- 17 hours ago
Shaun Micallef's Eve of Destruction - Season 2 Episode 7 -
Christmas Special： Luke McGregor and Steph Tisdell
Christmas Special： Luke McGregor and Steph Tisdell
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00:00Sleigh bells ringing, gifts are giving, hark the herald angels singing, hush the silent
00:14night to say, Santa's born on Christmas Day.
00:18Yes, it's a Christmas Eve of destruction, with your host, Sean McCullough!
00:30A merry, merry, merry Christmas to John Foreman and Ella Hooper, welcome to be with you.
00:37Thank you very much.
00:38Now, in this time of giving and receiving things of little to no worth, what better time to
00:43think of the things that are important.
00:45Not important, perhaps, to you and I, but to others.
00:48Not friends and loved ones, but people like our guests.
00:50The first of whom is either Luke McGregor or Steph Tisdall.
00:53I want it to be a surprise.
00:55Would you please welcome comedian, actor and writer, either Steph Tisdall or Luke McGregor.
01:04Holes, holes, decamose holly, shopping malls with music jolly, tis the season of sheer folly.
01:10You'll tag down the country.
01:12Oh, that's right, congratulations.
01:13Yes, alright.
01:14Would you like a rat on a stick?
01:16I already had one backstage.
01:18A bit full, thank you.
01:20Are they real rats?
01:21Yes, they're real rats.
01:22Everything very authentic here.
01:24It's Christmas Eve.
01:25It is Christmas and I too love to have rats at Christmas.
01:29Do you have a lovely Christmas or rat story?
01:32I used to have a pet rat.
01:33Yes.
01:34Until it died.
01:36It's actually the second one down.
01:40I believed in Santa for ages because when I was little I saw a shooting star and I'm like,
01:47Santa and so well into my very early teens I was still like, people were like, Santa's not real.
01:54And I'd be like, yeah.
01:55But I knew in my head he was real because I'd seen him outside.
01:58Sure.
01:59I know he's not real now.
02:00It's Christmas Eve.
02:01Because he crashed.
02:02He crashed.
02:03That is a beautiful story and well told.
02:09It's probably my best story of all time.
02:11Yeah, it's my favourite.
02:13We did peak early, didn't we?
02:16But it is Christmas Eve and you're going on holiday.
02:18This is the premise of the show.
02:19Yes.
02:20And you've decided to Airbnb your house.
02:23Yes.
02:24While you're away.
02:25And like most people who are Airbnb, you've got this little cupboard where you put all
02:28of your possessions inside the cupboard and you lock it so that people can't steal stuff.
02:31Yeah, yeah.
02:32Unfortunately the lock is broken.
02:33Oh no Luke, the lock is broken.
02:35It means that people can come in and ransack all your possessions.
02:37They're just coming up the driveway.
02:39Well they'll never be able to steal that excellent story I just told.
02:43That's safe.
02:44That's safe.
02:45That's in the car.
02:46Your pets are safe, your loved ones are safe and your photographs, they're all safe.
02:49Yeah.
02:50But two possessions I'm after that you can rescue from inevitable ransacking.
02:54What would they be, Luke McGregor?
02:56Um, obviously my collection of condoms.
02:59I'm kidding.
03:01Sorry, I apologise.
03:02I apologise.
03:03Well that's how Jesus was born.
03:06I've got a, I might as well just say it.
03:11I don't want to be embarrassed about it.
03:12I'm a bit of a fan of Ghostbusters.
03:13Really?
03:14And so...
03:15I did not know that.
03:16I just, look I didn't want to make any assumptions when you came in.
03:18No, no.
03:19Yeah, it's just...
03:20I just thought you might be insane.
03:21No, no.
03:22It's just a laundry day.
03:23Alright.
03:24Um, so, um, and I've, in my adulthood spent quite a lot of money on buying Ghostbusters
03:28props.
03:29Mm-hmm.
03:30I've got to save my PKE meter, my Ghostbusters PKE meter from Ghostbusters 1 and, um...
03:34Yeah, alright, nerd.
03:35What's the, what's the, no, no, no.
03:38What's the second, what's the second item?
03:40There's a VHS tape of the first thing I ever made, ever.
03:43Yes.
03:44Um, directed, start in.
03:46Um, and it's on VHS, uh, that I made for my friend's 21st, so I would take that too.
03:51Alright, those two things sound good.
03:52Let's bring them on.
03:53He's got a list and if your name's on it don't matter where you come from, as long as you
04:00are good and kind, you'll get things at Christmas time.
04:04Would you please thank Dominic and Taylor, our elves, for this evening?
04:10Wow.
04:11This is more than, uh, you said.
04:13Is that, this is a...
04:14This is, this is, you actually got the...
04:16Yeah, that, I...
04:17That's not yours.
04:18No, full disclosure, um, the production asked if I was willing to send mine down and I'm
04:22like, well, as long as someone else packs it.
04:24And they said, no, you've got to pack it.
04:25So I was too scared to send it, because I was worried it would break.
04:29But this is...
04:30You like that?
04:31Can I...
04:32No, you can't have it.
04:33That's the, uh, Neutrona wand, isn't it?
04:35Yes.
04:36So we won't talk about the Neutrona wand.
04:38Um...
04:39Stop, stop coveting it, alright?
04:40And the proton pack, that's not yours.
04:42Can we, no, can we turn it on at least?
04:44Or...
04:45No, we're not going to turn it on.
04:46We're not going to have any fun with it at all.
04:48Did you have a chance to bring yours down?
04:50And you refused.
04:51I couldn't, I didn't, I didn't want to pack it, I was too scared.
04:53It was, it was a custom made prop.
04:55How much, how much did you spend getting it made?
04:58Four grand.
04:59Four grand to get this made?
05:00This only cost us like a hundred dollars.
05:02Alright, anyway, we're not talking about that.
05:05Okay.
05:06Not talking about the Neutrona wand, or the proton pack, or this, uh, this uniform here.
