- 4 months ago
Season 2 Episode 1 | Cinepack | 512x384 | 22m27s | 175 MB
girlsnextdoor reality playboy
girlsnextdoor reality playboy
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TVTranscript
00:01Now strip.
00:11Hef, here I come for you, baby.
00:14Oh, there it is!
00:20I'm a bad-ass bitch.
00:23That's been a naughty boy.
00:30He's a naughty! He's a naughty!
00:34Come on to my house, come on to my house.
00:37I'm gonna give you candy.
00:41Come on to my house, come on to my house.
00:44I'm gonna give you cigs and dits and grips and kicks.
00:50Come on to my house, my house, come on.
01:00It is Hef's 80th birthday, and since that's a big round number,
01:06he wants to make a really big deal out of it.
01:08Happy birthday to me.
01:11Every year, Hef throws a big party for his birthday.
01:13In the past, like in the 70s, they used to have birthday Olympics
01:17and birthday roasts and birthday variety shows.
01:22If you'll sing it with me, I will sing Thank Heaven for Little Girls.
01:27After all, I guess that's really what it's all about.
01:30Hef doesn't just have a birthday.
01:31He has a birthday weekend.
01:33Tonight is Casablanca night.
01:34He's gonna show his favorite movie, Casablanca.
01:37Everybody's gonna get all dressed up formal.
01:39We're gonna have champagne and caviar.
01:41So that's gonna be a treat.
01:42And tomorrow night is his actual birthday party.
01:45We pack the guest list with celebrities and beautiful people.
01:49We have painted ladies at the party, and this year,
01:52there's six Mafia's gonna perform.
01:53So it's always a really big deal, but this year,
01:55I think it's gonna be even bigger.
02:07This is gonna be trial and error.
02:08I can tell already.
02:10So Hef's birthday present has taken me almost two months
02:13to get together.
02:14I've totally taped the tissue paper down in here,
02:16but I need your help to help me put it on.
02:19Okay, get in there.
02:21I didn't know what to get Hef for his birthday,
02:23and for like the last three years,
02:25I've been wanting to jump out of a birthday cake for him.
02:27Can I believe that's not tight enough?
02:29What?
02:30It's barely tight.
02:31And this year, I decided, you know what?
02:33It's his 80th.
02:34I've got to do it.
02:36Yeah, the pegs go in the way.
02:37Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
02:38But we can't do it yet.
02:39Just like put it where it's supposed to go
02:40and then tilt it up.
02:41Are you sure you've got it?
02:48Yeah!
02:49Oh, this is a whole nother experience.
02:51Wait, you haven't used the tissue yet?
02:53No!
02:54This is crazy.
02:58Okay.
02:59You want me to play?
03:00Oh, yeah.
03:01Could you hit play?
03:02Yeah.
03:03Don't get too excited.
03:04Oh, my God.
03:05This is a little claustrophobic now.
03:07Calm down.
03:09I'm nervous, Crystal.
03:12I'm hyperventilating.
03:14I hope it goes everywhere.
03:16Take a deep breath.
03:19Woo!
03:20That's cool.
03:22I guess it works.
03:24I like it.
03:29It makes it feel even more fun.
03:32Want to know what I got Hef for his birthday?
03:45What?
03:46First, I have to go peek to make sure he's not around the corner.
03:49He can't hear anyways.
03:50Hef is a really hard man to buy for because he already has everything and more.
03:54So, I was thinking all year about what I was going to get him and I thought of one thing.
04:01I got him two white peacocks.
04:04Two white peacocks like we had before?
04:07Yeah, because they died a long time ago.
04:09I miss the white peacocks, so.
04:11I know, because they were beautiful.
04:12They looked like lace.
04:13Yeah, and Ish from the animal department, he tracked down two and they came in from Vegas.
04:18We ordered them from Vegas and they're in quarantine, so they're in the backyard.
04:22I'm just going to take Hef back to the shed like on Casablanca night.
04:26But the funny thing that Ish told me is that the other peacocks, they know that there's two peacocks back there and they're excited.
04:32Yeah, but then how are you going to keep the boy from doing the gray ones?
04:37And all of a sudden you're going to have all gray peacocks.
04:39Why is your mind in the gutter?
04:41Maybe they're excited because they want to make friends.
04:44Maybe he'll do everybody and we'll have all kinds of peacocks.
04:49That's right.
04:53Look it, Hef gave me an anniversary card this morning.
04:57It's been two years since the day I've met Hef.
04:59Because I met him at his 78th birthday party when I was body painted and everything, you know?
05:04Hello.
05:09He says, Happy anniversary, honey.
05:12I still get a thrill of you.
05:15Love and kisses, Hef.
05:18Everything was perfect timing, the way it all lit up.
05:21And I'm happy that we met on his birthdays because, you know, I'm really bad at memorizing like anniversaries and stuff like that.
