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The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In
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FunTranscript
00:00Welcome to the Two Johnnies
00:29John, John, I'm getting a bit emotional to be honest
00:37Oh man, are you emotional? Are you emotional because it's the last show?
00:42No, I've just seen what we're getting paid
00:44You're getting paid?
00:47Let's move on to the show
00:49Right, well, she's good at running, jumping and throwing things
00:53And it's just a coincidence that she's from Dundalk
00:55It's Irish superstar athlete Kate O'Connor
01:01And
01:08If oversharing and drinking Prosecco were an Olympic sport
01:14Well, she'd win gold
01:15It's podcaster, comedian and self-confessed penophile
01:18Joanne McNally
01:19And
01:25Performing stand-up tonight
01:27He's a comedian who's known for introducing Tommy and his guests
01:30On the Tommy Tiernan show
01:32So it's only right we let him introduce himself
01:34Well, Johnnies
01:37Your next guest is
01:40The beautiful and highly talented
01:41Mr. Fred Coop
01:43And
01:49And
01:50Greetings, hold tight with a mic and a left hand
01:52We'll have music for Mark McCain
01:54Now
02:00It's time to find out who's in the bar
02:04We're in the bar
02:06Who's in the bar?
02:07We're in the bar
02:08Right, where is Danielle?
02:10Here
02:11In the bar
02:12OK, Danielle is in the bar
02:13Right, Stuart, come on, come with me here
02:15We'll have a look
02:16Danielle, is this you, in the white?
02:18Yes
02:18How are you?
02:19Where are you from, Danielle?
02:20I'm from Monaghan
02:21OK, you're from Monaghan
02:22Right, wait
02:23CHEERING
02:26Danielle, what's your hidden talent?
02:29I can sing with my mouth closed
02:31You can sing with your mouth closed
02:32Yeah
02:33100%
02:33Girls, you seem
02:34This is absolutely hilarious
02:35Have you ever seen her do it before?
02:37No!
02:38No?
02:39Well, we're in for an absolute treat, Danielle
02:43Take it away
02:44OK
02:46evaluating
02:48Pick mittecock
02:50I gotta keep my dancing at the peak
03:15Give it up for Danielle everybody
03:19Johnny B back to you
03:23Lads look who's at the bar. It's only Fred cook
03:28But apart from being a class comedian you also have some hidden talents I do I can play two melodic is at the same time
03:39Does this come in handy oh yeah?
03:45Viva la vida
03:57Are you
04:15Well John that makes him twice as talented as us. There's nothing Fred cook can't do right you ready to meet our first guest
04:25Okay, who is Seamus the sheep got for us today is it going to be Muhammad Ali Joanne McNally or a lad from the Donegal rally
04:32It'll be weird if we're just interviewing some lad it is of course
04:37Joanne McNally
04:39I'm
04:45I
04:47I
04:49Hello, hello, how are you?
04:51How are you?
04:53Welcome, welcome!
04:55Hey!
04:57You just said welcome, welcome to me.
04:59To me.
05:01Welcome to the bar, how are you?
05:03I'm good, how are you?
05:05We're great, there's women on the back absolutely collapsing with the sight of you.
05:07It's like the Virgin Mary appearing to knock, John.
05:09It's like having Jesus in black boots.
05:11Shut up!
05:13You're killing it everywhere on the circuit.
05:15Your last tour holds the record for the amount of sellouts
05:17in Vicar Street. You're back on the road again.
05:19How's it going? It's going grand.
05:21Fucked and busy. This is my night off.
05:23Thank you for coming. Yeah, you're welcome.
05:25It's great.
05:27The new tour is called Pinophile.
05:29Right, what's the story with the name?
05:31So there was a video going around the internet
05:33a while ago of this spinning class
05:35and you know
05:37these videos go viral and in these online
05:39spinning classes you need to have a name.
05:41Everyone has a name like spinning for gin or whatever it is.
05:43And
05:45there was a video going around
05:46so one of the instructors saw this name
05:47come from the leaderboard
05:48and she obviously didn't like what she saw
05:49and she started going mental
05:50and she was like
05:51kick him out, kick him out, kick him out.
05:53We don't do that here.
05:54She's one of the Americans.
05:55She's very like enthusiastic or whatever.
05:57And of course I, it went viral and I was like
05:59what was the name? What was the name?
06:01And then it turned out the name was Pedalphile.
06:03Which of course
06:05it's fucking genius actually.
06:07And I was like
06:08mwah, that is so funny.
06:10Ha ha ha ha.
06:11And then
06:12and then I spoke about it somewhere
06:14and actually a woman who follows me on Instagram
06:16messaged me and she was like
06:17your spinning name should be
06:19Pinophile.
06:20Because I'm a very big fan of
06:22That is a large glass of wine as well.
06:24It's not as large as I asked for.
06:25I asked for all of them.
06:26I said they're obviously on a budget.
06:28Where's the rest of them?
06:29So she said you should be
06:31your spinning name should be
06:32Pinophile.
06:33And I said no, no, no.
06:34That's too good a name for a spinning name.
06:35I said that's a show name.
06:36It was Pinophile or Pinopsycho
06:37and I went with Pinophile.
06:38And were you always born to perform?
06:40Even like as a youngster?