05:10We're talking about this PKE meter.
05:13And what's a PKE meter?
05:14It detects ghosts, um...
05:16Well, it doesn't really detect ghosts.
05:18Well, it detects, um, the...
05:20Psychokinetic energy.
05:21Psychokinetic energy.
05:22Apologies.
05:23You should know this.
05:24I know.
05:25You're dressed as a ghost buster.
05:28I really, I really just, um, like, it's a, it's, the job interview is very easy.
05:34What else have you got?
05:36I mean, apart from, you've got all this obviously, you've got all this, all this happening.
05:39Yes.
05:40I've got this, that, that, and then I've got all the video games, and I've got the trap.
05:45What about where they are stored in the...
05:47The containment unit.
05:48Do you have a containment unit?
05:49No, I've got, like, a laundry, um...
05:52So I can, like, pretend I'm putting it in the containment unit, but it's just a, it's just a washing machine.
05:57But here's...
05:58Can I take it out of here?
05:59Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
06:00Take that out.
06:01So this is, um, one of the first props I bought, um...
06:04When did you get that?
06:05About five years ago.
06:06Five years ago?
06:07I thought this, oh, this was a childhood thing.
06:09No, no, no.
06:10I couldn't afford any of this stuff as a kid.
06:12I had to wait till I was an adult.
06:13Alright, how much was that?
06:15This was a couple of hundred bucks.
06:17Wow, okay.
06:18But if you paid a hundred bucks for this, um, I think we should...
06:21Can we turn it on?
06:22Can we just turn it on?
06:23Can we just flip the switch?
06:24I tell you what, I tell you, we'll just turn it on now.
06:26And you act like you're impressed.
06:28That's, that's the...
06:29Oh.
06:30It does work!
06:31Okay.
06:32No, no, leave it alone.
06:34Leave it up, we'll turn it off.
06:35Alright, you're not to touch it, alright?
06:37Okay.
06:38Did you know that this is related to a film called Ghostbusters?
06:41I haven't seen it.
06:42Have you seen the film?
06:44I plan to.
06:45You have seen the film?
06:46I have seen it, yeah, many times.
06:47Now, when did it come out?
06:491980, I think?
06:51Probably a bit later, right?
06:5281?
06:5382?
06:54And when were you born?
06:5582.
06:56Okay, so you saw it when you were one year old?
06:57I mean, he was playing in the birth suite.
06:59Who are you going to call?
07:02Quick, get that...
07:04So you saw it when you were one, or you saw it like...
07:08I saw it later, I saw it when I was about ten.
07:10Ten, alright.
07:11But I...
07:12It's still pretty good.
07:13No, earlier, I was...
07:14But it was good, because I used to be scared of ghosts, any sort of monster.
07:18I used to struggle to go to the toilet by myself.
07:21Hang on, hang on, hang on.
07:22So before Ghostbusters...
07:23Yeah.
07:24Were you scared of ghosts?
07:25Yes.
07:26Why were you scared of ghosts?
07:28Well, you know the film It with Stephen King?
07:33By Stephen King?
07:34Yeah, the one with the clown that eats children.
07:36So this is the Tim Curry version?
07:37Yeah.
07:38This is a mini-series?
07:39Yeah.
07:40Well hang on, how old were you when you watched that?
07:42Um...
07:43I was very young.
07:44But I'd seen...
07:45Mum and Dad were watching some horror film.
07:46It wasn't It, but it was like Poltergeist or something.
07:49I can't remember.
07:50But...
07:51Oh, The Exorcist?
07:52So I'd sort of...
07:53So how old were you when you watched The Exorcist?
07:56I was...
07:57I only saw a little bit.
07:58I was young.
07:59I was like...
08:00Mum and Dad weren't very attentive.
08:01That I was in the background.
08:03I don't want to be judgemental, but your mother and father sound like terrible parents.
08:08They weren't great.
08:09Yeah.
08:10So they let you watch It?
08:11They let you watch Poltergeist?
08:12Yeah.
08:13They just didn't stop me.
08:14So I would sort of wander into the background and they'd be like...
08:18That's fine.
08:20So I got very scared of going to the toilet by myself, but when Ghostbusters came out...
08:24Why were you scared of going to the toilet?
08:25Well, It lives in the toilet, but also...
08:27Who lives in the toilet?
08:28The clown lives in the toilet.
08:29Well, he doesn't live in the toilet.
08:30He lives in the swords, but he has access to the toilet.
08:32Okay, so Tim Curry lives in the toilet?
08:34Tim Curry...
08:35Yes.
08:36You thought that he lived in the toilet?
08:38That's difficult for a young boy.
08:40How old are you?
08:41Nine, ten years old?
08:42I didn't think the actor lived in the toilet.
08:44I did think there was a clown that ate children who had access to toilets.
08:48Okay, so you thought Pennywise lived in your toilet?
08:50I thought Pennywise was living in my toilet.
08:53Alright.
08:54Now, did seeing Ghostbusters make that better?
08:55Which makes you wonder, what's he doing in the downtime?
08:58That's the first thing I was thinking when you were telling that story.
09:03Did Ghostbusters help?
09:04Because that's got...that's pretty scary too.
09:06Well, yeah, because they used science to capture the ghosts.
09:09So all these things I was afraid of, I could just point this thing at them and trap them.
09:14It's not easy doing a number two wearing a proton pack.
09:17But it did help me go from my room to the toilet without fear with my Ghostbusters toys.
09:26Who did you relate to in Ghostbusters?
09:28When you saw it as a nine year old, I imagine there would have been characters that you would have associated with more than others.
09:32Oh, Egon.
09:33Egon Spengler, yes?
09:34Just because he has glasses and I'm also short sighted.
09:37He invented the...
09:38He invented the stuff.
09:39He came up with it.
09:40So he took a fear that he had and then turned it into something he could deal with.
09:45So him and Ray...
09:46Ray was the Dan Aykroyd character?
09:47Yeah.
