- 3 months ago
Two British girls and a guy attempt to help their landlady by trying to stop her husband from selling her home to a property development company.
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00:00:00I've always had it easy with a man about the place
00:00:10Steaming up the mirror when I'm making up my face
00:00:17He's just a friend, a helping hand, a ready, willing smile
00:00:24But could it be that love has been here on my doorstep all the while
00:00:32It's not easy when he's always been just a man about the house
00:00:40One to rely on, a shoulder to cry on, now and then
00:00:47It's not easy when he's always been just a man about the house
00:00:53So close to home and yet so far away
00:00:58And all the time I thought that I was just a freewheeling girl
00:01:06I looked around but now I've found love was on my doorstep all the while
00:01:15It's not easy when he's always been just a man about the house
00:01:23One to rely on, a shoulder to cry on, now and then
00:01:30With all the little things you try to hide when there's a man about the house
00:01:36How could I open my heart to him now
00:01:42Will you put some more hot water in, please? This bath's getting cold.
00:01:47Oh, you do it. You're nearer the taps than I am
00:01:49Oh, all right. I'll do it
00:01:52Has anyone seen my flannel?
00:01:54Oh, I've got it
00:01:55No, you haven't. That's mine. Look, yours is over there
00:01:59Oh
00:02:00I'm getting crumped. I wish you two would get out
00:02:04Oh, we're going to have to work out a rotor system
00:02:06There just isn't room in here for the three of us
00:02:07Well, I suppose we could finish up in the kitchen
00:02:09No, we couldn't. There's no mirror in there
00:02:11Well, look, I'll tell you what
00:02:12I'll show you where your eyelashes are, you show me where my chin is
00:02:15Oh, you can have it
00:02:16Honestly, I wouldn't mind first thing in the morning
00:02:18If only it came later in the day
00:02:20I wish you'd hurry up
00:02:22I can't get out of this bath until you've gone
00:02:24All right, I'll tell you what, I'll shut my eyes
00:02:26See, look, they're closed
00:02:28Are you sure they're shut?
00:02:32Yes, yes, they will
00:02:33Honestly, we must get the lock fixed on that door
00:02:38Oh, no, no, no
00:02:40That'll take all the suspense out of having a bath
00:02:41All right, tower
00:02:42Do you mind?
00:02:44Oh, I'm sorry
00:02:46Listen, if you want any help
00:02:50Drawing yourself down
00:02:51You know, I could do it by touch alone
00:02:52You'll be lucky
00:02:53No, no
00:02:54All right
00:02:57And shut the door
00:02:59Oh, no, not again, eggs
00:03:04Look, you liked them yesterday and the day before
00:03:07Yeah, and the day before
00:03:08I don't think
00:03:08I'm beginning to look like an egg
00:03:10Listen, it isn't even my turn to cook the breakfast
00:03:12It's Jo's
00:03:12Well, then why doesn't Jo cook it?
00:03:14She did
00:03:15Bacon and sausages
00:03:16Do you want to eat it?
00:03:18So, just for a change
00:03:19How about some eggs?
00:03:20You like cooking, we don't
00:03:22Listen, it's part of the female's function to provide food
00:03:25So, where do you think these eggs came from?
00:03:26A rooster?
00:03:27Look, Chrissie, I'm not a male chauvinist
00:03:29I think you are
00:03:29Well, what do you know about it?
00:03:31You're only a woman
00:03:31Honestly, I'd have nothing to do with men
00:03:33If they weren't the opposite sex
00:03:34Look, when are you going to fix the lock on that door?
00:03:39No, I'll get around to it
00:03:40I'll tell you what
00:03:41Tell you what, I'll put that bolt on that door
00:03:43What bolt?
00:03:44Well, the one from your bedroom door
00:03:45Oh, you know, I can quite easily unscrew it
00:03:46You leave that where it is
00:03:48All right, all right
00:03:49If it gives you the illusion of safety
00:03:51Illusion?
00:03:53Another three feet and my tunnel is completed
00:03:55Hey, there's Larry, you're going to be late
00:04:08Oh, everybody's going to be late today
00:04:09It's the last day of town
00:04:10Including you
00:04:11Well, I should say, I was delayed
00:04:12I was a witness to a terrible accident
00:04:14Lies
00:04:15What else would you call it?
00:04:18Listen, do you want another
00:04:19Oh, great
00:04:20All right, come on
00:04:20See you
00:04:21Bye
00:04:22Bye
00:04:22Morning, Mrs. Roper
00:04:32Oh, morning, love
00:04:33Morning, Mr. Tripp
00:04:35Morning, Mrs. Roper
00:04:36Did your friend get anything else for Christmas?
00:04:40Oh, I know what you mean
00:04:41I'm sorry
00:04:41Yeah, he's got this theory
00:04:42That it recharges the battery
00:04:43Well, it doesn't worry me, love
00:04:45But, you see, it might wake Mr. Roper
00:04:46Why, is he still in bed?
00:04:47No, he's been up for hours
00:04:49But he's not awake yet
00:04:50Oh, dear, dear
00:04:54Best one of the day, eh?
00:04:56George
00:04:57Those cigarettes are going to be the death of you
00:04:59Have another one
00:05:00Oughtn't to be allowed first thing in the morning
00:05:03That horrible noise
00:05:04It was only a car horn, George
00:05:06No, I mean you, talking
00:05:07George, other men have conversation with their wives
00:05:11You know, they read them little bits out of the newspaper
00:05:13Cheer them up
00:05:14Give them a bright start to their day
00:05:16Now, why can't you do that?
00:05:18All right
00:05:18All right
00:05:19Mullins, age 73
00:05:22Peacefully after a short illness
00:05:25Sadly missed
00:05:26Oh, here's another one
00:05:27Murgatroy J
00:05:28Oh, blow it up
00:05:29Here's your post
00:05:30No joke this morning, then
00:05:32No, it's her day off
00:05:33Look, you keep your eyes on the road
00:05:35I'm so trying to put my knee into second
00:05:37Sorry, love
00:05:38Oh, does he always talk like this?
00:05:40Yes
00:05:40Look, it's no good closing your eyes
00:05:42I'm not closing my eyes
00:05:43I'm not closing Larry
00:05:44Look, I tell you what
00:05:46Listen, drop us off and we'll walk
00:05:47No, we won't
00:05:48We're safer in here
00:05:49He can't knock us over if we're in here
00:05:50You got a job yet, then?
00:05:54What?
00:05:55For the holidays
00:05:55Oh, yes
00:05:56In fact, we've just passed this
00:05:57That little restaurant there
00:05:58Halfway?
00:05:59No, you keep your eyes on the road
00:06:00We're cooking there, aren't we?
00:06:05Uh, yeah
00:06:06Helping the chef, you know
00:06:08It's only part-time
00:06:09But the money's good
00:06:10Jammie, beggar
00:06:12I tell you what
00:06:12If you're not fixed up
00:06:13They're looking for a waiter
00:06:14What are you doing?
00:06:16We can't hang about, can we?
00:06:18Waiter, eh?
00:06:19You keep your eyes on the...
00:06:20Oh, nice, nice
00:06:32There we are, then
00:06:34Accept the grateful thanks
00:06:37Of a white-haired old lady
00:06:38See you
00:06:43See you
00:06:44Larry, Larry, look
00:06:50Take it easy
00:06:50I'm not that late
00:06:51You are, mate
00:06:52Mind you, if I shared a flat with two birds
00:06:54I wouldn't get out of bed in the mornings, either
00:06:55Yeah, true, true
00:06:56Actually, they put a new bolt on the bedroom door
00:06:58Hmm?
00:06:58So I can't get out
00:06:59For the forthcoming tasks that lie ahead in front of us
00:07:14We are showing promise on our potteries
00:07:19But one or two of us have fallen down on our castles
00:07:23Good morning, Mr. Tripp
00:07:25Ah, good morning
00:07:27Mr. Tripp
00:07:29How is it that Miss Grace, who lives over an hour away, is always early
00:07:35And yet you, who live only five minutes away, are always late
00:07:40Yes, well, you see, if she's late, she's got time to hurry up
00:07:44Yes
00:07:45You see, if I'm late, I'm already here
00:07:46Mr. Tripp
00:07:48Sorry, what?
00:07:49What is the first priority in the maintenance of the kitchen?
00:07:54Er, well, it must remain spotless at all times
00:07:57Er, dirt and untidiness are the enemies of the good chef
00:08:00Well-run kitchen should be ordered
00:08:02Hygienic
00:08:03A place for everything and everything in its place
00:08:06Remember the three C's
00:08:08Clean, clinical and
00:08:10Cobbless
00:08:10Flutterless
00:08:12Look, you can't tart about when you're doing 60 meals a day
00:08:16I've hardly got time to trick me nose as it is
00:08:19Yes, I know, but I mean, you know, I didn't expect, er, all this, you know
00:08:23I mean, it looked like a, it looked like a nice restaurant
00:08:26Look, have you ever tried cooking on a trawler up to your ghoulies in fishheds?
00:08:30Er, no, I haven't
00:08:31Oh, well, I have
00:08:32And compared to that, this is straight out of ideal home, I'll tell you
00:08:35You are, I reckon you've lumbered me here, mate
00:08:38Er, mousetrap and bickies for table nine
00:08:41No, Larry, Larry, no, no, no, no
00:08:43Selection de fromage de France avec biscuit
00:08:46Yeah, and if wet in the vicarage
00:08:47Oh, yeah, and, er, one ice cream
00:08:49Coming up
00:08:51Yep
00:08:53One vanilla
00:08:55Oh, no, sorry, can you make that chocolate?
00:08:58I'll do my best
00:08:59Abracadabra
00:09:02It's not worked
00:09:06Here, cover it in curry powder, they won't know the difference
00:09:09I'd love to go for a jimmy, cop hold of that
00:09:12Hey, and when I come back, remind me to tell you all about the daffodil
00:09:16Oh, dear
00:09:17Daffodil
00:09:20There's a stingy lot of customers in there
00:09:22The only tip I've seen all day is this kitchen
00:09:24Right
00:09:25Do you know, he's got some disgusting habits
00:09:27Mm
00:09:28Do you know what he used to poke holes in those daffodilts?
00:09:31Oh, what?
00:09:33A milk bottle
00:09:33And he didn't even wash it
00:09:35Oh, yeah
00:09:36I mean, how can anyone create a classical cuisine in a kitchen like this?
00:09:39Yeah
00:09:39I mean, you've seen the state of his washing up water
00:09:41Yeah
00:09:41Do you know, if I wanted to start a new religious cult, I could walk on that?
