- 13 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00...at tomorrow.
00:22Welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos.
00:25And now, here he is, the host of our show,
00:28Alfonso Ribeiro!
00:33Whoo! Let's do it!
00:40Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:41Thank you, come here. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:44Hello and welcome to AFV.
00:46Now, I must warn you that we made tonight's show extra funny.
00:50A little too funny, I'm afraid,
00:52so avoid drinking any liquids during the show
00:54for fear of doing a spit-take on a family member.
00:58Unless you've been wanting to do a spit-take on a family member
01:01and have just been waiting for the right excuse,
01:03in which case, forget what I just said,
01:05let the spit-takes begin.
01:07It's already 8 at night, it's so light, you guys.
01:11It's a beautiful evening to go boating.
01:16It's a valley, I know. Oh, my gosh.
01:21But she has to settle for floating.
01:24Interesting day on the ladies' team.
01:31A little-known method for scaring off bees?
01:34Littering!
01:41Jump out of the bed immediately.
01:43Or I'm going to quit doing that.
01:44And then I'm going to take away treats like the cookies we just made.
01:47And then we're going to stop doing stuff like cheerleading
01:49or anything like that.
01:50If you don't, start listening.
01:51So lay down.
01:52So that's how I want to play, huh?
02:03Before they decided to have a garage sale,
02:05they thought about just throwing their junk out.
02:07Well, it's still not too late.
02:20I don't know what this is.
02:21I don't know if I want to open it.
02:22Yeah, you don't have to.
02:24Ooh!
02:25All right!
02:27Good job, Allie!
02:28Whoo!
02:29Oh, my God, no, no!
02:32Well, the bridal shower invite didn't say,
02:34no kids allowed.
02:37The hoverboard craze started with a bang
02:44and ended with a smash.
02:51Please, let's close the window!
02:56There are two L's in llama
03:01and a whole lot of snot.
03:03That was fun!
03:04That was fun!
03:05That was fun!
03:12Release the hounds.
03:16It's time to go to the dog park.
03:19Oh, whiskey.
03:20Oh, honey.
03:22Are you serious right now?
03:24Oh, God.
03:26You're going to get me in trouble.
03:28I don't know if he's doing this because he loves mud
03:31or because he loves baths.
03:38All right.
03:39Wait.
03:40Stolen.
03:41She's trying the temptation challenge with her German shepherd.
03:45Stolen.
03:46Hey.
03:47Stolen.
03:48And that German shepherd's about to learn that it doesn't always pay to play by the rules.
03:53Especially when there's peanut butter on the line.
03:55Freeze!
04:04Some dogs bet.
04:05Some take a more hands-on approach.
04:07Three.
04:08She's like, look.
04:09Look, I'm a snake.
04:15Who did this?
04:17Who did it?
04:19She has a bad poker face.
04:22Who did that?
04:24And an even worse poker tail.
04:26Hershey?
04:28Was it you?
04:31Are you stuck, Romeo?
04:34Did you fall into a movie trap?
04:46Subtlety is not this dog's specialty.
04:48Aw, who can resist those sad puppy dog eyes?
05:09Someone tell him that he has a dog license, not a captain's license.
05:14Who, look him up!
05:23When you're having fun with your family, time flies.
05:26But when you're with your family watching videos of other people having fun with their families,
05:31time flies even faster.
05:33If you don't know what I mean, you will in another minute and 13 seconds.
05:37We come together, yeah, in stormy weather.
05:40And when it rains, you make it better.
05:44There's no you or I and we.
05:47Good times, bad times, you can count on me.
05:49We laugh, we cry, we family.
05:51Our roots in the twine just like a tree, yeah.
05:54To and fro, here we go.
05:56That's how we rollin', yeah.
05:58Back and forth, give and take.
06:00Let me kiss that boy.
06:02I got you.
06:05And you got me.
06:08Take all the pieces and they fit naturally.
06:13We're like family.
06:15We're just like family.
06:17We talk all day like words of time.
06:19When we disagree, we know things are fine.
06:21We gon' bounce right back, show a slice of pie.
06:23Two birds of a feather, that's how we fly.
06:25I got your back, you got mine.
06:27So if I beatbox, you kick the rhyme.
06:29Like, I'm groovin', you groovin', hey.
06:31I'm rollin', you rollin', hey.
06:33I got you.
06:35Yeah.
06:37And you got me.
06:41Take all the pieces and they fit naturally.
