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Short filmTranscript
00:00I
00:29Well, howdy, partner. Welcome to QI
00:32for some highfalutin', rootin', tootin', sharpshootin'
00:34in our Wild West special. Yee-haw!
00:36Let's meet our lawless varmints.
00:39Rotten tarnation, it's Eshan Akbar.
00:45Wanted, dead or alive, it's Alex Brooker.
00:51Shoken Jehoshaphat, it's Joe Brand.
00:56And yippee-ki-yay, Mother Superior, it's Alan Davis.
00:59They're buzzers are from our own rodeo radio.
01:08Eshan goes...
01:10Oh, nice.
01:19Alex goes...
01:20This is great.
01:24Are you just getting overexcited, Alex?
01:31I need that chair for other people, don't you?
01:35Joe goes...
01:37Oh, yeah.
01:40And Alan goes...
01:46Three wheels on my wife.
01:50And I'm still rolling along.
01:55Right, let's mosey on down to question one.
01:58Stop me when you know what I'm talking about.
02:01Okay, they used whips,
02:03they wore leather chaps,
02:04big boots, even bigger hats,
02:06used lassos,
02:07invented the rodeo,
02:09were mostly boys who herded cows
02:12in the 18th century.
02:15Two wheels on my wagon.
02:20Er, cowboys.
02:23APPLAUSE
02:24It's not cowboys?
02:28No, it's not cowboys.
02:30Cowgirls.
02:31LAUGHTER
02:32I mean, let's just go for cows.
02:47So most of the things that we associate
02:49with the all-American cowboy
02:51originate from the Mexican vaquero.
02:53Cattle hand, so vaca, meaning cow.
02:55It comes from Spain,
02:56starts in about the 15th century,
02:58well established by the 17th century.
03:00So the cowboy that we think of,
03:02which is honestly mostly from the movies,
03:04comes to the US in the 19th century
03:06when they begin to get these big
03:08cattle ranching regions.
03:10Now, you've all got some bits and pieces
03:11to put on,
03:12some little bit of dressing up today.
03:15Yeah.
03:15OK.
03:16Oh, yes.
03:17Here we go.
03:18Yeah.
03:19Now we're talking for good stuff.
03:21Oh, they're spurs, Sandy, they're spurs.
03:24Yes, yes.
03:24They're very sharp.
03:25Are we meant to put that on?
03:26LAUGHTER
03:27I'm going to say, Joe,
03:31if you just wear that,
03:32you will definitely win.
03:33I'm just...
03:33LAUGHTER
03:34What kind of hat are you wearing, Alex?
03:36What is it called?
03:38It's not a trick question,
03:39do you?
03:40Cowboy hat.
03:41You look like a sort of...
03:42I don't know.
03:43A mad mystic woman who's going to...
03:45LAUGHTER
03:46What were the hats called?
03:48Anybody?
03:49Ten-gallon hat.
03:50Ten-gallon hat.
03:51Do you think it had ten gallons in it?
03:54Yes.
03:54No.
03:55It actually came from the vaqueros' sombrero,
03:58and it really didn't become popular until the 1920s,
04:01which is, like, way after the Wild West.
04:04Most cowboys wore bowler hats.
04:06They were called them derby hats.
04:07And, of course, they didn't hold ten gallons.
04:09Maybe it came from the Spanish tangalan,
04:12meaning so gallant.
04:13Probably, it's just an exaggeration.
04:15So we had a go at making a hat
04:16that could actually hold ten gallons.
04:20Now, this...
04:22Whoa!
04:32It looks like you're about to go on a hen-do
04:33and drink out of that.
04:36I'm on if you are.
04:37Yeah.
04:37Weirdly, this is actually only five gallons.
04:39Do you want to try it on?
04:40If it had been ten gallons,
04:42it would have been as tall as me.
04:43So tiny, then?
04:45LAUGHTER
04:46Oh, that's...
04:47Fantastic.
04:48Could have a funnel off a steamship.
04:49LAUGHTER
04:50The other thing they had, of course,
04:55is they had whips and lassoos.
04:57But they had this thing, when they were lassoing,
04:59you had to be incredibly careful
05:01because the rope was very, very strong
05:03and you could get your thumb trapped in the rope
05:06if you didn't throw it properly
05:08and it would come clean off.
05:10Oh!
05:10Don't know why I'm looking at you.
