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00:00A first-time welcome to Malala and Amy. Hello. Hello. You're very welcome now
00:04We've had Oscar winners and BAFTA winners all sorts on the show
00:07You are the first person to sit on that couch who's won a Nobel Peace Prize Malala
00:16So how does it like do they bring it round on a cushion to your house? How do you get it?
00:22No, they just announced it on television
00:24Okay. Yeah, and I was actually at school
00:27I was in my chemistry class and my school's deputy headteacher walked in and called me outside
00:32And she informed me that I had won the Nobel Peace Prize. Did you ask whether it was a chemistry?
00:39I knew I was good
00:42She usually calls you when you are in trouble. Yeah, I was like, huh, you know, not too bad today
00:49Then I finished my school day because I thought if you receive the Nobel Peace Prize for education
00:55You have to finish your school day. Very wise
00:58That's insane to be honest. I mean like just
01:00Like since the last time I was here, come on, I wouldn't strictly come dancing
01:04I won a BAFTA for it and then you've had me sat next to someone who's got a Nobel Peace Prize
01:09Yeah, everything does kind of paler to do with LeWoods
01:14And apparently there are good vibes. This show's got to go well. Amy LeWood, you've done research
01:22Yes, I always do research
01:24Okay
01:25From the stars
01:26Okay
01:27This is a good astrological mix
01:29Oh, yes, very good
01:31So you've researched us all?
01:32Yes, I mean I might not remember now because it's scary and my mind's gone blank
01:37Okay
01:39I'm all looking at you going, go on then
01:41Yeah, I know
01:42Just make it up, that's what all the good ones do
01:44Yeah, yeah
01:45You two are Aries, right?
01:47Yes!
01:48Yes, aren't you?
01:49So you bring the passion, the energy, you know, you'll keep the fire going
01:53That's us, that's us, you're cancer, aren't you?
01:55I am cancer, yeah
01:56You're the mother of the zodiac
01:58Hello children
01:59So it's a lot of nurture and emotional intelligence and, yeah, so, and depth
02:08What are you?
02:09I'm an Aquarius
02:10Oh
02:11Yeah, which is, like, the weird one
02:13Yeah, it is
02:14Chris, you're a Gemini, aren't you?
02:16I am, yeah
02:17Yes, we're quite similar, Aquarius and Gemini, both of them
02:19Okay
02:20But Gemini's are very chatty, Gemini's are very chatty, so that's good
02:23Yes, it is
02:24Right, I mean, it helps, doesn't it?
02:25Yeah
02:26It's a chat show
02:27Yeah
02:28I mean, she's predicted I'm going to be chatty
02:30She's seen it in the stars
02:32And can I just say, Amelia Wood, thank you very much for making the effort to do that
02:36Yeah
02:37You know, not many guests do, so thank you very much, yeah
02:39Yeah
02:40Yeah
02:41Yeah
02:42Well, listen, it's a bit of a book club tonight because, er, three books to talk about
02:46As well as Amy's television show
02:48So let's get started with Keira Knightley
02:51She has written a children's book, a beautiful thing, it is called I Love You Just The Same
02:57I've got an angle so we get to see the gold lettering
02:59Nice
03:00Yeah
03:01It's a good oohing
03:03Good oohing, thank you very much for the oohing, yes
03:05It's out now
03:06And so this is a children's book that was inspired by your own children
03:09Yes, my own children
03:10So my oldest daughter didn't like sleeping at all
03:13Erm, and so she didn't sleep through the night until she was five
03:15And as part of that, we, erm, we went through, like, er, various different strategies
03:20Can I just say, anyone pregnant now is going, what?
03:22Yeah, don't worry, that's what, you know, it happens, but not always
03:26Erm, but anyway, she was, you know, it happened with her
03:28And so we got to a point where, erm, I would say to her, OK, at bedtime, erm, I will draw you a picture at night
03:34And so when you wake up, you'll see the picture and you'll know that I've been thinking about you
03:38And so every single night she'd ask for a drawing and it would be, like, of a bird or of a cat
03:42And then eventually she'd be like, OK, can I be in it? Can my sister be in it?
03:45And then one day she said, can you draw a bird and can it take the baby away?
