- 9 hours ago
Emmerdale - Season 54 Episode 220 -
Monday 24th November 2025
Monday 24th November 2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00This is you, full bed and board, as promised.
00:29Oh, don't worry about that, I'll get you a fresh wine.
00:34You alright there, Ted? You take as long as you need. A couple of hours at least.
00:42Where is she?
00:44Anne?
00:45Anya.
00:46Anya, sorry. She's gone to the mortuary, hasn't she? While we sort out the formalities.
00:52The funeral?
00:54Yeah, that.
00:56You're gonna do it properly and treat her with respect.
01:01Of course. Don't you worry about that, Ted. Leave it with me.
01:05And, erm, I'll see if I can contact the family.
01:09See if they wanna send, er, flowers or...
01:12No, they're under, er, a wreath from me. You can take out my wages.
01:20Of course, mate.
01:23You finished the jam again?
01:24I just really like jam, innit?
01:26Yeah, I realise. So don't put the empty jam jar in the cupboard.
01:30Look, remember there's a system, yeah?
01:32Yeah. We'll write it on the bath behind the fridge.
01:34Exactly.
01:43It's half coming.
01:45Got your coffee and, er, this.
01:48Heart healthy.
01:49What's up?
01:50So, I know I gave you a hard time about the whole money thing, but now that you're flush again, you're gonna treat yourself, right?
02:00What?
02:02Keep enough money back for you.
02:03You might need specialist care.
02:05I, I just, I want you to have the best of the best.
02:09Which is why you should probably tell me your secret location, you know, cover all bases.
02:13I don't care about the money.
02:16Okay.
02:18Sorry, I'm just, mega stressed.
02:22About the robbery?
02:23No, no.
02:24Sorry.
02:25Okay.
02:27My head.
02:29Going west.
02:32Having thoughts.
02:33Thoughts?
02:34Well, I'm sorry, I, I can't do this now, I've got to split.
02:37Yeah, well, okay, go back to yours.
02:38No, I'm gonna go into town.
02:40Play the slots.
02:41Oh, cool.
02:44I just...
02:46I hate being lied to.
02:48Sorry?
02:49Beat me at pool.
02:50Slug off United.
02:51Punch me in the face as hard as you can.
02:53Just...
02:55Don't lie to me.
03:04Hey!
03:05Ah!
03:06Slow morning on the combines?
03:08Well, I don't actually drive them myself.
03:10Mm-hmm.
03:11I like to imagine it though.
03:12It muses me.
03:13I was in the middle of a very boring meeting and I thought, I need some Laurel in my life.
03:16Ah, is that Laurel who makes excellent coffee or is that Laurel who has a daughter crawling with knits?
03:22Oh, by the way, she's fine this morning, infestation free.
03:25You know who to call her, right?
03:26Yeah, I know who to call.
03:28Anyway, that rather excellent coffee?
03:31Yeah.
03:32And I have a squash brownie that I won't be able to sell.
03:35My treat.
03:36Hmm.
03:37You swore on me.
03:41Moira, it's me.
03:42Oh, come in.
03:43Stick the kettle on.
03:44I'm just having a bit of a clear out.
03:47Ah.
03:48Charity shop.
03:50Bin or keep.
03:52Are you planning a Kayleigh or a Braveheart tribute?
03:56Charity shop it is then.
03:58I, er...
04:01I had a visitor.
04:03Kim Tate.
04:04Oh, really?
04:05Mm-hmm.
04:06She rocked up unannounced to do a property inspection.
04:10The cheek of the woman.
04:12I sent her on her way.
04:13Oh.
04:14Would have loved to have seen that.
04:16Ah.
04:17Latest contract.
04:18It'll take more than Kim Tate to see us off.
04:21We make a great team.
04:28Where were you this morning?
04:35Leaving.
04:36It's Dad.
04:39I'll be there next shift.
04:43Well, tell him.
04:45Eh?
04:47Your little girlfriend.
04:50She's in there.
04:52She's in the feast, yes.
04:53Postman's just dumped her.
04:56She said she was in watery.
05:00There were gonna be a funeral, eh?
05:03I promised.
05:16Ray!
05:19Ray!
05:21It'll just be the washer, Sam.
05:23There's nothing to do with a tap.
05:24We've got it.
05:25Bleak in you, Ben.
05:26Ah!
05:27Right.
05:28Why don't we be really radical and call a plumber?
05:30I'll pay him with what?
05:31Some sleet and some massed yeast?
05:33We're broke.
05:37It'll be the washer again.
05:39It's not the flaming washer.
05:41Get yourself out of there.
05:42Let me clear you some space.
05:43Oh, give over.
05:44I'm doing it.
05:45There's mouse killer and all sorts in there.
05:46Well, I'm not a mouse, so I guess I'll be alright.
