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  • 2 days ago
First broadcast 5th November 1979.

Arthur gets Terry to mind Albert Stubbs, an ex-bank robber who has just been released from jail.

Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Nicky Henson - George
Ann Lynn - Rose
Tony Selby - Jack
Kenneth Cope - Albert Stubbs
Tony Allen - Removal man who hides Arthur's Mini in his van
Terence Creasey - Bar Patron
Hal Galili - Terry's sauna client
James Greene - Barman

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Come on, Chit.
00:11Ah.
00:18Hey.
00:20I pay you for protection, right?
00:22Yeah, that's right.
00:23And you're pretty good, they tell me.
00:26Yeah, well, I do my best.
00:27No, listen, you must be some damn near genius.
00:30I mean, I'm going to be sitting in there in the sauna,
00:33and you're going to give me 100% protection
00:36sitting out there with the dames, eh?
00:38That's fantastic.
00:40Well, I just thought...
00:42They're not paying you to think, kid.
00:45In the old days, they knock you off in the barbershop.
00:47Today is the sauna.
00:50Come on.
00:57Hello, Arthur.
01:00Everything fixed?
01:02All set.
01:06OK.
01:08Let's take it one more time.
01:10You log the rope over the back wall at exactly five past three.
01:14Got that?
01:15And for God's sake, have some mattresses handy.
01:17It's a long way to jump from the top.
01:18On the other hand,
01:21seeing as I'm out of here legit next week,
01:22better not bother.
01:27Who's minding me, Arthur?
01:30Nice bloke.
01:31Friend of mine.
01:31You'll get on.
01:32He may be nice, Arthur, but is he good?
01:34Charlie Melors isn't noted for his sense of humour.
01:36His idea of fun, stamping on spiders.
01:38One of the best.
01:39He'd better be.
01:40I'm too young for concrete wellies.
01:42Who is it?
01:42His name's Terry, strong as an ox and almost as handsome.
01:48I think I'm going to faint.
01:51Don't worry, kid.
01:53They say cleanliness that's next to godliness.
01:58So is death.
02:05Oh, God.
02:12Come in.
02:19It's open.
02:22Oh, God, Bennett.
02:26Are you deaf or what?
02:28What?
02:32Hey, what's all this?
02:34Arthur, if you value your front teeth,
02:37I'll talk about something else.
02:39I'm senior Gambetti with love and gratis.
02:41I'm going to recommend you to his friends.
02:43Before you know where you are,
02:44you'll be minding Sophie Loren.
02:48Listen.
02:49When you fixed me up with this maniac eye-tide,
02:51did you know that he was a sauna and massage freak?
02:54Get on.
02:55Yeah.
02:56For the last seven days,
02:57I've been sweating cods in a steam oven
03:00while a woman was trying to strangle me.
03:03Woman?
03:04She made King Kong look like Shirley Temple.
03:07Now, did you...
03:07Come on, own up.
03:08Did you know this?
03:09Yes or no?
03:09I did not know this, Terry.
03:11I swear I didn't.
03:13On my sainted mother's grave.
03:17Now, normally this would be okay for me, Arthur.
03:20But I happen to know that your old mum
03:21is alive and well and living in Frinton.
03:23Yeah, well, never mind that.
03:24I've got something else for you.
03:25Right up your street.
03:26For this, my son, you hardly need to get out of bed.
03:29Good.
03:31Great.
03:31Who is it?
03:36Chris Bonington?
03:38Cushy isn't in it.
03:40Pull the other one.
03:41It plays A Jude.
03:43His name's Stubbs.
03:44Albert Stubbs.
03:45He's just finished a fourth stretch for bank robbery.
03:47You're not listening to me, are you, Arthur?
03:49Look, his otto's got 15 years apiece.
03:51All Stubbs did was drive the car and wash the loop.
03:54And here we come to what they call a nub, Terry.
03:56Bury it.
03:57All 50 grand.
03:59What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
04:02Now, look, when he comes out, his problem's going to be
04:04there's going to be people who want to know where he's put it.
04:06Well, aren't you going to ask me who?
04:09I've got to give it to you, Arthur.
04:11You are a trier.
04:13One of the gang was Charlie Mellors.
04:16Remember what the papers called him?
04:19Yeah.
04:20The Dillinger of Dagenham.
04:22No, he's not the problem.
04:23It's his wife, Rose.
04:24She's been asking Charlie for years where it's all in,
04:26but his lips are sealed.
04:28Marriage vows are not what they used to be, Terry.
04:30I thought you said something about Cushy.
04:32Look, your mind stubs for one night, maybe two at the most.
04:35Just give him time to arrange some corner of a foreign field
04:38that is forever mercy.