06:41I was always a bit of a thirsty bitch as a kid.
06:43I was, yeah.
06:46Like I was in drama
06:47and I wanted to be in the Billy Barrys and all.
06:49I was that way.
06:50I did a lot of spoken words
06:51and thank God I got that out of my system.
06:53I did a lot of acting like
06:56school plays and all.
06:57I was in a convent school.
06:58It was an all-girls school.
06:59Okay.
07:00So any of the plays,
07:01I'm sure it's the same here.
07:02You have to play all the boy parts.
07:03Yeah.
07:04And I have, I have a bit of height in me.
07:05Yeah.
07:06I have a bit of a build.
07:07Yeah.
07:08So I was always,
07:09even growing up I was the daddy.
07:11Yeah.
07:12Do you know what I mean?
07:13Which is probably the problem now to the stage.
07:18I'm the top basically.
07:19It's all I'm saying.
07:22So it was a musical.
07:23It was a musical.
07:24It was a musical.
07:25It was a musical.
07:26What musical is it?
07:27So the sound of music.
07:28Oh yeah.
07:29I was Rob the telegram boy,
07:30but I wanted to be Liesl.
07:31So there was always that kind of,
07:32do you know what I mean?
07:33No.
07:34What teacher had to break it to you?
07:35You can't be Liesl.
07:36You have to be the Nazi.
07:37She said,
07:38she was like,
07:39we can't have Liesl taller than her father.
07:40Anyway.
07:42Yeah.
07:43I always wanted to perform in them,
07:44but then my family just weren't really that into it.
07:46And they were like,
07:47you'll just starve to death.
07:48No one really believed I could do it.
07:49And then anyway,
07:50I ended up getting into it by accident.
07:51And I'm thrilled now.
07:52On stage and in the podcast,
07:53you talk a lot about dating and relationships.
07:54I do.
07:55But like you're so busy.
07:56Do you even have time to date?
07:57No.
07:58No.
07:59Although,
08:00and I don't know if they'll leave this in.
08:01Go on.
08:02They'll leave it in.
08:03So,
08:04I think the job's a bit of a cop block.
08:06Men are like,
08:07they're not that into it.
08:08Really?
08:09Yes.
08:10You know.
08:11Come on.
08:12I learned that early on.
08:14No one's looking at my show and being like,
08:16I want to take her.
08:17Like,
08:18it's just,
08:19people are like,
08:20why is she so angry?
08:21Do you know?
08:22It's more like,
08:23so the other week,
08:24last week in York,
08:25there was a man playing with himself up in the stalls of the show.
08:27I know.
08:28I was thrilled.
08:29Yeah.
08:30I was absolutely delighted.
08:33I was like,
08:34shut up.
08:35Was he hot?
08:36Was he wearing a ring?
08:37What was the crack?
08:38Because that just never happened.
08:40But he was like,
08:41having a little,
08:42now,
08:43I,
08:44I was fed,
08:45I didn't know how,
08:46he was having a little go of himself, I'd say.
08:47What?
08:48He wasn't having a full,
08:49Right.
08:50You know what I mean?
08:51It wasn't full of pepper shit.
08:52No.
08:53It was like,
08:54yeah.
08:55It was,
08:56it was a little sprinkling.
08:57Would you say a little sprinkling of sorts?
08:59A fondle?
09:00A fondle.
09:01It's like he was playing three blind mice on himself.
09:03Because then,
09:04I didn't know.
09:05Anyway,
09:06I saw the footage of it,
09:07and it was quite innocent in the end.
09:08Okay.
09:09It wasn't the compliment I thought it was.
09:10Ah.
09:11Yeah.
09:12But when he was removed,
09:13you just went.
09:14And I was like,
09:15that's not that hot.
09:16You should have fought for me.
09:17Do you know what I mean?
09:18I want to stay and finish.
09:20It's still hot.
09:21I just left.
09:22So that's the closest thing I've had.
09:23Yeah.
09:24What kind of commitment is that?
09:25I think I'm seeing him now.
09:26I think we're going to date.
09:28But if you're so busy,
09:29and you go on a date,
09:30how do you like,
09:31quickly tell,
09:32right,
09:33there could be a second date here,
09:34or this is a hard no.
09:35I, for myself,
09:36am big into personality,
09:37which is a huge insult,
09:38I know, to everyone I've ever gone out with.
09:39But.
09:40It is.
09:41But that's the truth.
09:42It's always personality first,
09:44and look second.
09:45And then at the start,
09:46it's so funny,
09:47like, the mind is so funny,
09:48because at the start,
09:49you're like, God,
09:50and then a couple of minutes in,
09:51you're like,
09:52you think the most beautiful person
09:53in the world?
09:54Yeah.
09:55I'm tearing up.
09:56You hardly have,
09:57like,
09:58you're too famous for date maps
09:59and all that,
10:00are you?
10:01You know,
10:02I'm on all the date.
10:03Don't say I know.
10:04Don't say I know.
10:05Don't say I know.
10:06Don't say I know.
10:07Don't say I know.
10:08Don't say I know.
10:09Don't say I know.
10:10Don't say I know.
10:11Don't say I know.
10:12Don't try to shame me.
10:13So, like,
10:14the guy didn't message me.