05:48Let me.
05:49Come on.
05:50Right, budge over.
05:51Nothing!
05:55What's that?
05:57Nothing.
05:58My dear.
06:00We're gonna find out anyway.
06:01I'm telling you, he's definitely on to us.
06:14He was proper intense.
06:15Did he actually accuse you?
06:16No.
06:17Not as such.
06:18He's just being paranoid.
06:19The guy's got a sword.
06:20If he suspected anything, you'd know about it.
06:22So what did he mean then?
06:23I don't know.
06:24He's unhinged.
06:25I suppose we'll look out.
06:32I don't have a bit of computer on my help.
06:34It was close.
06:46Well, Kev's room's clear and all these are full of Bibles and old lady gobbins.
06:53Then we need to widen the radius and start thinking clever.
06:57Or you just let me drag it out of him.
07:00It was a joke.
07:01But if we do actually wanna be together, we need to find that bag and stick to the plan.
07:07Hey, Ted!
07:13I'm not giving you enough work to do.
07:15What's that then?
07:17Our news.
07:18It's our news.
07:19I took it from my body.
07:20Ah, Ted.
07:21Listen.
07:22Now, you said you promised.
07:23Let me explain.
07:24I found her in the shed, thrown against the wall.
07:26Now, you said that you were gonna sort it.
07:28That she was gonna have a proper funeral.
07:30Yes, I did.
07:31And...
07:32Yeah, but you just treated her like rubbish.
07:34You lied to me.
07:35Easy, fella.
07:36Don't take that tone.
07:38I know she meant note to you, but she was just a young girl.
07:41And this were her daughters and all she wanted was to get home to her.
07:44But you...
07:45You, you treated her like an animal.
07:47That is enough.
07:48No, worse than an animal.
07:50You wouldn't do to a dog what you did to her!
07:53It's not stolen.
07:55In case you were thinking.
07:56I wasn't.
07:58I've been collecting.
08:00Saving.
08:01Spare bits of change.
08:02Emptying pockets before the wash.
08:04It's amazing.
08:05If you keep it long enough, it all mounts up.
08:07Saving for what?
08:08I mean, if it's something we need...
08:09Yeah, we could have all chipped in.
08:11I was worried you'd think it'd be a waste of money.
08:13What was?
08:15Well, come on.
08:16A cruise to the Caribbean?
08:17A robot hoover?
08:19Just tell us.
08:20There's this special concert in Leeds.
08:23Jess and Donovan's playing.
08:25Aw.
08:26Teenage heartthrob.
08:27I wanted to get us VIP tickets as a surprise.
08:30Meet and greet, goodie bag, complimentary champagne.
08:33Well, you still can.
08:34I can't.
08:35The tickets went on sale this morning.
08:37I didn't manage to scrape enough together in time.
08:41It wasn't my fault she died.
08:43All I did was try and help her.
08:46Boss.
08:47What are you doing?
08:48I'm telling you the truth, Ted.
08:50I'm telling you the truth.
08:51We're friends, right?
08:52And this is how you show your gratitude.
08:55Please.
09:01I'm sorry.
09:03I'm sorry.
09:04It's just I'm the other.
09:07The whole thing.
09:11Get out!
09:13Out!
09:17You are not yourself, Ted.
09:19You are not yourself.
09:22And I get it.
09:23Because you feel, you feel partly responsible.
09:25Yes.
09:26Maybe there was something else you could have done.
09:29I asked you for medicine.
09:31Well, it was already too late by then.
09:33I am so sorry that you had to go through that, Ted.
09:37But I laid her out.
09:38I laid her out all nicely while I made the arrangements.
09:42Yeah.
09:43Not, not thrown against the wall.
09:45No.
09:46No.
09:47Someone else must have moved her.
09:48Because obviously I'm going to bury her properly.
09:51You are?
09:53Yes.
09:54But these things don't happen overnight.
09:55They take time.
09:57Well, where will it be, the funeral?
10:00I mean, she didn't know anyone except us, so it should be local.
10:06Yes, good point.
10:08So I could come?
10:10I don't know.
10:12You might be working.
10:13I'm having the time off.
10:15I've never asked you for anything before.
10:17I don't matter what it takes.
10:20I'm coming.
10:21I'm coming.
10:38Oh!
10:40Ray, do you actually do any work?
10:42Well, I'm on a field visit.
10:45It seems to have a lot of farm machinery business, this neck of the woods.
10:49Well, there's this lovely woman who keeps foisting cakes on me.
10:53What's a bloke to do?
10:55Um, I'm just going to go and speak to my mum.
10:58Sorry.
10:59Oh, hi.
11:02Problem.
11:03I'm having a pattern.
11:04If you weren't so distracted by the local...
11:06Nothing to do with Laurel.
