Perfect Pub Walks with Bill Bailey Season 2 Episode 2

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Transcript

00:00Well, should we have just a little, just a little moment.

00:06We allow ourselves maybe just...

00:07Do you mean use the R word?

00:09A minute. Well, relax. Come on, now.

00:11I'll try. Hold on a minute. I'll just... I'll try.

00:15Talk me through this.

00:16Right, so we lay back.

00:19Well, now, it's just, you're honest,

00:21lie back and just gently work your way up.

00:26Part of the body, part of the body,

00:27starting with your toes and then the arches of your feet

00:30and then your ankles and lower legs

00:32and just switch off all the muscles

00:35until you feel how heavy they are.

00:43I can feel you're not relaxing.

00:45Please, sir, I'm a bit bored already.

00:47Can I sit up and use my binoculars?

00:49You sit up and use your binoculars. That's fine.

00:54Time for that sort of stuff.

00:57Oh, let's run away and I don't know where we are going to.

01:03Goodness, can you imagine?

01:04Oh, yeah.

01:08Cheers.

01:09Cheers.

01:10Men of a certain vintage.

01:13Oh, they're not very good at talking.

01:17Lady Henry!

01:18That is a spitfire.

01:22It is a spitfire.

01:23Oh, two. Look at that.

01:26Well, talking about the big, important stuff, at any rate.

01:29It's got furniture.

01:30And look at this.

01:31Sofa.

01:32That's magnificent.

01:34Comedian and lover of the great outdoors,

01:36Alexander Armstrong has a plan.

01:38I love walking and I grew up deep in rural Northumberland,

01:42so countryside is very much in my blood.

01:45What do you do to relax?

01:47Struggle.

01:48So I've designed these walks so that my guests can get away from all the hustle and bustle of their normal lives.

01:54It's a chance to open up and talk about things that perhaps you wouldn't talk about normally.

01:58Now I've got a bit older.

01:59I am reverting to childhood, whether I like it or not.

02:03Everyone else seemed okay, and I seemed to be the only one that was broken.

02:07And I hated myself.

02:09He's taking some of our best-loved national treasures.

02:12Okay, you ready?

02:13Yes, sir.

02:14Has anyone done the risk assessment for this?

02:16On some spectacular pub walks.

02:19That's glorious.

02:20They just had a funicular railway to get you up here.

02:23Can fresh air.

02:25Hang on.

02:26That's bird poo, isn't it?

02:27Yeah, that's bird poo.

02:27The odd pint.

02:28And the sun's out.

02:30The sun's out.

02:31That's right.

02:33And some good old-fashioned messing about.

02:36Oh, look at the things for that.

02:39Get men to share what's really going on in their lives.

02:43This is bliss in its purest form.

02:46My life is blessed.

02:47If the Lord decides to pluck me now, I can't really have any complaints.

02:52Last order's at the bar now, please.

02:54Chris.

02:58Hello.

03:00Today, Xander is taking wildlife presenter and climate campaigner Chris Packham walking through

03:06the Kent countryside.

03:07Chris is a highly respected wildlife presenter, but behind the spring watch personality, he's

03:16also recognised for his deep and committed activism.

03:19I quite like Kent.

03:20Some good and interesting things here, aren't there?

03:22There are some.

03:22You know it well.

03:23I don't know it that well.

03:24I think you can probably tell me as much as I can tell you.

03:26Let's.

03:27Shall we?

03:28He's a bit of a puzzle.

03:30You know, he's been very open about his neurodiversity, and I want to know what drives

03:35him, and I want to get to the root of who he is.

03:37Swing is swinging.

03:39It really is.

03:39In fact, it's kind of almost summering, isn't it?

03:42It is.

03:42Maybe a bit too summering.

03:45Oh, everything is about to change, but I say, bring it closer to me.

03:52Now, I know people, people talk about tree-hugging, don't they?

04:03They call people tree-huggers.

04:04Yeah, there's a disparaging term, though, don't they?

04:07It's not disparaging for me.

04:09I'm going to embrace it.

04:09I'm going to embrace the tree.

04:11I embrace the term and the tree.

04:13I embrace the tree, too.

04:14Yeah, look, I can.

04:16Ah.

04:17Ah.

04:19I'm not going to make silly noises.

04:20It's lovely.

04:22I don't know what I'm waiting for, but love's going to come my way.

04:49Oh, oh, oh, it's going to come my way.

04:54It's the first day of Xander and Chrissie's adventure in Kent.

04:57I know, another name.

04:58I like walking.

05:00I like being able to take in the world at that pace.

05:03You're, you're, you're...

05:04Fantastic.

05:05But, to be honest with you, I'm not a fan of pubs.

05:11As an autistic person, they can be, you know, really overwhelming.

05:16Sorry.

05:16We're going on a pub walk, and you've invited a bloke that is not very keen on pubs.

05:21Sounds.

05:28Garden of England.

05:29The Garden of England.

05:31How did it get that designation?

05:34Apples and hops, I'm guessing.

05:36I don't know.

05:37That's the point, yeah.

05:38Yeah.

05:39I'd have thought.

05:39It was a massive fruit growing, wasn't it?

05:41Even up to the end of the war.

05:43Yeah.

05:43I've heard somewhere that you don't like fruit.

