- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Well, Bobby, it's time to start the show.
00:03Here it is.
00:05Then who are they?
00:07Oh, that's they.
00:09What?
00:10They. They're just there to Satan.
00:13What are you talking about?
00:14Well, you know what they say.
00:16What?
00:17It's time to start the show.
00:30It's time to start the show.
01:00It's time to start the show.
01:30My mama says that life is like a box of cereal.
01:46Sometimes there's a prize inside, and sometimes it's just a bunch of bran flakes.
01:53You're cute when you're melancholy, Bobby.
01:55Cute is as cute does, Jackie.
01:57Why the long face in the suitcase full of foliage?
02:00Are you leaving, Bobby?
02:01My mama says that other folks' business is like a dirty sock.
02:06You should never stick your nose in it.
02:08I'll kiss you if you don't tell me.
02:10It all started the day Dad brought home the new computer.
02:14I've got great news, everyone.
02:17The generics are about to go where no generic has gone before.
02:22Cute.
02:22Can I bring my boyfriend, George?
02:24I'm talking about the future, Kelly.
02:27The 21st century.
02:28I'm talking about a state-of-the-art, cutting-edge, fully-equipped, brand-new computer.
02:35A computer?
02:37Oh, boy.
02:38Rad.
02:39Does it have a CD-ROM?
02:41Okay, so like, does that have an autofone dialer?
02:43I just hope it gets the big-haired psychics' network.
02:46I heard that thing can be a lot of fun.
02:49Oh, boy.
02:50We got a computer.
02:51We got a computer.
02:52We got a computer.
02:55What's a computer do, Jackie, Dad?
02:57Well, it's a machine of things fast.
03:00That's what it is.
03:03Oh, everything's done by computers these days, Bobbo.
03:07You know, computers control the world now.
03:10Controls for the world?
03:13The world controls.
03:18Jackie! Jackie!
03:19Let's make a snowman!
03:22But it's summer, Bobby.
03:23I don't think so, Jackie.
03:29Sorry, Bobbo.
03:31The Sanchovi-Espic is a little tough to control.
03:34Whoops!
03:35Oh, gooey-noogie time!
03:38Mmm, good.
03:40I tell you, Martha, this computer has absolutely everything.
03:43I can use it to keep up with the fast-paced world of pants right here in my own home.
03:48It may take a while to actually use it, though.
03:50There is some assembly required.
03:52Oh, no!
03:53When Dad say, some assembly required, it always means that you're going to have to wait a really long time.
04:01I'll help you, Howard!
04:03Like forever.
04:04I know my way around this stuff.
04:06You know, I was a copy machine repairman for a day.
04:08Let's see.
04:09Let me take a look at these instructions.
04:10Uh, this'll be a snap.
04:12Uh, pour les vous mon...
04:14No, let's see here.
04:15Oh, here.
04:16Ach ben mein air.
04:18But, no.
04:18This could take a while.
04:19You know, we better take an anchovy sandwich break.
04:21What do you think?
04:23You know, there's a thousand ways you can cook anchovy, Howard.
04:26You can boil them.
04:28You can fry them.
04:29You can steam them.
04:30You can fricassee them.
04:32You can eat them out of the can.
04:33You can...
04:35Is it assembled yet?
04:38If it isn't, can't we just call somebody who knows how to do it?
04:42You can put them on a tiny step.
04:45Don't worry, Bobby.
04:46I was just about to turn it on.
04:49Have your top been working all night?
04:54Kelly, Derek, the computer's assembled and Dad's about to turn it on.
04:58Generics, meet the whippity-smart 9000.
05:04The state-of-the-art, leading edge of technology.
05:08Gateway to the future.
05:10It has megabytes.
05:12It has music.
05:13It has art.
05:14It has games, film clips, pictures.
05:16It can put you in contact with people almost any place in the entire world.
05:21What you see before you, my loving family,
05:25is the dawn of a new age.
05:28Wow.
05:29A new age.
05:30Stand away from the computer.
05:40I said stand away from the computer.
05:42But Dad, all I wanted to do was...
05:45I might as well lay out the rules right now, son.
05:48This computer is full of games and fun stuff.
05:51But it is not a toy.
05:53Aw, honey.
05:54I think we just all need to remember
05:56that the reason we have this gee golly wonder of the world
05:59is so your father can keep up with that fast-paced world of pants.
