The Creep Tapes Season 2 Episode 2

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00:00four years of film school for this shit yep two hundred thousand dollars in debt and now you get

00:26to film another shitty pilot presentation for another fucking house flipping show

00:29god what a fucking loser kill me

00:39hello

00:56you're too late i already sold it you scared me there's no reason to be scared there's always

01:18another home right around the corner just waiting to be flipped i'm tripping gold and you must be wes

01:25yes

01:26look at you yeah you got a really good energy about you but you seem like a real professional

01:36oh right uh yes i i uh i brought my transcript for your request and then also my degree in

01:43cinematography there's no need i already called the university and vetted you i'm sorry to be such

01:48a stickler on the hiring process but professionalism is very important to me wes

01:52how do you feel about it uh about what

01:58professionalism

02:01i'm uh for it and i think it's the single most important quality a human being can possess

02:09i think the lack of it is the reason our society has gone off the rails don't you agree

02:12uh yeah uh totally of course permission to hug okay coming in any okay okay i hope you ready to get

02:22going because we are gonna make magic the first scene for the pilot of the greatest house flipping

02:28show ever made flipped and sold with trip and gold okay are you rolling i'm rolling okay that's a

02:35problem because i know you're not rolling i know this camera and when it's rolling the red light is

02:38beeping and it's not beeping right now wes

02:39uh no no you're not rolling west look look look i'm i'm rolling look the red light is on just

02:46take a look you're lying to me i swear take a look at it man

02:53i don't see it

02:56i don't

02:59i got you i got you yeah i know you got me professionalism wes the single most important

03:06quality followed closely by a good sense of humor okay you're all right wes

03:14i think this is gonna be a good day

03:36you know you did a really great job filming that intro back there wes

03:53oh uh thanks 100 total pro

03:56are you gonna tell me how i did um i i thought you were great really yeah

04:11i mean so much coming from you i really want to get this right so many of these house flipping shows

04:16they're just janky you know and and not just the filmmaking the flips themselves they're downright

04:21unethical you know they ignore the fundamental issues of the homes the plumbing the the electrical

04:26and they think what could you slap some 22 cents subway tile on it that it's a good flip i don't

04:31think so i don't think so yeah uh yeah totally yeah you get it man you're so great

04:39so i think now would be a good time to get some b-roll you know i see this as the second part of the

04:43pilot where some kind of funky music's playing and i'm explaining to audiences that we're we're headed

04:48off to a remote section of the woods we're going to see this dilapidated kind of creepy home which

04:53spoiler alert of course is going to be somebody's dream home but right now it's like almost looks

04:59like a place you get murdered in you know so yeah look around get some stuff okay

05:09that's just some tools of the trade i like to carry a shovel to

05:12dig into the foundation make sure it's solid right um and the uh with the plastic tarp

05:23you ask a lot of questions well like you said i'm a professional

05:33plastic tarp is for some painting we're gonna do

05:35also occasionally find some uh dead vermin underneath the house and plastic's always good

05:42for carrying out bodies

05:47that makes sense yeah totally um yeah

05:56um could you remind me again where we're going yeah it's just uh about 20 minutes up ahead here

06:03getting there right um what what what's the address why do you need the address i'm just uh curious

06:16you're squirmy little bugger look at you you're shaking over there

06:20yeah i i i think i i think i need to go to the bathroom oh well there's not many rest stops out

06:25here not much of anything but you know you can just wait till we get to the house i'm i'm just not

06:29i'm not sure if i could hold it well it's really close you're fine right it's it's number one so

06:34maybe maybe you could pull over real quick no there's no shoulder on the road i wouldn't want

06:38anything bad to happen i know i just i just i really i really really gotta go came on kind of

06:43suddenly yeah man i don't know i just uh i can't um i don't know can you i just can you pull over

06:50please no i can't do it because it's dangerous how do you i know please stop i just really gotta go how

06:55do you open this thing oh fine you gotta go you gotta go whoa not very professional wes

07:07jesus

07:10all right

07:22so real bummer wes

07:25not only is this unprofessional it's downright anti-climactic

07:35i mean i spent a lot of time in that house

07:40it's a house of horrors the likes of which we haven't seen since climax of home alone 2.

07:48oh no

07:53please don't tell me you're gonna make it this easy

07:55it's okay it's okay this is just a little confusing is all i mean i'm confused you know

08:06it's all happening a lot faster than it normally does

08:15i mean

08:17part of me wants to stretch it out you know like

08:19put your around a little bit i could chase you some more but also another part of me is like

08:27this feels kind of sad

08:29that's sad please i just

08:37yeah

08:38i could do this all over

08:49i'm gonna play my calendar tomorrow find someone else a little more professional

08:56oh my god didn't even come close to using you sorry pf not your night

09:12maybe it's me maybe i'm getting rusty it's on to me so quickly

09:23too many clues in the back seat maybe i wonder if i put the tarp

09:30yeah just the tarp in the back and then save the shovel the big reveal of the house might be a

09:37thing

09:54yes thank god step away from the car thank god thank god

10:00hands on your head yes you got them more yeah but look look what happened look look hands on your

10:07head yes we got a male 20s unconscious he's not unconscious he's dead it's my sweet lesson that

10:16man killed him oh god he's in the woods and he's getting away get down on the ground right now

10:22you don't understand okay all right okay okay you guys are great you're great and you're very in

10:30command and you're doing a great job but you're missing one very important thing there is a man

10:35a killer who killed my friend who killed my friend and he is in the woods who are you talking about sir i

10:41don't know okay i'm i'm sorry i'm just so stupid i don't get his name tell us what happened step by

