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00:00You
00:10This is the beginning of a gender war. It's a sign. I'm the doe. So I'm there and you're on a bus. Prue knows something.
00:18Okay, we'll go to the party. We'll find out what they know. If I win, you'll tell us who the
00:22is Kay Blanchett, Scott and Lyle both broke up with her. Wait, where's Barbara? Barbara! Barbara!
00:29I'm the doe. Not without your buck. Stretch, you have your doe?
00:32I'm doing this for you!
00:36Come on.
00:52Come on. Get up.
01:05Come on.
01:21Officer Sheppard!
01:29Yeah!
01:35So how often do you sleep at home, Bebe? Am I okay to call you Bebe?
01:47No.
01:49Hey, does my nose look infected to you?
01:51Oh, Elise, gross.
01:54The process in a breakup, a social rejection, I get it. Anyway, back to the investigation.
01:59Kay Blanchett, the improver, not the Oscar winner.
02:02So, Prue said Kay was dumped spectacularly by both Lyle and Scott.
02:06So what I think we do is join the dramatic society,
02:09re-friend her, get a confession.
02:11Also, a little birdie told me you used to dabble in youth theatre.
02:15Oh, my God. Why are you so fixated on my family?
02:19It's just what friends do.
02:21I want to know everything about you.
02:24Your mama's right. You are a stalker.
02:27I should go.
02:28The killer left the tip of a penis in our tip-off box late last night, and they also left this.
02:43Now, the med advisor said that unless it's reattached in the next 36 hours, then there's no point.
02:47So they were alive when it was removed?
02:50According to forensics, yeah, so time is of the essence.
02:52Now, I want some more information on this Donna Kebab person.
02:56There's no info to give, sir.
02:58Donna Janacic is a second-year law student, and the men on this campus are pulling a prank.
03:07I don't get it.
03:08Donna Kebab.
03:09Essentially, they're implying she's a quick fix at the end of the night, and you might regret it in the morning.
03:13Yeah, it's bullshit, slut-shaming, and it doesn't make her a suspect.
03:16But she did sleep with the first two victims.
03:18Well, and at least 30 other men, if we're to believe the rappers, right?
03:22But it's probably hearsay, and I don't know whether we should be wasting our time on it.
03:25I can't do this.
03:26She could be a scorned lover. That gives us motive.
03:28Excuse me, there's a man bleeding to death.
03:31I know.
03:32Hey.
03:33Hi.
03:34Yeah, we can't stay for long. As the new doe, I have to support the team while they find Rory's replacement.
03:50Hopefully not another incel.
03:52Rory and I are so over.
03:56I just wanted to say that I am really sorry about last night.
04:03Barbara, you don't have to pay us off with gifts.
04:08Is that the Microskin Mineral Blush?
04:10What? The one you can only get in South Korea?
04:12Yes. Their team liked my content.
04:15I guess we're fine, but just, like, no more weird shit, okay?
04:24No more weird shit.
04:26Okay.
04:27Well, we should go.
04:28All right, well, that's really cute.
04:30No, they're not. They're nasty.
04:31They did be...
04:32Uh...
04:33Okay, you don't say that.
04:45Hi. I'd like to join your club.
04:55Oh, sorry, British. We're full.
04:57But you know what isn't?
04:59Our studio audience for tonight's sketch, Zoom-tacular.
05:02Elise.
05:05Bad news.
05:06She's at it again.
05:07Hello, Chrissy.
05:08What, you got one in your cubicle, too?
05:10Yeah, you got a penis tip in your cubicle.
05:13What?
05:15Oh, this is bad.
05:17This is worse.
05:18Jenny knows.
05:19She's not that smart.
05:21Is she?
05:22Ladies.
05:23After internal chats, we've managed to make room for one more.
05:26The Beano.
05:27The what?
05:28Big name on campus.
05:29I'm only in if Elise is too.
05:31No, he could have been talking about me.
05:33I wasn't, and your nose is bleeding.
05:38Thanks for getting me in.
05:39I can take it from here.
05:41The killer's at it again, and we have less than three hours to find her
05:44and take her to the cops before Jenny turns us in.
05:46I think we should stick together.
05:47Fine.
06:00Hello, ladies.
06:01Everybody, this is Barbara and her friend.
06:04Kay, you're all good if we give your scene to Barbarino.
06:06Of course.
