00:00This is highly inappropriate.
00:02Well...
00:04Now we're just going to start scolding you.
00:06Thanks, Mom.
00:07My questions are too easy.
00:11So, that's the live.
00:22Oh, thank you.
00:24Okay.
00:25Preliminary evidence.
00:27I lost my first tooth by biting into a Dorito on the subway.
00:32I fainted on my first day of sleepaway camp.
00:36When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I fell asleep singing Avril Lavigne.
00:40Who was your childhood crush?
00:42Who was my childhood crush?
00:43What was the name of the sleepaway camp?
00:45Mohawk.
00:46It was a YMCA camp.
00:47Okay.
00:48You fainted?
00:49On my first day of sleepaway camp, yeah.
00:51I think that one's true.
00:52First day of sleepaway camp.
00:53What flavored Doritos?
00:55The regular, what do they call them?
00:56What are the regular ones?
00:57The red ones.
00:58The red ones.
00:59You're right, you're right.
01:00You're in the regular ones.
01:01I mean, also, I was like six, so...
01:02You were like six?
01:03First grade?
01:04Six?
01:05Where were you?
01:06The subway.
01:07What train was it?
01:08I don't know!
01:09What line was it?
01:10Ask Mom!
01:11Where were you headed?
01:12Where was I headed?
01:13Where were you coming from?
01:14I have no clue.
01:15Interesting.
01:16I was six.
01:17Oh yeah.
01:18What'd you do with the tooth?
01:19Hmm.
01:20Put it under my pillow?
01:21My questions are too easy!
01:25That's totally believable!
01:26Oh no!
01:27That's what anyone would say!
01:28You're the bad cop.
01:29Alright, well...
01:30I'm like the confused, like what was it again?
01:33I'm like can you write it down?
01:34What was the name of the Avril Lavigne song?
01:36Probably Girlfriend.
01:38I mean, her whole Best Damn Thing album.
01:40Oh.
01:41Fuck.
01:45Something fishy about Avril Lavigne.
01:47Whatever that one was.
01:48Yo, I was feeling that!
01:49Really?
01:50I'm feeling that.
01:51Just because you didn't ask questions?
01:52I think it's that one.
01:53Alright.
01:54We think there's something fishy about the Avril Lavigne one.
02:01Damn, how'd they get that?
02:02Really?
02:03Yo, I had no idea!
02:04Are you serious?
02:05Yeah!
02:06No, I'm not lying!
02:07That's just intuition!
02:08That's what I'm saying.
02:09Because I have no idea, like...
02:10Because you didn't ask questions about it!
02:12Yeah, I'm just...
02:13I'm going on vibes?
02:14Oh, because you got it right!
02:15Excuse me for going on vibes?
02:26Preliminary evidence.
02:27I've given myself at least three tattoos.
02:31My first pet was a lizard named June.
02:33I thought about being an astrophysicist in high school.
02:38What were the three tattoos that you gave yourself?
02:41It's kind of embarrassing.
02:43Say it out loud!
02:44Um, okay.
02:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:46If you don't feel comfortable, that's okay.
02:47But then we're just gonna believe that that's the lie.
02:48Those are my tattoos.
02:49Okay.
02:50So, that's the lie.
02:51What made you want to answer?
02:54Um, because I wanted to study the planets, and I don't know.
02:59I just...
03:00I mean, this lasted like two weeks, and then I realized how much math was involved, and
03:03I was like, never mind.
03:04I'm gonna stick with that.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Wait, what kind of lizard was June?
03:07I actually don't know.
03:09Green.
03:10I was very...
03:11It was my first pet.
03:12I was like...
03:13Where are your four tattoos?
03:14Three.
03:16Oh.
03:17Oh, shit.
03:18Oh!
03:20On my feet, and my hips.
03:23Oh, okay.
03:24One.
03:25And where did you keep the petunia?
03:27It was like a proper petunia.
03:28I don't know where petunia is, but there's like a...
03:30Oh, what was the name?
03:31June.
