- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Hello, everyone, and welcome to Bobby's World.
00:03Today's show is about making new friends.
00:05So before we start, I want to tell them
00:07about one of my new friends.
00:09Well, go ahead.
00:10My friend Mary, she had a little lamb.
00:13I know, with fleece as white as snow.
00:16Right.
00:17And everywhere that Mary went,
00:19I know, the lamb was sure to go.
00:23No, because Mary drove, and the lamb got car sick.
00:26So she had to go by herself.
00:28See, you don't know everything.
00:30Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.
00:58Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.
01:00Romans 4, ashton you,
01:02Can't place racist, disclaimer,
01:19THE END
01:49Oh, for porn sakes, Bobby, just make do.
01:58Can't you see that I'm busier than a one-legged tap dancer on ice skates?
02:03I take time to ask her what that means, but I'm really hungry right now.
02:07Here you go, Bobbo!
02:09Thanks, Uncle Phil.
02:11Hey, sis. Come here, take a look.
02:14There's a moving van at the old shimmelman place.
02:16Well, let's just have a look-see and for borrowing a cup of sugar.
02:22We're going to have some new people in the neighborhood.
02:25New people? Where do they come from?
02:28Now, there will be new and improved Barbies.
02:35Thanks to me, Dr. Hedrick, and I could beat...
02:40Oh, I wish I could improve this Don Hedrick.
02:48Oh, I'm scared, Captain Squash. He's going to make a monster out of me.
02:59Don't worry, Bobby. The doctor's obviously crazy.
03:06Or not.
03:07Behold, Bobby.
03:12See you.
03:16Phew. He's not a monster.
03:19No, but I'm smarter and stronger.
03:22I always remember to say please and thank you.
03:25And my favorite food is vegetables.
03:28Ah!
03:30Come on, Captain Squash.
03:32You've got to play a spot for this insanity.
03:35Right-o, Bobby.
03:39Hey, tweet brains.
03:46How about leaving something for the rest of us?
03:48Hey, Uncle Ted.
03:49Dickie and Phlegm got free past the Hurl World.
03:52Can you drive us?
03:53Sure thing, Derek.
03:53Whoa. Oh, no. Hold the phone, Derek.
03:57We've got a problem, Ooski.
03:59The twins and I have Mommy and me...
04:00Well, Mommy and us this morning.
04:03Oh, no. No, sorry.
04:10Nobody will be home to watch Bobby.
04:12You're just going to have to take him with you, don't you know?
04:16Mom! No!
04:18No way!
04:19Not the dweeb!
04:21What?
04:22What did I do?
04:25Well, for crying in the mud, cheer up, hon.
04:28You're going to Hurl World with your big brother.
04:35Yay!
04:36I don't even know what Hurl World is.
04:38But I'm going to love it, because it's a place where big kids go.
04:43Aw, thanks for letting me sit in the back with you, Derek.
04:46Yeah, yeah.
04:47So here are the rules.
04:49No giggling.
04:50No skipping.
04:51No dumb questions.
04:52No going to the bathroom a million times.
04:54No asking for anything.
04:56No little kid stuff.
04:58And no talking to my friends.
05:01Got it?
05:02Uh-huh.
05:02Can I ask you a question?
05:04Bobby?
05:05Just kidding.
05:08Now get in the front.
05:10Okay.
05:10I didn't want to be in the back anyhow.
05:12One for Recurgetron, please.
05:25Sorry, kid.
05:27But I'm afraid you'll have to wait about ten years.
05:31That's how tall you have to be to ride this ride.
05:39You gotta let him on.
05:40If he can't go, I can't go.
05:44Next.
05:49It's the coolest ride in the park.
05:52The whole reason I came.
05:54Isn't there some little, little big guy stuff we can do?
06:01I can't believe it.
06:03You're even too little to ride the spin-up cups.
06:08You're useless.
06:08Oh, yeah?
06:13Well, who needs this stupid place anyway?
06:22Sorry you had such a crummy time at Hurl World, Bobbo.
06:26Must have been rough.
06:27You didn't even get to throw up once, huh?
06:29I hate being little.
06:32You'll grow out of it, Bobbo.
06:34Don't worry, buddy.
06:35Things will get better.
06:36All you gotta do is remember to keep your chin up.
06:39Ow!