00:09:44I thought it would suit me today
00:09:45Probably will be tomorrow
00:09:47Yeah, she was, uh, she was having a bottom scrape in Grimsby, you know
00:09:52Who was?
00:09:54The daffodil
00:09:55The boat I'm telling you about
00:09:56She was in Dry Dock, you know, the daffodil
00:09:58And I was, uh, I met these two, uh, I met these two nurses, you know
00:10:01And, uh, well, they looked as if they fancied a bit of the rough
00:10:04So, uh, I said to them
00:10:06Aren't you going to wash your hands first?
00:10:07What would I want to say that for?
00:10:10No, I said, I said to them, look, girls, would you like a little, uh, walk around the ship like, you know
00:10:13Have a bit, bit of a look round
00:10:15And, of course, we nurses, you know
00:10:17You've got to be a bit subtle, you know what I mean
00:10:18You, I mean, you can't just dash straight in
00:10:21You've got to lead up to it
00:10:22So I got them in the, uh, I got them in the cabin eventually
00:10:25And, uh, I said, Dad, do you fancy a game of strip poker?
00:10:28I actually usually put a dash of garlic salt in my batter
00:10:32Hey, you're not a puff, are you?
00:10:37Thank the Lord for that
00:10:38Eventually, you know, we were playing this strip poker, you know
00:10:41And I got down to me wellies, like, you know
00:10:42And they were starkers
00:10:44Garlic salt
00:10:46Yeah, it sort of brings out the fact
00:10:47But, uh, go on about the, uh, strip poker
00:10:50Oh, yeah
00:10:50Well, like, uh, you know
00:10:53I mean, hammocks, like, they're only really built for one, aren't they
00:10:56Hi
00:11:04Hi
00:11:04Finished work already?
00:11:05Yeah, it's lunch this week and dinner's next
00:11:07Oh
00:11:07Do you think you're going to like it?
00:11:09Yeah, yeah, it's not too bad
00:11:10The chef's a character
00:11:12He's full of stories
00:11:13Do you, uh, do you play cards?
00:11:17Yeah, why?
00:11:18Oh, it's nothing
00:11:19Oh, everything's being pulled down, isn't it?
00:11:22What?
00:11:22The cinema
00:11:23They're building another office block
00:11:24Oh, yeah
00:11:25Oh, it's terrible
00:11:26I mean, where's everybody going to play bingo?
00:11:28Yeah, I mean, people need to relax, you know
00:11:30To play bingo, cards, poker pots
00:11:35They pull that folk club down to build offices
00:11:38Oh, you see, it's true
00:11:39People are being forced to entertain at home with, with cards
00:11:43What's going on about cards?
00:11:56Just happen to mention it, that's all
00:11:58Topic of conversation
00:11:59I'll tell you the subject
00:12:00What do you buy?
00:12:02Clothes, underwear
00:12:03Oh, great, fantastic
00:12:05You're in a funny sort of mood today
00:12:07Good afternoon
00:12:07Hello
00:12:09Emboss this letterhead, you know
00:12:16M.F. Pluteroe, project manager
00:12:20George, we are not selling this house
00:12:22Especially not to any property developer
00:12:24No, no, no, of course not
00:12:26Full market value
00:12:29Yeah, I wonder what that would be
00:12:31I mean, if we were thinking of selling it
00:12:32Which we are not
00:12:33Which we're not, no
00:12:35Still
00:12:36That's always been your trouble, George
00:12:38Greed
00:12:39Oh, I can remember our wedding reception
00:12:42Still haven't forgotten that
00:12:43Here, look
00:12:44Do you remember
00:12:46That happy day?
00:12:49Oh, yeah
00:12:49Hmm
00:12:50Comes the time to cut the cake
00:12:52And where are you?
00:12:53Round the boozer
00:12:54Collecting on the empties
00:12:54Oh, just having a little nip
00:12:56It's steady my nerves
00:12:56Oh, yes
00:12:57You came on our honeymoon
00:12:59As steady as a newt
00:13:00Oh, well, I may have had a few
00:13:01But at least I did my duty
00:13:03Duty?
00:13:05Yeah, well, it was a long time ago
00:13:06I still haven't forgotten
00:13:07Yeah, but I'm thinking about the future now
00:13:09Now, Mildred
00:13:09I mean, if they are pulling this block down
00:13:11To build offices
00:13:11We could make a nice tidy packet
00:13:13Who told you that?
00:13:14Well, the blonde next door
00:13:16The one with the poodle
00:13:17Hazel
00:13:18She said they've all got letters
00:13:19The whole row
00:13:20Oh, it's Hazel now, is it?
00:13:22On intimate terms, are you?
00:13:23No, no
00:13:24She nipped me once or twice
00:13:26In the ankle
00:13:26The poodle, not Hazel
00:13:28What are you doing?
00:13:30I'm phoning around, George
00:13:32I think it's about time we had a meeting of the Residents Association
00:13:35Yeah, well, don't have it tonight
00:13:36There's a good film on the telly
00:13:37Do you know, there must be
00:13:40There must be something better to do
00:13:42Than watching all this rubbish
00:13:43Look, I haven't got time to mess about
00:13:46Are you after my body?
00:13:48Of course
00:13:48Sorry, it's already booked to do the washing up
00:13:51Ghosh
00:13:52Oh-hm-hm-hmm
00:13:54Mwah-hmm
00:14:13Mwah-mwah
00:14:16Mwah-mwah
00:14:18This is a stable
00:14:18Mwah-mwah
00:14:19Let's go.
00:14:20Let's go.
00:14:21Let's go.
00:14:22Let's go.
00:14:43Chrissy?
00:14:44What?
00:14:45Nothing.
00:14:46Nothing.
00:14:47Um, where's Jo?
00:14:49In the bathroom.
00:14:55Hey, Jo.
00:14:56Listen.
00:14:57I must have been stark naked.
00:14:59Not with my luck.
00:15:00Uh, look, Chrissy and I, we're going to have a game of cards.
00:15:03So?
00:15:04Uh, strip poker.
00:15:06I mean, we really need a third, but she says you won't play because you're, well, too prudish.
00:15:13What?
00:15:14Uh, yeah, okay, fine, yes, no problem. We'll manage. Just the two of us.
00:15:25Yeah, she's probably right.
00:15:27What about?
00:15:28Hmm?
00:15:29Oh, er, Jo and I, we're going to play strip poker.
00:15:32She says you won't play, you know, because you're too, er, prudish.
00:15:36She's right.
00:15:37She is?
00:15:38Oh, absolutely.
00:15:39Do you want to help me with the washing up?
00:15:41No, I don't.
00:15:47Are you really going to play strip poker with him?
00:15:49Me?
00:15:50He said it was you.
00:15:51He said it was you.
00:16:08We're ready when you are.
00:16:09What for?
00:16:10Strip poker, you said you wanted to play.
00:16:11Right, er, listen, how do you actually sort of, er, play this game?
00:16:21Well, I suppose you bet with clothes instead of money, so the loser takes off whatever clothes they bet with.
00:16:39Yes, yes, well, er, you know, I'll, I'll go along with that.
00:16:43Erm, should I, er, what do you call it, hand the cards out?
00:16:46Erm, it's deal, you see, that's the word, deal.
00:16:50Yes, yes, off you go.
00:16:51Okay.
00:17:09You, you've played cards before, have you?
00:17:18My dad taught me.
00:17:19Off you go.
00:17:23Er, pass.
00:17:26Okay, well, I'll, er, I'll open for a sock.
00:17:31I'll stay.
00:17:32I'm out.
00:17:35It's just you and me, Chrissy.
00:17:36Er, just one small thing.
00:17:38What's your equivalent of a sock?
00:17:40Oh, er, half a tight.
00:17:44Right, right, I'll draw one, please.
00:17:46One?
00:17:49I'll stay with what I've got.
00:17:52Oh, right, er, yes, well, I'll put you, I'll put you to wrap another sock.
00:17:56Coward.
00:17:58Your sock, plus my skirt.
00:18:02I'll raise your skirt with my trousers.
00:18:04Well, good film, eh?
00:18:05Hmm.
00:18:06Yeah, George.
00:18:07You know that Wolfman?
00:18:08He was the spitting image of an army sergeant I used to go around with.
00:18:09What, all Aryan, then?
00:18:10No, when he was normal.
00:18:11Arthur.
00:18:12Arthur.
00:18:13Arthur Malgrove, that was it.
00:18:14God, I nearly married him.
00:18:15Well, what stopped you?
00:18:16Hmm.
00:18:17You didn't ask me.
00:18:18Sounds a sensible sort of fellow.
00:18:19Oh, thank you.
00:18:20Oh, you know, when that, that Wolfman ripped that blouse off that helpless maiden, oh, it
00:18:23sent a shiver right down my spine.
00:18:24Oh, you know, when that Wolfman ripped that blouse off that helpless maiden, oh, it sent a
00:18:29shiver right down my spine.
00:18:30Come into bed, George.
00:18:31Oh, no, not just yet.
00:18:32I've got to make myself a cheese and onion sandwich.
00:18:35I'll wait for you.
00:18:36Oh, no, don't bother, because I've got to go upstairs and tell them about the meeting
00:18:37tomorrow night.
00:18:38Oh, no, I'll wait for you.
00:18:39Oh, no, I'll wait for you to go upstairs and tell them about the meeting tomorrow night.
00:18:44sent a shiver right down my spine.
00:18:48Coming to bed, George?
00:18:49Er, no, not just yet.
00:18:52I've got to make myself a cheese and onion sandwich.
00:18:55I'll wait for you.
00:18:56No, don't bother, because I've got to go upstairs
00:18:58and tell them about the meeting tomorrow night.
00:19:04Arthur Mulgrove.
00:19:07Ooh!
00:19:09All I can say is your father must have been a bloody good player, that's all.
00:19:14Do you want to go on? Certainly.
00:19:16I'm not chicken.
00:19:19Right.
00:19:20Right, I'll open with, um...
00:19:23with my underpants.
00:19:25Haven't really got much choice.
00:19:27I'll stay for a shoe.
00:19:30Oh, come on, Chrissie.
00:19:31My underpants have got to be worth more than a shoe.
00:19:33All right, two shoes.
00:19:35Whoopee.
00:19:38I'm out.
00:19:40Jo, you've done this every time,
00:19:42and I don't mind telling you, you're spoiling this game for me.
00:19:45Three, please.
00:19:47I'll stay with these.