03:32Okay.
03:33There's like a proper tank, like stuff in it.
03:37Just such a good act.
03:38That was good.
03:39Wow.
03:40I think it's three, I think.
03:41Yeah.
03:42And the astrophysicist, absolutely.
03:43Yeah.
03:44June.
03:45She probably existed.
03:46Yeah.
03:47Yeah.
03:48Tattoos?
03:49Tattoos.
03:50All right.
03:51Is it tattoos?
03:52Wrong.
03:53It was June.
03:54It was June.
03:55Fuck!
03:56June!
03:57Yeah, no, I gave myself all my tattoos except one.
03:59Did you have June?
04:00No, I never had it.
04:01You never did?
04:02That was totally believable.
04:03Really?
04:04Because I really felt like I did it bad.
04:05See, I was...
04:06Can you hear my heartbeat right now?
04:07I was thinking small lies because that's what I did.
04:08Like I changed like one thing.
04:09Right.
04:10Can I have a cigarette and a fedora?
04:11Ah.
04:13Or not, thank you.
04:27Preliminary evidence.
04:29I once threw a pitch on the mound at the old Yankee Stadium.
04:33I told a casting director where I was going to college and she said, good, you need it.
04:38My middle school friend and I created a game of Strip High Five and someone ended up totally
04:42nude in Midtown.
04:43Where was the audition?
04:44The audition was, I think like Christie Street Casting?
04:48When was it?
04:49I think I was 18.
04:50What was your friend's name?
04:51Uh, the friend who was naked?
04:53Victor.
04:54Where in Midtown?
04:55Oh God, it was by where I lived.
05:01So it was like Times Square.
05:02What is the Strip High Five?
05:03What's the high five?
05:04How do you play the case?
05:05Oh, so basically you go up to, you have to go to a random person on the street and you're
05:09not allowed to like say anything, like anything other than just say high five.
05:13And if they don't give you a high five, you have to take off an article of clothing.
05:16Okay.
05:17This is highly inappropriate.
05:19Well.
05:20Now we're just going to start scolding you.
05:22Yeah, exactly.
05:23Yeah, yeah.
05:24Thanks mom.
05:25What's the first one again?
05:26Uh, I threw a pitch at the old, on the mound at the old Yankee Stadium.
05:29We never talked about this.
05:30But I think I did it in 2006 or seven.
05:34Something small has like changed.
05:36And what's the second one?
05:37Or it's the second one and we're like total assholes.
05:39What's the second one?
05:40Casper told me that I wasn't good enough, which for some reasons you guys believe that one.
05:46I feel like it's, I feel like it's the first one.
05:51I do too.
05:52Huh?
05:53But I, I might not be, I might be totally wrong.
05:54Why do we feel that?
05:55I don't know.
05:56We think the lie is the first one.
06:03Yeah.
06:04Yes!
06:05Yo!
06:06Yes!
06:07Yes!
06:08I think, I think, I think we're onto something.
06:09Yeah, I know.
06:10I'm just going to say, I think we're onto something.
06:11Wow.
06:12You said it and I was like, that's it.
06:13You threw a pitch there, right?
06:14Or no?
06:15Oh, never?
06:16But I did go with all the kids to Monument Park.
06:17Did you run on the field?
06:18And yeah, I ran on the field and stuff.
06:19Yeah, because I did that in the field.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Okay.
06:22Okay.
06:23Cause like, that happened, but you didn't.
06:24Damn it.
06:25That was really good.
06:26Damn.
06:27Thank you so much for watching.
06:28And please don't forget to go watch The Summer I Turned Pretty on Prime Video Season 3 out
06:31now.
06:32Woo!
06:33Say hello, please.
06:34You're welcome.
06:36My boardroom of the Month-Ital projection company is very human, and people are vulnerable.
06:39And there had no idea what the time was about, and there is no reason for it, so it wouldn't be is very huge.
06:45And far from a day on my perspective, there hasn't become a level of mystery, so that I can just say anrud Sci-Fi bill.
Comments