- 8 hours ago
Tv, Allo Allo S1 E07 - The Dance of the Hitler Youth
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00You are probably wondering what I am doing in the larder of my cafe, sitting next to the
00:29brie. Well, I will tell you, I am very fond of brie. Also, my wife, Edith, is a very jealous
00:36woman, and this is the only place I can meet Maria. Now, Maria, well, Maria is in love with
00:43me. So, whenever I can, I meet her ear for a short cuddle and a little nibble at the
00:48brie. Maria, my little cabbage. Oh, René, my spring onion. Have you brought a milking
00:55stool? Yeah. Then stand on it. René, you have started without me. How do you know? Because
01:08there's brie on your moustache. René, will we get married when the war is over? Oh, well,
01:16the bells of victory are still sounding. Oh, René, you are so romantic. Oh, I know,
01:21I know. Oh, are you sure nobody knows we are here? Nobody. Oh, pssst. Oh, no. Do not worry.
01:30It is Michelle of the Resistance. She will repeat nothing. Listen very carefully. I shall say
01:35this only once. Your new radio transmitter is being delivered to the café today. It
01:42will be carried by Monsieur Leclerc, disguised as a cheese salesman. He will be the bearer
01:48of a suitcase containing cheese. How will he carry the radio? He has a false
01:53bottom. Why, then, does he need a suitcase? The false bottom is in the suitcase. The cheese
02:02is in the top. The radio transmitter is in the secret compartment. What do I do with
02:07it? I hide it under the bed of your wife's mother. If I put the cheese under the bed of
02:11my wife's mother, she will end up fighting the mice for it. Then put it in here. But
02:16I've already ordered my cheeses for the week. I will be overstocked. Then make cheese omelettes
02:21or cheese soufflés. Have a fondue party. It is far too late to turn Monsieur Leclerc into
02:27a brush salesman. She's gone? Yes. The resistance. They make these plans, but they do not think
02:35them through. My wife, our time is up. Can you come back tomorrow? Of course. Oh, do not
02:44forget the milking stew. Oh, that girl. Always she is missing. René, you must speak to that girl,
03:10Maria. Always she is kicking off the time. She should not have it off without your permission.
03:17She doesn't.
03:20René, you're wanted in the back room.
03:22Ah. Edith, wipe the bar down. Set an example to the staff, huh?
03:30Hello? Is anyone hiding? Does somebody want me, huh?
03:34Yes, I do. That's my little cabbage. René, my big sprout.
03:43Parsnip. Carrot. Broccoli.
03:46Curly kale. Oh.
03:49When we are too old to make love, we will make wonderful soup.
03:56René, you will marry me after the war is over?
03:58Oh, while the bells of victory are still sounding.
04:04Oh, René, you have a small piece of bruit on your moustache.
04:07Oh, that is because I just had a little bit in the larder.
04:13René, what are you doing with your arms around Yvette?
04:18You stupid woman.
04:20There is only one thing I could possibly be doing with my arms around Yvette.
04:23I am teaching her self-defense.
04:26Those Germans in there, they get drunk and they jump on these girls.
04:29I was trying to teach her how to fight them off.
04:33Now, Yvette, I am a drunken German.
04:36You show my wife what you would do to me.
04:38Are you sure?
04:39Yes, go on. Go on.
04:41Oh.
04:43That is very good.
04:48Show me again.
04:50But a drunken German may attack me.
04:54We would stop serving him before he was that far.
04:59Dear René, always he has me in his mind.
05:03I know this to be true.
05:06Oh, the colonel is in the cafe.
05:08He wishes to have a word with you.
05:09In a little while, my hernia is giving me jip.
05:12I didn't know you had an hernia.
05:15Up to now, I didn't.
05:18This new chap who is running the bar.
05:20Where is twin brother?
05:21From Nancy.
05:23They are astonishingly similar.
05:25That is twins all over.
05:27If anything, the new one is even more charming than his brother.
05:30The one that you shot.
05:34Yes.
05:34I don't think he bears you a grudge.
05:37Quite the reverse.
05:38He appears to be very warm and friendly.
05:41He's even ordering for me my favorite cigars.
05:46Good day, gentlemen.
05:48Helga.
05:49You wish to see me, colonel?
05:51Ah, yes.
05:51I've heard in private.
05:53Lieutenant Gruber, leave us alone for a short while.