05:11LAUGHTER
05:12I'll tell you what,
05:23I'd have made a shit cowboy.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:25They'd be like,
05:26he still ain't learnt with the rope.
05:28It took the thumb,
05:28it took the other two bugs,
05:29isn't it?
05:31It was called rodeo thumb.
05:33Rodeo thumb?
05:34I know, you wouldn't think it'd be that strong,
05:36would you, the rope?
05:36I know, absolutely.
05:38What is one of the things in the movies, though,
05:41about the way in which cowboys
05:42are pretty much always depicted?
05:44They were always having a row, weren't they?
05:46Yes.
05:47They were always there in the pub.
05:49There were some football fans.
05:50Yeah.
05:51So, almost always depicted as white men.
05:54But it wasn't true.
05:55About a third of cowhands
05:56were indigenous Mexicans
05:58or mixed-raced mestizos
05:59and about a quarter were black.
06:02There was a guy called Nate Love.
06:03He was known as Deadwood Dick.
06:05LAUGHTER
06:08He became a cowboy
06:12after he was freed from slavery
06:14and he has an amazing autobiography.
06:16It's the only complete story
06:18of a black cowboy.
06:19He's amazing.
06:20He drank with Billy the Kid.
06:21He got shot 14 times.
06:22He once lassoed a train.
06:25Wow!
06:26Yeah.
06:27He'd just met his future wife
06:28and he was absolutely drunk on love,
06:30I imagine, and whiskey.
06:31And he was dragged into a ditch
06:33and he wrote in his autobiography,
06:34Roping a live engine
06:36is by long odds
06:37worse than roping wild buffalo.
06:39But my love was as strong as ever
06:41and I thanked my lucky star.
06:42She did not see me
06:43as they dragged me out of the ditch.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:46Wow.
06:47The thing is,
06:48if you've survived being shot 14 times...
06:50Yeah.
06:50..you'd back yourself lassoing a train,
06:52wouldn't you?
06:52Yeah, exactly.
06:53You were going to say 50 Cent at that point,
06:55wouldn't you?
06:55LAUGHTER
06:56I've got a new 50 Cent reference
06:59to a QI audience.
07:00LAUGHTER
07:01You would love that.
07:02A big crossover.
07:03The QI audience and the 50 Cent.
07:0550 Cent.
07:05LAUGHTER
07:05OK, here's another question.
07:08Where did the famous gunfight
07:09between the Clanton gang
07:11and Wyatt Earp's gang
07:12take place?
07:14Well, I wanted to make a noise,
07:15so I'm going to say
07:17the OK Corral.
07:18CHEERING
07:19So, we're looking here,
07:26Ike Clanton on the left,
07:27a wrong'un,
07:28and Wyatt Earp,
07:30who, at that time of the photograph,
07:32was a marshal in Dodge City in Kansas.
07:34So, we've got the bad guys
07:35against the law guys,
07:37and we talk about the OK Corral,
07:39but where did it actually take place?
07:41Croydon.
07:41LAUGHTER
07:42The OK Corral was near Tombstone,
07:45wasn't it?
07:46Yeah.
07:46It actually took place
07:47in an empty lot
07:49next to a photo studio,
07:50and it should be called
07:51The Gunfight Outside Fly's
07:53Photographic Studio.
07:55LAUGHTER
07:56In fact, that picture
07:59that we showed of Clanton
08:00in Tombstone
08:01was almost certainly taken
08:03at Fly's Photographic Studio.
08:05So, The Gunfight did take place
08:061881 in Tombstone, Arizona,
08:07but when the newspapers
08:09wrote about it,
08:09the first thing they wrote
08:10was there was a fight
08:11on Fremont Street,
08:13and that lasted
08:14for about 50 years,
08:15and then Wyatt Earp
08:16published his biography
08:17in 1931,
08:19and that's when it became
08:20the fight at the OK Corral.
08:22So, it is remembered
08:23as a shootout
08:23between a group of lawmen
08:24and a gang of outlaws,
08:26although lots of the lawmen
08:27were a bit dodgy themselves.
08:29Here's the thing about it.
08:31There were 30 shots fired
08:32in the 30-second fight.
08:34How many people do you think died?
08:35They were only six feet apart,
08:37these people.
08:38All of them.
08:39No, three.
08:39They must have been really shit shots.
08:41Oh, God.