06:04Just a sec, Howard.
06:09This Viking cooking network
06:12is just the gee golly pickle purchase pajamas is all.
06:18Be with you in a minute, Dad.
06:20I'm tapped into the skateboard online network.
06:22Excuse me.
06:26Can you not see that I am interfacing
06:27with the totally cool virtual mall network?
06:30Let's see here.
06:31How do you turn this thing on?
06:33I got no idea.
06:34What does it say?
06:34What? Oh, no.
06:35Hmm.
06:36Now, see, hon?
06:38You move the arrow to the space you want
06:41and click this little button, don't you know?
06:44Now, now, rain it in there, for goodness sakes, Bobby.
06:48This is great.
06:49This is the most funniest thing I ever learned since Han and Seek.
06:53America's number one most favorite game.
06:55Well, that's just great, hon.
06:57Now, you be good while I get the phone.
06:59Does this count as a loan?
07:01Mom's right in the next room.
07:02Play with me, Bobby.
07:05Play with me.
07:08Play with me, Bobby.
07:11Play with me.
07:12Oh, don't even think about it.
07:15You made the right decision, Howard.
07:17This computer is a real center cut of ground round.
07:21You know, right now, Bobby and I are just whizzing down
07:23the information superhighway, don't you know?
07:27Information superhighway?
07:29Play with me, Bobby.
07:36Let's load them up, good buddy.
07:38Ten-four, good buddy, Bobby.
07:40We're really good buddies.
07:41I smell trouble, good buddy, Bobby.
07:54That's just anchovies.
07:56It'll pass.
07:56We're losing power, buddy, Bobby.
08:16Hey, look, the Megabyte Diner.
08:17Looks like it's time to put the pooter in hard drive.
08:20Bobby Jennerick, what do you think you're doing, young man?
08:37Well, there you were, Bobby, speeding down the information superhighway
08:40when your dad caught you using the computer.
08:44What happened then?
08:45How much trouble did you get into?
08:47Like my mama always says, trouble is like a beanbag chair.
08:52It's a lot easier to get into than it is to get out of.
08:57From now on, that computer is rated H.O., Mr. Man.
09:01Hands off.
09:02Don't even think about touching the computer
09:05unless either mom is with you or I'm with you, okay?
09:09Okay.
09:11Remember, son, I didn't buy this thing as a toy.
09:14It's connected to the real world.
09:16It's here to help me keep up with the fast-moving world of pants.
09:25I'm glad you have something to help keep your pants up, Dad.
09:29Oh, hon, he's just so cheekily cute.
09:33Speaking of pants, honey,
09:34maybe I can finally get some work done on the computer now.
09:42Aw, Ted!
09:42Oh, sorry, Howard.
09:46I'm playing this great game.
09:47Where on earth is Gary, Indiana?
09:49Just give me two seconds to save the world here.
09:52Gotcha!
09:52Gotcha!
09:53Gotcha!
09:54Gotcha!
09:55Oh, you're coming!
09:56I got you back!
09:59Wow!
10:00A whole anchovy sandwich!
10:03Mm-mm!
10:04I wonder whose it is!
10:07Aw, I give up.
10:09Oh.
10:10Where on earth is Gary, anchovy?
10:12Oh, boy, I need a break.
10:14How do you pause this thing?
10:16What?
10:16What?
10:16What am I doing?
10:17I wonder why everybody sleeps late on Saturday,
10:21the funnest day of the week!
10:23I need anchovies.
10:24Or maybe a nap.
10:26You know, we should get a bed in here.
10:28Or a big can of anchovies.
10:29I don't know.
10:30How can I sleep late
10:32when I can't tell what time it is anyway?
10:34Oh, that's a pain!
10:37Oh, boy!
10:39Uncle Ted's up!
10:39Uncle Ted's up!
10:40Oh, boy!
10:48Push any button now,
10:49or the world will be destroyed in 10 seconds.
10:54I'm not supposed to touch the computer
10:56unless Mom or Dad is with me.
10:5910, 5...
11:00Oh, uh-oh!
11:02It's counting!
11:02It must be really bad!
11:04I can't save the world!
11:07Ho!
11:08Welcome to War Search!
11:10I'm General Ted McMahon!
11:12Ho!
11:13Ha-ha-ha!