03:51I was like, wow, OK, yes, I can
03:54So I drew this picture and at the end of this five months we had, like, I mean, so many images
03:59And I said to her, OK, I'll put them into a book for you
04:01And she said, no, they're boring, they're just in black and white, you know, as children do
04:04So, you know, brilliant, OK
04:05So I spent, like, another couple of months trying to colour them in
04:08And then I put them up on the wall and I just kind of kept playing with them
04:11And this story kind of came out of it
04:14Of this, erm, of this girl whose baby sister gets taken away by a pigeon
04:18And she has to go on a magical adventure to find her again
04:21Of course she does
04:22Yes, cos I had to get the baby back
04:24And, er, and, er, I like that it's a pigeon
04:27Cos apparently there was some pushback by the publishers
04:29Yes
04:29They thought the pigeon was not appropriate
04:30No, they felt that it shouldn't be a pigeon
04:32And it should be a lovely, mysterious bird
04:34I felt very strongly about the pigeon
04:35But apparently lots of people don't like pigeons
04:38But I, I like a pigeon, I'm a big fan of a pigeon
04:40So there are pigeons
04:41And can I just say, so, you know, it's not like they didn't use your pictures
04:44These are your pictures in the book
04:45They are my pictures in the book, yes
04:47And can we just admire her pigeon, frankly
04:49Admire my pigeons
04:50Look at those, thank you
04:52Lovely people, thank you
04:55Yep
04:57It's so detailed
04:58I mean, it's
04:59It's very detailed
05:00So it's, I actually, I draw a lot anyway
05:03And it's partly, I'm dyslexic
05:05So I find learning lines quite difficult
05:07So I normally record the lines that I'm doing
05:09And I listen to them and listen to them
05:10And when I'm listening to them
05:12I'm drawing the whole time
05:13So I think they have to be quite detailed
05:15Otherwise the lines don't go in my head
05:17So normally I'm drawing kind of pictures of
05:19I don't know why
05:19But it's old men with wrinkles
05:21Hello
05:24Sounds like you've done it already
05:24I'll do it with you
05:25Yeah
05:27But so this was the first time that I've had to do something
05:29Not old men with wrinkles
05:30And it had to be something other
05:31But it was actually, I was doing it
05:33The whole time I was doing Black Dove season one
05:35So I was
05:36I can only just say
05:37I'm very aware, Chris
05:38That I'm showing illustrations that you can't see
05:40Because is it true
05:41In life you use AI
05:43Yeah, yeah
05:44No, a lot of people use AI to kind of create images these days
05:46That's what you hear about
05:47But I use it the other way
05:48And I can use it to take photographs
05:50And it will describe things to me
05:53Whether it's just anything in a room
05:56A drawing my daughter's done
05:57Literally
05:58It will describe things to me
06:00With so much more patience than any human has
06:03And honestly
06:09I can ask it
06:10Like if I'm shopping for something
06:11And there's like a jumper on on the internet
06:15I can get it to describe it to me
06:16And it never says to me
06:18I'm watching CSI
06:19Can you come back in an hour?
06:23Unlike my wife
06:26It's phenomenal
06:26But I get it to describe my daughter's drawings
06:29And things like that
06:29It's really it's really incredible
06:31And you mentioned there you were working on this book Kira
06:34While you were doing black doves
06:36Were you literally drawing these pictures on set?
06:38Yeah, so there was about a three-year period where I was just doodling myself
06:43And then when we went to the publisher and they said yes
06:45I then had about a year to do it
06:46But they literally said yes the week I started black doves
06:50So I was kind of doing the whole thing
06:51And you still chose pigeons
06:52I still chose pigeons
06:55Yes, I like pigeons
06:56Brothers and doves
06:57Sorry, that was
06:58Oh, should have done
06:59But you know, they're kind of similar
07:00Yeah, they are
07:01But also I love the idea of this woman wandering off to draw lovely pictures of cats and flowers
07:07It was literally that day was a pigeon day
07:09Yeah, yeah, yeah
07:10So we're looking at a picture of Kira covered in blood
07:12Yeah
07:15Yeah, I think all of the other actors on set were a bit kind of going what on earth is going on
07:19I'm like here's a lovely goldfish and here's a lovely as I'm looking like that
07:22It was a bit much
07:23Well writing writing is in Kira Knightley's blood
07:26Because your mother was a very successful playwright and novelist
07:29Yeah, she was she was a successful playwright and script writer
07:32She also wrote a couple of novels
07:34I'm not sure that they did that well
07:36But they were they did they did make it
07:38Sorry, sorry mum
07:41But she would say it herself
07:42But they did make it to the school library
07:44And one of them was the most taken out book in our school library because it had a sexy bit in it