05:46I don't eat fruit.

05:47What is it?

05:48What is it?

05:49Is it texture?

05:50It's a texture.

05:50Texture.

05:51Oh, my God.

05:51I mean, the idea of touching an overripe nectarine fills me with dread.

05:57Chime.

06:00Xander and Chris are beginning their walk in Kent on the Pilgrim's Way,

06:05an ancient track Christians took en route to Canterbury Cathedral.

06:10From there, they'll explore Noel House,

06:13which Henry VIII seized from the Archbishop of Canterbury.

06:18Destination is the Buckshead pub,

06:20which is a quiet, secluded beer garden.

06:26Kent is the most beautiful county.

06:28I mean, the Garden of England, historically.

06:31But there's another side to Kent.

06:32I mean, it's been the scene of so much battle over the years,

06:36going all the way back to the Romans and the Saxons,

06:38and then right the way up to the Battle of Britain.

06:40And I think it raises interesting questions about what we care about,

06:45you know, what we would be willing to go into battle for.

06:48So, I suppose the first question I really want to ask you

06:52is where did your love of nature start?

06:56Well, my parents say that I had a fascination for everything

07:01that sort of crawled, crept, slimed and stung,

07:05you know, before I could even speak.

07:06Whenever I found anything that had been, you know,

07:09run over, dead squirrel in the gutter,

07:11I'd take it home and get the penknife out,

07:13and I wanted to know what was inside.

07:15You know, I always wanted to sort of understand it more.

07:19There was always that sort of curiosity that came with it as well.

07:23Chris grew up in Southampton with his mum,

07:27Rita, and dad, Colin, a marine engineer.

07:32I mean, again, I was fortunate that my parents allowed me

07:35to turn the house and garden into a menagerie.

07:39I remember my mum and dad watching a cop show on TV,

07:42and basically I'd gone up the stairs with a badger cub

07:46under my pajamas.

07:49And, you know, eventually I'd fallen asleep.

07:52The next thing I know, there was an enormous ruckus going on,

07:55and the badger had got under the bed

07:57and completely trashed my sabutia.

08:00Francis Lee had been decapitated...

08:02Oh, no!

08:03..and worse by the badger.

08:04My earliest memories go back to when I was about four and a half.

08:14At the local zoo, I remember getting licked by a giraffe.

08:18My mum held me up, and this giraffe leaned down,

08:21wrapped its tongue around me and, you know, and licked me.

08:24And my mum sent me to the toilet and said,

08:26go and wash your face.

08:27And I remember going in and turning the tap on

08:29so she would hear it running,

08:30but not washing my face

08:32because I didn't want to wash the giraffe off, you know.

08:35So there was very much a sort of tactile connection thing

08:40at that point.

08:43Oh, oh, look!

08:47So what we can tell from the fact that that quill is missing at the tip...

08:52Yeah, it's interesting, yeah.

08:53..it means that it's been bitten off.

08:55The most likely culprit would be a fox.

08:58What's that there?

08:59No, that's not the dude, is it?

09:00A bit of rubbish, or is it a leaf?

09:02No, that's a bit more of it.

09:03Or is it more of the bird?

09:04Yeah, it's more of it, yeah.

09:06Oh, it is, you're right.

09:07Look at this.

09:08Yeah.

09:08It's like CSI.

09:09Yeah, it is, yeah.

09:11Yeah.

09:12How's it smelling?

09:13Well, the key thing is that very often foxes will,

09:17if they've eaten something,

09:18even when they've finished it, they scent mark it.

09:20I see, so you'll smell that sort of foxy.

09:23We can smell it.

09:24Oh, yeah, you absolutely can, yeah.

09:25But, yeah, that's the smell of fox.

09:27Great, isn't it?

09:27Isn't it?

09:28Absolutely fascinating.

09:30At this time of year, you know,

09:37I often say, you know, it's so green it hurts.

09:39Yeah.

09:40He is, above all else, very, very good company.

09:44He sees the world differently.

09:47He'll see patterns that I haven't seen,

09:48and he'll suddenly stop and point something out.

09:51He can make you see something in a completely different way.

09:55It glows, absolutely glows when it first opens.

09:59I find that really, really compelling.

10:02I love enthusiasm.

10:05So...

10:05Hold on.

10:08That is a Spitfire.

10:09It is a Spitfire.

10:10Look at that.

10:10I was about to say it is, isn't it?

10:12Oh, two.

10:12Look at that.

10:13Over Kent.

10:17How clever.

10:18So, you heard that, though, and you knew.

10:20So, my father was born in a house that overlooked Eastleigh Airport.

10:24Yeah.

10:25And when he was three years old, the first Spitfire flew from that airport.

10:29And he was only three, but something happened,

10:32because my dad was obsessed with Spitfires, you know,

10:35so they've been part of my life all of my life, basically, yeah.

10:41We shared an interest in history and natural history,

10:45and my dad brought me an atlas of the world.

10:48And I remember, all he did is he came in,

10:50and he just gave me this atlas and just walked out of the room.

10:53It was classic, my dad, you know.

10:55But, oh, God, I loved that atlas.

10:59It was great, wasn't it?

11:02The downside was, of course, he came back in the room about three days later

11:05and wanted me to know every capital city of every country in the world.

