him in there, wouldn't you?
02:27Thanks, I'm going to get him down here.
02:28Now, Danny, I know we're going to have a proper chat with you later.
02:31OK.
02:32But at this point of the show, we normally ask the audience
02:34if they have a hidden talent.
02:36But I've heard that you have a hidden talent.
02:39I don't know if I can do that one.
02:40No!
02:41Do you want to see Danny's hidden talent?
02:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:45OK.
02:46What is it?
02:47I don't know how I learned how to do this,
02:50but I can balance things on my nose and my face.
02:52I can balance pretty much, pretty much anything, I think.
02:56On your face.
02:57Yeah.
02:58That's show games.
02:59Now, now.
03:00And it all.
03:02I'm talking about pressure now.
03:04Come on, here.
03:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:11Are you ready?
03:12Get off the tree!
03:14One, two, three!
03:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:21Oh!
03:22Johnny, that can't be out anymore.
03:24Looking up for a second, right?
03:26What was that?
03:27Jesus, lads!
03:28What do you say that?
03:30Can you do that?
03:31I don't want to put you on the spot.
03:32I don't know!
03:33Let's see.
03:34Watch your record, lads.
03:35All right, here we go.
03:36Shh!
03:37What am I bloody down here?
03:38LAUGHTER
03:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:41APPLAUSE
03:42Oh!
03:43Oh!
03:44Oh!
03:45Oh!
03:46Oh!
03:47Oh!
03:48Oh!
03:49Oh!
03:50Oh!
03:51Oh!
03:52Oh!
03:53Oh!
03:54Oh!
03:55Oh!
03:56Oh!
03:57Oh!
03:58Oh!
03:59Oh!
04:00Oh!
04:01Oh!
04:02Oh!
04:03Oh!
04:04Oh!
04:05Oh!
04:06Oh!
04:07Oh!
04:08Oh!
04:09Oh.
04:10Oh!
04:11Oh!
04:12Oh!
04:13Oh!
04:14Don't try this at home!
04:15It takes years of training and professionalism.
04:16Right?
04:17Are we ready to meet our first guest?
04:19Yes!
04:21Let's find out who it is.
04:23Over to Seamus The Sheep.
04:26OK.
04:27It's between PJ Gallagher, a lad from Banahar, or Excalibur.
04:31Excalibur. Right, let's find out who Seamus the Sheep has.
04:33It's going to be a different show if your man from Banner is on, let's tell you.
04:35Seamus, get out, Seamus.
04:37It's only PJ Gallagher!
04:39It's only PJ Gallagher!
04:53PJ, welcome to the bar. How are you, man?
04:57Good, good. Thanks for having me. Good to see you, lads.
05:00We're big fans, man. We're delighted to have you here.
05:02Well, the more you look, the less impressive I get.
05:04So let's get into it. Let me disappoint you gradually, yeah?
05:06Come here, lad. You've done everything from stand-up, radio, television.
05:10Where did it all start?
05:12It was kind of an accident, to be honest.
05:15I was working in a warehouse over 30 years ago with Jason Bourne.
05:20And Jason Bourne always wanted to be a stand-up.
05:22And honestly, I didn't even know what stand-up was at the time.
05:24It was one of them. I thought it was like a guy in a dicky boat
05:26telling a mother-in-law jokes.
05:28And he wanted to do it, but he didn't really have the courage
05:31to just jump into it on his own.
05:33And I was on a bus one day and saw my name on a poster for a stand-up show.
05:36And I was like, what's happening?
05:38And he goes, yeah, you're doing a gig.
05:39Because I'm not doing a gig on my own.
05:40And that was kind of how it started.
05:41No way.
05:42I didn't have any preparation or no nothing.
05:43I just got up and tried five minutes and did sketches with him.
05:46And yeah.
05:47That's his first gig, you'd never done before?
05:48Yeah.
05:49It obviously went well.
05:50It went all right.
05:51It went better than anything else I've ever done.
05:54Because I'm not a very skilled man.
05:56My hands are very ornamental.
05:57They don't really do much.
05:59Yeah.
06:00So thankfully I could tell stories.
06:01I found out I could tell stories.
06:02And then that was it.
06:03That was stand-up on the radio and everything after that.
06:04Amazing.
06:05And like, with the stand-up, you haven't done it in a while.
06:07Would you go back to it?
06:08I mean, I hope not.
06:12Why?
06:13It's terrifying.
06:14Because I never got rid of the stage fright.
06:15I was always...
06:16I spent 20 years cacking myself.
06:1820 years.
06:19You were really good.
06:20You were really successful.
06:21It didn't matter.
06:22I was shitting myself.
06:23It didn't matter.
06:24It didn't matter.
06:25It didn't matter.
06:26I'm now on the radio and I like it.
06:27I really enjoy it.
06:28And I hope I'm good at that too, you know?
06:30And like, Naked Camera, you were the star of that show.
06:33And it has to be one of the best, one of the biggest shows that Ireland has ever produced.
06:36Like, what was it about going on filming on the streets of Ireland?
06:39Yeah, it was great.
06:40But it was a different world then.
06:42Doing Hidden Camera 20 years ago was different.
06:44Because nobody had a camera in their pocket.
06:46So something weird happened.
06:48And they didn't...
06:49Like, now something strange happens and people look for the camera straight away.
06:51Back then, something weird happened and they just thought,
06:53OK, I'm stuck with a dickhead.
06:54And that's all right.
06:57That was something to do.
06:58Do you have a favourite prank that you did in those shows?
07:01Uh...
07:02Yeah.
07:03Honestly, the one that I liked the most was one that didn't work first.
07:06The old man wouldn't sign the release.
07:07It wasn't even me.
07:08It was Patrick.
07:09I've told this story before, but he was...
07:11We went up to him in the zoo and says,
07:13You have to get out.
07:14You're after upset with a gorilla.
07:15And I'm staying with his granddaughter.
07:17He's like, why is it hard?
07:19Yeah, yeah.
07:20Yeah, the gorilla's crying.
07:21And he went, you and did the finger.
07:23And you gave...
07:24He's saying you're getting the finger.
07:25And now he's crying.
07:26You have to get out.
07:27And he goes, I didn't do that.
07:28I mean, you did.
07:29And he goes, that gorilla's a fucking liar.
07:31That was amazing.
07:32And we were like, oh, that's the best liar ever.
07:35And then we told him it was a joke.
07:37And he just says, you're all shite.
07:39But remember, Mike Murphy years ago, it was like that.
07:41And he goes, he was shy as well.
07:43So it was lost and never got it.
07:45No, he wouldn't let you put it on.
07:47No, he wouldn't let us put it on.
07:48Oh, my.
07:49We have a clip here where you've managed to get George Hook into a taxi.
07:53See bells beeping.
07:54See bells beeping.
07:55See bells beeping.
07:56See bells beeping.
07:57See bells beeping.
07:58See bells beeping.
07:59See bells beeping.
08:00Turn right.
08:01Which right is that?
08:02Right.
08:03But this car hears behind me.
08:04Go right.
08:05But that car hears behind me.
08:06Ah, for fuck's sake, go right.
08:08I go down this way.
08:09Oh, Jesus.
08:10Turn left.
08:11Okay.
08:12Left.
08:13Yeah, I'm going up to the right.
08:14Left.
08:15Oh, you didn't know you meant that one.
08:17Left.
08:18Left.
08:19Left.
08:20Left.
08:21Left.
08:22Left.
08:23Left.
08:24Did you ever go left?
08:25Yeah.
08:26He's losing it.
08:27Yeah.
08:28That's a long time ago, man.
08:29That's a very long time ago, yeah.
08:30He's brilliant, though.
