00:00You did end up taking a break, right?
00:02Yes.
00:03And then you came back on January 1st with the stream.
00:06So why did you end up taking a break?
00:08It was just too much because I wanted to, too much for myself.
00:13I was into everything.
00:16I wanted to do like podcast stuff in Germany.
00:19I was the face of Venus, the ambassador for the whole convention.
00:24I was the ambassador for Strip Chat during that same convention and another platform.
00:33So it was just too much.
00:35It was too much because I mean, I still loved what I did there and I had fun, but my
00:43whole
00:43body said, rest, rest, can't do that shit anymore.
00:48You have to take a rest.
00:49And I don't really make pause or rest because I love what I do and I love to completely
00:57freak out with all of that stuff because I'm just too much into it.
01:01And then I'm saying yes to everything.
01:04I'm like, yes, let's do this.
01:05Let's plan that.
01:06Let's do this.
01:07And I'm all in.
01:08And yeah, but that was the part where not even my, not only my brain and my mental health
01:16really told me, okay, please, I need a break, but my whole body did.
01:22I had really bad back pain and it went all up to my head and I had pain every day.
01:30And I went to the doctor and they were like, no, everything was just fine.
01:35And then I got a massage and she came to my house and she was doing like a, I think
01:44it's
01:44called trigger massage or something because there were like trigger points and then they're
01:48going into it and it hurts.
01:50It really hurts.
01:51And she told me it's not really relaxing.
01:54Just to be aware, it's not really relaxing.
01:57It will hurt.
01:59Yeah.
01:59Like, yeah.
01:59I love it.
02:00I just hope that it's.
02:01But you also, I mean, do you kind of like it?
02:04I love those kinds of massages.
02:05Like if I don't feel pain in a massage, then I'm like, I don't like it.
02:10Like you got to like.
02:11At that point, I hated a massage.
02:13I don't know why.
02:14I hated it.
02:15But then I was like, okay.
02:17Have you done dry needling?
02:18No.
02:19Oh my God.
02:19So I see a physical therapist once a week just to keep me like, and I've been having
02:23a lot of like neck and shoulder.
02:25I actually tore my shoulder doing yoga for the third time.
02:29It was the third time I tore my shoulder in yoga.
02:30You want to do something good for your body.
02:32I am no longer doing yoga.
02:34Fuck that shit.
02:35Um, but he, they stick a needle in like wherever, like your, your muscle point is like a long
02:41needle.
02:42And then they just go like this and it like spasms your muscle and makes it let go.
02:45No way.
02:46It's the worst.
02:47And I love it.
02:48It's the worst.
02:49And I love it so much.
02:50And I like scream, but I love it.
02:51I love it.
02:52Cause you feel, it feels so good afterwards.
02:54That sounds horrible.
02:55I love like painful massages.
02:57They're really weird.
02:58So you're not that vanilla.
02:59Yeah.
02:59I mean, I'm not.
03:00I mean, I'd be like flogged in the bedroom anymore, but boy, oh boy, do I love that dry needling.
03:06I love that.
03:07No, it was.
03:08My doctor actually watches this podcast.
03:09Right?
03:10Yeah.
03:11Dr. Sanchez, you're the best.
03:13Oh my God.
03:14Thanks for everything.
03:15Keep sticking me with your needle.
03:17Oh my God.
03:18No, she went into this trigger points and I was screaming.
03:20I was crying.
03:21I was like, okay, but I hope it will help.
03:24And it did not.
03:25And she was like, okay, it should help.
03:27But then it's not coming from your body itself.
03:30It's coming from your head.
03:32It's coming from your mind.
03:32And it's just too much.
03:35And I was like, okay, now you're a therapist and I don't need that shit.
03:40And it's just my body.
03:43And I just need a good doctor.
03:45And he just has to find out what is wrong with my body.
03:48Because I really didn't want to accept that I was burned out completely.
03:57And then my body and the pain was getting worse and worse.
04:03So I really got paralyzed in my bed.
04:06I was just laying in my bed with a lot of pain.
04:09And I was crying the whole day.
04:12And I was like, how can I change that?
04:15How can I change that?
04:15I need to do stuff.
04:17I need to do stuff.
04:19And I need to create content and work.
04:22I need to work.
04:23And yeah, that was the problem.
04:25Because I focused on work still with all that pain.
04:29And there was a lot of stress.
04:31I put it on to myself.
04:33I put it on to myself.
04:34So I needed to learn how to focus on myself first.
04:41And to prioritize myself before work or everything else.
04:48And really needed to learn that.
04:49I'm still learning that.
04:52I started with reading.
04:54I read a lot of books about yourself and overthinking stuff because I'm an overthinker.
05:02And that really helped me to get out of this state.
05:06And then I needed to take myself serious and really taking the pain serious and all the
05:13warning signals my whole body gave me the whole time.
05:16And I did that.
05:18And now it's not just better.
05:23It's almost gone.
05:25But I'm prepared that it can happen again.
05:28And now I'm prepared for that situation.
05:31And I know what to do and to focus on myself and take a break and pause.
05:36And not having FOMO for everything.
05:39I still have FOMO.
05:41Yeah.
05:41But I think it's normal in the business.
05:44It is.
05:44I mean, you're saying all of this and I'm relating so hard to you because I'm the same
05:48way.
05:49It's very difficult for me to stop working.
05:52And yeah.
05:53I mean, you know, it's just...
05:55I think it also you fall into that trap too, like being in this industry.
05:59Because essentially you're an entrepreneur.
06:01Like you're running your own business, right?
06:04Like so it kind of never ends.
06:06It's not like a nine to five ever.
06:07And especially if you love your job, you don't want to stop.
06:10And your brand is growing and people are asking you to do more things and all these
06:15opportunities are coming up.
06:16It's really hard to turn them down.
06:18But yeah.
06:19I mean, your body is telling you what you need to hear.
06:23But it's hard to listen.
06:26Yeah.
06:27So sometimes it just needs to like cripple you.
06:29Sometimes.
06:30But I just hope that I'm not getting into that set anymore.
06:34And I realize it earlier, way earlier.
06:36And then I can do something.
06:38I can relax a little bit more or maybe say no to one of these opportunities because it's
06:45not running away.
06:46Yeah.
06:46It's not.
06:47It's not.
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