11:09Beautiful.

11:10Look at that, though.

11:10That's great, isn't it?

11:11Yeah, nice.

11:12That nice sort of scrubby escarpment.

11:18I never wanted to sort of fail my parents, particularly my dad,

11:22and they'd set the bar quite high.

11:24So, you know, I never met that bar.

11:31See, I don't measure anything in my life as being a success,

11:34and maybe that's a legacy of never achieving it as a child.

11:37I've read somewhere that you can identify a tree by touch alone.

11:54So, I'm going to blindfold you.

11:57OK.

11:59Zander and Chris have reached the 1,000-acre Knoll Park in Kent,

12:04which boasts trees that date back to the early 1700s.

12:07I'm going to ask you to identify a tree.

12:12OK.

12:13Am I allowed to touch it and feel it?

12:14You can touch it.

12:15You can smell its foliage.

12:17I like trees.

12:18I see them as a library I'd love to read.

12:22I mean, if trees could talk, can you imagine all of the things they could describe?

12:26There's your leaf now.

12:29They're living things that are hundreds, in some cases thousands of years old.

12:35And I use those old trees to humble me.

12:38I sit beneath them as an inconsequential little blip in the life of that tree.

12:44This could be an Acer tree.

12:46An Acer.

12:47Would you like to remove the...

12:48Let me help you with that.

12:51There we are.

12:52See anything now anyway.

12:55Yeah, it's an Acer.

12:56Excellent.

12:57Yeah.

12:57Well done.

12:58Nice tree.

12:59Very nice tree.

13:00In the middle of the park stands the magnificent Knoll House.

13:07Once a hunting residence for Henry VIII, it's one of the largest country houses in England.

13:16Look at that.

13:17What a courtyard.

13:24Well, let's wander in.

13:30Incredible, commanding view.

13:40Yeah.

13:43It's also the last remaining medieval deer park in Kent.

13:48And they have, I think, 350 fallow deer and seeker deer as well.

13:54Never really tell the difference between those two.

13:56They look quite similar.

13:57Look at their bottoms.

13:58Ah, I'm looking at the wrong end.

14:00You're looking at the wrong end.

14:01Yeah.

14:02Exactly.

14:09During its long history, Knoll House has stood witness to many strange periods in British life.

14:16Come through to the hall.

14:23Goodness.

14:24In 1605, the gunpowder plot to blow up Parliament and kill King James led to an outbreak of mass hysteria.

14:34Come through here.

14:35There's something I really want to show you.

14:39In a secret attic directly above the King's bedroom, a recent discovery revealed no one was immune to the widespread panic.

14:47Not even the King.

14:49These are witches' marks designed to protect King James I.

14:57His belief was that if you went to bed, evil spirits could come down your chimney, enter your body and you could become possessed.

15:04And what's really exciting about this is that these were green timbers that went into this house in the year of the gunpowder plot.

15:13So these witches' marks are really a reflection of that terrible paranoia that's going on in the country.

15:20That's exactly right.

15:21Yeah.

15:25Going into old buildings, you're in that space where something happened and it gives you a much greater capacity to understand it.

15:34And also you can taste it and smell it and feel it and touch it.

15:38Wow, what do you make of that?

15:43I mean, in a way, things haven't changed too much.

15:46We still have all of these sorts of beliefs and divisive things and conspiracies.

15:53And to some extent, I've suffered from that.

15:55I had my own little gunpowder plot at home when someone parked a vehicle packed with fuel outside the gate, lit the blue touch paper and walked calmly away and blew up the front part of my house.

16:07In the middle of the night?

16:08In the middle of the night.

16:09In the middle of the night, yeah.

16:11And that's terrifying.

16:15Chris' campaigning on issues like climate change and animal rights have thrust him into the firing line.

16:21He's fought legal battles, received death threats, and three years ago, two masked men blew up a Land Rover outside the gates of his home.

16:31The irony was that it just merely added more fuel to my desire.

16:36Well, it has, isn't it?

16:37Yeah, yeah.

16:39I'm not afraid of conflict.

16:42I have to stand up and speak out about issues that really concern me.

16:47The one thing I, you know, I did, when the gates burned, and they burned into this beautiful patina that was like mackerel skin, and I made them into three beautiful coffee tables.

16:59Because if you're angry, you've got to turn that anger into something positive.

17:03So I thought, well, you can burn my gates down, but I'm going to make a beautiful coffee table.

17:07The nearby Buck's Head pub in Godham Green was built in the 16th century.

17:21Are you a fan of pubs, Chris?

17:22I've got to be honest with you, I'm not the greatest fan of pubs.

17:26There is a beer garden.

17:28We'll go straight through there.

17:29I'm a fan of gardens.

17:30Excellent.

17:31Gardens we can do.

17:32He's a fascinating person, because there's a sweetness to him, but there is an intensity.

17:40I mean, I'll be very honest with you, Chris and I don't have the same opinions on everything, but I'm getting to understand what actually makes him tick.

17:49Yeah, highlights of the day?

17:51Er, two Spitfires flying over is going to take, you know, something to top it.

17:56That was amazing.

17:57Yeah.

17:58I thought the attack on Chris's house was just terrifying.

