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The Last Leg (2013) Season 33 Episode 6 - Katherine Ryan, Harriet Kemsley
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple rhymes be good for your health
00:11Keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live my life like you just don't care
00:16My thighs believe it's never scared
00:18Brave noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, still a beautiful idea
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, and shoot a new
00:27Sit on the couch, kick off your boots
00:41And dry your foot by the fire
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg
00:45Tonight on the show, Donald Trump blows hot and cold
00:49Labor gets an icy reception
00:52And we hail the new angel on our Christmas tree
00:55Plus we'll be joined by comedians Harriet Kemsley
00:58And Catherine Ryan
01:00On the show that sometimes gets snowed under by the news
01:04G'day
01:12Hi everyone
01:14I'm Adam Hills
01:15Welcome to The Last Leg
01:17The show that's a lot like day one of The Ashes
01:19Because there's plenty of exposed stumps
01:20With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:24And the man who thinks a wicked sequel is Home Alone 2, Lost in New York
01:28Alex Brooker
01:28Now we will get into the big news in a second
01:37But this week, in a meeting that we were having in the office
01:39Josh uttered a sentence that shocked us all
01:42No, he didn't say, it's okay, I can reach the top shelf
01:45And it certainly wasn't actually, I think I have made too many jokes about Alex's hands
01:51Or it wasn't, of course it's not my real voice
01:55Josh, what did you say?
01:57Well, I just said that I'd spent the week doing some tiling in the house
02:00And you thought
02:01Genuinely, if I'd have said that, it would have been less surprising
02:05I don't know why it's so surprising
02:08It's just a normal thing for me to do
02:09I'd just do a bit of DIY
02:11I'm a real man
02:12I sounded, sorry, I sounded like Pinocchio then
02:16I mean, look, you've been assembling me for the last 14 years before the show
02:21But still, it was
02:23So, yeah, so I'm having a room
02:25I'm, mate, I had to soundproof a room
02:27Right, why?
02:28For podcasts rather than
02:30Oh, thank God for that
02:31Yeah, I had to black out some windows
02:33Soundproof a room
02:34Yeah, because I've got, I've taken some, I've taken some on prisoner
02:36And, um, and so I had to do
02:39I had to get a topical reference
02:41And I had to do
02:43I had to do the ceiling, so I did it with tiles
02:46And I did a good job
02:47Yeah, we have a photo, here are the tiles in place
02:49Look at that!
02:49All jokes aside, Josh, those tiles look like they've been laid by a professional
02:54Thank you very much
02:55Do you know what?
02:56Don't patronise me
02:58That's the lowest moment of my career
03:00That third one, if you pull it down, you can get into the air vents like Bruce Willis on Die Hard
03:05I should say also, it was actually a flaw and that photo is the wrong way up
03:11Alex, you've been doing a bit of DIY work as well
03:16Yeah, have you noticed a big time of year for me with Christmas coming up
03:20So I've been doing the light, so, got a ladder out
03:23To hold for my father-in-law, really
03:26So there we go, there I am
03:27Who wouldn't feel safe looking down and seeing that geezer?
03:30Taking a selfie while holding a ladder with one hand
03:36It looks like that, I reckon you could use that too for either of the two main news stories next week
03:42One is pervert window cleaner found
03:45And the other is picture found a first suspect in Louvre heist
03:53I think it got me thinking, because obviously we're both doing our DIY now
04:02And I think there's something in it, I think there's a show in it
04:07I think, I think we could picture on a DIY show
04:08I don't, but if you say so, yeah
04:10I think, you know, I kept thinking like, market it
04:13Yeah
04:13Handyman and little handyman
04:15Who would have, there you go, a couple of tools get the job done
04:18I would just say, to the person that did that photoshop
04:23And it is a photoshop
04:24How are my arms the ones you failed to get wrong?
04:30Failed to get right, I meant I fucked up saying failed to get wrong
04:32We are live on your telly right now
04:35How did I get that wrong?
04:37I was having...
04:37Send us any questions you want to ask us about the news
04:40Instagram, the hashtag is, is it okay
04:43WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908
04:46Or you can scan the QR code on the screen
04:48For example, Bayview Boy said
04:50Is it okay for Scotland to reach World Cup finals after 28 years?
04:54Hooray!
04:55Yes, it bloody is
04:58Scotland is currently on day three of a hangover
05:01After their men's football team beat Denmark in injury time
05:04With Denmark pushing for a draw
05:07Scotland's Kenny McLean took a shot from beyond halfway to seal the result
05:11And the BBC radio commentators were anything but impartial
05:14As Gilman has it, he's surrounded
05:18He pokes the ball back
05:19Surely now Scotland will hold on to possession
05:22It's McLean, he's looking to go for goal
05:25From the halfway line, it's Chip Smith
05:27Oh!
05:32Glorious! Glorious!
05:34Kenny McLean with the halfway line
05:37Scotland 4, Denmark 2
05:40We are returning to the World Cup
05:42What a night!
05:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:47What?