08:42LAUGHTER
08:42LAUGHTER
08:43Six feet apart,
08:4530 shots,
08:4530 seconds,
08:46three dead people.
08:47Doesn't seem like a very good...
08:48Who was shooting Brooker?
08:49LAUGHTER
08:50LAUGHTER
08:51LAUGHTER
08:51LAUGHTER
08:52LAUGHTER
08:53Brucker, no!
08:54I mean,
08:54come back, come back, come back, come back!
08:56LAUGHTER
08:57I'd have been in 30 seconds,
08:58I'd have still been trying to get it out of the old stuff.
09:00LAUGHTER
09:00Anyway, so get this out for me, mate,
09:02we're just...
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03I'll hold it, you pull the trigger, mate.
09:04LAUGHTER
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07LAUGHTER
09:08Now, here's some Wild West legends.
09:10Can you tell me how they got their nicknames?
09:13So, this is Wild Bill Hickok.
09:15Oh, is that how you say it?
09:17What did you think it was?
09:18Wild Bill Hickok.
09:19Yes.
09:20Oh.
09:21I mean, depends if he's wearing the chaps.
09:23LAUGHTER
09:27My little brother, when he was about six,
09:28he thought he was called Wild Bill Hickok.
09:29LAUGHTER
09:30So, his real name was James Butler Hickok.
09:31We're not sure, but it's possibly to do with a bit of teasing.
09:33So, some people said that he had a long nose and quite protruding lips,
09:37and he looked a bit like a duck.
09:39LAUGHTER
09:40That's real.
09:41Yes.
09:42His nickname was...
09:43LAUGHTER
09:44LAUGHTER
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47LAUGHTER
09:48LAUGHTER
09:49LAUGHTER
09:50LAUGHTER
09:51LAUGHTER
09:52LAUGHTER
09:53LAUGHTER
09:54LAUGHTER
09:55His nickname was Duck Bill, and he decided he didn't like Duck Bill,
10:00but he would OK if he was Wild Bill.
10:02Has he not realised he's got, like, the wrong hat on for a cowboy?
10:05LAUGHTER
10:06I'm Cossack!
10:07Wild Bill Cossack!
10:08LAUGHTER
10:09Shut up, Duck Bill!
10:11Fuck you, man!
10:12I ain't Duck Bill!
10:12I'm Cossack!
10:13LAUGHTER
10:14LAUGHTER
10:16I'm starting to think on Wikipedia, and you is going to be Duck Bill!
10:20LAUGHTER
10:22He did have a really boring brother called Lorenzo, who used to be known as Tame Bill.
10:28Tame Bill.
10:29LAUGHTER
10:30But it did kind of predict what was going to happen while Bill was shot in the back while
10:34playing cards when he was just 39.
10:36And old Lorenzo, Tame Bill, lived into his 80s.
10:39I'm just saying it.
10:40Next one is called Big Nose Kate.
10:42Oh.
10:43LAUGHTER
10:44Which one do you think is Big Nose?
10:47LAUGHTER
10:48Hopefully normal noses.
10:49I know, right?
10:50It's like, you've got to go to VAR on this.
10:52LAUGHTER
10:53Get the lines out!
10:54LAUGHTER
10:56Is it referring to another part of their announcement?
10:58LAUGHTER
11:00So, which one do you think?
11:01So, one is her sister Wilma, and one is Big Nose Kate.
11:04Kate's on the left.
11:05Kate is on the left, yes.
11:07I mean, some people say it's because she used to stick her nose in other people's business.
11:11She was the long-term companion of Doc Holliday.
11:15She was with him at the gunfight at the OK Corral, or the photographic studio,
11:19watching from a nearby window.
11:22I'd do that.
11:23Would you? Just watch.
11:24LAUGHTER
11:25I'd go to the window if I heard a gunfight.
11:27Yeah.
11:28She worked as a sporting woman. Anybody?
11:30Is that like a brass?
11:31Is that a prostitute?
11:32It is a prostitute, yes, yes.
11:34Is that like a brass?
11:35LAUGHTER
11:37What a team we are.
11:41Come on.
11:42Get that on a BBC poster.
11:44LAUGHTER
11:46APPLAUSE
11:54The BBC, for everyone.
11:56LAUGHTER
12:01There are other ones.
12:02Richard Rattlesnake, Dick Barter.
12:04Ooh!
12:05What?
12:06Rattlesnake.