04:39Pick him up at the nick, bring him back here,
04:41lock the door, he's crowned court and Jack and Ori all the way.
04:44Straight up, you'll never earn bread more easily.
04:48Yeah, but it's well bent, innit?
04:50Well bent?
04:52You know I'd never touch anything that was even a bit bent.
04:54Now, look, what are we doing?
04:55We are protecting a man who has paid his debt to society
04:58from the unscrupulous clutches of others.
04:59Tell me that we aren't.
05:01I don't like it.
05:03I've heard about that Rose Mellors.
05:04She's bad news.
05:06Oh, forget her.
05:07By the time she finds out, you'll be long gone.
05:09She doesn't even know he's coming out.
05:11Nobody does.
05:12Except us.
05:17A couple more like these over there, OK?
05:31Rose!
05:32Hi, Rose!
05:35Rose!
05:39Here, Rose!
05:40What is it, Jack?
05:42Guess what?
05:43You joined the Bolshoi Ballet.
05:45You what?
05:46What do I have to guess?
05:48Stubbs is coming out.
05:50You sure?
05:51Tomorrow.
05:52Here, I'll have that.
05:53Sorry.
06:13Sorry.
06:18Who's that?
06:48There he is.
07:07Oi, you Stubbs?
07:09Yeah.
07:10Yeah, we'll cut the bleeding cabaret and get in.
07:16Come on, Jack, we're gonna lose him.
07:23Watch it!
07:26Get a move on, Jack.
07:28Oh, shut up, I'm doing my best, ain't I?
07:31Look, you're losing him, move it!
07:34You, Terry?
07:36I hope so, pal, for your sake.
07:46Nice one, Terry.
08:03Easiest bread you'll ever earn, he said.
08:05No-one else knows he's coming out.
08:24Tasty.
08:26Yeah, well, it's home.
08:28Here, Tom.
08:29Uh, Terry.
08:30Got any booze?
08:32Booze?
08:33It's quarter past nine in the morning.
08:35Not in Hawaii.
08:37Erm...
08:39What about a cup of tea?
08:42Listen, nearest thing I've had to a drink in the last four years is half a pint of aftershave to Christmas before last.
08:47Yeah, hold on.
08:48Ah, not exactly the Ritz cocktail bar, is it?
08:53No, not exactly.
08:54Here, Tom.
08:55Terry.
08:56You, uh, got any numbers?
08:57Numbers?
08:58Yeah, you know, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, sane and all.
08:59What are you on there?
09:00Oh, blimey, O'Reilly, lad.
09:01Numbers!
09:02You know, Turing!
09:03Swedish masseurs, correction and poetry reading a specialty.
09:04Pimping comes extra.
09:05Stick it on the bill.
09:06Four years, sunshine.
09:07Now, listen, pal, I'm not a drink.
09:08I'm not a drink.
09:09I'm not a drink.
09:10I'm not a drink.
09:11I'm not a drink.
09:12I'm not a drink.
09:13I'm not a drink.
09:14I'm not a drink.
09:15I'm not a drink.
09:16I'm a drink.
09:17I'm a drink.
09:18You're a drink.
09:19I'm a drink.
09:20I'm a drink.
09:21I'm a drink.
09:22I'm a drink.
09:23What are you doing on the bill?
09:24Four years, sunshine.
09:25Now listen, pal, it's time we had a little chat.
09:28Pubs are still open at eleven o'clock.
09:31Listen and listen, good.
09:33While you're here, there'd be no pubs, no nookie, no nothing.
09:36Oh, stroll on, Tommy.
09:38You're getting closer.
09:40It's Terry.
09:42Come on.
09:43Say it after me.
09:44Terry.
09:46Terry.
09:48Better.
09:49I know nothing.
09:50Security.
09:51know nothing. Security. Oh, terrific. I get lumbered with Carruthers MI5. No, I'm just
10:00the silly sod who agreed to mind you. And for some daft reason, I take my job seriously.
