- 5 weeks ago
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00:30North End Airport's Borderline team remains vigilant against threats to the UK, such as men, women and children.
00:39To ensure security at passport control, a strict no photographs policy is enforced.
00:44I'm going to get more likes on Instagram.
00:46It's the end of the week and Agent Clive Hustler has something important to tell Chief Inspector Linda Proctor.
00:55You okay?
00:56Just get on with it.
01:01I'm leaving Borderline.
01:05I'm sorry?
01:07I start with the police force in a month.
01:12Wow.
01:14You.
01:16The real police.
01:17I already took the exam.
01:19And passed.
01:21Well, well.
01:22Good for you, Clive.
01:23Thanks.
01:23I finally nailed the trickiest part.
01:26Effective communication.
01:27And I don't know how to say this.
01:34Effective communication is easy.
01:37It turns out all it is is you just make eye contact when you talk to them, which I can totally do.
01:44So, it's like, it's watch.
01:45So, it's like, it's watch.
01:46I see myself as a bridge between two previously warring nations.
02:07On one side is the police, okay?
02:12And on the other side, Borderline.
02:16See?
02:21It's a bridge.
02:22Doot, doot, doot, doot.
02:23Ah, yeah, that's...
02:25At this morning's briefing, however, Agent Hassler's big news will have to wait, as Proctor deals with some official business first.
02:43Once again, passengers have been taking photographs while waiting at the border.
02:48And now, this has happened.
02:51In this picture, it looks as though I'm kicking an Arabic gentleman out of the country, whereas in reality, I was directing him towards the toilet.
03:00Apparently, Twitter's having a field day.
03:03What's the hashtag on that?
03:04Yeah, that's not relevant.
03:05I found it. It's Borderline Racist.
03:06Okay, that's not the point.
03:08The main thing is that we clamp down on photographs at the border so that this doesn't happen to you.
03:14Oh, you're all over Twitter.
03:16People have Photoshopped you to look like all sorts of people.
03:18Nigel Farage.
03:20Nigel Farage again.
03:22Well, there's a lot of ones where you look like Nigel Farage.
03:24Okay, can we put the phones away now, please?
03:26Your picture's been tweeted by Nigel Farage.
03:28Devices away!
03:30I have another announcement.
03:32One of our best agents, Clive Hassler, has decided to leave Borderline.
03:38He's been accepted onto the police force and he'll be joining them later this month.
03:42What? Clive?
03:44Yes.
03:45No.
03:46The real police?
03:47Look, guys, I don't want to be treated any differently.
03:51Even though I can arrest you.
03:54I can't yet, but I have prepared something that I'd like to say at this time.
03:59When I first joined Borderline...
04:06Your picture's been retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson.
04:08Oh, fuck me.
04:10Did I think that I would make good friends?
04:13Yes.
04:14Will I miss everyone here?
04:16Yes.
04:18Will I...
04:19It may be a big day for Agent Hassler, but for the other agents, it's just another normal morning at the office.
04:25You left these.
04:30What was that?
04:31What was what?
04:33What did you just give to Andy?
04:36Um, he was just giving me about my earrings.
04:39She, uh, dropped them over there, so...
04:42Something between Tarek and Andy?
04:46No.
05:00No.
05:02Andy?
05:03Just a little...
05:04Something to say goodbye?
05:06Oh, thanks, Clive, but we should be getting you something, mate.
05:08No, no, no.
05:09It's just a little token of my, uh, words.
05:12Thank you for being, uh, friend.
05:14Oh, what is it?
05:17I bought you five shares in Reckett Benckiser.
05:20Is that my household?
05:21Sorry, you know who they are.
05:23Uh, it's up 7% since yesterday.
05:26Oh, well, that's very sweet.
05:27Don't invest in the market.
05:29Invest in your future.
05:32Okay.
05:34You're welcome.
05:35Uh, sorry?
05:37I don't need a gift, Clive.
05:39Well, good, because I didn't get you one.
05:41It's just a little...
05:42It's just a letter and it's stupid and you don't have to read it now.
05:46Agent Hassler isn't the only one struggling with goodbyes.
05:50A few weeks ago, the arrival of Ukrainian passenger Dasha Panchenko
05:54left a lasting impression on Agent Grant Brody.
05:57Now it's time for him to come to terms with her return home.
06:00I didn't realise it would be this hard, you know?
06:04Our visa's only for two weeks.
06:08It's not really enough time to...
06:10to do much, you know?
06:14Well, the rules are the rules and we must abide by the rules.
06:18I've got you a gift.
06:21It's a CD, it's the best band ever.
06:25It's Oasis.
06:27I don't have a CD player.