12:07Rattlesnake, Dick.
12:08Rattlesnake, Dick.
12:09Rattlesnake, Dick.
12:10Rattlesnake, Dick.
12:11What a nickname that is.
12:12That is good.
12:13At the urinal.
12:14I can hear him.
12:15LAUGHTER
12:16LAUGHTER
12:17Rattlesnake, Dick.
12:19Rattlesnake, Dick.
12:20Richard's going to the toilet.
12:21Yeah.
12:22LAUGHTER
12:23Go on, Richard, do it again!
12:25LAUGHTER
12:26You're at the Rattlesnake mine, where he kept telling everybody he was going to make his fortune.
12:33OK.
12:34Next question.
12:35What use is a square wagon wheel?
12:38Stopped me rolling away.
12:40That is a very good point.
12:42But in this case, wagon is a person's name.
12:44So in 1997 there was a professor called Stan Wagon at McAllister College in Minnesota and he made a functioning square wheeled tricycle.
12:55OK.
12:56This is not him, this is a man who, I don't know, in a suit.
12:59LAUGHTER
13:00And he's called Stan Wagon?
13:02The guy who invented it is called Stan Wagon.
13:05Did J.K. Rowling name him?
13:06LAUGHTER
13:08So in order for a wheel to work at all, the centre has to be level, right?
13:13And so the easiest way is to make a round wheel.
13:15But if you make a specific track, so you can see he's on a very specific track here, then the wheels can be any shape, pretty much, apart from triangles, really.
13:23So look at this, right?
13:24This is a rather brilliant bus, but it doesn't go anywhere because it's got square wheels.
13:29However, if you make a surface like this, which has got what these humps are called inverted catenaries, and basically, look, along it goes like that.
13:43I know.
13:44So the reason this is interesting, there's an engineer called Gerard Font, and he thinks because stones with very similar curves were found in Giza,
13:53this method may have been what helped people to roll the blocks into place for the pyramids.
13:58So I guess you can see it's kind of pointless, but it's also interesting.
14:02Yeah.
14:03How did they do that?
14:04But that road there looks like every 20 mile an hour there near a school anyway.
14:07Yeah, that is so true.
14:08LAUGHTER
14:10Isn't it fascinating?
14:11Wouldn't it be great to have a car with square wheels? I just really like it.
14:14I really don't think it would.
14:15No?
14:16LAUGHTER
14:17Just for one speed bump, here we go.
14:22Yeah, here we go.
14:23That comes into its own.
14:25Oh, well.
14:26It's just me.
14:27I like a square wagon wheel, that's just the way I roll.
14:30Nice.
14:31Come on.
14:32I like it.
14:33Thank you, I appreciate that.
14:35Right, let's move on to a question about wondrous wealth.
14:38In which state was the first American gold rush?
14:43Wasn't it like California?
14:45Oh!
14:46Oh!
14:47Oh!
14:48Oh!
14:49Oh!
14:50Oh!
14:51Arizona.
14:52Nevada.
14:53LAUGHTER
14:59We're talking about 1799, the United States is newly formed.
15:04Oh, so it's got to be over to the east.
15:06Yeah.
15:07New York State.
15:12We have another 46 to go, so I'm going to stop you there.
15:16North Carolina was the very first time.
15:18So there was a child playing called Conrad Reed and he found a nugget of gold,
15:22described as the size of a shoe, and for three years the family used it as a doorstop.
15:29So 1799, they find this thing, they keep it as a doorstop for three years,
15:33and then his father thought, I wonder what I could get for it?
15:35And he took it along to a silversmith and he got $3.50.
15:40It was actually worth $3,600.
15:44I mean, this is at the time, right?
15:46Yeah.
15:47The California gold rush doesn't come until 1849.
15:48What is the most successful method that people have ever seen?
15:49So they thought, oh, let's go look for some more.
15:51And over the next 20 years they found $100,000 worth of gold.
15:55This is $100,000 at the time.
15:56I mean, we're talking millions.
15:57Damn.
15:58Yeah.
15:59And basically it was just what they could find in the river.
16:01There were no actual mineshafts dug until the 1830s.
16:04So the geezer who bought it off and didn't go, by the way, just out of interest, where'd you...?
16:08Yeah, have you got any...?
16:09The California gold rush doesn't come until 1849.
16:14What is the most successful method that people used to make their fortune in the California gold rush?
