Babygirl, Explained: Problematic or Empowering?

The Take Film TV Movie

Babygirl, the new movie starring Nicole Kidman, has been getting a lot of awards buzz but also causing its own bit of controversy. Falling into the so-called ‘year of the MILF’ cannon and...

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00:00Baby Girl, the new movie starring Nicole Kidman, has been getting a lot of awards buzz,

00:04but also causing its own bit of controversy. Falling into the so-called year of the MILF

00:09canon and bringing back 90s-era erotic thriller vibes, the movie has gotten a lot of people

00:14talking. Though not everyone is sure what exactly the movie itself is trying to say.

00:20So what is the actual point of Baby Girl? And what's with the milk? Let's take a closer look.

00:25Baby Girl stars Nicole Kidman as Romy, a high-powered CEO living a successful but banal life in New York

00:31City. While she has all of the outward trappings of the perfect life, high-paying job, big house,

00:36loving family, there's clearly something missing. Her relationship with her husband, played by Antonio

00:42Banderas, is loving, but we quickly learn that for Romy, there's a certain spark missing. At work,

00:48she's carved out her own place of power, but she's also constantly having to walk the line of being

00:53strong while also simultaneously being soft and approachable. In all aspects of her life,

00:59there's a tug of war between what she feels inside and how she must present herself.

01:03She knows she's in trouble inside, but she's not sure what's going on or why. There's this

01:12restlessness and there's this crisis, interior crisis that's percolating.

01:18She becomes interested in a young man she runs into, taming a large dog who almost attacked her

01:23on her way to work, and soon finds out that he's her company's new intern, Samuel, played by Harris

01:28Dickinson. He can somehow read her like a book, and knows that what she really wants is to be under

01:33someone's thumb. Pushes her to become his mentor at work, even though as CEO, she's generally much too

01:40senior to mentor interns. But she acquiesces and very quickly the mentorship turns into a full-blown

01:46affair, where Samuel is the one calling the shot. The big point of intrigue to audiences is the film's

01:52play with power dynamics. As a rich CEO, Romy is clearly a very powerful person, but Samuel also

01:58reminds her that now he has power over her, because he could ruin that very career. The fact that if anyone

02:05found out about the affair, Romy would certainly lose her job and the entire life she's worked for.

02:11Works as a ticking time bomb to keep the thrill of danger running throughout the movie.

02:15But of course, these power dynamics also raise a lot of questions. The film works to explore the

02:21intertwined dynamics of sexuality and power, but also the interplay of power more generally in multiple

02:26different arenas and how they all intersect. We see the dynamics of the corporate world, not only in

02:31a CEO-intern relationship, which we'll analyze in a moment, but also in Romy having to navigate the

02:36working world and figure out how to survive and strive in a world of men, while also fitting into

02:41the moderate expectations of how a corporate leader should behave. At home, she faces similar

02:46expectations of splitting the parts of herself and doing the work, while also sanding down her rough

02:51edges. Her relationships with her husband and children are all loving, but also strained to a

02:57certain degree because of the distance this creates. And this all connects to the major power

03:01dynamic that the film itself is interested in exploring. Romy versus herself, the way she's had

03:07to overpower certain aspects of her personality to fit into all of these worlds, and what it truly

03:12means for her to begin breaking out of this shell. She's powerful in every other aspect of her life,

03:17but, we quickly find out, wants to be dominated in the bedroom. It does at first very much feel like

03:23it's playing into the old-school cliché that assumes that women don't really want power,

03:27and are always secretly looking for someone to take over. This became a feature of stories as

03:32women were starting to really gain power in the corporate world in the 80s and 90s, in particular.

03:36This is a trope the movie itself is playing with, but also something that Romy herself would have

03:41encountered as she was entering the working world. Instead of playing into the trope, however,

03:46Phil manages to subvert it in subtle ways through her growth journey and her relationship with Samuel.

03:51But before we get into that, we should of course talk about the major power dynamic at the center

03:55of the film that has become audience's main point of interest, the age gap. Age gap relationships

04:00generally already inherently have a power dynamic that favors the older and more experienced person

04:05in the couple. This issue arises because the older party has more life experience and often more

04:10financial stability, which can make it easier for them to control the younger person. That gets

04:15extended even more when, like in Baby Girl, the older person is also in a literal position of power

04:20over the younger one. In this case, she's not only his boss, but the CEO of the entire company.

04:25These power dynamics can of course exist in relationships of any genders or numbers of

04:29members, but due to the influence of heteronormativity on screen, the split we often see is, it's generally

04:35historically been seen as normal or even expected for older men to date younger women. And often any

04:40upset about the relationship was placed on the woman rather than the man. For example, saying that

04:45she's a gold digger or that she was the one who seduced and thus has power over him.