10:05So while you're here, which I hope is for a very short time, you will stay inside and
10:10there'll be no visitors. Got that? Might as well have stayed in prison. Yeah, but you
10:14didn't, did you? Four years is a long time. Eternity's longer, Sunbeam. And that's where
10:19you'll end up if Charlie Mellor's old woman gets her hands on you. Listen, Rose and me,
10:23we used to be like that. Oh, yeah. Who was on top? Listen, that was her this morning. Sure
10:30as guns are ironed. And she'll try again. Don't that worry you. Quite right, sport. I'm in
10:39your hands. Whatever you want. Uh, Arthur said you're fixing up somewhere abroad. Soon as
10:48I dig up the letters, yeah. Yeah, well, I don't want to know about that, okay? I'm
10:52strictly a minder. As far as I'm concerned, I'm just here to see that you don't cut
10:56yourself while you're shaving. Hello? Terry. Hello, Arthur. Everything go all right? Yeah,
11:09he's here. Uh, just one thing. What? Rose Mellor's was there. No. Yes, with some muscle. And the
11:20Dagenham Gold Pipers, for all I know. Look, what you do? Put an ad in the Daily Mirror. But you've got
11:24him away. You've got stubs away all right? Yeah, he's here. Good boy. Um, Arthur. Yeah? Has
11:35he got all his marbles? Albert? Sure. Why? Well, he don't seem too concerned. And people
11:41in this situation aren't worried. Well, they worry me. He's probably still a bit stir-crazy.
11:46All that freedom's gone to his head. Look, he's asking me for a bit of how's your father. Well,
11:51prison does that to a bloke, Terry. Don't take offence. No, girls. Oh. He wants a lady. Well,
11:58I don't suppose it'll kill him. Well, no, but... Yeah, carry on the good work. Must go now. Bye-bye.
12:03Hold on, Arthur. Listen, mate. I...
12:05All right.
12:18Hold on.
12:21Hold on.
12:30there we are dear that's 150 lovely rose that piece if that don't bring your fella back he's
12:50not worth it well then Jack who was it who's got him it wasn't Packers mob they didn't even know
13:03was coming out today then who was it could have been the law I don't think so but spread the news
13:14around the street there's a century for who finds him yeah it could have been a bank copper you know
13:18maybe one who done a bit of a dodgy just spread the word Jack I'll do the rest
13:48Oi Stubbsy Stubbs
13:58oh no
14:04it's a Charlie Mellors and Bernie Packer two of the finest blokes it's been my privilege to know
14:12come landlord fill the flowing bowl a glass of your excellent ale
14:31ain't it best 52 governor 52 I suspect you've made an unwitting error there landlord 32 perhaps
14:40where have you been lately squire where the average wage was 50p a week oh it's like that
14:46is it yes and if I'd known what was happening to the nation in my absence I'd have stayed inside
14:4952 pence for a pint of bitter it's daylight robbery oh well you'd know more about that than me oh my
14:5618 ribs trays amuse auntie Charlie'd appreciate that one so you knew Charlie Mellors and Bernie Packer
15:02yeah we're in my hair yeah the Dillinger of Dagenham what how one comes to despise the gutter press period
15:10are you work with us on them only still with the best that's my motto
15:23right what's your game oh landlord allow me to introduce my associate
15:28who's your friend may well ask come on your toes we're going oh so now the end is near
15:35and as I reach the final cut all right Egypt there son say that again he's been telling me he's a hard
15:42man between the ears come on we're going
15:45hey what's that go back to sleep it's safer but get his shoes off the bed
16:12oh I was dreaming I was back inside it was Tuesday best day of the week cauliflower cheese for dinner
16:19yeah it's one goodie after another in Nick in it you done any time listen what you tell Mickey
16:26who Mickey down the boozer oh nothing you do that again son and I'm gonna give you a slap
16:33do you understand yeah yeah sorry it's been a long time yeah so you keep saying
16:38right then back to the competition and if you know the answer give us a ring right now on 246 8071
17:00the first correct answer wins a t-shirt and a car sticker
17:03I'll just repeat the question what famous picture finishes with the lines
17:08mother of mercy is this the end of Ricco
17:11let's hear from you now on 246 8071
17:15easy little Caesar
17:17well well well well we have a movie expert with us today
17:47the winning answer came through in 15 seconds would you believe and here is the lucky fella
17:53hello who's this
17:55hello
17:56your name sir
17:58Albert
17:58Albert Stubbs
18:00all right Albert what film ended with the line
18:04mother of mercy is this the end of Ricco
18:06Little Caesar
18:07starring Edward G. Robinson
18:09made in 1931
18:11directed by Mervyn Leroy
18:13fantastic you must be in the film business Albert
18:17no nothing like that last four years I've been in the nick just got out today
18:21that's you
18:21well well well it's your lucky day and no mistake
18:24tell me where you live Albert and we can send you on the t-shirt and the car sticker
18:28flat 4 14 Langford Road
18:31you are out of your bleeding tree
18:33no no I always was good on films
18:35all right then come on what's your bloody lark
18:37what do you mean
18:38I know
18:39it's one of Arthur's little jokes in it
18:41I'm on candy camera
18:42no no no it's nothing like that
18:44I just didn't think that's all
18:45sorry old son honest
18:46it's just like being out and all
18:48I can't handle it yet
18:49not for a bit
18:50you know what I mean
18:50what you doing
18:51well thanks to your competitive spirit
18:54we've got to get out of here
18:56oh yeah records
18:57this is a recording
18:58there must be thousands of Albert Stubbses around
19:03oh yeah
19:05they've all done four years
19:06they all came out today
19:07and they're all nutters
19:08and I'm looking after every sodding one of them
19:11hello
19:12yeah hello
19:13is Arthur there please
19:15who?