06:40Oh, somebody ought to tell Uncle Ted that keeping your chin up stuff can be kind of dangerous.
06:45Hi, Bobbo.
06:50You wanna play hide-and-seek?
06:52No.
06:53How about ring around the rosy?
06:54No.
06:55Wanna come over to my house and play in the sprinklers?
06:58No!
06:58I don't wanna do any of that little kid stuff anymore.
07:03Why not?
07:03Cause I'm sick of being little.
07:06I wanna be big!
07:11Tosh.
07:13Tosh.
07:15Tosh.
07:15Tosh.
07:16I wanna be bitter.
07:17I wanna be bitter.
07:19I wanna be bitter.
07:20Tosh.
07:26Yippee!
07:27I'm throwing!
07:34Look, Roger.
07:36I can take a drink.
07:37And no one has to hold me.
07:41Over here!
07:43Pass me the ball!
07:50Yes!
07:51Let's go, Roger!
07:56It's okay, boy.
07:57Let's just be in bed.
08:01So, am I big enough to ride your stupid ride now?
08:09Actually, I think you're a little bit too big.
08:12Those are words I never expected to hear.
08:14Bobby.
08:15Hi, Bobby.
08:16Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, wake up.
08:19Wake up there now.
08:21Honey, honey, it's breakfast time.
08:23And I've got a whole new box of Captain Squash cereal just for my baby boy.
08:29Doesn't that just sound nummy-tumber, Sam?
08:32No!
08:32I don't want kid cereal anymore.
08:35I want big people's breakfast.
08:38I...
08:38I wanna have what you're having.
08:41You're doing it!
08:43A trout and cream corn omelet?
08:45Yeah!
08:46Yo, you sick.
08:47What?
08:48Cause the way I see it, bean sick is for sissies, bada-bing, bada-boom.
08:52Who... who are you?
08:54I'm Matney.
08:55I'm nine.
08:57I'm Bobby.
08:58I'm...
08:59I'm Bobby.
09:00Hey, you wanna come over to my house?
09:02We just move in.
09:03We got lots of big empty boxes.
09:05Sure.
09:06Great.
09:06Let's go.
09:07Wait.
09:07I have to ask my mom.
09:09Yo, yo, yo.
09:09You're putting me on, right?
09:11No.
09:12I'm...
09:12I'm supposed to.
09:13Ah, give me a break.
09:14That stuff's for babies.
09:16A real guy does what he wants, when he wants.
09:20Really?
09:21Believe it, baby.
09:22Bada-bing, bada-boom.
09:23So, how comes you asked your mom for permission to come over here?
09:29Uh, cause I...
09:30Cause I felt like it.
09:32Bada-boom, bada-bing.
09:34Hey, I like your attitude.
09:36You're a rebel, baby.
09:37Just like me.
09:38Wow, your room is really big.
09:42Yeah, ain't it?
09:43This was gonna be my parents' room, but I called dibs.
09:47And look.
09:48Wow.
09:50Your own bathroom.
09:52Hey, I'm my own man, right?
09:54See this?
09:55Never been used.
09:58Wow.
09:59Maybe I'll keep an alligator in the tub.
10:02Your...
10:02Your parents are...
10:04Parents are gonna...
10:05Gonna let you have an alligator?
10:06Hey, who asks parents?
10:09I get to pick my own everything.
10:12Don't you?
10:13Well, just my nose.
10:16Sheesh.
10:17Well, sometimes a scab.
10:20If my mom...
10:20If my mom is not looking.
10:22Hey, hey, hey, look.
10:22If you're asking me,
10:23it sounds like you're living in some kind of jail or something.
10:26It does?
10:29Mommy!
10:30Mom!
10:30I've been thinking.
10:31Can I have an alligator to keep in the bathtub?
10:34Oh, for the love of Mike, Bobby.
10:36That's a big N-O, don't you know?
10:39Okay, then.
10:39Can I have your room?
10:41What?
10:42My friend Anthony has his parents' room in a tub,
10:45and he's gonna put an alligator in it.
10:47Oh, yeah.
10:48And if Anthony jumped off a bridge,
10:49would you jump off a bridge, too?
10:51Why do parents always ask that bridge question
10:54to try to confuse you?
10:55Is Anthony that new little neighbor boy?
10:57He is not little.