10:15He was like,
10:16just so you know,
10:18if someone's using your,
10:19someone's using your palace.
10:20on Hinge.
10:21And I was like,
10:22thank you so much.
10:26You're letting me now.
10:27I'll report it.
10:28So I was like,
10:29it was obviously me.
10:30It was me.
10:31Yeah.
10:32Were you on that celebrity dating app?
10:33That rare?
10:34Yeah.
10:35It's terrible.
10:36So bad.
10:37Firstly as well,
10:38like,
10:39like,
10:40not to be hard on myself,
10:41but how can I,
10:42compete with fucking i don't know cindy crawford well i don't know she's on a beef this really
10:50high-end also do you know what i did i set my raya because i was fascinated and obviously every
10:54woman has that one moment in their 40s and they're like maybe i'm gay and it lasted like 24 hours
10:59so i set my raya to women because i was like i want to see and then i i kept it at women and
11:03the women the standard of the women on it you're like ah what's the point they're like Victoria
11:06secret models and all i'm better off on hinge i'm a hinge girl yeah okay yeah i'm a hinge girl wait so
11:11you said raya that's the celebrity one yeah dating app did i hear you got kicked off that well
11:19but so they get really weird about the privacy on raya it's like it's not a
11:27like it's not the illuminati like but so but if you screen grab anything you you get there's like
11:33we're we're and of course that's how you know you shouldn't be on a celebrity date now because
11:37i was just on there screen grabbing everyone and sending it to the girls
11:41oh my god look who's on it blah blah blah and so then eventually they took the account if you
11:45get three screen grabs and then you get your they shut your account down but it's not forever they
11:49let you back on they don't care it's like it's lewis hamilton like who cares he's always on it
11:56he's always on it and i'm on it too and i'm like look at lewis what a loser he's still on it
12:00but i'm like joanne you're also on it and now it's no part nothing to do with you
12:05has volga ever tried to set you up any posh lads right yeah but they're not for me no and i'm not
12:10for them and that's okay that's okay yeah her because because it's well like vogue's normal posh
12:18and but then spencer's like extra extraterrestrial posh so he's english posh yeah he's like gentry posh
12:25on him so his friends like no you know yourself there's just like that no it's just like straight
12:30away like and then i get embarrassed i'm like don't because they're not going to be and he's
12:34like no no they will they will and then vogue's like don't show them our insta and all i'm like
12:39it's like they won't fancy if they see your insta but no i can't be dealing with the pop english
12:43it's different it's a different level yeah yeah so more likely you think you'd end up with an irish lad oh
12:47i'd say so yeah if i don't keep doing interviews like this ruining it for myself yeah um your peak
12:55of romance though was probably in primary school was it when you were a child oh i know what you're
13:00talking about we've been listening to your body yeah we've heard stories well i am and was boy mad
13:05have been all my life right but now i have a bit more chill but when i was a kid i'd know chill but we
13:10used to play kiss chase which i don't know if you can play now it's probably a consent issue for kids
13:15yeah yeah but we were violently gamey as kids
13:22too much that's the worst thing i said
13:29we were i was a little horndog like i remember my mom
13:35i remember asking my mom once what i was like as a child and she was like you were very flirtatious
13:39yeah so with men and women which i was like that's you're kind of
13:42slut shaming me as a boy baby i don't know anyway but wait i think what yeah the kid i was out there
13:47was a lad oh oh wonder where he is now and i was mad about him but we were playing kiss chase and i guess
13:55kiss chase is kind of a flirty game but sometimes they really run like they really run
13:59and you have to take the note then that they're maybe not interested they're not interested yeah
14:04i didn't even know if he was playing he might have just been running away and i just mentally turned
14:09it into a game of seduction it was like i find terrible i'm like i'm like he wants it really he
14:14just doesn't know he's like anyway so i rent off and he had a hood and he i so i got him there and i
14:21like and reefed him and the two was went flying and the jacket ripped and i had a huge big um
14:26bruise all over my chin for my holy communion i was like gamer yeah baller gangster man don't hate
14:33the player hit the game exactly yeah uh you also moved to london recently uh you moved into your new
14:38apartment and judging by your social posts you've got some fairly random art pieces i mean what what mad
14:43stuff have you bought for the gaff you say random i say well thought out strategic and artful
14:47taste of it are you talking about the ass vases you know depressed vases you've got pressed vases
14:53no um depressed oh depressed
15:12it is kind of cool i didn't realize i have a bit of um because i didn't i didn't have my own place
15:16until i was 40 so i didn't understand my taste because i've never had the opportunity to
15:21express it yes turns out it's very whimsical and kind of alice in thunderland vibes right
15:27what have you got like huge i just i like john well firstly i can't measure anything so i end up
15:31accidentally ordering giant pieces of furniture that i thought were normal sized pieces of furniture
15:35but then when they arrive i'm like it's actually looks great uh so i'm like a borrower in the house
15:39you might remember that you're quite young quite a big lamp there you go look at that big lamp yeah
15:43yeah now i well i'm not gonna say i thought it was a table lamp i didn't but i definitely didn't
15:50think it was that size yeah i need to i need to put my laptop i'm just drunk shopping at night
15:57and this all this mad shit's arriving into the house but like that's cool isn't it that is