07:50So and I didn't realise until I was like wow it's amazing how many people
07:53And then suddenly I got to the sex scene and it was a sex scene written by my mother in the school library
07:58Well talking of the library we went to the library and we found your mother's book
08:02Oh there you go
08:04Is it it's called night night night night night night there's your mom on the back there she is yeah
08:09And you're not joking like it's it opens is it because I don't remember it
08:14I don't know would you call this a sexy now somebody didn't enjoy it overly
08:21We don't know what it is
08:23It's just a stain
08:25It's a very mysterious stain
08:27There's a brown stain on the front you know
08:29You're fine
08:33I wonder what ai would say
08:39But it begins
08:40This is this is literally the first sentence of your mother's book
08:45Yeah
08:46In the middle of the ballroom in the middle of the ball
08:48Francis began to unbutton all the tiny pearls down the front of her cinderella ball gown
08:53Cinderella didn't have tits with milk in she shouted to all the other guests
08:57That's the first sentence
08:59That would do it wouldn't it
09:01Yeah
09:01That's the library
09:02Absolutely
09:02Yeah
09:03They loved it
09:04Yeah
09:04They loved it
09:06We'll be returning it to uh where did I think redbridge library we got it from
09:10Okay good
09:10Yes
09:11And maybe do something about that I would say
09:15Putting it back on the shelves
09:16Yeah
09:16Maybe
09:17Yeah
09:17Yeah
09:18Tipics that bit out
09:20Just a reminder that uh kira's book i love you just the same uh is out now
09:25Now uh
09:26Woo
09:27Woo
09:32Malala yousafzai has a new memoir called finding my way it is out now
09:38And this documents kind of the the second half of your life really since you you came to this country
09:44Is that right yeah and this is uh my coming of age story and these are the most personal reflections
09:50I have ever shared this is about my time in uh school in high school when I was a lonely student to then becoming a reckless college uh student
10:01and uh navigating my way as a young woman so I have shared a lot about my personal experiences about
10:07belonging friendships love mental health and many other topics
10:11And my hope is that when somebody reads this book they know that they're not alone
10:17Um so that's the message I want to spread yeah
10:23And
10:25If you don't mind I mean because what happened to you the murder attempt was sort of 15 years ago
10:29So there might be some people who who don't remember who don't know could you briefly remind us of of what happened and how you ended up in this country?
10:37Yeah, my life completely changed when I was only 11 years old
10:41extremists took over our hometown
10:43And when they announced a ban on girls education
10:46That's when I started doing my activism because I knew that I could not have a future without an education
10:52Then they attempted to uh kill me
10:55I survived that attempt and my life took a whole different
10:59Pathway after that because I was moved to the uk for my treatment
11:02I received surgeries here and I started my high school here
11:06Um and then you know I felt so lucky that I went to college and I completed my degree
11:11And that was the moment when I felt that I had won
11:14Because the people who tried to silence me and stop me from learning failed
11:18And I actually completed my education
11:20But I have the same dream for all of you
11:25Because you know in the book you you you you leave hospital you you go to high school
11:29But as you say it was when you went to university that's when you you kind of not reinvent yourself
11:34But just kind of wanted to become
11:37You know a normal a normal person
11:39Yes, and did you feel because you know you were so famous and known you know when you showed up at university
11:45Did you feel that everyone had an expectation of who Malala was going to be?
11:49100% but I didn't want it to be that way
11:51So that's why I remember when I was packing for university
11:55I wanted to pack all the things that made me look like a normal college student
12:00And I knew that if I wore my traditional shalwar kameez the pakistani traditional outfit
12:04I would stand out and then people would see me as the public figure Malala
12:08So I wanted to wear like jeans and jumpers anything that's just like basic and normal
12:14So I went on google and I looked up a casual style 2017 and then I searched up Selena Gomez
12:21So you google it so this is Selena Gomez here
12:28And you sent us these pictures and that's Selena Gomez and this is Malala channeling Selena
12:33There she is
12:34It's good we've got another one here
12:36This is now when I saw that I thought Malala didn't wear that did she but she did went very zippy look at you
12:41And when you were walking around oxford you know
12:51Were you very aware were with a paparazzi or were you getting a lot of attention?
