Lisa Wants To Know Just How Small Jason is!

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who was arrested after crashing his car while trying to urinate in a beer can. Then, we play a game of "What Can You Fit Into?!?"

Transcript

00:00What are you up to now, Chuck?

00:01Well, the new five-hour energy holiday flavors have got me in the spirit,

00:05so I'm decorating the studio.

00:08Oh, I see.

00:08So Thanksgiving, cranberry lime, Christmas is the gingerbread snap,

00:12but what about Halloween?

00:13Pumpkin's wife!

00:21You know, Chuck believes he can do almost anything while driving.

00:25Yes.

00:26Over the years, he's told us a million different things he thinks he can handle.

00:29What about taking a piss in a Budweiser can while driving?

00:35Easy.

00:36No problem for you.

00:36I can go right in the can, so I'll fit right in the can.

00:39Oh, my Lord.

00:39Dear God.

00:39His full thing will be in it.

00:41Yeah.

00:42Let's put it right in there.

00:43Stop it now.

00:43Touch the bottom.

00:44Nah, maybe not.

00:45Halfway down.

00:46I mean, I'll at least get in the little hole there.

00:4953-year-old James Howard was involved in a rear-end collision

00:53that police say was caused by distractive driving.

00:58Yeah.

00:58This time, however, the distraction in question had nothing to do with texting

01:01or messing around with the sound system.

01:04Howard needed to take a piss.

01:06Yeah.

01:06But rather than pull over at the next rest stop or gas station,

01:10he thought his best play was to use the Budweiser can he had been drinking out of.

01:15This is a man who, every once in a while, accidentally drinks a can full of his own piss.

01:21Yes.

01:22No, you're absolutely correct.

01:23Yeah.

01:24It is.

01:25Turned out that Howard did have a history of driving while impaired

01:28and driving under a suspended license that likely didn't help his cause too much.

01:34So he rear-ended another car while he was trying to piss in a can.

01:39Yeah.

01:40I mean, it would be tough, you know, like you can't screw it up.

01:43No, listen.

01:44I hear you joke, but you could not fit yours through the hole in there easily.

01:49Right in there.

01:49It's the opening of a beer can.

01:52Get me a can.

01:53No.

01:54I'll put it in there right now.

01:55They're so sharp.

01:57I'm not hitting the edges.

01:58It's like a game operation.

02:00I'm in it easy.

02:00He's in.

02:01No buzzers.

02:02He's in.

02:02Wow, he got the bone right out.

02:04Okay.

02:05Yeah.

02:06No.

02:07I'd be worried about the volume.

02:09Like, if you're drunk, you only got 12 ounces.

02:12You think you're pissing more than 12 ounces?

02:14If I've been drinking all day.

02:15Once it starts going.

02:16Like, who knows how long.

02:17Yeah.

02:18I have been shocked by my own amount.

02:20I mean, every guy has, I'm sure, but I've never really thought I'd have a can full.

02:26Yeah.

02:26I think like a Gatorade bottle would have been the easier and wiser choice, but he didn't

02:32have that on hand, you know?

02:34This isn't the topic that I need to see Jason for, but I can't see him, Dave.

02:38Could you move that to me?

02:38Oh, yeah, sure.

02:39You want to see his little dick?

02:40There you go.

02:41There he is.

02:42You want to see it?

02:45Right in a can.

02:46Right in a can.

02:50Of all the times you wanted to make eye contact with me.

02:53Well, no, I knew it was an inappropriate time.

02:54I didn't think it'd be now.

02:56I mean, I knew that.

02:57That's why I said it off the top.

02:58What else can I show you?

03:01I can get in this?

03:03Easy.

03:05You see this hole?

03:06How about this?

03:07Oh, that?

03:10And he's in.

03:11That's easy.

03:15No problem.

03:16Just like this.

03:17Okay.

03:18And in.

03:20And out.

03:21I mean, I got so much room in that.

03:23And out.

03:25What else can I fit in?

03:27Okay.

03:27All right.

03:29Now let's play what can Jason fit in?

03:32This?

03:34He's in.

03:35That's a pen cap.

03:36Yeah, I'm in it.

03:38I'm in it and breathing room.

03:41Stop yourself.

03:42He's in it.

03:42Stop it.

03:43He's in it.

03:44Come on now.

03:44Nice to see you.

03:47You got any props you can show me?

03:48See if I can fit in it?

03:50What do we got over there, Leish?

03:51No, I don't.

03:52Everything she has is for a size king.

03:54You got nothing?

03:56No.

03:56This one.

03:58Oh, I'll fit in the phone jack.

04:00Easy.

04:00Phone jack.

04:01He's in.

04:02Yeah.

04:02He's in.

04:03It's about the same size, too.

04:05Length.

04:06Screw it right on there.

04:07And girth.

04:08All right.

04:09I'm the size of a phone jack.

04:13I need to take a look at him while he's talking about it.

04:18I can't really see him when he's degrading himself.

04:22Yeah.

04:22USB?

04:23No, no.

04:24This is a whistle.

04:25It's the top of a whistle.

04:25Oh, the top of a whistle?

04:26Not even the top.

04:27Let's go in the mouth part.

04:28Can we get in the mouth part?

04:30Here, give me all the props.

04:31We'll see.

04:31He's in.

04:32He's in.

04:33Let's see what I can fit in.

04:34Pen cap.

04:35Easy.

04:36Yikes.

04:37Might have to smush it a little bit.

04:41Thank you so much.

04:41If you've ever wanted to see.

04:43No.

04:43Yeah.

04:43Never have.

04:44This is what my penis looks like.

04:46Okay.

04:46All right.

04:48Come on.

04:50It works.

04:50Ridiculous.

04:51It works.

04:52Got a wife and two kids out of it, you know?

04:54That's it.

04:54Two kids.

04:54Got to play the hand you're dealt.

04:56Absolutely.

04:56Look at you.

04:57That's it.

04:57What did you expect out of me?

04:58Good job.

04:59Should be a motivational speaker.

05:00Good job.

05:01You can do it.

05:02Look at this, man.

05:03This is me.

05:04I can fit inside this cat.

05:06That's my wife and kids.

05:08I did it.

05:09Hey, I keep getting up.

05:11Yep.

05:11Keep getting up every morning.

05:12You do.

05:13Absolutely.

05:14You do.

05:16You do.

05:17You do.

05:29You do.

05:30You do.

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