18:01I mean, if I ever have any, just online abuse, I can't sleep for days.

18:05I mean, it's deeply upsetting.

18:07He said, no, I'm fine with it.

18:09That's just superhuman.

18:12Cheers.

18:13Cheers.

18:14Cheers.

18:14Can't wait for tomorrow now.

18:16No, not can I.

18:17It's going to be a beautiful day as well.

18:18Mm-hmm.

18:19Given how excited you were that we saw those Spitfires, I've made a little bit of a detour, and I think I've managed to wangle something.

18:37Oh, my goodness.

18:40Before today's walking, Xander is taking Chris on a quick diversion to nearby RAF Biggen Hill.

18:51Now I'm noticing, I can feel the sort of purr coming from you.

18:54Squadrons of Spitfires and Hurricanes flew sorties from here during the Battle of Britain, in which the mighty German Luftwaffe was defeated.

19:04Look at that.

19:10Oh, look at them.

19:12Look at that.

19:14My dad, you know, was a war child, and he watched the development of the Spitfire.

19:19Years later, when I first got my job in TV for the really wild show, I managed to get my dad a flight in a Spitfire.

19:26And I've got a picture here I'm going to show you, because this is the most important picture.

19:29I mean, I take photos all the time, but look, there he is.

19:32Look at that.

19:33And that's opposite my bed, so when I wake up in the morning, I've got my dad in a Spitfire.

19:37Oh, that's lovely.

19:39My dad was so happy, right, that in the aftermath, he never spoke of it.

19:43He was humbled by it.

19:45Well, to the end of his life.

19:47Really.

19:49Chris's dad, Colin, died in 2021, at the age of 88.

19:55We had two working class kids, me and my sister.

19:57We grew up in three up, three down.

19:59You know, being able to get my dad in a Spitfire,

20:01it was like the culmination of all of that was, you know, a real sense of achievement there.

20:07Finally, finally.

20:09I felt that I'd got to a point where I was able to give something back of some magnitude

20:12to a person that had put so much into my life, you know.

20:16This is bliss in its purest form.

20:20And the sun shone and there were skylarks and my dad had the flight helmet on and, yeah,

20:27it was absolutely amazing.

20:30It was amazing.

20:30After their detour, Chris and Xander will next explore the orchards of the National Fruit Collection.

20:42They'll visit a disused gunpowder works, scene of a wartime tragedy,

20:48before heading to the Ore Marshes, a wetland mecca for twitchers.

20:54Destination today is the Three Mariners pub.

20:57Well, we wondered yesterday why it was the Garden of England.

21:06Yeah.

21:06I think we've got our answer.

21:07This is it, isn't it?

21:08It's a fruit museum.

21:10Fruit library.

21:13The National Fruit Collection boasts nearly three and a half thousand varieties of different fruit trees.

21:21So, Chris, I'm interested to know, what do you do to relax?

21:26Struggle.

21:27I struggle to relax.

21:29There's not many things I do where I stop and think, well, I'm solely going to do this because I want to relax.

21:34I think it's part of the condition, maybe, maybe part of the condition.

21:39But, you know, I think that's such a, it's very interesting because what we, we haven't talked about your diagnosis,

21:44actually quite late life diagnosis of what was then generally known as Asperger's.

21:49In his forties, Chris was diagnosed with Asperger's, a form of autism, which helped him make sense of some of the challenges he faced growing up.

22:00There were difficulties at home.

22:04So, my mother would struggle to manage me.

22:07And at school, everything was pretty much okay up until I was about 12.

22:12And then I found it impossible to segue into teen society.

22:16Yeah.

22:16And teen society entirely rejected me.

22:19So, I was ostracised at that point.

22:21And I was physically bullied, but only to a marginal degree.

22:24It was the mental bullying.

22:25And I hated myself.

22:26You see, the key thing was, everyone else seemed okay.

22:30And I seemed to be the only one that was broken.

22:32Yeah.

22:33So, obviously, I blamed myself.

22:35And initially, I was frustrated and angry.

22:38But then it got to a point of self-loathing where I absolutely hated being me.

22:46And I remember sitting in my room writing, everything I am is wrong.

22:51Everything I am is wrong.

22:52Everything I am is wrong.

22:53Until the whole side of the paper is covered.

22:55And that's not coming from a good place in terms of mental health at all.

23:00No, no.

23:01You know?

23:01I can't.

23:03I'm, we have an autistic son.

23:06And I, everything you've described, everything you've described is part of our lives.

23:13I've never, I've never spoken about my, my son before.

23:18It's, it's a funny thing.

23:20You, as a, as a parent of an autistic child, it's a wonderful thing.

23:25Incredibly challenging life.

23:28You, you're on a constant journey of reminding yourself that somebody is having to live on

23:34this sort of axis where the rest of us live on this.

23:38That sort of agony of, of trying to live life that's almost insurmountably tough.

23:44It's a journey with no arrival being autistic.

23:47And it's, it's, you just have to hope that road is, is going largely in the right direction.

23:55To give solace to, you know, to your, to your son is that it does get better.

24:00The solution for me was control.

24:04You know, the key thing is, right, I can't control all of this.

24:06I can't control the outlife.

24:08I couldn't control life in the classroom.

24:09I had no choice when the lesson started and stopped.