05:56René and I have a small matter to discuss.
05:58Of course.
06:01Sit down, René.
06:02Yes, colonel.
06:03Now, tomorrow at midday,
06:07Herr Flick of the Gestapo
06:09will put the painting of the fallen Madonna
06:11with the big boobies on the train to Berlin.
06:16Herr Hitler has told Himmler to pick it up himself.
06:19He is going to give it to Eva for her birthday.
06:22You must get the forgery out of your cellar
06:24and put it in its place.
06:26But I have only just bricked it up.
06:28Oh, well, ten minutes with a pickaxe
06:30and it is yours again.
06:31Oh, also, your new uniforms are in my wardrobe.
06:35Leave them there.
06:36They will come in useful later.
06:37Now, I will tell you what we do.
06:40Tonight, on my orders,
06:42you will close your café
06:43for my private party
06:45to celebrate the anniversary
06:47of the burning down of the Reichstag.
06:49Every year, we have a big binge.
06:53See, and what happens at this big binge?
06:56We drink a lot of beer,
06:58the girls put on clothes like Hitler used,
07:01and then we all do traditional old Bavarian dancing.
07:06The girls have bare knees.
07:11This sounds like a lot of fun.
07:14How does it help us to get back
07:15the painting of the Madonna with the...
07:16While Herr Flick is enjoying himself,
07:19the paintings will be...
07:21switched.
07:22But how can you be sure
07:23that Herr Flick will accept your invitation?
07:26That is where brains come in.
07:28That is why he is a coronel.
07:30Helga will give him information about the party
07:34and tell him he's not invited.
07:36I only have to hint
07:37and he will drag it out of me.
07:41This will arouse his...
07:42This will arouse his suspicion
07:45and he will not be able to stay away.
07:48Ah.
07:49I have just one question, then, Colonel.
07:51Who is paying for this party?
07:53We are?
07:54It is coming out of the Armoured Car Repair Fund.
07:58But, Colonel,
07:59for bare knees,
08:00my girls charge extra.
08:02It will be worth it
08:03to get back the painting.
08:06In that case,
08:07my girls will cooperate
08:08and you shall have my very best attention.
08:10Ah.
08:11You will not be here.
08:12Huh?
08:13No.
08:13Under cover of the party,
08:15you will be at Herr Flick's headquarters
08:16switching the paintings.
08:18Oh, but, Colonel,
08:19that sounds a little bit risky.
08:21The way we will arrange it,
08:22there will be no risk at all.
08:24That being the case,
08:25why do you not do it yourselves?
08:27We have to give the party.
08:28Well, I can give the party.
08:29Ah, but you don't know
08:31old traditional Bavarian dancing?
08:33I could learn.
08:34I'm very quick.
08:34You think so?
08:37Show him.
08:38Oh.
08:39One, two, three.
08:40Well, I suppose it could take time.
08:59Calgar, go advance to Herr Flick
09:01and let him wring the information out of you.
09:04Yes, Colonel.
09:04I see a typical cheese salesman entering my cafe.
09:18Excuse me.
09:20Well, I have three and cheeses.
09:23You will buy my cheeses.
09:25Shut up!
09:26Shut up!
09:27Thank you, cheese seller.
09:31I am prepared to purchase all your wares.
09:34Oh.
09:35Oh.
09:35How very fortunate.
09:37Never before have I had such a good day
09:42for selling the cheeses.
09:44Yes, good.
09:45That means you can go home without delay.
09:50It is I, Leclerc.
09:52Well, I never.
09:57The radio is already connected
09:59and the spare battery
10:01is in the Dutchie Dam
10:03with the knobs on.
10:12The face of that cheese seller
10:14seems strangely familiar.
10:16Ah.
10:17Yes.
10:17Well, it is a very small village
10:19and we do a lot of interbreeding.
10:23I believe you have a luxury for me.
10:26Huh?
10:26Oh, yes.
10:27Yes, a little packet of your favourite cigars.
10:29Yes, I...
10:30Excuse me.
10:32So much travel.
10:33It is most touching.
10:45I...
10:46I do not know this tune.
10:49I do not know it all that well myself.
10:55Cheers.
11:03I beg your pardon.
11:09Pierre is enjoying his new bicycle.
11:12I am glad to hear this.
11:18Who is Pierre?
11:20Oh, he is just a young lad in the village.
11:23Did you give him the bicycle?