04:49You think I don't know what they're thinking? Ah, here comes the hot one with the big movies that

04:54is going to steal my husband. Baby Girl writer director Helena Rang briefly touched on the older

04:59man-younger woman age gap in her previous film, Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, with Alice and her considerably

05:04older boyfriend. She hand waves away any issues her friends bring up about him and his age at first,

05:09but we also see how much he doesn't fit into the dynamic with these young people,

05:13leading to some obvious questions about their relationship. And once things start going

05:17sideways, Alice begins to worry that there's a lot she didn't really know about this guy.

05:23When the genders are flipped and the man is the younger party, it's pretty much always framed as

05:27a conquest for the young man, a way to prove his sexual prowess by getting with a more experienced

05:32woman. This has allowed many darker aspects of these kinds of relationships to be overlooked

05:42under the assumption that it's always just a positive learning experience for the boys,

05:47even when he isn't enjoying it.

05:49I want you to know that I'm available to you, and if you won't sleep with me this day...

05:52Oh my Christ.

05:53For women in these relationships, they're usually either branded as cougars or creeps,

05:57depending on if they're seen as hot and whether the story is a comedy or a drama.

06:01Age-grab relationships don't have to be damaging or negative, though. It's entirely possible to

06:12build a happy, loving relationship with someone who isn't the same age as you,

06:16as long as there's mutual respect and care.

06:18Why? What's wrong, babe?

06:20I don't want to talk about it.

06:21Do it anyways.

06:22Baby girl isn't unaware of the power dynamics at the center of its main relationship,

06:26and doesn't necessarily shy away from them. While Romy is older and in the corporate position of

06:31power, Samuel is given his own agency and kinds of power. He's the one who initiates their affair,

06:36sets the rules, and has the leverage of being able to ruin her career. While their relationship

06:41may not be totally equal, each is able to feel safe within it, which allows them to both explore

06:46new parts of themselves. All that being said, a question many walked away from the movie with is,

06:52so, well, what's the point? While the relationship between Romy and Samuel was a main focal point,

06:57the main thematic element the film was interested in exploring was that relationship between Romy

07:02and herself. Baby girl is very focused on Romy's inner life and complicated and conflicting desires,

07:08and exploring how all of those parts of herself intersect, instead of just being a run-of-the-mill

07:13sex thriller. There have been some comparisons to Fifty Shades of Grey,

07:16but they aren't really that bad. Sure, there's the submissive dominant element,

07:20but whereas in Fifty Shades of Grey it's very much framed as taking away control from Anna,

07:24here Romy is much more clearly finding a new kind of control. And the fact that she does have the

07:30upper hand in general life, money, a job, etc., also levels the playing field in her submissive role

07:35in a way that Anna didn't have. Samuel almost doesn't feel like a real person. He's immediately inside

07:41Romy's mind, knowing exactly what she wants and pushing towards it from the moment they meet.

07:46He at times feels more like a fantasy come to life than a real person, though this isn't on its own a

07:51totally bad thing. It allows the focus to stay on Romy and her emotional journey, and it does also add

07:56to the thriller aspect of the film. Since we don't really know much about him or what he's thinking,

08:02it heightens the danger and suspense, especially when he shows up at our house. But also what we do

08:07get to understand about Samuel makes it clear that he isn't some Christian Grey type taking out his issues

08:12on women he dates, but instead someone who wants their relationship to be consensual and enjoyable

08:16for both of them. The film is focused on Romy finding a new kind of power in learning to relinquish

08:22control. It can be a fine line between finding power and submission to another and just being

08:27straight up degrading on screen, but Baby Girl manages to keep itself from toppling over into the

08:31darkness. The most talked about scene in the film actually hasn't been any of the sex scenes, but instead

08:36the one where Romy drinks milk out of a saucer at Samuel's gate like a cat, a theme that's brought

08:40back later when he sends her a glass of milk to drink in front of her colleagues at a bar.

08:44Milk is associated with innocence and fragility. It's about her accepting these parts of herself

08:50in front of others that she's usually had to hide behind a wall of stoicness. The story is engaging

08:55for its willingness to dive into touchy or uncomfortable conversations of all stripes, not just in regards

09:00to sex, but even things like plastic surgery. Nicole Kidman herself has long been needled about her

09:06attempts to keep up with Hollywood's crushing beauty standards, and here Romy faces similar

09:10pressure and similar flack for her decision to get Botox, but she doesn't let the jabs of others

09:15around her stop her from doing what she wants to do. In past decades, a film like this would likely

09:19end with Romy facing major consequences, being taken to task for the power imbalance, the age gap,

09:24the cheating, the lying, but that doesn't really happen. On one hand, it feels odd and a bit lacking

09:30that nothing really comes of all of this, like the movie doesn't really want to dig too deeply into the

09:35ramifications of the dynamic gets set up, but on the other hand, the film's willingness to focus

09:39on personal growth instead of punishment allows for new room for discovery. Baby Girl is by no

09:45means a perfect film, and it's certainly not for everybody, but it is an interesting addition to

09:50the erotic thriller canon for its desire to focus on the experiences and personal growth

09:54of the characters instead of just functioning as a setup to watch them being punished for their

09:59immorality. That's the take! Click here to watch the video we think you'll love, or here to check

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