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00:00The killer left the tip of a penis in our tip-off box last night.
00:14I want some more information on this Donna kebab.
00:16Kay Blanchett.
00:18You're familiar with my oeuvre.
00:20The kill all men killer.
00:22I have the most brilliant idea for a dating sketch.
00:26Hello.
00:27I am the kitchen gardener.
00:30Kay can't be the killer and a pick-me.
00:32She's just a pick-me.
00:33It's Barbara, right?
00:35How's Maya?
00:36All right, get up.
00:37We're making an arrest.
00:38Oh boy.
00:40Shit.
00:42Good afternoon, staff and students.
00:44I'm absolutely thrilled to announce that as of yesterday evening,
00:48police have detained a person of interest in regards to the tragic campus murders.
00:54We are very confident this will lead to an arrest.
00:57So I'd love if we could put all this behind us and focus on the upcoming federation games.
01:03Has the body of the third victim been found?
01:05Don't say body.
01:06You're still alive.
01:08You can survive without a dick.
01:09Well done.
01:14Why are they detaining an innocent woman?
01:16How do you know she's innocent?
01:17How do you know she's guilty?
01:21Oh, well, you're saying a woman's not capable of murder?
01:23No.
01:24I could happily kill you right now.
01:26Bring it on.
01:28Hey.
01:29What?
01:30Hey.
01:31Where are you going?
01:32A man is still missing.
01:34We need to keep protesting.
01:35Hey, a woman is being falsely imprisoned.
01:37Have some respect for the cause.
01:39We have 29 anonymous tips pointing to you, Donna.
01:57So why don't you start by telling us where you were the nights of the murders?
02:01We want to get you out of here, Donna.
02:10Just tell us where you were.
02:14This isn't helping your case at all.
02:17Maybe you should reconsider legal counsel.
02:26Okay.
02:27Why don't we take a break?
02:28Yeah?
02:29Can we get you anything?
02:31Some water?
02:32A tea?
02:33Kebab?
02:39What do you think is acceptable to be promoting the work of an accused murderer?
02:44No, no, thank you for bringing that up.
02:46Look at this.
02:47I don't know.
02:47I think that, yes, the killer may be in custody, but her work will echo throughout history forever.
02:55The annals of art history will never forget her.
02:59It remains bold, primal, vaginal.
03:03If you'd like to go further into the very subject, I've penned an article and you can go to my website.
03:08You do realize he's taking credit for art he didn't make, that wasn't even intended as art.
03:13Do you have a Google alert for him?
03:16Do you feel bad for Donna?
03:19Why should I?
03:20She's the murderer, apparently.
03:22Is she?
03:22She didn't vandalize the statue.
03:24Shh.
03:25Hey, Nicole.
03:27Where's my eyeshadow?
03:29Oh, um, sorry.
03:30It's just that I was just having a look at it.
03:32Are you going on a date?
03:34No, I'm going to the party.
03:36What party?
03:37Cops and tarts at Stevens College.
03:39Everyone's going.
03:40You still owe me a toaster?
03:41No one messaged me.
03:46Oh.
03:47Doesn't mean you can't go.
03:47Nicole said everyone's invited.
03:51Let's go.
03:53We can dress up as detectives.
03:54Cool suits, sunglasses, cigarettes, magnifying glass.
03:58We're the tarts, Elise.
03:59We're always the tarts.
04:00The boys are the cops.
04:02Okay, I guess I could make that work.
04:04But there's only one problem.
04:07Me.
04:08I'm famously awful at parties.
04:10If I were to be part of Operation Make Barbara Cool Again,
04:13you'd have to give me a complete...
04:15Give you a complete what, Elise?
04:18Barbara, you need to turn me into someone horrifically different.
04:21I need to be your perfect wingwoman.
04:23Then I can help you get your brand back on track
04:25and reconnect with your real friends.
04:28So, okay.
04:31What time is it?
04:34If you want me to say makeover time, I'm not going to.
04:50I can hear, like,
04:51fun.
04:59Jamal!
05:00Did anyone order two absolute party animals?
05:06Ooh!
05:09Welcome to the arrest pisser.
05:24Another dangerous woman off the streets.
05:27On behalf of the Stevens College boys,
05:30let's...
05:31fucking...
05:33party!
05:39We've got six hours,
05:41and then we're going to have to release her.
05:42This is killing me.
05:43She's a law student, Roach.
05:44She knows we don't have enough.
05:47Look, I get that the VC wants an arrest, okay?
05:50But this just seems...
05:51Yeah, well,
05:52if she has nothing to hide,
05:53why not talk?
05:55Okay,
05:56the tech guy searched her phone.
05:58It's been completely wiped.
05:59So we now have reasonable suspicion
06:02that evidence has been destroyed.
06:04Search her room.
06:05Just don't,
06:06Shep.