06:28Oh, really?
06:30Oh, sometimes I just take my wealth for granted, I should have thought.
06:33Oh, no, it's not that.
06:35I got rid of my CD player along with Walkman years ago.
06:39Maybe my grandmother still has one.
06:41It's just that when I think of the Ukraine,
06:44I think of, like, men running about with accordions
06:47and three-legged dogs and, oh, look, there he goes.
06:52It's not like that at all.
06:55No.
06:56Maybe you should visit and see.
06:58Aye, yeah, yeah.
06:59Yeah.
07:00I should do that, shouldn't I?
07:03There's this place you can go called Cakes and Kittens
07:06and you drink tea and you eat cakes and then you play with these kittens.
07:14Yeah, she would like that.
07:17It's not the sort of place I can really go on my own, is it?
07:23Did I think that I would protect the country?
07:26Yes.
07:27Did I think that I would make good friends?
07:30Yes.
07:31Did I think that the friends that I made would be such good friends?
07:36No.
07:38So that, the third one, I didn't expect.
07:42Um, sorry, I lost my place.
07:46Where did I think?
07:49OK, sorry, there's so many rhetorical questions in it
07:51that it's hard to keep track.
07:52Jesus.
07:54Yes.
07:55Yes, sir, I...
07:55Can I...
07:57I mean, it's quite funny, really.
07:59No, I know it's not funny.
08:01As the day wears on,
08:03Chief Inspector Proctor's Twitter popularity continues to grow
08:06and now the Home Office has called to discuss
08:09how successfully she's trending.
08:11Yes, sir.
08:12Yes, sir.
08:12Everything will be fine.
08:13Hey, old prox, we've got to talk, man.
08:19Shit.
08:19What is this?
08:20I was showing him to the loo.
08:23No, you weren't.
08:24Yes, I was.
08:25No, you weren't.
08:26I was showing him to the loo.
08:28Yeah, but in what country?
08:29Oh, look, just, just, get out of my office.
08:32Ah, yeah, there we go.
08:33Bro, it makes sense in there.
08:34Look, she's doing it right now.
08:34Oh, what?
08:35You can't point anymore?
08:36People can't point?
08:37Pointing makes you a racist, does it?
08:39Yeah, you are.
08:40Well, you are, yeah.
08:40Just, just please leave me alone.
08:51Hey, so what do you want to do tonight?
08:53I was thinking we can go to the Russian Crown.
08:54About eight, end up at the Swan.
08:57Then back at mine, a bit of Netflix.
08:59Oh, I'm just going to stay in tonight.
09:02Okay.
09:04Okay.
09:12I should go.
09:13I've got this lady who's been in holding for, like, two hours.
09:16I totally forgot she was there.
09:17I can help.
09:17No, I'm okay.
09:19Did something happen?
09:20Well, I don't want to talk about it,
09:22because he's a friend.
09:25Yeah, because he's my friend.
09:29Oh, it's actually a nice day.
09:31You should, you should shoot that.
09:33I've got that.
09:34That's good.
09:35Bye.
09:35Despite the mounting outside pressure on Chief Inspector Proctor,
09:40she soldiers on and brings the team in for scheduled training
09:43to keep them occupied and focused,
09:45although Agent Brodie is curiously absent.
09:48Okay, so while we're still waiting for Grant,
09:51why don't we recap on yesterday's Spanish, okay?
09:53¿Dónde?
09:56¿Dónde?
09:56¿Está?
09:57¿Está?
09:58¿Vida aplicación?
10:00¿Vida aplicación?
10:02¿Vida aplicación?
10:03Very good, Andy.
10:08Very good.
10:09Very good.
10:10Now we'll move on to Italian,
10:12which is almost the same.
10:14Dove?
10:16Dove?
10:17Dove?
10:18La?
10:19La?
10:20La?
10:21Visa applicazione.
10:23Visa applicazione.
10:25Visa applicazione.
10:26Very good.
10:27It just sounds like you're saying visa application in the accent of the country.
10:33Visa applicazione.
10:36Yeah, that's Castilian.
10:39OK, so, um, Japanese.
10:42It's invaluable training, greatly appreciated by all the agents.
10:47Today, at North End Airport, Agent Clive Hassler has announced that he'll be leaving Borderline
10:52and joining the police force.
10:54In light of such a dramatic decision, he wants to ensure he's able to say goodbye properly.
11:00And I'll never be able to...
11:03And I'll never be able to ever pay for everything that you've done for me.
11:09About an hour of time.
11:11About paying for it as best I can.
11:13You know, my new job.
11:14I can't hear you.
11:15You know, I'm gonna miss this working here.