05:27He got him.
05:28Oh, yeah, I got him that.
05:32See?
05:33It's like L.A. Confidential, but it's Playboy Mansion Confidential.
05:39And it's like black and white.
05:42Nothing special like British and Holly's.
05:44I think Holly is special.
05:45It's really hard getting Hef a birthday present.
05:50And this year is extra hard because the big 8-0.
05:56You think you like it?
05:57Very like me.
05:58Like I always, every single thing I look at.
05:59Do you like it?
06:00I love it.
06:02This is boring.
06:05Yes.
06:06Winnie's totally chasing kids right now.
06:18Winnie, be nice.
06:21Winnie!
06:23Grandma and Grandpa are excited to see you.
06:26I'm really excited because today my parents are coming into town for a short visit.
06:30Who's ready?
06:31Who's ready to go get them?
06:32Go to the airport.
06:34Come on.
06:38Honey, I'm so excited that's your birthday.
06:41It is?
06:42Yeah, I'm so excited.
06:43It's my birthday?
06:44It means a lot to me that's your birthday.
06:45Does it?
06:46Yes.
06:47Well, it means a lot to me that it means a lot to you.
06:48It means a lot to me that I can spend it with you.
06:50That's the most important thing.
06:51I agree.
06:53You know that tonight, and you dress any way you like.
06:56Oh, no.
06:57Oh, no.
06:58I have a hot dress, honey.
07:00For the 40s?
07:01What?
07:0240s?
07:03It's Casablanca night.
07:04Oh, believe me.
07:05It's a 40s dress.
07:06Okay.
07:07Great.
07:08It's okay.
07:14Winnie!
07:15How are you doing, Holly?
07:16Hi, Holly.
07:17How's it going?
07:18How's it going?
07:19Good to see you.
07:20Are you guys excited to be here?
07:21Oh, yeah.
07:22Yeah.
07:23So how long are you guys going to be here?
07:24Let's go inside.
07:25Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:26Come on, pugs.
07:27Winnie, come on.
07:28Let's go inside and get a treat.
07:29Can I get a treat?
07:30Yeah, good girl.
07:31Now here goes the barking.
07:33Hi, honey.
07:34Hey.
07:35Where'd you go?
07:36Come on, baby.
07:37Show a call.
07:38Oh, hi.
07:39How are you?
07:40How are you?
07:41Very well.
07:42Happy birthday.
07:43Oh, yeah.
07:45So I went and picked him up at the airport, and we came back here, and we had lunch, and
07:49had a few gears.
07:50Well, here's to vacation time.
07:52Because I love hanging out with my parents, and my family is just great, and it's a lot
07:56of fun having them.
07:57Thank you very much.
08:01Now we can start the party.
08:02I wanted to look as good as possible for my striptease, so I was trying to modify my diet,
08:08maybe just a little bit.
08:09Chicken is nice and warm.
08:11Oh, man.
08:12Mmm.
08:13Mmm.
08:14I don't think I've ever had chicken Caesar salad.
08:17The chicken was warm.
08:18Uh-huh.
08:19Wow.
08:20It's good, huh?
08:22It's delicious.
08:23I'm trying to be super healthy until this striptease happens.
08:28I'm telling your mom you wanted to take us out for lunch, or this is...
08:33Fantastic.
08:34That looks pretty good.
08:36Those carrots look good.
08:37Mmm.
08:38Look how smooth it is.
08:40Mmm.
08:41Mmm.
08:42Mmm.
08:47Good stuff.
08:48Good stuff.
08:49The more you have it, the better it tastes.
08:58Hi, honey!
09:00Oh!
09:01That's cool!
09:03Look, are those supposed to be gunshots?
09:05That's what it's supposed to be.
09:06Oh, that's cool.
09:07That's a real secret.
09:08Oh!
09:09Wow!
09:10This is yours.
09:11Aw!
09:12Thank you, honey!
09:13It was intended for you.
09:14Aw!
09:15It's so cute!
09:16Oh, honey, girl.
09:17By the way, the Capone is for your gangster Kendra.
09:24Oh!
09:25Give her our best along with Holly and Bridget.
09:26Oh my God!
09:27This is really for me?
09:29It is for you.
09:30What?
09:31Of course.
09:32What?
09:33Blot!
09:34I mean, I didn't even see that part.
09:35Oh, I didn't see it either.
09:36You wrote that.
09:37Oh, I didn't see it either.
09:38You wrote that.
09:39No, I didn't.
09:40I asked.
09:41Oh, nice.
09:42That's a real signature.
09:43Oh.
09:44It's like his birthday, but I could present.
09:49Ready?
09:50Yeah.
09:51All right.
09:52Woo!