24:12When I left home, sort of 16, immediately I could control my physical environment, the

24:17room that I rented.

24:18I could control which clothes that I wore.

24:20And taking control of all of those things, that became my path to self-management, which

24:26allowed me to get through, you know, albeit with struggles that period.

24:30I mean, I'm, I'm amazed.

24:32I'm amazed that you got through that.

24:35I hope we're up to managing this as best we can.

24:38We're knowing for you.

24:40Yeah.

24:40And, and for your child is going to be, I hope, so much more advantageous, basically.

24:45Yeah.

24:45I, I didn't know that, that Xander's son was autistic.

24:53If I can tell Xander how his son is feeling, why he's behaving in certain ways, it could

25:00improve both of their lives.

25:01And therefore my job, if you like, as an advocate is, is worthwhile.

25:06Right.

25:07Lovely.

25:07Shall we?

25:08You ready?

25:09Yeah.

25:10Shall we?

25:10Let's.

25:11Oh.

25:15Now, unbelievably, this peaceful haven was the UK's gunpowder manufacturer.

25:37I love the smell of gunpowder.

25:39You ever smelled it?

25:39Oh, yes.

25:40Hey.

25:41It was a little bit like the smell in bumper cars.

25:44I don't know why, that's a hot electric metal smell.

25:47The smell of bumper cars.

25:48There's something.

25:50Xander and Chris have reached the ore gunpowder works, where in 1916, a fire triggered a huge

25:57explosion, which killed 108 men and boys.

26:02It was heard in France, apparently.

26:03Heard in France?

26:0415 miles away, there were broken windows.

26:0715 miles?

26:08Yeah.

26:09I mean, can you imagine, I'm amazed at any of it still stands.

26:12Yeah, I hadn't wondered how any of this survived.

26:27Just sort of digesting your experience of your teens.

26:32I mean, really, really bleak time for you.

26:35Yeah, I was bleak.

26:37Obviously, I was trying to find a way out, and I was trying to find something in terms

26:41of understanding myself.

26:44And the one thing that really came along fortuitously was punk rock.

26:47What it meant was, is that I could change the way that I looked radically, so that I was

26:52identifiably different than the rest of the kids around me.

26:55Yeah.

26:56And that, you know, was empowering.

26:58The second thing is that I was extraordinarily angry.

27:04And punk, there was a lot of anger in punk, but it was about using that energy in a creative

27:08way.

27:09It was about trying to instigate change.

27:11Did you feel that you interacted with people better as a result of this?

27:15Zander and Chris have reached the ore marshes on the banks of the Swale Tidal Channel.

27:35Oh, oh, look.

27:37Oh, look at this.

27:38That's nice, isn't it?

27:39It's a moth caterpillar.

27:41Oh, yes.

27:41Nice and hairy.

27:43Look at that.

27:44You wouldn't want to eat that, you see, because all of these hairs are going to be severely

27:48irritating, so they're a form of protection for it.

27:52Having said that, I mean, birds are adept at eating these, so this would be the perfect

27:56meal for a cuckoo.

27:57They tend to sort of snip the head off.

27:59So they don't get the hair.

27:59And then they beat it like this, and then they can eat it.

28:03But that's an absolute beauty, isn't it?

28:07Wonderful.

28:08Oh.

28:10Excellent.

28:18The ore marshes are home to an abundance of wildlife and migratory birds.

28:26Perfect.

28:27Right.

28:31The best bird I can see is the avocet, the Audrey Hepburn of birds, I credo.

28:38Would you tell me where it is, see if I can find it?

28:40They're black and white.

28:42Yeah.

28:42You know in Audrey in sort of 59, 60, 61?

28:45Breakfast at Tiffany's.

28:46Wearing all of those classic Chanel smart suits.

28:51Yes.

28:51You know, that's the avocet.

28:54It's got that delicate upturned bill.

28:56Black.

28:57Blue legs.

28:58After completing a zoology degree, Chris's life changed in 1986 when he tried out as a presenter

29:05for a new kids' TV programme.

29:07I met someone who was making natural history films for the BBC.

29:12Yeah.

29:12And then I heard about the really wild show and I rather forcefully insisted on having

29:19an audition.

29:20And they said, we'll let you know.

29:23And I went away and they didn't let me know.

29:26The phone didn't ring.

29:27I used to get the exchange and mark on Thursday because I had aspirations to buy an Aston Martin

29:31motor car, right?

29:33And the prices were going up the whole time and I had absolutely no money at all.

29:38The following day, I spent the last of my dole money, got the train to Bristol and I

29:43went in and the producer was sat at his desk.

29:45And I said to him, listen, I've got plenty to do in my life, so are you going to give

29:51me this job or are you going to give me this job?

29:53Because if you're not, I'm going to go and get on with it.

29:56And he looked at me and smiled and gave me the job.

29:59So you got the gig.

30:00I got the gig.

30:01Big question is, did you get the Aston Martin?

30:04Went to the bank, got a loan and on Christmas Eve, 1986, I bought a DB6 Mark II.

30:13Do you still own it?

30:16Do you?

30:17Yeah.

30:18I mean, that's an extraordinary turnaround from where we were when we were discussing

30:22your teens.

30:24Well done you.

30:25Superb.