00:19:50Go on.
00:19:52This is a bit awkward, this.
00:19:53I mean, er...
00:19:54I haven't got anything else to bet with.
00:19:55Look, if I could just put on one piece of...
00:19:57No.
00:20:00No, a full house.
00:20:01Tens and twos.
00:20:04Tens and twos.
00:20:05Four jacks.
00:20:09Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:20:10Get them off.
00:20:14Oh, oh, Jo, look, I can see two bare feet.
00:20:17It's all too much for me.
00:20:19Right, it's my deal.
00:20:20I wouldn't get too excited.
00:20:21You've got to be very, very lucky.
00:20:23Oh, you just listen to me.
00:20:24My luck's changing.
00:20:25I can feel it.
00:20:26Right.
00:20:27Off you go, Chriss.
00:20:31Pass.
00:20:31Pass.
00:20:32Right.
00:20:34Yes, I'll open yet again with my underpants.
00:20:38I'll stay for a blouse.
00:20:40Mm-hmm.
00:20:41And I'll draw three.
00:20:42Right, right.
00:20:43One, two, three.
00:20:44Jo?
00:20:45I'm out.
00:20:46Right, I'll have three.
00:20:47One, two.
00:20:51Ah.
00:20:51Well, I've got a pair.
00:20:54Well, let's have a look at them, then.
00:20:58What do you mean?
00:20:59I've got a pair, too.
00:21:01Yes.
00:21:02Two queens.
00:21:09Aces.
00:21:15Oh, well.
00:21:16That's it.
00:21:17Not quite.
00:21:19Oh, now, come on.
00:21:20You don't really want me to pay that last debt.
00:21:22Look, you started this game.
00:21:24It's of no interest to me.
00:21:24I was brought up on a farm.
00:21:27I've never seen anyone blush over such a large area.
00:21:29Right there.
00:21:37Okay.
00:21:38Now what?
00:21:41I wonder who's going to answer it.
00:21:43Oh, come on.
00:21:46You can't expect me to go.
00:21:47I'm Stalkers.
00:21:48I won't look.
00:21:49I will.
00:21:50He would have done if it was ours.
00:21:51You're right.
00:21:51I will look.
00:21:52You don't think I'll do it.
00:21:55I'll do it.
00:21:55You got it.
00:21:57I'll do it.
00:21:57I'm going.
00:21:58I don't know.
00:22:02He cheated.
00:22:09He's not the only one.
00:22:10Oh, evening, son.
00:22:14What's that?
00:22:16It's a tablecloth.
00:22:18I don't normally wear it, only the curtains at the dry cleaners.
00:22:21Ah.
00:22:22Yeah, well, I just popped up to tell you about the meeting tomorrow night.
00:22:26Are you all right?
00:22:28Oh, yeah, it's just breadcrumbs.
00:22:30So, which meeting?
00:22:31Oh, the Residents Association.
00:22:34And they want your presence there.
00:22:37Yeah.
00:22:37Um, well, we obviously need some volunteers to serve on the committee.
00:22:44Now's your chance.
00:22:46Yeah.
00:22:47Yeah, right.
00:22:48Ah, excuse me.
00:22:53Um, I don't want to push myself forward.
00:22:56Good for you.
00:22:57That's the least I could do.
00:22:59But I would like to volunteer.
00:23:01Chris's services.
00:23:02Okay.
00:23:02Come on, let me go.
00:23:03Well, I think it's time for the natural leaders in the community
00:23:10to step forward and shoulder their responsibilities.
00:23:14All right, then.
00:23:15Not you, dear.
00:23:17Me.
00:23:18Well done.
00:23:19Lovely, dear.
00:23:28Would you like to start us all off?
00:23:36Right.
00:23:37Um, right.
00:23:39Well, uh, first of all, um,
00:23:41I know how strongly we all feel about this problem.
00:23:45Hear, hear, hear.
00:23:46And, um,
00:23:47and, uh,
00:23:49I know one person who has a lot to say on this subject.
00:23:52Robin Tripp.
00:23:54APPLAUSE
00:23:55Uh, well,
00:24:03I feel myself.
00:24:04We ought to oppose, um,
00:24:06the development, that is.
00:24:08Um, and, uh,
00:24:10if...
00:24:11What you're trying to say is
00:24:12that this community cannot survive
00:24:14unless we all join together and fight this scheme.
00:24:18Yes.
00:24:18And we ought to do something positive.
00:24:21Oh, absolutely.
00:24:22Like what?
00:24:23Eh?
00:24:24Well, like, um...
00:24:27Perhaps you think we ought to organise a petition to our MP.
00:24:30Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking of.
00:24:33Well, what for?
00:24:34Towels are off.
00:24:34Oh.
00:24:36Oh, wait a minute.
00:24:41Oh.
00:24:42So much for community spirit.
00:24:44Do you want your time?
00:24:46Come on.
00:24:47Um, an ouzo and soda?
00:24:49Is it a large one?
00:24:50Oh, very.
00:24:52Um,
00:24:52a red scene over the chair unit.
00:24:54How can't I?
00:24:59Because it's about the only practical thing we can do.
00:25:02Mm, yes.
00:25:03Well, what's it to be?
00:25:04A carefully worded protest about houses being pulled down for office blocks.
00:25:08You can do anything in London except live.
00:25:10London needs houses, not great concrete blocks.
00:25:12I mean, if our generation doesn't do anything about it,
00:25:15there aren't going to be any houses for the next generation.
00:25:17I meant to drink.
00:25:19Oh, tomato juice, please.
00:25:21Tomato juice, right.
00:25:22Joe?
00:25:23Uh, lager, please.
00:25:24A lager, okay.
00:25:25I don't see the point in having a petition.
00:25:30I mean, if we don't sell our houses.
00:25:32And none of us are going to sell, George.
00:25:34No.
00:25:35No.
00:25:35So what can they do?
00:25:36Uh, a lager and a tomato juice, please.
00:25:40Of course, we first acquired the taste for it in a little bar near the Acropolis.
00:25:44Ah, yes.
00:25:45Yeah, he's bonkers about the ancient Greeks.
00:25:47Well, it's such a marvelous civilization.
00:25:49It's so, so civilized.
00:25:51True, true.
00:25:53The friendship of an older man for a lad was not misunderstood and frowned upon.
00:25:58Quite.
00:25:59I think that an idol here has rather the look of an Apollo about him.
00:26:03Yes, yes.
00:26:04You know, the Michelangelo Apollo.
00:26:06Put that statue on a motorbike, and it's Nigel to a team.
00:26:12Quite.
00:26:13And it's still a glorious country today.
00:26:16The, um, wine, the sunshine, the music.
00:26:20Do you like the bouzouki?
00:26:21Nah.
00:26:22I prefer the Yamaha superbike.
00:26:25Ah.
00:26:26His wit is a constant delight.
00:26:29Hmm.
00:26:30And, um, property, you know.
00:26:32It's so cheap.
00:26:34If one sold a tatty terrace house here, you could buy a villa there.
00:26:39Still, we don't want to spoil a social evening talking about business, do we?
00:26:45Of course, it's not the first time this has happened, you know.
00:26:48I mean, Nigel did his best to knock his houses down during the war.
00:26:51Ah, yeah.
00:26:51Oh, they were good days then.
00:26:53Oh, my God.
00:26:54Bombs raining down and shrapnel flying everywhere.
00:26:57The man knew what he had to do.
00:26:58In your case, you couldn't stop yourself.
00:27:00Yeah.
00:27:00He had to, he had to do his duty.
00:27:03Oh, one of his favourite words.
00:27:05Yeah, well, I was ARP warden for the old block.
00:27:07And in my opinion, Hitler knew this, you see.
00:27:09Well, that's probably what made him lose his nerve and turn on Russia.
00:27:12Yeah.
00:27:14Well, yeah.
00:27:17Excuse me, I've got to have a little chat with Larry.
00:27:19Say it again.
00:27:25Oh, yeah, Tom.
00:27:26Brian, say it again, please.
00:27:28Listen, it's been out of her for two months.
00:27:31What else?
00:27:32I don't know.
00:27:34I'll go on like this, I'm going to go blind.
00:27:36Oh, that?
00:27:36Yeah, that.
00:27:38See, listen, the thing is, obviously, I was thinking about asking Jo,
00:27:42does she fancy coming for a drive?
00:27:45You know.
00:27:46That's right.
00:27:47Hmm.
00:27:49Yeah, why not?
00:27:50Well, don't muck about.
00:27:52Does she, don't she?
00:27:53Oh, come on.
00:27:54Good enough.
00:27:55Say no more.
00:27:56And they used to put this, um, this stuff in your tea, you know.
00:27:59Well, I'm sure you keep your mind on the job.
00:28:01Off the job, George.
00:28:03Eh?
00:28:04Um, excuse me, I'm just going to have a quick word with Robin.
00:28:08Yeah, then there were ration books.
00:28:09Do you remember this?
00:28:10No.
00:28:11I know this great little spot on the river, you see.
00:28:12You can park your car there.
00:28:14Hello, Jo.
00:28:15Hello.
00:28:16Yeah.
00:28:17Uh, you, uh, you got any plans for the rest of the evening?
00:28:20Two ounces of butter, ounce of lard, and a bit of meat.
00:28:24Oh.
00:28:25About that long.
00:28:26That's what you used to get, wasn't it, love?
00:28:27That's what I used to get, George, yes.
00:28:30Oh, um, excuse me.
00:28:31I think I'll go and have a word with you.
00:28:34Well, George, I think that's a new record.
00:28:36You've bored three people away in two minutes.
00:28:39Well done, love.
00:28:40Just for a drive, mind you, for fresh air.
00:28:42Oh, yeah, you know, spot the sappers, don't we?
00:28:45Uh, don't let him fool you, Jo.
00:28:46Your arms don't go inside the sector.
00:28:48Nah, hysterical.
00:28:51Hey, where are they going?
00:28:53I just wrote a ride.
00:28:54Well, a drive.
00:28:55Actually, that, uh, does give you a mere chance to go back to the flat and, uh, you know, get it together.
00:29:01The petition.
00:29:02I mean, you've got to go back and type it, haven't you?
00:29:04Yeah.
00:29:25Chrissy, can't you finish this later?
00:29:28You know, when Jo gets back?
00:29:29I thought the idea was to get on with it while she's out.
00:29:32Yeah.
00:29:34Come on, let's stop messing about.
00:29:36I second that.
00:29:37I mean, let's stop messing about with the time.
00:29:40I just sit back, relax,
00:29:44a little drink.