12:56I was aware that there are people sort of following me around
13:01You know I wanted to be a normal student in college
13:03But of course I knew that if you know that some people are just looking for some excuse to create a whole controversy out of it
13:10Seeing me in a club or you know having fun with friends
13:13But yeah, then a whole controversy came out that was quite surprising to me
13:19So I was out that day for rowing and I was wearing skinny jeans and a bomber jacket and my headscarf
13:26That's where I was yeah, I regret going for rowing that day of course because
13:31I had signed up for everything at college and I said oh, let's try rowing as well because I want to be this active student
13:37I want to make friends
13:38I don't want those like lonely high school years and I realized that for rowing you have to be up at 5 a.m
13:44and
13:45You need to know how to swim and I couldn't swim at the time
13:50But then walking back from there somebody took a photo of me wearing skinny jeans
13:54And I got this call from my parents telling me that they were really concerned because people are criticizing me for wearing jeans
14:03That this is not a traditional outfit and somehow I am shaming the country and the culture
14:09But I told my parents that I'm not in college for some pilgrimage or some
14:13You know cultural representation. I'm here as a student
14:16And I reminded my dad that when my brothers came into this country
14:20They switched to the western clothing right away
14:23They wear jeans and tops, but nobody criticized them. It's only women and girls who are being criticized. So
14:34Every time that anything that happens though, you just text them a photo the nobel peace prize
14:41Yes, as I was saying
14:45But in terms of being scrutinized by you know the public and paparazzi
14:49Keira Knightley you had it like there was a kind of a peak moment in your fame when the paparazzi just decided they were obsessed with you
14:56Yeah, and you came up with a devious plan. Oh, yes. My devious plan was for about two years
15:01I wore exactly the same clothes every single day
15:05I mean actually when I had like about four stripy t-shirts and two pairs in the same jeans
15:09So, you know, I did actually change my clothes, but every single time I went out
15:12It was a uniform and if they were following me, I would just stop so I wouldn't have anyone follow me
15:17So I'd just stop and I'd stand there completely still and it would be hours and hours
15:24But eventually I think I just freaked them out and wait a minute
15:27If you stood there would they just continue to take pictures of you? Yeah for hours five hours one day
15:32It was five hours stood on a thing like this and they and they and and I I honestly do think I freaked them out
15:38They they were like I don't understand what's happening here and I just people walking past going that's statue of kira knightley
15:48Madam disores had a clear out
15:52I like that there's something so bloody minded about it. I know it was it was a bit and I you know and again
15:56It was quite fun going. Oh, this is what freaks you out if you run away that doesn't freak you out
16:01But if you stand still and just stand there
16:03Completely freaks them out. Yeah
16:05And now the second half of manala's book is a love story. Yes, so tell us about asser
16:12Yeah, um
16:14I met him through some friends in college and the moment I saw him. I knew he was a good-looking guy. There he is
16:21Can I just ask me how long does he spend doing his hair? That is some careful hair
16:25forever
16:27It's true, it's true. I mean, I'm like why are you in the toilet for hours?
16:30It's like, you know, how much gel do you need to put on your head?
16:35But you met him and you thought hello and the first experience was go-karting
16:40And I had a mini crash at go-karting
16:44And I you know made it into a big deal
16:48He was beside me and I told him I said you don't understand. I think I had a concussion
16:52Uh, but he was he was trying to make me feel normal. He was being funny
16:57He reminded me that I was driving at five miles per hour
17:02But we immediately connected he has a good sense of humor. He laughed at my jokes, which is
17:07important. Yes
17:09And how difficult is it to you know to date malala because you have security with you all the time?
17:15Yeah, I took him to this movie toy story 4 and I was like relax, you know, we're together enjoy the popcorn
17:22And he said there's like bodyguards behind me
17:25You want me to relax?
