- 2 days ago
A fun and timeless comedy featuring the iconic duo Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.
In this extended version of A Chump at Oxford (1940), the boys find themselves in a series of hilarious misadventures that lead them from simple jobs to unexpected college life at Oxford.
Perfect for classic film lovers who enjoy slapstick humor, witty moments, and golden-era cinema charm.
Watch, laugh, and relive one of Laurel & Hardy’s most memorable classic comedies.
In this extended version of A Chump at Oxford (1940), the boys find themselves in a series of hilarious misadventures that lead them from simple jobs to unexpected college life at Oxford.
Perfect for classic film lovers who enjoy slapstick humor, witty moments, and golden-era cinema charm.
Watch, laugh, and relive one of Laurel & Hardy’s most memorable classic comedies.
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00THE END
00:00:30The End
00:01:00You'll have to get out here, fellas.
00:01:30Thanks for the lift.
00:01:35Goodbye.
00:01:37How about a lift, mister?
00:01:42Sure.
00:01:48Jump on the back.
00:01:50Come on.
00:01:52Come on.
00:01:58Are you all set?
00:02:00Okay.
00:02:01Let her go.
00:02:02What's the big idea?
00:02:06Oh, what's the matter?
00:02:07Can't you take it, Joe?
00:02:08Get back on.
00:02:09I was only kidding.
00:02:10Well, it's a good thing you've apologized.
00:02:13Hello.
00:02:14We sure did told him off, didn't I?
00:02:15Yeah.
00:02:16Come on.
00:02:17Come on.
00:02:18Come on.
00:02:19Come on.
00:02:20Come on.
00:02:21Come on.
00:02:22Come on.
00:02:23Come on.
00:02:24Come on.
00:02:25I was only kidding.
00:02:26Come on.
00:02:27I was only kidding.
00:02:29Well, it's a good thing you've apologized.
00:02:30Hello.
00:02:31We sure did told him off, didn't I?
00:02:33Yeah.
00:02:56This is it, fellas.
00:03:01Thank you very much.
00:03:02Of course.
00:03:27What happened?
00:03:28Uh, good morning.
00:03:29Good morning.
00:03:30What can I do for you?
00:03:31Why, uh, we'd like a job.
00:03:32Uh, what kind of employment do you prefer?
00:03:34Oh, anything you've got, missus.
00:03:35You see, we're down to our last six bucks.
00:03:36Aren't we, Ollie?
00:03:37Yeah.
00:03:38Well, uh, kindly be seated.
00:03:39I'll talk to you in a little while.
00:03:40Thank you, Miss.
00:03:41Hello.
00:03:42Yes.
00:03:43Yes.
00:03:44Well, uh, kindly be seated.
00:03:45I'll talk to you in a little while.
00:03:46Thank you, Miss.
00:03:47Hello.
00:03:51Yes.
00:03:52Sterling Inclimate Agency.
00:03:56Who?
00:03:59Yes.
00:04:03Oh, yes, I understand.
00:04:04Oh, good morning, Mrs. Vanderveer.
00:04:06I'm in a terrible predicament.
00:04:08I'm giving a party tonight.
00:04:10My maiden butler has left me without notice.
00:04:12Could you send me over a couple to replace them?
00:04:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:04:15I haven't any on the list, but I'll see what I can do for you.
00:04:17Do you wish a single a married couple?
00:04:19I prefer a married couple.
00:04:21All right, Mrs. Vanderveer.
00:04:22I'll do my best to find you a maiden butler.
00:04:25Goodbye.
00:04:28Too bad you wasn't a woman.
00:04:29That'd be a swell job for us.
00:04:48Pardon me, madam, but did I understand you to say that you were looking for a maiden butler?
00:04:51Yes.
00:04:52Do you know of anyone?
00:04:53I know a couple that will just fill the bill.
00:04:55You do?
00:04:56Are they available?
00:04:57I could get them for you right away, if not sooner.
00:04:59Well, I'd appreciate it very much if you'd have them go to this address immediately.
00:05:02Yes, ma'am.
00:05:03Thank you very much.
00:05:05Come, Stanley.
00:05:09Goodbye.
00:05:10Goodbye.
00:05:15Goodbye.
00:05:17What's the idea?
00:05:18We don't know any couple.
00:05:20Do I?
00:05:21You don't.
00:05:22But...
00:05:23I do.
00:05:24Is that so?
00:05:25Well, we'll go and come on.
00:05:30Ah.
00:05:31Very nice, my dear.
00:05:32It's wonderful what you can do when you have to.
00:05:35Thank you, Baldy.
00:05:36You're such a dear.
00:05:37Oh, what's the latest on the maid and butler situation?
00:05:41I haven't heard a thing and I'm terribly worried.
00:05:44Oh, don't you worry a bit.
00:05:46If the worst comes to the worst, why, you can serve a buffet.
00:05:50Oh, excuse me.
00:05:52Uh, are you the head butler?
00:05:53I am Mr. Vanderbeer.
00:05:54Oh.
00:05:55Well, we are from the employment agency.
00:05:57Oh, yes.
00:05:58Uh, we are the best they could do at the last moment.
00:06:00Hmm.
00:06:01So I can see.
00:06:02Well, come right in.
00:06:04Come, dear.
00:06:06Come, dear.
00:06:07Ah.
00:06:08Ah.
00:06:09Ah.
00:06:10Ah.
00:06:11Ah.
00:06:12We are the best they could do at the last moment.
00:06:13Hmm.
00:06:14So I can see.
00:06:15Well, come right in.
00:06:17Come, dear.
00:06:18Ah.
