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The Last Leg Season 33 Episode 1
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FunTranscript
00:00What a hell of a hard
00:04Thank you for letting them be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple lines be good for your health
00:11And keep them trying rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:16I but I believe it's never scared
00:18Ranging noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, sit up, move, I dare
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, it's your name
00:27Dust off your telly, find the remote and reattach your arm.
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for the last leg.
00:48Tonight on the show, we ask if Donald Trump has served up peace in the Middle East.
00:52Find a few faults with recent immigration coverage.
00:55And show a bit of love to some sumos.
00:59Plus, we'll be joined by comedians Stevie Martin and Frank Skinner
01:02on the show that's not afraid to take a swing at the news.
01:06APPLAUSE
01:09G'day! Hello!
01:26G'day!
01:27Oh, my goodness.
01:28Oh, my goodness.
01:29Oh, my goodness.
01:30Oh, my goodness.
01:31G'day.
01:32I'm Adam Hills.
01:33Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that's definitely not part of a Chinese plot to destabilise British
01:40culture.
01:41With me, as always, is the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who thought
01:43MI5 was a 90s boy band, Alex Brooker.
01:46Now, a lot has happened to us over the last six months.
01:55A lot's happened in the news.
01:57We'll get to that.
01:58The biggest thing for me, I just want to say this.
02:00I went to the Paris Standing Tennis World Championships in Barcelona in June.
02:04I came home with this as a doubles world champion.
02:07Oh!
02:14You know what?
02:17Yep.
02:18Very impressed.
02:19It's a lovely trophy.
02:20Yep.
02:21It's amazing what you can buy at Timpsons at an hour's notice.
02:24It's the only trophy in sport that looks like the head of a Power Ranger.
02:28What for?
02:29You don't want them Mexican wrestling masks.
02:31It does.
02:32Old Limpo Libre over there.
02:33It is very impressive.
02:36Very excited.
02:37I won with my partner Alex Hunt, who is my favourite disabled...
02:41Yep.
02:42Sounds a bit like a thing you say to me sometimes.
02:44LAUGHTER
02:46Sorry.
02:47He is my favourite disabled person called Alex.
02:51LAUGHTER
02:54And here is the winning moment.
02:57Oh.
02:58Yeah.
02:59Yes.
03:00Yes.
03:01Yes.
03:02Yes.
03:03Yes.
03:04Yes.
03:05Yes.
03:07Yes.
03:08Yes.
03:09What the hell?
03:10Yes.
03:11Yes.
03:12Yes.
03:13Oh
03:24I'm not like a tennis expert, but just what on the basis of that clip. Yeah, it feels like the other guy hits it a lot
03:34All part of me he hit it. He hits it a lot today. He does
03:38He takes you did they cut out the bit where he'll see carried the rackets to the core
03:47The other guy is really good though, isn't he? Oh, yeah
03:49Look, I've said it before. I'll say it again. Tennis is like life
03:52It helps if you've got the right partner and mine is 31 really fit in a former professional tennis player
03:59And to my credit I did do a lot on the court. I know you didn't see it there, but a lot of points I
04:04shouted the word yours
04:08Very loudly
04:10So that was that was my last six months Josh big news for you. You've moved home to Devon. You have moved home come home to Devon
04:20Genuinely, I've bought a house and
04:23The reason and this may be a mistake was this is 100% true
04:28We're walking around the house and within a minute the estate agent said you're not going to believe who used to live here
04:34Noel Edmonds
04:36Wow
04:38And what am I if not Noel Edmonds for the tick-tock generation?
04:42Please tell me you had to call up to make an offer
04:46Um, so yeah, it's not just to be clear. It's not crinkly bottom just to be clear
04:49We haven't got a gunge tank in our sitting room
04:52But that is the rumor about it and like and I didn't think it was true, but I'm still getting his post look here. We go
04:59Noel Edmonds there. Yeah, so I just open it. Fuck it. He's in New Zealand who gives a shit
05:04It's normally something pretty inoffensive, but what's this?