17:27So yeah, I understood it from his point of view, of course, but I said
17:32You know just be yourself. Yeah, forget about those men
17:38Just get rid of you
17:40Oh, yes, they uh, they started looking after me. Yeah, especially after like the nobel peace prize. Yeah
17:46Wow
17:47And they is that kind of forever in your head? Do you kind of think that's it now? I've just got security so far. Yes, so
17:54Wow, and I don't want to spoil the ending in the book, but you are a married lady now
17:58Um, and I've suddenly been struck by question. Uh, what star sign is that? Uh, he's a virgo
18:04Is that a good very good? Yeah, very good
18:07I'm married to a virgo. Okay, but he was a premature baby and he was supposed to be a scorpio. Oh
18:13But both would have worked for you. Yeah, I think yeah, maybe like a bit of a mix. He has traces of a scorpio. Okay, that's good. That'll keep you on your toes
18:23Yeah, Amy lewood has spoken
18:27And chris you're married to a brazilian woman. Yeah, and now you decided
18:32You decided you decided to be quite a big romantic gesture. I think quite early on
18:38Well, I was never good at languages as a kid in school and obviously, you know, she speaks portuguese with her family and stuff
18:44So I thought well, I'm an adult now. I want to learn her language and kind of you know
18:49Um, be part of that culture really and I thought well
18:52I can just speak it with her when she's at home as well
18:54And I'll I'll learn really fast and it'll progress so two months in I'm learning the language and she's
19:00Coming home from from work and in the end she said, please stop
19:05She said I can't handle this. I'm at work all day. I'm coming up. She's like speaking to a toddler
19:12She'd come over like today is Wednesday
19:17I have fought a hat
19:21I am a businessman from Sao Paulo
19:23You know a lot of this book a lot of it's about you adapting kind of to good western society
19:35But it's also a story about your parents and how they've adapted and changed a lot
19:40Yeah, my mom especially she was very new to the uk culture. She couldn't speak english
19:46She initially so she had to adjust to everything
19:50But my mom was also, you know, very strict. She wanted me to stick to the pakistani traditional culture and
19:58so
19:59We so when I met
20:02prince harry
20:03We were taking a photo together
20:05So he put his like arm around my shoulder if you don't mind like this
20:09And my mom goes off to him and she says remove like
20:15She just like shoves off his hand and a bit of a background to this
20:19So, you know for my mom it was always a concern that her daughter is safe because
20:25In in patriarchal cultures, you know, girls are not allowed to be outside their homes or like to see another guy or
20:32Um, so she was just always worried. She said i'm not ready to like receive another backlash and you know see another controversy happening
20:40And then there was another moment where I took a picture with david beckham
20:43And again, we were like, you know standing sort of close together
20:47And again, my parents were like freaking out because they were receiving calls from
20:51Our conservative relatives that you know why is malala standing next to a man and I said firstly i'm 17
20:58secondly that's david beckham
21:02so
21:03But my mom and I like we are becoming more of friends now and uh she you know she's
21:11Now like I just like watching her uh focus on herself she's learning english she loves shopping
21:18I mean she's she's at john lewis more than at home
21:23And yeah she loves pilates so she's exploring these new things so i'm very happy for her
21:27And we should say that of course your work continues with the malala fund and you're you're building schools
21:33And you're you're getting your message out there still yeah, we work in a lot of countries
21:38Including afghanistan where education is banned for girls. We are supporting online learning and underground schools
21:44And we're also working in pakistan of course we have invested more than 15 million million dollars in education
21:51um activists and uh we built a school there in my parents village
21:55And there was no high school for girls there so we wanted to make a difference in our community
22:01And I met the first class of girls who graduated this year from that school and it was amazing that their lives have changed completely
22:08Wow uh it's an amazing story and milana's book is called finding my way milana yousafsa everybody thank you so much
22:21And now uh amy lou wood uh you bring us the second season of the hit sitcom daddy issues so bbc1 bbc3 and bbc
22:29iplayer in november so uh first season it was a big hit yes i'm just finding it funny that that's what's following that i know
22:38I was just in such a deep moment of contemplation about your amazingness and then it was like yes this this thing
22:49it's more amazing that everything malala just said followed cinderella's tits are not full of
22:58i wasn't going to dwell on that chris
22:59it's a broad it's a broad it's a broad church uh all human life is here so uh daddy issues
23:09daddy issues it's important amy lou wood it matters
23:14so uh first season uh jemma obviously with with she's pregnant yes uh but now uh the baby's happened
23:22so what's going on in jimma's life he's happened i love that yes the baby's happened and she's feeling quite lost
23:29quite unanchored she doesn't really know what her new identity is she feels an amazing amount of gain
23:36from baby sadie but also loss of her old life and she's missing her dad because her dad's moved
23:42out of the flat because her mum's moved in and her dad's terrified of her mum um so the cat we kind
23:49of meet her when she's trying to get her dad back and and get her mum out and would you say her dad
23:54played by the amazing david morrissey yes he's so brilliant so brilliant and it's actually bad how