00:06:19Ah.
00:06:20Ah.
00:06:21Ah.
00:06:22Ah.
00:06:23Ah.
00:06:24Ah.
00:06:25Ah.
00:06:26Ah.
00:06:27Ah.
00:06:28Ah.
00:06:29Ah.
00:06:30Ah.
00:06:31Ah.
00:06:32Ah.
00:06:33Ah.
00:06:34Ah.
00:06:35Ah.
00:06:36This way.
00:06:40Oh, darling.
00:06:41This is the new maiden butler.
00:06:43Ah.
00:06:44Mrs. Vanderbeer.
00:06:45How do you do, ma'am?
00:06:46What a strange-looking person.
00:06:56Oh, what do you expect on a few hours' notice?
00:06:58If you'd have gone to the trouble that we did to get us a job, you...
00:06:59Ah.
00:07:00Ah.
00:07:01What he means, I mean she means, is that this is the best they could do upon such short notice.
00:07:04Oh, never mind, dear.
00:07:05Oh, never mind, dear.
00:07:06Any old port in a storm, you know.
00:07:07I suppose you're right.
00:07:08Call Pierre.
00:07:09What's your name?
00:07:10Uh.
00:07:11What's your name?
00:07:12Ah.
00:07:13My name is Ollie.
00:07:14And this is Agnes.
00:07:15do upon such short notice oh never mind dear any old port in a storm you know i suppose you're
00:07:21right call pierre what's your name uh my name is ollie and this is agnes
00:07:30a slight accident did you ring madame yes pierre this is the new maiden butler
00:07:48show them to their quarters and explain their duties yes madame come here
00:07:53this way
00:08:09well well well
00:08:23no thank you
00:08:35no thank you they're good
00:08:43no thank you
00:08:53oh
00:09:11oh
00:09:19There's everything from soup to nuts, folks.
00:09:30Come and get it.
00:09:41What do I do now?
00:09:44You can take these cocktails.
00:09:47What, all of them?
00:09:48Certainly.
00:09:49See if you can do that without spilling them.
00:10:07Okay, boys, sit down.
00:10:09Now, don't nobody eat till Miss Vanley there gets here.
00:10:21She went to change her dress.
00:10:29Well, kid, how does she look?
00:10:30Well, folks, the joke's on me.
00:10:39I've got you all seated wrong.
00:10:41The old guy wants you all mixed up.
00:10:43I'll fix it.
00:10:43Just say, you.
00:10:45Me?
00:10:45You come over here.
00:10:46Yes.
00:10:47And bring your eats with you.
00:10:48And you go over there and take your eats with you.
00:10:51That's right.
00:10:52Now, that's all right.
00:10:53Now, don't get excited.
00:10:54I'll have it all fixed.
00:10:54And you go over there.
00:10:56Take your eats with you now.
00:10:57And you go over there and take your food with you.
00:10:59That's it.
00:11:00And you go over there and take your food with you.
00:11:02And you come over here.
00:11:03And you come over here.
00:11:04And you go over there.
00:11:05Just a minute.
00:11:06Now, just take it easy, old boy.
00:11:33We'll have everything all fixed.
00:11:34And, oh, no, no, no, no.
00:11:36Get over there, please.
00:11:38Take your eats with you.
00:11:38And you come over here.
00:11:40Don't you sit there.
00:11:41No, no, don't sit there, please.
00:11:42Now, one of you boys go right over there.
00:11:44And you come right here.
00:11:45No, no, no.
00:11:46You must get the food on this seat right here.
00:11:48That's right.
00:11:48Now, if you'll just get, that's it.
00:11:50Just go right around there and get your seat.
00:11:52And get your food.
00:11:53You got that.
00:11:55Now, sit down, will you?
00:11:56Pop.
00:11:57Pop.
00:11:58And if you go right up there, right there and sit right there.
00:12:01That's it.
00:12:02No, no, no, no, no, no, please.
00:12:03Over on this side.
00:12:05Now, now, you sit right over there.
00:12:06That's right.
00:12:07Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:12:08Over here, please.
00:12:09And if you'll sit right there.
00:12:10That's right.
00:12:11No, no, no, not you.
00:12:12The other one.
00:12:12That's right.
00:12:13Now, you sit right there.
00:12:14And you go over there, please.
00:12:15Yes.
00:12:16And then you sit right there.
00:12:17I'll have it just a moment now.
00:12:18And you sit right there.
00:12:20And you right here, little lady.
00:12:21That's right.
00:12:22Now, if you'll come.
00:12:26Stop.
00:12:28Everyone sit down right where you are.
00:12:30Agnes, will you please serve this salad without any dressing?
00:12:39What kind of a joint is this?
00:12:50What's the matter?
00:12:51He wants me to serve the salad undressed.
00:12:54Well, if he wants the salad undressed, that's the way he'll have it.
00:12:58Go get the salad.
00:12:59Go get the salad.
00:13:29Go get the salad.
00:13:59Go get the salad.
00:14:02Go get the salad.
00:14:05No!
00:14:24Why, you...
00:14:28Come on!
00:14:32I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I tell you. I'm sorry. I tell you. I didn't have my glasses on.
00:14:43Why don't you be careful? You almost blew my brains out.
00:15:02I don't know.
00:15:32Hey, love me a broom.
00:15:58Ow!
00:16:02Oh, my God.
00:16:32Oh, my God.
00:16:37Oh, my God.
00:16:41Oh, my God.
00:16:50Oh, my God.
00:16:59Oh, my God.
00:17:08Oh, my God.
00:17:17Oh, my God.
00:17:18Oh, my God.
