- 16 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You didn't give PJ screen time?
00:02Yeah, not until he's at least 18 months.
00:05Well, guess what? He's now 18 months!
00:07Where are you going with this?
00:08Right here!
00:09You set PJ down, and then you turn on all the screens,
00:13and PJ becomes so entertained,
00:15leaving us to do whatever we want.
00:18What could possibly go wrong?
00:20That's way too many speakers.
00:23That's way too many screens.
00:25And he's way too close.
00:26You just press the button, and voila!
00:37It's a work in progress.
00:38Yes, I can love you, baby
00:42all night long
00:47I'm not gonna lie.
00:54I'm feeling a little bitchy today.
00:56Everybody's getting on my nerves for no damn reason.
00:59See what I mean?
01:00Someone's calling.
01:02The hell do you want?
01:04Quit your bitchin' and start me gwenchin!
01:07Ah, shut up, Rita!
01:09I'll remember that!
01:10Yeah, yeah, you remember everything.
01:12Guess what?
01:13Instead of a song, here's some audio
01:15for when the treaties were signed!
01:17Does Soto hereby surrender all rights to the land
01:22to Her Majesty the Queen and her successors?
01:25Play with him better, Stephen Harper!
01:28Use better sound effects!
01:30Sorry, Paul.
01:31I barely slept last night.
01:34PJ kept me up all night.
01:36Look, PJ!
01:38A real truck!
01:39And not some cheap knockoff like Stephen Harper's!
01:42I can't believe my fuckin' eyes
01:48I love trucks more than you
01:50I fuckin' love trucks!
01:52What are you three pervs lookin' at?
01:54PJ!
01:55Stop stein'in' so hard!
01:59Oh, he sure loves trucks!
02:01I wish PJ would look at me
02:03the same way he looks at those water trucks.
02:05If I drove one of those, I'd be so cool!
02:08I think they're hiring!
02:09Imagine me!
02:11The water keeper!
02:13Did you guys see what I was thinking about?
02:21Do you mean, did we see your imagination?
02:25I look so cool!
02:31Chickadee?
02:33Poof!
02:34I stinks like corn chips an old man in here!
02:37Whatever.
02:39Olé!
02:40Just fuckin' missing her or what?
02:42Oh, sorry.
02:46You okay?
02:47Yeah, I'm fine.
02:50You're fine?
02:53Is that why you're playing Legends of Mokkibi?
02:55Echoes of Sadness?
02:57She said I was immature.
02:59That I'm wasting my life
03:01and not doing anything with my talent.
03:03Can you believe that?
03:04Me?
03:05Wasting my life?
03:06Bonus points for ugly crying.
03:09You know what?
03:10Why don't you come to work with me?
03:12Get your mind off her.
03:13Nah, I'm good.
03:14Come on.
03:15Remember your mom used to take you to work with her?
03:17And you'd spin on that wobbly old office chair
03:19and prank call lips?
03:20That was a pretty deadly chair.
03:22Still there.
03:23Still wobbly.
03:24You in?
03:25Okay, fine.
03:26But I'm only going for the chair.
03:28Fuck!
03:29My character just cheered up and took a shower.
03:33And you know what else I heard?
03:36No.
03:37What?
03:38Norma's niece and Elden's cousin were in Thelma's truck
03:43and they were just going at it.
03:45What?
03:46Those two?
03:47And that's not the worst of it.
03:49Get this.
03:51So apparently...
03:53PJ's up for Ms. Knapp?
03:55Vega!
03:56There's more.
03:57It's just getting good.
03:58Mm-hmm.
04:02Oh, Kesa.
04:03Oh, she's so sleepy.
04:08I could have let him sleep longer,
04:10but I needed to see him.
04:13As I was saying,
04:15she's shacked up with Jessie,
04:17who's Elden's uncle.
04:19No, wait.
04:21Uh, now I'm all messed up.
04:24Still smells like a new baby.
04:27Paul still smells like that too.
04:29Paul remembered that.
04:31So precious.
04:32I could cry.
04:35Really applying for the job, eh?
04:37Paul, the working man.
04:39Aw, shut up, Steven Harper.
04:41Can't you see I'm busy working on my resume?
04:44You know, a guy who never wants to drink water
04:46must be water guy.
04:47That's the worst part about juice.
04:48We've got a lot of pictures here.
04:50What's this?
04:51Well, that's a stick man with big muscles,
04:53which shows that I have lots of strength.
04:55Where's your work experience?
04:56Didn't need it.
04:57I thought that it killed the vibe, man.
04:59No practical skill set?
05:00Well, you see this?