23:59funny he is it's bad we can't get through the day when i can get through a day without ruining a million
24:06takes people actually come and say well done to me the crew come up and go you only corpse like six
24:12times today well done it's just so much fun and of course it's filmed in your hometown stockport yes
24:19yes it's lovely yeah i didn't say anything i know i know i don't know why i'm always like stop what
24:27joke's coming no do you actually film it there or is it just set there no we film it there and it's
24:32and it's really fun the first season i have people coming over going like i know your auntie you know
24:37it's like it's very cozy and nice but also we get a lot of hecklers whenever we film on a certain
24:43street in stockport it's like what's it going to be today um so it's fun it's like a greek chorus
24:52we've got a clip and this is you as jemma sort of getting back out there after the birth of your baby
24:57yeah it's like she wrote it i mean it's written in the stars written in the stars and uh kira knightley
25:14you have a personal connection with daddy issues my husband does the music he does yeah so i'm not
25:21it's really good oh yeah it's really good i haven't seen it no i live with your face in my house because
25:26he works from the house so i've literally i've seen it all it's great wow and the music's really
25:31good the music's really good the music's really good yeah do you choose not to watch it no i've seen
25:35the first one but i haven't sorry i don't know why i screamed i've seen the first one yeah but i
25:44haven't seen the second yet okay not out of choice i've just not been sent it oh so i have seen the
25:50second it's great i've seen it yeah it's intended to me why can't i see it i really feel like you should
25:56be able to see it yes i'll ask for it yeah should we go and have a drink
26:04and amy here you are back on the on the bbc uh and it i you're probably very sick about talking about
26:11the white lotus but that show the white lotus the attention that that show brought you has it kind
26:19of changed your life yes yeah yes because like there's movies happening now and all sorts yeah
26:25yeah it's very intense it's very intense it is people kept saying your life's going to change your
26:30life's going to change and i was i was kind of going but i don't want it to i just want to play this part
26:35but then and i kind of thought everyone was being dramatic and then i realized they weren't being
26:40dramatic it's a big you know i was going to go and getting coffee on my street that no one knows
26:45where i live and then all of a sudden i'm being filmed it was just that stuff so are you are you
26:50getting the kira thing of people yeah and i've just thought that's what i need to do you won't get
26:56your coffee which is annoying but yeah but they could just replace the coffee in my there you go yeah
27:01yeah but here's the thing uh there were lots of fan theories about you know because we knew
27:08something bad was going to happen yes there were lots of fan theories about what might have happened
27:11yeah somebody worked it out i did you did i okay i've got a thing where i always guess what's going
27:17to happen in a tv show and it causes big problems between me and my husband because quite often i'm
27:22right and then i ruin the whole thing for him so now i have to write it down on a piece of paper and
27:27hide it somewhere so when i think about it i write it down and then it's hidden in a book
27:31and then at the end of it if i'm right if i'm wrong i just forget about it but if i'm right
27:36i got it and i was right i killed you off before you got killed off i was like she's gone she's too
27:41nice she's gone well done yeah thank you well didn't you guess who also who did the shooting
27:47no i didn't guess who did the shooting but i guessed the dad thing the i guess that he was the dad of the
27:52other guy and i guessed that early on too i was i was like because i know malala you watch white
27:56lurid as well didn't you yes i didn't guess anything okay it was a terrible surprise it's fine
28:04and uh amy you also uh had an impact on malala because one of your first jobs i think you binge
28:11watched i know sex education and i yeah and i watched it it sounds different when you say it malala
28:23because i truly watched it as an educational show i actually learned a lot like honestly
28:28i'm glad to have been of service yeah that's so cool was that your first ever screen job it was yes
28:37yes which was quite daunting i imagine because to be straight out of drama school and yeah yeah it
28:42was very daunting and we all kept being like it's just going to go under the radar it's just one and
28:46we're just we're happy with that it's going to be under the radar and then it wasn't under the radar
28:49no but you you won a bafta for it yes there you go yeah filming these things it did look fab you know
29:01you're staying in a fabulous hotel uh you just did the the women in in cabin 10. how expensive was
29:06that super yacht you were filming something like 160 million for the super yacht if you've got that
29:11in spare change you can buy that super yacht wow and was it fabulous no i was really excited because
29:16i was like oh i never get to you know film anywhere glamorous and now it's a super yacht and there'll be
29:19champagne it'll be gorgeous and instead it was like we were crammed together we weren't allowed to
29:24touch anything you weren't allowed to sit on anything because it was too expensive you weren't
29:27allowed to walk on the carpets because they were too expensive so we were all sort of like that we
29:31weren't allowed to drink anything it was um and there was a woman whose job it was to fluff up
29:36the carpets so she was a carpet fluffer one might say and if you put your toe on it then you got hit