11:24No, no.
11:26Why are you telling me he is enjoying it?
11:29Well, there is so little to enjoy these days.
11:32I was just making conversation.
11:34Philippe and Jean are going for a swim.
11:40Shut up.
11:44Mindy.
11:46Are they friends of Pierre?
11:49Well, I expect so.
11:51It's a very small place and there is only one river.
11:54Eloise is expecting a visit from the store.
12:02Oh, dear.
12:04Who...
12:05Who...
12:05Who is responsible?
12:07I expect it is Pierre.
12:10He has the bicycle.
12:14Listen carefully.
12:15I will meet you behind the wood shelf at 1 o'clock.
12:35See you later, then.
12:37You shut up!
12:47Very well, Herr Flick, I will tell you.
12:49I can hold up no longer under the gaze of your penetrating eyes.
12:53The colonel and the captain are holding a party
12:55to celebrate the burning down of the Reichstag.
12:58Ah, the big binge.
13:01Will the girls be dressed as Hitler Youth?
13:04Yes, Herr Flick.
13:05With the bare knees?
13:06You are correct.
13:07In every detail.
13:10I will attend uninvited.
13:13There is nowhere the Gestapo cannot go.
13:16You don't have to tell me this, Herr Flick.
13:21You will also attend?
13:23Yes, Herr Flick.
13:24With the bare knees?
13:26Unless you wish to insult the Führer.
13:28Yes, Herr Flick.
13:31All the time I am seeing your eyes being drawn to that painting.
13:35I am captivated by it.
13:38Examine it more closely.
13:39Yes, Herr Flick.
13:44Do you wish me to examine anything in particular?
13:47Does everything look genuine to you?
13:52Very.
13:53I am going to turn to a secret.
13:55It is a forgery.
13:57No, Herr Flick.
13:58That's the real one.
13:59I am glad you are deceived.
14:03The real one is rolled up in my high Gestapo boots.
14:08This is a forgery I had made some weeks ago.
14:10But Herr Flick, why?
14:12The forgery will go to Berlin.
14:15The real one I will sell after the war.
14:18Why are you telling me this?
14:23Because you will marry me.
14:27I don't know what to say.
14:29You do not say anything until I actually ask you.
14:31Oh, my goodness.
14:35Look at the time.
14:36I'm not going to do that.
14:42Today is your hard day.
14:44I am very conscientious.
14:46I have much paperwork to do.
14:48You will do it tomorrow.
14:50Today, I have other plans.
14:52I have ordered an open staff car and two motorcycle escorts.
14:55Together, we will drive around the countryside
14:59scaring the pants of the French business.
15:04What fun!
15:09It is, Yvette, Maria.
15:14An old woman lies here going weak
15:18for lack of nourishment.
15:21How much longer can I live like this?
15:25Oh, Mama, do not fret yourself.
15:28We are just warming up your onion soup.
15:30Onion soup?
15:32Also, we have for you a visitor.
15:36Soon it will be the angels that are calling for me.
15:42Oh, my God, I am worse than I thought.
15:50I must confess.
15:52Oh, I have cheated.
15:56I have lied.
15:57I have stolen.
15:58And I have had many lovers,
16:00including an alphabetical order.
16:02I have a winner, of course.
16:05This is not a nun.
16:07This is Michelle of resistance.
16:09Oh, a techno-notice of me.
16:13I am delirious.
16:17Where are the British Airmen?
16:19They are hidden where no one can find them.
16:24Hello!
16:24Hello, chaps. Now, listen very carefully.
16:29It is. Why is my bedroom so full of midgets?
16:37Now, listen, chaps.
16:41We've had a chinwag with London, and they've okayed a boat for you.
16:44Oh, good show. When do we leave?
16:47As soon as that bloke Leclerc has forged the papers.
16:50Where is the foyer?
16:52Ah, he's at end, close in the closet.
16:54That is the step of the forged papers for the British Airmen.
17:02Ah, I have finished. Everything is ready.
17:07Good.
17:08Is there anything else?
17:09Not at the moment.
17:11Good.
17:14We'll probably have you away tonight.
17:17Right here, that's it.
17:18I can't help you.
17:24Love's always been my game.
17:29Play it how I may.
17:31I was made that way.
17:34I can't help you.
17:35Men cluster to me like moths around the flames.
17:45I know I'm not to blame.