08:31There's so much good stuff, innit?
08:32Yeah, we did him dirty, though.
08:33We had him so wound up before he got into the car.
08:34Like, we told him he had to get to the radio station.
08:35There was a minister there and he'd lose his job.
08:36And that's, he keeps saying, I'm going to lose my job.
08:37Yeah, yeah, so.
08:38Yeah, we did him dirty, in fairness.
08:39He was good.
08:40You went from late night TV to the early morning radio.
08:41As you mentioned, you hosted Morning Glory with Jim McCabe on Nova.
08:42Yeah.
08:43I mean, I tuned in.
08:44You were talking about your underpants again.
08:45Can you tell us to people, to anyone who hasn't heard about your underpants?
08:46This is a stupid story in the world.
08:47Obviously, I haven't been to the gym in years, right?
08:48I know.
08:49So one of the last times I went to the gym, I was cleaning up my gear in a rush and there
08:52was a, you know, the guy who's in the gym is like, your body hurts, your body hurts.
08:53You know, he had to lose his job and he kept saying, I'm going to lose his job.
08:54And that's what he keeps saying, I'm going to lose my job.
08:55Yeah, yeah, it's all.
08:56Yeah, we did him dirty, in fairness.
08:57He was good.
08:58You went from late night TV to the early morning radio.
08:59As you mentioned, you hosted Morning Glory with Jim McCabe on Nova.
09:01Yeah.
09:02Again. Can you tell us to anyone who hasn't heard about your underpants?
09:06This is the stupidest story in the world. Obviously I haven't been to the gym in years, right?
09:10So one of the last times I went to the gym, I was cleaning up my gear in a rush
09:14and there was a young lad next to me and I picked up his underpants without knowing it
09:17and took his shorts and I put them all in my bag and he was just staring at me
09:21and I was staring at him and I was nodding at him, you know, thinking what's he staring at
09:26and at the same time I was robbing his undercrackers, right?
09:28So I took his undercrackers and walked out of the gym and it wasn't until I got home
09:32and I was like, oh, that's why he was looking at me.
09:35And so I went on the radio the next day to apologise and says, I have your underpants.
09:38If you want to claim them, come to the radio station and I'll give them back your underpants.
09:42I washed them and all, I still have them.
09:44I've gone through multiple pairs of my old pants but I still have this lad's pants.
09:47Has he claimed them yet?
09:48Never claimed his pants.
09:49Well, look, if you're at home and you're missing what colour with a PJ?
09:52They were blue with like a pink band. Maybe that's why he didn't want them.
09:55Blue with a pink band. If you're at home going,
09:58do you know what? They're my undergarments. Get in touch, let's.
10:01Well, I've been called the Nicker Nicker ever since then.
10:04People are texting me to show every single morning to say,
10:06don't leave your pants safe around him.
10:08Where do you keep them?
10:10With my pants. I mean, I keep them really well.
10:13They're in the pants drawer.
10:16They're in the pant pants.
10:18I don't know why I thought they'd be like, you know, bright glass.
10:21The only pair of underpants I ever stole.
10:24And you're a busy man. You're up early in the morning.
10:27You've got two-year-old twins.
10:29You must be wrecked, PJ.
10:30I am, yeah.
10:31I've actually six kids.
10:32I've got one girl and five lads in the body of a demon.
10:37That's what I have.
10:39Well, you know, like people say,
10:40oh, you wouldn't change it.
10:41There's loads I'd change.
10:43Loads.
10:45Loads you'd change.
10:46It's tough, like, you know.
10:47Do you have to sleep when the twins sleep,
10:49or how does it work?
10:49They don't sleep.
10:51They don't sleep.
10:52It's been two years.
10:53They don't sleep.
10:53My missus is from Boston.
10:54She's been saying,
10:55just two more weeks, baby,
10:56and we're going to get some sleep.
10:57For two years.
10:58For two years, she goes,
11:00just two more weeks.
11:00It's never happened.
11:01It's never happening.
11:04I love your impression of your wife there.
11:05Like you mentioned,
11:06she's from Boston.
11:07She's from Boston, yeah.
11:08And how do you get on with the American family?
11:10They're great, but it's like,
11:11they're coming over now.
11:12They're coming over on Friday, actually.
11:13Right.
11:14And it's kind of like,
11:15three Bill Boers walk into your house.
11:18Because they're not American.
11:19Americans are like,
11:20what is wrong with this baby?
11:21This baby won't shut up.
11:24So it's kind of like,
11:25it's funny, you know.
11:26Like her dad said that once.
11:27He was like,
11:28there's something wrong with that baby.
11:29I was like, I know that.
11:31I know.
11:32We all know that.
11:33We know you love your kids,
11:34but we also read somewhere,
11:35you once said,
11:36that winning a motorbike race
11:38was the best day of your life,
11:39surpassing the birth to your children.
11:41Oh, yeah.
11:41Like, not the best experience
11:44overall, obviously.
11:46But that was just,
11:47yeah, that was, you know,
11:48a lifetime ambition.
11:49I never had an ambition to have kids.
11:51I just ended up having kids.
11:52They're brilliant.
11:53I loved them.
11:54They're amazing.
11:55You know what I mean?
11:56If they're watching this match.
11:57Given the choice of the kids
11:59that are that day now,
12:00of course,
12:00they take the kids now.
12:01But like, you know what I mean?
12:02It was a surprise, you know.
12:05Well, it was a surprise.
12:07I'm going to get killed.
12:09It definitely wasn't a surprise.
12:10Your love of bikes
12:11might have came from
12:12when you had to cycle
12:13to your christening
12:14when you were eight.
12:15Yeah, it's a bit of a weird story,
12:16isn't it?
12:17Yeah, so I had to,
12:18I was adopted and stuff,
12:20so I suppose I was christened,
12:21but I hadn't got,
12:22I had a different name
12:23and we didn't know what the name is.
12:24So then I had to be christened again.
12:25Okay.
12:26And I was seven or eight or something.
12:28And we were just going to go
12:29to the church
12:30and they had me dressed in this,
12:31it was like safari shorts.
12:33I looked like an English hunter,
12:34but only seven.
12:35You know,
12:35like way back in the 1800s,
12:37it was weird looking.
12:38And then me auntie wanted to come
12:40and my dad says,
12:41you cycle down,
12:42we meet you there in the church.
12:46And I didn't know what was happening.
12:47It was the only,
12:48like they didn't tell you
12:49what was going on.
12:49I was like,
12:50what are we doing?
12:50And my dad was like,
12:51don't worry about it.
12:53Don't worry about it.
12:54Don't be thinking about it.
12:55Don't worry about it.
12:55I'll meet you down in the church.
12:56Lock your bike up in the church.
12:58So I had to cycle
12:58to my own christening.
13:00And they were cycling
13:00after me auntie
13:01and me folks in the car.
13:02You didn't know
13:04what was going on
13:05and they were pouring water
13:06on my head
13:06and then me dad said
13:07it was for a sore throat.
13:08It was blazing.
13:10So he was doing the candles
13:11and it was like
13:13a two-foot water deal
13:14that my parents got.
13:16So yeah,
13:16it was the strangest,
13:17strangest day.
13:18That was my family all over.
13:19No one telling anyone
13:20what's going on.
13:21I love that.
13:22And do you also
13:23co-parent a dog?
13:25I do, yeah.
13:26Yeah, I do.
13:26Yeah, with me ex,
13:28Stella the Staffie.
13:29Gorgeous dog.
13:30Yeah, yeah.
13:32And it's,
13:32I love that dog.
13:34But it's like,
13:35you know when you're
13:35co-parenting the dog,
13:37you call up to the dog
13:38and you go out,
13:38it's kind of like
13:39having an affair.