06:07Shep.
06:10Hey!
06:12Yes!
06:13Yes!
06:14Yes!
06:18Nose ring!
06:19Blade!
06:19I thought you'd be protesting.
06:21No,
06:21I wanted a shower and a drink.
06:23And besides,
06:24they'll release her.
06:25They'll have to.
06:25It's only a matter of time.
06:27But how can you be so sure?
06:29Hmm?
06:31Ask Caroline,
06:32Donna's roommate.
06:33She here tonight?
06:34Are we flirting or chatting?
06:38Just chatting.
06:44Barbara.
06:45Donna's roommate, Caroline, is here.
06:47We have to talk to her.
06:48Elise, is that why you wanted to come?
06:50Can we just leave it?
06:51No, no, no, no, I came to party.
06:53But if Donna is innocent, the police will be after us again.
06:57And it means there's still a killer on the loose,
06:59which means everyone on campus is in danger.
07:01Oh.
07:04How did you?
07:07Bagpiper's fingers.
07:09Nimble.
07:12Here.
07:13Oh, no, no, I'm not cold.
07:15It means you like to.
07:16You're ready to take it.
07:18I'm Tomo.
07:19Elise.
07:21Want to dance?
07:23Uh, sure.
07:25Hey, Molly!
07:26Good to see you.
07:27Want a beer?
07:28Yes.
07:30Wow.
07:34Aren't you in the MRA now?
07:37How are you allowed back in the group?
07:39I brought beer.
07:41Must be nice to be a man.
07:43Yeah.
07:43Yeah.
07:43Yeah.
07:44Yeah.
07:48That could have been us, but, uh, you didn't show up.
07:51You never showed up for me.
07:56Scott died, and you didn't give a shit.
07:59Why don't you just admit that you used me to be the doe?
08:02Why don't you just admit that you used me to nurse your fragile male emotion?
08:06You're heartless.
08:07You're selfish.
08:08You're vain.
08:09You bore the shit out of everyone with MMA.
08:12Fuck you.
08:13Fuck you.
08:14Why couldn't we have done this before?
08:24I always felt like you wanted me around, but you never wanted to let me in.
08:39Elise?
08:40Elise?
08:40Elise?
08:40I think it's working.
08:49Hey, hey, hey, where are you going?
09:10Oh, I'll be back.
09:11Don't go anywhere.
09:12We found this in your room.
09:22It's a list of 212 people with dates, including the names of the two murder victims.
09:30Lyle's name crossed out.
09:32Is that because you killed him?
09:35We just want to understand.
09:37Doesn't look good, you know.
09:40Refusing to cooperate, the wiped phone, and now this.
09:43It's time to come clean.
09:45They're the people I've had sex with.
09:48Okay?
09:48You cracked the case.
09:50Congratulations.
09:53212 people.
09:56That's impossible.
09:58Maybe for you.
09:59Why'd you cross out Lyle's name?
10:03Because we only got to third base before he passed out, and then I found out he was a creep, so I dodged a bullet.
10:08You had animosity towards him.
10:10Plenty of women hated Lyle, and Scott, for that matter.
10:13But you had intercourse with both of them.
10:15I'm sorry.
10:16Have I been arrested for having sex with dumb guys?
10:19Because, if so, you're going to have to arrest a lot of girls.
10:22There are six dates on this list with somebody called Jumper.
10:30So?
10:31Why is Jumper the only pseudonym?
10:33You've got 200 full names written down there.
10:38Well, I can only assume that this Jumper is somebody you're protecting.
10:44Or maybe shouldn't be with.
10:46According to your diary, you were with Jumper on the day that the third victim's penis tip turned up.
10:52Is Jumper the third victim?
10:55Is Jumper the third victim?
10:58Have you hurt someone, Donna?
11:08We cannot let fear lead to violence against women.
11:12Hey, there is a war going on against men, and it's got to stop.
11:18Can't believe they went to a party while a woman rots in jail.
11:23Ugh.
11:25You know what would be funny?
11:27If I went to that party and I brought those boys back.
11:32That's the most intelligent thing you've ever said.
11:34Really?
11:35You think so?
11:36I'm going to come with you.
11:39I'll walk you.
11:43No.
11:44I'll walk you.
11:45How?
11:49Can I walk you first?
11:50I said I was walking up.
11:52Yeah.
12:11I'll walk you first.
12:12What the hell is happening?
12:15Midnight! Tradition!
12:17Take your pants off, babe!
12:19Have you seen Barbara?
12:20Barbara?
12:44Barbara?
12:48We need to talk.
12:51Barbara?
12:54That's great.
13:01What the fuck?
13:11Gross.
13:21Sorry, babe. You bailed. And she's a seven. For Satano, I think you're so naughty. Come on.
13:30Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Ugh. Help me.