05:01Here's a picture,
05:02and it shows smoke coming out of my brain,
05:05which shows that I'm really smart.
05:06Could use some actual words.
05:08Well, if you're so smart, you do it then.
05:10How about instead of the smoking brain,
05:14we say that you utilize a set of complex analytical tasks
05:18to solve a lot of problems?
05:19Ah.
05:20So you're going to draw me as a stick figure in a truck
05:22jumping over a mountain.
05:23Nice.
05:25Let's put on a pot of Pepsi.
05:27We're going to be here a while.
05:32Yes!
05:33I win again.
05:35All right.
05:36Let's get to business.
05:37Hilda, can you read the agenda?
05:39Yeah.
05:40No problem.
05:41Just keep six.
05:43Okay.
05:44We would like to commission a painting
05:49so that when people walk into the band office,
05:52first thing they see is some beautiful art.
05:55Yes!
05:57The band office needs an album cover.
05:59Something that captures the spirit of our community.
06:01I think Chickadee should do it.
06:03Oh, one sec.
06:05It's like everything's spinning.
06:07You have to admit,
06:08her painting of lips was really something.
06:10Does it have to hang here?
06:12I think Chickadee would be perfect for this.
06:14Right, Chickadee?
06:15Uh, no.
06:17I'm not doing it.
06:18Got big, big stuff in the works.
06:20Let me work on her.
06:24Well, I'll give it to you.
06:29These drawings are impressive.
06:31Is that you showing strength?
06:33Yep.
06:34And initiative, too.
06:36And the smoking brain.
06:38Very good.
06:39You can sit.
06:40Since you're so smart,
06:45tell me what it is we do here at the water department.
06:48Well, uh, you drive around in your water trucks
06:52delivering water to people's tanks with your hoses
06:57and you fill them up and then you do it again
07:00over and over and over again,
07:03going house to house to house.
07:12Is that what you think?
07:13Yeah.
07:14Right, you pass the interview.
07:16You get through training, the job's yours.
07:18Oh, he's got such a cute little nose.
07:27Uh-huh.
07:28Don't mind me and my noses.
07:31Oh, he's such cute little cheeks
07:34and so much hair, a full head of hair.
07:37My daughter needed me to watch him at the last minute.
07:41Well, PJ has long hair, too.
07:44Agnes, keep it down.
07:47We're trying to admire Rita's noses.
07:51He's got way more hair than PJ.
07:54If it's a baby warrior you want,
07:56it's a baby warrior you'll get.
07:59I thought you had big stuff to do.
08:12I do.
08:13I made my own gaming gloves.
08:16Now I can game and eat chips at the same time
08:18without the grease causing the controller
08:20to fly out my hands.
08:22I'm like an inventor.
08:25You know, if you did that commissioned painting,
08:30you could make some cash
08:32and maybe stretch those talent muscles.
08:35Mm-hmm.
08:36You're not going to do it, are you?
08:37No.
08:38Nope.
08:39Okay, then.
08:41I guess Serena was right about you
08:43and all that wasted talent.
08:46But...
08:47Hey.
08:48Whatever.
08:49I'll just get lips to do it.
08:51He's really good at shading.
08:54Are you trying to reverse psychology me?
08:57Because it worked.
08:59Now I'm going to do it.
09:00Uh, okay.
09:01Great.
09:02Fuck, I hate lips.
09:07I need to make some adjustments.
09:10Yo, Trudy!
09:13It's the Trudes.
09:15Judge Trudy.
09:20Anyway, I went ahead and I printed out
09:22tomorrow's work schedule.
09:27Oh, that's great.
09:29Oh.
09:30Oh.
09:31Looks like you dropped it.
09:33That's okay.
09:34I printed out a second one.
09:40But without that,
09:42we won't know which house to deliver to first.
09:44Yo, Trudy!
09:46Trude!
09:47Judge Trudy!
09:48Hey, Bruce!
09:50Check it.
09:52This is a limited-edition garlic oil.
09:55This has twice the sodium amount
09:57as any other coil.
09:59I heard this stuff is illegal
10:00in several provinces.
10:05Yeah, that's good.
10:06I should say you'll get your water first.
10:13Yeah.
10:14But...
10:15what about the schedule?
10:17But what about the schedule?
10:18What about the schedule?
10:24Don't worry,
10:25your sweet little cheeks.
10:31All right.
10:32Let's go fill up some more tanks.
10:34Not so fast.
10:36I heard you don't drink water.
10:38No, lies.
10:39I can tell.
10:41Your dry skin.
10:42Your sunken eyes.
10:44And your dusty-ass lips.
10:46Plus, you didn't flush the break room toilet.
10:48Your piss was brown.