29:42on the back of your leg to get off the carpet to i i had such hatred over this piece of carpet it was
29:48quite extraordinary but um it was always fluffed wow that's her job yeah i mean i think she was chairs as
29:55well so the chairs but it appeared a lot of carpet fluffing and we all know what a fluffer is
30:01traditionally if you get hired as a fluffer and then you realize you've only got to do the carpet
30:06you'll be made up we're not explaining malala
30:12you know what a fluffer is no just leave it oh okay remember the star sign said it was going to go
30:21well yeah leave it okay thank you guys i think the gemini's being too chatty
30:31just a quick reminder uh av's latest show daddy issues kicks off on the bbc next month okay
30:38we turn to chris vcausland his autobiography is called keep laughing it is also out now and i'm
30:50struck with you know you are a young man chris so a life story a memoir why did you decide to do it
30:56now i mean penguin asked me if i wanted to do it towards the end of last year and then they a stroke
31:02of genius on there but they put it on sale um on a pre-order before i started writing anything of it
31:09there is there is i mean i'm a procrastinator at the best of times there is nothing like a book
31:14being on sale that doesn't exist to make you write a book yeah that would motivate you oh you know i'm
31:2148 and like you can write a book at any it depends what it's about doesn't it but you know there's kind
31:27of three parts to it really i suppose and and you know losing me sight for 25 years becoming a comedian
31:35and getting to do telly and then obviously strictly really which felt like a really kind of positive
31:42good end for that kind of part of the story and i heard you talking and you thought that writing that
31:48first 25 years was going to be the difficult bit describing your your your sight getting worse
31:53yeah well i mean talking about like being a kid and losing my sight and stuff and i was like well
31:58who's want to read this this is and also i'm a bloke from liverpool who grew up in liverpool in the 80s
32:03i'm quite close i dig a hole i bury things in and i i put a front on for people to see you know and and
32:10once you've kind of cried on the telly in front of 10 million people you feel a lot more open about
32:14things and so i i thought that would be the hardest bit to write because i know what i'm like and and
32:21but it actually ended up being like the most what i thought was the most kind of interesting and
32:26an original part and then when you get to the stuff about being a comedian which i thought would be the
32:31stuff that was easiest because it's what i do and it's what i love and you can be really funny about
32:37being a comedian and stuff you kind of get to that bit and you go this is the bit every comedian's got
32:41in their book so this is actually it's harder to make this bit from an original perspective if you
32:46know what i mean compared to the whole first bit which is really just you know my own story that no
32:51one else has really well as you say the book has a fabulous conclusion with your your triumph on
32:57strictly and certainly that is something you are justifiably really proud of aren't you yeah i mean
33:04it's it's mad you know because like it wasn't on my radar and i knew nothing about it and it was
33:09but it's the most proud of anything i've ever been you know and it's um everything i've ever
33:14done in comedy apart from that very first gig which was a dare to give it a go but everything
33:19else has been incremental it's always you know last time i was on graham i was talking about like
33:24making a christmas film with lee i'd never done a with lee mack i'd never done a film before but
33:28it's still within my wheelhouse it's expanding your comedy chops you know and yeah and and doing
33:34something that's very much within what your job and your skill set is whereas this was so far out
33:39my comfort zone it was such an unknown and it was so intensive and consuming and terrifying the most
33:46terrifying thing i've ever done in my life and and for us to kind of maintain it for four months and
33:51and for it to connect with people the way that it did it's um it honestly i couldn't i couldn't be
33:56prouder of it you know so yeah it feels like a good work and very quickly because there's a story you
34:06tell you used to do material about your daughter how old was you when this happened was you two or
34:11something so the first um kind of break i had on on mainstream telly was live at the apollo and i had
34:16this bit of material about my daughter being a baby and i'd do her poo in the bath and um and she she kind
34:22of noticed it floating past her and she she handed it to me and asked me what it said what's that
34:28daddy and i had to sniff it to find out the joke was kind of i kind of i i told the story but i kind
34:38of put myself into her head as if she knew what she was doing like like you know just saying to her
34:43little toy penguin watch this mr penguin i'm going to ask him ask him with his ice cream or whatever
34:47yeah i know i did this bit of material it's the only bit of my stand-up my daughter saw like for
34:51years of mine when she was older and she thought that's all i did for a living she just thought i
34:57went out and i told rooms full of people that she shit in the bath and then when she kind of she learned
35:04that like obviously i went out and that's how i earned money and i paid for like you know food and
35:09everything and and all because i went out and i told this story and she was like god thank god i did that
35:14shit in the battle we'd have nothing she said to me and she must have been about 10 at this point
35:22and she said to me i said i was going out to do a gig in london and she said can i come daddy i said