16:21Probably selling things to the gold rushers.
16:24Sell supplies to the prospectors, absolutely.
16:26The very first American millionaire was a journalist and also a shopkeeper called Sam Brannan.
16:31And someone came into his store with a lump of gold and instead of looking for gold himself,
16:36he bought all of the shovels and pickaxes and so on and went out into the town shouting,
16:40there's gold in them there, hills!
16:43And everybody came.
16:44He bought pans for 20 cents, which he then sold for $15.
16:48There are accounts of single lemons selling for a dollar, which is about $40 today,
16:53because people were frightened about getting scurvy.
16:56A single pair of boots today in our money, $2,300.
17:00And one farmer earned the equivalent of $160,000 in 1849 just selling onions.
17:06Like Disney, they get you with the merch, didn't they?
17:08Yeah.
17:09Once you're there and shop every five metres, they know.
17:12Now, who has been unfairly called a glutton for as long as we can remember?
17:18Is it me?
17:20LAUGHTER
17:23LAUGHTER
17:25Can I just say, you're looking very beautiful.
17:28Fuck off.
17:29Yeah.
17:30LAUGHTER
17:32Genuinely true, I told a friend of mine that I wanted to go on a weight loss kick
17:36and she said to me, yeah, but you're so handsome.
17:38That's got nothing to do with it.
17:40She was in her own way, in a woman's way, saying, yeah, you should.
17:43LAUGHTER
17:46My stepdad, Keith, went on a diet and he's a big old geezer
17:49and he just wasn't losing any weight.
17:51And my mum went, he's trying so hard, bless him,
17:53and he ain't losing any weight.
17:55And then one day he said he was going out to get the papers
17:58and when I looked back on the CCTV on the door,
18:01I saw him go round the side of the house smashing fish and chips.
18:04LAUGHTER
18:05It's the sort of thing where I could have gone up to him privately
18:07and gone, mate, look, I know you've been smashing the fish and chips
18:10on the side.
18:11Mm-mm-mm.
18:12Not me.
18:13I didn't wait until everyone was in the house.
18:15LAUGHTER
18:16My wife, my mum, my in-laws, and I got the iPad out and I went,
18:20here's the evidence.
18:21LAUGHTER
18:23I don't know which is weirder, him doing that,
18:25are you watching it or...?
18:26LAUGHTER
18:28So are you doing that a Zen pic thing, then?
18:31No.
18:32I considered it.
18:33I'm just trying to go...
18:35I'm just trying to be in a calorie deficit, really.
18:37And, erm, it's not working, so...
18:39LAUGHTER
18:40Oh, you poor thing, it's very boring, doing calorie...
18:43Oh, that's why I've stopped.
18:45LAUGHTER
18:46There you go.
18:47We are talking about the wild life of the Wild West.
18:51Anybody think of it's a W?
18:53Particular creature in the Wild West.
18:55A warthog.
18:56No.
18:57LAUGHTER
19:00I don't think of a single movie where a cowboy goes,
19:03oh, my Lord, it's a warthog.
19:05LAUGHTER
19:06We've got three different versions of The Lion King.
19:08LAUGHTER
19:09So, not a wallaby, then?
19:12No.
19:13No, no.
19:14Er...
19:15The Wolverine was...
19:16Well, how would we get that?
19:18How the...?
19:19Isn't it magnificent?
19:21Do you not think?
19:22Its range reached down the American West
19:24as far as California's Sierra Nevada.
19:26I thought it was Hugh Jackman.
19:28Yeah, so did I.
19:29LAUGHTER
19:30I think it's been to a dentist in Turkey as well.
19:33LAUGHTER
19:34LAUGHTER
19:35Don't you think it looks weird when people's teeth are that perfect?
19:40Yes!
19:41It looks so weird.
19:42Yes.
19:43That's why mine are all yellow with bits of green stuff in them.
19:46LAUGHTER
19:47It's nice to keep a bit of salad for later.
19:49LAUGHTER
19:51So, these are most closely related to Martins, which is a weasel-like carnivore.
19:56They were called Gulo Gulo, their Latin name meaning glutton, glutton,
20:00but it's a mistranslation.
20:02So, the old Norwegian for a Wolverine was Fjellfrås, which means mountain cat.
20:08It was translated into German as a rather similar sounding Wielfrås, which means eats a lot.
20:14Oh.
20:15It's not fair.
