00:00So, Alice, before I go into all my questions about you and your life and your advocacy and all the stuff that you're working on, I do, you know, in the holiday spirit, because Christmas is my favorite time of year, also a strange time of, like, deep disappointment, which I will get to later if anybody wants to hear about the weird way my brain works.
00:24But what are the holidays like for you? Do you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or anything like that?
00:30I celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, all of them on repeat with people throughout the holiday season.
00:39There's only one official Christmas that I can spend with someone.
00:43And so all of December kind of just becomes like Christmas a la Groundhog's Day, where every day is Christmas that I'm spending with someone and celebrating the holidays.
00:54with that person.
00:56That's great. So do you generally, like, travel to other people's places for Christmas or do you have, like, anything at your house or does it just depend on the year?
01:06Kind of depends on the year. Usually I'm just so busy, I don't get a chance to set up much for my friends and my family.
01:13And so I kind of end up seeing them around Thanksgiving and doing all of the holiday stuff for Thanksgiving.
01:21And then I spend all of the holidays with my guests.
01:25Does Christmas give you as much, like, anxiety as it gives me and the rest of the world?
01:30Or is the fact that you don't set up for this big, like, at-home extravaganza?
01:36It sounds like you're kind of, like, rolling with the punches.
01:39So do you have, like, a kind of freedom from the stress that the holidays tend to bring to the rest of us?
01:45Yes, I do.
01:47So it's really nice. I don't have to cook. I don't have to clean. I don't have to deal with a crazy in-law.
01:54I just get to spend time with someone and get them a cute present and open up whatever cute little thing they got me.
02:01And just enjoy all the best parts of the holiday without the stress. I'm really spoiled.
02:06So basically what you're telling me is that you enjoy the holiday for what it's meant to be, which is spending time with your loved ones, not with decorating your house, buying the best presents, laying at the best charcuterie plate, like, cooking the biggest, like, roast duck, setting the table in the most perfect way.
02:25Is that what you're telling me?
02:26A hundred percent. Like, I have way too many cats to have, like, a Christmas tree.
02:31They would be climbing it so fast. It would be on the ground, completely destroyed in just minutes. Minutes.
02:41Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We just got a cat this year.
02:48And he's very rambunctious. And he loves to climb stuff and knock shit over. He's going to ruin my Christmas tree, isn't he?
02:58It's done for.
02:59Oh, my God. Christmas is ruined.
03:02Oh, no.
03:03Okay, so here's what you do is you get, like, one of the dog kennels, like, one of the big ones, and you stand it up on its side and you put the tree in the kennel so this way the cat can't climb the tree.
03:15I put a Christmas tree in a dog kennel.
03:17Yes. I'm telling you, this is the thing. You can find it all over Instagram. It works.
03:23I am not putting a Christmas tree in a cage. Are you kidding? What if it's BDSM Christmas? What's happening?
03:31That might be sending a wrong message.
03:34Bad Christmas tree.
03:35Christmas brought to you by kink. Oh, God. Can you imagine?
03:38A kinky Christmas?
03:40Oh, God. You've been a bad tree this year.
03:42A bad tree. Oh, my God.
03:45Breaking the ornaments off with floggers one at a time. Someone would be into it.
03:49I think we just started a new fetish.
03:53Oh, and you know what's so frustrating, too, is this is the first year that my daughter's old enough not to destroy the Christmas tree.
04:01Oh, no.
04:01Because before that, you know, she was she's four this year. It was keeping my kid away from the tree and pulling down all the ornaments and like grabbing it and pulling it over her. We had to do, you know, that trick where you take like a bunch of heavy boxes and you wrap them in presents and basically create a gate around the tree.
04:19That's like a parent. Oh, that's so smart.
04:21It's like a parent trick, but it doesn't work with cats because they can climb it.
04:26Oh, my God. I'm so screwed. I'm so screwed. Okay. If anyone is watching this and they have tips on how to keep the cat off your Christmas tree, please let me know because now I'm very concerned.
04:40Sorry. We're off to a great start.
04:44Yeah. Happy Christmas. Oh, man. Well, okay. So now that you've ruined Christmas for me, Alice, let's move on.
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