5 Reasons I Hate You: Arizona Cardinals

KILT-AM / SportsRadio 610

Seth and Sean lay out their best 5 reasons to hate the Texans next opponent: the Arizona Cardinals.

Transcript

00:00Let's get to five reasons I hate you. Cardinals edition. And, um, you know, this is a team we

00:05don't see very often, although we did see them two years ago, but it's an NFC team. Don't see

00:10them very often. And yet not as hard as I thought it would be to come up with five reasons to hate

00:15the Arizona Cardinals. Let's go job. The hatred is the dark side is strong within you. I'm feeling

00:21it. Yes. Yes. Let it flow through you. Young Skywalker. Number five, Rich Gannon. No, not

00:29Rich Gannon. Jonathan Gannon. Nerd. Let's throw Rich Gannon in there too. Oh, for his little two

00:35point card that he carried around in his conversion chart thing he had there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

00:40He's reason five a that we hate the Cardinals, even though I don't think he ever played for them.

00:44Jonathan Gannon already widely hated in the city of Philadelphia. Yes. For bailing, not blitzing

00:49enough. For not blitzing enough and for tampering, for talking to the Cardinals during that. Remember

00:55that was Biflorio's big co-celebrity at one point was the Cardinals tampering with Jonathan

01:00Gannon during this bowl run. I just hate him because he's very nerdy. Like this right here

01:05where he walks up to Rondale Moore on his Gannon's first day in the building and says this to the

01:10wide receiver. What's up? Hey, what's up, man? How are you doing? Good. Good.

01:16Shroom, shroom, shroom, shroom, shroom, shroom. Shots. Explosives. Explosives. You can run.

01:23It's worse now than it was at the time. I like it. Oh, get out of here. It's not five reasons

01:28Seth likes the Cardinals. That's one of those classic things that if he ends up being right

01:35about it, if Rondale Moore were just lighting it up and everything, like this guy just thinks

01:39different. He's just, you know what he is? He's a visual guy. He knows how to speak in visuals.

01:46This made me hate Gannon even more is we played the audio earlier in the show, the very first

01:52series against the Texans in 2023. What happened? An explosive play to Rondale Moore for a touchdown.

01:58He went pew, pew on him. You could hear it in the building. Yeah. That's the problem. I don't

02:03like that. I don't like his, the onomatopoeia he uses for lasers. Yeah. It was like shroom,

02:10shroom, shroom, shroom. Okay, good. And like it came off of a psychedelic urnium. So you hate him

02:15for something at least. Yeah, I do. Okay, good. Uh, number four, Jacoby Brissett. He has a spell

02:21over the Texans. He's five and one against the Texans. I would say the worst, we went through the

02:26game log earlier in the show. We won't go through it again, game by game, but I would say the worst

02:30one was the first one where he was a rookie three weeks into his career and started against the

02:36Texans when he was with the Patriots, Jacoby Brissett and beat them 27 to nothing. The Texans are

02:42actually favored in that game up in Foxborough and he beat them 27 to nothing. You, you and I

02:47workshopped this earlier. This would be way worse than that. If he were to beat them this Sunday.

02:51Oh, it would be a hundred percent worse. And the problem with this is that with Jacoby Brissett,

02:55it's that constant, like, why don't you just suck? Why don't you suck? Yeah. Why are you not?

03:02It would be so easy for you to be a little bit worse than you are. Yes. But he's been in a,

03:06he's been a functional bridge quarterback for much of his year. At times he's played well enough

03:11for people to think, Hey, maybe he could be the guy, but it would be just so much easier for all

03:16of us. If you would just suck, go away. He refuses to do it. Yep. Yep. He's not. He doesn't. And he

03:21seems to have a pleasant enough personality, which annoys me that much more. Can you at least be a jerk?

03:27Can you at least, can you at least be like really cocky or something? I think he's going to get his head

03:31handed to him on Sunday. I think with the, the missing their left tackle, as you pointed out

03:37earlier, they get poor play from their right tackle. Yeah. Um, he, he's unlike my homes and

03:43Josh Allen and Daniel Jones, when he doesn't have a broken fibula, like they can move a little bit.

03:49Jacoby Brissett is a statue. You know, this is the problem. And this is why Daniel Hunter and

03:53Will Anderson won't end up being as the elite sack leaders, no matter how well they're playing this

03:58year, is that teams, teams know that they're facing an offense on the other side of them that

04:04isn't as, uh, it's not, it's not all that threatening. So they play it close to the best

04:09too. They keep in their tight ends. They get the chiefs are keeping in wide receivers to, to help out

04:15on double teams on Daniel Hunter and Will Anderson. Yeah. They're just flat out saying, well, we'll see

04:21what we can do, but we know that you, we know that the Texans offense probably isn't a huge threat to

04:26score a bunch of points. So we'll just, we'll just play safe football. And I think Will Anderson

04:31and Daniel Hunter could have another type of game where they absolutely destroy the offensive line

04:36of the Cardinals, but only end up with one sack between the two of them because the Cardinals are

04:41going to be in bunker mode. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see. We'll find out Sunday. Number three,

04:45reason number three, five reasons. I hate you. Did you know that Jeff Driscoll is on their practice?