06:45We're like family.
06:47We're just like family.
06:48We're just like family.
06:53Got a funny video?
06:55Upload it to AFV.com.
06:59Take all the pieces and they fit naturally.
07:03We're like family.
07:09Half of the world is below average intelligence.
07:13That's not an insult.
07:15That's just simple math.
07:17Well, it's simple math for some people.
07:20I mean, not the people in this Boneheads package,
07:22but you know, some people.
07:25Nice cactuses.
07:27Or is it cacti?
07:29Well, whatever they're called, you probably don't want to sit on them.
07:36Good!
07:43The question we got on that little quiz last night when you were taking a bath,
07:49and it was when was basically America founded,
07:53and you didn't know the date.
07:55Do you remember what it was?
07:57No.
07:59It's not relevant.
08:01No one cares.
08:03No, no one cares?
08:05Why?
08:06What does your shirt say?
08:08I don't know.
08:09I hope they're not paying this guy by the hour.
08:28Hey, you got your Oreos!
08:30You stole your Oreos!
08:32I knew what bears do in the woods,
08:35and now I know what they do in the parking lot.
08:36Hi, Bear!
08:38I really didn't mean it.
08:40Ah!
08:41He's right there!
08:43I just hope he doesn't come back for milk.
08:47This is why they don't wear corsages in the LPGA.
08:50You ready?
08:51Yep.
08:52He brought his new driver all the way up the mountain.
08:53He should have brought his new gloves, too.
08:54I'm getting it.
08:55I'm getting it.
08:56I'm so glad I got that on video.
08:58I'm so glad I got that on video.
08:59Trash cans aren't really a joke.
09:00I'm getting it.
09:01I'm getting it.
09:02I'm getting it.
09:03I'm getting it.
09:04I'm so glad I got that on video.
09:05I'm getting it.
09:06I'm so glad I got that on video.
09:07Trash cans aren't really a top shelf item.
09:09Oh, no.
09:10There you go.
09:11There you go.
09:12There you go.
09:13There you go.
09:14There you go.
09:15I'm getting it.
09:16I'm getting it, too.
09:17I'm so glad I got that on video.
09:22I'm so glad I got that on video.
09:24Trash cans aren't really a top shelf item.
09:29top-shelf item.
09:39Most of us know someone
09:41who's gotten suckered on some crypto
09:43scam. It's terrible. In fact,
09:45I don't know what's worse, losing money
09:47in crypto or getting hit really
09:49hard in the you-know-what.
09:51Well, good news. Now
09:53you don't have to choose.
09:55Let's face it. We all have
09:57dreams of getting rich.
09:59But if you want to be some fat cat
10:01rolling around in money, you need to
10:03either be a CEO, win the lottery,
10:05or invest in crypto.
10:07If you'd invested in Bitcoin years
10:09ago, you'd be sitting pretty today.
10:11But don't worry.
10:13You haven't totally missed the boat.
10:15Introducing CroinCoin.
10:17CroinCoin is the cryptocurrency
10:19that'll make you richer than you ever
10:21thunk just by shooting videos of
10:23dudes getting hit in the junk.
10:25It's a digital currency.
10:27Yes, a virtual coin.
10:29That you earn when a man takes a shot
10:30to the groin.
10:32Most crypto is confusing.
10:34What is it?
10:35How exactly does it work?
10:36The answer is nobody knows.
10:39But CroinCoin is simple.
10:41Every time you capture someone
10:43getting hit in the business,
10:44you earn a token that can be used to
10:46purchase goods or services from any
10:48merchant that accepts it.
10:50So far, the only business that takes
10:52CroinCoin is a vegan Mexican restaurant
10:54in Central Arkansas.
10:56But as word spreads, we expect it
10:58to be accepted nationwide.
11:01This world just seems to keep getting
11:03dumber, so there's no reason to think
11:04that CroinCoin could make you
11:06the next billionaire.
11:08Grab your phone and aim it at a male
11:10friend who tends to make bad decisions
11:12and get ready to get rich.
11:14CroinCoin will make you wealthy on
11:16either Earth or Venus just by shooting
11:18videos of guys getting hit in the,
11:20you know, special place.
11:27Animals are a big part of AFV.
11:30In fact, they're practically my co-stars.
11:32But don't tell them that.
11:34They'd probably want to share my dressing room,
11:36and I can only imagine what that would smell like.