13:40What's wrong?
13:41I'm trying to write an email, but my typing game's off for some reason.
13:50Okay.
13:51Okay. Um. Okay. I will write. You dictate.
14:00I'm sorry.
14:01You know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
14:02I'm sorry. Okay.
14:03My roommate didn't kill anyone.
14:05roommate didn't kill anyone. Truth is, she's been sleeping with her professor and she was with him
14:16both nights of the murders. Love, Caroline. Wait, you're Caroline? Do you know which professor?
14:28All I know is he wears fugly jumpers. Not Phoenix then. Huh? Sorry, if Donna has an alibi why is she protecting this guy?
14:38She's not protecting him, she's protecting herself and her future law career. This shit
14:47always comes back on the woman. You sent her?
14:52200. I mean that can't be true can it? You have to get over that and we have to let her go. This jumper
15:04guy could be bleeding out in a sex dungeon as we speak. Yeah I'm pretty sure it's not Donna's dungeon.
15:08Well of course you are. What does that mean? Because you're too involved. You're losing the big picture
15:13again Shep. You're being obstructive and difficult. I'm losing the big picture? Yeah. These murders are
15:19not about what's happened this week or what's happened this semester. They are the result of 200
15:27years of female rage. Each year one in six women are harassed on this campus. One in 30 are assaulted.
15:41Most of them will know their perpetrator. And they will come to me looking for help. And I can't give them any.
15:54Because misogyny is woven into every element of this place. And until that changes, until we change that,
16:03people are going to keep dying. You watch. And the old roach that I read about in all those articles probably
16:14would have given a shit about that. Um. What? We just received an email. I think you should see.
16:21Hey Darren, can you be crying in the quad? We should all be on the quad. Dorian, men are still under attack.
16:38Yeah, but I'm out of shirt.
16:41Hell yeah! You just got silly screened!
16:44It isn't even funny! What the hell?
16:58Shit!
16:59Oh my god, thank god. There is something seriously wrong about that. Um, Peek, what are you doing?
17:21Tonight, and tonight only, I will fuck you. And then we take the secret to our graves.
17:30But, what about the cause?
17:34That's what's the cause.
17:45I'm sorry, Maya. I'm so sorry.
17:51I was a different person back then, but it's no excuse.
17:54Oh, hey, have you seen Barbara? I was literally just looking for her.
18:04You can't go over there. Nicole, if this is about the toaster or the scarf, they're having a conversation
18:10that's been a long time coming. Scarf. Who's that?
18:14Maya. Maya. She's the one who spoke out after the Obig party at this college.
18:20And your friend publicly came out in support of her rapist?
18:23What? No, Barbara never said anything about that.
18:27It happened before you started.
18:29No, but Barbara wouldn't do that.
18:32Did she?
18:32I have enough to deal with, and I don't want to hold a grudge, so we're good.
18:42Really?
18:42Yeah, I'm doing better. I can throw it.
18:48That's, that's great.
18:50How about you?
18:52There's this group on campus I've been going through.
18:54Oh, um, I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you, though.
18:58Barbara, what happened to you that night?
19:00It was just that camel video, but that's done now.
19:05They've stopped posting it, so it's fine.
19:07No, I'm talking about what happened afterwards.
19:11Downstairs.
19:14It was a party.
19:16We were all wasted.
19:20Okay, well then, you wouldn't mind coming down there with me then.
19:32So you've released her?
19:33Well, we had to. I think we need to rethink the whole investigation.
19:36Well, I won't say anything. That should buy you some time.
19:39The students should know that the murderer is still out there.
19:43You leave the students to me. I don't tell you how to do your job.
19:45Well, you do, constantly.
19:48You and I both know that this is not a new problem.
19:51Women have been coming forward for the past 200 years,
19:54but they can't win because, well, because misogyny.
19:58Thank you, detective, for mansplaining my own campus to me.
20:04Did you go to university? I mean, do detectives go to university?
20:08No, I didn't go to university.
20:09Exactly. Because what you're talking about is university.
20:13Every university. You're talking about the university experience.
20:18One of the professors is sleeping with his students.
20:20Which isn't a crime. Unlike castration. Unlike murder.
20:24Not sure why I have to spell this out for you.
20:27I have a lot of very upset parents to deal with.
20:33Find the fucking boy who belongs to that fucking tip.
20:57No.
21:08Ah,
21:12ah,
21:16ah,
21:19ah,
21:21I can't believe I didn't know.
21:38You look different. What's changed?
21:41Nothing. It was a stupid idea anyway.
21:46Pound trees, bro. Read the room.
21:51Turn the music back on!
22:03What the fuck?
22:06Ivan! Ivan!
22:09Somebody call the cops!
22:21I call the cops.
22:23I call the cops.
22:26I call the cops.
22:37What the fuck is?
22:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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