04:49Oh, what the hell? Jeff Driscoll is to me, he's one of the faces of the David Cully era. Jeff

04:58Driscoll, backup quarterback, who was at one time categorized by a Texans assistant coach,

05:04the tight end coach, Andy Bischoff as being even more athletic than Lamar Jackson.

05:09Cause no, not more. He was the, there was nobody in his same category other than maybe Lamar Jackson.

05:13Okay. Gotcha. Yeah. That's it. That was a direct quote. He put them up there.

05:17Either way, he put them up. He put those two guys up as the cream of the crop when it comes

05:22to athleticism and speed in the NFL. Yes. And as it turned out, Jeff Driscoll had no lateral

05:26movement, straight line speed, pretty good. Lateral movement. Yeah. Straight line speed,

05:31but ask him to turn or anything. No, he is pure drag. He'd have been a good drag racer. Yes.

05:36He's got big fat tires on the rear, but nothing up front. The Andy Bischoff, by the way,

05:42earmark this for bookmark this for a couple of weeks from now. Okay. Tight ends coach for the

05:46Chargers. Chargers. All right. Okay. It's bookmarked. Remember Jeff Driscoll was a tight

05:52end for the Texans for a while. I do. I do. He was a 10 for the Texans. He was a special

05:56teamer. Yup. Yup. I remember. And I remember that he was a special teamer because somebody

06:00made sure to point out that on one of the Texans, good special teams play, Jeff Driscoll

06:06was out there and it got reported as such. Yeah. I went back and watched. Yeah. There was

06:11no Jeff Driscoll on the field at that moment. Yeah. Somebody, perhaps somebody like a Jack

06:16Easterby hypothetically tried to feed that to somebody in the media who just reprinted

06:22it. Hypothetically. Yeah. And there was no factual basis for it. Yup. Yup. Um, the other

06:28thing, Oh, Oh, I hope he gets in the game. The other thing, go run the Driscoll cat. Please

06:32do the drizzy. The drizzy cat is what I like to call it. The drizzy cat back in the day.

06:37And by the way, Jeff Driscoll, if you were a media member standing in that media area

06:41next to the field, if he was throwing, you had to keep your head on a swivel because

06:45that dude would sail it even against air. I remember in training camp being like, why,

06:49why is this guy on the rock? What the hell is this? It was a, no, it was crazy. Remember

06:54it was the kind of stuff that would happen with regularity. You would like, I might be watching

06:59the line during training camp, but then I would look, I'd see that the ball was gone and

07:04I'd watch and I'd say, Oh, that's a Driscoll. Like I'm not, I didn't even know who was in

07:08a quarterback. I'm like, yep, that's a Driscoll. It was that bad. Yup. All right. Last two

07:12reason. Number two, Monty Austin Fort, their GM. And really this is, this isn't as much about

07:18Monty Austin Fort as it is the Cardinals social media team who put out that completely one-sided

07:23video of the Will Anderson trade, trying to make Monty Austin Fort look like he was just

07:28some Wheeler dealer getting the best of the Texans guy. Yeah. And, uh, and as it turned

07:35out, the Texans won that trade in a landslide, I would say. Will Anderson Jr. is one of the

07:4030 best players in the sport. They did wind up with Paris Johnson, their left tackle through

07:45that sequence of events, but he ain't no Will Anderson. I'll tell you that right now. No,

07:49he's not even playing football this weekend. Not this weekend. He just ducked out. He's

07:53frightened. Yeah. He is hiding behind an injury. Um, reason number one, this is easy.

07:58Um, the DeAndre hop, the sequence though, the year that the Cardinals, that's basically

08:04the year, the Texans became the Cardinals biatch from a personnel standpoint where the

08:10DeAndre Hopkins trade, they completely destroyed the Texans. Not only did they take DeAndre

08:15Hopkins, but the, the resources, the currency they gave back to the Texans ended up being

08:20negative. But Johnson was on a bloated contract and seems like a nice guy, but on a bloated contract

08:26and the second round pick they got was used for Ross Blacklock. Bad. And then JJ Watt going

08:32there, man, saying that you'd rather be an Arizona Cardinal than a Houston Texan. That

08:37hurt at the time, man. Yeah, that was, uh, the, the other part of the, don't blame JJ for

08:42that. Their uniforms, a couple of their uniforms look exactly like the Texans. You hate this part

08:47about them. Yeah. No, it annoys the hell out of me because my, my football dyslexia, it really

08:52gets triggered. And I just, I, I start forgetting that I'm not watching the Texans, especially

08:57this year. That's tough. You know? Oh yeah. The Cardinals haven't been playing well. They're

09:01bad. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so there you go. Five reasons I hate you. Cardinals edition. Boy,

09:06the Jeff, the Jeff Driscoll one really got me. It just brought back bad memories. It was

09:10a bad time in the organization. They're trying to push Jeff Driscoll on us. Like they, they

09:15were onto something. They discovered something telling us how fast he was. And I'm watching him

09:18run and I'm like, he must be awesome on the Mondo surface or whatever, but this is not

09:25football speed. No, no, no, no. That, that was the one where I'm like, how do I include

09:28this? But I'm glad I did. That got you, uh, that got you appropriately heated. I like that.

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