10:59He's big.
11:00And his parents never say no.
11:03Bada-bing!
11:03Bada-boom!
11:04Bada-what?
11:09Bobbo, quick!
11:10In the living room!
11:11Creature with a thousand butts is on.
11:14Cut in, hurry, Uncle Ted!
11:16I'll bet I know something you've got time for.
11:19How about some noogies?
11:21Sorry, Uncle Ted.
11:22I don't do noogies anymore.
11:25I'm big now.
11:26Bada-bing!
11:26Bada-boom!
11:27Bada-who?
11:28Hey, Bobby!
11:31Can you get the front door for me?
11:34Okay.
11:35In a minute.
11:36Whoa!
11:36Whoa!
11:37Whoa!
11:39Bobby!
11:40What?
11:40Can't you see I'm playing here?
11:43Sheesh.
11:44That doesn't, mister.
11:45You're going up to your room right now.
11:47Whoa, whoa!
11:50Better get washed up there now, hon.
11:52Dinner's almost ready.
11:55I don't want to eat now.
11:56Oh, oh, hold the phone.
11:58I got potato fakes, tuna loaf, and herring balls.
12:02Now you be my good little boy and go worship.
12:05Yo!
12:06Mom!
12:06I said I will eat when I will eat.
12:11Bada-bing, bada-boom.
12:12Okay.
12:13That does it.
12:14You bada-bing, bada-boom yourself right up to your room now.
12:19Okay.
12:24Lucky for her, that's where I was going to go anyway.
12:31How come when you're hungry, everything reminds you of food?
12:35Hey, Dweeb, boy, am I full, and your piece of pie tasted great.
12:41You ate my pie?
12:43What do you care?
12:44You didn't want dinner, right?
12:46You're a tough guy.
12:48You're a big-time rebel.
12:51Yep, that's me.
12:52I'm a rebel.
12:53Kid Rebel.
13:03Hey, kid, where you going?
13:06Anywhere I want, anytime I want.
13:10Kid Rebel.
13:12Please, Kid Rebel, you gotta stop.
13:15You gotta start listening to your parents.
13:17You can forget that, baby.
13:20But I'll never forget ya.
13:22Kid Rebel.
13:24He can't be taught.
13:25Kid Rebel.
13:27He can't be taught.
13:29He's on a mission.
13:30He don't need permission.
13:33Cause he's Kid Rebel.
13:37Kid Rebel.
13:39Kid Rebel.
13:41Kid Rebel.
13:42That's my name.
13:50Don't wear it out.
13:52Hey, brat boy.
13:53Mom wants to know if you're ready to come downstairs and behave yourself.
13:58No!
14:02Who are you looking at?
14:03You looking at me?
14:05You looking at me?
14:06Stop looking at me.
14:07I growled while I was sleeping.
14:17I know I did.
14:18I know I did.
14:20Ah!
14:21Yeah.
14:22Now that I'm a big guy, I guess I better get rid of all my little guy stuff.
14:27Uh-oh.
14:28Captain Squash.
14:30So, Bobby, where have you been lately?
14:33I've been worried about you.
14:35I haven't seen you for days.
14:37In fact, ever since that new kid, Anthony, moved in.
14:40It's-it's Anthony.
14:42Why don't you ask him how he spells it sometime, Bobby?
14:45Uh-uh.
14:46I'm-I'm gonna be big now.
14:48Yeah, I'm gonna be big now.
14:49So, I don't-I don't think we can be friends anymore.
14:53Don't say that, Bobby.
14:54Not even in jest.
14:56But I'm your hero.
14:59I know.
15:00And-and I'm gonna miss you, Captain Squash.
15:03But-but a big guy's gotta do what a big guy's gotta do.
15:08What about all the good times, Bobby?
15:10All the intergalactic adventures?
15:12The victories over evil?
15:13Surely they meant something to you.
15:15Well?
15:16Hey, that was then.
15:21This is now.
15:22Get over it.
15:23Bada-bing, bada-boom.
15:25Sorry, Captain Squash.
15:28Good morning, Bobby.
15:37Morning.
15:38Okay.
15:39Clean sleep.
15:40Are you ready to sit down and be a gee-golly good little mansy boy?
15:44No!
15:46I-I don't wanna be a good little boy.