00:17:22Oh, my God.
00:17:23Oh, my God.
00:17:25Oh, my God.
00:17:27Oh, my God.
00:17:28Oh, my God.
00:17:30Oh, my God.
00:17:32Oh, my God.
00:17:33Oh, my God.
00:17:34Oh, my God.
00:17:35Oh, my God.
00:17:37You see, if we went to school like other people, we would learn our three R's and today, there'd be no job too small for us.
00:17:45Believe me.
00:17:46What do you mean, three R's?
00:17:48Well, reading, writing and... and figuring.
00:17:55Figuring?
00:17:56Sure. You know, two and two make something and four and four make something. It's different to the first...
00:18:03You mean arithmetic.
00:18:05Yeah, I knew what it meant, but I couldn't say it.
00:18:08Sir, I think you've got something there.
00:18:10Have I?
00:18:11Yeah. After we finish work today, we'll start going to night school.
00:18:15That's a good idea. Too bad we didn't think of that before.
00:18:19Yeah.
00:18:28Thanks, sir.
00:18:35You're welcome.
00:18:44You're welcome, sir.
00:18:47You're welcome.
00:18:51You're welcome.
00:18:54Let's go.
00:19:24Don't throw that on the sidewalk.
00:19:27Well, we're going to clean it up anyway.
00:19:54I want to thank you, officers, for your quick action.
00:20:08Don't thank us. Those are the boys that made the capture.
00:20:16My boys, you've done a service for me that I can never forget.
00:20:19You've saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars.
00:20:22What can I do to repay you?
00:20:24I don't know, sir.
00:20:25Maybe I can give you some work to do in the bank.
00:20:27Well, that's very kind of you, sir, but I'm afraid we wouldn't be of much help to you.
00:20:31You see, we haven't got any education, have we, Stanley?
00:20:34No, we don't know a thing, do we?
00:20:37That's right. In fact, we were just talking of going to night school.
00:20:40I see. Diamonds in the rough.
00:20:43And all you need is a little polish with the proper setting.
00:20:47If it's an education you want, you shall have the finest that money can buy.
00:20:53What do you think?
00:20:55What do you think?
00:20:56Well, it'll save us the trouble of going to night school.
00:20:59It's a go.
00:21:00It's a go.
00:21:04Come, change.
00:21:05Let's go.
00:21:06Oh!
00:21:07Come, you are.
00:21:09Go come!
00:21:10Get holy.
00:21:11Oh, come, let's go.
00:21:12Go watch.
00:21:13Go watch!
00:21:14We'll see you, sir.
00:21:15He's very Arrived by the Al Sea.
00:21:16Pulling the light of all sorts new packs and theuxies,
00:21:19waiting.
00:21:20Never!
00:21:21.
00:21:32THE END
00:22:02Do you see what I see?
00:22:06What is it?
00:22:18I think they're entitled to the royal initiation, don't you?
00:22:21By all means.
00:22:23Now listen.
00:22:24You round up the boys, we all have a lot of fun.
00:22:27I'll start them off in the maze.
00:22:29So this is Oxford.
00:22:32Yes, sir. I think we're going to like it here.
00:22:34Pardon me, but haven't you come to the wrong college?
00:22:37Well, this is Oxford, isn't it?
00:22:39Yes, but you're dressed for eating.
00:22:41Well, that's swell. We haven't eaten since breakfast, have we?
00:22:44Haven't eaten since breakfast.
00:22:46It's your idea of us being dressed like this.
00:22:48No wonder everyone's staring at us.
00:22:50Well, gentlemen, if I can be of any help to you at all, I'm entirely at your service.
00:22:54No, thank you very much.
00:22:55I wonder if you could tell us where to find the head teacher.
00:22:58Oh, you mean the dean.
00:23:00Why, it'd be a pleasure to escort you there myself.
00:23:03Oh, by the way, have you a pass?
00:23:05A pass?
00:23:07Yes, you must have a pass to see the dean.
00:23:09Well, where do we get it?
00:23:10From the pass, professor.
00:23:12Well, where do we find it?
00:23:13Well, now, you see that entrance to the hedge over there?
00:23:16Yeah.
00:23:17Well, now, when you enter there, you go to the right, then to the left, then to the right again, and then to the right again.
00:23:24Then, after you've been to the right, you keep going right until you come to the left turn again.
00:23:28Then, you go right again until you find yourself left on the right side.
00:23:32Oh, I know it sounds a bit complicated, but if you keep to the right, you simply can't go wrong.
00:23:38Oh, thank you.
00:23:39Now, then, when you come to the exit on the other side of the hedge, you'll see a sign with a hand pointing to the professor's lodge.
00:23:46Is that to the right or to the left?
00:23:48My dear old thing, it makes no difference.
00:23:52Now, let me get this straight.
00:23:53We go to the left when we're after the...
00:23:56I have the directions, Stanley.
00:23:58Clearly in my mind.
00:24:00Thank you very much.
00:24:03Yeah.
00:24:03Goodbye.
00:24:04Cheerio.
00:24:04I'll be waiting for you.
00:24:05Goodbye.
00:24:06Goodbye.
00:24:07Goodbye.
00:24:07Goodbye.
00:24:10Goodbye.
00:24:11Well, cheerio.
00:24:13Toodle-oo.
00:24:22Gee, he sure is a swell guy, isn't he?
00:24:24He certainly is.
00:24:25I knew it the minute I set eyes on it.
00:24:27You did?
00:24:28Yeah.
00:24:28That's one thing I pride myself on, is reading character.
00:24:32Is that so?
00:24:33Yeah.