11:38Anyway, if you want to see animals go
11:40from supporting role to starring role,
11:42check out Disney's Zootopia 2 in theaters soon.
11:44Until then, here are some animals AFV style.
11:49This is our second attempt
11:51to recording this.
11:52The cheetah was sitting here quietly,
11:54behaving, then it started pacing
11:56and going back and forth,
11:59attentively looking.
12:01See that intense look by the cheetah?
12:04Why does the cheetah look like this?
12:05Because mom is wearing a giraffe print.
12:11She has the cheetah's full
12:13and undivided attention.
12:18Flamingos are pink
12:25and more curious than you'd think.
12:30I wish I could touch you right now.
12:35Oh, you're crushing.
12:38Smokey says, oh, to the now.
12:41He's going out there.
12:43Smokey's one of those horses
12:44that wishes his owner would hurry up
12:46and retire to Florida.
12:49Nope, nope, nope.
12:54Try it again.
12:54Here we go.
12:56Here we go.
12:56Here we go.
12:57Oh, nope, can't do it.
12:59No, I'm putting it back up.
13:00They put a lock on that garbage bin.
13:03Oh, yep, there she goes.
13:04Oh, she got it up.
13:05Oh, my gosh, she got the very thing open.
13:08That's what happened.
13:08Open.
13:09I closed it.
13:10You're going to climb it?
13:11That kind of amateur stuff
13:12may keep out raccoons,
13:13but it won't work on this guy.
13:15Oh, my goodness.
13:16Woo!
13:17Oh, my goodness.
13:19Wow.
13:20Oh, my goodness.
13:20Please.
13:26Ah!
13:28This isn't nearly as relaxing
13:29as the brochure said it would be.
13:31Oh, they want some food.
13:33Oh, yeah.
13:34Chairs.
13:34Oh, boy.
13:35Well, at least she discovered
13:39a sheep form of transportation.
13:43Hold on for a while.
13:47Don't try it.
13:48Technically, the alligator found
13:49this fishing spot before you did,
13:51so he feels he's entitled
13:52to whatever you catch.
13:55And since you didn't ask
13:56for permission to fish here,
13:57he's going to take your fishing rod, too,
13:59for good measure.
14:00I'm going to drag your rod.
14:01Oh, my goodness.
14:03Oh, my goodness.
14:04Oh, my goodness.
14:05Oh, my goodness.
14:05Oh, my goodness.
14:17AFV premiered in 1989,
14:20which means the signals
14:21from that first broadcast
14:22are now hurtling through space
14:2436 light years away.
14:26That means an alien race
14:27might have seen them
14:28and thought, yeah, let's not go to Earth.
14:31There's no intelligent life worth investigating,
14:34which would mean that AFV may have accidentally
14:37prevented an alien invasion.
14:41You're welcome.
14:46She's twerking, which makes the bench stop working.
14:58Why doesn't he do that in the game, Mom?
15:09Why doesn't he do that in the game?
15:21Garfield hates Mondays.
15:22This cat hates everything.
15:28Wow, stuntman training starts early in this house.
15:50Some fans are sports nuts.
15:51Others just hope there will be nuts at the game.
15:54Who's at the fence watching with me?
15:58Do you want some food?
16:01How does a baby who can't talk tell you she's hungry?
16:04I think she likes it.
16:11The tie and dress pants do not scream, game ready.
16:16She'll never forget her first trip to the petting zoo.
16:29People love a good mystery.
16:45Why, you ask?
16:46Because mysteries are fun, duh.
16:49What, did you think I was gonna say,
16:50nobody knows it's a mystery?
16:52I mean, come on, I'm better than that.
16:54Usually.
16:56Put your sleuthing cap on and get ready for some fun-solved mysteries.
17:01A cocktail conundrum.
17:04Why did Haley stop wanting to cheers when she has a few beers?
17:08A vexing vehicle question.
17:18What car drives all the chicks crazy?
17:21I don't know.
17:23Weston, just put your foot down.
17:26Down.
17:27Put your foot down.
17:28A rotating riddle.
17:31Why is a Thompson's new pool running three months behind schedule?
17:35I'm flying!
17:38Woo!
17:39Stare back, William, stand back.
17:45An unordinary query.
17:48Why is the next generation of trapeze artists so hard to find?
17:52Ready?
17:53Let's go, let's go, let's go!
17:54Let's go!
17:55Let's go!
17:56Let's go!
17:57A perplexing puzzle.