11:20Chief Inspector Proctor is a little preoccupied when Agent Hassler arrives to say his personal goodbyes.
11:26Hey, Chief.
11:27Can I have a word?
11:28My picture's been retweeted 50,000 times.
11:31Tried to call Twitter.
11:33Turns out they don't have a phone.
11:35But...
11:36This job is a trap.
11:38If you do it well, people hate you.
11:40If you do it poorly, people hate you.
11:42Whatever happens, someone hates you.
11:44Well, I don't hate you, so I got you this.
11:48God's finest?
11:49Aw, that's great!
11:51Hey, we should have a toast to you, Agent Hassler.
11:56Now, come on.
11:57Come on.
11:58It's not every day your best agent gets accepted onto the boys in blue.
12:02We could have just one.
12:04It's a borderline.
12:05It's a borderline.
12:06Oh, come in.
12:07Come in.
12:08Sit down.
12:09Oh, well, there's no seats.
12:10We're having a little celebration.
12:11Oh, okay.
12:12There you go.
12:13Great.
12:14There.
12:15There you go.
12:16No, I'm okay.
12:17Thanks.
12:18So, Andy, what fresh hell have you brought to my door now?
12:41Yeah, weird things just happened.
12:43The Home Office have rung me.
12:45They wanted to let you know that your pictures made the news.
12:47Oh, goody!
12:48Yeah, they did try and call you, but they couldn't get through.
12:51Oh, yeah, I know why.
12:52That's because my phone's broken.
12:54Oh, really?
12:55Yeah.
12:56It's really broken, look.
12:58I can't get a new phone or anything.
13:01No, it's just unplugged.
13:02No, no, no, no.
13:03It's broken.
13:13What do you think, Clive?
13:14Is it broken?
13:16Is it broken?
13:20It's so much easier when you're friends first.
13:22My flatmates have met her and they love her to bits.
13:25Great.
13:26Just really, really great.
13:27So...
13:30We're good.
13:31Really good.
13:32Agent Hassler isn't the only one saying farewell.
13:35Agent Grant Brodie has personally escorted Dasha Panchenko onto the tarmac for a private goodbye between just the two of them.
13:47And Agent Hassler.
13:50Hey, guys.
13:51What are you doing?
13:52Having an emotional goodbye?
13:54Yeah, it's a pretty sad day.
13:56Tell me about it.
13:57So many people are going to say goodbye to.
13:59It's the point, Clive.
14:00I...
14:01I...
14:02I got you this.
14:03Oh, you didn't need to get me a bit.
14:05I wanted to.
14:06It's a webcam.
14:07It's a...
14:08Oh, a webcam.
14:09Yeah.
14:10Er...
14:11I just...
14:12It's so that you can chat after she's gone.
14:15Oh.
14:16Oh, Clive.
14:17You're a...
14:18A funny, strange wee bugger but a...
14:21A really kind one.
14:23That's right.
14:24I didn't get you anything.
14:25Bye.
14:26During a quiet period, Agent Church takes a moment to check in on the Twitter storm that Chief Inspector Proctor is currently weathering.
14:41What's going on?
14:42Just avoiding work.
14:44You're being weird?
14:47I'm not being weird.
14:48You are.
14:49What's wrong?
14:50Do you live with five flatmates?
14:57So?
14:58You're almost 30 and you have a poster of the Fast and the Furious on your wall.
15:05I could take it that one.
15:06No, I'm not asking you to.
15:08Like, last night I had to walk through your flatmate...
15:11Sam's room.
15:12Yeah.
15:13Sam to...
15:14He's the bathroom.
15:15He really doesn't care.
15:16He sleeps a lot, so...
15:17No.
15:18No, you're not getting it.
15:19You know, maybe I would have been into this at uni.
15:24But, you know, now I have a job.
15:26I shouldn't be sleeping on a futon with a guy from work.
15:31Just because...
15:32Not just a guy from work, obviously.
15:35But...
15:36It's...
15:37You're more...
15:38More...
15:43It's been a difficult day.
15:45Not least for Chief Inspector Proctor, who's struggling to adapt to her newfound online fame.
15:50Luckily, Agent Church arrives with a welcome distraction.
15:53Hey.
15:55You okay?
15:56Are these to come for you?
15:57Have you checked them for anthrax?
15:58Oh, I wouldn't worry.
15:59It makes the flowers last longer.
16:04Oh!
16:05From Nigel Farage.
16:06How thoughtful.
16:07To my darling, beautiful, hard-working wife, sorry you've had such a horrible day.
16:18Your lucky husband, Fergus.
16:20That's really sweet.
16:21One for Phil.