05:52The thing I love most about those goals
05:54The goals they scored every day
05:55And you started to quite hear it on the clip there
05:59Is that when Scotland score
06:01They immediately start playing the Proclaimers 500 miles
06:04So the second they score
06:05You've got people doing their nothing
06:06And you just hear
06:07Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun
06:09And honestly, you never get moments like that
06:12In real life
06:14Imagine how good Proclaimers would be
06:16Over the big moments in your life
06:18Imagine the birth of your children
06:19Just as the head starts to pop at you
06:21Dun, dun, dun
06:22Oh, the mouse is
06:24Dun, dun, dun, dun
06:25And one of the best photos of the match
06:28Was this shot of Scott McTominay
06:30Who nailed an incredibly athletic bicycle kick
06:34That is
06:35Do you know what?
06:36I don't want to brag
06:37That is the position I was in
06:39That's how I put up the final tile on the ceiling
06:41There was an amazing thing with Scott McTominay
06:45After he scored the goal
06:46He ran to the crowd
06:47And he genuinely asked
06:48Where's my mum?
06:49And what I love most about it is
06:51Like, no matter what
06:52What age you get to
06:53What level of achievement you get to
06:55You're still always that seven-year-old boy
06:57Who goes
06:57Hey, mum, did you just see that?
06:59That was good
06:59What's amazing is
07:01He not only scored the goal
07:02He also impersonated the flag of the Isle of Man
07:04And look, last week
07:10We asked you to nominate an angel
07:11For the last leg Christmas tree
07:12We are going to reveal the winner
07:13At the end of the show
07:14But we also thought tonight
07:16We'd make up some honorary baubles
07:17Oh, yeah
07:18Alex, what?
07:18I just thought the Scotland result
07:20Was so incredible
07:21In the week
07:22I genuinely cheered and trained
07:23So I've got a little Scott McTominay
07:25Bauble
07:26That I've been trusted
07:27To put on the tree
07:29On a branch
07:30That's been conveniently signified to me
07:32With some orange tape
07:33Yeah
07:33There we go
07:36Beautiful
07:37Oh, that is nice
07:38Well, we're all going to do one
07:39I'm nominating Joe Marler
07:40Oh, yeah
07:41Lovely
07:42Right after celebrity training
07:44Because I think if we've learned anything
07:45From celebrity traitors
07:46It's to trust the instincts
07:47Of a rugby player
07:48Oh, God
07:49How do you ruin everything good?
07:53Remember Claudia said on the show
07:55Celebrities have people
07:55Lie to them all the time
07:57And she's right
07:57All celebrities ever hear
07:58Are things like
07:59Oh, your show's amazing
08:00Oh, I loved your latest album
08:01Oh, all jokes aside
08:02Josh, those tiles look like
08:03They've been laid by a professional
08:05There's no bullshit
08:14Do you know what?
08:15You're all wankers
08:16You're really talking like a builder
08:19There's no bullshit
08:22Also, that tree needs putting up
08:24In a different angle
08:25Sorry
08:25Look, there's no bullshit
08:27On a rugby pitch
08:28Look at the scrums
08:28When your face is that close
08:29To another man's arse
08:30You can tell if he's a faithful
08:31Or a traitor
08:32I'm going to put this up here
08:34Joe Marler
08:35If I ever meet you
08:36And I hope I do one day
08:38I want you to scoop me up
08:39Like a rugby ball
08:40And call me your hundy faithful
08:42And Josh
08:50People who are honest
08:52That's what you've gone for, Adam
08:53And there's only one person
08:55Who's publicly on TV
08:57Been more honest
08:58And themselves this year
08:59I don't know if you saw
09:01Romesh Ranganathan's parents
09:02Oh, here we go
09:04But Alex Brooker
09:05Was overshadowed
09:06By the real star of the show
09:08His mum, Elaine Brooker
09:09Let's have a look
09:11At one of the many
09:12Brilliant clips of it
09:14He comes across as a bit fixed
09:17Yeah
09:18Really, really clever
09:19Really clever
09:22I wondered why
09:24You wanted photos of my mum
09:25Well, all the ones
09:27She sends me
09:28Oh, well
09:29Oh, sorry
09:30So bored
09:31Now he's in the train
09:33Sorry
09:33One day on the building site
09:35And look what I've become
09:36So there she is, Elaine
09:37She's on the tree
09:38And um
09:39Stop gently caressing
09:40Don't
09:43Alright, on to the news of the week now
09:48And as the world celebrated
09:49International Men's Day
09:51Laura said
09:52Is it okay that Donald Trump
09:53Called a female journalist
09:54Piggy?
09:55No, it is not, Laura
09:56Here is the disturbing footage
09:58It's not alright, is it?
10:10No
10:10And the only person allowed to say
10:11Quiet piggy is Kermit the Frog
10:13And even then he's risking a karate chop
10:15Didn't David Cameron say something similar to that?
10:19I've got my memory
10:26A few days later
10:29Donald Trump hosted
10:30One of the only world leaders
10:31With a worse track record
10:32Of dealing with both women
10:33And journalists than him
10:34Saudi Arabia's
10:35Mohammed bin Salman
10:36Here they are
10:37In the Oval Office
10:38Yes, an authoritarian leader
10:41Who's carried out a campaign
10:42Of intimidation against the press
10:43Next to Mohammed bin Salman
10:44They look like they're just about
10:47To do a cool handshake
10:48Don't they?