11:08The old man found the dead girl.
11:10What?
11:11Yeah, I had to stick her in the feed shed.
11:13Well, that was stupid, even for you.
11:15Well, she needed movie.
11:16He proper lost it when she died.
11:18He was crying like a baby.
11:19You let him make a scene?
11:21Well, I didn't want to punish him.
11:22We're one step away from rebellion.
11:24Anyway, I took my way out of it.
11:26So we were keeping her in there till the, uh, well, the funeral.
11:32Funeral?
11:33Yes.
11:34And now he thinks he's coming.
11:35I'll feed him some excuse, but, uh, he's dead set.
11:40Actually, you don't need to feed him anything.
11:44Me?
11:45If he wants a funeral, he can have a funeral.
11:47I should have thought of this before.
11:48Hopefully, I am not too late.
11:51Meet me later.
11:52Bring the old man and the body.
11:54I will drop you a pin.
12:00Oi!
12:02Service.
12:03Don't oi me.
12:05But, um, seeing as we're quiet...
12:08What can I get for you, Kevin?
12:10Well, I'm assuming that's your full name.
12:12Like, Saint Kevin, who lived as a Herbert.
12:14There's a saint called Kevin.
12:16Oh, I think there's a saint for pretty much everyone.
12:18My namesake was hung, drawn and quartered for high treason.
12:21Stole me.
12:23Anyway, um, what about a hot drink of your choice
12:25and a muffin for a special price of £5?
12:28Right, I'll have a, er, um, chamomile tea, please.
12:33You know, you don't have milk or sugar with that.
12:35Oh.
12:36Right, I can, er, try something new if I want, can't I?
12:39And you keep banging on about how nice it is, so...
12:42I'm glad you listened to my recommendations.
12:45You can go now.
12:47But, um...
12:48I'll close up. It's the rules when someone's been off sick.
12:50Read the staff handbook.
12:51There's a staff handbook?
12:52Go on then, chop chop.
12:54Go and get my coat.
12:56It's probably fine, I just thought you might need saving.
12:58I was very thoughtful of you.
13:00That's my middle name.
13:01Yeah.
13:02So nothing to do with the fact that you know he's my son then, no?
13:07Moira, it's me again.
13:09Just, er, wondering if you'd sign the contract.
13:12Oh, er, just give me a wee minute.
13:14Er, sorry.
13:16I should have left it till after tea time.
13:18Most stressful part of the day, apparently.
13:20Well, depends if you've got a bottle open.
13:22Oh, don't tempt me.
13:25I, er...
13:28I have to go into town.
13:30The dentists.
13:31I can take that lot for you if you fancy it.
13:33Oh, no, don't worry about it.
13:34It's no bother.
13:35I pass at least a dozen charity shops on my way in.
13:38Do you have any preference?
13:40Huh?
13:41Dogs, donkeys, starving orphans.
13:43Ha!
13:44No, you pick.
13:45I trust you.
13:46Oh, cool.
13:47Thanks.
13:48Bye.
13:53That's why you were hanging around like a bad smell
13:55while I was talking to Lewis about Emma, innit?
13:57You don't want a kid, Kev.
13:58Yeah, I do.
13:59Why?
14:00I take him fishing.
14:02He hates fishing.
14:03Probably.
14:04If it's killing innocent creatures.
14:06Chuck him back, don't you?
14:07He's got a perfectly good dad already.
14:09The one who adopted him.
14:10Yeah, well, I hate his blood.
14:11You're also a dying man.
14:13I'm sorry to be blunt, but what is the point in a big family reunion
14:16if your heart could seize up any minute?
14:18It's selfish, if you ask me.
14:20Selfish and irresponsible and cruel.
14:22You can't talk to me like that.
14:24I just did.
14:25What are you going to do about it?
14:26Oh, act like a nutter, like you do with everyone else.
14:29Give it your best shot.
14:30You won't scare me.
14:41I thought I were coming to the funeral.
14:59This is it.
15:00The DIY version.
15:01Here?
15:02Your friend Anya didn't have any papers, remember?
15:05She's not entitled to a registered grave.
15:08But you...
15:09I thought we could swing it, Ted.
15:11But it turns out you can have a dead body and nobody cares.
15:16So we are going to do our very best for her.
15:20Give her the send off she deserves.
15:23Yes.
15:24Would you...
15:27Would you like to pick a spot?
15:37Go.
15:51Here.
15:54This looks good.
15:55Two hundred and twenty-seven pounds.
15:58And...
15:5934p.
16:00It's just like Lydia said.
16:02So how much is she short by then?
16:06Ten pounds sixty-six.
16:09And then she would have had enough for tickets?
16:11Yeah, but it's pointless, Sam, cos they're sold out, aren't they?
16:13Let me just check, actually.