00:29:46Hmm?
00:29:50And you can't hold out forever, Chrissie.
00:29:52What makes you think I have?
00:29:55Oh, I don't.
00:29:56Oh, don't you?
00:29:58Well, yes, I mean, yes, I do.
00:29:59Oh, do you?
00:30:01Yeah, no, I don't.
00:30:03Sorry, look.
00:30:04Can we start again?
00:30:06All right.
00:30:06No, no, no, no, no.
00:30:09Didn't mean the typing.
00:30:10I know what you meant.
00:30:12Look, it's all right for you.
00:30:14Men can just turn it on.
00:30:16A girl needs time.
00:30:18Coaxing.
00:30:19Chatting up.
00:30:21Chrissie.
00:30:23I can't chat you up.
00:30:25I mean, how can you...
00:30:26How can you chat up someone you...
00:30:29Be careful.
00:30:31It means that when you have a...
00:30:33Deep, emotional feeling for me.
00:30:37What am I doing?
00:30:43Honestly, Larry, I really don't feel like it.
00:30:45Oh, come on, Joe.
00:30:47You really enjoy it, honestly.
00:30:49But I don't like cod.
00:30:51Oh, please yourself.
00:30:56It's nice here, isn't it?
00:30:57Got a sort of atmosphere.
00:31:00Yes.
00:31:01Vinegar and chip fat.
00:31:02Sorry.
00:31:02I've, um...
00:31:06I've got a little confession I made to you, Joe.
00:31:10I was born a girl.
00:31:12Pardon?
00:31:13Yeah.
00:31:14And, uh...
00:31:16Ever since the operation, I've not, you know, had a chance to find out if it works.
00:31:21So I was thinking...
00:31:23In the interest of medical science...
00:31:25Oh, full marks for originality.
00:31:28Yeah?
00:31:29Has anyone ever told you that you're terribly attractive and have a wonderful way with women?
00:31:35No.
00:31:36No, I haven't.
00:31:37Well, where'd you get the idea from?
00:31:39Why?
00:31:40Oh, look, come on, take me home and I'll make you a cup of coffee.
00:31:43This is all a bit embarrassing, Joe.
00:31:45I mean, I've got one reputation to think of.
00:31:48Oh, don't worry.
00:31:49I won't tell anyone you didn't score.
00:31:51I'll even recommend you to my friends.
00:31:54Would you?
00:31:56Would you do that for me, really?
00:31:59That's a better technique.
00:32:01Pathos.
00:32:01You should concentrate on that one.
00:32:03Where are you going?
00:32:05Well, if you're coming back for coffee, I'm driving.
00:32:08Where for?
00:32:09You're a mad driver.
00:32:21Have you got the keys?
00:32:28Yeah, you handled one of these before.
00:32:31No.
00:32:32All cars are the same, aren't they?
00:32:35Yeah.
00:32:36No, no, no, I'm mine.
00:32:37No, no.
00:32:46No, no, no, no.
00:32:47All right, nice noise for the trap.
00:32:53All right, nice noise for the trap.
00:33:02Oh, my God.
00:33:09Robin, listen, we should talk.
00:33:12What, now?
00:33:14Yes, now.
00:33:16It's got to be now.
00:33:18Before we get carried away.
00:33:21Robin.
00:33:27Well, you and I,
00:33:30we've known each other for some time now.
00:33:34Yes.
00:33:36Well, I don't think I'd be going too far if I said,
00:33:41well, you fancy me.
00:33:45No, you wouldn't be going too far.
00:33:48Well, I've decided it's okay.
00:33:53But what if?
00:33:56Well, if you really meant what you said about caring,
00:34:00it's okay.
00:34:04Well, then, I mean, why did you stop me?
00:34:07Oh, I just wanted to say it's okay, that's all.
00:34:13Well, that's great.
00:34:15Wait a minute.
00:34:19Um, no, no, no, this is a bit of a responsibility.
00:34:24What is?
00:34:26Well, I mean, you know, you're sort of, you're,
00:34:28you're putting it all on to me.
00:34:30Well, I thought that's what you wanted.
00:34:32Mm-hmm.
00:34:33Oh, yes, I do.
00:34:34I do.
00:34:35But, um, you see, I hadn't sort of thought on sort of
00:34:38talking it over, you know, sort of before the...
00:34:43I mean beforehand.
00:34:45Don't you dare lay a finger on me on the screen.
00:34:48Oh, that's better.
00:34:54I take it back.
00:34:55I'm not recommending you to any of my friends.
00:34:57Yeah, well, it wasn't my fault, was it?
00:34:59Bad timing, Larry.
00:35:00This is not the moment.
00:35:02Yeah, well, I didn't choose a bloody moment.
00:35:04She chose a bloody moment.
00:35:05Backed into the bloody lake.
00:35:06Hey, you're all wet.
00:35:07I know that.
00:35:08Well, get those wet clothes off.
00:35:10Not you, her.
00:35:11Well, what happened?
00:35:12Oh, I don't know.
00:35:13I've got a frog spawn in my bra.
00:35:18Oh, I'm sorry about that, mate.
00:35:20What?
00:35:21I didn't know you were sort of...
00:35:22Yeah, well, I didn't either.
00:35:24There was any consolation.
00:35:25It isn't.
00:35:28Yeah, well...
00:35:30See you tomorrow, eh?
00:35:42Down a bit.
00:35:43Left...
00:35:44Left hand down a bit.
00:35:45All right, easy, easy.
00:35:47Whoa, that's it.
00:35:49Right.
00:35:55Right.
00:35:56We'll get the locals to sign it first.
00:35:57Who shall we start with?
00:35:58How about us?
00:35:59Good, thank you.
00:36:00All right, Jeff.
00:36:01Thanks a lot, sir.
00:36:02Thanks a lot, sir.
00:36:03Oh, hello, mate.
00:36:04Hey, look, I'm sorry about last night.
00:36:05Just, just fine there.
00:36:06You all right?
00:36:07Hey, is Mr Gideon in this morning?
00:36:08Yeah, look, I'm sorry about last night.
00:36:09Yeah, I'm not.
00:36:10It was him and me against me, and I was losing.
00:36:11Here, we go blind together, eh?
00:36:12Oh, I'm not.
00:36:13It was him and me against me, and I was losing.
00:36:14Here, we go blind together, eh?
00:36:15Oh, um, Joe.
00:36:29Look, I'm sorry about last night.
00:36:31That's fine.
00:36:32Hey, is Mr Gideon in this morning?
00:36:33Yeah, look, I'm sorry about last night.
00:36:35Yeah, I'm not.
00:36:36It was him and me against me, and I was losing.
00:36:37Here.
00:36:39We go blind together, eh?
00:36:41Oh, um, Joe?
00:36:43But I'm, er... He's sorry about last night.
00:36:46Yeah.
00:36:56Goodbye. Goodbye.
00:36:58Goodbye.
00:36:59I must say, it's been an absolute pleasure doing business with you.
00:37:02No, no, the pleasure is mine.
00:37:04And thank you for that lovely record.
00:37:06Yes, well, er, plant an olive tree for me.
00:37:09Good morning, my dear.
00:37:13Right, set it up.
00:37:16Such a nice man.
00:37:18And so straight forward.
00:37:20I've got the petition.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:23Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
00:37:25I'll have to find new digs now.
00:37:27Here, how about if I moved in with you?
00:37:29How about if you jumped back in the lake again?
00:37:31What did you say to him?
00:37:32What? Nothing.
00:37:33I just asked him to sign the petition.
00:37:35Must have been the way that you said it.
00:37:37We're going to be late for work.
00:37:38OK.
00:37:39Look, we'll try and get some more signatures in our lunch hour.
00:37:41OK, bye.
00:37:42Bye, bye.
00:37:43Listen, what's the name of the lady who lives in number four?
00:37:45Oh, Miss Bird?
00:37:46Yeah, that's it.
00:37:47You're not going to go in here alone, are you?
00:37:48Well, I've got to get a signature, haven't I?
00:37:50Best of luck, mate.
00:37:52Keep your legs crossed.
00:37:58Here, son.
00:37:59Yeah?
00:38:00Not going up to Miss Bird's flat, are you?
00:38:01Yeah?
00:38:02Stick us outside her door, will you?
00:38:03Haven't got time this morning.
00:38:05You're not going up to Miss Bird's flat, are you?
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:07Shove these through a box for me.
00:38:08Well, I'm a married man.
00:38:10I'm terribly sorry.
00:38:11I thought you were the dustman.
00:38:12Oh, no.
00:38:13Uh, no.
00:38:14I'm, I'm Tripp.
00:38:15Robin.
00:38:16Robyn.
00:38:34I'm terribly sorry.
00:38:35I thought you were the dustman.
00:38:37Oh, no.
00:38:38Uh, no.
00:38:39I'm, I'm Tripp.
00:38:41Robin, thank you, Tripp, from, uh, Number Six.