13:40So the dog doesn't,
13:41the dog's too much
13:42for the kids though.
13:43The dog's never around
13:43the kids.
13:44So you call up
13:44and then me and the dog,
13:46we head off together
13:46and no one knows
13:47where we're going.
13:49Do you know what I mean?
13:50We go into the park together
13:51and sometimes we go
13:53into a bush and all.
13:56Do you know what I mean?
13:57And then I drop her home
13:59and I'm like,
13:59see, I love you.
14:01See you next time.
14:02I love you.
14:02See you next week.
14:03And she's like,
14:03yeah,
14:04and we have food together
14:05and snacks
14:06and, you know,
14:06it's very romantic.
14:08And then I see them
14:09the following week,
14:10yeah?
14:10Although I'm 50 now,
14:11so when I walk the dog,
14:12it's actually amazing.
14:13The dog is looking at me
14:13going,
14:14why does this guy piss
14:15all the time?
14:17I have to stop
14:18in more bushes
14:18than the dog.
14:19The dog's like,
14:19look at me going,
14:20would you hurry up?
14:21You know what I mean?
14:22Seriously,
14:22I can't wait all day.
14:25Peter,
14:25that's brilliant.
14:28We've got a very
14:29quick game
14:30we're going to play
14:30with you,
14:31true or false?
14:31It's a very short game,
14:32it's only one question.
14:35So true or false,
14:36were you the only boy
14:37in an all-girls school?
14:39True, yeah.
14:41True.
14:41Why?
14:42I don't know.
14:44I didn't make up the rules.
14:46Now with me,
14:46folks,
14:47I think they just
14:49left it so long
14:50to put me into a school
14:51that there was no,
14:51in our local area
14:52there was no
14:53places left, right?
14:55So you have to just,
14:56you have to go to school,
14:57it's law.
14:58Yeah.
14:59And eventually
14:59the only school
15:00that would take me
15:00was the girls' school.
15:02So I went to,
15:03so I spent the first
15:04seven years in my school
15:05with all girls
15:06in my class and everything.
15:07We have a picture of you here.
15:09Yeah.
15:09Yeah.
15:10Yeah.
15:11Yeah.
15:11Yeah.
15:12Yeah.
15:12Yeah.
15:12Yeah.
15:12Yeah.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Yeah.
15:14Yeah.
15:14Yeah.
15:14Yeah.
15:14Yeah.
15:15Yeah.
15:15Yeah.
15:15Yeah.
15:15Yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:17Yeah.
15:18Yeah.
15:18That was just
15:22when I wore to school.
15:23I looked like
15:25a little cult leader
15:26in that time.
15:26Yeah.
15:27It's like all these
15:28little miniature wives
15:29that this little cult leader
15:31has.
15:31Yeah.
15:32And that's,
15:32that was my Holy Communion
15:33and everything,
15:33you know.
15:34What was it like,
15:35day to day,
15:35what was sports day like?
15:37No,
15:37I loved it.
15:38I absolutely loved it.
15:39I remember going to the,
15:40but when I finally went
15:41to a boys' school,
15:42I was terrified.
15:43I was like,
15:44these things are mental.
15:46Like,
15:46the energy levels,
15:47I couldn't,
15:48I was terrified of the lads
15:49for a while.
15:50I think that's why
15:50still my best friends
15:51are still women today.
15:52Yeah.
15:52Yeah.
15:52Well,
15:53speaking of schools,
15:54you were also played
15:55a principal in Young Offenders.
15:56Yeah.
15:57Yeah.
15:57Which you're brilliant,
15:58Dad.
15:58I don't know how I got on it.
15:59I'm the only smelly dove
16:00in the whole game.
16:02You know,
16:02even though the crew
16:03doesn't know
16:03what they're smelly doves.
16:04It's great,
16:04so.
16:05Well,
16:05look,
16:05we can't wait to see it,
16:06lads.
16:07You all going to tune in
16:07to the new season
16:08Young Offenders?
16:09I'll give you a big round
16:11of applause
16:12for PJ Gallagher.
16:16I'm still laughing.
16:18Now, PJ,
16:19you're a dub,
16:20of course,
16:21and we're going to play
16:22a game of Dubber Kulshie
16:23if you'll join us.
16:24Danny,
16:25Anna,
16:25you'll join us as well?
16:26Yeah.
16:26Glad you know how it is.
16:27We've got a camera
16:28out in the streets of Dublin
16:29and just by looking at people
16:30we have to guess
16:30if they are from Dublin
16:31or are they a big Kulshie.
16:33Okay.
16:34Okay.
16:35Can we go to the man
16:36in the red?
16:36Oh, yes,
16:37the red jumper.
16:38Red jumper, man.
16:39Kulshie.
16:40He's...
16:40Yeah.
16:42Hello,
16:42hello you, sir.
16:43Don't say that
16:44and you're live on telly
16:44with the two Johnnies.
16:45Nod your head
16:46if you want to play a game.
16:47Oh, I don't know.
16:49PJ.
16:50Kulshie.
16:51Kulshie, definitely.
16:51Why?
16:52Because,
16:53see the short jumper combo, man.
16:54The jumper.
16:56That could be a bit
16:57south side though,
16:58as well.
16:58Yeah.
16:59Ah, he could be a teacher.
17:01Oh, yeah,
17:01hold on.
17:02The clant of her.
17:03Shhh.
17:04Yeah, the shears.
17:04Oh, and the shears.
17:07He's got like
17:08a hallmark of this.
17:10I've never seen that.
17:11As soon as PJ
17:11saw his shoes,
17:12I saw the leather shoes
17:14over there.
17:15Okay,
17:15audience,
17:16what do you reckon?
17:17Kulshie.
17:18It's a strong Kulshie.
17:20Let's find out
17:20what's your name
17:21and where are you from?
17:22Name's James McGee.
17:23I'm from Dublin.
17:27Cheers.
17:28You have lovely shoes.
17:29You have lovely shoes.
17:31All right.
17:31Sorry, James.
17:34He's going home to cry.
17:36Oh, my God.
17:37Can we stop this man
17:38with the shopping bag?
17:39Yeah.
17:39Hello, you, sir.
17:40The peacock.
17:41Oh, I...
17:42Hello,
17:44you're live on telly
17:45with the two Johnnies.
17:45Nod your head
17:46if you want to play a game.
17:48Okay.
17:50He's got to be a dub.
17:52Yeah, I think he's a dub.
17:53Yeah.
17:53He's a hipster dub,
17:54is he?
17:54Hipster dub, yeah.
17:55Yeah, stony batter.
17:56Yeah.
17:56Hang on, hang on.
17:57Danny, what do you reckon?
17:57Hang on, Kulshie on this one.
17:58What do you reckon?
17:59No, he's wearing his hat
18:00too, too...
18:01Too down.
18:03A dub,
18:04I'm going to angle it.
18:04He's too straight on,
18:06I think.
18:06What do you reckon,
18:06audience?
18:09Well, lads,
18:09do you know what?
18:10Let's find out after the break.
18:11Whoa!
18:12Think I'm good,
18:14make you feel nice,
18:16give me a love day
18:18all through the night.
18:20Hip, monica,
18:21I wanna keep on dancing
18:24down the dress of Hollywood,
18:26I wanna keep on dancing
18:28down the pin, monica,
18:31hip, monica.
18:32Woo!
18:33Yes!
18:37Welcome back
18:38to the Team Johnny's
18:39Late Night Lock-In.
18:40Now, before the break,
18:41we had our camera
18:41out in the streets of Dublin
18:42and we want to know
18:43if this person was a dub
18:44or a Kulshie.