10:49Look at the room as well
10:50Even bin Salman's thinking
10:51Come on
10:52This is a bit gaudy
10:53Because they kind of
10:55They were so happy together
10:57Yeah
10:58They kind of
10:59Most times
11:00They kind of looked like
11:00An episode of first dates
11:02That had gone really well
11:03And they were kind of like
11:04They were going to turn around
11:05And go
11:05Do you know what
11:05Yeah, I'd love to see him again
11:06And be misogynistic together
11:08I think it would be
11:08Fantastic
11:09But there was
11:10You know
11:11The thing with them two
11:12Is you know
11:12You know you're ghostbusters
11:13It's like the gatekeeper
11:14And the keymaster
11:15Like you don't want to get
11:16These two together
11:17But if you were a mutual friend of them
11:19You would have gone
11:20Like I'll tell you what
11:21I'll tell you what
11:22Donald
11:22I know who you'd love
11:23You would get on
11:24With my friend
11:24Mohammed bin Salman
11:25So much
11:25You two
11:26Look the meeting
11:28Was controversial
11:28Because US intelligence
11:29Have said that
11:30Bin Salman likely
11:31Ordered the murder
11:32And dismemberment
11:33Of Washington Post
11:34Journalist Jamal Khashoggi
11:35The Guardian
11:36Even ran with
11:36This brutal headline
11:37Trump and Mr. Bonesaw
11:39Stage love-in
11:41As Saudis
11:41One trillion dollars
11:42Wipes the bloody slate clean
11:43They called him
11:44Mr. Bonesaw
11:45Mr. Bonesaw
11:46Sounds like
11:47A YouTuber
11:48On I'm a Celebrity
11:49That I haven't heard of
11:50I mean
11:51It doesn't sound like
11:52A great mister member
11:53I must say
11:54What happened to Mr. Tickle
11:56That was fun
11:57Mr. Bonesaw to me
11:58Sounds like the follow-up
11:59To the song
11:59Mr. Brightside
12:00But still by the killers
12:02Really nice
12:05Thank you
12:05Between Bin Salman and Trump
12:07You've got
12:07Bonespurs and Bonesaw
12:09Which I'm going to pitch
12:10As a new cop drama
12:10By the way
12:11See
12:12Bonespurs and Bonesaw
12:14Could be another name
12:15For our building business
12:16Mary Bruce from ABC News
12:19Raised the controversy
12:20Of hosting a man
12:21The CIA accused
12:22Of killing
12:22And dismembering
12:23A US citizen
12:24Watch who Trump
12:25Jumps to defend
12:26In this shocking clip
12:27Your royal highness
12:29The US intelligence
12:30Concluded that you
12:32Orchestrated the brutal
12:33Murder of a journalist
12:349-11 families
12:35Are furious
12:35That you are here
12:36In the Oval Office
12:37Who are you with?
12:38Who are you with?
12:38Why do Americans trust you?
12:39Who are you with?
12:39And the same to you
12:40Mr. President
12:40Who are you with?
12:41I'm with ABC News sir
12:42You're with who?
12:43ABC News sir
12:44Fake news
12:44ABC fake news
12:45One of the worst
12:46One of the worst
12:47In the business
12:48But I'll answer your question
12:49As far as this gentleman
12:50Is concerned
12:51He's done a phenomenal job
12:53You're mentioning somebody
12:54That was extremely controversial
12:56A lot of people
12:57Didn't like that gentleman
12:58That you're talking about
12:59Whether you like him
13:00Or didn't like him
13:01Things happen
13:02But he knew nothing about it
13:04And we can leave it at that
13:05You don't have to embarrass
13:06Our guest by asking
13:07A question like that
13:08You don't have to embarrass
13:10Our guest like that
13:11Says the man who
13:12Berated Zelensky
13:13For not wearing a suit
13:14And by the way
13:15Neither was Ben Salman
13:16Also
13:17And the way he called him
13:18A gentleman
13:18This gentleman
13:19Please don't embarrass
13:20The gentleman
13:20Who our own intelligence
13:21Said cut up a journalist
13:22Into tiny pieces
13:23Trump is 30 seconds
13:24Away from going
13:25Ha
13:25Your bone saw
13:26One journalist
13:27To be fair
13:29If I was sat next
13:30To Mohammed Ben Salman
13:31And someone started
13:31Winding him up
13:32I would be like
13:33Could you just stop
13:34With those kind of questions
13:35Have you know
13:36What he can do to me
13:37When Mary Bruce
13:38Then tried to ask Trump
13:39About the release
13:39Of the Epstein files
13:40He embarked on a tirade
13:42That made Quiet Piggy
13:43Sound like this girl can
13:44Here's the staggering footage
13:45Mr. President
13:47Why wait for Congress
13:48To release the Epstein files
13:49Why not just do it now
13:51Well
13:51It's not the question
13:53That I mind
13:54It's your attitude
13:54I think you are
13:56A terrible reporter
13:57You're all psyched
13:59Somebody psychs you
14:00Over at ABC
14:00You're going to psych
14:02You're a terrible person
14:06And a terrible reporter
14:07By the way
14:10The BBC
14:11Had to apologise
14:13To that geezer last week
14:14That's insane
14:16Yeah
14:16Oh Carol
14:17No what better way
14:18To show off
14:19In front of the crown prince
14:20Of Saudi Arabia
14:20Than by berating