05:09Oh dear, this doesn't look good
05:12We have mr. Blobby
05:14That looks and to show we're serious. Oh, what is this? Oh god, they've got that
05:21Look, I'm hoping it's a finger
05:29Otherwise, mrs. Blobby's probably not going to want him back
05:37I'll take it on if it's going
05:43You had a big achievement of your own yeah, I did I had a massive achievement this summer. I painted a lot of roundabouts
05:54You'd be so proud how neat I was no
05:57So yes, so I now have my title of my own as officially
06:02The person with the smallest hands in my house because the other day my seven your hamster died. No
06:11My seven-year-old daughter
06:14Some reason she just went daddy put your hand up next to mine and I noticed at that moment
06:19I know that yes, she I have I now have the hands of a seven-year-old girl
06:23Look at that. She's got bigger bigger bigger hands than me, which do you know what isn't?
06:28Isn't all isn't all bad news really because I'll tell you what she's got some mittens. I've had my eye on for fucking ages
06:35So you're gonna see me at the arse or soon with a pair of k-pop demon hunter mittens
06:39She's getting too big for them
06:44So yeah, but um so yeah, I've got this yeah, it's really that's disgusting
06:49But yeah, it wasn't it wasn't kind of all all good news for me over the summer because
06:59I've realized that I'm starting to go gray
07:04My beards going gray now
07:06I always thought this is this is a trade-off this whole hands and foot thing
07:09I thought that they'd go do you know what obviously some bitch don't have but you'll always in my head
07:13I was like, but I just will never go things like going gray even though obviously I realized that with you that clearly has happened
07:19But I never like I never know I've knew it
07:22I've noticed it like with you like I always just imagined you being like old but now like I'm
07:28It's like in my beard and it's like obviously now I can't I can't dye the beard because I'm colorblind. I'm not rolling that dice
07:34I
07:37Know I don't panic but I mean I mean did you did you get gray hairs on the fake leg as well?
07:45Look i'm here to let you know it's fine, you know if you become a silver fox
07:49I think you're going to look great. We've made up a mock-up of what alex will look like in 20 years time
07:56I really
07:58Really am on my way to like my ideal job of being like a shopping center santa
08:02Yeah, you look like the head of an ad company who's about to lose his job to ai
08:10By the way, this is what josh will look like in 20 years time
08:25No, i'm kidding this is this is what josh will look like in 20 years time
08:27Jesus christ you don't like harold shipman
08:32This is like the pensioners shitting themselves
08:39My god all right, we are live on your television
08:43Would you like to see god a lot earlier than you thought
08:46We are live on your television. Would you like to see me in your will
08:50Which means you can uh send us any questions you want to ask us about the news message us on instagram the hashtag
08:55Is it okay um use whatsapp the number is oh seven nine five six one seven five nine oh eight or you can scan the qr
09:02Code on the screen for example
09:04Uh is it okay that after six months off air we're back refreshed with a whole bunch of new insights into the news
09:09Yes, is it okay that none of it will be as funny as this incredible moment from the traitors during the week
09:15Welcome to the worst team building away day experience in history
09:20Mm-hmm
09:25What just happened i just farted
09:35I'm so sorry it's nerves but i always own up i know i always own up too
09:40You can't even trust your bowels on that show
09:53One thing we know about the british public you love an old fart on television
09:57I'd love it if in years to come we look back on the bafta moments of the year and 2024 was chris mccausland dancing on strictly
10:03and then 2025 is celia imri farting
10:05And now look we have prepared a show for you tonight but in the last few hours
10:11It's been revealed that prince andrew has decided to give up all his royal titles which means the duke of york is up for grabs
10:20Ironically that's what got him into trouble in the first place
10:22Can i be the first to refer to him as the artist formerly known as prince harry
10:36It must be quite it must be quite stressful for him all of this going on today
10:40He's probably sat home just thinking just need to get away if only i had a mate who had an island
10:45But the most incredible thing i thought about it is he said he's giving it up after discussions
10:52After discussions with the king after discussions with the king that's like me saying i gave up
10:56My right foot after discussions with my surgeon it was going
11:01Well he didn't even say i'm giving them up he said i'm not using them anymore
11:05Yeah it was the letter he said so that would be like you having your foot amputated and then saying
11:09Oh i haven't given it up i'm just not using it
11:14Look on the other news now the question of the week is has donald trump solved world peace
11:19Because this week the tangerine tyrant became the pumpkin-faced peacemaker
11:23When he announced a ceasefire agreement had been reached between israel and hamas