19:15Daly, Arthur Daly
19:16I'm afraid he's out at the moment
19:18oh well if he comes in
19:19could you ask him to phone Terry please
19:21it's urgent
19:21Terry?
19:22yeah no
19:22tell her
19:23goodbye
19:24all that cauliflower cheese
19:30has scrambled your brain
19:31so um
19:34we're not moving then?
19:36no
19:37I think we should
19:38oh and where should we go maestro?
19:41fault knocks
19:42wait
19:44don't you want to see
19:46whether you made the news?
19:49don't let go
19:50yes
19:55yes thank you
19:57we heard it too
19:58so did everyone else
20:00thanks for calling
20:02the what?
20:05the reward?
20:07come on
20:07only 100 just for listening to the radio
20:10jack you look like desperate Dan Wavernia
20:15go and serve
20:16hello
20:24hello
20:24yes
20:26yes we heard it as well thanks
20:28yeah well
20:30no
20:31don't bother
20:33we'll call you
20:34up yours too darling
20:37oh my god
20:40it's alright jack
20:44I'll serve the lady
20:45I've got a job for you
20:48come on
20:51quick
20:53come on
20:54sit down
21:05let me show you that channel
21:06oh now that's not fair
21:22I want him
21:23no no you don't
21:25yes I do
21:26I'm sorry pal you can't have him
21:27out of my way Doris
21:29now now now
21:30you know the rules
21:31I'm minding him
21:33now if I was to let you have him
21:35well my reputation would be short wouldn't it
21:37I wouldn't get a job anywhere would I
21:39now
21:40you know that don't you
21:41look I can explain
21:43you
21:44sod this for a game of soldiers
21:49where do you think you're going?
21:52leave off I've had enough
21:53you've had enough listen
21:54do you want some at all?
21:57no look I can explain everything
21:59yeah
21:59would you go through to the conservatory please gentlemen
22:14wholesalers
22:19what are you trying to do ruin me?
22:32there you are
22:33there I am what?
22:36you what?
22:37who's your girlfriend?
22:38oh leave off Rose
22:39it's Stubbs isn't it?
22:41oh Jack
22:42look
22:43I can explain everything
22:45in other words
22:48this ain't Stubbs
22:49not in other words Jack
22:50those are the words
22:52who's this then?
22:54Martin Borman for all I care
22:56now beating me up won't help
22:58you want money on it
23:00wait a minute
23:01put him down a sec
23:02alright my love
23:08what's your real
23:11George
23:12George Wilson
23:14oh
23:15alright then George
23:18calm down
23:19now then
23:22why don't you tell me
23:24why you've been going around
23:25calling yourself
23:27Albert Stubbs
23:28he'll wear that watch out Albert
23:35can't we get started
23:36it's still daylight
23:37it won't be when we get there
23:39look you've waited four years
23:41another four hours
23:42isn't going to hurt
23:42take your coat off
23:44there's another one in the fridge
23:46this is a recording
23:56Mr Arthur Daly is out of prison
23:58you can't wait to get back inside
24:16can you Albert
24:16I've done my bird
24:17they can't do you twice
24:18for the same job
24:19the moment you touch that money
24:21you're handling stolen property
24:22you should have got a job
24:24in the library my son
24:25boned up on the law
24:27I knew a fellow once
24:29did a wages snatch
24:31found a nice quiet field
24:32shoved the tank
24:33in a deep hole
24:34just before he was nabbed
24:35just like you
24:36came back five years later
24:37to dig it up
24:38and?
24:39got done for obstruction
24:40what?
24:41where he buried it
24:42was now under the fast lane
24:43of the M4
24:43I really need to hear that
24:47here's another fellow I knew
24:51as a conversationalist Arthur
24:52you leave a lot to be desired
24:54just trying to pass the time
24:55how's your mucker doing?
24:57oh don't worry about Terry
24:58he knows his job
24:59what's this?
25:17I've been looking everywhere for you
25:19why is your blur an answer phone?
25:20what you doing here?
25:22what you want first Arthur?
25:24the bad news
25:24or the really bad news?
25:26what's happened?
25:27well open the door
25:28it's Stubbs
25:33what's happened?
25:36I've lost him
25:37lost him where?