11:13The world's most treacherous spy,
11:16Gary, Indiana,
11:17has hidden rocket-powered stink bombs
11:19in strategic spots all over the world!
11:22Ho!
11:22Ha-ha-ha!
11:24Your job, Bobby Generic,
11:25is to find those stink bombs and disarm them.
11:27And here's your first destination!
11:30Ho-ho-ho!
11:31Uh, my destination?
11:36Bobby!
11:37Like, what exactly are you doing?
11:41Nothing.
11:42Oh, okay.
11:43Like, have you been in the kitchen?
11:44What is wrong with Uncle Ted?
11:46Nothing.
11:46No.
11:58My...
11:58dusty nation!
12:00I gotta find out
12:01what's my dusty nation!
12:02This is worse than the mall. I will never find Gary Indiana.
12:18I'm looking for Gary Indiana, so I can save the world.
12:22I was expecting your Uncle Ted.
12:25I'm the man from Uncle Ted.
12:28Gary Indiana has gone to the Great Pyramids.
12:31The Great Pyramids?
12:36I've already set the stink bomb. You're too late, Bobby Generic.
12:41What is Generic? How do you get a Indiana?
12:45Oh, oh, for crying nurses of mercy, somebody call 911.
12:50Ted is um-gee-go-ing conscious.
12:53Yuck. He's just sleeping in his sandwich, Mom.
12:57Oh, well, that's a knee-slapping eye-opener.
13:02Bobby, are you up, hon?
13:05No! I'm sleepwalking!
13:09Move on to another destination now, or the world will be destroyed in...
13:14Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
13:25Bobby, honey, did you brush your pearly whites yet?
13:29Uh-huh.
13:30Even the back, back ones?
13:32Uh-huh.
13:33Leave it to Mom's to worry about your teeth when the world is coming to an end.
13:37Your next destination is Paris, France.
13:48Ah!
13:50Ah!
13:51Ah!
13:52Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!
13:54Ah!
13:55Ah!
13:56Ah!
13:57Ah!
13:58Ah!
14:00Ah!
14:01Ah!
14:02Ah!
14:03Ah!
14:04Ah!
14:05Ah!
14:06Ah!
14:07Pardon me, but did your dogs burp?
14:10Ah!
14:11Hey, buddy!
14:12Lighten up on the winners, eh?
14:14Ah!
14:15Sorry, Pierre, I didn't have any breakfast.
14:17Oh!
14:18Now these French can really cook.
14:19Mmm!
14:20Okay.
14:21Gary and Anna is heading for the Eiffel Tower.
14:24The Eiffel Tower?
14:25Where is that?
14:27The highest spot in Paris!
14:28And hurry!
14:29You gotta stop him before he sets the timers on all the stink bombs!
14:32The Eiffel Tower!
14:34The Eiffel Tower!
14:38Now I know why they call it Eiffel!
14:42What?
14:43Don't touch Natal!
14:44I'm in control now!
14:45One more really stinky stink bomb and the world will be destroyed!
14:50Neat cult!
14:51Where does he get all those cool toys?
14:53Bobby!
14:54Get in here right now, Mr. Manzy!
14:57I'm heating up the griddle for some delicious fiber cakes and imitation bacon!
15:02Move on to your next destination now!
15:05Or the world will be destroyed in 10...
15:089...
15:09But he can't destroy the world!
15:118...
15:127...
15:136...
15:145...
15:15Is this computer story based on actual events, Bobby?
15:20Honest is as honest does, Jackie.
15:23My mom always says the truth is like chewing gum.
15:26You can only stretch it so far.
15:28Then it's gonna break and get all mushed in your gee-golly hair.
15:33I gotta save the world!
15:38I gotta save the world!
15:39If you're going to catch a spy, you've got to dress like a spy.
15:58By golly, everyone wears spy clothes here.
16:01Pardon me, would you have any anchovy poupon?
16:05Gary, Indiana, is headed for Big Ben to set the final stink bomb timer!
16:12Big Ben?
16:13You mean the bully in Miss Schleppman's class?
16:16No!
16:17I mean Big Ben the clock!
16:31I've done it!
16:32The timers are set to go off at 12!
16:33Give it up, Generic!
16:34That's Generic!
16:35But I don't even know how to tell time.
16:36Bobby Generic!
16:37It's time!
16:38Time for your gee-golly breakfast, Mr. Mansypants!