09:48Ray really loved his job and was really curious.
09:50I think I'm curious.
09:51And then Egon was a really good inventor.
09:53Not that I could invent anything, but I'd like to think that we'd be mates.
09:57What about the comedy aspect?
10:00Because it's actually a comedy film as well.
10:01Have you picked up that?
10:02Yes.
10:03I have chuckled.
10:04Did you see anything that helped inspire you to become a comedian?
10:06Because you're a comedian, aren't you?
10:07Yeah, I think so.
10:08They used humour a lot in that film.
10:10And I tend to use humour when I'm in dire straits.
10:13Like when I was growing up and I was bullied, I thought if I can make the bully laugh, maybe he won't hit me or hit me as hard.
10:20So that was a good...
10:21God, it's really sad.
10:22So that was really good.
10:24So comedy was...
10:25It's like my go-to.
10:27I definitely will do therapy eventually, but for the moment...
10:32What about Tim Curry?
10:33Have you come to terms with his other roles?
10:35After I saw him at Home Alone...
10:37Oh, he's in Home Alone 2 over there.
10:39He's in Home Alone 2.
10:40Along with Donald Trump?
10:41So it's Donald Trump, yeah.
10:43It spoils it, doesn't it?
10:45It does.
10:46Looking back...
10:47He had a small supporting role in Hunt for Red October.
10:49Have you seen that?
10:50Donald Trump did.
10:51No, no, no.
10:53No, no.
10:54If we know anything about Donald Trump, we know that he doesn't like submarines.
10:57We know that.
10:58But have you considered that Tim Curry, who of course played a clown...
11:01Yeah.
11:02...in It may well have inspired you to become, in a way, many ways, a clown?
11:06I don't think so.
11:07It made me hate clowns.
11:09But I do like eating children.
11:12So that's...
11:13Yeah.
11:14I like the fact that you like Egon Spengler, because he's of course played by Howard Ramis.
11:19Yeah.
11:20Who became a film director.
11:21And that leads us very neatly onto this item here.
11:23Oh, yeah.
11:24Which is your first film that you would have ever directed.
11:27I haven't seen this in a long time, because I don't have a VHS player.
11:30It's been about maybe 20 years or something.
11:32How long ago did you make it?
11:3320 years ago.
11:34I'm 42 now.
11:35I was 21 when I made it, so...
11:37And you made it for...
11:38My friend Mikaela used to buy me these weird gifts every year.
11:42And I never knew what to buy her, so I thought I'll make a video of all the embarrassing
11:46situations they've got me into.
11:47Have you seen it yet?
11:48I thank you for sending it in.
11:50And I did watch it.
11:52I don't say anything racist or...
11:54You don't say anything racist, but there is a lot of things that will embarrass you
11:58about it.
11:59Okay.
12:00Do you remember how long it is?
12:01Is it under 10 minutes?
12:02It's under 10 minutes.
12:03It's seven minutes of the most boring content I've ever seen.
12:07But, now you've explained the context of it, because what you're doing is celebrating
12:11you and Mikaela have been giving each other crappy presents.
12:14Yeah.
12:15This is the apotheosis of a crappy gift to give your friend.
12:19Yeah.
12:20That was the logic behind it, wasn't it?
12:21Yeah.
12:22But my wife's indigenous, and my wife said, look, you're a 21-year-old white man back then.
12:28You should probably pre-watch it before you put it on TV.
12:32And I didn't.
12:33So...
12:34Well, you're going to trust me, because we digitised it.
12:36Yeah.
12:37Which I suspect is the reason you've wanted it in the first place.
12:41So the ABC would digitise it so you could see it.
12:43Yeah.
12:44It was to get a free proton pack and to get that digitised.
12:46Well, we...
12:47And then some free wrap.
12:48I cut it down a little bit...
12:49Oh, please.
12:50...to one frame.
12:52This is you introducing it.
12:54This is a picture of you introducing it.
12:56Alright.
12:57And you've got a Christmas tree there, so I'm assuming Michaela's birthday was around about Christmas time.
13:01Yeah, December 20th.
13:02That's nice.
13:03Isn't that nice?
13:04Yeah.
13:05What a coincidence.
13:06But we thought that'd be a bit dull just showing one frame.
13:08So I managed to pad it out to four seconds.
13:12This involves the frog.
13:13Do you remember the frog as a gift that you were given by Michaela?
13:16I was given a frog that whenever you moved it, it made a fredip sound.
13:21A what?
13:22A fredip.
13:23Fredip?
13:24You mean ribbit.
13:25Oh, ribbit!
13:27Did I combine fredo and ribbit?
13:31Who's to say who's wrong or right?
13:32It's Christmas.
13:33Well, I'm pretty sure it's me.
13:35But this particular frog goes fredip.
13:39And so I had it in my school bag walking home.
13:41And I grew up in kind of a rough neighbourhood.
13:46And as I was walking home, there were these...
13:48Some kids from another school were hearing my backpack go redip, redip.
13:52And so I recreated that with the magic of film.
13:55All right.
13:56Well, let's have a look at this wonderful clip from a VHS tape.
14:00Why have you got it?
14:01Didn't you give it to her?
14:02Isn't it impressive?
14:03Oh, you had two?
14:04I got two, yeah.
14:05So she has one?
14:06Yep.
14:07Does she like it?
14:10Here's the reason you cut it down to four seconds.
14:12Let's have a look at this beautiful gift to Michaela some 20 years ago.
14:17Cut down to four seconds.
14:28Fantastic.
14:33That's great.
14:34I'll be signing them out the back if you want to buy a copy.
14:37Now, you tell us about Michaela because she was obviously a good friend of yours.
14:40And is she still a good friend of yours?
14:41We're not that close anymore.
14:42We sort of parted ways.
14:45I'm starting to wonder if maybe because of the quality of the thing I gave her as a presence.
14:49We grew up together, but we didn't have a really good look close.
14:52But you lived together though, didn't you?