25:38Arthur the man is mad
25:40it's a pedigree basket case
25:42you know what?
25:43he only got his name and address
25:44announced on the bleeding radio
25:45who's this?
25:49ah
25:49um
25:51Albert
25:52Albert's Stubbs
25:56look I'm sorry
26:00I'm not quite with you mate
26:01the uh
26:01the real one
26:03the real one?
26:06yeah
26:06well who's the geezer
26:08I've been minding?
26:09ah
26:10well uh
26:11well
26:11come on
26:12who's that clown
26:12who's been sending me
26:13round a twist?
26:14decoy
26:15decoy?
26:17decoy
26:17oh this is interesting
26:20this is very interesting
26:22well no you see
26:23Albert here
26:24knew there'd be some people
26:25waiting for him
26:26when he came out
26:26so he did a deal
26:27with another bloke
26:28who looked a bit similar
26:29who was coming out
26:29on the same day
26:30so that he could sort of
26:32er
26:32draw their fire
26:33so to speak
26:33and where
26:35so to speak
26:35do you fit in?
26:37coordinator
26:38that's all
26:38where's Wilson?
26:40who's Wilson?
26:42George Wilson
26:42your man
26:43one of the best
26:44con men in the business
26:45Arthur
26:48I should smack you
26:51now you've got no right
26:53to use me like this
26:53I suppose it never
26:55occurred to you
26:55to let me in on it
26:56no no listen son
26:57I'm sorry
26:57but I was following
26:58the need to know principle
26:59the what?
27:00well the less you know
27:01the less you can tell
27:02it's all a rage in MI5
27:04I see
27:06well okay
27:08working on your principle
27:10all you need to know
27:11is that half an hour ago
27:12Rose Mellor's minder
27:13hit me on the back of the head
27:15and snatched your
27:16George Bleeding Wasse name
27:17who probably by now
27:19is on his way
27:19to the great con game
27:20in the sky
27:21telling them where
27:22you bloody live
27:23no no
27:24George wouldn't do that
27:25are you kidding?
27:26have you seen her minder?
27:28he'd make Arpo Marks talk
27:30no
27:30George wouldn't do that
27:31he can't
27:32he don't know where I live
27:33they know your name
27:34you're in the book
27:35ex-directory
27:36what you?
27:38yeah
27:38kept getting all these
27:39obscene phone calls
27:40from women
27:40get the car
27:42we're off
27:43hold on
27:44nobody's going anywhere
27:46what do you say?
27:47look
27:48you set me up
27:49minding a geezer
27:50right
27:50and I lost him
27:51now I dare say
27:52to one of the world's
27:53great coordinators
27:54this don't mean a lot
27:55or of course
27:56to the bird man
27:57of Alcatraz
27:58but to me
27:58it does
27:59you see Arthur
28:00first of all
28:01I don't like being
28:01made a fool of
28:02secondly
28:02I hate being
28:04bopped on the head
28:04and thirdly
28:06I don't like
28:07losing clients
28:08so until he comes back
28:09we're not going anywhere
28:11okay?
28:11you're going to stop us
28:12are you?
28:14how do you feel
28:15about cauliflower cheese
28:16every Tuesday
28:17for another ten years?
28:19right
28:20so until I find George
28:22I'm going to phone you
28:24every half an hour
28:24and if I get a recorded message
28:28or no answer
28:29the next number I dial
28:31is 999
28:31oh dear
28:36is that all you can say?
28:38oh dear
28:38I should have told him
28:40he's awfully pissed off
28:42I'm surrounded by morons
28:44oh
28:51I bet you're Terry
28:54no no
28:55I'm just a window cleaner
28:56I'm Mrs Mellors
28:59you can call me Rose
29:01you've got something
29:05of mine Rose
29:05George is all right
29:07don't worry
29:07he and Jack
29:09are having a chat
29:10back at my place
29:11that wasn't very nice
29:15was it?
29:15I'll pay for it
29:16thank you
29:18just as soon as I collect
29:19what I'm due
29:20I was just going to
29:21put the kettle on
29:22you take the weight
29:23off your feet
29:24you've had a busy day
29:25how's your head?
29:29wonderful
29:29listen
29:31why don't you
29:31just halve it
29:32with stubs
29:33do you think
29:36I'm after copping
29:37the lot?
29:38aren't you?
29:40do I look like
29:40a dishonest person
29:41Terry?
29:43well do I?
29:45no Rose
29:46you look incredibly
29:48honest
29:48I bring my children
29:51up to share
29:51and share alike
29:52that's all I ever
29:54wanted
29:55so what's the
29:56problem?
29:57Charlie
29:58my husband
29:59well?