16:40If I go to breakfast, the world will come to an end!
16:42But if I don't, Mom will find out I'm on the computer!
16:43After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
16:52I'm counting to ten!
16:53One, two...
16:54Oh no!
16:55She's closing!
16:56Do I tell them now?
16:57Then Mom and Dad will find out.
16:58But if I don't, then they will find out.
16:59Pass the sugar-free syrup, Dweeb!
17:00But then it...
17:01But then it...
17:02But then it...
17:03But...
17:04But...
17:05But if I do, maybe Mom will know how to save the world!
17:06Bobby, do you want my fabulous fiber flapjacks?
17:07Or my crispy oat bran waffle cakes, don't you know?
17:08How can she talk about fiber when the world is on the planet?
17:09I'm counting to ten!
17:10I'm counting to ten!
17:11One, two...
17:12Oh no!
17:13She's closing!
17:14I'm counting to ten!
17:15One, two...
17:16Oh no!
17:17She's closing!
17:18Oh no!
17:19She's closing!
17:20If I tell them now, then Mom and Dad will find out.
17:21But if I don't, then Mom and Dad will find out.
17:22But if I don't, then they will find out.
17:23Pass the sugar-free syrup, Dweeb!
17:24But then it...
17:25But if I do, maybe Mom will know how to save the world!
17:27You want my fabulous fiber flapjacks?
17:29Or my crispy oat bran waffle cakes, don't you know?
17:32How can she talk about fiber when the world is about to end?
17:37Bobby?
17:38Honey?
17:39What do you want for breakfast there... now yet?
17:43I don't want breakfast!
17:45The world is coming to an end!
17:48It's the end of the world!
17:57What's gonna happen now?
18:07All of the toy stores are closed down.
18:11Toys have been outlawed.
18:13It's the end of the world, don't you know now?
18:18Bobby, the ice cream store is open!
18:22End of the world.
18:24We're down to one flavor.
18:26Asparagus whip.
18:28Sorry, son.
18:29Ew.
18:34Oh, Bobby, I meant to tell you.
18:36Dad and I need for you to share a room with Derek from now on.
18:40Derek?
18:41We'll have loads of fun.
18:44Dork!
18:45I'm giving up pants!
18:47I'm going into dresses.
18:50Sorry, Robert.
18:51No time for noogies.
18:52Gotta go to work!
18:53No time for noogies?
18:55It really is the end of the world!
18:58Aaaaaaah!
19:00What in the heckin' gone world has gotten your shorts in such a twist, young man?
19:06Now, just tell your old mom what's going on here.
19:10Mom!
19:11Mom!
19:12The world's going to be destroyed because Gary Indiana has stick bumps and I don't know how
19:16it's outside!
19:17Mom!
19:18Oh, Bobby, hon, the world's not coming to an end.
19:22You're just playing a computer game.
19:25The world's not coming to an end?
19:27Well, not until that father of yours finds out you were playing with the computer.
19:33So, Bobby, I guess you learned your lesson that when your parents say, don't touch something,
19:38they probably know what they're talking about.
19:40But why the sad song now?
19:42It's the same song, second verse.
19:44When I was playing on the information superhighway, I accidentally ordered a few things that the rest of the family had been using.
19:52What the?
19:53Hi!
19:54I'm Wanda Pandora from the Big Haired Psychics Network.
19:58Might you be Ted?
20:00Aaaaaaah!
20:02Like my mama always says, life is like stubbing your cheek all your toe.
20:07It can really make you holler.
20:09Well, thanks.
20:10That was our show.
20:11Bye!
20:12Oh, wait!
20:13I prepared a poem.
20:14But, uh, we only have about 20 seconds left, Bobby.
20:16It's an important poem.
20:17I'll try to hurry.
20:18Well, can I stop you?
20:19No.
20:20Then go ahead, but hurry.
20:21These are words of wisdom.
20:22The one rule of life.
20:23I know it even now, though.
20:24I'm only almost five.
20:26If you follow this, everything will always be the same.
20:29I know it even now, though.
20:32I'm only almost five.
20:33If you follow this, everything will always be the same.
20:38Then we'll always be fine.
20:40Uh-oh.
20:41I'm really sorry.
20:42I must be out of time.
20:45This is a short song about a world without moms.
20:50This is a short song about a world without moms.
21:20This is a short song about a world without moms.
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