Everyone Does It

CineWorld Hub FX

18 hours ago

Transcript

00:00I'm so sorry.

00:03You're so sorry.

00:09I'm so sorry.

00:14I'm so sorry.

00:17I'm so sorry.

00:20I'm so sorry.

00:24I couldn't see you.

00:27I don't know.

00:57Heather, you're not ready?

01:16I am. I am. I am. I'm packed. I just need to pack some more, but I'm right there.

01:22Checkout is in like eight minutes.

01:23Yeah, coming.

01:24You all feel like shit. Just grab your stuff.

01:27It was the shots.

01:29Yeah, I know. I feel fucking diabolical. How was that stuff of illegal?

01:34I actually quite like them. I mean, it was authentic. It's nice to have an authentic experience.

01:40They say it's like shit. I'm meant to be meeting Jason when we get back.

01:44I might have to go home and die for a bit. Are you meeting Tom?

01:47I don't think so, no.

01:50Okay, let me help you back.

01:51Oh, it's fine. I'll meet you downstairs. Where is the booth again?

01:55Front reception. What are you hiding?

01:58Oh, nothing.

01:59Oh, what the fuck is that?

02:05Uh, Nathan? Honestly.

02:08Don't attack that. What the fuck?

02:10What? He's cute.

02:11I don't think that's shit. He's cute.

02:13You don't take that.

02:14Oh, look. Me and Tom aren't serious serious.

02:17I'm obviously not talking about that.

02:19I know he can be a bit possessive, but I mean, we're away, so we can't come after him or anything and think...

02:24Hello? Dick, Kenneth.

02:25Do you realise what you've done?

02:27How much trouble we could be in?

02:28Do you want to make some toothpaste?

02:33You fucked a guy?

02:34Yes. Just a little bit.

02:36I didn't know we were fucking guys.

02:37No, we're not fucking...

02:39Okay. Okay, that is the plan.

02:40Please deny. I'm going to get rid of him.

02:42Wait, like, get rid of him?

02:44Oh, my God, we don't have time. Can you get a macking?

02:46Chad, no, this is getting really dark.

02:48Get rid of him. Get rid of him.

02:49What the fuck do you think I am?

02:50I just mean, like, put him outside before Keena finds him.

02:53Why is everyone freaking out?

02:55Just don't the fuck about the guidelines, Heather.

02:58I haven't.

03:00Um, you fucked the guy from the past.

03:04Everyone does it.

03:05No. No. No one does it.

03:07No, they really don't.

03:08Yes, they do.

03:10My friend Clem had sex with a Victorian gentleman.

03:13Oh.

03:14Ew.

03:15At the very least, the travel company passed.

03:18No, no, no, no, people do it.

03:20Okay, there is that girl who fucked Charlie Chaplin.

03:23That's another myth.

03:24Everyone knows someone who fucked Chaplin.

03:25At the worst, we could get arrested.

03:27Well, more you than us.

03:28I've got four minutes.

03:29Can you...

03:30Everyone does it.

03:31Literally, no one does it.

03:32Do you realise the motions that you had potentially put in place?

03:36We could go back and why we don't exist.

03:38Have you thought about that?

03:39No.

03:40No.

03:40That makes sense.

03:41Cool.

03:42What was it like?

03:44Oh, the sex.

03:44Yeah.

03:45It was good, yeah.

03:46I mean, it was quite retro, but, like, nice, actually.

03:50And, like, I don't know, it was just authentic.

03:52Like, that's what I love about, like, pre-AI guys.

03:55Yeah.

03:55It's the authenticity.

03:57Guys, we need to plan.

03:59What are we going to do with him?

04:01Just leave him here.

04:02That's not fun.

04:04Okay.

04:05Okay.

04:06We could wake him up and tell him that we're housemates and that he has to leave right away,

04:13immediately, because we're having birthday breakfast.

04:19I mean, I would like to talk to him again.

04:21Do you think he'll buy them?

04:24Birthday breakfast?

04:24Yes.

04:25Hey, you know what?

04:26They are really stupid here.

04:28No.

04:28No, he's actually really smart.

04:30Like, he reads Kafka.

04:32Oh, fuck off.

04:32I don't think he reads Kafka, babe.

04:34Oh, Jesus.

04:34We don't have time.

04:35Mrs Booth has stranded.

04:36Did you use protection?

04:38Oh, no, no.

04:38He wasn't stanced.

04:39That's fine.

04:40Oh, so you went, like, flesh on flesh.

04:42Oh, no.

04:43They have all kinds of STDs here and shit.

04:45Heather, what?

04:47No one's stumped her.

04:48That that isn't a thing yet.

04:49What do you mean?

04:50Women take birth control in this era.

04:52What?

04:52Oh, my God, you're pregnant.

04:54And the father lives 80 years ago.

04:55Can we just get the fuck out of here?

04:57We're supposed to use a condom.

04:59A what, doll?

05:00It's sort of like a sheath for the penis.

05:03I don't know.

05:04It's prehistoric.

05:05Apparently it works.

05:06Oh, sorry.

05:07He seems clean.

05:08No, he looks poor.

05:09Look, I actually really like him.

05:11Like, we talk for ages and we have all...

05:13No, it's...

05:14Hang on, wait.

05:18Full transparency.

05:21I heard everything you were saying.

05:23What were you saying?

05:25Birthday breakfast.

05:26Because last night, you know, you were saying that you were just visiting for the weekend from Chippenham.

05:31Um, as in Chippenham now.

05:33As in Chippenham present day.

05:37Chipp-now.

05:37Yeah.

05:38As in now, Chippenham now.

05:39Yeah.

05:39Okay.

05:41What are you doing with your nose?

05:45Oh.

05:46Oh.

05:47Okay.

05:48Um, yeah.

05:50Uh, this is just a prank, isn't it?

05:51Yes.

05:52Yes.

05:52So it's a one-go.

05:53Yes.

05:54Yeah, that's it.

05:55Okay, but should we...

05:56We'll stop now, yeah?

05:57Let's just start again.

05:58Um...

05:58We don't need to.

05:59Hi, I'm...

06:00I'm Joel.

06:01Joel.

06:02You're Heather.

06:04And you are...

06:07I'll just say your fucking name.

06:10Joel.

06:11That's not your name.

06:12Right.

06:13Okay.

06:14And you?

06:15What's your name?

06:16Jennifer.

06:17Jennifer.

06:20Okay.

06:21Let's just take a deep breath.

06:26You...

06:26That's what you're saying.

06:28Could you be...

06:29pregnant?

06:31Is it...

06:33a future...

06:36baby?

06:37We've got a train to catch.

06:38It was so nice to meet you.

06:41But, yeah, thank you.

06:41Yeah.

06:42Thank you so much.

06:43You're fab.

06:44Really fit.

06:45Good day to you, sir.

06:46I cannot believe

06:56she had old-fashioned sex.

06:58Like, I could not even know...

06:59No!

07:00This is me.

07:02Hello?

07:21Hello?

07:21Come out, right?

07:28This isn't fucking funny.

07:29This is what I'm going to do.

07:51This is what I'm going to do.

07:55It's just a lie.

08:21You're watching me.

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