16:15Ten pounds sixty-six.
16:17It's like two pints and a bag of scratchings.
16:20No way.
16:21They're releasing a load more VIP tickets tomorrow.
16:23We've got time.
16:24Oh-ho-ho!
16:25Yes!
16:26Right.
16:27Yeah, what have I got?
16:29One fifty.
16:30And me lucky bottle top.
16:31She's not having that.
16:32Hmm.
16:33Bet she's not checked soap, eh?
16:35Oh, schoolgirl, eh, eh?
16:36I knew it.
16:37I've got ten pounds!
16:38Oh!
16:39Two twenty-seven thirty-four.
16:40Was that right?
16:41Bang on.
16:42Oh, well.
16:43It's always next time.
16:44Yeah, well, we'll probably need it for bills before long, anyway.
16:47I wish things had gone better and worked out the way you'd hoped.
16:48I was glad of you.
16:49You were kind.
16:50You were kind.
16:51You looked out for me.
16:52I looked out for you.
16:53I looked out for you.
16:54Not so much.
16:55Not so much.
16:56I looked out for you.
16:57Not so much.
16:58No, I'm sorry.
16:59It's always next time.
17:00Yeah, well, we'll probably need it for bills before long, anyway.
17:05I wish things had gone better.
17:08Worked out the way you'd hoped.
17:11I was glad of you.
17:13You were kind.
17:16You looked out for me.
17:19I looked out for you.
17:22Not so well as it turned out.
17:25I'm so sorry.
17:29I wish it'd been me that I'd been taken.
17:43Through each life, some rain must fall, but too much is falling.
17:52In mine, into each heart, some tears must fall, but someday the sun will shine.
18:05Some folk can lose the blues in their heart.
18:11It was when I think of you.
18:12It was when I think of you.
18:14Another shower stout into each life.
18:20It was a rain, a swamp, but too much is falling.
18:26But too much is falling.
18:29In mine.
18:31It was lovely, Ted.
18:35It was lovely, Ted.
18:44My pal.
18:47My bright shining girl.
18:52Sleep tight, my love.
18:54We're closing.
18:55I've nearly finished mopping and you're still lingering.
19:04Yeah.
19:06Okay.
19:07What don't you understand?
19:10Lewis might be your biological son, but that doesn't give you a right to play daddy.
19:15Yeah, but I am his dad.
19:16It wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me.
19:18It's a shame you didn't have this burning sense of responsibility 23 years ago.
19:21Where were you then?
19:22You know where I was?
19:23Prison.
19:24Exactly.
19:25Leaving Emma no choice than to have him adopted.
19:27She was the one that grasped me to the old bill.
19:29She's the one that got me sent down.
19:30No, Kev.
19:31You got yourself sent down by being a raging criminal.
19:35I wouldn't be surprised if it was you that robbed that pawn shop.
19:40Oh, my God.
19:41And you're wondering why I don't want the lad to having anything to do with you?
19:44It was a one-off.
19:45I needed a cash injection.
19:46You are immoral and deluded.
19:48Yeah, I bet you're only interested in Lewis so that you can train him off as an accompli.
19:51Oh.
19:52Hiya.
19:53Kev.
19:55What?
19:56Are you talking about me?
19:57No.
19:58No.
19:59Okay.
20:00Kev was asking about cleaning work.
20:02But I thought you had a dicky ticker.
20:03Well, that's just what I said.
20:04What are you doing back anyway?
20:05Oh, at the snuff handbook.
20:06I looked through the driver.
20:07I couldn't find it.
20:08Don't you think as co-owner I should have-
20:10Oh, Kev, you're looking a bit pale.
20:12Are you alright?
20:13No.
20:14Go and get him a chamomile tea.
20:16Go on, quick.
20:20How much do you care?
20:21That's the question.
20:22Because if you've really got his best interests at heart,
20:25you'd leave him in peace.
20:27That's what being a proper dad means.
20:37Well, you made an old man very happy.
20:40He'd be happier if she was alive.
20:45What was with the blanket?
20:51Did you have a sudden tender moment?
20:54I'm touched.
20:55It wasn't sentiment.
20:56Hmm?
20:57We just buried a body.
20:58Cheers.
20:59Cheers.
21:00Cheers.
21:01The blanket.
21:02It was Moira's.
21:03She has a body wrapped in her DNA in a shallow grave on her own farmland.
21:08And there was me thinking you actually had a heart.
21:09She's my neighbour, my business partner, and now, thanks to a ratty old blanket, she's our
21:23insurance against ever getting caught.
21:24And there was me thinking you actually had a heart.
21:28She's my neighbour, my business partner, and now, thanks to a ratty old blanket, she's our insurance against ever getting caught.
21:38MUSIC PLAYS
21:55MUSIC PLAYS
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