11:27lee allen said is it okay i felt like i was living uh in a parallel universe
11:31When donald trump was the one that brought peace to the middle east i know it's weird right
11:35Donald trump did something good it's like being reminded that jimmy savile raised money for charity
11:47Does donald trump deserve credit this week
11:51i think there's level i think you've got a judge you've got to give him some credit there's obviously
11:54a scale isn't there so there's the top level of credit which would be like you know
11:59diego maradona winning the 1986 world cup single-handedly yeah that'd be like 10
12:05and then zero which is what you brought to the paris standing tennis
12:11i don't think he's somewhere in between that i kind of go fair play fair play to him but it just
12:17feels like so out of character someone like him just to be so peaceful you know like when you see
12:23like a video pop up on instagram like a gorilla and it's become friends of a little kitten yeah and
12:29you go everything about me says this should have ended badly he's just not like he's just not in
12:35his character to want peace this is a geezer who can't go a day on social media without saying he
12:41hates someone he tweets in capital well he released a 20-point peace plan for gaza uh and maybe there is
12:48something in it for donald trump because point 10 of the 20-point peace plan says it's difficult to
12:53say it is point 10 is this a trump economic development plan to rebuild and energize gaza
13:00will be created by a panel of experts so donald trump's best mate destroyed a city with weapons
13:05supplied by donald trump and now donald trump will be in charge of the redevelopment i just think because
13:10trump economic development that's essentially that's branding yeah and i i know a lot of the world is
13:15branded these days but i don't feel like like branding is something that should come into like
13:21peace peace agreements you know like if it was like the select car lease and good friday agreement
13:26or the geneva convention in association with domino
13:41so i guess i guess the big question is how much of this was donald trump trying to get the
13:45nobel peace prize and does it matter well in a way it doesn't matter because him just wanting
13:50to win a prize is probably the most innocent motive he's ever had in anything yeah and also maybe it
13:57means we could just encourage him to do other stuff with prize if he's that simple into please you just
14:02go have you heard about the prize for the man who stops global warming yeah yeah or have you heard
14:08about the prize for the man who does home alone three just stuff like that oh yes please oh but
14:15the thing is i think it's such a motivation genuinely for him he desperately wants the nobel peace prize
14:20and i do feel like it's like you know when your kids want like time on the ipad yeah you know melania's
14:25been going around the house it's going to tell you what donald if you tidy your room you get a couple
14:28of hours on the nobel peace prize israel's leader benjamin netanyahu tweeted this pandering photo of trump
14:35with an ai generated nobel peace prize he looks like he's got a token for a trolley
14:43he looks like a grandfather clock two seconds after that another assassination attempt failed
14:49because it hit him on that thing he looks a bit like flavor flav between them the two of them are
14:55public enemy um it's worth pointing out though though that while trump is angling for the nobel
15:00peace prize back home another one of his critics has just been indicted and may now face court that's
15:05the third trump critic to be indicted in the past few weeks which is why i'm going to say it right now
15:10i think donald trump deserves the nobel peace prize and i'm not just saying that because i want to be
15:15let into the united states in 2028 for the paralympics in los angeles i've always said it how many times
15:21what do you always talk about tennis donald trump peace prize yeah look here's evidence i've actually
15:27said it on the show can i just say that donald trump is so great surely he deserves a nobel peace prize
15:37so many times
15:37see you in 2028 america by the way if you're wondering how much input keir starmer had uh this
15:49week into what that whole deal this cringeworthy clip sums up how important he was to the process
15:54where's united kingdom where's your friend come here is everything going good very good it's very
16:04nice of you here these people all came in like 20 20 minute notice and i think it's fantastic
16:14you know he says like where's united kingdom where's our friend he's forgotten his name
16:19oh absolutely you know when you forgot so here he is he's here you are geese you're a buddy here
16:26his old specs this guy this guy here he is my man so weird that trump calls him up then won't let
16:33him near the microphone his armor is like the posh spice of world leaders the irony is tony blair
16:39seems to have done most of the work on the deal and considering his record in the middle east that
16:42would make him scary spice riah messaged us on instagram to say is it okay donald trump seems more
16:48concerned with how he looks on the cover of time magazine than with what's happening in gaza yeah