14:21A woman in public
14:22He's slowly turning
14:23Into the guy
14:24From come dine with me
14:25Who says you've got
14:25A sad little life change
14:27And it's interesting
14:31That the two times
14:32Trump has snapped
14:33At women this week
14:34Were both
14:34When he was being asked
14:35About the Epstein files
14:36Which means his response
14:37To being connected
14:38To a man who degraded women
14:39Was to degrade women
14:40This week the US
14:41House of Representatives
14:42Voted 427 to 1
14:44To release the Epstein files
14:46The one dissenter
14:47Was this guy
14:48A guy called
14:49Come on
14:52It's George Calloway
14:54He looks like he's gone
14:58You can't release the files
14:59Now I'm about to solve
15:00The case single-handedly
15:01You know like when
15:03Hollyoaks get a new
15:04Baddie who kills
15:05A load of people
15:06No that's Clay Higgins
15:08He said it would be
15:08Unfair to people
15:09Named in the files
15:10Who were innocent
15:11Apparently
15:11Look the Epstein files
15:12Are now due to be released
15:13In just under a month
15:14And if Trump's name's in it
15:15It's going to be awkward
15:16For the guy whose supporters
15:17Voted for him
15:18In the belief that
15:19He can stop the country
15:19Being run by a cabal
15:20Of people
15:21Connected to pedophiles
15:22Newly released emails
15:24Showed that Mark Epstein
15:26Asked his brother
15:27Jeffrey Epstein
15:27In 2016
15:28To then ask Steve Bannon
15:30Whether Vladimir
15:31I can't believe this
15:32I'm saying this
15:32He asked whether
15:34Vladimir Putin
15:35Has quote
15:36The photos of Trump
15:37Blowing Bubba
15:39Now this caused
15:40A lot of discussion
15:40Because Bubba
15:41Is famously the nickname
15:42For Bill Clinton
15:43Do you know
15:44There's a song about it
15:45It's called
15:46I'm Forever Blowing Bubba
15:47I mean sure
15:49I don't want to defend
15:50Trump
15:51I can't believe
15:52This was true
15:54Like that amount
15:54Of fake tan
15:56And Bill Clinton
15:57Surely like Hillary
15:58Would have noticed
15:58If Bill Clinton
15:59Had to come home
16:00And little Bill
16:01Would have looked
16:02Like a watsit
16:03Epstein's brother
16:07Mark spoke out
16:08This week
16:08To say that Bubba
16:09Didn't refer to Clinton
16:10Didn't say who it was
16:11But then a rumour
16:12Went round that Bubba
16:13This is unbelievable
16:14Was the name of
16:15Ghislaine Maxwell's horse
16:17He's downloaded a VPN
16:21To watch the Grand National
16:22Ain't he
16:22You know what
16:24I thought we were
16:25Progressive show
16:26But here we are
16:27Kink shaming
16:28Donald Trump
16:29Just because he's rumoured
16:30To have sucked off a horse
16:32Are we judging him
16:33For that
16:34Are we
16:34Just because he's in
16:35Yeah
16:36Even the audience
16:37Said yes
16:37But this is
16:39The mad thing
16:40Is that
16:40Obviously Trump said
16:41He'd sued a BBC
16:42For a bad edit
16:43Yeah
16:43This one
16:44May be a potential accusation
16:46That he's not
16:47Off a horse
16:47Nothing
16:48I love how
16:51When you ask the audience
16:52It became pantomime
16:53As well
16:53The horse is behind you
16:55Pantomime horse
16:57That's what it was
16:58What's even weirder
17:00Is that
17:00This all went around
17:01Last weekend
17:02Okay
17:02Ridiculous
17:04Of course
17:04None of it's true
17:05Right
17:05But while it all went out
17:07The White House
17:07Suddenly released
17:08A series of photos
17:09Of Trump and Melania
17:10In really loving poses
17:12There they are
17:14Look at that
17:15Like
17:15Then that made us
17:17Wonder more about the horse
17:18I mean
17:21Those photos were crying out
17:23For a Photoshop job
17:24And since no one else
17:25Stepped up during the week
17:26The last one laughing
17:40And the first one roasting
17:42Please welcome comedians
17:56Harriet Kemsley
17:56And Catherine Ryan
17:57Now we've asked you both to prepare baubles
18:17Catherine who have you got
18:19This year was underscored by
18:22Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday
18:25And a lot of people drinking and falling and fighting
18:28And being removed from planes
18:30And I loved that
18:31So my bubble is just that company
18:34Jet 2
18:35You've got it there
18:36You've got it there
18:36It's over there on your little table there
18:38There it is
18:38And Harriet who have you brought
18:40Um I brought Bubba
18:41I just feel like
18:45He's gone through so much
18:47He's had maybe
18:50The sloppiest blowjob
18:51That's ever existed
18:52I brought Bubba
18:56Okay we'll put him on the
18:57Oh you can toss him
18:58Is it going to crash?
19:00No
19:00No it's not going to smash is it?
19:02Oh my god
19:02Oh
19:03Oh
19:04Oh
19:05That
19:08Go on then
19:09You can't go on then
19:10Oh
19:11Oh
19:12Absolutely
19:14Inspirational
19:18All right so what do you guys think of the way that Trump spoke to the journalist this week?