09:53After we had lunch, I drove them over to the bunny house, and I made them watch a dress
09:57rehearsal of my striptease routine, because they weren't going to be able to come to the
10:00party and see it, and I really wanted to see what they thought, because I don't think
10:03they've ever seen a burlesque dance done.
10:06Oh, that's so cute.
10:08That turned out really cool.
10:10It looks like frosting.
10:12Frosting.
10:13Yeah.
10:14I'm not modest to strip in front of my family at all.
10:16And I had the pasties and a g-string on.
10:18That's practically dressed.
10:19Well, I just want everyone to know that I've never tried to do it with these pasties
10:23before, so we'll see.
10:24Well, what'd you have on before?
10:25Just like the...
10:26I just did it nude.
10:27Oh.
10:28Good lord.
10:29Oh.
10:30Oh.
10:35Oh.
10:36Oh.
10:40When I was stripping, I realized it's one of my favorite things to do.
11:08Maybe another career goal.
11:12It's time to go.
11:22I can't decide.
11:25Wow, they make shiny material like this?
11:28It's gorgeous.
11:29Casablanca night.
11:30It's just a very formal night.
11:32And we watch Casablanca and then afterwards they do caviar and candlelight
11:36and a big Casablanca cake for half.
11:39So it's an event, not just a movie.
11:41Too much, huh?
11:43Kind of Ivanka Trump-ish.
11:48At 6 o'clock, I want to give you your present, honey.
11:52All right.
11:53Is that up here or?
11:55Down there.
11:56Down there.
11:57Because the night was Casablanca themed, I wanted to wear something that kind of looked old Hollywood
12:02and was really glamorous.
12:04So I wore a dress that was worthy of a 1940s movie star because that's what I wanted to look like.
12:10The week before the Casablanca night, I was really sick and I lost some weight, you know?
12:28So I went and got my dress fitted and I put it on and I am like,
12:33I can't breathe.
12:35It was so tight on me.
12:37Oh my God.
12:38Damn, my ass looks good in this thing.
12:40Oh my God.
12:41Damn, look at that.
12:43Right there.
12:44I never thought I had this booty.
12:46Check up on it.
12:48Damn, I need to be in a rap video right now.
12:53Okay.
12:54I'm bored.
12:55Handsome puffin.
12:56Beautiful baby.
12:57When Hef gets dressed up formal, I'm always there to help him with his bow tie and things
13:06like that.
13:07I enjoy any alone time I have with Hef, even if it's before a big party.
13:11And after you greet everybody, I'm going to take you in the backyard and show you your birthday
13:15present.
13:16In the backyard?
13:17Yeah.
13:18Okay, girl.
13:19Okay.
13:20Okay.
13:21Okay.
13:22I'm in here.
13:24I'm in here.
13:25Okay.
13:26Okay.
13:27I'm in.
13:28I'm out.
13:29Okay.
13:31Okay.
13:32Let's see.
13:33Okay.
13:34Okay.
13:35Alright.
13:36Okay.
13:38That's fire.
13:39I'm out.
13:40All right.
13:41Okay.
13:42I'll see.
13:43Thanks.
13:44Okay, mom.
13:45Oh, okay.
13:46Okay.
13:47All right.
13:48Dallas and San Antonio!
14:05Fuck Casablanca Night!
14:11Hi!
14:14Happy Casablanca!
14:18Hi guys!
14:19On Casablanca Night, we've kind of turned it into a whole shebang with dressing up.
14:24I can't walk in this shit.
14:25Oh my god, I can't walk in this thing.
14:27Going into Rick's Cafe afterwards where there's caviar and champagne.
14:32And I'm really excited about it.
14:35I told him I want to show you your birthday present at 6, but it's already like 10 past 6.
14:40And you know he's going to talk to everybody for 5 hours.
14:43Yeah.
14:44Where's Kendra? Does she want to go?
14:46Do we get to go?
14:47Yeah!
14:48Okay.
14:49Okay.
14:50Ooh la la!
14:52Go, go, go, go!
14:53Thank you!
14:54Pop it!
14:55Yay!
14:56Look at the picture of my mother.
14:57And I'll give you a present.
14:58Yay!
14:59Yay!
15:00Yay!
15:01Yay!
15:02Yay!
15:03Yay!
15:04Yay!
15:05Yay!
15:06Yay!
15:07Yay!
15:08Yay!
15:09Yay!
15:10Yay!
15:11Yay!
15:12Yay!
15:13Yay!
15:14Yay!
15:15Yay!
15:17Indeed!
15:18I know I do this thing that I'm aware.
15:21What could it be, Lee?
15:23Creo wallahua…
15:24The tent was up so I couldn't figure out how to get back to the quarantines since my usual
15:26path was blocked.
15:27Ooh!
15:28I have to go behind there!
15:29You want to get back to there?
15:30Yeah.