16:52so donald trump made the cover of time magazine this week he was less impressed uh less than
16:57impressed with this grandiose shot he didn't like that at all it looks like he's mistakenly taken
17:03a selfie on the way to work he's got 15 of those photos
17:12he went on truth social and he wrote time magazine wrote a relatively good story about me but the picture
17:17may be the worst of all time they disappeared my hair and then had something floating on top of my
17:23head that looked like a floating crown but an extremely small one really weird i mean time
17:29is definitely disappearing his hair but not the magazine it's kind of amazing that someone's skin
17:35can be so thin while wearing so many layers of makeup all right it does kind of look like an
17:40orangutan squatting over a mirror but do you do not like in fairness and i'm like i don't want this
17:48to be like well defending him but that photo like if that was someone took that of you you ain't sticking
17:54that on your instagram mate that ain't making the gram absolutely no what amazes me is that he mentioned
17:58like the hair and the crown and everything he doesn't mention his neck how bad his neck looks
18:03and for me that's the worst part i think he didn't want to admit he's got a neck gina
18:19his tie is literally grabbing him by the pussy
18:21so it's interesting i see i see bollocks i see nexticles
18:29yeah it's like a weird rorschach
18:34but to be fair you make a good point i mean i think we'd all be annoyed if we were on the cover
18:38of time magazine with our least favorite photos yeah yeah so and to prove a point we've mocked them up
18:42uh this is time magazine with my least favorite photo of it that's me uh really angry uh on the
18:49rugby pitch and the reason i'm really angry uh is because i was chasing alex
18:55that was the first time we said alex hunt
18:59josh if we imagine imagine you yeah i know what this is gonna be yeah and this is the cover we use
19:09it was a different time it was a different time a better time uh and alex i mean we've gone
19:14through to find a photo of you imagine it alex brooker the cover of time magazine yeah and this
19:20is what they use oh jesus christ i look like i look like king charles is going to take my titles away
19:29to be fair you are the same color as trump in that picture all right let's welcome tonight's
19:33guests uh she's a comedian who streams online he's a comedian who streams three times a night
19:37please welcome stevie martin and frank skinner
19:55hi stevie frank welcome to the show um what are your thoughts on the middle east oh i've solved it
20:02have you no and i can't and i won't be doing it now live frank i i like the speech that he did
20:12to the uh whatever they're called the kinetic um in israel when i like it when he goes off auto
20:19queue and starts doing new material really he could say anything and when he tried to get netanyahu
20:26a pardon and stuff was brilliant but i agree with you it's when bad guys start doing good things you
20:32don't know how to respond yeah like when the tourists start like woman leader woman leader brown man black
20:39woman you think well you just you're the bad guys what are you doing meet sir kia starmer so um i he has
20:48got peace it seems yeah who knew um and i really felt sorry for him on time magazine because i i got um
20:58vid well shot filmed recently and it was quite windy and when i watched it back i could see my throat was
21:06moving like a chicken's waffle yeah just moving now no you don't want to throw some more political
21:13news at the year this week um former canadian prime minister justin trudeau has been caught in steamy
21:20photos with pop star katy perry yeah ah that's i mean that's what you known as a used to be in power
21:27couple how do i mean sorry no go on i'm just saying the the other famous one is her with orlando bloom
21:35and he's got his knob out isn't it at least it's not that on the purple board yeah yeah i always think
21:40he's behind the standing up i always think she didn't know and he's his penis is sort of here
21:53where's the blobby finger we'll re-create it oh sorry yeah sure
21:55there you go there we go there we go right um it was he wasn't in full bloom
22:12is it true you met justin trudeau yeah i was at the montreal comedy festival you know when you do
22:18comedy abroad you try and find someone who lives there yeah who you can sit with and go through your
22:24material and to see if all the references are there and i said to these guys i need to talk to a
22:29canadian and they said well there's the canadian you should talk to i didn't know who he was
22:34and i said can i can i ask you some questions about references for canada and he went um yeah
22:41so i sat down and this is my act you know what my act is like it's borderline disgusting
22:47and i was saying do they say tea bagging
22:53and he said uh that sounds very english which he does when you stand back from me but i had i had no
23:01idea uh that he was the son of the president when he became president i didn't recognize him because
23:07when i met him in montreal he was in blackface
23:14but yeah so i was asking justin trudeau to explain uh canadian references did he have his