00:24:53No, no, no.
00:24:54To your left.
00:24:58Now to your right.
00:25:06Your left.
00:25:18Now to the right.
00:25:19Wait a minute.
00:25:25All we're doing is going around in cycles.
00:25:34You know what?
00:25:35What?
00:25:36I think we must have taken the wrong turning.
00:25:39What do you mean, the wrong turning?
00:25:41Well, maybe we went to the left instead of to the right.
00:25:44Remember the fellow said, first you turn to the right.
00:25:47All right.
00:25:48All right.
00:25:49Now you go to the left and I'll go to the right.
00:25:51And whoever finds the exit first comes back and gets the other one.
00:25:55That's a good idea.
00:25:57Now we're getting someplace.
00:26:03Say, what are we going to do about the trunk?
00:26:05Think we'd better leave it here?
00:26:06Why, certainly not.
00:26:08We may never be able to find it again.
00:26:10Well, I can't carry it.
00:26:11It's too heavy.
00:26:13All right.
00:26:13I suppose it's up to me, as usual.
00:26:15Well, I'm not as big as you are.
00:26:17Get it on my back.
00:26:18Well, I'll do a little I can to help you.
00:26:23All right.
00:26:24Slide it up.
00:26:28Take it easy.
00:26:30Got it all right?
00:26:31It'll be all right as soon as I get a grip on it.
00:26:34You want a grip on it?
00:26:35Yeah.
00:26:43There, Bionna.
00:26:44Now, help me up.
00:26:45Now, up's a date.
00:26:46There we are.
00:26:57All right.
00:26:58Now, don't forget to holler.
00:27:00I won't.
00:27:02Bye.
00:27:03Goodbye.
00:27:04You all right, ma'am?
00:27:05Goodbye.
00:27:07Goodbye.
00:27:15Bye.
00:27:40Bye.
00:27:41Bye.
00:27:41Oh, Wally.
00:27:53Where are you?
00:27:55I'm here. Where are you?
00:27:56I'm here.
00:27:58How can you be here if I'm here?
00:28:00Well, Stan, I'm exactly where you...
00:28:02Will you come and find me?
00:28:03Well, I will as soon as I can find myself.
00:28:06What do you think I am?
00:28:07Can't be in two places at once.
00:28:09Wait.
00:28:11Here we are.
00:28:13Will you show me the exit?
00:28:15Here it is.
00:28:16Oh, swell. Now get me out of here.
00:28:17All right. You follow me. We'll take the shortcut.
00:28:20All right.
00:28:21Right this way.
00:28:21All right.
00:28:22Now, don't lose me.
00:28:23I won't.
00:28:23Hey, just a minute.
00:28:38What did you do with the suitcases?
00:28:41I put them on top of the trunk.
00:28:42If I had been carrying these all the time, get this off of my back.
00:28:53Let's rest a while. I'm tired.
00:28:55Let's rest a while. I'm tired.
00:29:01I am, too.
00:29:03I am, too, olduck.
00:29:04Oh, dear.
00:29:05Oh.
00:29:06Oh.
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:10Ah.
00:29:10Oh.
00:29:11Oh, my God.
00:29:41Give me my handkerchief.
00:29:51Give me my handkerchief.
00:30:11Thank you, Ollie.
00:30:31Will you leave that alone?
00:30:33I thought you just gave it to me.
00:30:41Now, cut that out.
00:31:11Oh, my God.
00:31:17Mm-hmm.
00:31:50What's the matter now?
00:32:10I just saw three hands.
00:32:13Now sit down.
00:32:14You're crazy.
00:32:15You've been going around in cycles all day and you're dizzy.
00:32:18Is that what it is?
00:32:19Why, sadly, you just had a dizzy spell.
00:32:23Now let me get some rest, will you?
00:32:31Never had one of those before.
00:32:50No, no, no, no.
00:32:52No, no, no.
00:32:54No.
00:32:54Come on.
00:33:24Hey, Ollie, I don't want to bother you,
00:33:48but I just had another one of those dizzy spells.
00:33:50Oh, no wonder. Smoking those big black cigars,
00:33:55they're too strong for you.
00:33:56Is that what it...
00:33:57Certainly.
00:34:20Did you see that?
00:34:22Sure, it's one of those dizzy spells again.
00:34:24That wasn't no dizzy spell. Go see what it was.
00:34:30I don't want to see what it was.
00:34:31Go see what it was and don't argue.
00:34:32Hurry up. I'll wait right here for you.
00:34:39Oh, it's no dizzy spell.
00:34:41I don't want to see what it was.
00:34:42Go see what it was, and don't argue.
00:34:43Hurry up. I'll wait right here for you.
00:34:45Now it's one of those dizzy spells again.
00:34:47That wasn't no dizzy spell.
00:34:49Go see what it was.
00:34:51I don't want to see what it was.
00:34:52Go see what it was and don't argue.
00:34:54Hurry up. I'll wait right here for you.
00:35:15Come on.
00:35:23Nope. Nobody there.
00:35:25Just one of those dizzy spells again.
00:35:27Even you look different.
00:35:29Stand! Oh, stand!
00:35:31What? Come on!
00:35:33Okay, I'll...
00:35:39Don't leave me. Give me your hand.
00:35:45No!
00:35:55You're dead.
00:36:11Well, can you beat that?
00:36:13that. Welcome to Oxford. You know what? What? I think that fella that sent us in here made
00:36:26a fool out of you. Yes, and if I ever see him again, I'll punch him right in the nose.
00:36:31I don't blame you. Say, I thought you said you could read character. I can, but he was
00:36:38two-faced. Oh. You know, I'll never trust anybody again as long as I live. That's a good idea.