30:01well when he
30:02finds out
30:02Albert's carved
30:03up the money
30:04with me
30:04he'll go
30:05spare
30:05Albert knows
30:07that
30:07he wouldn't
30:08be safe
30:08in Guatemala
30:09oh
30:11you see
30:12he thinks
30:12that I'll
30:12spend it
30:13all
30:13before
30:13he and
30:14Bernie
30:14Packer
30:14get out
30:15no
30:15listen
30:17why don't
30:17you just
30:17put it
30:18in a
30:18building
30:18society
30:18that's
30:19what I
30:19told him
30:20invest it
30:21I said
30:21keep
30:22head of
30:22inflation
30:23but he
30:24never was
30:24much of
30:25an
30:25investing
30:25fellow
30:25Charlie
30:26so you
30:28see the
30:28score
30:28yeah
30:29yeah
30:30you're
30:32very good
30:33looking
30:33aren't you
30:34still I
30:36suppose
30:36you know
30:36that
30:37well a
30:38man's
30:39got to
30:39believe
30:39in
30:39something
30:39hasn't
30:40he
30:40what do
30:42you know
30:42about
30:42flowers
30:43they're
30:45plastic
30:46and they
30:46come in
30:46vases
30:47oh
30:47quite a
30:48little
30:48pursey
30:49thrower
30:49aren't
30:49you
30:49but what
30:51about
30:51flowers
30:52well
30:53I run
30:54this
30:54gardening
30:54centre
30:55it's a
30:56nice
30:56place
30:56need
30:58someone
30:58to help
30:58me
30:58manage
30:59it
30:59it's
31:00good
31:00money
31:00it's
31:03tempting
31:03how's
31:05business
31:06bloomin
31:07hello
31:13Arthur
31:13yes
31:14Terry
31:14it's
31:15me
31:15we're
31:15still
31:16here
31:16how's
31:17it
31:17good
31:17hello
31:18this
31:23bloke
31:23of yours
31:24Terry
31:25yeah
31:25what's
31:25he like
31:26sort
31:26of the
31:26earth
31:26you know
31:27what I
31:27mean
31:27can you
31:27trust
31:27him
31:28to do
31:29what
31:29he could
31:30turn me
31:30into
31:30Rosie
31:31Miller
31:31just
31:31for the
31:31hell
31:31of it
31:31she's
31:32got
31:32quite
31:32a
31:32persuasive
31:33manner
31:33when
31:33she
31:33wants
31:33nah
31:35he
31:37wouldn't
31:37do
31:37that
31:37nah
31:41not
31:42Terry
31:42now
31:55then
31:55love
31:56where's
31:57this
31:57Arthur
31:58daily
31:58live
31:58you
32:02give me
32:02George
32:02and I'll
32:03tell you
32:04deal
32:06hey Terry
32:16how long
32:16are you
32:16going to
32:17keep
32:17this
32:17up
32:17I mean
32:17the joke's
32:18a joke
32:18Arthur
32:18look
32:19just shut
32:20up
32:20and listen
32:20for a while
32:21is somebody
32:31at the shop
32:31nah
32:34it's
32:34no
32:34one
32:35no
32:35how do you do
32:45that
32:46oh
32:46it's
32:46just
32:47a flu
32:47come on
32:48she'll
32:48go
32:48you
32:54on your toes
32:55it's
32:57all right
32:58Jack
32:58it's
32:58all right
32:59you've
32:59got to go
32:59to Arthur's
33:00he's got
33:01your money
33:01now here's
33:01the address
33:02no hanging
33:03around
33:03you've got to
33:03go around
33:03there
33:04immediately
33:04take my
33:04car
33:05it's
33:05just
33:05outside
33:05when you
33:06get
33:06there
33:06park
33:07outside
33:07Arthur's
33:07house
33:08and put
33:08the keys
33:08in the
33:09exhaust
33:09pipe
33:09all right
33:09go on
33:10swing
33:10your up
33:11we've
33:12just
33:12gonna
33:12let him
33:12go
33:12like
33:13that
33:13now
33:15you've
33:15got
33:15to
33:15be
33:16very
33:16quiet
33:16you
33:18are
33:18I'm
33:18very
33:19angry
33:19with
33:19you
33:20you
33:20broke