18:46Here he is, lads.
18:47It's that leather jacket,
18:48woolly jumper combo
18:49that's thrown me.
18:50What do you reckon, lads?
18:51Dub!
18:53I'm saying dub.
18:54All right, man,
18:54what's your name
18:55and where are you from?
18:56I'm Joe
18:56and I'm from Dublin.
18:57Yay!
19:00How are you, Joe, lads?
19:02All right,
19:03now it is time
19:04for some brilliant stand-up.
19:05Everybody,
19:05put your hands together
19:06and go wild
19:07for Anna Clifford!
19:25All right,
19:26everyone,
19:26watch the crackie as well!
19:27Yay!
19:28This is exciting!
19:32I'm delighted to be here.
19:33What a fun night.
19:34My name's Anna.
19:35I'm a big fan
19:36of the two Johnnies.
19:36I'm a big fan
19:37of a lock-in,
19:38so I cleared my calendar
19:39even though I am
19:40in my 30s now,
19:41so I do more
19:42afternoon pints,
19:43to be honest.
19:44I know.
19:45But we have this
19:46great rule in my family,
19:47right?
19:48And it's no drinking
19:49before 12,
19:50but once you finish
19:51primary school,
19:52you can do what you want.
19:52so that's a bit
19:56about me straight away.
19:56It was off the tit
19:57and on the bottle.
19:59And what else
20:00can I tell you about me?
20:01I am from Dublin,
20:01born and raised.
20:03Oh, the doves there.
20:05And I have an Irish da
20:06and an English mother.
20:09I know.
20:10I know.
20:10I know.
20:12And like,
20:12this is what happened
20:13to me when I was younger,
20:13right?
20:13I actually spoke
20:14with an English accent.
20:16I know,
20:17even worse.
20:18And that's not meant
20:18to happen, right?
20:19You're meant to take
20:19on the accent
20:19of your peers
20:20and your area.
20:21So not only in the 90s
20:23did I have an English mam,
20:24but I had no mates.
20:26And up and about
20:27the age of nine,
20:27I just copied
20:28my mam's accent
20:28and then I changed it.
20:30Well, I forced myself
20:31to change it
20:31because I was bullied.
20:32I was teased
20:33quite badly, actually.
20:34You know,
20:34it was quite nasty
20:35just because I sounded
20:35different to all
20:36the kids in school
20:36and that wasn't cool.
20:38And I asked my mam
20:39for some help.
20:39I said, mam,
20:39what do I do?
20:40And she just went,
20:41oh, just tell him
20:42to piss off.
20:44An Irish mam,
20:45like, give him a dig.
20:46I was like,
20:46I'll try it.
20:47I was about this height.
20:48I walked straight
20:49to that bully
20:49and I was like,
20:50piss off, dad.
20:59And he never stopped.
21:00He still calls me a prod.
21:01But it's all love
21:02these days, isn't it?
21:03It's all love.
21:05What else can I tell you about?
21:06I am single at the minute.
21:07Oh, yes.
21:09Meet me at the bar afterwards.
21:12But I think I know
21:13why I'm single now.
21:14I think I figured it out.
21:15I think it's because
21:15I like to think
21:16I can change a man.
21:19Yes, the girls
21:19over here as well.
21:21We love a little bit
21:22of a project, don't we?
21:23You know the way
21:24some men like to fix cars?
21:26Well, I like to fix men.
21:28I'll look for something
21:29on the verge
21:30of breaking down
21:31and I'll be like,
21:31come here to me.
21:33And then I'll spend
21:34two years under that thing
21:36making sure it's roadworthy.
21:39But modern dating is hard,
21:41isn't it?
21:41Modern dating is hard.
21:42It's hard to know
21:42the status of your relationship
21:43these days.
21:44There's so many terms.
21:45Have you all heard
21:46of the term situationship?
21:47Yes, I've been in
21:49far too many of those.
21:51I remember I was seeing
21:51a guy recently here
21:52turned around to me
21:53and he was like,
21:54oh, I wasn't aware
21:56we were actually a thing
21:58and I was living with him.
22:02I kid you not.
22:04I actually think
22:04this is the reason
22:05why we have so much
22:06emigration in Ireland
22:06because men don't have
22:08the emotional capacity
22:09to break up with you
22:09so just leave.
22:10But I love to leave as well.
22:14I love to leave.
22:14I love Ireland
22:15but I do love to leave as well.
22:16I've lived in lots
22:17of different cities
22:17and when I moved to London
22:18for a little bit
22:19I was like,
22:19I'm going to start
22:20something new, right?
22:21I'm going to start
22:21something new
22:21that I would never try
22:22back home
22:22and I started
22:23a pole dancing class.
22:26I know.
22:27I know.
22:27And I remember
22:28I was kind of embarrassed
22:29to tell people
22:29that I was doing that
22:30and then I told my mum
22:31and dad eventually
22:32and they were actually
22:33really proud of me.
22:34Yeah.
22:34I said,
22:35I'm doing pole lessons
22:36and they said,
22:36it's great to get
22:37another language
22:37under your belt.
22:38I think dancing
22:40is a good way
22:41to feel confident, right?
22:42If you're dancing
22:43with someone else
22:43that makes you feel
22:44in your body
22:44it makes you feel sexy
22:45a bit of rhythm
22:46because like,
22:47growing up
22:48I did do a dance class
22:49but it was Irish dancing
22:51our national dance
22:53where I was taught
22:54to keep your arms in
22:56at all times.
22:58Actually,
22:59imagine your arms
23:00have fallen off
23:00and then you do
23:02the slow little move
23:03like you're at the end
23:04of a very slow
23:05moving queue
23:06for the toilet.
23:08And if the person
23:09who wanted to dance
23:10with you,
23:11flirt with you
23:11or get anywhere
23:12close to you
23:13comes near
23:13you just
23:15kick him away.
23:17You just
23:17boot him away.
23:19Get off me
23:19you idiot.
23:21And I actually,
23:22that stays with you
23:22from childhood.
23:23I think that's the reason
23:25why I'm still single.
23:27Because I'm in the pub
23:28and someone might
23:28come towards me
23:29even at this age
23:30and I'm just like
23:31poof.
23:31Now in my defence
23:35I thought that
23:36was giving head
23:36until I was 21.
23:39We don't get
23:39thought ending
23:40right here,
23:40do we?
23:43And I did.
23:44I thought I was
23:44going to meet
23:45someone by now
23:45because I'm in
23:46that era.
23:47I'm in that era
23:47of people's life events
23:49so I thought,
23:49you know,
23:50like if I went
23:50to a wedding
23:50I might say,
23:51you know,
23:51you don't.
23:52Last year
23:53I went to
23:54eight weddings,
23:55six hens
23:56and four baby showers
23:57and I had 52 hangovers.
23:58And that makes no sense
24:00I just drank
24:00every time I got
24:01added to a new
24:01WhatsApp group.
24:02I was like,
24:02no!
24:04I don't have a deposit
24:05for penis Prosecco paint
24:06and I want to own
24:07a house one day!
24:08Like I said,
24:09I'm in that era
24:10of the stags
24:10and the hens
24:11and when I gig
24:11in Dublin an awful lot
24:13I'm always walking
24:13through Temple Bar
24:14and I seen a stag party
24:16the other day,
24:17right?
24:17And they had the stag
24:18dressed up as a giant baby
24:20and I kind of fancied him.
24:23And I know that's really weird
24:24but it's because
24:24he was wearing a nappy.
24:26I was like,
24:27there's a man
24:28I can finally change!
24:30Yeah!
24:33Thank you so much!
24:37Thanks, well done.