06:07If she can play it with the gravitas it deserves.
06:11This will be you, Barbarino.
06:13Don't worry, I'll be your scene partner.
06:17We can take it wherever we want.
06:19Respect and consent are key.
06:20I'm not performing.
06:21Hey, don't stress.
06:23Don't stress.
06:24I'll be naked too.
06:25And I've done intimacy training.
06:27Yeah, because that's the only way he'll ever get any.
06:32So, Babylonia.
06:34The rules of the group are simple.
06:35You've always got to say yes, and how about fuck no?
06:42You're Kay Blanchett.
06:45You're familiar with my oeuvre.
06:47Yes, I'm a big, big fan.
06:53You know, I'm always trying to get more girls involved.
06:56Boys won't let you?
06:58Oh, not at all.
06:59It's just that a lot of them don't have what it takes.
07:02No pretty girls.
07:04No talent.
07:08You're giving quirk and main character.
07:10Do you get that a lot?
07:12No.
07:13No.
07:14Not ever.
07:15Um, wow.
07:16But, um, I do feel the same way about you.
07:19Now, should we go rehearse and improv?
07:22Well, you don't rehearse improv, but sure.
07:25Let's go kick around some ideas for the Zoomtack killer.
07:29Come on.
07:30This way.
07:42I've done two one-woman shows.
07:49A-OK, an in-depth look at my mental health.
07:52And last week, 100K, an in-depth look at my gambling addiction.
07:58Both shows lasted eight hours.
08:02Wow.
08:03I think you're going to be the next Cate Blanchett.
08:06Or is Cate Blanchett going to be the first Cate Blanchett?
08:11Talents?
08:12Oh.
08:13Um.
08:14I play the backpipes.
08:16You are so cool, Elise.
08:18Am I?
08:20Most people think it's weird.
08:22The Sea Judds boys have always made a safe space for talented weirdos.
08:26So this club must take up a lot of your time.
08:30Do you ever get a chance to play sports?
08:34Or sleep?
08:36Or date?
08:37I had a break-up recently.
08:39Lyle.
08:40He died in the campus murders.
08:42Oh, I'm so sorry.
08:45And-and Scott?
08:46Did you know Scott just...
08:47Speaking of the murders...
08:49Would you believe we also dated?
08:51No.
08:52You've probably heard about our break-up.
08:54It's, um...
08:56Well, it's kind of an urban legend.
08:58No.
08:59One day, he calls me onto the quad.
09:02He's made this...
09:03This honor guard with the football team.
09:05So I walk through it.
09:07Assuming there's a proposal.
09:08Or at the very least, a dinner invite.
09:12He dumps me.
09:13In front of everybody.
09:15I was furious.
09:17Oh.
09:18Now, Elise.
09:19I have the most brilliant idea for a dating sketch.
09:24No, I don't think I did.
09:25Oh, no, Kay.
09:26Yes.
09:27Kay, you have to stop peer pressuring this poor girl.
09:32Do you talk to yourself?
09:34I prefer a dramatic aside.
09:50Rory!
09:53Why are you carrying around a mattress?
09:55It's a protest because...
09:56Did he tell you to do this?
09:57This is an effective form of protest.
09:59Sexual assault and murder affect both genders.
10:02All genders.
10:03Rory, this is a famous form of protest
10:05by female victims of sexual assault.
10:07It's meant to signify carrying the weight.
10:08There is a man out there without a dick.
10:10How about I do everybody a favor
10:11and cut yours off right now?
10:14Did you hear that?
10:16She's threatening me!
10:18Detective?
10:30Officer?
10:33So, what if this whole thing was a false flag?
10:36A man attempting to unite other men against women?
10:41Do you have any other evidence besides that footprint?
10:43No.
10:45Just a theory.
10:46Okay.
10:47Well, I still have a theory of my own.
10:50Look.
10:51This proves that she's affiliated with the Radfans.
10:53No, not this again, Shep.
10:55If we went off this kind of evidence,
10:57then we'd be arresting Donna Kebab based on 20 kebab wrappers, right?
11:00So, what is going on with you?
11:04I'm sorry.
11:05I've just been here two years.
11:07I know these students.
11:10I will get it under control.
11:12I've got a date with Jenny in the art room in ten minutes.
11:13Hurry back, Elise.
11:14I've got a date with Jenny in the art room in ten minutes.
11:15Hurry back, Elise.