14:54Yeah, we lived together.
14:55It was really weird.
14:56We were both introverts.
14:57And so we'd both sort of retreat to our rooms.
15:00And then like I'd have someone around and they'd say, oh, where's your housemate?
15:04I'm like, I don't know.
15:05We were both very private and both very introverted.
15:08So it was kind of perfect.
15:09So it was a platonic friendship?
15:10It was a platonic friendship.
15:11Never any chance or any opportunity or any desire to make it a romantic?
15:15No, we never were that close.
15:17It was never romantic.
15:18It was a strange relationship of just two people who started buying each other dumb gifts,
15:22but then it just didn't stop.
15:24I think I invited her to one of my birthdays and she bought me something silly.
15:27So then I bought her something silly.
15:29And then once a year we would do this thing for each other.
15:31Was it a bit like, you know, you did that, remember that thing you did, that Rosehaven show?
15:34Remember that?
15:35I do remember it.
15:36Do you remember that?
15:37That relationship you have with Celia's character is a platonic friendship.
15:40You don't often see that explored in television.
15:42No.
15:43Well, Phils and I are besties in real life.
15:44So we were going to kiss in the first season, but then we delayed it.
15:48And then we told ABC we'd kiss at the end of the second season and we still didn't.
15:52And then by the third season people were kind of on board that we were never going to kiss.
15:55But we have kissed in real life once at a comedy after party and people were daring to kiss each other.
16:03And Celia and I kissed, but I don't remember it.
16:05Celia's told me that that's what happened.
16:07Did you black out?
16:08No, I was just pretty drunk.
16:10So she remembers the kiss, but you don't, that's very interesting.
16:12Yeah.
16:13Real power play, right?
16:15Yeah.
16:16What did she tell you about the kiss?
16:17Was she moved by the kiss?
16:18No, it was pretty run of the mill.
16:20Was it just a peck on the cheek?
16:22I think it was lip locked, but no tongue.
16:23Why do you think that?
16:25Well, I would have had Invisalign at the time.
16:27It would have prohibited some of the bigger moves.
16:31So in a way you've gone further with Celia than you ever did with Michaela.
16:36Yeah.
16:37Are you making anything more with Celia?
16:39We've started writing something new.
16:41Not Rosehaven?
16:42No, Ghostbusters 4.
16:44Look forward to it.
16:46The original pitch for Rosehaven, we ended up changing it with these two real estate agents
16:51who only sold haunted houses.
16:54So you'd be showing people through and going, the walls bleed but it only happens at midnight
16:58and it'll be gone by the morning.
17:00Like it was a fun sketch, but we couldn't work it out into that many seasons.
17:04But that was the original pitch.
17:06And my mum sold a murderer's house once.
17:10And...
17:11OK, hang on a sec.
17:13So this wasn't a house that you and your parents and family lived in?
17:18No, mum was a real estate agent.
17:20Oh, I see.
17:21Sorry, I should have said that first.
17:23And the murderer asked mum if...
17:27Hang on a minute.
17:28Hang on a minute.
17:29She was acting on behalf of the murderer?
17:30Yeah.
17:31Anyway, the murderer asked mum if they could help get rid of my stuff.
17:33Because I can't use it anymore, I'm in jail.
17:35And the PlayStation that we had growing up, I found out years later, was the murderer's
17:39PlayStation.
17:40It's OK, I didn't play the same video games as them, so I'm not going to murder anyone.
17:47Did you use the PKE meter to detect anything in the PlayStation?
17:51Yes.
17:52There was a finger of one of their victims.
17:55No.
17:56The PlayStation was...
17:57I don't want to be ghoulish about this.
17:58No, no, no.
17:59Because it's Christmas Eve.
18:00Yes.
18:01But how did the person get murdered?
18:04I think they were hit over the head with the PlayStation.
18:07I'm not sure.
18:08No, I don't know.
18:09I don't know how the murderer murdered.
18:11I just knew that that PlayStation was the former murderer's PlayStation.
18:14Like, I like to separate the PlayStation from the murderer.
18:17Look, you've come a long, long way from being scared of Tim Curry in your toilet.
18:23Don't get me wrong, if I found a clown in the toilet, it would scar me for life.
18:26I'd be ruined.
18:27OK.
18:28No, no, that's all right.
18:30If you want to use the toilet here at the ABC, I can assure you that there is no clown in it.
18:35That's something that someone would say that's organised a bunch of clowns in the toilet.
18:39Well, Merry Christmas.
18:41It's going to be a surprise.
18:42Would you please thank Luke McGregor?
18:44And we'll be back right after this.
18:49Coming up tonight, a feeling of listlessness, followed by nausea and vomiting from the producers
18:56of Murder in Paradise, and difficulty sleeping with Michael Portillo.
19:01Well, welcome back.
19:03Like most presents on Christmas Day, you save the best one to open last.
19:06You weigh them up, shake them, feel their shape as best you can to find out whether it's rubbish
19:11or not.
19:12That's all we've done here tonight.
19:13Got the cheap stocking filler out of the way first, so we can enjoy the thrill of tearing
19:18the wrapping off the gift that we really want.
19:21And would you please welcome, comedian, actor and writer, Steph Tisdall.
19:24Are they actually rats?
19:25Yes, they're actually rats.
19:26We had them flown in.
19:27You don't want one now?
19:28Maybe a little bit later.
19:29You're going off.
19:30Alright, alright.
19:31Reject the one bit of kindness I offer you.
19:32I'm very sorry.
19:33They look lovely.
19:34Are they actually real food?
19:35They are real food.
19:36They are real food.
19:37Rat is an actual food.
19:38Wow.
19:39Traditional in some countries, isn't it, Luke?
19:40See?
19:41Yes.
19:42Can I ask you, is that a Christmas gift for me?
19:43That lovely wrapped ribbon on your finger?
19:44Well, it's just, it's called a finger cot, but it looks like a tiny condom.