00:36:45Bring them across to Johnson's quarters. The boys have everything arranged. Righto.
00:36:50Well, how do I look? Marvellous. Much better than the old Dean himself. Do you think he'll ever
00:36:57recognize me with this? Never in a month of Sundays. Hurry, fellas. Here comes Cecil with the chumps.
00:37:04Oh, oh. Bring him in a minute. Bring him in a minute. Bring him in a minute. Here we are.
00:37:13This way, please.
00:37:20Dean, may I present the two new boys from America? This is Dr. Ramsbottom, the Dean of our University.
00:37:28Pleased to meet you, Mr. Dean. Charmed, I'm sure.
00:37:31And meet Professor Pushhaveney, Dr. Pigsfoot, and his brother, Trotter.
00:37:41Well, dear old things, heartiest congratulations on all that sort of thing on your entrance into
00:37:47dear old Oxford. I hope that our association will be a happy union. And we wish to show our hospitality
00:37:54family, true to the traditions of our college, by giving you a most hearty and royal greeting.
00:38:01Charry-o, I don't think.
00:38:03Thank you very much.
00:38:05Now, is everything in readiness to escort these gentlemen to their quarters?
00:38:09Everything.
00:38:10Everything.
00:38:11Then, carry on.
00:38:14For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow,
00:38:20and so say all of us.
00:38:22I shall be quite some time at the lecture, Jackins. You may take the afternoon off.
00:38:27Thank you, sir.
00:38:28Goodbye, sir.
00:38:29For he's a delicate fellow
00:38:32For he's a delicate fellow
00:38:35For he's a delicate fellow
00:38:37And so say all of us
00:38:39And so say all of us
00:38:46And close to all of us, and close to all of us, and close to all of us.
00:38:53For he's a giant fellow, for he's a giant fellow,
00:38:57for he's a giant fellow, and close to all of us.
00:39:03Well, gentlemen, these are your quarters.
00:39:06Now, don't be afraid to make yourselves at home.
00:39:08Now, ta-ta, skip the gutter.
00:39:11And good luck, we don't think.
00:39:16Say, that Dean's a swell guy, ain't he?
00:39:19Now, there's a man that you can trust.
00:39:22He sure is.
00:39:23Gee, this is a swell joint, I don't think.
00:39:26It's a pit.
00:39:27Lovely.
00:39:28No wonder people go to school.
00:39:31Nice place to live in like this.
00:39:34No flies and nothing.
00:39:36I wonder how long this place has been open.
00:39:39I wonder.
00:39:41You'd think they would advertise this college and let people know that it was on the map.
00:39:45Say, do you know what?
00:39:47What?
00:39:48We didn't have any sleep last night.
00:39:50That's right.
00:39:51In this excitement, I completely forgot it.
00:39:54I'll tell you what let's do.
00:39:55Let's unpack the trunk and make ourselves at home.
00:39:58That's a good idea.
00:40:00Boy, is this the life.
00:40:21Boy, is this the life.
00:40:23These English colleges certainly give you the wakes.
00:40:25Don't they, though?
00:40:27You should see what they've done to the dean's bedroom.
00:40:29Fix me another snort.
00:40:31Hey, fellows, Kayleigh.
00:40:33Here comes the dean.
00:40:35The dean?
00:40:37No, no, no, we can't get out here.
00:40:39He's coming down the hall.
00:40:41What should he do?
00:40:43He's coming down the hall.
00:40:45What should he do?
00:40:47He's coming down the hall.
00:41:01Did you hear that?
00:41:02Sure. What is it?
00:41:03I don't know. Go see.
00:41:17Nobody there. It couldn't have been somebody.
00:41:33How about 40 winks?
00:41:35That's a good idea.
00:41:37Say, Ollie.
00:41:39What now?
00:41:41How about a nightcap?
00:41:43Well, just one.
00:41:45There's no fish water.
00:41:47Well, get some.
00:41:49How about a nightcap?
00:41:51Well, just one.
00:41:55There's no fish water.
00:41:57Well, get some.
00:42:07That's all right.
00:42:10What?
00:42:12Boy, I want you to try.
00:42:14So far, town.
00:42:16Every day,
00:42:37There's no more nightcap.
00:42:46Well, now, what would you do in a case like that?
00:42:59Go and get some.
00:43:00Certainly.
00:43:02Sample.
00:43:07I don't think.
00:43:33Ripping.
00:43:37Say, Ollie.
00:43:43What?
00:43:43I wonder who that old buzzard is over there.
00:43:47Oh, probably some old cockroach that had this room before we did.
00:43:51Get a load of that puss.
00:43:52Say, did you ever see a face like that anywhere except in a zoo?
00:43:56Sure.
00:43:57Where?
00:43:58In a monkey house.
00:43:59I never thought of that.
00:44:04Monkey house.
00:44:06Give me some more fizz water.
00:44:13Say, I bet your nickel I can hit him in the eye.
00:44:16Bet you can.
00:44:16Bet you.
00:44:17All right.
00:44:17You missed.
00:44:23Give me the bottle.
00:44:26Dime or nothing.
00:44:27All right.
00:44:28I'll give you a chance to get even.
00:44:29All right.
00:44:30Now.
00:44:30What are you doing in my quarters?
00:44:47You've got a lot of nerve.
00:44:49What do you mean your quarters?
00:44:51They're our quarters.
00:44:52The dean, just give them to us.
00:44:54I am the dean.
00:44:55Read his character.
00:44:56I just did.
00:44:57He's a phony.