23:21knob out not not not immediately sure as we got closer meanwhile uh a book this week alleges
23:29margaret thatcher had at least two affairs while she was in office that's right turns out the lady was for turning
23:35how do we feel about margaret thatcher having an affair whilst in office does anyone care
23:42good honor yeah i interviewed carol thatcher once her daughter and she said when i was growing
23:49up the motto in our house was just get on with it and i thought that's what you want to hear in the
23:55bedroom my kind of woman i can imagine i mean i've always really fancied the tiger in kung fu panda
24:05and she's got that intimidating slightly scary thing
24:17um stevie i thought i did think lots of people would go yeah
24:23no nothing i'm in the panda clearly um stevie
24:28stevie what did you make like of trump's time cover like is there an awkward photo of you you
24:36wouldn't want to see in public oh well i don't know alec i'm not successful enough to have that many
24:40photos but when you google me um the photo isn't me it's uh a lovely woman oh yeah we've got a copy of
24:50have you got oh yeah that's me yeah her name's stevie simonette martin she's from atlanta and uh
24:58yeah she's a makeup artist um i think what i'm going to do is i'm going to go to america
25:04um at some point and get a selfie with her and put it as my wikipedia page and then the internet will
25:10just explode and so then so ideally your worst time cover would be this i guess so
25:18which feel i mean she looks she looks amazing i could never wear that i'm good for her um and frank
25:23look just you know so you're not left out we've done a bit of research to find out what might be
25:26the worst photo to put of you so many times my wife recently described our 13 year old son
25:33as a good-looking version of me well this is your time cover
25:45uh all right well listen we'll have more last link for you after the break we're
25:47going to cover immigration issues with this guy
25:49we'll see you in a little bit
26:12welcome back to the last leg we're joined by cb martin and frank skinner time for a headline now i
26:17never thought i'd be saying on television paddington bear is suing spitting image
26:22actually the makers of paddington are suing the makers of spitting image
26:25for creating a coke snorting foul-mouthed version of paddington that looks like this
26:32sorry my mistake that's an incredibly stylish shot of liam gallagher this is the version of paddington
26:43frank you wrote an article about this during the week you had a problem with it right
26:46yeah i think that um paddington is a very positive image of a migrant
26:53he's genuinely caring and he arrives with just the only paperwork he comes into the country says
27:00please look after this bear you know it's so beautiful the trust in the british public and
27:06the compassion and i think this sort of plays into a sort of more reform oh they're all on drugs and
27:14they're selling uh they're selling guns and stuff like that also i used to if i sort of thought i was
27:22getting slightly involved with a woman i used to have a question that i used as a sort of test and i
27:28would very casually say would you be okay knocking a nail into a teddy bear's face
27:34and if they said yeah i knew that um that love would never
27:45and you could have sex after that i couldn't have sex after that it was too much like knocking a nail into it
27:54but i genuinely asked it because i i think that i do think did you have the nail and the teddy bear's
28:00be like i just honestly think that if nigel farage had walked along that platform he would have
28:07reported paddington to the authorities agreed yeah and you get the brown family you get the farage
28:13dad and he's won over by the compassionate and caring women and children around him yeah so um i think
28:20you should leave paddington alone stevie yeah i agree but i do think like you you know it is also mad
28:35to sue someone for a joke so i wanted to challenge and and say maybe disney could sue me for doing this
28:44i'm winnie the pooh and i'm a bee-hating piece of shit
28:58thank you thank you balls in your court disney i'm genuinely i'm genuinely concerned about this
29:07because i was about to launch a new animated series called bonnie bluey
29:14oh god oh god what is that theme song that dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad guy in a mask
29:28we really need to move on um that does lead into something that we were going to talk about frank
29:33because a lot of things have happened since we were on air uh one noticeable change has been the rise in
29:38emotional language around immigration and look i know it's friday night i know it's late but i want to
29:43show you a few graphs that's right things are about to get graphic okay these are from the migration
29:48oh he's got a pointer i have got a pointer as well can i borrow it up these are from the migration
29:54observatory at the university of oxford and this is the first one now before i explain it i need to point
29:59out that the uk has what's known as a service economy which relies on a certain amount of immigration to
30:05cover the jobs that need doing so this is the graph of immigration to the uk from 1991 to 2024.