24:39Well done, well done.
24:40Give it up for Anna Clifford!
24:46And you can make sure
24:47to check out
24:47Anna Clifford Comedy
24:48on social
24:49for her upcoming
24:50tour information lads.
24:51Now,
24:51now,
24:52ladies and gentlemen,
24:53it's time
24:53for the greatest quiz
24:54of all time.
24:55it's...
24:56The Parish Quiz!
25:01Every week
25:02we invite
25:02to give her on
25:03we test their local knowledge
25:05and they'll represent
25:06their parish
25:06in the parish quiz.
25:07And our first parish
25:08is from Bacon
25:09in County Mayo
25:10and representing them
25:12is Dean McGarry.
25:13Dean, how are you?
25:14I go,
25:14now how are you, lads?
25:15I have to say
25:16first things first,
25:17Dean,
25:17you're looking very sharp, lad.
25:19Look at that.
25:19Lads,
25:20give a round of applause.
25:20He's wearing a suit!
25:25Do you wear a suit
25:25all the time, Dean?
25:27Sorry?
25:27Do you wear a suit
25:28everywhere you go?
25:29No, not really.
25:30I wouldn't wear it
25:30at the pub, no.
25:31Oh, OK.
25:32You're in the pub,
25:33Dino.
25:33Yeah.
25:35No, I work at a suit shop.
25:36You work in a suit shop?
25:37OK, what's the suit shop?
25:39Eddie Murphy menswear.
25:40Oh, Eddie Murphy menswear.
25:42Yeah,
25:42I was given a slogan
25:43to say it,
25:43but I can't remember
25:44what I've written down here.
25:45Go on,
25:45come on.
25:46Is that OK?
25:47Shop at the best
25:49or the best get dressed
25:51where you'll find clothes
25:52for those with more taste
25:53than money.
25:54Open till 10pm
25:55Tuesday, Wednesday.
26:01He's always selling,
26:02he's always selling.
26:03Now,
26:04apart from,
26:04you know,
26:05selling suits
26:06and stuff like that,
26:07I also heard
26:07you're a lifeguard.
26:08You're a qualified lifeguard?
26:09Yeah,
26:10technically,
26:10yeah,
26:11but I can't swim.
26:13Right,
26:14so you're a lifeguard
26:14and you can't swim.
26:15You're aware
26:16of what lifeguards do.
26:17How did you qualify?
26:20I did a class
26:21in school
26:22with about 20 other people
26:23and I was the only one
26:24that failed
26:25and they felt bad
26:26so they passed me
26:27in two minutes.
26:29I'll tell you one thing,
26:30Dean,
26:30if I'm ever in the river,
26:31please, please,
26:32just offer me a suit instead
26:33or something.
26:34I'd much rather the suit.
26:36Lads,
26:36can you give a big round of applause
26:37for Dean from Macon?
26:42Now,
26:44our second parish
26:45from the county of Louth
26:46representing Drummond,
26:48it's Mary Taff.
26:49How are you, Mary?
26:50I'm Mary.
26:52I'm unbelievable.
26:53Unbelievable.
26:55Mary,
26:55what's the crack?
26:56What's going on in Drummond?
26:57Oh, sure,
26:57there's an awful lot going on
26:59in Drummond.
26:59Where can I start?
27:00I don't know.
27:01What are you up to yourself?
27:04Oh,
27:05doing a bit of milking,
27:06doing a bit of nursing.
27:07Bit of milking,
27:07a bit of nursing.
27:08Bit of nursing,
27:09bit of milking,
27:09yeah.
27:10The two ends of it,
27:11you know.
27:13Are you a nurse?
27:15Trying.
27:16I'm in my...
27:17Are you studying to be a nurse?
27:18I only dropped out once
27:18and I didn't drop out
27:19this past two years
27:20so I'm doing well now.
27:21Should get on to Dean's teacher,
27:23he'll definitely pass it.
27:23And who are you milking?
27:27Or who are you milking for?
27:29Who are you milking for?
27:33Pat Callan.
27:34He's a fella up the road from me.
27:36Right.
27:36Milking there
27:37nearly five years,
27:38so.
27:39And what about
27:40the old crack now in Drummond?
27:41There's many pubs.
27:42There's only a pub
27:43on the road really
27:43but like,
27:44it's unreal.
27:45Is it wild?
27:46Oh,
27:46serious.
27:47Especially like,
27:47there's a band
27:48like yourselves,
27:49that's the Fuzzy Burgers.
27:51They're class.
27:51They're unbelievable.
27:53They're unbelievable.
27:53And you've been dancing
27:55the whole line.
27:56Oh,
27:56what couldn't you do?
27:57Honestly going.
28:00Mary Taffy,
28:01everybody.
28:06Okay,
28:06Dean and Mary,
28:07ready to play a parish quiz?
28:08Can't wait.
28:09Okay,
28:09here we go.
28:10We're kicking off.
28:10We're going to County Mayo
28:11to Bacon.
28:12Here's your question.
28:13Dine,
28:13ding,
28:14ding,
28:14ding.
28:15Hello,
28:17Dean.
28:17This is Jerry Carney,
28:19singer,
28:19songwriter,
28:20and your neighbour.
28:22In
28:232010,
28:24I wrote a song
28:25called Paddy,
28:26which went to number
28:26six in the charts.
28:28Can you tell me
28:29what the second D
28:31in the chorus
28:32stands for?
28:33Okay,
28:34um,
28:34Is he a good neighbour,
28:35first of all?
28:36Yeah,
28:36he'd be sound.
28:37You know,
28:37um,
28:37Is he sound enough
28:39that you listen to his music?
28:40Oh,
28:40I listen to Paddy,
28:41yeah,
28:42I think I know it.
28:43Right.
28:43P is for powerful
28:44when put to the test,
28:46A is for always
28:47doing your best,
28:48D is for doing
28:48if it can be done,
28:49and D is for drinking
28:50when working was done.
28:53D is for drinking
28:54when working was done.
28:55Let's find out
28:56if you're right,
28:56Dean.
28:57And the answer is,
28:59D is for drinking
29:00when working was done.
29:03Best of luck,
29:04Dean.
29:09Okay,
29:09Mary Taff,
29:10are you ready?
29:11Ready.
29:11Let's go to Tremaine
29:12for your question.
29:13Hi, Mary.
29:19It's the Fuzzy Buggers
29:19here in the Village Saloon.
29:21You've seen us play
29:22here many times.
29:23Which one of us
29:24likes to play the drums
29:25on every surface
29:26in the bar?
29:30Is it Paul,
29:31is it me,
29:32or is it Brendan?
29:34Who plays the drums
29:35in your local band?
29:37Paul,
29:37me,
29:37or Brendan?
29:39I'm going to have
29:40to go
29:41Paul.
29:42You're going for Paul.
29:43Okay,
29:43let's go back
29:44to the Fuzzy Buggers
29:44and find out.
29:50And the answer is,
29:52Paul!
29:56They're just like
30:01Evice.
30:02Just like,
30:03they're almost
30:03as handsome
30:04as Evice.
30:05Okay,
30:05we're heading back
30:06to Bacon.
30:06Here's your next
30:07question.
30:07Hi, Dean.
30:12Colin Ronan here
30:13from Ronan's Bar
30:14in Bacon.
30:14One of these guys
30:15behind me won
30:16the Tony Kearney Cup
30:17earlier this year.
30:19Could you tell me
30:19which one of them it was?
30:24Incredible
30:24that neither
30:25of them blink.
30:28Which one of them
30:28won the Tony Kearney Cup,
30:30Dean?
30:30I'm terrible
30:32at pooling myself
30:32so I don't really
30:33go down that much
30:33but I think it's
30:34Shane
30:35on the right.
