- 17 hours ago
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00:00That's Rob Jason Donovan with too many broken hearts.
00:03Remember this? Remember the pressure?
00:08Zip it, Gabby Davis. You're talking over Sonya.
00:11Play and record. Together.
00:14Don't get the DJing.
00:17Got it.
00:20That was close.
00:30Christine, I had to show you before the party.
00:49New raspberry range.
00:51They have never done colours like this before.
00:54Stunning.
00:55You're going door to door?
00:56Someone's desperate for commission.
00:57I'm not doing this for commission, Christine. I'm doing it for you.
01:00I've seen the inside of your fridge.
01:01Chicken drumstick sat on the shelf there without so much as a bit of cling around it.
01:05Why are you sniffling around my fridge like a truffle pig?
01:07And anyway, I've got plenty of Tupperware.
01:09Oh, pink?
01:11Raspberry range.
01:12About a 12-inch?
01:14Compartments.
01:15The dips.
01:17We need this.
01:19I was thinking of inviting Jez Saturday night.
01:21Bit of a welcome to the close.
01:23What's that bloke want with a Tupperware party, Christine?
01:24Well, I just thought he seems quite...
01:26organised.
01:28Well, he might be, but this is a night for the girlies.
01:30I'm going.
01:32Just thought it might be nice to invite him.
01:34Christine, us ladies don't have much in this world, yeah?
01:37But these...
01:38These airtight stackable containers in an assortment of colour, shapes and sizes...
01:43These are ours.
01:44Yeah.
01:45We're storing more than nibbles in there.
01:47We're storing love.
01:49Hopes and dreams.
01:51Planes and...
01:51Oh, God, it was just a thought.
01:54And anyway, he seems quite flush.
01:55He might have had a big order.
01:56Well, I'll pop round and show him now.
01:58But he's not coming Saturday.
01:59Ladies' night.
02:00And me.
02:02As I said.
02:03Oi!
02:03Dad's on the telly!
02:05Has a run of bad results affected the team's morale?
02:08Well, uh...
02:09No-one wants to lose that many games in a season.
02:1222.
02:14But, let's not forget we did well last season.
02:18We've got form.
02:19We've just got to find it again.
02:21How are the boys feeling?
02:22My boys know they have my unconditional support.
02:25We're just going to keep working.
02:27I think you've worked hard enough today.
02:28I'll let you get home.
02:29No need.
02:30There's nowhere I'd rather be.
02:32Oh, charming.
02:34Travelled by my dad and on regional TV.
02:39All right, love.
02:43Did you watch it?
02:44Look East.
02:45Yeah, I did.
02:46How did I come across?
02:47Yeah, good.
02:48Really good.
02:50It's just...
02:52Sometimes, the way you talk about the players,
02:56your boys, there's nowhere you'd rather be,
02:58well, I think it upsets Alan a bit.
03:00What do you mean?
03:02Well, you've got two boys at home.
03:03Oh, give over.
03:04It's totally different.
03:06I just think you can make more of an effort.
03:07Especially with Alan.
03:08I'm always making an effort.
03:11I watched that detective woman
03:14cycling around with a typewriter.
03:15Murder, she wrote.
03:16I don't know what she was writing,
03:18but I watched a double bill last week for his birthday.
03:21His birthday's in June.
03:22Is it?
03:24Oh, that little...
03:25Graham!
03:26Christine, it's a two-way street.
03:28He doesn't bother with me, I don't bother with him.
03:30We're both happy with that.
03:31Florence Nightingale was not just a nurse.
03:41My own dad didn't want to spend time with me
03:43and Anja called me a woman.
03:45But with double history, I could lose myself in ruffs and muffs.
03:49Alan, could you read Miss Nightingale's quote for us?
03:52The lady with the lamp.
03:57There she is.
04:00Isn't she just?
04:02Oh, being camp's like having B.O.
04:05The more you flap your arms around,
04:07the worse it gets.
04:08I needed to mask it.
04:10And quick.
04:11Oh, how about I try a spritz of odour sport?
04:27Christine.