19:27Um I don't know I just think people are saying that he accidentally but he meant to say Peggy
19:32I don't believe that because I don't think Trump knows a woman's name
19:35I just don't think that's possible
19:37that's possible like this is the man who married Ivanka and then had a daughter
19:40called Ivana yeah he's not big on details yeah I think he said quiet piggy
19:46and in his defense we couldn't see how fat she was
19:51I'm leaning I'm leaning fat phobic material I'm gonna be fat for about five more seconds
20:08look it was a mixed week for Donald Trump he spoke at a McDonald's conference earlier on in the week
20:14reveal and revealed his favorite item on the menu check out the insightful clip
20:18no matter who you are everyone loves something at McDonald's there's always something to have
20:26I like the fish I like it you could do a little bit more tartar sauce please seriously
20:36I hate when I say do you have any tartar sauce do you understand that yes I have he understands
20:42the man this is a geezer looks like a McNugget you know what when they said they they'd found a safer
20:51replacement for Greg Wallace I think they fucked up what was the fish noise can we hear the extraordinary
21:00fish noise again please the fish my worry now is what's he done with a fish
21:08bubbles the fish what's your what's your food of choice at McDonald's Harriet I love to order a quiet
21:21piggy is delicious if you add shredded lettuce just saying is it yeah really nice okay you've gone
21:32against everything we thought you were gonna football star Rinaldo also visited the White House this
21:38week which then prompted Donald Trump to post this bizarre AI generated clip
22:08you know if I'm weird about that normally AI looks makes people look less human
22:15do you know what do you know Trump Trump's mum's Scottish yeah you think what I'm thinking
22:22McTominay and Trump together at the World Cup look those clips didn't distract people from the way
22:30Trump spoke to journalists this week in fact more clips have surfaced of all the times Donald Trump has
22:35been disrespectful to women and it's quite the pattern Donald Trump clearly has a problem with
22:39women and but this isn't just a problem for women to sort out we all need to be calling out men for
22:44this type of shit so if Trump was someone you worked with you'd have a quiet word do you know
22:50what I mean you take him to the pub you'd sit with him at the football and quietly suggest maybe
22:53you're not appropriately behaving towards women so I'm going to take Donald Trump to the shed for a
22:58quiet chat with the assistance of our guests and everyone's favorite DIY team handyman and little handyman
23:05all right Donald Donald mate look me and the lads have noticed the way you've been talking to
23:17women lately and um we can't help but feel you're being a massive spanner yeah thank you honestly mate
23:25when you speak to a woman in a demeaning way you come across as kind of yes look I'm not the sharpest
23:33tool in the shed yep but what you think is banter makes it sound like you've got a screw loose yeah
23:39yeah exactly for example it's never appropriate to call a woman a piggy or darling and especially
23:46not a how yeah when you talk to women like that everyone around you is thinking stop call
23:55because you're actually normalizing misogyny every time you open your yeah look I guess what I'm
24:13trying to say is that when you talk to women the way you do you just end up looking like
24:16a giant bag of festering manure we'll have more last leg for you after the break as we take a deep
24:27breath and go into labor we'll see in a little bit
24:29welcome back to last leg with joe my harriet kinsley and katherine ryan uh laura messaged on whatsapp to say any chance you could ask my husband michael to go get me another drink
24:55yeah michael can you go get laura another drink please all right uh in a bizarre crossover we're
25:01gonna need an update on that in the next part yeah let us know how it goes laura we can't leave it there
25:07that kind of cliffhanger in a bizarre crossover of entertainment and education news this week a school
25:13in dorset has banned the singing of songs from the netflix series k-pop demon hunters because they're
25:19worried the songs don't fit with the school's christian ethos so right this is a clip of one of the
25:24the catchy demonic tunes
25:26we're going up up up it's our moment you know together we're going gonna be gonna be going in
25:34oh oh oh bump up up with our voices you know what they're just a woman gonna be gonna be going in
25:42oh that is so this doesn't it make you wish you had two feet to tap
25:46LAUGHTER
25:48So good!
25:50Are you, like, my kids, my kids haven't got into it.
25:53Catherine, are you across K-pop demon hunters?
25:55Are you OK with them?
25:56Well, I love all about Korea. I love it all.
25:59Really?
26:00And I think if you're going to take the good,
26:02you need to accept the bad.
26:03I love them for their kimchi, high-speed internet,
26:05education and transport.
26:07You know, if you can't handle me at my K-pop,
26:09you don't deserve me at my cosmetic surgery tourism.
26:12LAUGHTER
26:14Harry, do you think the songs deserve to be...
26:16Would you ban the songs?
26:17Yeah, I just think it's mad that, like,
26:19the Church of England is annoyed about...
26:21They're worried that, like, demon hunters are going to scar children
26:24when they teach the concept of everlasting hell.
26:27Yeah, right.
26:28I just don't know if that makes sense.
26:29And, like, demon hunters, like, destroy demons,
26:32unlike Christianity,
26:33that just moves the demons to another parish.
26:36LAUGHTER
26:38LAUGHTER
26:40APPLAUSE
26:42Moving on to international news now.
26:46Stu said,
26:47Is it OK that the Russians are spying on us in the North Sea?
26:49All week, a Russian spy ship has allegedly been operating
26:52on the edge of UK waters.
26:53On Wednesday, it was accused of shining lasers at RAF pilots.
26:57I mean, we're assuming it's a spy ship.
26:59It might be the Russian military having a stag do
27:01and playing Laser Quest.
27:02LAUGHTER
27:03If they've got laser pointers,
27:04I can tell you exactly what that means.
27:06Yeah.
27:07Someone from the Russian military has gone over to Calais
27:10with their mum and dad.
27:11LAUGHTER
27:12Also, they've got us good
27:14because they know that our fighter pilots are cats.