18:01Why were Ted's kids the first kids in the neighborhood to live in a
18:05and learn what friction was?
18:07There's nothing in my pockets.
18:09Your shirt was.
18:12Ooh!
18:13These mysteries aren't just solved, they're fun solved.
18:26We're heading into the winner's circle.
18:28It's kind of like the VIP lounge of the AFV airport.
18:31There are no free snacks, but the videos contain people who won so much money, they can afford
18:36to buy their own snacks.
18:38It's time to have a blast with some big winners from AFV's past.
18:44Get walking.
18:45Keep walking.
18:46Keep walking.
18:47Keep walking.
18:48Keep walking.
18:49Right, Jack!
18:51This paraglider's gonna need a paramedic.
18:54Come on, come on.
18:55Come on, .
18:56I ran.
18:57Let's do it again.
18:58Look at me, you're done.
18:59Yeah!
19:00Now that was awesome!
19:01Have a strong jump.
19:02Come on.
19:03You're done.
19:04Come on.
19:05I ran.
19:06Let's do it again.
19:07Can you do it again?
19:08Come on.
19:09Come on.
19:10Now, that was awesome.
19:20When making a live stream,
19:21mirror placement matters more than you'd think.
19:31This is not the full-body routine
19:33her followers were hoping for.
19:40I think this yoga move is called
19:49backside-facing husband.
20:07All right.
20:08Any of you...
20:10And he can't wait to play his new game.
20:12I don't know if...
20:15As soon as he's done being grounded.
20:19Oh, shoot.
20:30This young influencer's gonna need a whole bunch of subscribers
20:33to pay for a new TV.
20:34Oh, no. Oh, no.
20:36Let's circle back next week for another Winner's Circle.
20:40That's cool.
20:44Yes, it'll be exact.
20:45Yeah.
20:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:48Yeah!
20:49Yeah, yeah.
20:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:51That's cool.
20:51That's cool.
20:54that the best way to learn a new language
20:56is to start with the phrases
20:57you're going to actually use the most.
21:00That's why whenever I learn a new language,
21:02I always start with the phrase,
21:03here, watch this.
21:06Now, quiero, watch this.
21:09That's Italian.
21:13You learn a lot in college outside of the classroom,
21:17like what not to tie a hammock to.
21:24All right, so we're getting ready to go to school,
21:31and it is currently negative two degrees outside.
21:35Sub-freezing temperatures.
21:39Or as I call it, nature's hairspray.
21:43Here's one way to get your dad
21:45to stop ringing the doorbell.
21:50Dad, I can't stop!
21:52Oh, my God!
21:54This kid's got the dance moves
22:00of a kid who's only playing baseball
22:01because his dad made him.
22:15This dog has a fear of heights.
22:18In fact, they make her a little queasy.
22:21He builds up his monitor injection
22:38to be way worse than it is.
22:40Is that it?
22:42She's helping Mom in the kitchen.
22:58Letting her hold the phone
22:59is a recipe for disaster.
23:01I'd use a fishing pole.
23:13But that's just me.
23:14Did you ever notice the word dad takes on a whole new meaning
23:31when it follows the words nice one?
23:33Dad implies authority.
23:36Nice one, dad, implies buffoonery.
23:38Dad radiates love.
23:40Nice one, dad, radiates.
23:42I love that that happened to you,
23:44and I love that I got it on video.
23:45This court has seen its fair share of trash talk.
23:54Dad will help you go down the slide
24:10one way or another.
24:12Oh, my God!
24:16That dude with the shovel
24:21does something his son really digs.
24:31I was getting ready to save us.
24:33You got your camera ready?
24:35Their dad doesn't have
24:39nearly enough zip for that zip line.
24:41Quick, send in the cavalry.
24:54Or at least someone with a paddleboard.
25:02Don't say that, dad.
25:04Don't say that.
25:06It's like all these other kids made it all the way.
25:09I think I can.
25:11I think that goose is mad
25:22he wasn't invited to the cookout.
25:24I'm not getting down there near him.
25:26It's going by?
25:32He thinks those turkey burgers
25:34are someone he knows.
25:35Dad's not an actual dentist,
25:42but even a pretend dentist
25:44should know which tooth he's supposed to pull.
25:46You pulled my top one out.
25:51What?
25:52Not my bottom one.
25:55Why'd you pull that one out?
25:58You pulled your top one out?
26:00Yeah.
26:02Adam, it was the bottom one.