30:12now as you can see immigration dropped really sharply in 2020 if you remember what happened
30:18that year it corresponded to a sharp rise in people watching tiger king and making banana bread
30:25the government then chose to increase the amount of people coming into the country mainly international
30:29students those levels peaked in 2023 then fell by the greatest amount ever but what about asylum
30:38seekers you might ask well have a look at this graph this is non-eu immigration to the uk from 2019
30:44to 2024 as you can see people here mainly came for work and for study meanwhile migration from eu
30:51countries since brexit is pretty much negative now asylum grants down here have gone up a little bit but
30:57really not that much humanitarian arrivals yes they went up in 2022 but that corresponded to a very
31:02sharp decline in airbnb bookings in kiev around the same time so how does this compare to every other
31:12country in the world well this is the percentage of the population born in another country and the uk
31:19pretty much right bang in the middle it's there with the united states france and spain so why does it
31:24feel like immigration is such a problem here well look at this graph of countries where nigel farage
31:29lives and it all makes sense or at least it starts to so now you can see why people are concerned by
31:38immigration especially when our politicians won't stop banging on about it but when reform leader nigel
31:43farage says immigration is out of control that is when conservative leader kemi badenot blames
31:50labor for immigration levels that's because the peak actually happened under the tories and when
31:56the prime minister said we're in danger of becoming an island of strangers even he had to apologize and
32:01call out his own bullshit the truth is britain is built on immigration they deliver your food
32:07they pour your beers they prop up your nhs and they host your tv shows
32:24so the next time you hear a politician say immigration is the problem just remember
32:28that is a turd the size of disneyland paris
32:39now while we're talking immigration there was an issue at the australian border this week
32:43when big john fisher was turned away for not having the right visa
32:46who is big john fisher you might be asking alex well adam uh big john fisher he's a hero
32:53yep he's a he's a hero he's a social media personality he loves his chinese food and he says the word
33:00bosh uh a lot if anything he for me is very much the british kim kardashian um here's big john in action
33:11saturday night as sean b would say i'm having a bastard chinese
33:15bosh it's lovely chinese for the blue orchid
33:21roast buck chinese style got all the flavors in there salt and chili chicken can
33:26fuck off
33:37it's not often i feel like i've missed out on a lot in life with having small hands but doing a proper
33:42bosh genuinely yeah it is one of them but so john went to australia he was turned away by your
33:47border for so normally i love that program but he was turned away and he had to fly all the way
33:52back and you know john's a great guy he's done a lot of stuff for the community you know he helped a
33:57chinese restaurant in york that was vandalized during all the summer protests he's a top bloke
34:02and i wanted john to know that even though there might not be a place for him in australia
34:07and i you know i've had my my time with problematic australians there's a place there's a place for him
34:13here at the last legs it's tell us more please welcome big john fisher
34:21it's going to take my weight isn't it yeah you'll be all right yeah that's all right we made it
34:41so john thank you for for coming on the show mate um so tell us what what happened in in australia
34:4717-hour flight direct from london to perth got off the plane then taken to immigration five hours in
34:55immigration i landed legally but they weren't happy with one or two things i said i won't do anything
35:01i'll just be here on holiday uh wasn't to no avail night in a detention center and then
35:07flight straight back next day so what have you you went over there to to do some gigs to do some meet
35:13and greets but didn't have a work visa i've never needed a work visa because you can work on a
35:17tourist fees of like what i was doing but they said because people were earning money off of me
35:22yeah then it wasn't right and i said right i totally get that i respect what you're saying