04:29Don't look now.
04:31But he's just picked up chute.
04:34He's reading chute.
04:36What is this, spring watch?
04:39I didn't tell him to.
04:40Maybe he just went for it all by himself.
04:42Should I go in and talk to him?
04:47Maybe just let him get his bearings first, yeah?
04:53No, no, no.
04:57Oh, Jeremy.
04:59Christine, is there a chance that Alan's available tomorrow?
05:02Pip went over on her ankle,
05:03and we need someone for our country dancing event.
05:05I know it's last minute,
05:06but no one do-si-dos quite like Alan.
05:09Look, I don't think you'll have to ask him twice.
05:11Oh, that is music to my ears.
05:13Alan, Mr Butterworth's here.
05:15What's a word?
05:17There he is.
05:18My hero.
05:19You wouldn't step in last minute.
05:21Give us a couple of square sets tomorrow.
05:23Is this the devil himself tempting me?
05:25I love country dancing.
05:26No.
05:28He's playing hard to get.
05:29Alan, go and get your anki.
05:30I'm busy tomorrow.
05:32Since when?
05:32I'm going to watch The Cobblers with my dad.
05:35Are you?
05:36Oh, I...
05:37You'll have to try someone else.
05:39What about Felix?
05:40He loves country dancing,
05:41and he makes his own costumes.
05:42I tried, but he changed his name after the smear campaign.
05:46He's in a safe house in Rushton.
05:49Oh.
05:49Come on!
05:50Pop those plimsolls on for us!
05:52Look, Mr Butterworth, he said no.
05:54Now he's going to watch the football with his old man
05:55like every other boy his age,
05:57and he can find some other clown.
05:58This time tomorrow I will be chanting on the terraces
06:02for my team against...
06:04Are you playing again?
06:06Preston.
06:06Away.
06:07Preston away.
06:09Away?
06:10Yeah.
06:11Yeah, we're going to have to stay over.
06:13M6 on a Saturday.
06:14Forget it.
06:16But I'm going to miss my tap away party.
06:19Right, is everybody here?
06:21Here, Mum.
06:21Great.
06:23That's it, where's the boots?
06:24It's on my back.
06:26Let's go.
06:27Oi, oi!
06:28Don't forget about little old me.
06:30What are you doing here?
06:31I'm getting on the party bus, son.
06:33It's not a party bus, it's a team bus.
06:35Christ's sake, Nick, this game's important.
06:38I got a free pass.
06:39The wife's in hospital for a week,
06:41and I want to sample everything that...
06:43Where are we going?
06:45Preston.
06:47Away.
06:47And I want to sample everything that Preston away has to offer.
06:52Is that booze in that carrier?
06:55No.
06:55The lads need to focus.
06:57I promise you, Gray.
06:58You will not hear a peep out of me.
07:00Right.
07:06Right.
07:07Let's go.
07:07I've got three copies of Razzle,
07:09and 200 Lambert and Butler duty free.
07:11Who's with me?
07:14Read your book.
07:15This was it.
07:30Quality time.
07:31Just me, my dad, and all his other boys.
07:33His goalie, his strikers,
07:36and those ones that hang around in the middle.
07:37It's the Cobblers.
07:38It's the Cobblers.
07:39It's the Cobblers.
07:39Northampton Town.
07:40Don't.
07:47Seeing my dad get abused reminded me of school,
07:50but he didn't have a kindly dinner lady to come to his aid.
07:55Come on, Cobblers.
07:57Come on, Cobblers.
07:58Sit down, Adam. Sit down, Adam.
08:06Thanks for that.
08:12Showtime.
08:20Right, leave the nipples out. I'll check the score.
08:23Oh, C-fax.
08:25Come on, Northampton. Come on.
08:29Instant information.
08:31Well, if you were prepared to wait 15 minutes for the page to turn.
08:35Gary, you got me ashtray?
08:38And you better not be eating those crisps there for tonight.
08:42Well, come on. Hurry up, quick. It's the next one.
08:45It's the next one.
08:54Come on!
08:59Dad.