30:25I heard you say, meet you in the long grass, something good of our lives, when you wear

30:40our lives, when you wear our lives, when you wear our lives, when you wear our lives.

30:45And here we are.

30:48Three Mariners.

30:49What happened to the 4th?

30:50Oh, best we don't speak at the 4th.

30:52Ha ha ha ha ha.

30:54The Three Mariners pub in Orr has been providing sustenance to weary travellers for around 250

31:01years.

31:01Anyway, well, here's to a great day.

31:04Cheers.

31:05Another great day, wasn't it?

31:06And really, really interesting.

31:08I've loved today.

31:08Yeah.

31:09Do you drink generally?

31:11Or are you teetotally?

31:12So, no.

31:13So I haven't had a drink since January.

31:15And I go through these periods of rigid abstinence.

31:20I'm going to stick this through now till Christmas.

31:22Christmas.

31:23And it'll have to be a special occasion, presumably.

31:25I generally sort of pick a day.

31:28Yeah, that's good.

31:29And then I typically buy a glass of champagne, a bottle of champagne, and then mix it with

31:35tequila.

31:36So I leave straight.

31:37Just because it tastes filthy, but it gets you there.

31:40Straight back in.

31:41Straight back in.

31:42Stripping at the hard, hard end, on the hard end of things.

31:46Wow.

31:47Well, here's to a great day.

31:49Cheers.

31:50Yeah.

31:50Very good.

31:52And the cherry orchard.

31:53Mmm.

31:54I like the cherry orchard.

31:55The cherry orchard.

32:03It's Xander and Chris's final day in Kent, and to get to the next section of their walk,

32:09they've left terra firma.

32:11Well, this is very nice.

32:12A nice start to our third day.

32:14I said it was going to be a pub walk.

32:15It's a pub sale.

32:16A pub sale?

32:17Yeah.

32:17It's great, isn't it?

32:18I thought, well, I thought we might go up the medway.

32:20There was a good way of exploring it.

32:22The Hoo Peninsula here.

32:24The Hoo.

32:25It's a lovely Saxon word, isn't it?

32:27It is.

32:27Saxon?

32:28Yeah, like Sutton Hoo.

32:29Sutton Hoo.

32:30And Luton Hoo.

32:31Luton Hoo.

32:32And The Who.

32:33And The Who.

32:33And The Who's Who.

32:35The Who's Who.

32:38This once heavily fortified stretch of the medway is home to the Royal Navy dockyards

32:44at Chatham, which made the boats on which the British Empire was built.

32:50Look, there's a pillbox there.

32:52Yeah.

32:52So, rather more recent defences.

32:54Yeah.

32:54I suppose a lot of this area, therefore, is martial, either defensive with all these forts

33:02along here, or offensive in terms of building that extraordinary naval power.

33:09Yeah.

33:09I mean, even in the middle of the 19th century, during the reign of Napoleon III, they thought

33:13there was a danger of invasion from him, so the so-called Palmerston Forts were built

33:18along here to protect against that.

33:20But hilariously, this is the pace of change in the 19th century.

33:23By the time they'd finished building them, they were obsolete.

33:26But I suppose the extraordinary ingenuity demanded by battle, it's a mad sort of energy, a spur,

33:36isn't it?

33:37Yeah.

33:37But then I suppose it's your fighting spirit that's driven you, isn't it?

33:41That's kind of been your fuel, hasn't it?

33:43Yeah, I guess it is.

33:44I mean, there's a problem that needs to be confronted.

33:46It must be overcome.

33:48Yeah.

33:48And therefore, you get stuck in, basically.

33:52I mean, do you feel depleted by all these campaigns, all these battles you fight?

33:59It's extraordinary.

34:00No, no, I feel completely invigorated.

34:03Yeah.

34:03Absolutely.

34:04You know, it's exhilarating, and they're focused around my desire to affect change in ecology

34:11and conservation and environment.

34:14I don't shy away from that conflict.

34:16And also, I'm running out of time.

34:17I'm 64 years old.

34:19I don't know how long I've got.

34:20Yeah.

34:20So, you know, with less time, I've clearly got more to do.

34:24So, rather than slow down, I've got to ramp it up.

34:26After returning to dry land, Xander and Chris will explore the Who shoreline and go mudlarking

34:42for naval treasures.

34:44They'll see a mysterious graveyard where boats go to die.

34:48Before visiting the scene of one of the Navy's worst defeats, they'll finish with one final drink by the river.

34:56I mean, there are some old Roman ruins here.

35:09But, of course, I mean, there have been people here for centuries.

35:12I mean, not just people who live here, but people involved in heavy industry.

35:16And you can find all manner of treasures along here, sort of clay pipes.

35:21Clay pipes?

35:21Clay pipes.

35:22Because they were disposable, clay pipes.

35:24Yes, of course they were, yeah.

35:26They were kind of the vapes of their day.

35:29I mean, look, here's a bit of pipe here.

35:31I mean, I don't know what the history of that would be.

35:34Victorian sewer.

35:35Victorian sewer?

35:35Yeah, very definitely early.

35:37About 1800, I think that a stool of Nelson's probably slipped over that before Trafalgar, mate.

35:43You put that.

35:44Get that in your museum.