33:20down
33:20my
33:21door
33:21you
33:21hit me
33:21when I
33:21wasn't
33:22looking
33:22now one
33:23of these
33:23days
33:23you're
33:23gonna
33:23go over
33:24the top
33:24and I'm
33:25gonna have
33:25to teach
33:25you a
33:25lesson
33:26I told
33:26you love
33:27I'll pay
33:27for all
33:28the damage
33:28Rose
33:29he's
33:30balmy
33:31look no
33:32more messing
33:33about
33:33I'll get
33:34my side
33:34of the
33:34bargain
33:35yeah
33:35that's
33:36true
33:36what
33:36about
33:37yours
33:37where's
33:37Albert
33:38you
33:38gonna
33:38believe
33:39him
33:39Rose
33:39I always
33:40believe
33:41what
33:41fellas
33:41tell
33:41me
33:42when I
33:42first met
33:43Charlie
33:43he told
33:43me
33:43he was
33:44working
33:44in
33:44banking
33:45Rose
33:46right
33:46Arthur
33:46of
33:47fashion
33:47Rose
33:48I'm
33:50not
33:50gonna
33:50tell
33:50you
33:50where
33:50Arthur
33:51lives
33:51what
33:52I'm
33:53gonna
33:53take
33:53you
33:53there
33:53that
33:55way
33:55Tarzan
33:55if
33:55I
33:56don't
33:56deliver
33:56we
33:57can
33:57have
33:57some
33:57fun
33:57all right
33:58oh
33:59certainly
33:59round and
34:03around the
34:03bleeding
34:04houses
34:04yeah well
34:06it's not
34:06far now
34:07you said
34:07that half
34:08hour ago
34:08here
34:09yeah
34:09yeah
34:10and then
34:11first left
34:12and then
34:13first right
34:14first left
34:17that's this
34:19hand
34:19here
34:20watch
34:21look
34:22for the
34:23party
34:23why don't
34:23you just
34:24watch the
34:24road to
34:24drive
34:25you wouldn't
34:27be having
34:27me on
34:27would you
34:28where now
34:29there
34:29right
34:30this could
34:32be the end
34:33of a beautiful
34:33friendship
34:34we'll still
34:35have Paris
34:36sweetheart
34:37that's it
34:39just up here
34:40on the left
34:40thank you
34:42James
34:43this will do
34:43nicely
34:44what floor's
34:53he on
34:53it's
34:54hold on
34:54there they are
34:55that's Arthur
34:56and that's Albert
34:58are you sure this
34:59time
35:00yeah that's him
35:01no mistake
35:01where are they off to
35:03I'll give you two
35:04guesses
35:05I'll tell you what
35:07Rose
35:07if you were to
35:08follow them
35:09I think all your
35:10troubles would be
35:10over
35:11come on Jack
35:12be careful
35:13I'll tell you
35:43All right, lads.
35:50Cheers.
36:03All right, Stubbsy, come on.
36:04The buggy man's gone.
36:13Arthur said this was your idea.
36:22Yep, that's right.
36:23I'll tell you what, my decoy's better than yours.
36:29I'm charging danger money for this, Arthur.
36:33Well, in overtime, at least.
36:36Keep trying, George.
36:37Where are we going?
36:40Let's call it a mystery tour.
36:43Oh, Walton Green's down the road.
37:03Tell you what, I wouldn't have been surprised
37:06if there wasn't a bleeding great housing estate here.
37:08You and your mates have got a marvellous sense of humour.
37:11Come on.
37:13I knew a bloke once.
37:19Came back to dig up some money.
37:20Yeah, and it was under the M4.
37:22No, no, nothing like that.
37:23No, he dug it up all right, what was left of it.
37:25What do you mean?
37:27Mice.
37:29Oh, yeah?
37:30Yeah.
37:31It's in the Guinness Book of Records.
37:33Most expensive mice nest in the world.
37:35Lined with 40,000 quid.
37:36Come on.
37:39Come on.