09:01Let's just go home.
09:02We're not coming back from 3-0. You might as well let bygones be bygones.
09:07Paddy, grab your spans.
09:08What are you talking about?
09:09Sit down.
09:11Right.
09:13Sud this for a game of monkeys.
09:15I'll see you in the bar.
09:18Alfie!
09:19Get a left box on the yellow card. Get him in his face. Wind him up.
09:23Blime, you losers!
09:25Now!
09:26Shut up!
09:34Oh, they got another one.
09:36Gosh!
09:374-0.
09:38He is not gonna be happy.
09:41Feels wrong having a party after that, doesn't it?
09:45Should we cancel it?
09:47Do you think we should?
09:49Oh, but we got all the stuff now.
09:52No.
09:53You know what?
09:54Your dad would want us to have a good time.
09:56He would.
09:57He'd say, you go and enjoy yourselves.
09:59Don't you worry about me.
10:02But if he asked, we cancelled it.
10:06Oh, that was awful.
10:09We've had it all booing.
10:12Man.
10:16Now I've got to spend a night in this dump.
10:25What is that?
10:26Portable potpourri.
10:28It's an essential.
10:29You never know when you might need to mask the smell of...
10:33feet.
10:35I need a beer.
10:36I will get my wallet, then.
10:38Oh, no, no, no.
10:39No, you're all right.
10:40I'll, er...
10:41I'll get one with the lads.
10:42Well, I'm one of your lads tonight, aren't I?
10:45We're meant to be spending quality time together.
10:51Yeah, we are.
10:53We are.
10:54Right, so, I've prepared 20 questions.
10:56I thought we could fill it out together.
10:58Compare and contrast.
11:00So, question one.
11:02Oh, this is really long.
11:04But, er...
11:05No.
11:06No, you're right.
11:07It'll be good to, er...
11:08To catch up.
11:09You know?
11:10Find out who your favourite female historical figure is.
11:14Er...
11:15I'll, er...
11:16I'll fill it in at the bar, and, er...
11:17I'll see you down there.
11:18Yeah.
11:41The perfect size for those on-the-go snacks.
11:43Gary, you're blocking my products, thank you.
11:45A handful of walnuts in there.
11:47A few cubes of cheese.
11:48You could fit two quarters of a sandwich top to toe.
11:50No, you couldn't.
11:51Yes, you could.
11:53Ladies.
11:54You open a packet of hobnobs.
11:55But you only want one.
11:56Who has one?
11:57You can have a pack of stale hobnobs on your hands.
12:00Or are you?
12:02Simply decant those hobbody knobs into a medium-sized tuck.
12:06Place the lid on like so.
12:08And they'll be keeping their crunch till Christmas.
12:10She's never getting a sandwich in there.
12:11I'll bugger your sandwiches, Marion.
12:12I'm talking about a bit of ham and lettuce, not a bloody rump steak.
12:14Anne, do you need to be on my puff for this?
12:16Matt, finish on the lids, ladies.
12:18Have a feel of that, Christine.
12:19And you, Marion.
12:23Oh.
12:24That is smooth.
12:25Smooth, innit?
12:26Smooth, that, yeah.
12:27Right.
12:28Question.
12:29No, you can't store wine in them.
12:32I've already got the ones with the red and the white lids.
12:34Yeah?
12:35What's the best deal you could do me for the blue?
12:38Now we're off, ladies.
12:39I know it sounds silly, but red, white and blue just makes me feel all patriotic.
12:42Do you know what, Christine?
12:44I do you two for one on the blue and I'll throw in a lemon squeezer.
12:47Have I got myself a deal?
12:50Deal.
12:51That is our first sale of the night, ladies.
12:54Woo!
12:55Oh, and you know what?
12:56Put me down for a round one.
12:58Because that would come in handy if I need to store something round, wouldn't it?
13:00Can you get your fingers out of that, please, Marion?
13:02You're making it all greasy.
13:03Do you know where that top would look good?
13:05Your bedroom floor.
13:06I've heard it.
13:07No.