26:04My advice?
26:05Don't be messing with a bulging bottle of dressing.
26:07You want to solve the energy crisis?
26:24Figure out how to tap into the unlimited energy
26:26of a pet with the zoomies.
26:28Seriously, how cool would it be
26:30to be able to say your house was puppy-powered?
26:32Well, until someone figures that out,
26:35we'll have to settle for a montage of pets
26:36who were as crazy as it gets.
26:38Oh, my God.
26:48Oh, my God.
26:49He's running.
26:50He's running in circles.
26:51I don't know.
27:21I don't know.
27:51I don't know.
27:58Upload your funny video to AFV.com for your chance at $20,000.
28:03Hey, Alfonso!
28:15Hey, Alfonso!
28:18Can we see some more birthday videos?
28:22Okay, Isabelle and Isla.
28:24You want to see more birthday videos?
28:26Well, here is my gift to you.
28:27You might want to save the receipt in case they don't fit.
28:30Okay, Jason.
28:31Tell me what you want for your birthday party.
28:33Let me just pee for a minute.
28:34Oh.
28:35Are you done?
28:37Yep.
28:38Okay.
28:39Happy St. Patrick's Day 76th birthday.
28:49I love to bake with you.
28:51I am glad that you did not die yet.
28:54I love to be with you so much.
28:55Thank you, Claire.
28:56Thank you so much.
28:57Okay.
29:00A new phone.
29:01And I hope a new protection plan came with it.
29:16Forget the lap dance.
29:19Break out the lap cake.
29:20Bring in the sugar.
29:21No!
29:22No!
29:23No!
29:24No!
29:25No!
29:26No!
29:28No!
29:31Happy birthday to you.
29:32This 96-year-old thinks that age is just a number.
29:37And many more.
29:43And that number can be whenever you want it to be.
29:51John's 60.
29:52I had a birthday Thursday.
29:55I had a birthday Thursday, and the only person that didn't wish me a happy birthday is this
30:04one here snorting.
30:05Happy birthday.
30:06I'm sorry.
30:07I didn't get a birthday card from her.
30:09I'm sorry.
30:10I'm sorry.
30:11From her.
30:12I'm sorry.
30:13Turn around here, and we can see her red face.
30:14I'm sorry.
30:15Now, what do you think about this?
30:16I turned 58.
30:17I'm not too far behind him now, am I?
30:19I'm terrible.
30:20I'm terrible.
30:21I'm sorry.
30:22He's doing too much going on at work.
30:26What did you do?
30:27I was shocked at you.
30:29No.
30:30Where's the cake?
30:31It's a good thing birthdays only come once a year.
30:34Where's the cake?
30:35Oh, there it is.
30:38Oh, my God.
30:41Really?
30:43Why you did that?
30:46Clean it?
30:48I'm cleaning.
30:49Mommy has to clean it?
30:51Daddy, Mom.
30:53What?
30:54I want to sing happy birthday to Dad.
30:56Do you want to sing happy birthday to Dad?
30:59Yeah.
30:59His birthday is tomorrow, baby.
31:00No.
31:01It's tomorrow.
31:02I don't want to.
31:03No.
31:04Do you just want to sing me happy birthday so you can have some cake?
31:07Yeah.
31:08You don't care about my birthday?
31:10No.
31:12You just want the cake?
31:14Yeah.
31:15Do you know what the world needs now?
31:24An involuntary nose picker.
31:26Oh, my gosh.
31:31I hope you've enjoyed an involuntary nose picker.
31:41Ever go to a concert and toward the end you get sad because you don't want it to end?
31:45Well, that's where we find ourselves.
31:47The show's almost over, but I don't want you to get sad because then you won't enjoy what's
31:51left.
31:52Plus, we don't do that lame encore thing where we pretend the show's over and then I walk
31:57back out and do a little more.
31:58When I say goodnight, it really is goodnight.
32:01I got places to be.
32:04You know who's not a fan of above-ground pool horseplay?
32:08The neighbors down the hill.
32:25This woman doesn't think that Bug Zapper works.
32:27And as you might guess, she's just going to keep tempting fate.
32:34Oh.
32:35Whoa.
32:36Oh.
32:37It's done.
32:38It's not doing anything.
32:40Aw.
32:41It's not doing anything.
32:43Famous last words for a Bug Zapper tester.
32:45It's not doing anything.
32:46Darren.
32:47You're Barry.