16:22As Agent Hassler delivers the last of his farewell notes, Agent Mansour arrives to show his appreciation.
16:41Hey, man.
16:42Hey, man.
16:43Just read this.
16:44Oh...
16:45It's really nice.
16:46Uh...
16:47You're welcome.
16:50Are you okay?
16:53Yeah, I just had a bad day.
16:58So...
16:59If Andy and Tarek get married, then I should come, because I am actually the one who introduced
17:09them.
17:10Because on, uh, Andy's first day, I was the one who said, Andy, this is Tarek.
17:16So...
17:17I should be there.
17:18I mean, I'll definitely get invited.
17:28Please.
17:30Hey.
17:31I'll make you a promise.
17:33When I become a policeman, I won't hit on Andy.
17:37Thanks, man.
17:38Yeah.
17:39It's going to be tough for her, though.
17:41Yeah.
17:42Because I'll be so strong.
17:44Come on, man.
17:47Because they train you up.
17:52Yeah.
17:53I think they have a special gym.
17:56It's like a police gym.
17:59All the policemen get strong.
18:02It's like...
18:03Free weights, like police weights.
18:06Mm-hm.
18:07Machines that, like, simulate, uh, like, physical, like, running.
18:13But it's just old so that you can get all strong and women like it when you're strong.
18:23Meanwhile, Agent Brodie sits and reflects on Dasha's departure for the Ukraine.
18:28According to the visa laws, she can't re-enter the country for another three months, which is, er...
18:36It's frustrating.
18:38But, er...
18:40Like my wee mum said, er...
18:42What's meant for you won't go by, so...
18:45Yeah, I think she'll...
18:52She'll come back, eh?
18:54OK.
19:08As Agent Brodie tries to remain positive, Agents Church and Mansoor are also a little subdued as they prepare to leave for the evening.
19:15OK, guys.
19:16Have a great weekend.
19:17You too.
19:18Yeah.
19:19Hey.
19:20You ready to go?
19:21Yeah.
19:22Hey, Andy.
19:23Hey.
19:24All right?
19:25Come on.
19:26Is that Tarek's girlfriend?
19:27Looks like it.
19:28Oh, that's why he's been so happy lately.
19:31Ah, love.
19:32Yeah.
19:33Fancy a cheeky drink at the Rose and Crown?
19:34No, I'm going to go home.
19:35Oh, sure.
19:36Yeah.
19:37Cool.
19:38As the weary agents head home after another hard day, they look back and reflect on an incredible
19:45few weeks at North End Airport.
19:48With familiar faces.
19:49Is it cool to be a king?
19:50Yeah.
19:51Yeah.
19:52Cool.
19:53As the weary agents head home after another hard day, they look back and reflect on an incredible
19:59few weeks at North End Airport.
20:05With good times and bad.
20:09Good.
20:10You look like a vicar.
20:14With familiar faces.
20:15Is it cool to be a king?
20:16Yeah.
20:17And new ones.
20:18It's disgusting.
20:19From the brave.
20:20We have an actual asylum seeker.
20:21I knew you once less.
20:22To the others.
20:23With fun.
20:24Good.
20:25And games.
20:26With difficult moments.
20:27About what you do!
20:28Grow up!
20:29And happy ones.
20:30It's my birthday.
20:31Welcome to the UK.
20:32For our team of agents, Linda Proctor, Andy Church, Tarek Mansoor and Grant Brodie.
20:38No matter how stressful things can get in the office, it's just another day on the borderline.
21:03But for one agent, times are changing.
21:12Today marks the start of Clive Hassler's departure from the team.
21:16Having said his goodbyes, it's time to move on.
21:20Still working!
21:21Sorry.
21:22Sorry.
21:23Sorry.
21:24I'm leaving.
21:25I'm becoming a policeman.
21:26It's a big deal for me.
21:27I'm walking overtime.
21:28I'm just trying to leave.
21:29No doubt about it.
21:30I'm on my way.
21:31Take it over.
21:32I'm here to stay.
21:37One day he'll be looking, when did you come away?
21:38Don't try to tell me.
21:39Stop.
21:40No doubt about it.
21:41I'm on my way.
21:42Take it over.
21:43I'm here to stay.
21:44One day you'll be looking.
21:45But did you come away?
21:46Don't try and tell me.
21:47Stop.
21:48Stop.
21:49Stop.
21:50Stop.
21:51Stop.
21:52Stop.
21:53Stop.
21:54Stop.
21:55Stop.
21:56Stop.
21:57Keep talking.
21:58Stop.
21:59Cause I'll be taking over today
22:02I'm taking over this little race
22:05I'm on my way to outer space
22:09Drop, drop, drop, drop, drop
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