13:08On a silky padded hanger.
13:11That's where I make my first meal.
13:13Silky padded hangers.
13:18Here's my card.
13:20You're a millionaire.
13:21What are you doing in this dump?
13:22I'm looking for a wife.
13:28I can see you're very excited to be the next Mrs Chalmers.
13:31So I want you to hold on to that thought while I go and siphon the python.
13:41Ah, another round for the lads, please, love.
13:44And one for yourself.
13:45And some crisps.
13:47Not that they deserve it.
13:49All bloody Nell.
13:51Aw, don't be too hard on them.
13:54Well, it's not just pints you're pulling in here.
13:56They keep putting the crisps too low.
14:01Have to bend down to get them.
14:03I have told them to move them, but...
14:07I think they should keep them where they are.
14:10I'm phoning them.
14:11What? No!
14:13No!
14:14It's just a bit of banter.
14:16Why? No!
14:17She started it!
14:19No, I'm going to phone ma'am, see how the party's going.
14:23Oh, great. That's great.
14:24Down to know if she's found anything for our milk, love.
14:28It's a bugger to keep moist.
14:37You alright, Christine?
14:38Yeah, just...
14:40just missing my Alan a bit.
14:42Where is he?
14:43Brownies.
14:44No, he's impressed him with his dad at the football.
14:46Staying overnight, they're not back till tomorrow.
14:48Well, Christine...
14:50Why didn't you say?
14:52Three words, ladies.
14:54P-I-P-A-D.
14:56You're outrageous!
14:58While the cat is around, the mask will slip into something more comfortable.
15:03Check out the quality of that pussycat bow, Diane.
15:06Does it wash?
15:07Does it?
15:08It's 100% polyester, that.
15:10New one.
15:12Duffled egg!
15:13Very delicate cup.
15:14Gary!
15:16Bed!
15:17No, we've got a bad egg!
15:19Show us that.
15:27Tell me everything.
15:29Who made the guest list?
15:30Oh, hello, love.
15:31You ain't missing a thing.
15:33Really boring.
15:35Proper damp squib.
15:37Sounds it.
15:39Oh, I wish I was there with you.
15:41Oh, I know, darling, I know.
15:43Listen, I saw the result on C-Fax.
15:45How is he?
15:47He's not himself.
15:49No.
15:50I bet he needs a cuddle.
15:51So that's what he needs.
15:52You know what?
15:53We're finishing up now, so...
15:55I'm going to give you a ring before I go to bed.
15:57What's your room number?
15:59Number?
16:00He's barely got a door.
16:01Never mind a number.
16:02All right then, darling.
16:03All right, see you later.
16:04Bye, Mum.
16:06I could hear in her voice she'd bought that raspberry Tupperware range.
16:10Will that woman ever learn?
16:13Oi, oi!
16:14Watch this, boys!
16:17Fire in your holes!
16:19Boom!
16:21Because it was a grenade, wasn't it?
16:23Did you see it?
16:24I clocked it and had her out.
16:26Because instead of saying fire in the hole,
16:28I said fire in your holes.
16:30Like in the bum.
16:31Boom!
16:32Let's get the party started, eh?
16:34I've had a drink.
16:36No, let's just go to bed.
16:38I'll pipe down, Adam.
16:39You're spoiling the moon.
16:41I'll take him up to bed.
16:43Oh.
16:44Only if you tuck me in after.
16:46Oh, God.
16:47This is getting very unsavoury.
16:50If I play my cards right, Adam.
16:52If I play my cards right.
16:56I'm trying to run down here.
16:57Over your nipple, unless you're buying me.
16:59OOPS
17:02OH!
17:07Oh, God!
17:08Shhh!
17:09He's speaking.
17:10All right, hang on.
17:11Hang on.
17:20They look nice on you, Chris.
17:21We're just trying on some bits.
17:25Go on, Nigel.
17:26Take them with you.
17:28Bloody hell, Chris.
17:30Actually, Nigel, can I have them back?
17:32No.
17:33I told you, Nigel, no boys allowed!