35:45There you go.

35:47Very nice.

35:49Another soup dish.

35:51Lots of crockery.

35:52Lot of crockery.

35:53I'm seeing that.

35:55But the thing is, we know, don't we, that somewhere on this beach is a real treasure.

35:59Somewhere just that deep in the mud is something truly special.

36:09The Hu boat graveyard is one such secret gem.

36:17More than 30 wrecks, among them World War II barges and pleasure cruisers,

36:23have been left to rot here in the Medway mud.

36:29Look at that.

36:30Look at it.

36:33That's great, isn't it?

36:35I mean, that's, you know, as a kid.

36:38Yeah.

36:38That's Nefertiti's funeral barge.

36:41Yeah.

36:41You know, that's...

36:42See, I was thinking precisely that.

36:44Agamemnon's warship, you know.

36:45Well, it is.

36:46Achilles was at the prow of that.

36:48Yes.

36:49In golden armour.

36:50Yes!

36:53It was a sign to Chris that sort of just,

36:55it's been opening up over the last couple of days,

36:57and then something in him just went vroom

36:59and you could see the lights come on in his eyes.

37:01Just absolute glee.

37:04Look at that.

37:05Look at it.

37:05That's got to have something in it, hasn't it?

37:07Got to.

37:08Eh?

37:09Oh.

37:10If you were poking around in there,

37:12you'd find pennies, you'd find pots.

37:15Beautiful.

37:15I love old stuff like that.

37:17Yeah.

37:18It's quite combustible, his enthusiasm,

37:20and it sort of brings you with it.

37:21The warmth that comes from it is great.

37:25He's like a kid again.

37:28What time are we finishing today?

37:29I don't know.

37:30Well, I'm going to come back.

37:32You must.

37:32That's my Mary Rose.

37:34Are you going to take it?

37:35I want to start a charity to assume that.

37:37I've got a shade I can make it wet inside.

37:39I need a project.

37:40When he was in his thirties,

37:57Chris became a stepfather to Megan,

37:59who is now also a wildlife TV presenter.

38:04For my fortieth birthday,

38:07Megan's mother bought me a poodle.

38:10We had him for a year,

38:11and he became the absolute epicentre of my universe.

38:16I mean, I loved him so much.

38:18And shortly after his first birthday,

38:21he was run over and killed,

38:22and he died in my arms and sat in the garden.

38:26And everything...

38:29That was it.

38:30Everything just went to pieces, basically.

38:32And I went into a very, very significant depression.

38:36The relationship that I had with Megan's mum

38:39kind of started to fall apart.

38:41And then, in order to overcome it,

38:48Megan's mother got Itchy and Scratchy,

38:49two more poodles.

38:50She thought, I know,

38:52the only hope here is to throw two more dogs into his life

38:55that he can bond with,

38:56and that will save him.

38:58And, you know, ultimately they did,

38:59because I'd got to the point where I was thinking about,

39:02where I'd gone beyond thinking about,

39:03I was going to end my life.

39:04And I didn't do it because of Itchy and Scratchy.

39:08And, um...

39:10Because I couldn't leave them.

39:11Because I loved them so much.

39:13And as things sort of calmed down,

39:21and I became really scared of the fact

39:24that I'd nearly killed myself,

39:26and I sort of thought,

39:27I've got to do something about this.

39:29So, finally, I started, of course, therapy,

39:33which went on for three years.

39:34So, I do think that, basically,

39:36seeking that help at that time

39:38was probably a lifesaver, basically.

39:42So, there we are, anyway.

39:46Blimey.

39:48Well, it's good to have you with us, I must say.

39:50Thanks.

39:51Yeah.

39:52The closer you get to ending it,

39:54the more real it becomes,

39:56and in some ways,

39:58the greater value it gives your life.

40:01The reason I'm having this conversation

40:03is because I don't want any other young men

40:05to be in that position that I was in.

40:08Ask for help.

40:10Be honest.

40:10You don't have to be fine.

40:12You can be in trouble.

40:16Shall we move on?

40:18I think we need to.

40:20I think we need to.

40:21I've moved on, so let's move on.

40:23Sander and Chris have got just one stop left

40:45before their final pub in Kent.

40:47Well, Chris, we've seen various castles,

40:55and this one is the last of our walk.

40:59It's Upna Castle.

41:00Upna Castle.

41:01Upna Castle.

41:03Upna Castle was built to guard warships

41:06at Chatham Dockyard,

41:07but it proved ineffective in 1667

41:11during the Second Anglo-Dutch War

41:13when the Dutch Navy sailed by relatively untroubled

41:17before destroying or capturing much of the British fleet.

41:21Two days they were there, though.

41:24Two days.

41:24Oh, it wasn't smash and grab.

41:26Oh, no, no.

41:27In here, they're all just busy playing croquet.

41:29They stopped for coffee.

41:29No idea what's going on.

41:31The Dutch were there.

41:32The rotters.

41:32Oh, I know.

41:35Despite the humiliation,

41:37the castle was still in military use

41:39as a store for ammunition and gunpowder

41:42until the end of the Second World War.

41:50I'm very grateful.

41:51You've given me any number of gifts.

41:53We've been to some amazing places.

41:55I've really, really enjoyed it.