16:00kind of crazy yeah i think it's daddy it's a little bit like a jcb yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it is
16:06hello let's give it up for joanne mcnally
16:12now joanne is still performing pino file you can go out to see it you can get more info at joanne
16:17mcnally.com get the tickets and that right joanne plug plug plug plug plug plug now usually we play a
16:22game at dub or culture but seeing as you're on tonight you're a big star we're going all out
16:25and we're replacing dub and culture because we are heading live to coogee beach in sydney for a game
16:30of irish or aussie here we are that camera is live in sydney where it is currently about 6am tomorrow
16:39oh it's the future we have time travel on this show yeah so just by looking at somebody we have to
16:43guess are they irish or are they australian you play along with us okay the big finger is up
16:47that okay okay can we get the two girls on the right two girls drinking coffee let's spin around
16:55don't say anthony but uh nod your head if you're up for playing a game on telly
17:00are you up for playing a game she is okay joanne irish or australian oh it's like definitely irish and
17:06if not if she's not oh she she's descendant like it's energy she's it's energy and it's in her blood
17:11she's a hundred percent irish uh what do you reckon fred kate what do you think irish 100
17:16i shouted her last week
17:22i reckon if that's a nurse's uniform i think yeah so i'm i'm going to say yeah can we see the shoes
17:29well hold on which one are we looking at we're looking at them about i need your blood irish can
17:32we see the shoes there we go oh they're their nurse shoes respectable shoes that's what do we think
17:39yeah girl spotting your names and where are you from chloe and chloe
17:43where are you from chloe and chloe
17:47leash and wexford
17:52leash and wexford all right cameraman let's turn around let's get down them steps thanks girls the
17:57finger is almost dislocated it's got injured on the way to australia yeah
18:01big white socks oh yeah oh yeah here we go he's got a mustache
18:08all right you sir don't say that and just nod your head if you're up for playing a game on telly
18:13all right okay joanne what do you think irish or ozzy this is a harder call
18:17if he is irish he's been there for a while yeah he's adapting with the moustache and stuff yeah yeah
18:22he's a transition in australia okay yeah yeah i'm gonna say irish with notions irish with notions
18:28yeah are they drinking uh what do you got a cold brew coffee there john is it oh they've changed if
18:32they are irish
18:35fred what do you think oh definitely irish yeah he's an engineer you can see why is it an irish
18:39engineer says fred i'll tell you what lads say it not because we'll find out after the break
18:52and you live in this heaven of love
18:57no matter where you are
19:01you're my guiding star
19:04you're my guiding star
19:06hold me in your arms don't let me go
19:10i want to stay forever
19:14closer we stay
19:17home and away
19:22welcome back to johnny's late night locking now before the break we had our camera out in the
19:28streets of sydney we want to know if this person is irish or an aussie right lads what do we think
19:33i think
19:38cool cool okay let's find out okay lads let's find out what's your name and where are you from
19:44i am my name's nathan i'm from car
19:46we'll be heading back to sydney later but now it is time for some brilliant stand-up
20:01everybody put your hands together and go mental it's frat club
20:15oh
20:19hello to johnny's locking are we well
20:22all right if you don't care but you know what sure people try to cancel me because i made fun
20:27of people from louth saying that they're not able to use their tongues they're like how are you
20:30how are you doing jesus
20:33that's what you sound like i'm that's not even racist are you from louth are you yeah yeah like
20:38like this is a birthday party in your house
20:40happy boy hey happy boy hey happy boy hey god love you like your name's probably like jacinta or
20:50something like that
20:56that's just the way it is isn't this
21:01you see i'm allowed to make fun of people from louth because i grew up in carols county me that's a
21:05neighbouring yeah there you go he's like me again right and uh no if anyone you guys you
21:10girls know kells if anyone doesn't know where kells is i was trying to explain it last week to american
21:14people and what i wanted to say is i grew up in the east of ireland but also to the middle of ireland
21:18but i was hammered and i looked at them and went oh i grew up in the middle east
21:29they were looking at me going oh my god you're so brave i was like you've no idea at the moment oh my
21:33god it's very tough isn't it so i'm allowed to you know i love people from rd that's my next town you
21:40know i went to school with a guy secondary school with a guy from rd and he couldn't use his tongue
21:44either how are you doing the leaving for jesus and how cruel is this i did mary poppins with him in
21:50second year and the music teacher made him sing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
22:03oh you're so lovely thank you so much and uh ah no you need to be sure you need to be careful as
22:22well this is so lovely such a packed room like when i was starting off i thought my agent would get rid
22:27of me because there was no one coming to my gigs it was terrible do you know i remember i had a show in
22:30edinburgh the edinburgh comedy festival at three o'clock and i had a meeting with him later on
22:34that day at seven o'clock right this is true and that day three o'clock one person came to my gig for
22:39the hour one person now thankfully ladies and gentlemen that one person was non-binary oh thank god
22:46so when my agent asked me how's the gig i was like oh they really enjoyed it
23:05they couldn't stop laughing the whole lot of them now it's great