32:48It's not doing anything.
32:50It's not doing anything.
32:52Oh.
32:53Oh.
32:54Oh.
32:55Oh.
32:56Oh.
32:57Oh.
32:58Oh.
32:59I mean it.
33:00You're eating the wax too?
33:01Yeah.
33:02How's it taste?
33:03Good.
33:04It tastes like a popsicle.
33:05No.
33:06She's crazy, right?
33:07Are they eating the wax, too?
33:09Yeah.
33:10How's it taste?
33:11Good.
33:13She's crazy, right?
33:18So I'm not sure I can come home today,
33:20because these have been outside my car all day.
33:24I try to get Tylenol.
33:26They start screaming.
33:29If geese have to fly south for the winter,
33:32they don't think it's fair that you get to just drive home from work.
33:37All the way.
33:45Going all the way back to the house.
33:53Sure, buying a lake house sounded like it would be relaxing.
34:07Ah, the old ice cube and the butt crack prank.
34:15But hold a celebration until you see that cube's final destination.
34:21Oh, no!
34:29Come on, Seth.
34:30There's no one second you gotta go!
34:32Tucker, you're late.
34:33Do something stupid.
34:34Fast!
34:35There's a unique creature I want to discuss.
34:45Latin name, Dorcas male parentis.
34:46But you know them as dorky dads.
34:51You may have seen them embarrassing their kids by trying the latest dance craze,
34:55or falling off a ladder and hanging by their underpants.
34:58But they're not just cringey.
34:59They're also tonight's assignment America.
35:00Earlier tonight, we showed a bunch of dads with no clue.
35:04Now it's up to Jess to tell him what to do.
35:06Is your dad dorky to no end?
35:07Does his goofiness embarrass you in front of your friends?
35:09Well, your foolish father might earn you a truckload of cash.
35:10How about $20,000 or even $100,000?
35:11Just upload the video to AFV.com.
35:12For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com.
35:13When it comes to dads, it's the dorkiest thing.
35:14They're not just cringey.
35:15They're not just cringey.
35:16They're not just cringey.
35:17They're not just cringey.
35:18They're also tonight's assignment America.
35:19Earlier tonight, we showed a bunch of dads with no clue.
35:20Now it's up to Jess to tell him what to do.
35:22Is your dad dorky to no end?
35:24Does his goofiness embarrass you in front of your friends?
35:27Well, your foolish father might earn you a truckload of cash.
35:30How about $20,000 or even $100,000?
35:33Just upload the video to AFV.com.
35:35For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com.
35:37When it comes to dads, it's the dorkier the better
35:39to win a whole lot of cheddar.
35:47We're sprinting to the finish like a dog office leash,
35:50but let's see who's gonna fetch the cashish.
35:53Let's meet our finalists.
35:55First up, putting your kid to bed is no easy scene,
35:58especially when back talk becomes part of the routine.
36:01It's Little Lady Giving Lip sent in by Carrie Teague
36:04from Alpharetta, Georgia.
36:06Jump out of bed immediately,
36:08or I'm gonna quit doing that,
36:09and then I'm gonna take away treats like the cookies
36:11we just made, and then we're gonna stop doing stuff
36:13like cheerleading or anything like that.
36:15If you don't start listening, so lay down.
36:17Do I tell her what I hope?
36:28Joining us tonight are Joe, Carrie, Remy, Raylan, and Rogan.
36:32Now, Joe, you were laying down the law with Remy at bedtime.
36:36What was the reason for that?
36:38Well, bedtime, like so many parents,
36:41it just doesn't quite go the way we want it to,
36:45and I'll try to throw out some empty consequences,
36:48but she was on to me.
36:50Yeah, we all know that.
36:52But what went through your head when you heard her response?
36:55Disbelief.
36:57I just couldn't believe what she said.
36:59I went and told my wife,
37:00you won't believe what I just heard,
37:02and we looked at the camera,
37:03and we were just dying laughing all night long.
37:07Well, that's awesome.
37:08Now, normally I'd say,
37:09it doesn't pay to be sassy,
37:11but if you win tonight,
37:12I'll admit that I was wrong.
37:16We hope.
37:17Yes, exactly.
37:18Good luck, y'all.
37:20All right.
37:21Next up, the dog's on the balcony,
37:23but what you know,
37:24she's gonna start barfing,
37:26so look out below.
37:27It's retching Rover sent in by Davide Vasile
37:30from Jacksonville, North Carolina.