37:39it's got to be it away you go then we'll take it in turns yeah no way I've stuck my neck out
38:08enough for you anyway you need the exercise
38:10they're gonna clock something's wrong soon Arthur they got to
38:22we're half way to bleeding Luton just keep him in sight Jack
38:38why don't you send up a flare so everyone know we're here we'll open it at your place oh yeah
38:50I suppose you'll put Charlie Mellors and Bernie Packer share back later will you I'll look after
39:02it for them I bet you will rather you than me mate of course big enough and you hold them
39:08it's 50 grand in there I heard it was 60 and the bloke who washed it took 10 in commission
39:1810 grand Gordon Bennett talk about robbers robbing and robbers I had no choice had I the money with
39:25Nick was in brand new tens he changed it into used oncers that's why I needed a big box have you ever
39:29seen 50,000 quid and one pound notes no not recently come
39:59isn't it lovely it'd be even lovely when it's out of here how am I gonna shift it you need a sack
40:10leave off I look like bleeding Santa Claus well that as they say pal is your problem but it leaves
40:16here fast right now in fact but what am I gonna carry it in we'll give you a hand Albert I've got to get
40:26that door mended anyone can walk in here oh Terry I should have your luck how's that well I mean you've
40:33been here and all with the money fantastic and there was Jack when he found out you put us on a wild old
40:39goose chase saying how he was gonna reach down your throat grab hold of your knees and turn you
40:44inside out I had to close my ears yeah well he's always had a vivid imagination young Jack in it
40:51yeah still as we're all here with the money we'll forget all about it you know I'm a dead man Rose
40:57Charlie's gonna kill me over this the weather's nice in Brazil this time of year Albert give Ronnie
41:03Biggs a ring you can dust down on his veranda have you got any old grocery bags dear something to put
41:09this lot in arms is it then Rose you're getting close Albert you're warm thirds I'll take Charlie's
41:18share and I'll put Bernie's in the woolwich be a nice little nest egg when he comes out Charlie's
41:23not gonna like this he's gonna be mad as hell I shouldn't be surprised if we get someone to have a
41:27go at you Rosie no he won't not when I tell him tell him what whether you copped a lot of course oh
41:33Rosie you wouldn't tell him that Terry what's all this well well old home week well I'll say goodbye
41:54everybody oh anybody want any flowers or plants I'll give 50% off the friends it's all right Jack I'll take that one
42:03Now Rose what about me?
42:09Terry I want you to know that what happened this afternoon between us was the loveliest most wonderful
42:17experience in my life and I'll never forget you
42:24I meant the door
42:29you didn't
42:45Terry
42:48two bottles vintage shampoo
42:54stole on that was sparkly Nigerian vintage shampoo transport a lot of transport petrol lunch
43:00Havana cigars
43:01with you Rose Mallers and inflation it was hardly bloody worth it
43:12thank you
43:13and groceries petrol four cans of Guinness the big ones half a dozen phone calls and a pot of tea and one shovel
43:24tell her then Albert now look after yourself and be very careful a lot of very shady customers about
43:33time I've paid George I'll be out of pocket on this one
43:36yeah and bought a few pints
43:38come on they're open
43:39I don't know why I bother to help people
43:41with no appreciation
43:43no it's like the man said innit
43:45you can't win them all
43:46that's a bit of wisdom that is Arthur
43:49Arthur
43:51Arthur
43:51still your round
43:53gentlemen
44:00Nicky
44:01this may amaze you
44:03but Mr. Daly is going to buy a drink
44:05so we want two pints of best
44:06two whiskey chasers
44:08a cigar sir
44:09one large vodka
44:10slimline
44:11one lager
44:12finito
44:12you've got the longest pockets
44:15and the shortest arms
44:16and I've ever seen
44:17yeah
44:17who's your all
44:19I'm in
44:19mate
44:20leave it out
44:21what was that all about then
44:23do I ask you when you're watering the beer
44:25thanks
44:29well Mr. D
44:31to crime
44:33cut that out
44:34hey just a minute
44:35not these ones
44:36what
44:37these
44:38they're no good
44:39eh
44:39what's the matter with them
44:41what do you mean no good
44:42well those are the old ones aren't they
44:44so
44:45oh you wouldn't have noticed Mr. Rockefeller
44:47dealing only in twenties
44:48but we changed over once
44:49these aren't legal tender anymore
44:52since when
44:53since June the first
44:54why not
44:55well they were all pulled in weren't they
44:57what am I going to do with all these
44:58it's the truth
45:00have you found Captain Morgan's treasure or something
45:02um
45:02are you trying to tell me we can't spend it
45:05what you do is
45:07you step down the bank of England
45:08you fill in a form
45:09and they'll change them for you
45:11if you're lucky
45:12oh dear
45:15oh dear
45:17oh dear
45:18I'm bloody glad you can see the funny side of it
45:21no it's quite simple Arthur
45:23all you've got to do
45:25is step over to the bank of England
45:27fill in a few farms
45:28and they'll give you the money for it
45:30don't know where you've got all this lot anyway
45:32they're nearly all out of circulation
45:33I haven't seen one for ages
45:34what's the matter Terry
45:37I'll tell you what
45:39here
45:41for charity
45:42Arthur
45:44you can go and fill in a few forms
45:48and you can go to the bank of England
45:50I don't even know where it is
45:51I think I'd like to go home
45:54I don't know
45:54I don't know
45:59I don't know
46:00but my friends
46:01don't know
46:02I don't know
46:03but my friends
46:03don't want to help
46:04you
46:05also
46:05try everything
46:06because it makes you work
46:07like
46:08and when you minister
46:21it's anti-crombination
46:22and I will not KATRIC
46:22think
46:22think
46:23that's notوق
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