00:44:58It's another rib.
00:45:00Sure, he's got ribs all over his face.
00:45:02See them?
00:45:03Get out of my quarters, I tell you.
00:45:06You know what the trouble is?
00:45:07He's got one of those dizzy spells.
00:45:09Yeah.
00:45:09He's a dizzy dean.
00:45:11Sure, that's what he is.
00:45:12Now, come on, dizzy.
00:45:13Get out of here before I throw you out.
00:45:15Yeah, and that goes for me, too, Diz.
00:45:17You can't.
00:45:18This is an outrage.
00:45:19I shall have you sent down.
00:45:20I'll have you prosecuted.
00:45:22Oh!
00:45:23There's her.
00:45:24Oh.
00:45:25And that's for you.
00:45:27You'll suffer for this.
00:45:28That's a lot of baloney.
00:45:31There's her.
00:45:33See here.
00:45:34Up all the comfortable.
00:45:34Come on, get out of here.
00:45:36We'll, we'll come down.
00:45:37You.
00:45:37Who's this guy?
00:45:38I'll tell him all the parents.
00:45:43Skip.
00:45:44I shall speak to my son.
00:45:47Jenkins.
00:45:48Come on, get out of here.
00:45:49We've had enough politics at last year.
00:45:51No one.
00:45:52And stay out of here.
00:45:53Get out of here.
00:45:53We're sick.
00:46:01What is the meaning of this?
00:46:03You'll find out.
00:46:05Hey, Deany, tell this nitwit to get out of here and stop bothering us.
00:46:08Yeah, he's trying to crash in on our party, isn't he?
00:46:11What is this all about?
00:46:13Hey, Dean, tell him.
00:46:15Dean, I reiterate, I am the Dean.
00:46:17Ah, don't give us that.
00:46:19He told us he was the Dean, and he gave us these quarters.
00:46:22Didn't he stand?
00:46:23He certainly did, didn't you?
00:46:25Is this true, Johnson?
00:46:29Yes, sir.
00:46:29See?
00:46:30Now, don't you feel silly?
00:46:31Yeah, get out of here now.
00:46:32Silence!
00:46:34You should be expelled.
00:46:35Sent down for this, my lad.
00:46:37All of you.
00:46:37This is the most disgraceful outrage ever perpetrated in the history of Oxford.
00:46:41Report to me in the morning.
00:46:43You may go.
00:46:45Snitchers.
00:46:49Jenkins.
00:46:49Yes, sir.
00:46:50Help them to pack their things and see if they're taken to their proper quarters.
00:46:53Very good, sir.
00:46:54That is all.
00:46:55What will the painter say when he hears I'm to be expelled?
00:47:11Don't worry.
00:47:12We'll see they're not here tomorrow to testify against us.
00:47:15Snitchers like that have no place in Oxford.
00:47:18You're right.
00:47:19The dirty dogs.
00:47:21That's one thing we won't tolerate in Oxford.
00:47:23Snitching.
00:47:25Right, sir.
00:47:25Let's show them.
00:47:26Let's go and get inside.
00:47:27We'll do something about it.
00:47:27You think, Lord, not?
00:47:28Here you are, gentlemen.
00:47:30These are your quarters.
00:47:36Meredith the Valley will be here shortly to attend to your needs.
00:47:40Good afternoon, gentlemen.
00:47:41Good afternoon.
00:47:42Well, so far, so good.
00:47:46Can you beat that?
00:47:47What?
00:47:48Look.
00:47:49We're only that far from home.
00:47:51It says I...
00:47:53Come in.
00:47:56How do you do, gentlemen?
00:47:57I'm Meredith.
00:47:59I'm Mr. Hardy.
00:48:00This is my friend, Mr. Lawrence.
00:48:01How do you do, Mr. Hardy?
00:48:03How do you do, Mr. Lawrence?
00:48:05Your lordship.
00:48:08Don't you remember me, sir?
00:48:09I'm Meredith.
00:48:11Don't you recall I used to take care of you, sir?
00:48:14Look out, another riff.
00:48:16Say, that's a lot of hooey.
00:48:17You never saw him before in your life.
00:48:19No, and I never saw you either.
00:48:21Oh, pardon me.
00:48:23I understand your lordship, why you don't recognize me.
00:48:27Oh, it's a pity.
00:48:28It's a pity.
00:48:29What's a pity?
00:48:31Oh, it's a sad story, sir.
00:48:33It was a great blow to Oxford.
00:48:35You see, it's like this, sir.
00:48:36When his lordship was here before, he was the greatest athlete and the greatest scholar this university ever boasted of.
00:48:43And, oh, what a brilliant mind.
00:48:48Are you trying to make me believe that this is the guy you're talking about?
00:48:53I know it.
00:48:54I was never so sure in my life.
00:48:57Brilliant mind.
00:48:58Well, I've known him for years, and he's the dumbest guy I ever saw.
00:49:08Aren't you, Stanley?
00:49:09I certainly am.
00:49:10That's why I'm here.
00:49:12Oh, pardon me, sir.
00:49:13You don't understand.
00:49:15I can recall your accident most vividly.
00:49:18What accident?
00:49:20It happened in this very room.
00:49:22It was right here, at this very window.
00:49:24Your lordship had just defeated Cambridge,
00:49:26and you were standing there acknowledging the plaudits of the entire student body.
00:49:31And just as I came in with your tea and crumpets,
00:49:34the window slipped and hit you on the head as odds of every hammer.
00:49:38Huh.
00:49:38And when you came to,
00:49:40you'd lost your memory
00:49:42and wandered away from the university.