23:09my agent was shocked and surprised he goes god well done fred and then he goes well fred
23:13for the gender ratio i was like ah 50 50 you know yourself
23:20so you know like you have to laugh it's good for the mental health and physical health as well
23:24isn't it you know i'm trying to lose weight myself and uh oh those dreaded spinning classes i hate them
23:30i hate spinning classes they're too much and you know the age group have your spinning class don't you
23:33by the music that's coming out of the speakers like here's an idea of my spinning class at the moment
23:38right your man's up the front he's gonna he's like okay we're going to do a hill climb put your
23:43resistance up and everything that it is here we go one two three four sweet car
23:47alive exactly yeah they're not even spinning they're just looking back going
23:57they think it's a nightclub
23:58and then the last five minutes your man's like okay well done now take your resistance off guys
24:06you've done all the hard work well done hello darkness my old friend
24:12it's depressing isn't it don't worry guys as a comedian you're in safe hands with me i'm very
24:18woke unbelievable unbelievable like even when it comes to the old lgbtqta i've got a best friend
24:24for every letter i do i've got a best friend for every like lesbian that's my friend jyvonne like g
24:32that's my friend brian like t-trans that's my friend jyvonne again she's great she covers a load of
24:36letters for me actually she's on the real that one she's great she doesn't cover asexual at the end
24:45people who don't want to have sex but my wife sorts that one out so it's fine
24:57ah no no my wife is very supportive you might notice with me now uh like i don't play full
25:02songs on the guitar don't i not i just do like seven seconds of well-known songs do you know why
25:06i don't play full songs on the guitar because i can't afford the music rights it's crap do you know
25:11to make a living in stand-up i can't play full songs like i'll be looking at you hey you're a
25:15really pretty woman that's all you're getting there
25:20i'm looking at the lady with the irish top oh i love your brown eyes fair play to you
25:32leave it there thank you thank you thank you so much
25:48and make sure for upcoming tour dates for fred check out fredcookcomedian.com a massive round of
25:57applause one more time for fred cook
26:01now ladies and gentlemen it's time for the greatest quiz of all time it's the parish quiz
26:10every week we invite two people to test their local knowledge they represent their parish in the
26:19parish quiz and our first parish is mitchellstown in county cork and representing them as owen lynch
26:23owen how are you getting on good night how's black oh sure unbelievable lad now people might recognize you
26:28can you can you if anybody's thinking i know that lad from somewhere why would they know you i just love
26:33slurry like you just love slurry you are you are the slurry king ah yeah i think so anyway so you went
26:40firing at the at the ploughman ah yeah a video of you declaring your undying love for slurry well i suppose
26:46thinking and sleeping about it is enough for me and what is it about slurry that you love so much
26:51i had a smell of it i suppose you want next door i don't like it though but i like it and what's the
26:57crackdown of mitchellstown what you at yourself a bit of contracting yeah yeah okay now what kind of work
27:01does the contracting involve now well slurry like it
27:06rooting and tearing and rooting and tearing yeah yeah yeah sure a bit of silage and hedge cutting and
27:10everything you name it there's nothing you won't do ah well well if we can't do it we won't be done like
27:15johnny let's give it up for all from mitchellstown now our second parish from the county tipperary
27:27is our hometown of care and representing us and representing us is jake kiney how are you jake
27:35too bad no not too bad well jake how are you getting on man right
27:38there you can stay home we see each other as well well it's great to have you on we know you
27:54your whole life uh through the ga mostly uh so outside of playing the guy you are an electrician
27:59yeah how's that going is the boom back the boom is back lads trying to get trying to get
28:04fucking young fellas so you recently did a couple jobs for smacks oh that light
28:14so jake did a job for smacks on a sunday morning yeah jake how did it turn out it looks lovely now i
28:20think okay good well lads we have a photograph of jake's light show here
28:25not your proudest moment jake i guess it's a couple of 40 years
28:43oh okay well you ready for the parish quiz yeah sure will you go at it all right here it is
28:47mitchellstown versus care it's time to play the parish quiz we're starting off with you on in
28:51mitchellstown here's your question well owen i have a question for you now i'm down here at the bottom
28:57of saint phanahan's well a lovely walk down along i have finn's fields on my left i have jj's fields
29:04and his lovely farm away over to my right now can you tell me whose fields are between jj's and the well
29:11and that bollocks beside me i hope he didn't tell you on the way up now i tried to get it out of them
29:20now it was hard and she's like well whose fields are they well you have him you fins bounding him
29:27and you have this man's field bounding the other side they're dev garments i'm gonna have to push you
29:34whose field is it ah i'd go at danny wheel okay don don wheelen you're saying let's find out if you're right
29:44and now he's bringing in his cows the answer of course is don wheelen
29:55you're up and running you're up and running okay right jake you ready throw it at me
30:00let's go to care for your question now let's there's two points in my way for you and i have a
30:08question for jake from the shamrock jake we have traditional uh care cultures and friends playing
30:13in the shamrock and what night of the week do they play on what night of the week is the trad in the