17:49Lieutenant Gruber.
17:50He's very handsome.
17:52Not you, too.
17:58I should be a lot happier when Helga and Herr Flicker here.
18:06Otherwise, Rennie could find himself in quite a lot of trouble.
18:10Never mind, Hans.
18:12We have a alibi.
18:13We are here.
18:14Fanny!
18:15I've brought you a onion soup.
18:22Oh, no, no, no.
18:24What are you...
18:25What are you doing?
18:27Edith and Rennie are away on a secret mission.
18:31And they may never return.
18:33I am obeying my daughter's last request.
18:38Oh.
18:38What is this?
18:40Keep an eye on the till.
18:43I could keep the eye on the till.
18:46Yes.
18:47But you will also have your hand in the till.
18:51What am I to do?
18:55I can't help it.
19:06And now, fellow officers of the victorious German army,
19:12in accordance with our ancient Bavarian tradition,
19:15I give you, for your entertainment,
19:18Cornelia, Erika, Hilda, Inga, Yvette and Maria,
19:25the Hitler Youth!
19:27Hooray!
19:28Hooray!
19:28Hooray!
19:29Hooray!
19:59Bravo!
20:12Hello.
20:18Our girls make very good boys, do they not?
20:21Yes, indeed. One could easily be fooled.
20:27Herr Hitler!
20:28Herr Hitler!
20:29Do not let the fact that I am a senior member of the Gestapo
20:36and did not receive an invitation to your gathering
20:39stop you from having a jolly time.
20:43Will you have permission to carry on, Herr Flick?
20:46Of course.
20:47Albert, music!
20:48Who is having the drinks?
21:05Help yourself, Herr Flick. It's home free.
21:08This is good.
21:14Well, in hell, we have bad news.
21:17Like you, Herr Flick has had made a forgery
21:19of the painting of the Fall of Madonna
21:20with the big boobies by Van Klump.
21:22This forgery hangs at this moment
21:24on the wall of his apartment.
21:27Then where is the real Van Klump?
21:29Rolled up in Herr Flick's high Gestapo boot.
21:32And then I will switch a forgery with this forgery.
21:35And we will be back where we start.
21:36We must tell Renny.
21:38Ah, it's too late.
21:39He has a disguise and a pass
21:42and by now he's outside the very gates
21:44of Herr Flick's headquarters.
21:54There is a sentry!
21:56Of course there is a sentry!
21:57Oh, my knees have turned to vichy water!
22:00Pull yourself together!
22:01Remember, we are German officers.
22:13If we believe it, they will believe it.
22:18I don't believe it.
22:22Lift foot first.
22:24Quick, match.
22:29Halt!
22:31Sentry, what is the password?
22:35Düsseldorf, Herr Captain.
22:37Good.
22:38Let us pass.
22:45You see?
22:46All you need is confidence.
22:49Beginner's luck.
22:53Halt!
22:55Düsseldorf.
22:57Bremerhaven.
22:59No, Düsseldorf.
23:00The reply is Bremerhaven.
23:04I'm dead to see you on your toes.
23:05Why have we halted?
23:21I was just getting into the swing of it.
23:23The cushion which I am wearing under my jacket
23:25to make my stomach look like the Colonel's
23:27is slipping down towards my crutch.
23:29I will help you to adjust it.
23:31Stop.
23:36Stop.
23:37We will arouse the suspicion of the sentry.
23:40No, we will not.
23:41We are German officers.
23:43They do a lot of this sort of thing.
23:45Hurry, then.
23:50Everything is back in position.
23:52Good.
23:54Ready?
23:55We will take much.
24:02Halt!
24:03Düsseldorf on Bremerhaven.
24:05I am supposed to say Bremerhaven.
24:08They have said it for you.
24:10Well, you're not supposed to say it for me.
24:12You're taking away my job.
24:13Do not argue with a superior officer.
24:18He...
24:18He...
24:18He...
24:19He...
24:20He...
24:21Hyena.
24:23Hyena!
24:24Hyena!
24:31What is going on?
24:33This fool is preventing our entry.
24:35We have a parcel for her fleek.
24:37He's out.
24:38We will put it in his room.
24:40I will put it in his room?
24:41Hi, Littler.
24:45Hello.
24:47You follow me.
24:53We have lost the painting.
24:56This is all your fault.
24:57Big dog.
24:59Hyena.
24:59What is this?