10:51steps or okay but it's really scary

10:58there was a man he was a bad man but he didn't seem like it he he was a little weird and hyper but but he

11:07seemed harmless and he hired me and wes my filmmaking partner to film this pilot for this really

11:15interesting new house flipping type show you know and he had a cool take it was like

11:24integrity and professionalism and sir please get to the point yes i'm sorry it's so

11:31so are you okay i feel like i'm in a horror movie is this real are you even real sorry i'm sorry

11:45he put us in the car and he drove us out into these woods and there was like

11:51all these weird things started happening like i looked in the back and there was a shovel and

11:55there was a plastic tarp and then i looked at wes and i was like this is weird right and then

12:03wes is really smart and he was like sir i have to go to the bathroom and these guys like no you

12:08can't go to the bathroom we're almost to the house it was like i really have to pee and he's like no

12:13and so wes just bolted out of the car and he ran in that direction and i ran in that direction

12:17and the guy he just chased wes instead and he killed him and he and i feel guilty that i'm alive but he's

12:25not but but then i got but wait wait i'm not finished hold on that's when i got really brave

12:35and i jumped on his back and i whacked him with the shovel like two times really hard and he started

12:40wobbling he was like get up okay stay down stay down right but he was wobbling away and so i said

12:49i just gotta grab wes and put him in the car and take him to the police and that's when you showed up

12:53why didn't you just call us because there's no cell phone get her hands out of your pockets stop yelling

13:01at me like i'm the bad guy i'm the good one here the bad guy is out in the woods and you are wasting

13:08your time here with me i promise you i'll stay here i'll be a little well-behaved nugget so have

13:14you used any substances no i haven't used any substances please one of you i'm begging you you

13:19or you go in the woods he could be out please go check it out thank you so thank you on the ground

13:33and just wait here yes okay i will he's wearing a black button-up shirt and silk black pants

13:40i'll take care of it sir make sure you get the right one dispatch uh this is officer marr i'm

13:45out on old hut road i need backup we have an incident out here about uh 50 yards off the turnout

13:54thank you so much listen officer i have a question it's totally okay if this is a no but my knees are

14:00really just barking at me is it okay if i just sit like crisscross applesauce sir that is thank you

14:06oh thank you so much thank you it's fine sir good at your job and kind too i hope your friends doing

14:13okay out there this guy is really dangerous i mean i think he could be a an actual serial killer

14:21the the the poise the charisma he's just a real professional please be quiet sorry

14:34copy

14:37is that backup calling in sorry none of my business

14:45good thing for backup though right

14:50did you always know you wanted to be a cop that that's personal i'm sorry i'm just curious about

15:09the the whole process you know it's such an important job you gotta be really good at it so

15:15do they vet you is it like a really long school can anybody become a cop so many people's lives in

15:24your hands you know it's like airline pilots you know you're just like okay he's flying us around i

15:30i hope he's competent

15:48i know i'm talking a lot just two more quick things first i'm so sorry i was such a crazy person earlier

15:53i'm together now and secondly thank you thank you for showing up and and being so good at your job

16:01there's no one out there yeah yeah but i did find some blood and some evidence of a scuffle

16:09for sure so let's not lie about that not lie what you think i thought i was lying we don't know what

16:17happened here sir all we know is that we found you dragging a dead body in a sheet of plastic heading

16:22towards your car it's his car not my car okay but you're the only person out here and we have

16:30a responsibility to go with only the evidence we have so west west you're alive easy easy back away

16:40sir back away sit down you okay you're okay buddy you're okay sir we need you to be quiet so that we

16:48could ask your friends some questions okay okay slowly look take it slow take it slow okay so we've

16:53got you we've got you we've got you we've got you we've got you easy breaths easy breaths okay

17:01sir are you okay i don't i don't know i i don't sir i'm a police officer i'm here to help

17:09i can't i'm sorry i can't really see you like i'm who are you i'm a police officer i'm here to help

17:18you are yeah you are oh my god oh my god thank you thank you where is he where where is that horrible

17:28man which man which man who are you talking about the killer the killer he he's wearing a black button

17:34up shirt with some black pants and he's so evil he he's so evil he he he he he said he was a real

17:44estate agent and he wanted to make a video for some stupid house show and then he chased me into

17:51the woods and then he tried to kill me with the shovel okay okay all right sir oh wow that's a lot of

18:05blood oh shit we need to get him to a hospital okay all right wait wait you're not finished questioning

18:14him yet though no no get him in the hop get him to the hospital just take him in take him i got him here

18:19here we go here we go follow me sir sir we need you to back away you're okay okay come on come on come

18:28sir follow us to the hospital okay yes and then we'll continue the question yeah yeah yeah yeah

18:49are you serious

19:00sir sir sir what are you doing get back in the car follow us directly to the hospital i have to talk to

19:07you about something get back in your car it's gonna be a bit uncomfortable but it's very very

19:14important i don't know it's your time man we don't have time we have somebody i know get him to the

19:21hospital okay we gotta get there yeah i know we gotta get there sir what are you doing thank you

19:31you have to follow us to the hospital turn around here so we can turn around

19:36what i wanted to tell you is that you're incredibly unprofessional

19:51you guys should not be letting people like me go it's so disappointing you're supposed to protect us

20:11i don't know maybe it's me oh maybe i'm just getting old

20:23it's like all we're shooting for is just a b minus

20:38everybody gets a trophy you know sure everybody gets a trophy

20:41you get a trophy you get a trophy you get a trophy everybody gets a trophy

21:02time 42

21:11so

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