30:19shamrock she couldn't miss that like well fridays friday nights yeah have you been in
30:24i've been there i wouldn't dare for the trad now it was probably it's probably in a pair of sneakers
30:30wait but you've been in there fridays yeah go friday friday okay let's go back to huey and
30:34margaret in the shamrock lounge and find out hi jake welcome back to the shamrock
30:40care cultures and friends they play every friday night
30:44okay question number two on here we go we're heading back to mitchell sound hello tom here again
30:58in the federal hotel here in mitchell sound where we do calvary monday to sunday
31:02uh it varies roast beef uh roast lamb turkey and ham you name it could you answer me one question on
31:11how much is a calvary dinner on a sunday you're surely a fan of calvary that all that contract
31:16to work oh well i've spent the night inside there all right now how much is a calvary on a sunday
31:21oh god i wouldn't date the whole lot of it now i don't think you pay by the spoon
31:28you pay by the fact though um oh it's not it's not it's not 21 euro 21 you're said
31:37let's find out if you're right hi you all i've got your beef dinner there and the price of that will
31:44be 20 euro 20 20. it's good stuff it's good stuff all right jake you ready just to go up now
31:58let's go to the premier county for your next question
32:00hi jake andy here with firma cool's two hounds but last thursday evening this hound here peppy
32:11had a big birthday party in palmukka your father was there with many others he had a cheesecake
32:16the lads had sponge cake but what age was peppy
32:19okay the question is the question is what age was peppy the dog last week i wasn't invited
32:30i didn't even get to collectivate that dog's fair old
32:3816 that's a fair age let's go back to andy and find out if you're right
32:43hi jake i hope you got it right or you'll be in trouble the next evening
32:47but mr peppy celebrated his 16th birthday
32:55which means
32:57commiserations to lynchie the ferry king congratulations to jake highly from care
33:08now prize time jake okay we've two envelopes here in one of those envelopes
33:13is an all expenses paid trip to las vegas it hasn't went all series jake it hasn't went all series
33:20tonight's the last night it could go and in the other envelope is two free pints of my wadi from the
33:26shamrock lounge so which envelope are you going to go for jake
33:34i hope you make decisions quicker when you're at work
33:36yeah we're electricians it's very fucking go on i go left my left or your left oh no
33:47your left my left okay you were double checking there john all right jake
33:51i'll open up that and let the people know here and at home what have you
33:54what have you what have you
33:57show all the people what you know here and show all the people what you want
33:59people what you want
34:10las vegas lives another day okay let's give it up
34:13for owen and jake our parish christian
34:19now still to come we will be chatting to kate o'connor we'll also have music from mark mccain
34:23mimi and we'll have loads more madness to join us after a break right mark give us an old banger there will you
34:40be
34:45oh
34:49free from desire
34:51my
34:59no
35:01no
35:05no
35:07Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
35:24Hello, and welcome back to Johnny's Late Night Lock-in.
35:29Now lads, it is our last show so there's just something we'd like to say.
35:32many Premier League footballers musicians and comedians we've had a big offer to play somewhere with a dubious history and
35:39Questionable morals, but we are not prepared to abandon our principles, so we've cancelled our gig in off Lee
35:48To choose our next guest let's cross to Seamus the Sheep
35:53Who's it gonna be who's it gonna be he's gonna be Kate O'Connor Paki Bonner or our mate Connor, which would be an awkward one
35:59Come on Seamus who's it gonna be it is of course Kate O'Connor
36:25Kate how are you I'm good I almost fell down that step
36:29Can we ask you got the medals?
36:31Yeah, thanks for bringing them in. No, thank you for having me as well
36:36Sorry, I'm like oh jeez somewhere
36:38They're heavy enough. Yeah, this is the closest I'll ever get to a track medal
36:45I ran home from the pub last again. That was
36:48To be honest, I probably should have got a medal for that
36:51Unreal their class. Thanks. So take us through what medals they are this one is so that's my first one that I got this year
36:57So that's the European bronze medal probably like the one that I had to fight for the most
37:01Yeah, that was a tough one to get so you got all these medals in one year pretty much
37:04Yeah, it's all those here
37:06It's amazing
37:08That's amazing
37:14So for people living under a rock who don't know a heptathlon is 100m hurdles high jump long jump 800m run shot put javelin 200m run
37:23200m run correct. Yes, I'm tired. Just name in the mouth
37:27Do you have a favorite?
37:29I would always say the high jump and the javelin are my two favorite because hurdle wise you start and you're on the line and I'm shitting myself
37:37As awful as it sounds, there's like 10 barriers in the way 10 chances to fall
37:40So once I get it
37:42You fell coming down the stairs
37:44So I'm liable to fall over so it's like it's all about getting through the first event
37:48Yeah, we should have all heard you'd have been walking straight out over it, brilliant
37:52Give me a set of blocks
37:53And then you got the silver medal, this is in Tokyo where you broke the Irish record
37:56I did yeah, so that's this one here
37:58I mean we have a picture of you here winning your medal
38:06At least all of us do that
38:08I know it's the cool thing to do
38:10It is the cool thing to do
38:11I did that to community games
38:12I came sixth
38:14I came sixth
38:16I came sixth
38:17I don't even give out medals
38:18Me mother got me one
38:19Yeah, we made it with a blood of chocolate
38:21But like you said seven events okay over two days
38:24But how do you train for an event like that?