30:37Shane on the right?
30:37Yeah.
30:38Smaller fella.
30:39Okay,
30:39well let's find out
30:40if it is Shane.
30:44And the answer is
30:46Shane Clyde.
30:55All right,
30:56Mary Taff,
30:56are you ready?
30:57Yeah.
30:57Let's go back
30:58to Louth.
31:00Well, Mary,
31:05it's Robbie
31:06and Aoife here
31:07where we have
31:07a quick question
31:08for you.
31:09Who's the last man
31:10to get sent off
31:10for the senior
31:11lads football team?
31:15Okay,
31:16who's the last man
31:17to get sent off
31:17for the senior
31:18footballers?
31:18I was like,
31:18I'll tell you
31:19the last lady.
31:20I didn't want
31:20to shut the screen
31:20there.
31:23What did she do?
31:24Oh, Jesus,
31:25I couldn't tell you
31:26that.
31:26I'd be the next
31:28victim if I told you.
31:30I think I was at
31:32EP that weekend
31:33and they were all
31:33about it.
31:35Is it
31:35Niall Gregory?
31:37Okay,
31:38let's go back to
31:39Edram Inn and find out.
31:40The answer is
31:41Niall Gregory.
31:42We can't select
31:51my sisters here
31:52behind us.
31:53That's his sister.
31:54My dad's dead.
31:55Very proud.
31:56A good day for the
31:57parish.
31:58We're all square lads
31:59at the end of the
32:00parish quiz,
32:01which means we must
32:01go to a tie-break
32:02question.
32:03Lee.
32:04Lee.
32:05Come down here.
32:07This is Lee
32:09from the Tumbling
32:09Paddies.
32:10What I want you to do
32:12is I want you to
32:13guess what age
32:13is Lee?
32:15We're going to start
32:16with you,
32:16Dean and Bacon.
32:17Closest wins.
32:19I think Lee is
32:2029.
32:23Kidding.
32:24Dean is...
32:25Oh, no.
32:26Dean is saying
32:2929.
32:29Mary Taff.
32:30I'm going to say
32:3231.
32:36Lee.
32:37Lee, what age
32:39here?
32:3927.
32:40Oh!
32:43Give it up for Lee
32:44from the Tumbling
32:44Paddies.
32:46Which means...
32:48It means Lee's
32:50going for the
32:50Botox, I'd say.
32:52It means that
32:53Dean is the winner
32:54this week.
32:58There you go.
32:59Dino!
33:00Dino!
33:01Dino!
33:02Dino!
33:03Dino!
33:04Right, Dino.
33:05We have two envelopes.
33:07In one of these
33:08is an all-expenses-paid
33:09trip to Las Vegas.
33:12All right?
33:13In the other one
33:14is a free game of pool
33:16in your local bar.
33:19Choose wisely.
33:19Which envelope
33:20are you going for?
33:21Oh, I really want to go to Vegas.
33:23Best of luck.
33:24This is Las Vegas.
33:25Best of luck.
33:26This is Las Vegas.
33:27You ready?
33:28Yeah.
33:29It's a few.
33:30Right, Dean.
33:31Can you reveal
33:32what is in the envelope?
33:33I hope it's Vegas for you, Dean.
33:34Fingers are crossed.
33:35What have you won?
33:36Around the pool.
33:37Yeah!
33:41Lads, give it up
33:42for Dean and Mary's hat.
33:46This is Nick Widows.
33:47This is Nick Widows.
33:49We'll also have music
33:50from these beautiful lads.
33:51The tumble and paddies behind me, lads.
33:52There'll be loads more cracking games.
33:53Don't go anywhere.
33:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:55MUSIC PLAYS
33:56MUSIC PLAYS
33:57MUSIC PLAYS
33:58MUSIC PLAYS
33:59MUSIC PLAYS
34:00MUSIC PLAYS
34:01MUSIC PLAYS
34:02MUSIC PLAYS
34:03MUSIC CONTINUES
34:04MUSIC CONTINUES
34:05MUSIC CONTINUES
34:06MUSIC CONTINUES
34:07MUSIC CONTINUES
34:08MUSIC CONTINUES
34:09MUSIC CONTINUES
34:10MUSIC CONTINUES
34:11MUSIC CONTINUES
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34:13MUSIC CONTINUES
34:14MUSIC CONTINUES
34:15MUSIC CONTINUES
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34:30MUSIC CONTINUES
34:31MUSIC CONTINUES
34:32So is it going to be Danny from Greece, Danny O'Carroll or Danny Dyer, who's it going to be?
34:38Come on, Seamus.
34:39Get off my own face sheep, you mag.
34:41You mag, get off Danny Dyer.
34:43Of course, it can only be one person, it's Danny O'Carroll!
34:59Danny, how are you, man?
35:00I'm good, I'm so nervous.
35:01I've been warned a hundred times, don't move the stool.
35:05How would I do?
35:06They're expecting you to swallow it or put it on your head or something.
35:09Is that mine?
35:10Yeah, just get stuck in Danny, just get stuck in.
35:13You're part of one of the biggest TV shows Ireland's ever exported, it's unbelievable.
35:17What's that, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
35:19One of the biggest!
35:21So we want to know, how did you get the job?
35:27Do you know what, I didn't have the job at first.
35:29I had to work basically backstage on the shows from when I was 16.
35:33So I didn't get on stage until I was 18.
35:35Wow.
35:36Dad always said, I had to do lights, sound, stage management, build the sets.
35:41And I was, until I knew everybody's job, I wasn't now going on stage because Dad always said that you have to know what everybody does to make you look good.
35:49So when they're all going for pints afterwards, you're...
35:51I'm taking the set down, putting them on drugs.
35:53I'm not doing it now though.
35:55Is Buster like you?
35:59He's not fair off.
36:01He's a career criminal.
36:05He is, yeah.
36:07The worst of the worst.
36:09He's the type of character that would break into a book and lose 50 quid.
36:13But he's a lovable rogue.
36:16Yeah.
36:17Everybody loves himself.
36:18But like, what you've done as a family is amazing.
36:20You're kind of the Sopranos of the Irish comedy scene.
36:23Lots of force.
36:25Well like, do you all always get on?
36:27Are there ever times off screen you're murdering each other?
36:30Well we're not the fucking Waltons, but...
36:36Goodbye Brendan.
36:38Good night Danny.
36:39Night, night Dad.
36:40Fuck off, son.
36:43Now, yeah, listen, we all really do get on.
36:46And film in front of a live audience, like.
36:48Yeah.
36:49Have you ever got the giggles?
36:50Oh.
36:51It's like, I imagine...
36:52Yeah, there's one time...
36:53Jeez, if I think about it now, it makes me full.
36:57We're in the Olympia.
36:58Playing to a full house.
37:00And I remember all the Irish team were in.
37:02There's four big...
37:03I think it was before the Euros or something.
37:04And they were all over in camp.
37:05Over here before they went away.
37:06And they took up all the boxes in the Olympia.
37:08And I'm like...
37:09Football mad.
37:10Looking at the boys in the box going,
37:11Oh my God.
37:12There's Robbie Keane.
37:13He's looking at me.
37:14He's going to hear me doing my joke here.
37:16And...
37:17Second half opened.
37:18It's only myself and Paddy who plays Dermot.
37:20Yeah.
37:21On the stage.
37:22And Paddy's...
37:23Paddy's a bollocks.
37:25LAUGHTER
37:26If I do something slightly different...
37:28And it couldn't be anything until like...
37:29A raised eyebrow.
37:30If I just look at him completely different...
37:32He starts...
37:33Smiling.