15:49I wanna go outside and play.
15:53All right.
15:53Go outside.
15:54But you, young man, you're not getting anything else to eat until lunch.
16:00Is-is that clear?
16:01Mm.
16:02Hey, hey, don't you sheesh us, young man.
16:06Oh, for the cry.
16:07I-I can't-I don't even know him.
16:10I just-I-what is the heckin' going in there?
16:13Oh, here.
16:13Light bulb.
16:14You know, it's that new boy, Anthony.
16:16He's the problem, don't you know?
16:18Well, Martha, I-
16:19Howard, I want you to go over there right now,
16:22and I want you to give that boy's father what for right now than yet.
16:25But, honey-
16:26No!
16:28Now.
16:29I don't mean to mind.
16:33So, you're having a tough time being a big guy, huh?
16:36Well, it's making me kinda hungry.
16:40Oh, I got that covered.
16:42Ta-da!
16:43Sugar donuts and fish jerky.
16:45The breakfast of champs.
16:46Oh, sugar donuts.
16:51But-but I'm not supposed to.
16:54Hey, you're supposed to do whatever you wanna do.
16:58Bada-big-bada-boom.
17:03Hi.
17:05I'm Howard Generic.
17:06B-Bobby's-Bobby's father?
17:08Do you have, uh, do you have a minute?
17:10Sure, come on in.
17:11But, if my mom and dad found out that I was eating this stuff,
17:17I'd be in a lot of trouble.
17:19Just tell them what I tell my folks.
17:21Don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue.
17:25Hmm.
17:26Got any more fish jerky?
17:28Hi.
17:29So, that's-that's pretty much the story.
17:31I think I got the picture.
17:34And me!
17:36Uh, stay here.
17:38I gotta go.
17:39You pulling that tough guy stuff again?
17:44What's the matter with you?
17:46I'll show you bada-big-bada-boom, pal!
17:51Sorry we had to meet like this, Mr. Generic.
17:54Generic.
17:55Uh, tell him, Antony.
17:57Uh, sorry, Mr. Generic.
17:59Generic.
18:00Yeah, me-me too.
18:01I-I mean, uh...
18:02Call me Howard.
18:04I don't care.
18:06I don't need anybody.
18:07Anybody, not even Antony.
18:09There's lots of things that I can do all by myself.
18:13Well, I sure don't need anybody else to ride my tricycle.
18:22Oh, God!
18:33Jackie!
18:36Hey, Jackie!
18:37W-w-wait!
18:39C-can you help me, please?
18:41You sure that won't make you feel like a little kid?
18:45Uh, it's okay.
18:46I'm-I'm kinda getting tired of being big.
18:53Thanks, Jackie.
18:54You're welcome, Bobby.
18:55You know, Bobby, the problem with being somebody who doesn't need anybody is, when you get in
19:01trouble, maybe nobody will be there to help you.
19:04Anyway, that's what my mom said Oprah said.
19:07How-how long will it be till I really get big?
19:12Aw, read it in that biological thing there.
19:16Now, you'll have to wait a while on that.
19:20Ah, that's good, cause I think I'm gonna need some time to finish burping up this fish-turkey.
19:26Ah!
19:27Ah!
19:27Ah!
19:27Would I tell ya?
19:29It was just a phase, huh, Martha?
19:31Aw, bingo, Howard.
19:33Whatever it was, I'm just glad to have our little Bobby back, don't you know?
19:38Sleep tight now, and don't let the bedbugs bite, Bobby.
19:41Ah!
19:43Don't worry.
19:43I won't let the bedbugs bite.
19:45Bad dog!
19:57Need any help, Bobby?
20:00Great to have you back, Captain Squash!
20:04Good to have you back, Bobby.
20:05Now, come on, let's put the bite on these bugs.
20:09How do you like this?
20:12Yeah, how do you like that?
20:14This!
20:15Sure great to have friends.
20:17Bada-bing, bada-boom.
20:23Not only was that an entertaining show, but it also taught us something.
20:29I can teach you something else.
20:31Well, go ahead.
20:32What happens when you put a bomb in a bada-bing?
20:36Okay, what happens when you put a bomb in a bada-bing?
20:40You get a bada-bing, bada-boom!
20:43What a nut!
20:45What a nut!
20:45What a nut!
21:11You
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