00:38:44I've come about the the petition here how fascinating oh just a little bit if
00:38:53you could please if you could just sign they're not true you know the rumors
00:38:59about me what rumors they're not true people try to take advantage of my warm
00:39:05nature well I've got the pen here if you could just put your signature while you're
00:39:14here would you like to see what I do oh no thank you no not really I'm a potter oh
00:39:21yes I make erotic soup oh oh that's very oh good god take one I don't know if
00:39:30you're in favor of the permissive society oh yeah yes I guess I am but you know I
00:39:35just want to feel that it shouldn't be made compulsory the needs of a man and a
00:39:40woman are exactly the same yes I know that I mean you it's you women you know
00:39:46you can just sort of switch it on aren't you but a man needs needs time and coaxing
00:39:53and would perhaps you prefer a pencil no I wouldn't look I'm sorry I'm sorry this is far far too
00:40:01worthy for me it's not as if I don't appreciate you know you're very kind of but it's perhaps some
00:40:09other time okay okay Bob a job miss anything I can do for you no I don't think so why don't you
00:40:27come back next year did you get it then bloody nearly I hope the girls are getting more signatures
00:40:35than I am yeah yeah yeah it's a petition to it's a petition to save the Edwardian houses on Middleton
00:40:46Terrace hey it won't take a moment of your time oh it's half past one oh excuse me would you mind
00:40:58signing this please petition is it anything to do with bringing back hanging and flogging um no
00:41:05actually it's to do with a new office department well couldn't you add something about bringing
00:41:08back hanging and flogging I don't think so I think it might confuse the issue excuse me
00:41:14spirits do sit down nothing under half a million tons no and if necessary we could incorporate a public
00:41:28amenity raise the capital in Deutschmarks perhaps the shell of a theater easily converted into an
00:41:34underground car park later I want you to go to Japan yes but I'm in the middle of organizing
00:41:38Middleton Terrace and stop making excuses and get on with it that's telling you sir I was talking to
00:41:48you I have them I have high hopes of finalizing the remaining properties by the end of the month I want
00:41:54the dozers in I can't keep capital tied up indefinitely thank you quite quite I am as keen as
00:42:01yourself sir to see prutherow house on that site and believe me prutherow house oh whatever we here
00:42:09you you decide to call it I just thought it being my first real major project Nelson house yes yes very
00:42:18apt sir lovely ring to it after the seafaring gentlemen after my wife's basset hound
00:42:24give me what and I'll put me down as a don't know you don't know what it's about yet that's what I
00:42:36just said I'm a don't know leave it alone Enoch
00:42:39another 20 this evening oh you're not counting the two Adolf Hitler's are you I'm not counting one
00:42:58but the other one did look a bit like him oh and what time do you call this quarter to seven
00:43:05exactly and my chicken tuafra has been ready for the last half an hour blimey we should have bought
00:43:10in some flowers I've done my best to save it but I'm not promising you anything you are sweet
00:43:16you can't get around me like that perhaps you'd like to join us
00:43:22hey we'd better watch out otherwise you'll go back to mother
00:43:27right we're starting off with Lebanese cucumber soup
00:43:35we'll give it a chance followed by chicken with peach and ninja salad
00:43:43well you're making it up sorry we must be late the soup's gone cold
00:43:50it's supposed to be cold I just don't know why but it's very nice hey we only need a couple more
00:44:00signatures to make a thousand yeah I've still got to get the woman down the road you know the one
00:44:04with the poodle but she's never in I haven't been back to miss bird yet either and there's no
00:44:09where I'm going to coward right you're having us on she can't be as bad as all
00:44:15oh my goodness oh thanks George could just do with a nice cup of tea oh yeah well there's one in
00:44:23the pot I was uh thinking Mildred perhaps we should consider selling it what this it's all rust and
00:44:31rattles no no no I'm in the house I think the money we could make George what good is money if
00:44:38you haven't got your health I've got me health you won't have if you sell my house 22 years of
00:44:44marriage all we've got to show for is that house yeah well it wasn't my fault I went to the clinic
00:44:49they said it wasn't my fault well it certainly wasn't mine I don't like children look George
00:44:54you can't hit the jackpot if you don't put the money in the machine I suppose you think that Arthur
00:44:59Mulgrove could have done better who well that fellow you keep going on about George I've mentioned
00:45:03him once in 22 years I don't call that going on and the answer to your question is yes
00:45:08he could have done better and no you are not going to sell my house hello oh hello it is
00:45:13how's it going oh not bad oh it's exhausting trying to get people interested yeah I know how you feel
00:45:19yeah I hear that through the road fellow got the number three before you did yeah still he
00:45:25hasn't bothered anyone else actually hasn't seen for a few days
00:45:27hey do you think she's all right look at this lot perhaps she's here
00:45:34oh hello uh we were wondering if you'd like to sign this petition against the development of these
00:45:40houses I'll be off now Amelia it's been a real pleasure
00:45:44must you go Morris alas I'm afraid so business you know
00:45:47hello
00:45:49hello he's such a wonderful man Mr. Plutheron yes
00:45:55oh yes I'll find a pen would you like to step inside uh no no I don't think I've got time there
00:46:09oh thank you
00:46:11of course I don't own this house myself it belongs to a gentleman friend
00:46:20ah well perhaps you could ask him to sign it as well
00:46:22he doesn't live here dear be your age
00:46:26right I got the lady with the uh with the poodle to sign it how do you get on with miss bird
00:46:32well how do you think
00:46:41we only need one more signature and then we've got a thousand
00:46:45there must be someone we know who hasn't signed it
00:46:50you're not going to believe this
00:46:53oh
00:46:55stupid
00:47:02oh
00:47:18oh do come in I'm sorry to have kept you waiting
00:47:22I've been in the house the prime minister was speaking for over an hour
00:47:26oh really what about
00:47:27what he didn't say oh do you sit down
00:47:38um I'm one of your constituents and I'd like you to accept this petition
00:47:42to save six Edwardian houses from being pulled down for an office block
00:47:46oh very impressive I don't know what I'm expected to do
00:47:51well you are president of the preserved London society
00:47:53oh oh that yes my wife gets me involved in the most ex
00:48:00a thousand people have signed this petition
00:48:02well I'm the people who live in um
00:48:05Middleton Terrace
00:48:07Middleton Terrace
00:48:09did you say Middleton Terrace
00:48:11yes
00:48:11near Columbia Square
00:48:13that's right
00:48:15I know it charming little row of houses they can't pull that down
00:48:25uh
00:48:26a thousand signatures you say
00:48:36hello hello hello darling
00:48:39it's a groupsy
00:48:41I've been trying to ring you
00:48:42I've been to the Poodle Parlour
00:48:44are you coming round tonight love
00:48:46Well, it's the wife's birthday. Sorry.
00:48:51Oh, but I've got a new gym slip specially.
00:48:55Really?
00:48:56And it's your size.
00:48:59Well, maybe just for five minutes.
00:49:03I really rang to reassure you about this development nonsense.
00:49:07I wish you'd told me, darling.
00:49:09But I haven't seen you for absolutely ages, darling.
00:49:13And you said never to ring you at home, or you...
00:49:15No, no, no. Quite, quite. Don't worry. I'll put a stop to it.
00:49:18Bang the drum a bit, you know.
00:49:20They don't like publicity, these development boys.
00:49:24Why not? You do.
00:49:26Well, that's different.
00:49:28Don't want to be a backbencher all my life.
00:49:30No harm in letting the public know the things you do.
00:49:34Not all the things you do.
00:49:37Oh, sauce box.
00:49:40Is it green or navy blue?
00:49:44And would the minister agree that the Middleton Terrace scheme
00:49:48highlights the problem of profits before people?
00:49:51The octopus of office development must be stopped
00:49:55before inner London becomes a concrete desert.
00:49:58Cries of hear, hear and shame.
00:50:01Yeah, I think I've got a bunion coming.
00:50:03Sir Edmund then asked the minister for an assurance.
00:50:08And...
00:50:09George!
00:50:10That only just missed me.
00:50:11Oh, sorry.
00:50:12I've told you about not doing that in here.
00:50:14One of these days you're going to have somebody's eyes out.
00:50:16All right, well, I'll do it in the kitchen then.
00:50:17You will not.
00:50:18I've got a salad on the table.
00:50:20All right, all right.
00:50:22Pink.
00:50:23It's big hooray for battling Sir Edmund
00:50:26and a swift Harvey Smith for the Build-Em-Anywhere Brigade.
00:50:29Great stuff.
00:50:30Here's another bit.
00:50:31Sir Edmund, president of the Preserve London Society,
00:50:34accepted a 1,000... snigger to your petition.
00:50:38That'll be the guardian.
00:50:39Right.
00:50:40From local resid-nets.
00:50:42And the society are pressing the GLC for a preservation order.
00:50:46I'll tell you another thing we could do.
00:50:48If the worst comes to the worst,
00:50:49we could occupy the building.
00:50:51We already occupy it.
00:50:52We've got a lease.
00:50:53Oh, well, so much better.
00:50:55Won't be illegal.
00:50:56Is there anything in your paper?
00:50:57Yeah.
00:50:5838, 24, 36.
00:51:00Has appeared in Crossroads,
00:51:02The Benny Hill Show,
00:51:03and hopes one day to be an actress.
00:51:07Listen, um...
00:51:09Does anybody fancy a game or something?
00:51:12What, cards?
00:51:13No, no, no, not cards.
00:51:15How about, um...
00:51:16How about a little game of Monopoly?
00:51:18Oh, half the money's missing.
00:51:20Well, we don't have to play with money.
00:51:22I mean, uh...
00:51:23You know...
00:51:24We can play with something else.
00:51:28Not strict Monopoly.
00:51:30Why not?
00:51:31Oh, all right.
00:51:32Then get the board out.
00:51:33All right.
00:51:34Actually, my granddad taught me how to play this.
00:51:37I always win.
00:51:38Uh...
00:51:39Very kind of you to see me, Sir Edmund.
00:51:42Well, I'm afraid it won't do you much good, Mr.
00:51:44Um...
00:51:45Mr.
00:51:46Uh...
00:51:47Plutero.
00:51:48Plutero.
00:51:49I'm totally opposed to your scheme.
00:51:51Yes, indeed.
00:51:53You haven't spoken out so strongly for years.
00:51:56Not since your great campaign against purchase tax on Jim slips.
00:52:01Uh, yes.
00:52:02Well, um...
00:52:03I shall continue to speak out on television tomorrow night.
00:52:04I shall be putting the facts before the public.
00:52:05Including the fact that you own one of the properties?
00:52:06These faceless men.
00:52:07What?
00:52:08At number five, I think.
00:52:09Um...
00:52:10Um...
00:52:11Yes, well, one has to have a house in one's own constituency.
00:52:12I seldom use it myself.
00:52:13No.
00:52:14Uh, Miss Hazel Lovett is, I believe, the occupier.
00:52:15Ah, yes.
00:52:16A friend of yours, I presume?
00:52:17Hmm.
00:52:18Yes.
00:52:19Or perhaps a friend of your good lady wife?
00:52:20Oh.
00:52:21Really?
00:52:22No.
00:52:23No.
00:52:24No.
00:52:25No.
00:52:26No.
00:52:27No.
00:52:28No.
00:52:29No.
00:52:30No.
00:52:31No.
00:52:32No.
00:52:33No.
00:52:34No.
00:52:35No.
00:52:36No.
00:52:37No.
00:52:38No.
00:52:39No.
00:52:40No.
00:52:41No.
00:52:42No.
00:52:43No.
00:52:44No.
00:52:45No.
00:52:46No.
00:52:47No.
00:52:48No.
00:52:49No.
00:52:50No.
00:53:01Hey, Mildred.
00:53:02They've got next door.
00:53:06Hey, they've got all of them except ours.
00:53:08Do you think of the strong bargaining position it puts us in?
00:53:10I mean, if we were thinking of selling it.
00:53:13Which we're not.
00:53:14Well, I'm going into town to buy myself a sexy, see-through nightie.
00:53:19What for?
00:53:20I'll tell you what for, George.