27:17LAUGHTER
27:19And their second plan is a huge ball of wool
27:22they're going to fire into the sea.
27:23It does sound like a very childish way of conducting warfare.
27:26What are you going to do next?
27:27Knock on the door of the plane and then run away?
27:29LAUGHTER
27:30Leave a steaming turd in the cockpit?
27:31Also, how do you combat lasers being shone at planes?
27:33I don't know what you're supposed to do,
27:35apart from start playing rave music.
27:37Look, meanwhile, it was announced
27:38that the UK has become Russia's number one enemy,
27:40knocking the US out of top spot.
27:42Well done, Britain.
27:43You're at the top of something.
27:44LAUGHTER
27:46How do we...
27:47Was that a sarcastic applause?
27:49LAUGHTER
27:50How do we feel about being Russia's number one enemy?
27:52Not bothered, no.
27:54Don't care?
27:55I don't care, yeah.
27:56This is what we've got to put teenage girls in charge.
27:58This is classic high school triangulation.
28:00You know what I mean?
28:01Like, first the US was number one,
28:03now the US and Russia are kind of friendly, so it's us.
28:05Yeah.
28:06We're not allowed to sit with them.
28:07Yes.
28:08How's this? The minister...
28:09They're mean girls in us.
28:10It is.
28:11The Russian Minister for Foreign Affairs, Sergey Lavrov, said,
28:13quote,
28:14I do not know how the British will wash themselves clean of it,
28:17although their ability to play the role of goose
28:19coming out of the shower is well known.
28:21Mmm.
28:22LAUGHTER
28:23LAUGHTER
28:24Does anyone know what goose coming out of the shower means?
28:29Yeah, it means there's a fucking goose in your house.
28:32LAUGHTER
28:33You've got to watch out,
28:36cos once they get in there, it's hard to get them out.
28:38Trust me. Trust me on that.
28:40Don't let Donald Trump alone with that goose,
28:42we know where that's going to go.
28:44LAUGHTER
28:45Goose coming out of the shower sounds like a DVD extra
28:47from the movie Top Gun.
28:48LAUGHTER
28:49I checked, by the way, it means...
28:51One Top Gun fan.
28:53Tom Cruise is in.
28:55LAUGHTER
28:56Goose coming out of the shower implies a perceived ability
28:59to constantly emerge clean from situations
29:01that would normally tarnish one's reputation.
29:03Ooh.
29:04Apparently.
29:05No-one's worried about Russia.
29:06Are we?
29:07Should we be worried about Russia?
29:08Nah.
29:09Genuinely, don't you?
29:10You saw that AI, that robot they had the other week,
29:12the one that kept falling over.
29:13Yeah.
29:14I think they're blaggers.
29:15I think they're the world's greatest blaggers.
29:17I think also the ones that...
29:18You know that thing that you're always taught?
29:19It's like...
29:20They're the ones that shout the loudest.
29:22It's like, in the pub, it's like,
29:23never be wary of the one that's, like, shouting the most.
29:25Yeah.
29:26It's always, like, the geezer behind
29:27that's, like, stood holding the bottle.
29:29Yeah.
29:30I say that like someone who's had loads of, like, pub fights.
29:32LAUGHTER
29:33And lost!
29:34Um...
29:35But, no, you know what I mean?
29:36That's China.
29:37You keep an eye on China.
29:38China's the geezer holding the bottle,
29:40listening to all our conversations.
29:41Mm.
29:42OK.
29:43On to domestic politics now.
29:44Political analysis from me, then.
29:46LAUGHTER
29:48If we're accepting goose in the shower,
29:50we can accept geezer holding the bottle.
29:52LAUGHTER
29:53Yeah, absolutely.
29:54Yeah, somewhere there's a Russian comedy show
29:55and they're going,
29:56what is a geezer in the bottle?
29:58LAUGHTER
29:59Not Christina Aguilera's greatest, son.
30:01LAUGHTER
30:03LAUGHTER
30:04APPLAUSE
30:07LAUGHTER
30:09LAUGHTER
30:11LAUGHTER
30:12Um, on to domestic politics now.
30:14It's been an up and down week for Labor.
30:15Exemplified by this painful clip of Keir Starmer
30:17tripping over at the G20 today.
30:18Aw.
30:19Aw.
30:20Hello.
30:21How are you all?
30:22Good to see you.
30:23Very good to see you.
30:24Very good to see you.
30:26Aw.
30:27Uh, what you didn't see was Wes Streeting
30:28just out of shot finishing off a banana.
30:29LAUGHTER
30:30And while the Prime Minister unveiled England's first ever
30:32men's health strategy this week,
30:33Abdul Muhammad said,
30:34is it OK that Shabana Mahmood's new immigration policy
30:35is celebrated by Tommy Robinson?
30:36Yeah, so this week the Home Secretary announced
30:37the biggest overhaul of the asylum system
30:39since the Second World War.
30:40One change will be that some migrants
30:41will now have to wait 20 years rather than five
30:42if they want to settle in the UK.
30:43Mahmood was criticised by some Labor supporters,
30:44but was praised by both Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson,
30:46both of whom she said could sod off.
30:48Who are Labor pleasing with these policies?
30:50I'm so furious with them.
30:51Every single thing they do is wrong.
30:52I'm just trying to find, like, a positive,
30:54positive, positive, positive, positive, positive, positive,
30:57and positive.
30:58Like all I can think is that duty-free is going to do well.