10:50No way.
10:51That was because of the I.S.T.
10:52I promise.
10:53You wanna ride with me?
10:55You're gonna have to get wet.
10:57Yeah.
10:58Come on.
10:59You're not supposed to
11:00get high on your own supply.
11:02You wanna be a good water truck driver?
11:05You have to drink and love water.
11:08Take a sip.
11:12No.
11:13You're supposed to drink eight a day.
11:16Take a sip.
11:20All right.
11:21I'll take a sip.
11:35Hey, man.
11:40What was in that?
11:42It's H2O, bro.
11:44I'm talking sky juice.
11:46I feel weird.
11:49It's the hydration kicking.
11:51I feel fuzzy.
11:56I need a...
11:58I need a Pepsi.
12:00Not cool.
12:03It should be really cool.
12:06Like something you'd see airbrushed
12:08on the side of an old shag van.
12:10What if the painting was romantic?
12:12Like, lots of nature and romance.
12:15I think it should be badass.
12:17Dudes and hot steel.
12:19Something off the cover of a romance novel.
12:22But, like, really romantic.
12:24A real piece of art that says,
12:25hey, don't fuck with me.
12:26Well, keep my jeet out of this.
12:28Shut up, cheeks.
12:29Make it cool, but also romantic.
12:31With a bad attitude.
12:33And no jeets.
12:34Shut up, cheeks.
12:35Got this chickadee?
12:36Uh, yeah.
12:41Oh, hi, Rita.
12:43PJ just had his checkup.
12:45Nurse says that he's as healthy as a horse.
12:49Healthier, actually.
12:50Mine, too.
12:52He's so healthy,
12:53he's gonna break Logan's stethoscopes.
12:56Guess what?
12:57PJ had a hair growth spurt last night.
13:00What?
13:02There's no such thing as a hair growth spurt.
13:04I knew it.
13:05Kita shanima PJ.
13:07I don't know what you're talking about.
13:10We're here because he's so healthy,
13:13they're studying him to help other babies.
13:16Hey, what's all this kerfuffle?
13:19It's pediatric Wednesdays.
13:20Come on, happy voices only.
13:22Agnes put a wig on her.
13:24Gnosis.
13:25Nurse, tell her that's dangerous.
13:27No, I never did.
13:29All right, let's just calm down.
13:31Hey, here.
13:33Got some cook'em candies.
13:35Old people mince.
13:37Nina, get this.
13:40Fine.
13:41All right, big fella, it's training day.
13:56Listen with your mouth and shut up with your ears.
13:58How do I shut up with my ears?
14:00Okay, here she comes.
14:05You got the stuff?
14:06Yeah, I got the stuff.
14:07It's fresh, just like you asked for.
14:10I'm gonna go fill up the cake.
14:11I said, listen with your mouth.
14:14You say it's fresh, eh?
14:20Looks like we just ran out of water.
14:22Tastes fine to me.
14:24Wait, what?
14:25We had a deal.
14:26Tell that to your crappy bannock.
14:28I'm sorry, Beanpole.
14:29Your bannock wasn't that bad.
14:31The fuck did you get peanut butter?
14:33Okay, here it is.
14:45This part rules.
14:47These other parts, meh.
14:49So you just like your part?
14:51Huh, I guess so.
14:53I see what Dee Dee's saying.
14:55This part here, I really like.
14:58As for the rest, what's going on?
15:01So you only like your part?
15:02Huh, look at that.
15:04I guess so.
15:05These two parts are ruining this part.
15:08This part is great.
15:10So you only like your part?
15:11Huh, look at that.
15:13I guess so.
15:14Well, I kind of like how my jeet
15:15was left off all three parts.
15:17Shut your lips, Cheeks.
15:19Politics aside, my part is the best.
15:22You would say that.
15:23My part is the best.
15:24My part is the best.
15:25Okay, enough.
15:26I tried to make you all happy.
15:28I really did.
15:29I took all your ideas, your scattered, mismatched ideas
15:33and put them together.
15:34But none of this works.
15:35It's a mess.
15:36What if it's just my part?
15:37No.
15:38I'm gonna do it my way.
15:39Got it?
15:40Got it.
15:41Got it.
15:42Got it.
15:43Wow.
15:44You just pulled a Joe.
15:45Fucking right.
15:49You want a little toy car, PJ?
15:52Big-go-gay-go.
15:54Get Diana.
15:56Oh, say to Agnes, my grandkid wants a car, too.
16:00Well, I hope that he enjoys it.
16:02PJ's getting a boat, too.
16:04Well, enjoy that boat.
16:06My grandkid's getting a plane.