35:27no she said when can i come i said when you're 18 yeah and she said and you can be on stage and you
35:32can tell everybody that i did a poo in the bath and then at the end i can come on and go hey everybody it
35:37was me
35:51time for music this grammy winning british band has had three number one albums and headlined glastonbury
35:58and are joined tonight by an irish superstar collaborating for the first time on their new
36:02single rubber band man it is mumford and sounds with hosier
36:08beautiful job i think marcus and hosier are coming over to see us
36:14come on over there you go
36:18hi marcus really nice to see you again
36:21there you go uh lovely thank you so much for that performance what a gorgeous gorgeous
36:42thing and uh star signs stars and pisces oh yes yes my boyfriend thought you were a pisces okay
36:55yeah what does that mean he's gonna sing a song
37:00oh yeah they are the dreamers yeah oh okay marcus what are you uh aquarius
37:05saying oh what does that mean weird cool
37:10it's really worked out so far
37:13i have to say that uh rubber band man is off this just announced album uh prize fighter i haven't
37:19seen that yet there you go yeah that's how new it is so uh how did it happen how did the two of
37:25you get together the band and you get together yeah it was our first collaboration on record
37:30we've known each other for a long time we've collaborated live a number of times friends for
37:35a long time and then we sent andrew a bunch of demos for this new record we were working on
37:42yeah and you listened and yeah you sent me some notes no i sent the entire album in fact which was
37:48like i think that's so rare when you do a collab like this and to be given the whole body of work
37:54and i think you you just said just listen through and if there's something that connects that you
37:57connect with you as well if there's a song that you love and so it was a real treat i could
38:00to listen to and why why this song i just love the i think the lyrics are stunning i i didn't even
38:06know where the oh yeah so no so this is there's a weird story behind the lyrics tell us it's very
38:11aquarius actually oh yeah um brandy carlyle who's a mutual friend of ours um i think she had a dream
38:23about me in a non-weird way and um and wrote wrote me a text message with a bunch of lyrics
38:30which became the verse for rubber band man she's like she's like a sister to many of us and
38:37and sort of like a soothsayer as well and she had these words that she felt were for me
38:42and it was the verse lyrics for rubber band man so i turned it into a song wow yeah and uh and a very
38:47nice time for a hostia because you've just finished a very long tour yes yeah i've been out of a suitcase
38:53just about three years maybe just over three years yeah so um so i'm winding down and the guys are
38:58getting ready for a like a hurricane it's very sweet of him to be up for this yeah but no it's a nice
39:03it's like it's like it's supposed to be on your holidays delighted no just a nice little thing to do
39:07and as you say uh mark you're touring this year and it goes right into next year yeah it's no three
39:11year tour though is it well not well well not yet yeah yeah listen we've uh loved having you on the
39:19show thank you so much for that uh performance and good luck with the collaboration and the new album
39:23very good
39:27right that is nearly it before we go and just time for a quick visit to the big red chair uh who do we have
39:35hello hello hi what's your name i'm jennifer jennifer lovely and where are you from jennifer uh central
39:40new york state okay central new york state very specific i like it if i do on a map and uh do you
39:47live there still or live here no no i live there oh right so you're just on holiday yep yeah we just
39:52arrived this morning oh my goodness wow how long are you staying for a week okay uh touring around or just
39:58in london or no we're going to tour around a little bit okay now where are you heading um from here we're
40:03going to head up to the cotswolds for a few days what a lovely idea no off you go with your story
40:12okay so i'm a veterinarian um and one day this guy brings his dog in to see me because he's been
40:18vomiting the dog's been vomiting and i do some diagnostics and i ascertain that this dog has
40:23something um stuck in his small intestine and needs surgery so i take the dog to surgery remove
40:29what it is that's blocking him and the next day i'm getting the dog ready to go home the wife comes
40:34in to pick him up and i give the dog the owner what i took out of the dog's intestines which was
40:41a pair of women's panties and they're not minivan panties they are lamborghini panties and so i give
40:49her these panties in the plastic bag and i said this is what you paid for essentially and she looked at
40:55them and she said these aren't my underwear great story there you go you can walk i'm not even done
41:05i can walk oh there's more oh there's more oh let's go with them more yes so i it's me the dog and this
41:11homicidal woman and i look at the dog and i'm thinking buddy i don't know who's going to get you in
41:17the divorce but you ain't no man's best friend right now you can walk you walk go go go walk yes
41:25very good lovely
41:27and that's really all we've got time for you have to go to the red show yourself and tell your story
41:33you contact us via our website this is very addressed and please say a huge thank you to all of our guests
41:36mumpet has hunted hosier
41:40chris mcgorsen amy lewood
41:47malala yousafzai
41:50and keira knightley
41:54join me next week with pop superstar ed sheeran comedian jack dwighthall salt burn star rosamund pike
42:00and hollywood leading man glenn powell i'll see you then goodnight everybody bye
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