00:53:23Because if ever I die a violent death, you stand a fair chance of recognising the body.
00:53:31Tsh.
00:53:32Oh.
00:53:33Oh.
00:53:34Silly bitch.
00:53:35Silly bits.
00:53:59Typical of women, that. Selfish they are.
00:54:03I mean, when has she ever given me anything, hey?
00:54:05Oh, apart from you.
00:54:07Ah, chilly Arthur. Women?
00:54:09They've got...
00:54:11Arthur?
00:54:23Oh. Good morning.
00:54:25Mr. Rober.
00:54:27Maurice Pluthero.
00:54:29I wondered if I might have a word with your lady wife and yourself.
00:54:32Oh, we'll go through. She's out at the moment.
00:54:34Oh, what a pity. Still, I'm sure.
00:54:37You and I, man to man, so sweet.
00:54:40I was expecting this, you know.
00:54:42Oh?
00:54:43Follow me.
00:54:45You need this house, eh?
00:54:47The last one.
00:54:48Puts me in a very strong bargaining position, eh?
00:54:50Um, no.
00:54:52No.
00:54:53Yeah, well, of course, eh, I know all about these things.
00:54:56How do you mean?
00:54:57Well, I really dropped in to apologize, you see.
00:54:59When we knock down the other five houses, it's bound to cause you a lot of inconvenience.
00:55:04Dust, noise, possibly vermin.
00:55:08Reduce the value of your property.
00:55:10Hang on, hang on.
00:55:11I haven't refused to sell it.
00:55:13Well, I wouldn't try to persuade you, Mr. Rober.
00:55:15Oh, I'll sell it, yeah.
00:55:18The same price as you paid the others.
00:55:20Done.
00:55:21And you'll take it with the sitting tenants?
00:55:27What sitting tenants?
00:55:29Well, them upstairs.
00:55:30They've got a three-year lease.
00:55:32Are you suggesting I knock down the bottom half and leave them up there?
00:55:36Well, no, no.
00:55:37It doesn't prevent you buying a house, does it?
00:55:40How should I put it, Mr. Rober?
00:55:42Yes, it does.
00:55:43Which one of them actually signed the lease?
00:55:51Good afternoon.
00:55:52Well, well, well.
00:55:53Fancy seeing you, old people.
00:55:54Fruthera, off to lunch, are you?
00:55:55Yes.
00:55:56Well, perhaps I could give you a lift, or even buy you a lunch.
00:55:57Well, who?
00:55:58Oh, come now.
00:55:59Does there have to be a reason?
00:56:00Be my guest.
00:56:21Any particular restaurant you fancy?
00:56:25Savoy Grill?
00:56:26The Ritz?
00:56:27Do they take lunch and vouchers?
00:56:28No.
00:56:29I beg.
00:56:30I insist.
00:56:31Why?
00:56:32The pleasure of your company.
00:56:33Plus, of course, a small business matter to tidy up.
00:56:36Carlton Towers?
00:56:37No.
00:56:38I know a very nice little restaurant.
00:56:40Straight on.
00:56:41I thought I might add a touch more nutmeg, you know, just a gnats-like.
00:56:53You know, a subtle hint.
00:56:55I mean, if you think it's all right, if you don't, just say so.
00:56:57No, no, that'll be fine.
00:56:58Oh, great.
00:56:59Well, I'll go and wash me hands again.
00:57:01I've been touching the flour.
00:57:04Here.
00:57:05You see me just coming?
00:57:10Two hundred.
00:57:11Pounds.
00:57:12Just for your lease.
00:57:13What do you say, hmm?
00:57:14I'll tell you later.
00:57:15I wouldn't like to spoil your lunch.
00:57:16Ah, come now.
00:57:17Mr. Pluthero, I'm a naive young girl.
00:57:19I wouldn't say that.
00:57:20Oh, but it's what you were thinking.
00:57:22Look, you can't just buy people off.
00:57:23Ah, idealism.
00:57:24I'm an idealist.
00:57:25I'm an idealist.
00:57:26I'm an idealist.
00:57:27I'm an idealist.
00:57:28I'm an idealist.
00:57:29I'm an idealist.
00:57:30I'm an idealist.
00:57:31I'm an idealist.
00:57:33I'm an idealist myself.
00:57:34Two hundred and fifty.
00:57:36There are other people living in that flat.
00:57:38Loyalty.
00:57:39Of rare quality.
00:57:40Three hundred.
00:57:41What's the going rate for motherhood and the flag?
00:57:44I beg your pardon?
00:57:46Is this the same fellow you were telling me about?
00:57:48Yeah.
00:57:49It's because of him I've got to look for a new pad.
00:57:51I'll start with the avocado.
00:57:53Will you excuse me?
00:57:54Of course.
00:58:01What's going on, then?
00:58:02Well, not much.
00:58:03He's in the middle of trying to bribe me into throwing you and Joe out on the streets.
00:58:15Um, I've been thinking and I've changed my mind.
00:58:18Marvellous.
00:58:19I knew you would.
00:58:21I think I'll start with the beluga caviar instead.
00:58:23Oh.
00:58:24Yes.
00:58:25Oh, um, yes.
00:58:26Um, one caviar and, um, I'll have a prawn cocktail.
00:58:31Righto, monsieur.
00:58:32He's got a nerve.
00:58:33He really has.
00:58:34What he needs is a knuckle-butty.
00:58:35A salmon salad and a steak diane for me.
00:58:39Someone ought to teach him a lesson.
00:58:44Right.
00:58:45What's he ordered, then?
00:58:46Well, he's having a steak diane.
00:58:47Steak diane?
00:58:48There's a lot you can do to a steak diane.
00:58:49What are you going to do?
00:58:50I am going to add just a teeny bit too much black pepper.
00:58:51That's what I'm going to do.
00:58:52Ah, you can do a lot more to it than that, mate.
00:58:53Hey, you're right.
00:58:54Nip into the chemist next door.
00:58:55Of course, my mother wanted me to be a concert cellist,
00:58:56but, uh, I didn't have the knees for it.
00:58:57So I went into property management.
00:58:58From one big fiddle to another.
00:58:59Oh, very good.
00:59:00Yes.
00:59:01Ha, ha, ha.
00:59:02Ah.
00:59:03Ah.
00:59:04Ah.
00:59:05Ah.
00:59:06Ah.
00:59:07Ah.
00:59:08Ah.
00:59:09Ah.
00:59:10Ah.
00:59:11Ah.
00:59:12Ah.
00:59:13Ah.
00:59:14Ah.
00:59:15Ah.
00:59:16Ah.
00:59:17Ah.
00:59:18Ah.
00:59:19Ah.
00:59:20Ah.
00:59:21Ah.
00:59:22Ah.
00:59:23What?
00:59:24Ah.
00:59:25Ah.
00:59:26Ah.
00:59:27Ah.
00:59:28Ah.
00:59:29Ah.
00:59:30Ah.
00:59:31Ah.
00:59:32Yes.
00:59:33Very artistic lady, my mother.
00:59:35Ah.
00:59:36Ah.
00:59:37Ah.
00:59:38Ah.
00:59:39Ah.
00:59:40Ah.
00:59:41Ah.
00:59:42Ah.
00:59:43Ah, ah.
00:59:44Ah.
00:59:45Ah.
00:59:46Ah.
00:59:47Ah.
00:59:49Ah-Ah.
00:59:50Ah-Ah.
00:59:51Ah.
00:59:52Ah.
00:59:53How's it going, Chief?
00:59:55Yes, actually, I think I'll cut down on the brownie.
00:59:58Here. Try some of that instead.
01:00:01Syrup of things.
01:00:02Oh, come on.
01:00:04No, come on, you can't do that for a steak, Diane.
01:00:06I mean, it's just...
01:00:08You can.
01:00:11Oh, er, castor oil.
01:00:13Just a dollop for the flavor.
01:00:17Here.
01:00:18Let's burn some of that in as well.
01:00:20All right.
01:00:22What is it?
01:00:24Have some salts.
01:00:27Why not?
01:00:30Here.
01:00:32Oh, my God.
01:00:40Look, I know you're only doing your job.
01:00:42Yes.
01:00:43It's underhand, it's sneaky, it's rotten, but it is your job.
01:00:47Well?
01:00:48And you could go up to 400.
01:00:50400.
01:00:52And the answer would still be no.
01:00:54Oh.
01:00:58Very rich, this sauce.
01:01:00Pico, even.
01:01:04Actually, no, I think we might have gone a bit too far here.
01:01:06It says use half a teaspoonful.
01:01:08Still nothing seems to be happening.
01:01:10That's what they said about crack and sour.
01:01:13Well, look, perhaps I just thought I'd better go out there, you know, stroll out there and sort of casually mention that it's not an easy thing to bring up in a casual conversation, is it?
01:01:22Hardly.
01:01:23Hardly.
01:01:30If you really wanted to, you could stop it.
01:01:32Oh, I don't think I could, my dear.
01:01:34Well, the whole thing is too far advanced.
01:01:37We've agreed terms with five of the houses.
01:01:40So you're going to pull them down?
01:01:42Oh, I am indeed.
01:01:44Does your coffee taste all right?
01:01:46Fine.
01:01:48Must be me.
01:01:50Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.
01:01:52I'll make one final offer of...
01:02:00Excuse me a minute.
01:02:07Hello?
01:02:13I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.
01:02:15Uh, where was I?
01:02:21In there.
01:02:22Hmm?
01:02:23Oh, no, no.
01:02:24What was I saying?
01:02:25You were about to make a final offer.
01:02:27Ah, yes.
01:02:29And I was about to refuse it.
01:02:31Oh.
01:02:42Oh, thank you.
01:02:43Excuse me a minute.
01:02:51Well, right away.
01:02:52I, uh, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, sir.
01:02:55I had to stop off once or twice on the way.
01:02:59Did you get all the houses?
01:03:01Yes.
01:03:02Yes.
01:03:03Almost.
01:03:05Uh, not quite.
01:03:07No.
01:03:09Small problem with sitting tenants at number six.
01:03:11Troublemakers.
01:03:14Communists?
01:03:15No, worse.
01:03:16Idealists.
01:03:21Public relations tells me we're not getting a good press, Flutero.
01:03:24Ah, yes.
01:03:25Well, um, I, I, I can't, uh...
01:03:30Excuse me a moment, sir.
01:03:31Sit down.
01:03:33This could affect my knighthood.
01:03:38Spiroth.
01:03:39Uh, it may be personal, sir.
01:03:40I'll just leave you to, um...