37:34This dog has a fear of heights.
37:36In fact,
37:37they make her a little queasy.
37:43Eww!
37:44A few times!
37:48Joining us tonight are Davide, Elizabeth,
37:50Mateo, Alessio, and Bluey.
37:52Now, Mateo,
37:54you suddenly felt something very wet on your bare back.
37:57When did you realize you got barfed on?
38:00Uh, I thought my mom, uh,
38:03chewed water on my back.
38:05But it clearly was not water, right?
38:08All right.
38:09Well, listen, I hope this didn't ruin
38:11your favorite spot on the couch, y'all.
38:13No, she had a targeted strike,
38:15and it made it all on Mateo.
38:17And I love that.
38:19So good luck, y'all.
38:23And finally,
38:24some like big birthdays,
38:25some celebrate discreetly,
38:27but no one likes their spouse
38:28to forget it completely.
38:30It's Wife's Birthday Blunder
38:32sent in by Kathy Lowe
38:33from Linwood, Kansas.
38:35John's 60.
38:36I had a birthday Thursday.
38:42I'm sorry.
38:43I had a birthday Thursday,
38:44and the only person
38:45that didn't wish me a happy birthday
38:47is this one here snorting.
38:49Happy birthday.
38:50I'm sorry.
38:51I didn't get a birthday card from her.
38:53I'm sorry.
38:54I'm sorry.
38:55Joining us are Kathy and Lobo.
38:58Now, Kathy, you obviously felt bad
39:00about overlooking Lobo's 60th birthday,
39:02but was there at least some kind
39:05of celebration later,
39:06or did Lobo have to sing
39:07Happy Birthday to himself?
39:09No, I believe I tried to make up for it
39:13and have done it ever since.
39:15Okay, well,
39:16but what's the statute of limitations
39:17on forgetting your spouse's birthday?
39:19Are you still bringing it up, Lobo?
39:21Yeah, every once in a while,
39:23but she's doing a better job every year,
39:26so I don't have to worry about it next year.
39:29I like that.
39:30I like that,
39:31and if it was my birthday
39:32and my wife forgot it,
39:33I'd never let it go.
39:37Good luck, y'all.
39:38That's not right.
39:39That's not right.
39:40All right, we're gonna find out
39:41who takes home the cash in just a minute,
39:43but first, let's take a look
39:44at some of the clips
39:45that didn't make our top three
39:46in tonight's honorable mention.
40:01Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes.
40:02$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $50,000 for first.
40:06Here we go.
40:07Our third place $4,000 winner is...
40:10Wrenching Rover, sent in by Davide Vasile from Jackson,
40:14Virginia.
40:15$20,000 for first.
40:17$2,000 for second, and $4,000 for third.
40:19Here we go.
40:20Our third place $4,000 winner is...
40:24Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes.
40:28$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third.
40:32Here we go.
40:33Our third-placed $4,000 winner is...
40:37Wretching Rover, sent in by Davide Vasile
40:39from Jacksonville, North Carolina.
40:45And the winner of the $20,000
40:47in tonight's Funniest Home Video is...
40:50Little Lady Giving Lips, sent in by Carrie King
40:53from Alpharetta George.
40:55We have Remy, Joe, Carrie, Raelynn, and Rogan.
40:59Congratulations!
41:02Carrie, would you say this is the first time
41:05Remy's sass has caught you off guard,
41:08or is this like a reoccurring theme?
41:11Oh, this is reoccurring.
41:12First time that we're getting paid for it, though.
41:14But it's definitely reoccurring.
41:16I like that.
41:18Remy, what do you think of this whole experience
41:20of having your video on AFV?
41:23I like it.
41:27Well, we gave you $20,000 for being so funny,
41:31because that's how we like to play.
41:35Congratulations.
41:37You got $20,000 and a shot at $100,000.
41:41Congratulations.
41:42Yay!
41:42Thank you so much!
41:43Woo!
41:45Well, that's our show,
41:47so I'm going to say goodnight,
41:48because I still don't know how to pronounce
41:50art, rivo, ravioli,
41:54you know what, you know what,
41:56whatever it is, I can't say it.
41:57So we'll see you next time.
41:58But don't forget,
41:59if you upload a video and it airs on the show,
42:01we'll send you an AFV T-shirt.
42:03So goodnight, everybody.
42:03Remember, send your video to me,
42:05you might win 20 Gs.
Be the first to comment