11:16I need to run you through some blocking.
11:17Okay, Kate.
11:18Okay, Kate.
11:19I'm sorry.
11:20I'm sorry.
11:21I'm sorry.
11:22I'm sorry.
11:23I've got a date with Jenny in the art room in ten minutes.
11:25Hurry back, Elise.
11:26I need to run you through some blocking.
11:27And.
11:28Okay, Kate.
11:30All.
11:31All.
11:32All men.
11:33Killers.
11:34This whole Potos world's world has gráfic Bir'al men killer.
11:40Now Okay.
11:43All Men killer.
11:44The Kill All Men killer.
11:45What the fuck?
11:47What are you doing?
11:49We've got a date with Jenny in the art room in ten minutes.
11:50Hurry back, Elise.
11:51I need to run you through some blocking.
11:54I've decided I'm not going to confront Kay till after the show.
12:00I'm sorry?
12:02There's a man bleeding to death.
12:04Kay is lovely.
12:05I want to do the show with her.
12:06Yeah, first off, she's a major pygmy.
12:09She's not a pygmy.
12:11She's just a low-maintenance theatre kid who prefers the company of men.
12:14I saw her scream, kill all men in the mirror.
12:17I'm pretty sure she's the penis cutter.
12:18Barbara, she can't be both.
12:20A pygmy doesn't kill men.
12:21She loves them.
12:22So maybe you're wrong.
12:24Oh, wow.
12:26Lesbian socials would go crazy for this.
12:29Art girl lesbians who argue all day and murder all night.
12:35I finally worked out what the red dots mean.
12:37You killed them, then made love at the crime scene,
12:40then painted your pants with her blood.
12:44Not quite.
12:45Jenny, I gave you your money.
12:48Why are you still coming after us?
12:50I used it to pivot and expand.
12:52I now produce wearables.
12:54You didn't pay your student fees?
12:59Give a woman a fish and she eats for a day.
13:01Teach a woman to fish and she eats forever.
13:04Joe Biden.
13:05Our only problem is now we have 2,500 units to move.
13:09And why is that our problem?
13:11Because if you want to stop me taking these pants to the police,
13:14I'm going to need Barbara to tell her followers she's collabed with me on this.
13:18I'm not doing this.
13:19Yes, Barbara, you have to.
13:20You owe me.
13:22What?
13:22Leaving me alone last night.
13:24Letting them pierce my nose.
13:25Calling me a stalker.
13:26Am I wrong?
13:26Look at the way you're already fawning over Kay.
13:29I'm sorry, Elise, but I am not putting that on my body.
13:34That was hot.
13:36But Elsie, do you have the authority to negotiate a daily posting plan on behalf of Barbara?
13:41It's Elise.
13:42And now.
13:47Drop the drip by midnight or I go to the police.
13:50You need to interrogate her properly.
14:03You need to announce the collab.
14:05When we hand Kay over, the collab won't matter.
14:07Fine.
14:08I hope you're right.
14:09Otherwise, at midnight, you're going to jail.
14:13Kay?
14:14Ah, there you are.
14:15I think this color's going to look fab on you.
14:17What happened between you and Lyle?
14:18Oh, he broke up with me.
14:20And to be honest, I deserved it.
14:22I cheated on him a bunch of times.
14:24These sea jets parties can get frisky.
14:27And Scott?
14:28Ladies on a guard, it was so public.
14:30I wouldn't blame you if you...
14:31Darling, have you heard of a PR relationship?
14:35What?
14:35It's very common in the entertainment industry.
14:37I paid him to date me and break up with me.
14:40It did wonders for our subscribers.
14:42I saw you say, kill all men killer into the mirror.
14:46What was that?
14:47I'm sorry.
14:47Were you stalking me in my dressing room?
14:51Okay, we're about to go live.
14:55Elise, come on.
15:00And your hot friends are at the door.
15:03So don't embarrass me.
15:09Come here.
15:10Come.
15:11But what are you doing here?
15:12Oh, those little shits.
15:17I mean, that's why I'm here.
15:18People are always using my content to catfish.
15:21I'm just going to get them to take it down and then we should go get a drink.
15:23Yeah, but, like, if you did want to do the show, Babs, like, that's okay.
15:26No.
15:27You can do...
15:29Yeah, like, we fully support your social suicide, babe.
15:31Why won't you latch, goddammit, nurse?