31:16You know what I mean?
31:17Like toberones are going to...
31:19Catherine?
31:20I'll tell you who they're not pleasing,
31:22and that's people traffickers.
31:24The job just got a lot harder.
31:27the people traffickers that's what i'm thinking about right health secretary wes streeting said
31:34he wasn't comfortable with the possibility of children being separated from their families but
31:38he would back the policy anyway meanwhile a poll this week showed that nearly half of labor voters
31:43want keir starmer to step down do you think katherine do you think keir starmer's gonna uh
31:47last until the next election i don't think he's lasted this term he's a flaccid flaccid leader
31:56it's fun to call a man flaccid they really hate it yeah yeah and it went by me but i still felt it
32:10to be honest i'm glad you're feeling flaccid at this moment hills the other option's much worse
32:16that's why you'll be on the desk in it right
32:21giddy up
32:26mp for norwich clive lewis said he'd give up his seat for andy burnham if he chose to run for
32:31prime minister on a bus or just generally just generally is andy burnham a pregnant woman
32:37look there is a lot going on in the labor party right now and we really want to get to the bottom
32:40of it so we're crossing now to the internet's favorite backbencher labor mp rosie holt who's
32:45joining us from westminster rosie thanks for joining us how do you feel about children being
32:49separated from their families
32:51right well i can see what you're doing there adam and i am against the separation of families from
33:00their children but what we're talking about here is the separation of families from their children
33:05sorry isn't that the same thing well crucially i think you're missing out on the context here
33:15and the context here is crucial
33:20and what's the context
33:22exactly exactly and that is why you should listen to us and not reform
33:26okay well some people are saying some of your policies are quite similar to those of reform
33:31how do you respond to that well i really take issue to that actually adam do we listen to reform
33:39no do we listen to the people who listen to reform absolutely do we agree with reform categorically
33:48not do we agree with the people who agree with reform yes yes we do actually because we believe
33:56in bringing people together um there's been talk of a challenge to keir starmer's leadership from west
34:01streeting is the prime minister's job in trouble well if you don't mind me saying adam i think
34:08people have been watching a few too many wicked trailers and and what you do have to remember is that
34:14elfa and glinda although they were fighting a lot they were in fact very good friends and if they
34:20can defy gravity so can the labor party all right final question then with labor flagging in the polls
34:29and the green party surging ahead would you ever consider a coalition in the future well i think you
34:35might have been listening a little too much to lily allen's latest album there adam um but much like
34:41lily allen's latest album it's all well and good to be open but that can bring a lot of problems it
34:48can be emotionally complex and there can be butt plugs
34:55sorry the metaphor got away from me there i've never used butt plugs rosie holt thank you so much for
35:03your time we'll have more last leg for you after the break as the sports channel drops the ball and we
35:12unveil another mystery guest we'll see you in a little bit
35:17welcome back to last leg we're joined by harriet kensley and katherine ryan um laura said it worked
35:34uh and sent us this photo of her with the drink hey yeah yeah i think i can take it for no i can't all right
35:46grand all right you need to put your glasses on worst honestly my worst tv moment ever
35:56also you could have just said you'd taken it no one would have known i know do you know what you're
36:00right for cricket fans the ashes started this morning in australia craig said is it okay to ask
36:05if you'll be doing an ashes england versus australia bet like you do for the paralympics well i mean when
36:10when i first woke up this morning and saw the english score i was like no chance but now actually
36:16yeah if you don't know england was shit and then australia was shitter
36:20um so i came up with an idea didn't i for a bat yes so how about if england win yeah you have to face
36:28and over of bowling from an ashes legend okay yeah and if australia win we have to okay full
36:36pace bowling and if it's a draw we all have to no that's a deal that would be horrible to drag you
36:43into this i wouldn't know you don't know what you said
36:49in more sports news this week sky sports had to or axe their tiktok channel halo which was created
36:55specifically for female sports fans the channel was accused of patronizing women starting with
36:59this insulting tweet in which they call themselves quote the lil sis of sky sports
37:06was that the right way to start no oh yeah yeah no i i what it felt like you know like a
37:16sequel to 21 jump street and just an old undercover policeman has started working at sky sports
37:21soon uh they also posted this condescending clip of man in uh man city's erling harland in action with
37:27the title how the matcha and hot girl walk combo hits oh god it was hard to tell if it was a bunch
37:33of blokes behind it who have no idea what women want or a bunch of boomers who have no idea what tiktokers
37:37want what do you guys make well the execs i believe were men and they said that there was a largely
37:44female team behind the original idea so essentially the male execs blamed it on women which i think is
37:51catty as fuck you bitches and also if there was a team of male execs and there was a whole bunch
37:59of women giving advice right then i'm assuming the men didn't listen to them and just did their own
38:05shit anyway yeah yeah a man wrote that for sure sorry yeah no no woman actually what do you think
38:12it's difficult to know what works on the internet i mean if i was trying to appeal to teen women i might
38:18do the same like oh matcha get your girl gang on pink glitter i don't know would you have watched
38:24that channel it had sports in it i would not have but i think women would have warmed to it more
38:35if it had you know less patronizing and had more female content like five of the 11 videos were male
38:42sports anyway right it was like they were going we women want to watch male sports but they just don't