38:26Oh god, it's tough
38:28My dad does a lot of the planning for my sessions
38:30It's like a full nine to five job
38:33Right
38:34I'm in, I'm on the track for a couple of hours
38:36Then go from the track up to the gym
38:38Then gym, physio
38:39And then it never really ends actually to be honest
38:41Because you kind of
38:42You come home and then you're trying to recover for the next day of training as well
38:45So like our only time off is our off season
38:47Which is like this time
38:49Yeah, that's why I've got a glass of wine beside me
38:51Well deserved that
38:53But yeah, it's a full nine to five
38:55Yeah, so a lot of people are competing against their professional full-time athletes
38:59And while you were doing all this you were still studying in college
39:01I was I literally just submitted
39:03I actually just got my dissertation results like
39:05Last week I was on holidays in Turkey
39:07And I got my dissertation results and I passed
39:10So when you're not in the track like
39:12Do you wrap yourself in cotton wool?
39:14Like the fear of getting injured must be massive is it?
39:15Oh yeah, completely
39:16Like I would love to do something like skiing or something
39:20My boyfriend's obsessed with like that idea as well
39:24But neither can do it because of our sports
39:26Yeah, he's worried no he's like skiing
39:28Plus you know skiing in Lowndes
39:30Oh no, it's a dream holiday
39:34Yeah, we know as well that your dad is your manager
39:38And we know as well that your dad is your manager
39:40And we know he's absolutely brilliant
39:44He looks after you
39:46And we know he's absolutely brilliant
39:48He looks after you
39:50Erm
40:11What's his background like was he a professional athlete himself
40:13Nope
40:14We just learned the sport together
40:15Erm
40:16Yeah, we just learnt every single event
40:18What did he work at before he was coaching you?
40:20He was a quantity surveyor.
40:21A quantity surveyor?
40:22Yeah, he was on the sites and now he's a primary school teacher.
40:25Wow.
40:26And he's coaching you in the heptathlon?
40:28Yes, he is.
40:29Right, did he just Google it?
40:30Yeah, YouTube.
40:31I'm still watching YouTube.
40:33He can add class manager to CB as well in fairness to him.
40:37Joanne, are we into sports?
40:39Well, no.
40:41I used to always say I cycled menstrually and that's all I ever thought.
40:48So what is your record in the long jump?
41:006.32.
41:016 metres.
41:03.32.
41:04Right, well the reason we're asking that is because earlier myself and Max gave it a go.
41:10We didn't know what was a good length, what was a bad length.
41:14We've got a video here of Johnny trying to, do you want to see it?
41:17Yeah.
41:18Yeah.
41:19Here we go.
41:20No, I just want to say I am carrying quad injury, grinds a bit tight.
41:28I didn't have the right runners, several things.
41:33Right, okay, would you do the honours?
41:35Can we stand up?
41:36Yeah, here we go.
41:37You can reveal that, where you are there?
41:39Max got 1.7.
41:42I'll take that.
41:43Pretty good.
41:44I'll take that.
41:45It looks better measured out than it does on the video.
41:49Let's have a look and see how Johnny B got on.
41:54Oh wow.
41:55He was cheating, he had really good runners on.
42:00What did you get John?
42:01I did slightly better, I got 2.2.
42:04What did you say you got again?
42:066.32.
42:076.32, okay.
42:08We're just going to explain that to people, if we can.
42:11You jumped.
42:12There's four, there's five metres, 6.32 here.
42:20How?
42:21A lot of training, I don't know, probably a lot of delusion.
42:36Just hit the board, jump as far as you can.
42:38I wouldn't go as far on my holidays.
42:41You stop shouting, I'll come back to you.
42:43Yeah.
42:44You drop that.
42:45Mind your fingers, John, mind your fingers.
42:47He's a former apprentice, look at that.
42:50Oh, I tell ya.
42:52The housewives are going to love that.
42:54All that's going to have to go, it's going to cost you big.
42:57Kate, when you're competing, you always put in maximum effort
43:00and the cameras are always there to capture every bit of it.
43:02So we have a series of pictures which show you at your absolute peak,
43:06so we thought we'd play a game.
43:07Are you up for this?
43:08Yeah.
43:09OK, it's called Game Face, where you have to tell us
43:12which event you're participating in, just going from your facial expressions.
43:16Let's have a look at your first picture.
43:19It has to be long jump, cos I always put the worst faces to a long jump, Shirley.
43:24You reckon it's long jump?
43:25If I do that in any other event, that's really embarrassing.
43:27OK, let's find out if it is long jump.
43:30Always the worst photos.
43:31Always.
43:32Let's have a look at another photo, Kate, now.
43:33I know it instantly as well.
43:34Could have been a really big curry.
43:35What do you reckon, Kate?
43:36Has to be the shot put.
43:37The shot put.
43:38Has to be.
43:39Has to be.
43:40This is me trying to do maths.
43:41Has to be.
43:42Right, let's find out if it is the shot put.
43:44It is.
43:45It is.
43:46Yay!
43:47Let's have one more, let's have a look.
43:48OK.
43:49I know it again, it's a long jump, it has to be.
43:50OK, let's have a look, is it the long jump?
43:51It is you long jumping over the lip.
43:52What?
43:53What?
43:54What?
43:55What?
43:56What?
43:57What?
43:58What?
43:59What?
44:00What?
44:01What?
44:02What do you reckon, Kate?
44:03What do you reckon, Kate?
44:04Has to be the shot put.
44:05The shot put.
44:06Has to be.