15:42Nurse, can you show me her?
15:44Yeah, no worries.
15:45I can feel the milk flowing.
15:48Oh, oh, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:04Yeah.
16:04Yeah.
16:04Yeah.
16:05She sells seashells by the seashore.
16:28Seashells. Seashells by the seashore.
16:31Amazing.
16:33Oh, give me a hug.
16:35You're going to be so good.
16:37Thanks, Kelly.
16:41Break a leg.
16:43I love you.
17:00Elise!
17:01We really need to talk to you.
17:03Just let me have my moment.
17:11Oh, yeah.
17:15Oh, my God.
17:40Tinder?
17:41More like Chanda.
17:42Oh, my God.
18:00Okay, I think we're in the middle of a live cancellation.
18:12Shit.
18:14Shit.
18:15Shit.
18:16I'm the kitchen gardener.
18:33Hello, I am the kitchen gardener.
18:46I am so sorry.
18:47The food has been poisoned.
18:54No, it wasn't the food.
18:56We died because she who is ugly as fuck.
18:58I also happen to be single.
19:04This is for you, pretty lady.
19:06Stop trying to ruin our sketch.
19:08I thought you didn't want to be on stage.
19:10Hold on, you just meant to mime.
19:13I thought the rule was yes, fucking and.
19:18Okay, I get it.
19:19I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead.
19:23Shall we go and get a drink somewhere else?
19:28Oh, oh, you are wondering where I got my wearables.
19:37Well, if you want flowers and you want to wear them too,
19:41then Jenny's Crochet Garden is for you.
19:55Thank you, thank you, Barbara.
19:58You were right.
20:00Kay can't be the killer and a pygmy.
20:02She's just a pygmy.
20:04Also, she was performing.
20:07Every night of the murders.
20:09For eight hours.
20:18Sorry, Elise.
20:19There's only space for one girl in sea, Judds.
20:21It's not a space, Kay.
20:23It's a cage.
20:24You might think it's benefiting you now,
20:26but it's putting you in sexist sketches
20:28and pitting you against other women.
20:29You're a scream.
20:34I don't think Kay minds the cage.
20:46I think she might have built it.
20:48Hmm.
20:49I shouldn't have left you at the party.
20:51Or called you a stalker.
20:54It's okay.
20:55I think your bad improv was enough of a gesture.
20:59For you.
21:00Detective Roach.
21:01Oh, good evening, Commissioner.
21:03The investigation's going.
21:04Melbourne University have threatened to pull out of the Federation Games,
21:08and we are hemorrhaging international students.
21:10Financially and optically,
21:12we have threatened to pull out of the Federation Games,
21:13and we are hemorrhaging international students.
21:16Financially and optically,
21:17this is fucking me.
21:31So, yes.
21:33Why don't you tell me how the investigation's going.
21:37All right.
21:39Get up.
21:40I'll make an arrest.
21:41All right. Get up.
21:44We're making an arrest.
21:46Without fucking time.
21:57Oh! I've been removed from the group chat.
22:01I'm so sorry.
22:02Now I understand why being the dough meant so much to you.
22:06Yeah.
22:07When I was little my mum left my dad
22:10and she worked two jobs, but we never had much.
22:16And then one day, one of my videos went viral.
22:21Like, I felt so powerful.
22:27I just wanted to feel like that in real life.
22:31I don't even have a room here.
22:33No one knows that but you.
22:35Babe, money or no money, you are still so powerful.
22:38No, it's true.
22:40When I first met you, I was terrified.
22:42I had to drink three panic fizzes.
22:44Come on, it's blank.
22:46You lot, come on.
22:48So, um, I made this friend back in secondary school.
22:52Zoe is her name.
22:54My first friend ever.
22:56Until one day she decided to ditch me for the cool girls.
22:59And I wanted to know why.
23:01But she wouldn't return my texts, so...
23:03I followed her home.
23:07Doesn't seem that bad.
23:09I did like five or six times.
23:13Well, her parents then said I was harassing her.
23:15That turned into a stalking charge.
23:17My own mom didn't back me up.
23:25I know that I can be, like, a bit full on.
23:29You are.
23:31But I am very comfortable telling you to fuck off when it's too much.
23:37Over here! This way!
23:39Oh, shit.
23:41Ooh, shit.
24:01Brrrr!
24:03Brrrrr!
24:07You
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