41:57So I'm going to give you something, if I may.

41:59Yes, please do.

42:00It's a song,

42:01and it was written in 1978

42:04by Pauline Murray,

42:06who was the lead singer of Penetration Punk Band.

42:09It's spoken to me all of my life.

42:11When I'm feeling a little bit depleted,

42:13when the batteries need replacing,

42:15I put this on,

42:15and I play it very, very loud.

42:18It's called Shout Above the Noise.

42:21The preachers run towards their shelters.

42:23They've got to find somewhere to hide.

42:26Discontentment fills the air

42:27as everyone looks for some escape.

42:30Don't let them win.

42:31Don't let them drag you in.

42:33Shout above the noise.

42:35When everything around you falls

42:37and all the walls are closing in,

42:40situation's in control.

42:42You must exercise your strength of will.

42:45Don't let them win.

42:47Don't let them drag you in.

42:48Shout above the noise.

42:52It's beautifully written.

42:53That, that defines

42:56and has entirely shaped my life.

43:06Oh, I think I'm still just very punk.

43:09But that, that raw energy,

43:12you know, that ferocious,

43:14ferocious, unstoppable desire

43:16to communicate that anger

43:18and turn it into something progressive.

43:20I can't let people get away

43:22with doing bad things

43:23about things that I care about passionately.

43:27That's the direction I was set to travel on.

43:29It's almost like a manifest destiny.

43:31That's what's important to me.

43:33But after fighting battles on many fronts,

43:38Chris has recently reached a painful conclusion

43:40about the environmental campaign.

43:42I mean, the difficulty

43:45that I've been grappling with recently

43:47is that I've got to be honest with you,

43:50I don't think I can win.

43:53I don't think we can win.

43:55Really?

43:56Mm.

43:56I think that what we're into now

43:58is significant damage limitation.

44:00Yeah.

44:01It's about keeping going.

44:03There's still plenty of things to fight for.

44:05Look at the things we've seen

44:06during the course of our walk.

44:07Yeah.

44:08We're a remarkable organism.

44:10But this is when we've got to pull it together.

44:12This needs to be our finest hour.

44:15This is where we really show

44:16what humanity is capable of.

44:18Otherwise, we'll lose it.

44:25Chris's greatest creation, I think,

44:27is the journey of his life.

44:29And it's an amazing story.

44:31There's something to be greatly admired

44:33in his resilience and in his survival.

44:36There's something truly heroic about that.

44:41He's a real one-off.

44:43He sees things differently.

44:44You know, he absorbs things differently.

44:46And he's helped me understand

44:48my autistic son better.

44:54We've covered so much ground.

44:56I mean...

44:56So many things we've seen.

44:58So much, yeah.

44:59I know.

45:01Xander and Chrissie's final pub

45:02is the Tudor Rose.

45:04Our third and final pub.

45:09Cheers.

45:10Cheers.

45:13You ready?

45:15I mean, everything you said

45:19has very particular resonance for me.

45:22So, you know, it really meant a lot.

45:25And as a parent of an autistic child,

45:27it's...

45:27I can't tell you how reassuring...

45:30I mean, really unbelievably reassuring it is

45:33to talk about it with you

45:35and, you know,

45:37and see this extraordinary outcome.

45:40Because it is a...

45:41It is a series of battles.

45:44Yeah.

45:44But I hope that some of the things

45:46that I've been able to articulate

45:48as an adult...

45:50Yeah.

45:50...you've been able to relate to your...

45:52I mean...

45:52...your son and then...

45:53I mean, unbelievably...

45:54That might help in some way, you know.

45:57Yeah.

45:57So thank you for that.

45:58I mean, that really resonates.

46:00Yeah, well, give him my best wishes.

46:01I will.

46:02You know, remember that thing

46:03about the tunnel and the light.

46:06Everything...

46:06It does get better.

46:07There's no question about that.

46:08Mm.

46:09Control.

46:10I mean, you are amazing.

46:11I mean, it's an extraordinary journey

46:14you've had on that.

46:16So, yeah, thank you.

46:17I've...

46:18I've really loved this.

46:19It's been amazing.

46:20It's been so hard to squeeze everything in.

46:21I know.

46:22I can't believe it.

46:23An embarrassment of riches.

46:25Excellent.

46:26Nice.

46:27Let me know when you're going out

46:28with your walking boots on again.

46:30Yeah, I will.

46:30Take me on an adventure.

46:36Let it be a golden one.

46:39I don't care much about the weather.

46:43So meet me in the morning sun.

46:49Take me on an adventure.

46:53Sure.

47:00I don't care much about the weather.

47:01I don't care much about the weather.

47:02I don't care much about the weather.

47:03I don't care much about the weather.

47:04I don't care much about the weather.

47:05I don't care much about the weather.

47:06I don't care much about the weather.

47:07I don't care much about the weather.

47:08I don't care much about the weather.

47:09I don't care much about the weather.

47:10I don't care much about the weather.

47:11I don't care much about the weather.

47:12I don't care much about the weather.

47:13I don't care much about the weather.

47:14I don't care much about the weather.

47:15I don't care much about the weather.

47:16I don't care much about the weather.

47:17I don't care much about the weather.

47:18I don't care much about the weather.

47:19I don't care much about the weather.

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