44:07Has to be.
44:08This is me trying to do maths.
44:09Right, let's find out if it is the shot put.
44:10It is.
44:11Yay!
44:12Let's have one more.
44:13Over the Olympics.
44:14It is that impressive.
44:19What is next for Kate O'Connor?
44:21Are we looking for gold in LA at the next Olympics?
44:24I am looking to keep progressing.
44:26I would love to get a medal at LA and obviously I would love it to be a gold.
44:29So yeah, going to work towards that.
44:30We are all behind you now.
44:31You are going to do it.
44:32All right, let's head back to Australia lads.
44:37Let's have another game of Irish or Aussie.
44:40Let's head back to Coogee Beach in Sydney.
44:43Oh!
44:44It feels like home in a way, doesn't it?
44:46Doesn't it?
44:47Even just buzzing.
44:48Right, so just by looking at somebody.
44:49Who is this lad?
44:51Are the Irish or the Australian?
44:53This lad looks so scary.
44:55Get in on him.
44:57Get in on him.
44:58Oh, he's got budgie.
44:59Okay, don't say anything man.
45:01You are live on television.
45:02Nod your head if you are up for playing a game.
45:04I think he has a big Irish head in him.
45:06But he is Australian from the neck down.
45:08Yeah.
45:09If that is at all possible.
45:11Joanne, what do you reckon?
45:12I agree with you.
45:13The pants aren't.
45:14There are no Irish man to wear those pants.
45:16But he does have an Irish head.
45:18I am confused.
45:20audience, what do you reckon Irish or Aussie?
45:22Aussie.
45:23Aussie.
45:24Okay, what's your name, mate, and where are you from?
45:27John, from Ireland.
45:32Hang on.
45:33John, what part of Ireland are you from?
45:36High Castle, Northanger.
45:40I didn't know they made him like that in Northanger.
45:42Good man, John.
45:43Wow.
45:44Thank you, John.
45:45Okay, swim safe.
45:48Lads, I don't think we will get any better than that.
45:51That is incredible.
45:52Lads, give it up for everybody out on the beach in Sydney.
46:00I'm going to be honest.
46:01I don't think there is any Australians left in Australia.
46:04Well, a big thank you to all our crew on the streets of Sydney.
46:07And lads, unfortunately, that's all we have time for.
46:09Awww.
46:10A big thank you to all our guests.
46:12To Joanne McNally.
46:13To Franco.
46:20This is our last episode of this series.
46:22And a massive thank you to all of our brilliant guests.
46:24Our stand-up comedians.
46:25And the brilliant music we've had all over the series.
46:27And a massive thank you to you at home for watching.
46:29From all of us here in Swan's Bar in Screen in County Meath.
46:33And now, the moment we've all been waiting for, lads.
46:35There's only one way to end this series.
46:36And that is with the man, the myth, the legend, Mark McCain!
46:39All right.
46:40All you guys are going to do the first place.
46:41Are we ready?
46:42Yeah?
46:43All right.
46:44She helped her cross and answer that match.
46:45We tried to stick here.
46:46She.
46:47She.
46:48She.
46:49And all.
46:50She.
46:51And all.
46:52She.
46:53Back in the house for the two Johnnies late.
46:54Not lucky.
46:55Season finale.
46:56Yeah.
46:57Yeah.
46:58Yeah.
46:59Fuck you.
47:00Yeah.
47:01She.
47:02She.
47:03Back in the house for the two Johnnies late.
47:07Not lucky.
47:08Season finale.
47:09Yeah.
47:10Yeah.
47:11Fuck you.
47:12Yeah.
47:13She.
47:14She.
47:15She.
47:16She.
47:17She's a maniac.
47:21All right.
47:22Let's do this.
47:25Let's do this.
47:26Let's do this.
47:27Let's do this.
47:28Let's do this.
47:29Let's do this.
47:30Let's do this.
47:31Let's do this.
47:32Let's do this.
47:33Let's do this.
47:34Let's do this.
47:35Let's do this.
47:36Let's do this.
47:37Let's do this.
47:38Let's do this.
47:39Let's do this.
47:40Let's do this.
47:41Let's do this.
47:42Let's do this.
47:43Let's do this.
47:44Let's do this.
47:45Let's do this.
47:46Let's do this.
47:47Let's do this.
47:48Let's do this.
47:49Let's do this.
47:50Let's do this.
47:51Let's do this.
47:52Let's do this.
47:53Let's do this.
47:54Are you ready now? Move to the madness of a party back to you.
47:57We bring this group to you.
48:00Are you ready now? Move to the groove.
48:03Put your hands up in the air.
48:06One super question I ask you.
48:09Are you ready?
48:19Every single person in the house tonight.
48:22Do you see? She's a maniac.
48:25She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
48:30And she's dancing.
48:32And she's dancing like she never did before.
48:36One year of the Two Johnnies dance floor.
48:39She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
48:43Sing it.
48:44And she's dancing.
48:45And she's dancing like she never did before.
48:50The crowd's tonight.
48:52This story has come real far.
48:54And she's dancing.
48:55And she's dancing.
48:56And she's dancing like she never did before.
48:58The crowd's tonight.
49:08This story has come real far.
49:12And she's dancing like she never did before
49:17This story has come real far
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