20:16One nickname sticks.
20:17I know, right?
20:18LAUGHTER
20:19There are stories that it eats so much it forces its faeces out of its body to make more space.
20:25LAUGHTER
20:27We've all been there boxing, though.
20:29LAUGHTER
20:31Well, then after eight, hang on, I've got to go to the loo.
20:34LAUGHTER
20:37Does anybody eat after eights at any other time other than Boxing Day, just after lunch?
20:41I have some on my coffee table, so I have it pretty much every night.
20:44How's that net deficit going?
20:46LAUGHTER
20:51Every time you meet someone who says,
20:53Oh, I'm trying to lose weight, and then the next sentence,
20:56Yeah, I always have after eights.
20:58LAUGHTER
20:59It's not the whole thing, just one.
21:01No-one has one after eight.
21:02I have one.
21:03It's the single most moorish thing in the world.
21:05I've got really good self-control, actually.
21:06LAUGHTER
21:10Well, I can't think why there's a problem.
21:12LAUGHTER
21:15So, they are amazing creatures.
21:16They're really adapted to snowy, mountainous conditions.
21:19But what is incredible about them?
21:20So, when they step onto the snow, their paws spread out to twice the original size.
21:25So, it's like having built-in snowshoes.
21:27And each paw has got five extremely sharp claws.
21:30So, they can climb a sheer cliff or an icefall or whatever.
21:33They have an extraordinary keen sense of smell.
21:36So, they can smell prey 20 feet under the snow.
21:40Why might that be a good thing?
21:42Because that's where prey hides.
21:44Home.
21:45It's where prey hibernates.
21:46Oh, how annoying.
21:47Yeah.
21:48They never even see it coming.
21:49And they also use snow, a bit like refrigerators, for keeping food fresh.
21:53They have special teeth.
21:55These are not from Turkey.
21:56These are their own teeth.
21:57Special teeth at the back of the jaws, which are rotated 90 degrees to the rest, so that
22:02they can crunch frozen food.
22:04That's something you could get, that, darling.
22:06And then...
22:07What is happening?
22:09You wouldn't have to defrost.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Just go straight in.
22:14Iceland.
22:15Boom.
22:16Yeah, boom.
22:17I want nice food.
22:19I'm not that desperate.
22:21Well, that's good.
22:23Um...
22:24OK, time for general ignorance.
22:27Fingers on buzzers, please.
22:29Which US state inspired the writers of the hit song, Take Me Home Country Roads?
22:35West Virginia?
22:37I mean, it's like I open a trap door, isn't it?
22:45So, anybody remember who sang it?
22:48John Denver.
22:49John Denver.
22:50Colorado, then.
22:51No.
22:52Kentucky.
22:53Let's do some states.
22:54North Dakota.
22:56Nope.
22:57South Dakota.
22:59We've run out of Dakotas now.
23:01Hawaii.
23:02Pennsylvania.
23:03So, it was written by Bill Danoff and Taffy Nyvert.
23:07And they've got the...
23:09Mississippi.
23:10Michigan.
23:11Uxco.
23:12Texas.
23:13Oregon.
23:14Ohio.
23:15Nevada.
23:16Washington.
23:17Argonne.
23:18Begins with M.
23:19Michigan.
23:20Missouri.
23:21Mississippi.
23:22Massachusetts.
23:23Massachusetts.
23:24Massachusetts.
23:25Mumbai.
23:26Maryland.
23:27Oh!
23:28Maryland!
23:29Where are the cookies?
23:30Where are the cookies come from?
23:31Do you only have one?
23:32Yeah.
23:33Yeah.
23:34No way.
23:35One Maryland cookie.
23:36One Maryland cookie.
23:37One halfway.
23:38A maple tart.
23:39One custard cream.
23:40One...
23:41One Viscount biscuit.
23:42Nice.
23:43A breakaway.
23:44A penguin.
23:45All lined up.
23:46God, now Alan's going to be naming biscuits all night though.
23:47A pink wafer.
23:48A jammy dodger.
23:49A Gary Pooley.
23:50Neither John Denver, nor Bill, nor Taffy, who wrote the song, had ever beaten.
23:51to West Virginia when they recorded this song and they chose it because it's got loads
23:58of poetic sounding landmarks like the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River but
24:11they're mostly actually in Virginia, I mean really the song should be called
24:17It's a branch of a brick and a brick and a brick and a brick and a brick.