37:34He starts getting the giggles.
37:35And when he starts getting the giggles...
37:36I'm like,
37:37Oh shit, don't do this to me.
37:38And I start getting the giggles.
37:39He couldn't get his lines out.
37:41So I tried to...
37:42Then I couldn't get my lines out.
37:43And going back over to him and asking for help.
37:45He's going,
37:46No.
37:47Hang on.
37:48Paddy, please.
37:49And we just got the fit of the giggles.
37:50And the audience were just sitting there looking at us going...
37:52What the fuck's going on?
37:53LAUGHTER
37:54I never wanted to crawl off a stage as quick in my life.
37:57I thought Mrs Brown's voice has got a real alternative.
37:59LAUGHTER
38:00No one just laughs for ten minutes.
38:01It happens.
38:02It is what happens.
38:03It's brilliant.
38:04You're well used to being around famous people as well.
38:06I mean, did you have famous people calling around the gaff when you were young?
38:09Er...
38:11I never had...
38:12Yeah, maybe.
38:13I don't know.
38:14Yeah, maybe.
38:15I remember walking up.
38:16Dad's going for a meeting.
38:17Never told me who it was.
38:18Walking in.
38:19Getting a coffee.
38:20And next minute, Bruce Willis sits down.
38:22Wow.
38:23Wearing a baseball cap.
38:25Nobody has a clue what's going on.
38:27I'm sitting there going, looking at everybody going...
38:29Bruce Willis is right here.
38:31Nobody had a clue.
38:33He was just wearing a baseball cap and he was just genuine.
38:35And he was such a nice guy.
38:36That's unreal.
38:37Yeah, it was just...
38:38Yeah, so I've had things like that happen.
38:40Jean-Claude Van Damme rang the house phone one time.
38:42LAUGHTER
38:43What about by accident or he...?
38:45No.
38:46I thought it was someone acting the bollocks like button.
38:49Did you answer the phone?
38:50Yeah, I answered him.
38:51Hello, can I speak to Brendan, please?
38:53I was like, yeah.
38:54Who's that?
38:55He said, Jean-Claude Van Damme.
38:57I was like, nah.
38:59LAUGHTER
39:03Something caught me, Dad.
39:04I said, Dad, something on the phone.
39:05And he's coming down the stairs.
39:06Who is that?
39:07And I said, some guy saying Jean-Claude Van Damme.
39:09He's like, alright.
39:10And Dad had a clue what Jean-Claude Van Damme is.
39:12I was like, blood-sporting, like, man.
39:14Yeah, yeah.
39:15So I picked up the phone and he's going, yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:17Who are you?
39:18Right, right.
39:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:20And he wanted to talk about writing a script for a movie.
39:22And he hung up the phone and I was like, so who was it?
39:25He was like, Jean-Claude Van Damme.
39:27I was like, no, it wasn't that.
39:28LAUGHTER
39:33I was like, Dad, it's like the biggest, like, I have to show you.
39:36Blood-sport.
39:37Blood-sport right now.
39:38Put it on.
39:39Pick the phone back of John!
39:40John!
39:41John!
39:42Dad, just Dad, it's just all with Dad's hands.
39:44He doesn't care.
39:45Dad's just Dad.
39:46And you yourself almost had a career as a pop star.
39:49I did audition for a boy band for Louis Walsh.
39:52Yeah, well.
39:53How'd it go?
39:54Yeah, not great.
39:56It was in the pod in Dublin.
39:58Do you remember the pod?
39:59Yeah, yeah.
40:00They called my name up and I'm starting to sing,
40:02I can show you the world from Aladdin.
40:03Right.
40:04Good song choice.
40:05Stop tune.
40:06Good song.
40:07And, er...
40:08What song choice?
40:09What?
40:10I don't know.
40:11And do you know what?
40:12I started to, boy.
40:13I was like...
40:14I started and I went, I'm in trouble.
40:16LAUGHTER
40:18So afterwards, anyway, Louis kept going to me.
40:20Come, I want to get you.
40:21I'm going to put you in a band.
40:22I'm going to put you in a band.
40:23I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
40:24I'm getting all brilliant.
40:26After that audition, he took me outside and says,
40:28maybe not this band, but I'm definitely going to work with you in something.
40:31I was like, all right, brilliant.
40:32Oh, thank God.
40:33I really messed that up.
40:34He's like, yeah, yeah, no, we'll get you in something.
40:35I really want to do something.
40:36I was like, brilliant.
40:37He said, now, we have to get something done with them ears.
40:39LAUGHTER
40:41What?
40:42We have to get something done with them ears.
40:44For ears?
40:45Yeah, and I was like...
40:46I was looking and going, I'm only 16.
40:48Yeah.
40:49Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
40:50Yeah, sure.
40:51So I went home and I was saying to my ma, I was saying,
40:53you said I have to get something done with me ears.
40:54I was thinking my ma would say, like, cheeky bastard.
40:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:57My ma turned around and said,
40:58do you want to get something done with them?
40:59LAUGHTER
41:00I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me ears?
41:04LAUGHTER
41:05So, yeah, that was my experience of boy band.
41:08And what happened?
41:10Had nothing.
41:11LAUGHTER
41:12I decided I wasn't getting me ears done.
41:14LAUGHTER
41:15That's amazing.
41:16Yeah, you also took part in Soccer Ed.
41:18Every time I see this, I'm so envious.
41:20So Soccer Ed is football legends and celebrities,
41:22like, and it's for charity.
41:24But the main thing, how do I get on?
41:26LAUGHTER
41:27You have to be a soccer legend or a big celebrity.
41:29Ah, shite.
41:30Do you want Roberto Carlos' number?
41:31You can ask him.
41:32Yeah, so, we have a photo of you and your buddy here.
41:34Roberto.
41:35Roberto Carlos, like...
41:36Yeah, Roberto took a shine to me.
41:38It was so weird, like, he doesn't speak a word of English.
41:41LAUGHTER
41:43So you're this?
41:44But he knew me name.
41:45Yeah.
41:46So, he'd tap me on the shoulder, like,
41:48Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny.
41:50I'd be like, Roberto, I'm talking.
41:51It's not going to be wrong.
41:52LAUGHTER
41:53So, Danny...
41:54So, yeah, he'd keep going.
41:55I smoked and he was the only one that smoked as well,
41:57so he's like...
41:58LAUGHTER
41:59So, after the fourth day, I'm going,
42:01Roberto, you're going to start buying your own fucking cigarettes.
42:04LAUGHTER
42:05It's costing me a fortune.
42:06LAUGHTER
42:07But, yeah, he was a great guy.
42:09He was, like, watching him play football.
42:10Like, even now, watching him play football.
42:12Yeah.
42:13He chose to warm up at me.
42:14Before the game.
42:15I'm like, please, just leave me alone.
42:16He's still smoking.
42:17LAUGHTER
42:18But he did things in the warm-up, bro.
42:20I was just going...
42:21It was...
42:23It was, like, jaw-dropping.
42:25Like, he was solo a ball.
42:26Obviously, he's got an amazing left foot.
42:28And, out of nowhere, he hits the ball straight up.
42:31And, I mean, up here going, oh, he's not getting that.
42:34No, it doesn't even take a touch.
42:36Immediately, straight up, bang, straight up again.
42:38And he did it, like, eight times in a row.
42:40Oh.
42:41Straight play, straight play.
42:42Down to the field.
42:43And then he passed me the ball.
42:44And I was going...
42:45P.J., would you fancy the bit of soccer in?
42:52Me?
42:53Yeah.
42:54I definitely don't fancy standing next to Roberto Carlos.
42:57LAUGHTER
42:58Not only is he a more talented man.