01:03:41Stay!
01:03:44Hold on.
01:03:45I'm also informed from a reliable source that the GLC will grant a preservation order at their next meeting.
01:03:52Speak.
01:03:54Um...
01:03:55Yes.
01:03:57Yes, he's here with me now.
01:03:59No, I haven't told him.
01:04:00Yet.
01:04:04Public relations again.
01:04:06Uh, what, um, what haven't you told me, sir?
01:04:17Morris, you know I've always liked you.
01:04:20Oh, don't say that, sir.
01:04:22But I've been asked to appear on television this evening to defend our, your Middleton Terrace development.
01:04:29Not an easy task, sir.
01:04:31No, no.
01:04:32That's why I'm not going to do it.
01:04:35Wise, wise, wise.
01:04:37You are.
01:04:39And you will disarm any criticism of the project.
01:04:42How?
01:04:43By telling them it is cancelled.
01:04:45Yes, but... but why?
01:04:47On environmental and moral grounds.
01:04:51A sincere gesture to public opinion.
01:04:56And because a certain incompetent
01:04:58was unable to knock down all six houses before a preservation order was planted on them.
01:05:03If... if... if I was able to get all the houses, I... I... I could still...
01:05:08Six o'clock tonight, Morris.
01:05:11I'll be watching.
01:05:14And, uh...
01:05:16Should my name come up...
01:05:18Don't forget to stress that I give a lot to charities.
01:05:22Anonymously.
01:05:24Children's children.
01:05:25No, no.
01:05:27Make it dogs.
01:05:30Clotharo?
01:05:31Where are you going?
01:05:33Not in my private washroom.
01:05:34Clotharo!
01:05:51Clotharo!
01:06:03Clotharo!
01:06:05Clotharo!
01:06:10Clotharo!
01:06:16Clotharo!
01:06:17Number six.
01:06:21Oh, you. Come in.
01:06:24Mr. Roper, I'll buy it.
01:06:26Eh? Well, you mean with the sitting tenants?
01:06:28Yes, yes. I don't think they'll stay long once I've knocked down the staircase.
01:06:31Sign this. There, there, and there.
01:06:35Can I use your washroom facilities?
01:06:37The what? Oh, you mean the bog?
01:06:39Oh, yeah. Well, it's actually there.
01:06:47All I need now is a pen.
01:06:55Oh, God.
01:06:57Those tube trains in the rush hour.
01:07:01All those men pressing up against you.
01:07:04You can't move. They're breathing in your ear.
01:07:07Oh, it was lovely.
01:07:09Very nice, I'm sure.
01:07:11Oh, by the way, I got me see-through nicely, though.
01:07:14There.
01:07:16I bet that'll send your blood pressure up.
01:07:19Oh, yeah?
01:07:20In fact, I'm sure of it.
01:07:21Look at the price tag.
01:07:23Gosh, true.
01:07:25Oh, and what have you got here?
01:07:27Oh, er, er, yeah.
01:07:29If you've signed it, I'll just...
01:07:31...afternoon.
01:07:33I see.
01:07:35Well, you tried to make me sign it, my love.
01:07:38But I didn't...
01:07:40Push off!
01:07:41You turned on 400 pounds?
01:07:43Go on, get out!
01:07:44I think that's right.
01:07:45Doft.
01:07:46Come on.
01:07:47Yeah, but it's nice as well.
01:07:48Oh, don't you believe it.
01:07:49I was holding out for 500, but he left.
01:07:50Go on.
01:07:51Out.
01:07:52Mr. Rubber.
01:07:53Coming in here, baffling my poor, greedy little husband like that here.
01:07:57Get out!
01:07:58Mr. Rubber, this is your last opportunity.
01:08:00If you do not take it, I shall go on television tonight and cancel the whole project.
01:08:04What?
01:08:05It's true.
01:08:06Look.
01:08:07That's great.
01:08:08Fantastic.
01:08:09That's exactly what we want.
01:08:11Isn't it, George?
01:08:13Think, think of my wife and children.
01:08:15That's them, there.
01:08:16Look.
01:08:17Look.
01:08:18If their daddy doesn't make us access to this, what will happen to the little mites?
01:08:21Oh, my God.
01:08:22It's not easy when your father is a failure.
01:08:26You're hard, you people.
01:08:27Hard.
01:08:28Just into his car.
01:08:29No, George.
01:08:30You just get in there.
01:08:31I have your photograph back, Jenkins.
01:08:33Right now.
01:08:34Um.
01:08:35How are you feeling?
01:08:36Ha.
01:08:37Thought you might be.
01:08:38Thames Television, Euston Road.
01:08:40So, we cancel one project.
01:08:41There'll be others for me.
01:08:42You have your ear to the consent.
01:08:43Yes.
01:08:44I have your photograph back, Jenkins.
01:08:46Not now.
01:08:47How are you feeling?
01:08:48Ha.
01:08:49I thought you might be.
01:08:50Thames Television, Euston Road.
01:08:53So, we cancel one project.
01:08:55There'll be others for me.
01:09:00so we cancel one project there'll be others for me you have your ear to the ground jenkins you
01:09:11know who's on the way up and who's on the way out don't you oh that's it george we won what's the
01:09:24name of that program he's on hey no today six o'clock we must watch it get the sherry out george we deserve
01:09:31a little celebration oh hello hello love where's everybody oh they're in the kitchen
01:09:46we were wondering whether you'd like to join us from all that money
01:10:05after all if he'd sold the house where would we be now visiting him in hospital love
01:10:18it just shows you when ordinary men and women get together and put their minds to it they can
01:10:22really do things yeah i'll drink that yes so will i oh hello never mind dear there's a drink waiting
01:10:30for you downstairs i've only got sherry oh nothing like a pint of drank sherry oh no come on if i get
01:10:41whiskey in george drinks it right george
01:10:44george oh where's he go i've got an idea
01:11:09uh there i was right here look that's where he's going well come on
01:11:18oh where are you go where are you going
01:11:27this is where pluthero's gone
01:11:32should we ask him first oh i'm sure he won't mind
01:11:47oh yes sir old victor now hey just a minute very good
01:12:14i've got to see a man that's his role outside he's going on the uh what's his name the today
01:12:21program oh that's studio free sir ah just a minute do you have a ticket
01:12:26what oh no look look just step aside i'm in a hurry unless you've got a ticket you can't go in
01:12:31there now don't you come back with me i know your sort oh do you
01:12:34i pay my license jumped up twit
01:12:41but is this absolutely necessary yes love i mean we don't want your nose flaring do we
01:12:53oh dear i do hope we don't get any strobing off those wrinkles
01:12:57ah sir edmund oh looking a bit peaky how do you do
01:13:03oh
01:13:04oh
01:13:05oh
01:13:06oh
01:13:08oh
01:13:22oh
01:13:26oh
01:13:27oh
01:13:28oh
01:13:29Hold it, hold it. Where do you think you're going?
01:13:38Um, I'm a vicar.
01:13:41I'm, um, I'm a freaked out hippie swinging vicar of, um,
01:13:46St. Teresa's of the, um, of the Roses.
01:13:49And, uh, I'm doing the, uh, epilogue, um,
01:13:53interviewing Miss, um, Miss World, Miss World here.
01:13:57I'm interested in travel and meeting people, and religion.
01:14:02Which way's the today's TVO?
01:14:03Have any of you got any tickets?
01:14:05We want to catch my husband before he gets into...
01:14:08What?
01:14:09Arthur.
01:14:11Eh?
01:14:12Arthur Mulgrove.
01:14:14Mildred.
01:14:16Mildred Asquith.
01:14:19Oh, Arthur.
01:14:21Mildred.
01:14:22Do you think those two know each other?
01:14:25Mildred, eh?
01:14:30Oh, well, well, well.
01:14:33Arthur.
01:14:34Fancy that.
01:14:36My Mildred.
01:14:38Stop it! Stop it, you hear me, or you go blind!
01:14:41Excuse me.
01:14:42Who are you?
01:14:43Uh, uh, uh, Mr. Roper.
01:14:45What a good memory you've got.
01:14:46Oh, thank you.
01:14:47Yeah, look, I'm, I'm looking for today.
01:14:48Today? This is today.
01:14:50He's here with us all day today.
01:14:51No, no, no.
01:14:52All day today.
01:14:53Even if you're standing on it.
01:14:54No, no, no.
01:14:55All these walls are today.
01:14:56No, I mean the...
01:14:57General direction.
01:14:58It's all in the general direction today.
01:14:59No, studio, studio three.
01:15:00Studio three?
01:15:01Yes.
01:15:02Straight up here.
01:15:04To the left.
01:15:06And left again.
01:15:07Left again.
01:15:08And then left again.
01:15:09Yeah.
01:15:10Well, and I'll be there.
01:15:11No, you'll be back here.
01:15:12But by then somebody might be here who knows the way.
01:15:13Let me get these things out.
01:15:14Yes.
01:15:15Well, I kept your photograph with me.
01:15:16All through the Moray and campaign.
01:15:17Wrapped up in me.
01:15:18Oh.
01:15:19Oh, well.
01:15:20Here.
01:15:21I made my budgie after you.
01:15:22Oh, Mildred.
01:15:23Ha.
01:15:24I would have replied to your letters, but you never wrote any.
01:15:27Oh.
01:15:28Well, I didn't want my feelings for you going home.
01:15:30Oh.
01:15:31Well, I didn't want my feelings for you going home.
01:15:33Oh, Mildred.
01:15:34Ha.
01:15:35Ha.
01:15:36Ha.
01:15:37I would have replied to your letters, but you never wrote any.
01:15:39Oh.
01:15:40Well, I didn't want my feelings for you going home.
01:15:42I didn't want my feelings for you going through the army censor now, did I?
01:15:45Oh.
01:15:46I didn't know.
01:15:47Yeah.
01:15:48Well, then you see, I took up with this butcher's boy.
01:15:49Oh.
01:15:50Anything ever come of that, then?
01:15:52Oh, no.
01:15:53Nothing at all.
01:15:54I married him.
01:15:55Well, thank you.
01:15:56Tell Bill three minutes to go.
01:15:59Yes, sir.
01:16:00If he wants to.
01:16:01They have air conditioning, don't they?
01:16:03Well, they do.
01:16:04There's a damn slight order in the house, Richard.
01:16:06Um, Sir Edmund Ware?
01:16:07What?
01:16:08How do you do, sir?
01:16:09What?
01:16:10What?
01:16:11Good Lord.
01:16:13Well, I didn't expect this.