19:48Oh, not that, it's not that tiny.
19:49Sorry.
19:50Sorry, it looks like an average sized condom.
19:51Sure, that's better.
19:52So, to try and make it nicer, we've put a bow on it.
19:53But, um...
19:54What have you done to your finger?
19:55I chopped the top of my finger.
19:56Yes, they are real food.
19:57They are real food.
19:58They are real food.
19:59They are real food.
20:00Rat is an actual food.
20:01Wow.
20:02Traditional in some countries, isn't it, Luke?
20:03See?
20:04Yes.
20:05Can I ask you, is that a Christmas gift for me?
20:06That lovely wrapped ribbon on your finger?
20:07Well, it's just, it's called a finger cot, but it looks like a tiny condom.
20:10Oh, not that, it's not that tiny.
20:11Sorry, it looks like an average sized condom.
20:12Sure, that's better.
20:13So, to try and make it nicer, we've put a bow on it, but, um...
20:18What have you done to your finger?
20:19I chopped the top of my finger off.
20:20What?
20:21Yes.
20:22Was it cooking or practicing with a sword or...?
20:24It was cooking.
20:25Oh.
20:26I was actually trying to do a really nice gesture for my partner.
20:28She went through a hike.
20:29Was the gesture this?
20:30Yeah.
20:31That's a nice thing to do.
20:34Was it vegetarian, largely, up until that point?
20:37Yeah, exactly, yeah.
20:38And then I made blood pudding, so...
20:40Right.
20:41Hey, I hear Little Bird tells me that it's Christmas Eve.
20:45Yes.
20:46But it's not just Christmas Eve.
20:48No, it's not just Christmas Eve, thank you.
20:49What is this?
20:50A very special day for you, isn't it?
20:51It's my birthday.
20:52It's your birthday.
20:53I have a present for you.
20:56Thank you so much.
20:57I have a present for you.
20:58Happy birthday.
20:59Wow, thank you so much.
21:00I haven't got a present for you because it's not your birthday.
21:02No.
21:03And I do want to give everybody Christmas presents.
21:05But Steph, I suspect, probably ends up having a bit of difficulty.
21:10Thank you so much.
21:12It's the Ghostbusters original motion.
21:14That's right.
21:15That is for you.
21:17That is the 2016 version.
21:18I will listen to the...
21:19Will you?
21:20Yeah, like I genuinely will.
21:21That's nice.
21:22Yeah.
21:23Isn't that lovely, Luke?
21:24Lovely present, ladies.
21:25That's a great gift.
21:26Is that a problem for you?
21:27I'm sort of assuming that you kind of get the raw end of the pumpkin.
21:30Yeah.
21:31As they never say.
21:32Yeah.
21:33About when it comes to Christmas and your birthday.
21:34Yes.
21:35Yes.
21:36Actually.
21:37And I remember when I was 10, I got given a present from somebody that said, Merry Birthday.
21:41Thanks, that's...
21:42And it was 10 bucks.
21:4310 bucks?
21:44So I got 5 bucks for birthday, 5 bucks for Christmas.
21:46So it was a single $10 note.
21:47Yep.
21:48And you were expected to interpret that as being $5 for each of the days.
21:52Well, it said Merry Birthday.
21:54Right.
21:55I'm angry on your behalf.
21:56Thank you so much.
21:57Who did this to you?
21:58I'll speak to them.
21:59Stupid mum and dad.
22:00And you know what?
22:01When I was born, I got strangled by the umbilical cord and then got jaundice.
22:06And so I had to stay overnight in the humidity crib.
22:09And so when they went in to get me on Christmas Day, the nurses had wrapped me in Christmas paper.
22:15That's lovely.
22:16Well that is very interesting that you are then presented by the nursing staff of this
22:22hospital as a Christmas present.
22:24Yeah.
22:25For your mother and father.
22:26I know.
22:27And they spend the rest of their lives short-changing you on your birthday.
22:29Yeah, I know.
22:30I know.
22:31Alright, okay.
22:32Now you two have entered the short-term housing market.
22:34Yes.
22:35Like Luke, you've got all your possessions.
22:36Of course.
22:37You're putting them in a cupboard.
22:38Unfortunately, like Luke, the cupboard is broken, can't be locked.
22:40Oh no.
22:41So which two items do you save because they're just coming up the driveway and they're going
22:45to come around.
22:46Other than that CD that you just got.
22:47Yeah, yeah.
22:48Well let's...
22:49Keep that.
22:50That's alright.
22:51That's safe.
22:52That's safe.
22:53Okay.
22:54I don't know what they are but I want to see it.
22:55Reindeer's feet upon the rooftops.
22:56Resents purchased from the cookshops.
22:57Coors unloaded from the sleigh.
22:58To be returned on Boxing Day.
22:59You weren't returned on Boxing Day were you?
23:00I actually don't know.
23:01I don't remember sure.
23:02I was baby.
23:03Really?
23:04Okay.
23:05Now tell me about this thing.
23:06What's it called?
23:07It's called a theory board.
23:08Never heard of a theory board in my life.
23:09Yeah, well that's because you're old.
23:10So it's...
23:11She's right.
23:12I'm sorry.
23:13Alright, so what sort of thing is this?
23:14It's like a MIDI keyboard.
23:15It's like an interface for the computer.
23:16And what's a MIDI keyboard?
23:17I don't really know.
23:18It's like an interface for music for the computer.
23:19Excuse me.
23:20John, what's a MIDI keyboard?
23:21It's like an interface for music for the computer.
23:23It's like an interface for music for the computer.
23:24I don't know how to spell it.
23:25Is it a kind of predictive text for chords and things like that?
23:26Yes.
23:27It's how it works.
23:28Yes, actually, yes it is.
23:29So it's for production of music.
23:30It's no about me.
23:31That's not about me.
23:32Yeah.
23:33I don't know.
23:34You're right.
23:35All right.
23:36Right.
23:37Sorry.
23:38All right, so what sort of thing is this?