35:26i said at this point have i done anything illegal they said no you're all fine they said right i'll
35:31cancel everything and i'll just have a week's holiday i could have done with a week's holiday
35:34because i've been non-stop but to no avail they sent me back and it was on my birthday
35:39it was on your birthday yeah the flight attendants so john they were they were good with you weren't
35:43they quantus crew were amazing got me a birthday cake sang me happy birthday
35:48so out of bad comes good i met some wonderful people on that on that flight so thank you well
35:53john you've been through it this weekend and you had a tough birthday so i wanted to present you with
35:57something uh in honor for being such a legend for bringing the word boss into the british language
36:05this is the very first the only last leg piece prize
36:18thank you very much that's right mate this um spring rolls and also the the number in roman numerals
36:23is that for the blue orchid in romford so there you go mate big up the blue orchid
36:28we'll have more last leg for you after the break we'll unveil our first mystery guest of the series
36:31and we'll find out what happens when you cross a sumo with the beetles we'll see you in a little bit
36:37welcome back to last leg where john my stevie martin and frank skinner um i just want to give a
36:56quick plug for a fundraiser i'm doing on sunday uh it's called an afternoon with mike mccartney now
37:01mike mccartney had hits with the songs lily the pink and thank you very much when he was in a band called
37:05scaffold but mike got a camera uh at the same time that his brother paul mccartney got his first ever
37:12guitar so mike's got all these amazing photos of his own career having number one hits that he goes
37:16through in the show as well as paul's attempt to start a band in liverpool all these photos that no
37:22one else has got uh we're doing the show at 3 p.m sunday at the park theater in finsbury park but i
37:27caught up with mike this week to go through the show and he just pulled out a photo out of nowhere
37:31it's a set it's a photo of a set of 10-pin bowling scores when he went bowling with him and his
37:36brother and their mates if you look from the names are paul john george mike what a 10-pin bowling set
37:45that is john got 76 yeah john lennon i never thought i'd say this but i think i'm better at bowling than john
37:52leon lennon
38:01very happy for you yeah um does he call himself mike mccartney because he was massive when i was a
38:09kid but he called himself mike mcgee yes so he didn't cash in i had a weird thing with paul mccartney
38:15i was i was with my partner who i since has become my wife and we were a group of us talking
38:20um after one of his gigs and he said can i just have a word and he took her off to one side
38:27and afterwards i said what did paul mccartney say and he said she said oh he said is he treating you
38:33all right oh my god because i said yeah i bet he actually said you're really lucky to have him
38:44but see that's that's what he said apparently oh look while we're plugging you're on tour at the
38:50moment stevie oh yes doing live shows around the country yes um frank you've got a book a story
38:55coming out well there's a book of pg woodhouse tribute short stories and i'm first in the book
39:03and i did the audio book so i don't know if you know pg woodhouse but i had to do the audio book go
39:09oh i say jeeves i really can't it's very on i don't know how posh people talk like that all the
39:15time oh yeah yeah it really hurts your throat which was wobbling around yeah okay exactly i didn't slap you
39:26um very briefly in sporting news this week the second ever grand sumo tournament outside of japan
39:31has taken place at the royal albert hall uh which means sumos were spotted all around london this week
39:38uh not not that hard to spot no that's a good point this is a good boy um but they look really
39:43incongruous someone took this sneaky photo of some sumos on lime bikes
39:51i wondered why my delivery didn't turn up
39:55and look we're gonna bring some sumo to you at the end of tonight's show josh and alex and i
39:59will take on the sumo in a three-on-one match in the studio to the death or at least to the
40:07end of the credits um right now though we're gonna bring on this week's mystery guest oh yeah
40:12someone from the news uh frank and stevie have to try to identify them can we have this week's mystery
40:18guest please