42:59He's an awful lot better-looking.
43:00I look like when someone drew a face in a balloon.
43:02I can't stand next to him.
43:03LAUGHTER
43:05Like, it's amazing to be hanging around.
43:08Who's on your team?
43:09Was you saying both there?
43:10Yeah, yeah.
43:11Both.
43:12The three years I played in that year.
43:13Is he any good?
43:14Yeah, he's all right.
43:15I beat him in the race.
43:16LAUGHTER
43:17Over how many yards?
43:18What kind of race?
43:19I swear to God, I'm not kidding you.
43:20No, it was around...
43:21I heard him...
43:22He's great at running straight.
43:24Put a bend in there.
43:25You've done him.
43:26Come on, Danny.
43:27We're all wearing them.
43:28Yay!
43:29We're all wearing them.
43:31There's no GPS thing to wear.
43:32Yeah.
43:33So...
43:34They all...
43:35You're wearing the GPS when you're doing all your trainings.
43:37You're training all week with the team.
43:38And...
43:39After the first day,
43:40I could've went home.
43:41That was me.
43:42I was delighted.
43:43They hung up the results of the GPS from the day before.
43:45And on top of it was...
43:47Daniel Carroll sprints.
43:48Behind it.
43:49Bolt.
43:50I just went...
43:51Taking that home.
43:52LAUGHTER
43:53And he didn't like me taking it.
43:54He was like, what are you taking that for?
43:55I was like...
43:56Pffft!
43:57LAUGHTER
43:58Good luck, you.
43:59Get that in me bag.
44:00So I still have it in the house.
44:01So I take it...
44:02Show the kids everything on again.
44:03LAUGHTER
44:04Well, apart from that,
44:05you've got a new show coming out.
44:06Shedites.
44:07Yeah.
44:08So we'll start filming.
44:09Is it about sheds or what is it?
44:10It's about...
44:12I don't know if you all know about man sheds that are popping up all over the country.
44:16Yeah, the men's shed.
44:17Yeah.
44:18Got a photo here.
44:19Yeah, that's the man shed that we have.
44:21We look forward to seeing that on the TV in December.
44:24Brilliant.
44:25Brilliant.
44:26Well, that's...
44:27We look forward to seeing the twos, Danny.
44:29The very best of luck with that.
44:30Give it up for Daniel Carroll.
44:31CHEERING
44:32Danny.
44:33Are you up for a game of Dubberkulchi?
44:34Double kulchi.
44:35Double kulchi.
44:36Double kulchi.
44:37Double kulchi.
44:38Double kulchi.
44:39Double kulchi.
44:40Double kulchi.
44:41We are the double kulchis.
44:42Right, let's head back to the streets of Dublin.
44:44Let's have one more rattle of Dubberkulchi.
44:45Aha, PJ up for.
44:46Is that a mullet I see?
44:47Get in on him straight away.
44:48This lumberjack straight away.
44:49You, sir.
44:50Cactus Jack.
44:51Hello, sir.
44:52Don't say that.
44:53You're live on telly with the two Johnnies.
44:54Nod your head if you're up for playing a game.
44:56I'll tell you what, I'll eat my shoes if he's not from the country.
44:58Danny.
44:59Can I see the holder?
45:00He looks rustic.
45:01Can we see the footwear?
45:02Yeah.
45:03Yeah.
45:04Ohhhh.
45:05PJ, them runners are very clean.
45:06Yeah.
45:07Runners have shown me on.
45:09I see the footwear on.
45:10I see the footwear.
45:11Yeah.
45:12Ohhhh.
45:13That's a good one.
45:14Ohhhhh.
45:15Ohhhh.
45:16Ohhhh.
45:17Ohhhh.
45:18Ohhhh.
45:19Ohhhhhhhh.
45:20Ohhhh.
45:21Ohhhh.
45:22Ohhhh.
45:23Ohhhh.
45:24Ohhhh.
45:25Ohhhh.
45:26Ohhhh.
45:27My brothers have shown me, I have to be honest.
45:29I was hoping for some brown brogues, but they didn't come.
45:31Yeah, I know, it's not there.
45:33Right, lads, audience, what do you reckon? Dub or Kulshy?
45:37Anna Clifford, what do you reckon? Kulshy this time, maybe?
45:39You're thinking Kulshy? I'm going to be honest, lads,
45:41I'm thinking the same. Let's find out. What's your name?
45:43Where are you from?
45:45My name is Dan, and I'm from Dublin.
45:54Shit, I tell you, this game never ceases. It's amazing.
45:56I think I know everyone.
45:58There's a man in a very fancy blue jacket here,
46:00with the shorts and the black bag.
46:02Yes, yes.
46:04Here we go.
46:06Hello, sir, you're live on telly with the two Johnnies,
46:09nod your head if you want to play a game.
46:11OK, OK.
46:13Now, he looks like he's been skiing.
46:17Anna, what do you reckon, Dub or Kulshy?
46:19I think Dub.
46:21Kulshy's taking those sunglasses off.
46:24Hang on, shut up.
46:26I think Dub, yeah.
46:27Why?
46:28I think the jacket, he got that.
46:30Hang on, hang on.
46:31Definitely, definitely.
46:32American.
46:33Go back down to the shopping bag.
46:34Back down to the shopping bag, please, if we can.
46:36He's American.
46:37Is that an American football?
46:38He's American.
46:39Wait a second.
46:41That's real throwing me off now.
46:43PJ.
46:45This is tough, yeah.
46:47I'm gonna say Dub.
46:49I'm gonna say Dub.
46:50No way.
46:51He's not Irish.
46:52He's not Irish.
46:53Is that Irish?
46:54New category, foreigner.
46:56I'm a partner.
46:59Right.
47:02Let's find out what's your name, where are you from?
47:06My name is Max, and obviously I'm a Dub.
47:09I'm a Dub.
47:10I didn't say no.
47:11I didn't say no.
47:12I didn't say no.
47:13I didn't say no.
47:14I didn't say no.
47:15I didn't say no.
47:16I didn't say no.
47:17Put your hands together.
47:18A big thanks to everybody on the streets of Dub.
47:20Now, unfortunately, unfortunately that's all we have time for lads.
47:28A big thank you to all our guests.
47:29To Danny O'Carroll, PJ Gallagher, and Anna Clifford.
47:36These boys have been waiting patiently all night lads.
47:39They're about to blow the roof off this place you've been warned.
47:42Put your hands together.
47:43It's the Tumbling Paddy!
47:58When the words slip down and pass and cast no heed to what I say.
48:02I hope you come to your senses.
48:05I sense that something's wrong.
48:07You might have thought that I was mean, but I couldn't mean it that way.
48:12You're the love that matters.
48:14I knew all along my whole world was shattered.
48:18I hope this love stays stronger.
48:20You're the love that matters.
48:24You're the love that matters to me.
48:45Two days was too long before, but now you long for time alone.
48:50When I couldn't wait and get outside the door, but now the cover's blown.
48:55I'm on a boat that's hard to see, but now the tide has changed.
48:59I know you know the score, cause I can't say it anymore.
49:03Oh!
49:04You're the love that matters.
49:06I knew all along my whole world would shatter.
49:10I hope this love stays strong.
49:12You're the love that matters.
49:15I knew all along my whole world would shatter.
49:19I hope this love stays strong.
49:21Cause you're the love that matters.
49:25You're the love that matters to me.
49:31Manners to me.
49:34Oh!
49:35Oh!
49:36Woo!
49:38Woo!
49:39Woo!
49:40Woo!
49:42Woo!
49:43Woo!
49:44Woo!
49:45Woo!
49:46Woo!
49:46Woo!
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