24:21Another branch of a brick and a brick with a brick and a brick and a brick.
24:25They're mostly actually in Virginia.
24:26I mean, really, the song should be called It's About the West of Virginia.
24:29There was a brief while they thought about using Massachusetts
24:32to fill in a four-syllable gap in the song.
24:34Do you know the wonderful song Moon River by Johnny Mercer?
24:37It's got a great line in it.
24:38My Huckleberry Friend.
24:39It's one of the kind of great lyrics of all time.
24:42And Huckleberry was a placeholder by Johnny Mercer when he was writing it
24:45because he wanted that sound.
24:47Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
24:48And he thought, I'll just put that in for a moment.
24:50And then they recorded it, and it has now become one of the great lyrics of all time.
24:53It's like I never knew what apple-bottom jeans were.
24:56Oh, yeah.
24:57Food sweep the floor.
24:59Have you ever heard, do you know that?
25:01No.
25:02The whole world's looking at her.
25:05She got the flow.
25:07She got low, low, low, low.
25:11Do you have one of those puzzles to stop people listening?
25:14Sorry?
25:15It's the young people's turn, then.
25:19And as soon as some young people turn up, we'll let them out.
25:23Which company was formed in 1850 by Henry Wells and William G. Fargo?
25:35Wells Fargo.
25:37Oh!
25:37They did set up Wells Fargo, but not in 1850.
25:46Oh.
25:46Yeah.
25:46Yeah.
25:471852, they set that up.
25:49What did they set up first?
25:52Fargo and Wells.
25:53It's still going.
26:00It's one of the most famous companies in the world.
26:02McDonald's.
26:03Coca-Cola.
26:04It's American Express.
26:06Oh.
26:07Yes!
26:07Along with a man called John Butterworth, in 1850, they set up American Express to deliver
26:12goods around the East Coast.
26:15And the Wells Fargo Company was created to move goods around the West.
26:19Basically, it was profiting from the gold rush.
26:21American Express.
26:22Extraordinary.
26:22By the end of the Civil War, 900 offices in 10 states.
26:26Almost 10,000 miles of railway and express routes.
26:29It's the largest empire of stagecoaches in the world, and they made an absolute fortune.
26:35In fact, when Fargo died, his home was so expensive to maintain, they knocked it down.
26:40Whoa!
26:41Yeah.
26:41The largest city in North Dakota is called Fargo, also named after him.
26:45But I'm a huge fan of Henry Wells.
26:48Is that him on the right?
26:49On the left.
26:50Henry Wells is on the left.
26:51I like the other one.
26:52Do you?
26:53Oh.
26:53Yeah.
26:53Why is that?
26:54You don't have to get off with him.
26:55It's what they do.
26:57Well, I think, Joe, you will like Henry Wells.
27:01He believed in the education of women, and you have to understand how rare this is.
27:05Pfft.
27:07LAUGHTER
27:08He described the education of women as the dream of his life.
27:15He said,
27:15It is commonly said that women's mind is not capable of attaining to a higher order of discipline.
27:21Not acknowledging this, let me say, give her the opportunity.
27:26Yeah.
27:26Fantastic.
27:27APPLAUSE
27:29But when did he say, get us a cup of tea, love?
27:34LAUGHTER
27:35He did.
27:38He probably did.
27:39Even today, Wells Fargo, fourth largest bank in the United States, it still continues.
27:43All of which brings us to the end of the line, so let's see who's cut the mustard and who couldn't teach a hen to cluck.
27:47Couldn't you just do that last bit in an American accent?
27:51Uh, OK.
27:52All of which brings us to the end of the line, so let's see who's cut the mustard and who couldn't teach a hen to cluck.
27:57LAUGHTER
27:58APPLAUSE
28:00In last place tonight, it's got a bit ugly for Ishan with minus 47.
28:09APPLAUSE
28:10In third place with minus 29, it was pretty bad, Alan.
28:15APPLAUSE
28:16In second place, it's quite good for Joe with minus 27.
28:21And our winner, putting the OK in the OK corral, with minus 19, it's Alex.
28:29APPLAUSE
28:31Thank you to Alex, Ishan, Joe and Alan, and I leave you with this, not from the Wild West, but from May West.
28:44I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone without men who'd do up the zipper on the back of your dress.
28:51Good night.
28:51APPLAUSE
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