16:08PJ's getting one, too.
16:10Oh, the very expensive one.
16:12Oh, yeah?
16:14Well, then you're not going to have any money left over
16:18for a kayak.
16:20Hey, Jean, I want that one.
16:23All right.
16:25I want one, too.
16:26Whoa!
16:27Two kayaks?
16:28You know what?
16:29I'll take two.
16:31Three kayaks?
16:32Well, I have so many grandkids.
16:35Not just this one.
16:36Actual babies.
16:38Not old ones like Chickadee.
16:40She's still a baby-enz to me.
16:43And you are, too?
16:44You're calling me a baby-enz?
16:46Baby.
16:47Whoa.
16:49Am I smelling four kayaks?
16:55Shit's about to go down.
16:57What do you mean?
16:58Is she being pulled over there pumping iron
17:00with two kids on her foot lawn for some reason?
17:03Yeah.
17:05Check out her shitpost.
17:07Trudy skipped my house again because my bannock wasn't good enough.
17:11Well, fuck that.
17:12I'm storing my water in rain barrels.
17:15Who needs them?
17:16I'm gonna go tip over her rain barrels.
17:19Wait here.
17:20Wait.
17:21What?
17:22I'm not ready to drive the truck.
17:24Are you a wolf or are you a sheep?
17:26Sheep.
17:28It's time to learn.
17:45This just in.
17:46The walk for awareness has stalled in front of Edith's house.
17:50They stopped to get a drink of water from the hose, but nothing's coming out.
17:55But without awareness, how will we know about the issues?
17:58And this just in.
17:59There's a new walk starting, bringing awareness to the plate faced by the walkers for awareness.
18:05And now they're thirsty.
18:07Where are those water keepers when you need them?
18:10He's right here.
18:12Get her!
18:13Get back here!
18:14Get back here!
18:16Get her!
18:18Get her!
18:19Get back here!
18:20Get back here!
18:25Thank you, water man.
18:26Now we can continue to bring awareness to the issues.
18:29I'm no water man.
18:30In fact, after today, I don't even know if I have a job.
18:33You fuckers!
18:35You think he's the water keeper?
18:37Well, he ain't.
18:38Holy.
18:40Okay.
18:41I'm putting water cases on all you bitches.
18:43We want Paul to be water keeper.
18:45Yeah!
18:46You think you can do this shit?
18:48You think you can do this to me?
18:50You'll be drinking ditch water from Duck Bay by the time I get finished with you.
18:54Saba ain't got shit on me!
18:56We want Paul!
18:57Paul!
18:58Paul!
18:59Paul!
19:00Paul!
19:01Paul!
19:02Paul!
19:03Paul!
19:04Paul!
19:05Paul!
19:06Paul!
19:07Paul!
19:08Paul!
19:09I don't need this job anyways.
19:10I guess I got the job!
19:11I've never worn diapers in my life!
19:13That's not what I heard.
19:14Whoa, enough of this.
19:18Nobody wants to hear two cook'ums fighting.
19:21Agnes?
19:22Do you take Rita's baby?
19:25Rita, do you take Agnes' baby?
19:30Now, look at those kids.
19:32Look at those kids.
19:33Look at those cute little faces.
19:36Aw, he's so precious.
19:39He's so cute and mullety.
19:42Good.
19:43Now I want you to raise each grandchild
19:45like it was your own for the rest of your life.
19:48Smartin' up.
19:50I ain't doing that.
19:51Yeah, smartin' up.
19:53But I have to say that seeing them together
19:56makes me see that when it comes to being a Kokom,
20:00there's no room for pettiness.
20:03I feel the same way, too.
20:06I'm sorry.
20:07I'm sorry, too.
20:08Yeah, man.
20:09Let's go to the park.
20:11OK, so I guess you'll be taking all four kayaks, or what?
20:17Wow.
20:19You really...
20:21Nailed it.
20:22Wow.
20:25Told you to trust me.
20:28What's wrong, Cheeks?
20:30Is that my head on a pig's body?
20:35Oink, oink, lips.
20:39You did a great job, kid.
20:41Can you at least put pants on the pig?
20:46He'll be here any minute.
20:47My baby boy is a working man.
20:51Here he comes.
20:55Did someone say they wanted water?
20:57Give us the horn.
20:59Are you sure?
21:00Yes.
21:01Yes.
21:02OK.
21:15Anyone looking for a flying baby?
21:16I don't need to own a mansion on an acreage.
21:20I don't need the green grass teller in my yard.
21:24I don't need the green grass teller in my yard.
21:28If there's one thing in this life I could ask for.
21:45If there's one thing in this life I could ask for.
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