23:39It's like a MIDI keyboard.
23:40It's like an interface for the computer.
23:41And what's a MIDI keyboard?
23:42I don't really know.
23:43It's like an interface for the computer.
23:44Excuse me.
23:45John, John, what's a MIDI keyboard?
23:46Do you know?
23:47It's like an interface for music.
23:48It's no about me.
23:53So it's for producing music.
23:55So I've got a very easily distractible brain.
23:58And I find it really hard to write.
24:00Like when I'm writing shows and when I was writing my book and all that,
24:02it was like I could get easily distracted and I'd go,
24:05oh, no, I'm going to get writer's block.
24:07And I listened to this podcast once that said that we always think
24:11that creativity comes in waves of motivation and it doesn't.
24:14It's a muscle like anything else you need to...
24:16I did not know that.
24:17Yeah.
24:18You can train your brain to be creative.
24:20And so when you're really, really stuck,
24:22the best thing to do is to consume creativity
24:24and to learn something that is so far out of your normal world
24:27that it starts those synapses firing.
24:30And so I got into making music on my phone on GarageBand.
24:35Can you actually play an instrument though?
24:38I can sort of play the piano, but that's about it.
24:40Right.
24:41I have very basic understanding of music theory
24:44because my mum played the piano when we were growing up.
24:46So she taught all of us.
24:47You grew up with a piano in the house?
24:48Yes.
24:49Yes, we did.
24:50And your mother plays?
24:51Yeah, she plays very well.
24:52Do you have siblings?
24:53Yes, I've got three older brothers.
24:54Do they play anything?
24:55My oldest brother is a proper musical genius.
24:58Like just one of those like prodigies,
25:00can pick up anything and just play it.
25:02You don't have that ability?
25:04No, I don't.
25:05OK.
25:06Hence why I got the theory board.
25:07OK.
25:08So I have this basic understanding of music,
25:10but I get too confused too easily.
25:13I can't remember everything.
25:14So I was watching a whole bunch of YouTube videos
25:17about production and people taking weird samples of things
25:20and trying to turn them into songs, you know.
25:23And I just thought if I could see patterns in music,
25:26like I just understood how complex it was
25:28and how, you know, we kind of go,
25:29oh, well, music's really gone to shit, you know.
25:33What about real music?
25:34And you're like, man, this stuff's really hard
25:36because you're taking things, you're cutting them down,
25:39you're spinning them backwards and piecing stuff.
25:41It's like art.
25:42It's like the painting version.
25:43Like a collage?
25:44Yeah, that's actually the perfect way.
25:47I think it's like a collage.
25:50It's not about me.
25:52And so I wanted to learn,
25:54but I kept on getting confused over which chords were which.
25:57And so I found this thing, it's called a theory board,
26:00and it was a crowdfunded project
26:02where they were trying to get people who weren't great
26:04at music theory.
26:05So this is not available in the shops?
26:07You can't buy this?
26:08No.
26:09So I told my family for my 30th birthday,
26:10I said, I have, like, all I want for my birthday or Christmas,
26:13I just, it's really expensive.
26:15It's from the US.
26:16Such?
26:17I think it was like 600 or 700 bucks.
26:19That's a lot of money.
26:20Yeah, it's a lot of money.
26:21OK.
26:22I don't know.
26:23Yeah, yeah.
26:24That's good.
26:25That's an awfully present from you.
26:26Well, that's insane.
26:27Because, but did they split it over Christmas and your birthday?
26:30That's crazy.
26:32But I, um, but it was such a big deal for me to ask
26:35because I knew it was a lot of money,
26:36and they all got together and they all split it across them
26:39to get me this.
26:40And it was so lovely because it was from this,
26:42from this crowdfunded thing.
26:43Yeah.
26:44Like, I don't think it was that easy to get a hold of.
26:45Yeah.
26:46And so the gesture of it meant a lot.
26:47And I have, like, just spent days when I'm really lost
26:51in other things or feeling overwhelmed,
26:53just focusing on, like, just putting together little songs.
26:58Right.
26:59You're tricking these muscles that you've been talking about,
27:01giving them a bit of a rest,
27:02and then you turn around and say,
27:03well, it's your turn, let's write something.
27:04Yes.
27:05Can you play us something?
27:06I mean, sure.
27:07I don't really, it's more like,
27:09because the way that it works, right,
27:11is you have a program on the computer.
27:12Mm-hm.
27:13Producing's more about the program,
27:14which I suck at computers, so I'm not very good at it.
27:16So you can't play a musical instrument,
27:17and you're no good at computers?
27:18Nah.
27:19Nah, look, I'm not good at most things,
27:20if I'm honest about it.
27:21But, um, so...
27:24So what it does, right?
27:25Luke, did you want to check
27:26whether there's any, uh, psychokinetic energy?
27:29Because of the PlayStation thing.
27:31Yeah.
27:32It's clean.
27:33It's clean.
27:34Oh, thank you.
27:35It is weird,
27:36because my mum actually sold this murderer's house.
27:41So what it does,
27:42is these are all single notes,
27:44and they're sort of done in...
27:48in octaves.
27:50Um, and then on this side...
27:51Yes.
27:52..it pre-programs in, um,
27:53all of the notes play at the same time for that.
27:55OK.
27:56So if you pick a note,
27:57then the chords are suggested
27:58that would likely follow that particular...
28:00Yeah, pretty much.
28:01So at the moment,
28:02I've set it on the major G chord.
28:04Mm-hm.
28:05And so when I press this,
28:06it's saying that's G.
28:07That's happy.
28:08That sounds like a Christmas song.
28:09Already.
28:10Yes.
28:11Let's go...
28:12Oh, D minor.
28:13Oh, it's getting a bit minor,
28:14a bit sad now.
28:15A bit sad.
28:16Oh.
28:17Oh, no, I'm depressed.
28:18Oh, A diminished.
28:19Oh, I have hope.
28:21Um, now I'm...