38:46have it presented to them the right way right that's what they were kind of saying instead of
38:49going maybe women want to watch women's sports or all anyway or no sport so no sport meanwhile this
38:54week samaritans research found that one in ten men fakes interest in sport there was a lot of
38:59stats from that they also found out that two in three men fake interest in the news once a week as well
39:06another i remember there was another stat one in ten uh one in three men fakes interest in the other
39:18two men
39:22so one in ten men fake an interest in sport what's more worrying about that is that there are 11 men
39:27in a football team does that mean like in every sporting crowd it's like meg ryan in when harry met
39:31sally there's just one guy faking it just going yes yes yes and there's a guy next to him going
39:36yep i'll support who he's supporting my phone's buzzing someone's ringing me someone's ringing you
39:43laura um harry have you have you ever faked an interest in anything yeah well i've been doing
39:47online dating um so yeah big time i just have to fake an interest in like what men like like bouldering
39:55and like djing and like talking yeah yeah if you want to see some good tiling mate that's the
40:05weirdest thing i've ever said all right i've tiled a ceiling on that note let's bring on this
40:11week's mystery guest not on that note surely catherine and harriet have to try to work out how
40:16this person relates to the news of the week can we have this week's mystery guest please
40:25hello welcome hi josh alex who is the mystery guest okay this is james hello pleasure nice how are you
40:35hi hi hi nice to meet you nice to meet you do you like bouldering what this is james mcalpine and he
40:45wants to be future prime minister but what has he told the papers this week would be his first policy
40:52can we have the dramatic lighting change please
40:58is it a making the doors bigger in downing street b getting rid of the bottom shelf in supermarkets
41:06or c banning limbo dancing and it's next conservative pm isn't it yeah my man not next future you didn't
41:15want to say next because the next one is kemi badenoch isn't it absolutely i hope so oh come on
41:23well good luck too i can really see you shattering glass ceilings
41:29that's the first i know you by the way you're famous on social media i've seen you stood next to
41:33other boys i'm sure oh thank you yeah it seems like a lot of your policies are very like you based
41:41it was like limbo high no no only one of them's real oh sorry otherwise otherwise harriet there's no
41:48guessing game
41:52have a think about it over the break uh and we'll see who you think it is after the break we'll reveal the
41:56mystery guest josh will wrap up the last seven days and we'll unveil your choice for an angel on the top
42:00of the tree um we'll see you in a little bit welcome back to the last leg we're joined by harriet
42:18kensley and katherine ryan now before the break we challenged our guests to work out how this person
42:23is connected to the news can we have the options again please yes so jones been news because wants
42:28to be future prime minister but is it what would these first policy be would it be to make the
42:33doors bigger in downing street to get rid of the bottom shelf in supermarkets or to ban limbo
42:39down out sorry what do you think i just i don't know if you can make all doors bigger like that
42:45would be a lot just the downing street one oh okay i i think a tory swept harriet sorry i know i'm
42:53meant to be behind here but come on mate i think a tory i think a conservative prime minister loves
42:59limbo because they can go low i think they're not worried about the bottom shelf of a supermarket
43:06because they're not connected to you know the everyday man they don't go there they have assistance
43:10so i think your first policy would definitely be to make the door and downing street bigger so you
43:15can walk on through and ruin everyone's lives is is that the correct answer it is so you've been
43:32spoken about this week as the tallest tory how tall are you seven two cool amazing can i ask what is that
43:39in rishis too many to count but i can i stand next to you come in do you just what i mean
43:49if you look short next to me especially yourself
43:53oh
44:05james thank you so much and good luck with your future political career
44:16josh has been tiling the ceiling in the last seven days there's been a lot of ag in the build up to
44:20the ashes yeah so monty panisar legendary english spinner had a go at steve smith the australian
44:26captain who then had to go back by saying that you shouldn't listen to monty panisar because he
44:30did very badly on celebrity mastermind right would you like to see monty panisar's worst answers
44:37and how it can go horribly wrong in this amazing clip yes please what is the title of the first volume
44:43of c.s lewis's chronicles of narnia to be published chronologically it follows the magician's nephew
44:50c.j lewis the lion the witch and the wardrobe birds described as pelagic spend most of their lives
44:56flying over what sky the sea what is the title of a.a mill's staged adaptation of kenneth graham's
45:03children's novel the wind in the willows harry potter toad of toad hall wow um just briefly by the
45:11way i managed to work out how to take a photo of us during the ad break and i sent it to laura and then
45:16she sent back this photo of her and her husband he does not look happy that i've been sending his
45:20wifi that is a geezer who thought they were watching a film tonight we're about to end the show by
45:32placing your angel on our christmas tree but before we do would you please thank our guests harriet
46:37Merry Christmas to your fantastic viewers
46:39and thanks for voting for me, I'm dead chuffed.
46:45She's done writing
46:47Now she's stunning
46:49Like she's born to be
46:52She dreaming hard
46:54She came so far
46:56Now we believe
46:59She's going up, up, up
47:02It's her moment
47:03The top of the trees should be going
47:05Gonna be, gonna be golden
47:07Oh, up, up, up
47:09With our angel
47:11She came along from Bolton
47:13Gonna be, gonna be golden
47:15Oh, she's done trading
47:18Now she's reading
47:20Like she's born to be
47:23It's Christmas time
47:25Time to shine up
47:27On our Christmas tree
47:35Thanks for watching The Last Leg
47:39My name's Adam Hills
47:40See you next week for The Next Leg
47:41The Next Leg
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