00:49:45And we never saw or heard of you from that day to this.
00:49:49Pardon me for being frank,
00:49:50but I think that you are screwy.
00:49:53Sure is nuts.
00:49:54He's got bees in his cockpit.
00:49:56That's what's the matter with him.
00:49:57Oh, if I could only bring your memory back.
00:50:00Maybe one of these days,
00:50:01some of your peculiar mannerisms may show up.
00:50:04What mannerism?
00:50:05Your lordship had a most outstanding one.
00:50:08Did I?
00:50:09And when you got very angry,
00:50:12you'd wiggle your ears in a most extraordinary manner.
00:50:15And you'd fight like a demon.
00:50:17Fight like a demon.
00:50:23Wiggle your ears.
00:50:24What?
00:50:24Wiggle your ears.
00:50:31I can't wiggle my ears.
00:50:33Of course you can.
00:50:34Of course I can.
00:50:34Now stop this kidding,
00:50:36and we don't want to hear any more about it.
00:50:37No more about it.
00:50:38Very good, sir.
00:50:39You don't want to hear it?
00:50:41Say, why don't you read his character?
00:50:42Maybe he's right.
00:50:43Maybe I am a lordship.
00:50:46You a lordship.
00:50:49And we're only this far from home.
00:50:52Well, I knew a fellow once that lost his memory,
00:50:55and he's better now.
00:50:57You see...
00:50:58I wonder what this is all about.
00:51:27That's the student's charm to revenge, sir.
00:51:30Evidently, some gentleman has violated the ethics of the student body.
00:51:34And when that happens,
00:51:36they're never satisfied until they've hounded the guilty one out of all.
00:51:40We'll cut their throats and take out their thumb.
00:51:45We'll chew them up like chewing gum.
00:51:50Three, five, four.
00:51:52Look, they're pointing at us.
00:51:53Don't worry.
00:51:54It's another rib.
00:51:55Oh, no, sir. They never jest in a case like this.
00:51:58...send them back where they came from.
00:52:02He, I, O, from...
00:52:06Listen, chaps. We'll go up and make them jump out of the window.
00:52:09If they won't jump, we'll take off their britches and throw them out.
00:52:13Here, grab the blanket, chaps.
00:52:20They mean us all right. What are we going to do?
00:52:22We'd better get out of here.
00:52:24We want the blood of an American.
00:52:28Be he alive or be he dead.
00:52:32Where can we hide?
00:52:34Climb out the window so long that it leads them to the next study...
00:52:37...and make your escape from there.
00:52:41Say, Olly, what have we got to do about the trunk?
00:52:43Never mind the trunk.
00:52:45...and stones will break their...
00:52:49Oh, my...
00:52:55Good gracious, Meredith. Why don't you fix that window?
00:52:58Hit me right on the cranium.
00:53:00Your lordship. You've got your memory back. You know me.
00:53:04What on earth are you talking about? Of course I know you.
00:53:07Where's my tea and crampets? Hurry.
00:53:09Oh, it's a miracle. A miracle.
00:53:12Are you barmy?
00:53:14No.
00:53:15See who that is. Stop annoying me.
00:53:17Yes. Yes, my lord.
00:53:18Must be losing his memory.
00:53:20Silly old boundar.
00:53:22There's one of them.
00:53:23What is the meaning of this vulgar intrusion?
00:53:26You know what we mean.
00:53:27We're going to take off your britches...
00:53:29...and run you out of Oxford.
00:53:31What? Take off my britches?
00:53:33In the presence of Meredith?
00:53:35Yes, you dirty snitcher.
00:53:38Repeat that remark again.
00:53:40Dirty snitchers!
00:53:48Meredith, hold my handkerchief.
00:53:50Yes, my lord.
00:53:51Now, I demand an immediate apology.
00:53:54An apology!
00:53:55I'll give you an apology!
00:54:21Oh!
00:54:38Oh!
00:54:39Oh!
00:54:40Oh!
00:54:41Uh-oh!
00:54:42Oh!
00:54:43Oh!
00:54:46Oh!
00:54:47Oh!
00:54:49Oh!
00:54:50Oh!
00:54:51Oh!
00:55:12Wonderful, Your Lordship, wonderful.
00:55:15Right back to your old form again.
00:55:17It may all good to see you carry on.
00:55:20Hitting off with it across and...
00:55:22Don't annoy me, Meredith.
00:55:24Get this place cleaned up and hurry with my tin crumpets.
00:55:27Very good, Your Lord.
00:55:28I'm starved, really.
00:55:30What's the big idea of throwing me out the window?
00:55:33I beg your pardon?
00:55:35Meredith, who is this coarse person with the foreign accent?
00:55:38Why, you little shrimp. Are you trying to rip me now?
00:55:42Be careful, sir. Be careful.
00:55:44His lordship's regained his memory.
00:55:46Don't annoy him, sir.
00:55:48Or he may again become violent.
00:55:51It's on the level, then.
00:55:53Yes, sir.
00:55:55Well, congratulations.
00:55:57I'm sorry, but we've never been introduced.
00:56:00Meredith, will you kindly officiate?
00:56:03Mr. Hardy, meet Lord Paddington.
00:56:07How do.
00:56:08What is the nature of your business here?
00:56:11Well, Stan, don't you know me?
00:56:15Know you?
00:56:16Why, I never saw you before in all my life.
00:56:18What are you talking about?
00:56:20Don't you remember?
00:56:21We used to sweep the streets together.
00:56:23Sweep the streets?
00:56:24How dare you?
00:56:25How dare you make such slurring remarks?
00:56:28Meredith, show this common person the egress...