25:06Bravo!
25:11And now, gentlemen, we...
25:17It is cabaret time at the Café Rennais.
25:19And tonight, we bring you the toast of Paris.
25:22Whoa!
25:23And the star of the Folly Bougie in 1919,
25:27the exotic...
25:29Mademoiselle Fanny.
25:30I am called Cockett.
25:48The girl they can't forget.
25:51I drive them wild with desire.
25:55And when I lift my dresses high.
26:00Should I take off my chemise?
26:05Oh, la, la, la.
26:09For as you know...
26:11I think we have here what is known as a party pooper.
26:14Do not make a noise.
26:23My feet are killing me.
26:26It is all that goose-deppy.
26:28Don't move.
26:29Do not turn on the light.
26:32It is Michelle.
26:33I've been waiting for you.
26:35Now listen very carefully.
26:37I shall say this only once.
26:38There has been a change of plan.
26:42The British airmen must leave for the coast tonight.
26:44You will be their escort.
26:46I have here for you a German uniform.
26:48I am already wearing a German uniform.
26:52What?
26:53Take my word for it.
26:55And keep your hands off my medals.
27:00Where's your waffin' uniform?
27:02I enjoy it.
27:06How will the airmen be disguised?
27:08The same as I am.
27:13Hello there.
27:16Was that all right?
27:18Jolly good.
27:19Now all you have to do is keep as cool as the old cucumber
27:21and we'll do the talking.
27:23If you want us to sing any songs,
27:25we both know underneath the spreading chestnut tree.
27:29With actions.
27:30Chest.
27:31Nut.
27:32See.
27:32No.
27:33I don't think that's one of Hitler's favourites.
27:35We have a message for you.
27:39The truck is on the back.
27:41Good.
27:42Did anyone see you leave?
27:43No.
27:44When your mother started to sing,
27:45everybody shut their eyes and put their fingers in their ears.
27:49Good.
27:49We go now.
27:50Just a minute.
27:51We have a business to run here, you know.
27:53No.
27:56No.
27:58Not the dance of the milching peacock.
28:01Mother.
28:02Put them back up.
28:05Oh, God.
28:06Come on, let us get out of here.
28:08Well, what happens next?
28:26We march to the beach.
28:31What happens next?
28:33We march to the beach, old chap.
28:34By the left, quick, march.
28:50Nearly there, Cast Air.
28:51I'm wrapped in these sorts.
28:58Halt.
29:00Dusseldorf.
29:01That was yesterday.
29:03What is the word today?
29:05Munich.
29:06Good.
29:07Well done.
29:09Halt.
29:10Keep going.
29:11We are taking the Hitler Youth
29:12for running and jumping
29:14and playing leapfrog on the sense
29:16and swimming in the sea.
29:19This day we will have a master race.
29:21With pneumonia.
29:22Right, here is the boat.
29:37Let's run it down to the water.
29:40Halt.
29:41Right, chaps.
29:55In you go.
29:56Um, before we start rowing,
29:58don't you think we ought to wait
29:59for a signal from the submarine?
30:02What submarine?
30:03A submarine that's going to take us back to England.
30:06Who said anything about a submarine?
30:09Well, there has to be a submarine.
30:12You don't expect us to row 20 miles in that thing.
30:16Now look here, you fellows.
30:18A jolly brave French fisherman
30:19risked his life to get you that boat.
30:22I mean, look at it.
30:24It's got a dead crab in it.
30:27Waves!
30:27You couldn't drive that thing on that.
30:30I get seasick on the boating lake
30:32at Regent's Park.
30:33Well, are you going or not?
30:35No.
30:38Well, are they going or not?
30:40No.
30:41I mean, no.
30:43So what are we going to do then?
30:46The sentry is watching us.
30:48I think a quick game of lipfrog
30:50and then back to the cafe.
30:52Okay.
31:05I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:06and then back to the cafe.
31:07I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:07and then back to the cafe.
31:08I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:09and then back to the cafe.
31:10I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:10and then back to the cafe.
31:11I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:11and then back to the cafe.
31:12I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:12and then back to the cafe.
31:13I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:13and then back to the cafe.
31:14I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:14and then back to the cafe.
31:15I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:15and then back to the cafe.
31:16I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:17and then back to the cafe.
31:18I think a quick game of lipfrog
31:19and then back to the cafe.
Be the first to comment