01:16:16What a surprise.
01:16:18You certainly had me fooled.
01:16:20Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:16:21No, Sir Edmund.
01:16:22This is not your life.
01:16:24This is just the program script.
01:16:25Sorry.
01:16:26Mr. Prothero.
01:16:27How do you do, sir?
01:16:28How do you do?
01:16:29May I?
01:16:30No, I'm afraid you can't.
01:16:32Where's the blind?
01:16:33Do you hear me?
01:16:34Oh, excuse me.
01:16:35Of course.
01:16:36Anything for a sailor?
01:16:37Oh.
01:16:38Autographs?
01:16:39Right.
01:16:40I didn't really want to go.
01:16:41A new, a new hiker puncture.
01:16:42See through autographs.
01:16:43I wanted your autograph.
01:16:44Actually, sorry.
01:16:45Can you tell us where Studio 3 is?
01:16:46Of course.
01:16:47You go straight up there,
01:16:48and look at the Stoke-on-Trent,
01:16:49and ask again.
01:16:50I think you're very funny,
01:16:51and you really make me laugh.
01:16:52I'm sure he doesn't want to know about that.
01:16:53Shut up!
01:16:54Kung Fu!
01:16:55Go on street somewhere else.
01:16:56Carry on.
01:16:57Tell me more.
01:16:58Excuse me, but...
01:16:59No, no, no.
01:17:00White will win in the end.
01:17:01Ah, no chance, Jack.
01:17:02Black will win in the end.
01:17:03White, excuse me.
01:17:04Black.
01:17:05Look, I've been doing these chess problems for years.
01:17:06White may be a pawn dance.
01:17:07White may be a pawn dance.
01:17:08But, you know, you're very funny.
01:17:09Very funny.
01:17:10Very funny.
01:17:11And you really make me laugh.
01:17:12I'm sure he doesn't want to know about that.
01:17:13Shut up!
01:17:14Kung Fu!
01:17:15Go on street somewhere else.
01:17:16Carry on.
01:17:17Tell me more.
01:17:18Excuse me, but...
01:17:19No, no, no.
01:17:20White will win in the end.
01:17:21No, no, no.
01:17:22White will win in the end.
01:17:23No, no chance, Jack.
01:17:24I've been doing these chess problems for years.
01:17:26White may be a pawn down.
01:17:27But his bit...
01:17:28Excuse me.
01:17:29Do you know...
01:17:30Here.
01:17:31You're, er...
01:17:32I know you.
01:17:33You're Sambo the Nignog.
01:17:35Straight out of the jungle.
01:17:37Just a minute.
01:17:38Do you mind?
01:17:39You mustn't talk to my friend like that.
01:17:41Well, you do.
01:17:42I'm the telly.
01:17:43He gets paid for it.
01:17:44I mean, you're just as bad.
01:17:45I mean, you call him White Onky and Snowflakes and...
01:17:49Do you know the way to Studio Three?
01:17:52That way.
01:17:54Oh, I can't.
01:17:55Dear, dear, dear.
01:17:57What have you been, mate?
01:17:59I think I fancy a White Lady.
01:18:01Pardon?
01:18:03John, who had it come to?
01:18:06Look, I know you're a tin man, lad, but let's photograph the money, eh?
01:18:13On the bill.
01:18:172.45, done by telecine.
01:18:21Uh, let me in.
01:18:22I've got the seat.
01:18:23Are you one of the invited audience, sir?
01:18:25Uh, yeah, yeah.
01:18:26All right, got in there.
01:18:27Behave yourself in an orderly fashion.
01:18:29No fidgeting, no smoking.
01:18:30All right.
01:18:33Now, be quiet!
01:18:34I'm sorry.
01:18:35I, um, I trust you're not going to say a word about, uh, Hazel.
01:18:50Yes, love it.
01:18:51I wouldn't want the world to know that I'd been keeping a young lady in number five.
01:18:58No, you wouldn't, would you?
01:19:01Ten seconds to go.
01:19:03Good luck, boys and girls.
01:19:05Nine, eight, seven, roll telecine, five, four, three, two, one.
01:19:15Good evening, and welcome to tonight's edition of the Today programme.
01:19:19We're going to devote the whole of this evening to the Middleton Terrace controversy, a project
01:19:24which really has highlighted the scandal of homes being swept away and replacing them
01:19:30by office blocks.
01:19:32With me in the studio, I have Sir Edmund Weir.
01:19:36Good evening.
01:19:38Good evening.
01:19:39And Mr. Morris Plothero.
01:19:42Aye, it's Maldmore Chopsworth.
01:19:43Look, couldn't you just let them sneak in quietly?
01:19:46It's very important.
01:19:47I'm not allowed to let you in.
01:19:52I'm not allowed to smoke on duty, are they?
01:19:56Or accept, uh, gratuities.
01:19:58Um...
01:20:01Perhaps, uh...
01:20:02Ah, well, the, uh, the programme has started, but, uh, perhaps, uh...
01:20:11Very liquid voucher.
01:20:22Well, I've got some, uh, press cuttings here, gentlemen.
01:20:26Now, here's one.
01:20:27These property leeches, I'm quoting now,
01:20:30These property leeches must be plucked from the fair body of England's capital.
01:20:36We shall fight them on the planning committees.
01:20:38We shall fight them on the local councils.
01:20:40We shall never surrender until this misbegotten project is cancelled.
01:20:45Your own words, Sir Edmund.
01:20:47You still stand by them.
01:20:49Well...
01:20:53No.
01:20:54No?
01:20:55No.
01:20:56No.
01:20:58I see.
01:20:59Well, there we have the respective positions.
01:21:01Hey, there's Roper.
01:21:02Later in the programme, there'll be questions from the studio audience.
01:21:04But in the meantime, if I understand the position correctly,
01:21:06You, Sir, are now in favour of the offices.
01:21:07And you are against them.
01:21:08Yes.
01:21:09And no.
01:21:10Who the hell's that?
01:21:11Fred, be a puppet.
01:21:12Uh...
01:21:13Get him out, will you?
01:21:14No.
01:21:15No.
01:21:16Not altogether.
01:21:17He's got the agreement.
01:21:18You see, the bill...
01:21:19No.
01:21:20No.
01:21:21No.
01:21:22No.
01:21:23No.
01:21:24No.
01:21:25No.
01:21:26No.
01:21:27No.
01:21:28No.
01:21:29No.
01:21:30No.
01:21:31No.
01:21:32No.
01:21:33No.
01:21:34No.
01:21:35No.
01:21:36No.
01:21:37No.
01:21:38No.
01:21:39No.
01:21:40No.
01:21:41No.
01:21:42No.
01:21:43He's got the agreement.
01:21:44You see, Mr. Bill, we property people are misunderstood.
01:21:47For instance, I have here the plans, the office development permits.
01:21:52I just wanted a word with him.
01:21:53He'd got what he wants.
01:21:55Right.
01:21:56Kali.
01:21:57Krach.
01:21:58Good evening.
01:21:59And the agreements equitably arrived at by five of the child, including,
01:22:05Oh yes.
01:22:08But my superior, Mr. Spiros, a man who has given several children to dogs' charities, anonymously, of course, and who is very anxious about his knighthood, has decided to cancel the whole project on environmental grounds.
01:22:27So it only remains for me to publicly tear this loft up and announce that compensation will be paid to each and every...
01:22:41Number six?
01:22:43Oh, isn't that a lovely sight?
01:22:58Right.
01:22:59Hey.
01:23:01Morning!
01:23:06Go on.
01:23:08Chrissie?
01:23:09Mm-hmm?
01:23:09Have you ever...
01:23:12Have you ever played, er, chess?
01:23:14Yes.
01:23:15My grandma taught me.
01:23:17Forget it.
01:23:19Ah, well, at least everybody's getting compensation.
01:23:22Everyone except the Ropers.
01:23:24Oh, I don't know.
01:23:25I think Mrs. Roper might be getting some.
01:23:31There's his taxi, George.
01:23:33Are you going to help him in with his luggage?
01:23:35Stuff his luggage.
01:23:36I don't know what we want to lodge her for anyway.
01:23:39Arthur!
01:23:40Oh, marvellous to see you.
01:23:41Oh, there we are.
01:23:42Morning, Mildred.
01:23:43Come on inside.
01:23:44George is just dying to see you.
01:23:45You're looking lovely.
01:23:46You're looking lovely.
01:23:47You're looking lovely.
01:23:48I know.
01:23:49Um, is that the game where you try to huff people?
01:23:52No, no, no, no, no.
01:23:53That's drafts.
01:23:54Oh, well, then I can't play chess.
01:23:55Aren't you?
01:23:56Well, you see, it's a very simple game.
01:23:57But first of all, you must find out the value of the pieces, you see.
01:23:58Now, say, for instance, here we have a pawn.
01:23:59You're looking lovely.
01:24:00You're looking lovely.
01:24:01I know.
01:24:02Um, is that the game where you try to huff people?
01:24:05No, no, no, no, no.
01:24:06That's drafts.
01:24:07Oh, well, then I can't play chess.
01:24:09Aren't you?
01:24:10Well, you see, it's a very simple game.
01:24:14But first of all, you must find out the value of the pieces, you see.
01:24:19Now, say, for instance, here we have a pawn.
01:24:22Pawn.
01:24:23Pawn, that's right.
01:24:24And that's worth a pair of tights.
01:24:26See?
01:24:27Mm-hmm.
01:24:28Here we have a bishop.
01:24:30And that's got to be worth a skirt.
01:24:33And here we have a bishop.
01:24:35And that's got to be worth a skirt.
01:24:37Mm-hmm.
01:24:38And here we have the queen.
01:24:40Queen.
01:24:41Queen, yes.
01:24:42And that's got to be worth a...
01:24:43Well, we'll sort that out some other time.
01:24:45But you see, our object of the game is to try to mate.
01:24:51I've always had it easy with a man about the place
01:24:58Steaming up the mirror when I'm making up my face
01:25:04He's just a friend, a helping hand, a ready, willing smile
01:25:11But could it be that love has been here on my doorstep all the while?
01:25:21But it's not easy when he's always been just a man about the house
01:25:28Must rearrange things, not to estrange him
01:25:32Now I know
01:25:35With all the little things we've shared and said
01:25:38Right from the start
01:25:41How can I tell him what's here in my heart?
01:25:48Without it
01:25:49No
01:25:51I can tell him what's here again
01:25:52But I know
01:25:55I know
01:25:57I know
01:25:59I know
01:26:01But I know
01:26:02I know
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