15:31No, don't we have to go through here?
15:32Oh!
15:33It's all the way around the back.
15:34It's right in my ankle, I know it.
15:35We can't move in this thing!
15:37We had to do a long trek all the way out to see the peacocks, and it was further than
15:44Kendra and I thought it was, and she was all tight in that corset dress.
15:48So we had to try and find our way across the stream.
15:53Oh, hell no!
15:55I can't spread my legs that wide.
15:57And over the hill...
15:58I remember Bogart having to go through all this.
16:01...to the peacock cage.
16:03Happy birthday, honey!
16:08Well, perhaps we'll never see.
16:11I only care about opening the presents.
16:18It's a boy and a girl!
16:21Hi, guys!
16:23Honey, what would you like to name them?
16:26You should call them Harlow and Bogart.
16:28Or Rick and Elsa.
16:30How about Casa Blanca?
16:32I kind of like that.
16:33What?
16:34Casa Blanca.
16:35Casa and Blanca.
16:36Okay.
16:37I like it.
16:38I think Casa and Blanca is good.
16:39I kind of consider the peacocks I gave have to be love birds.
16:43I love white peacocks.
16:44That's a wonderful gift, honey.
16:46I'm glad you like it.
16:47I hope they reproduce, and then we'll have a lot of white peacocks one day.
16:51Nice to be here, Casa Blanca night.
17:01Nice to be here, Casa Blanca night.
17:02Nice to take my neck out for nobody, but in your case, I'll make an exception.
17:07Here's looking at us, kid.
17:09Here's looking at us.
17:10Olive has friends come to Casa Blanca night, but they just look different because they're
17:14all dressed up.
17:18And it's movie time, boys and girls.
17:20Man, this thing is so uncomfortable.
17:22I don't know if I'm going to be able to sit there.
17:36Tonight, we celebrate the 14th anniversary of our own Casa Blanca club.
17:41We run it every year as part of my birthday celebration, and it just keeps getting better
17:45and better as time goes by.
17:49I won't attempt to read any notes because most of you know this film almost line for
17:54line.
17:55After the movie, Champagne and Caviar by Candlelight at Rick's Cafe, across the hall.
18:02Perfect.
18:03The movie just started.
18:04We have about an hour and 32 minutes.
18:06We need to turn this whole place into the Cafe Americana.
18:09Do we need to clear this whole space out?
18:11Oh, no.
18:12So we've got to put all the caviar.
18:13Rick's Cafe is the bar and casino owned by Humphrey Bogart's character in the movie.
18:20So that's what we call our dining room after we're done showing the film.
18:23I want a table here and I want a table there.
18:26Hurry up, strike this buffet, start bringing out the cloths, bringing out all the candelabras,
18:30kind of the sauce.
18:31So when they come out of there, it's caviar night.
18:43During Casablanca, I was like sitting there like...
18:51Yeah, I had to change.
19:01I changed in some jeans.
19:02I wanted it to be more comfortable.
19:05Ah, much better.
19:06I'm trying to be really good before the striptease, but it's hard when there's like birthday cake
19:22every night.
19:27Ooh, delicious cake.
19:28I'm tempted to have some even though I'm sweeted out.
19:33A lot of cake?
19:37Mmm, that's so sexy.
19:41I think I'm gonna have some cake.
19:42I can't see it.
19:48I ate more cake than everybody else.
19:54Every time Heft screens a movie here, I draw him a cartoon.
19:57But since this is the fifth year I've seen Casablanca here, I've got out every dirty joke in the book.
20:02So this year, I just drew a cartoon with Heft saying,
20:06this looks like the beginning of a beautiful weekend.
20:08And I drew me with the two peacocks.
20:12Perfect.
20:17I will.
20:18Look at that.
20:21I'm kind of worried about my present to Heft.
20:23I mean, nothing can top white peacocks.
20:28The boy and the girl.
20:30Nothing can top a fucking striptease.
20:34I think both of those presents were like the best for him.
20:36You know what we should do the Fridays before our birthdays?
20:41We should have a night that's themed of our favorite movies.
20:45Yeah!
20:46As a film, I love Casablanca.
20:47But as a love story, I don't know.
20:49I mean, a girl who can't make up her mind.
20:52Come on.
20:54Honey, here comes some presents.
20:56If you're in love with one person, you're in love with one person.
20:59And other people don't come along.
21:02Quiet.
21:04Bridget!
21:05And on.
21:12Get ready for tomorrow.
21:14I'm ready.
21:15You're ready already?
21:16Yep.
21:18See you guys.
21:20I've been smiling all day long.
21:22Hey c'mon.
21:25My house, my house.
21:28I'll give you desley.
21:35I'm gonna give you tiggs and dates and grips and cakes.
21:41Hey!
21:43Come on, come on, come on
22:13Come on
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