28:24I'm confused now.
28:25I don't know what to feel.
28:26You know what?
28:27I'm just going to change it up here
28:28and see if this gets any happier.
28:30Be careful.
28:31One of them could be the brown note.
28:32Yeah.
28:35Oh, what is wrong with that?
28:41I mean, I don't know enough about music.
28:43Yeah.
28:44You clearly know nothing about music.
28:45That's true.
28:46I want to ask John.
28:47John, is this the way of the future, do you think?
28:49Well, I certainly hope not.
28:52What would you give that performance out of ten?
28:54Oh, me?
28:55Yes.
28:56A good sort of, uh, nine for originality.
28:58Thank you so much.
28:59That's nice.
29:00That's a great score.
29:01Wow.
29:02Congratulations.
29:03Wow.
29:05It's better than we've got.
29:06I mostly talked about going to the toilet.
29:08Speaking of going to the toilet,
29:09let's move on to your second item here.
29:12This is, uh, this is...
29:13What is this again?
29:14This is called a gluggle jug.
29:15Okay, gluggle jug.
29:16What kind of thing is that?
29:17It's a jug that goes gluggle.
29:18Okay.
29:19When you pour water out of it.
29:20That's nice.
29:21You're not using it as a jug though,
29:22you're using it as a vase, is that right?
29:23I am using it as a vase.
29:24Where is this in your home?
29:25Uh, this is actually at my partner's home.
29:27Right at the beginning of our relationship,
29:29we got addicted to this show called
29:31The Great Pottery Throwdown.
29:33Has anybody seen it?
29:35Has anybody seen The Great Pottery Throwdown?
29:37Nobody has.
29:38No.
29:39That's alright.
29:40But it involves making pots.
29:42Pottery, yeah.
29:43But there's this guy on it, the judge,
29:45and he's, he cries in like every episode
29:48because he's like,
29:49there's just so much love in this pot.
29:51And it's...
29:53When you got this, did you weep?
29:55I actually did.
29:56I cried a lot when I got this.
29:57How did you get this?
29:58We were watching this show together
29:59and they had this, yeah, week where the challenge
30:01was to make a gluggle jug.
30:03And we just thought it was so funny,
30:04what is a gluggle jug?
30:05And the way that they tested,
30:07the judges tested it was to see if it gluggled.
30:10And they were like,
30:11oh that's a good gluggle.
30:12And we just,
30:13we just thought it was the silliest thing ever.
30:15And so it became this like,
30:17inside joke for us.
30:18So we'd been talking for ages about,
30:20oh we should get one.
30:21And then I completely forgot about it.
30:22And then on Valentine's Day,
30:23our first Valentine's Day together,
30:25she got me this gluggle jug.
30:26That's lovely.
30:27Valentine's Day,
30:28which of course commemorates the famous massacre
30:30in 1925 in Chicago.
30:31Of course.
30:32Given the beautiful music you played on this earlier,
30:35I would like to hear the beautiful glugging of this,
30:37would you like to hear this jug make a noise?
30:40Alright, you grab that.
30:42I'll just, I'll chuck that.
30:46Is this stuck there?
30:48No.
30:49Oh, it's got water in it.
30:50Yeah, yeah.
30:51It's got to make a noise,
30:52you've got to put water in it.
30:53Of course.
30:54Yeah.
30:55Alright.
30:56Sorry.
30:57I was just going to say,
30:58you could have put that water in the jug.
30:59Yeah, we need to pour into it,
31:00so I thought we'd pour into it.
31:01Hang on just a sec.
31:02What sort of gluggle,
31:03is it a convincing gluggle?
31:04Is it a good gluggle?
31:05Have you...
31:06I have no idea.
31:07The whole time we've been going,
31:08what is a gluggle even?
31:09I still don't know.
31:10What a wonderful voyage of discovery we're going on together, Steph.
31:14Yes.
31:15Alright, here we go.
31:16Everyone quiet.
31:21Especially now, when it goes back in, I think...
31:23Does anybody know anything about gluggles?
31:26Well, one would have thought you might,
31:27but alright, we'll put this back in.
31:29Luke, if you could, off camera, make the noise of a gluggle jug,
31:33just so we got the end of the segment.
31:36Glug, glug, glug, glug.
31:40Steph, sizzle, that's fantastic.
31:41What a lovely gift.
31:42What would you, John?
31:43How would you get that out of 10, that beautiful noise?
31:46Oh, the sound effect is a good 8.73.
31:49That's great.
31:50That's great.
31:51I thoroughly enjoyed that.
31:52I also think we had one of those jugs at home growing up.
31:56I have a memory.
31:57Really?
31:58Also used it as a vase, never gluggled it.
31:59I mean, they are truly weird.
32:01It's just a fish-shaped jug.
32:02How much does that cost?
32:04Yeah.
32:05I have no idea.
32:06I didn't get it.
32:07Why is it shaped like a fish?
32:08Because normally fish are in water,
32:09rather than having water in them.
32:10No, I have no idea.
32:11Everything about it is strange,
32:14but there was one factory in the UK that did them, right?
32:19And so when you have an authentic one,
32:20this obviously isn't authentic,
32:21and I will be speaking to Jessie about that.
32:23Yeah, no, absolutely.
32:24I'd break up with her.
32:25Yeah, yeah, I might.
32:26I think I'm going to break up with her.
32:27I'll keep that up there.
32:28So then this factory shut down
32:30because nobody was buying glugl jugs,
32:32and then there was like randomly like a huge rise
32:34in like supporting this particular ceramic thing,
32:37and then somebody bought it
32:39because they had these beautiful memories of glugl jugs,
32:41and there was a little resurgence of glugl jugs.
32:43Yeah, but on the strength of what you said
32:45and what Ella said,
32:46glugl jugs are just shit.
32:48It means something to you.
32:51But the vase...
32:52The vase is beautiful.
32:53For some reason,
32:54it feels very representative of our relationship,
32:56so we could not be more different.