00:56:31and eject him, possibly.
00:56:33This way, sir.
00:56:34Oh, wait a minute.
00:56:35I don't know what you're talking about,
00:56:37but this is gone far enough.
00:56:39I'm gonna mop the floor up with you.
00:56:42Have a care.
00:56:48Wiggling your ears ain't gonna stop me.
00:56:52Oh!
00:56:53Oh!
00:56:55Oh!
00:56:56H!
00:56:58The End
00:57:00THE END
00:57:30Come in.
00:57:45Oh, good morning, Fatty.
00:57:46Good morning, Your Lordship.
00:57:48Tea, Your Lordship.
00:57:51Nadine wishes to speak with you, Your Lordship.
00:57:53Oh, come right in. Come right in.
00:57:56You may remain here, Fatty.
00:57:58Good morning, good morning.
00:57:59Would you care to join me in a spot of tea?
00:58:02No, thanks. Not only for me, thanks.
00:58:03Don't stand there like a dummy. Get a chair for the dean.
00:58:06Pardon my ballet being so horribly stupid.
00:58:10He's not quite broken in yet.
00:58:11Rather thick, as it were.
00:58:13Why do you tolerate him?
00:58:14Oh, I don't know.
00:58:15He's got a jolly old face, you know.
00:58:18Breaks the monotony and helps to fill up the room.
00:58:23And besides, he's something to talk to.
00:58:25You understand?
00:58:26I quite understand, Your Lordship.
00:58:28Well, a thousand congratulations for all the wonderful things you've accomplished since your return to Oxford.
00:58:35Oh, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
00:58:37Might I presume to ask you a favor?
00:58:40Why, certainly.
00:58:41Professor Einstein has just arrived from Princeton, and he's a bit confused about his theory.
00:58:49You don't say.
00:58:50He wondered if you could straighten him out.
00:58:53It would be a pleasure.
00:58:54When could you give him a few moments?
00:58:58Let me see.
00:58:59Oh, Fatty.
00:59:01Hand me my memorandum.
00:59:06Let me see now.
00:59:08Monday till Tuesday.
00:59:11And suppose we make it Ash Wednesday.
00:59:15Oh, thank you, Your Lordship.
00:59:17The professor will be so very grateful to you.
00:59:19That's perfectly all right.
00:59:21Incidentally, you may invite him to have lunch with me.
00:59:24Oh.
00:59:24I'm having pancakes.
00:59:25Oh, thank you, Your Lordship.
00:59:29Thank you, Fatty.
00:59:36Good gracious, Fatty.
00:59:38What is this?
00:59:38Senna tea?
00:59:39Take this stuff away immediately.
00:59:42Don't let it occur again.
00:59:44My goodness.
00:59:44Einstein.
00:59:48If it wasn't for that bump on the head, he wouldn't know Einstein from a beerstein.
00:59:52By the way, Fatty, I've noticed lately that you're getting terribly sloven.
01:00:00How do you mean, sir?
01:00:01Well, you don't seem to have the dignity of becoming of a lackey.
01:00:06No poise.
01:00:08You don't walk right or something.
01:00:11Let me see.
01:00:12Pull in your stomach.
01:00:13That's better now.
01:00:18Now throw your shoulders back.
01:00:20That's right.
01:00:21Now chin up.
01:00:22Chin up.
01:00:23No, no, no, no.
01:00:24Both of them.
01:00:25Both of them.
01:00:30There.
01:00:30That's better now.
01:00:31Now walk around.
01:00:33Let me see you.
01:00:34Now snap into it.
01:00:36Make it brisker.
01:00:37Brisker.
01:00:38Now chins up.
01:00:40Chin...
01:00:40Now look what you've done, clump.
01:00:43Let's see.
01:00:46Listen, I've had enough of this.
01:00:48Why, I knew you and I had more brains in my little finger than you had in your whole carcass.
01:00:54Even with your overcoat on.
01:00:55You're a witty old stick in the nut, aren't you, Fatty?
01:00:58You bet I am.
01:00:59And don't call me Fatty.
01:01:00Don't get excited, old dear.
01:01:02Who's excited?
01:01:03I'm through.
01:01:04You can take your lordships, your Roxford, and your Paddingtons and do what you like with them.
01:01:09Why, I've surprised me.
01:01:10I've never been so humiliated in your whole life.
01:01:11I'm still trying to help you out, really, old dear.
01:01:13No thingy can't you do, really.
01:01:15Then there's one more thing, too.
01:01:17I didn't like that double chin crack.
01:01:19Well done, dear old fellow.
01:01:21My goodness will have set up.
01:01:24For he's the jolly good fellow.
01:01:26For he's the jolly good fellow.
01:01:28Which nobody does deny.
01:01:30Which nobody does deny.
01:01:32Which nobody does deny.
01:01:34I've never been so humiliated and embarrassed in all my life.
01:01:36I'm going to get my clothes and get out of here and catch the first boat back.
01:01:39And some did on every hand.
01:01:40And another thing.
01:01:42Then find him more.
01:01:43Get another boy.
01:01:44Goodbye.
01:01:47Hey, Ollie.
01:01:48What?
01:01:49Where you going?
01:01:50Back to America for me.
01:01:52Hey, Ollie.
01:01:54Ollie!
01:01:55What you gonna tell me?
01:01:56Stan!
01:01:57You know me.
01:01:58Well, of course I know you.
01:01:59What's the matter?
01:02:00You got one of those dishes here?
01:02:01Ha, ha, ha.
01:02:02Ha, ha, ha.
01:02:03Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:02:06Here he is!
01:02:36THE END
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