17:36Well, it sounds like you need a man in there.
17:38Keep your girls in check.
17:39Well, if you know of any big strong boys...
17:41Oh, God.
17:42Maybe it's time to let the fox into the chicken coop.
17:46What?!
17:48What?!
17:49No, no.
17:50No, Nigel, we've got to go.
17:52We've got bin bag Diane, she's stuck in a corset
17:55and we've got to cut her out.
17:57OK, well, I was just checking in.
18:01Yeah, OK, I'm off.
18:05I can see your eyes through the letterbox, Nigel.
18:09Right, I'd like to buy a drink for the best footballers in the league.
18:18When they get here.
18:19Oh!
18:20Alan, is there an Alan? Alan Carr?
18:23Adam Carr.
18:24Yeah, I'm Alan.
18:26I'm Alan.
18:27I'm Alan.
18:28I'm Alan!
18:29I'm Alan!
18:30I'm Alan!
18:31I'm Alan!
18:32I'm Alan!
18:33Ma'am?
18:34Oh, no, he's got to help me.
18:35It's not...
18:36It's not a witch's.
18:37Gary!
18:38I can't.
18:39I can't.
18:40I can't.
18:41I can't.
18:42I can't.
18:43I can't.
18:44What's all that now is?
18:45What's going on there?
18:46Mum's drinking tisana with a vase!
18:47Hey!
18:48What are you doing there?
18:49What are you doing there?
18:50Help!
18:51You're off to bed.
18:52Gary!
18:53Oh!
18:54Oh!
18:55I wish I'd have won, Alan.
19:10Look.
19:11You tried your best.
19:13And that crowd was harsh.
19:16You're not fat.
19:20Just a little bit chunky.
19:21Oh, fair, it's fair.
19:23You know, the fans pay their money.
19:25They see their team giving us a good kicking.
19:27They're going to want to celebrate.
19:29You can't take it personally.
19:31I mean, you can't, but you do.
19:33It's funny.
19:35I've always wanted you to be a footballer.
19:39But I'd hate for you to be called some of the names I get called.
19:45I mean, I can handle it. You know, I've got a thick skin,
19:47but you, you can.
19:49I don't know.
19:51I get called names all the time in school.
20:03Oh.
20:08What is he doing?
20:10He's, er...
20:12He's showing her his padded hanger.
20:19Oh.
20:21Dad?
20:22Yeah?
20:23What did that man say?
20:24What man?
20:25You know, at the football match when we got promoted.
20:28I know it's over a year ago, but I've always wanted to ask.
20:32What did he say?
20:34Well...
20:35You know, there's a...
20:37There's a lot of people at a football game.
20:39Alan...
20:41Can't remember them all.
20:43Oh, but...
20:44You punched him.
20:46I saw you.
20:47We scored.
20:48And then you punched him.
20:50What did he say that was so bad?
20:52Was it...
20:55Was it something about me?
20:57I don't remember, son.
20:59Get some sleep.
21:00I do remember him.
21:10That man.
21:15I shouldn't have punched him.
21:16I know that.
21:17But...
21:19What he said...
21:24Couldn't have it.
21:26Alan...
21:27I couldn't...
21:28Have him talking about you like that.
21:30Or saying you were a...
21:37Oh, he still can't even say it.
21:38At least my son's not gay!
21:40Sticks in my throat.
21:48Right, and your old man's soft here.
21:51And we wanted to apologise.
21:53Which is...
21:54No mean feat.
21:55What do you say?
21:57Feet?
21:58Yeah, it does smell like feet.
21:59It's like sleeping in a moccasin.
22:08Goodnight, son.
22:11Night, Dad!
22:13Sweet dreams, kiddo.
22:14But you'll never stop me from loving you.
22:21It doesn't really matter what you put me through.
22:25You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:31Oh, oh, oh.
22:33You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:37Wherever you can go, I will follow you.
22:40You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:41You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:42You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:43You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:44You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:45You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:46You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:47You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:48You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:49You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:50You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:51You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:52You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:53You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:54You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:55You'll never stop me from loving you.
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