32:58Like we are proper opposites attract kind, right?
33:00She's quiet.
33:01She works in a bookshop.
33:02She sometimes goes in a bookshop with skates on.
33:05Like she's literally the cutest little girl next door.
33:07And I'm like...
33:09Like, dick in.
33:10You know?
33:11And...
33:12Sorry.
33:13That's alright.
33:14That's alright.
33:15But you don't move together?
33:16Are you...
33:17No, no, but we're going to move in together soon, right?
33:19We have really different tastes in like,
33:21you know, what looks good in the home.
33:24You want that?
33:25Yeah, I want that.
33:26And she's like,
33:27no, I want to have some class.
33:28But for some reason...
33:31For some reason,
33:32we both love this.
33:34And it's just like,
33:35this thing that it just...
33:37While we were getting close,
33:38we were watching this show and,
33:40you know,
33:41it kind of started with a little arm around the shoulder.
33:42You know what I mean?
33:43And it's just somehow
33:44really representative of this way that...
33:46Something that doesn't really make any sense.
33:48You and your partner are this fish.
33:50We are the glugl jug.
33:51You're hugging...
33:52The fish is hugging itself.
33:53Yes, that's right.
33:54I think that's a very beautiful thing.
33:55Yeah.
33:56Yeah, I made it sweet.
33:58It's also choking her death on flowers.
33:59I don't know.
34:03But they're flowers.
34:04They're beautiful roses.
34:05True.
34:06And that reminds us of Valentine's Day?
34:07Yeah, it does.
34:08That's right.
34:09You behave yourself
34:10or I'll get Steph to play some more on this.
34:14You know what?
34:15Let me help this situation up.
34:16Thank you very much indeed.
34:17Let's play together, you and I.
34:19John Eller.
34:20You can scat, Eller.
34:21John, just play one of your legs.
34:23Here we go.
34:24One, two, three.
34:25Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:29What a beautiful delimation of the human spirit.
34:34Would you please name Steph Tisdall, ladies and gentlemen?
34:38Merry Christmas.
34:39Now that sounds like that's the end of the show, but unfortunately, Christmas is a time
34:45for giving and our guests feel obliged to leave one of their items behind as a present
34:51for their house guests.
34:52And so you're only going to rescue one of your two chosen items.
34:56Luke.
34:57I would like to give away Steph's jug.
34:59I did leave it open-ended.
35:04You're giving away Steph's jug.
35:05Steph, which of Luke McGregor's things would you like to...
35:09No, you can have them both.
35:11All right.
35:12Well, okay.
35:13You can say which one you want to keep because you're looking sad.
35:17Don't do that.
35:18Despairing me.
35:19Which one do you want to save?
35:20Which one do you want to give away?
35:21I mean, I can re-buy this but I'll still keep the PK meter.
35:24You're going to give away this, the beautiful Michaela VHS.
35:29It's not a very good movie.
35:30Okay.
35:31That's okay.
35:32And Steph, if you had the choice between your two items, which one would you leave behind?
35:35I know it's hard.
35:36It's really hard because this feels like it's really representative of my family.
35:39Yeah.
35:40They loved you so much they pitched in and spent, you know, quite a bit of money on this.
35:43Yeah.
35:44But this is for my girlfriend and I and we're going to move in together soon and, you know,
35:48maybe have babies.
35:49So this is on TV, you know?
35:51Yeah.
35:52My family's going to be like, you bitch.
35:54And my girlfriend's going to be like, you bitch.
35:56Yeah, but that's only if they're watching.
35:58That's true.
35:59It's the ABC.
36:00That is true.
36:02So which one really could you do without, I suppose, is the way to look at it?
36:06I could probably do without the Glugwell Jog.
36:09She's going to kill you!
36:11No!
36:12But fortunately, Steph, fortunately, there is a Christmas miracle in the offing
36:17and John Foreman and Ella Hooper happen to be passing by and can rescue
36:20one of the left behind items.
36:22John and Ella, which item would you save of the two?
36:25We think we'll save the vase.
36:26We'll save the Glugwell Jog.
36:27Yeah.
36:28Okay, right.
36:29Well, the video's going then.
36:30Now, usually, that would mean we destroy the video in some outlandish fashion,
36:35but in keeping with the Christmas spirit, we'll instead be sprinkling magic snowflakes
36:39from Santa's North Pole workshop over it to destroy it instead.
36:42Okay, this is a special effect we're going to do in post.
36:47This will take a week to do.
36:49So you've got to act.
36:50You're both actors.
36:51You both get...
36:52That's great, Steph.
36:54That's fantastic.
36:55I felt it, yeah.
36:56Luke, you're not going to get another series out with Celia
37:00if that's the level of your acting.
37:02Okay, well, here we go.
37:03Look at that.
37:04It's permafrost.
37:05Isn't that amazing?
37:06Wow.
37:07That's very expensive.
37:08No, it's fine.
37:09It's magic.
37:12Please thank our guests, Steph Tisdall and Luke McGregor, ladies and gentlemen.
37:17The very talented John Foreman, we thank you so much, John, for taking the time.
37:22So I've just realised it's Christmas Eve, I've got a more important gig to get to.
37:25Yeah.
37:27Thanks, John.
37:28We must also thank the wonderful Ella Hooper.
37:31Ella, thank you so...
37:32See ya.
37:33Yep, okay.
37:34She's going.
37:35Until next time, if there is one, keep yourself safe and your stuff safer.
37:39We're next.
37:40We are on the Christmas Eve of destruction.
37:42Children laughing, parents snoring.
37:49Too much noise on Christmas morning.
37:52Christmas carols never bore us.
37:55Even ones without the chorus.
37:58Because of theineties.
37:59Two heads, do so.
38:01Three heads, stop.
38:02Two heads, go,Ч
38:18choose.
38:19NoH assim, noH then.
38:20Disposed.
38:21I'll see you next time,
38:23and vision for us until you Jen Egerton.
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