40:21okay why has this man been in the news this week let's please have the tense lighting change please
40:40so this is brian but why was he in the news was it because a he broke a world record after driving his
40:46shed at 123 miles an hour b he broke a world record by staying in his shed for 16 months and 12 days
40:54without leaving or c he broke hearts by marrying his shed so we need it we need an answer before the
41:03air break um what do you think i i i think he probably stayed in his shed for a long no you're wrong
41:11time that man can drive a shed no but i can smell the turps on him
41:19he can drive turps yeah what do you think he lives he lives in his shed i can tell you
41:26what actually looks so easy to be here can i oh equality um
41:31this is it yeah this is the final battle of the sexes who's gonna get it right he drove the shed for
41:43women all right we'll find out after the break we'll uncover the mystery guest we'll try a spot of sumo we'll
41:49see you in a little bit
42:06welcome back to last leg we're joined by stevie martin and frank skinner we are ready for sumo
42:11um but before the break we challenged uh stevie and frank to work out how our mystery guest brian was
42:17connected to the news alex can we have the options again please yes so what's brian did he break a
42:23world record uh driving at 123 miles an hour in his shed did he break a world record for staying
42:28in his shed for 16 months and 12 days without leaving or did he uh break hearts by marrying his
42:33shed so frank he's gone driving frank's gone um staying in the shed okay uh brian please reveal the
42:42correct answer
42:56greatest reveal in history what's really annoying is i saw that parked outside instead
43:15what else could it have been um so brian you're all right in there mate
43:21just a quick question how did it well how did it come about yeah no um yeah he was a great fan
43:32of record breakers as a child um roy castle playing his um trumpet singing um dedication is what you need
43:40yeah and hang on so what makes this a shed and not a car he identifies as a shed
43:54and and so what why what was the previous world record and why did you do this um the previous record
44:01was 106 yeah and um that's what my grandchildren ask as well granddad why are you bolting a shed onto a car
44:10well the simple answer is to get away from the big bad wolf oh yeah so you've now turned this into a
44:16uh a kid's book that is raising money for a charity called reach reach that's right i'm an ambassador
44:23of that alex is an ambassador for so it's coincidence yeah yeah i mean you've done 123 miles an hour but
44:29you've also come full circle i never thought i'd say this to someone in public but can you uh thank you
44:34for being on the show can you please reverse your shed out of here
44:53uh josh has been saying bosh to the last seven days yeah would you like to see an inopportune clip of a
45:00bird having its life saved for 2.6 seconds yes please
45:07just nature in action this just nature oh no who's that coming up
45:12uh-oh oh no don't i i don't know if this is the best oh no
45:19oh
45:23we are about to take part in a bit of para sumo live in the video
45:27i've ever seen bill oddy making an ofcom complaint
45:31before we do that though would you please thank our guests for tonight stevie martin
45:38freg skinner
45:39and big john fisher
45:46i'm my co-host josh ricka and alex brooker
45:52we'll be back next week with comedians catherine bowhart laura smith and richard
45:55ayo ady but right now let's get ready to sumo
46:04and he weighs 160 kilograms and he runs a sumo themed karaoke bar it was a toss of a coin sumo or
46:15dance alex please step into the ring so they bow now the the ritual and alex steps into the ring to take on
46:25george alex you have to both you don't the belt starts when both fists are on the ground are you taking a
46:30fucking piss okay should you take will you take one knuckle yeah good because i'm gonna
46:37fuck you with mine okay go on alex three two one sumo and the bout begins
46:46sit the back go on alex go on alex tremendous
46:53he's calling for help and now josh has gone in as well
46:59and now all three of them all right
47:02oh george has pushed it and george has won big hands for george zilkin tonight's champion
47:12tremendous work thanks for watching the last leg with adam hills see you next week for the next leg
47:20in you go
47:32so
47:40you
47:42you
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