- 3 months ago
- #realityinsighthub
#RealityInsightHub
🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️
👉 Official Channel: https://www.dailymotion.com/TrailerBolt
👉 THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Category
😹
FunTranscript
01:29It's Dave Foley.
01:34Yes.
01:36Now, it's been a long time off.
01:39Let's get to the biggest stories of the week.
01:41Amber and Dave, watch the clip and tell me, what is the story?
01:46This story is about Yogi the Bear.
01:48And he got caught.
01:50Baby bear and there's a prominent baby bear eater.
01:53Right.
01:54That's inside his brain and that's also his brain activity.
01:57So the story is something to do with RFK Jr.
02:00RFK Jr. and bears and worms.
02:02Oh, my.
02:03The story is the many ways in which the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is going to kill us all.
02:12Here's what Stephen Miller said about RFK Jr.
02:16Secretary Kennedy has been a crown jewel of this administration.
02:20The crown jewel testified in front of a Senate panel earlier this week.
02:25And let's just say it was a doozy.
02:27I'm asking the questions here, Mr. Kennedy.
02:29You're evading that question.
02:30I'm asking the questions.
02:32You're the Secretary of Health and Human Services.
02:34You don't have any idea how many Americans died from COVID?
02:38I don't think anybody knows.
02:42Someone does know that.
02:43You're supposed to be the someone that knows that.
02:46I think Satan looks at RFK Jr. and thinks, I'm kind of overdoing it on this guy.
02:51The hearing comes amidst a major turmoil for the Department of Health and Human Services.
02:56In August, the Trump administration fired someone kind of important.
03:03Does anyone have any idea who they got rid of and why?
03:07We're just looking for one person?
03:09That part.
03:10I believe it's the head of the CDC, whatever the hell they do.
03:15I'm sure it's nothing important.
03:16Yes, correct.
03:17RFK Jr. and the Trump administration fired their own CDC director, Susan Menares.
03:23Now, you know, I'm not afraid to say she was a solid CDC director, and she killed it on who's the boss.
03:30Of course, the firing came up during the Secretary's Senate testimony.
03:35What reason do you think RFK Jr. gave for firing Susan Menares?
03:41Well, here I got to jump to RFK Jr.'s defense, because he had sound reason to fire her.
03:46Because he says, he asked her, point blank, are you a trustworthy person?
03:51And she said, no, I am not.
03:53Right, you would think if you were an untrustworthy person.
03:55You might lie?
03:56Yeah, you would answer in the negative of that.
03:58Ask me if I'm an untrustworthy person.
03:59Are you an untrustworthy person, Michael?
04:01I'm very trustworthy.
04:02Wow, you're good.
04:04Welcome to the new CDC director.
04:05Let's find out the answer.
04:09I told her that she had to resign, because I asked her, are you a trustworthy person?
04:14And she said, no.
04:17Time to play a little game I like to call, how is the government going to kill me?
04:24I thought we'd have a jingle, but okay.
04:26I'm going to give you all a situation, and you guess how a recent Trump administration
04:32decision might make you die.
04:36Great.
04:36All right, this game.
04:37Jasmine, you up first.
04:39That's a long list, honey.
04:40Okay.
04:41It's a lovely Thanksgiving dinner.
04:43You're there with your family.
04:45Your uncle just came in, asked you to borrow $20.
04:48You got your turkey.
04:50How will you die?
04:51It's the turkey.
04:52The bird flew or something, because they're not even testing for stuff no more.
04:56It's the food.
04:58It's the food.
04:58Points.
04:59Yes.
05:02The answer is salmonella poisoning.
05:06The Department of Agriculture is withdrawing a rule proposed to prevent food poisoning from
05:11poultry contaminated with salmonella.
05:14Dave, your turn.
05:16Oh, okay.
05:16You out on a hot date?
05:19Yeah.
05:19She's sexy?
05:20All right.
05:21Oh, and you're vibing?
05:22I may have already died at this point.
05:24And you and that girl go home, and then she goes, you got any condoms?
05:30And you go, I'm Dave Foley.
05:31I don't use condoms.
05:32How will you die?
05:33I will die of a, of a, of a, one of your classics, or maybe a brand new venereal disease.
05:39How say or not?
05:39Point!
05:39There we go.
05:40We're in mid-season form already.
05:44Dave, the answer is super gonorrhea.
05:47Oh, my God.
05:48I love those comic books.
05:49The Trump administration has eliminated the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's laboratories
05:57for STDs and hepatitis.
05:59And more specifically, they've shuttered the only lab in America with the ability to test
06:06for emergent strains of, quote, super gonorrhea.
06:12Final question on how the government will kill you.
06:14Right.
06:15You want to breathe air.
06:17Mm.
06:18Beep.
06:19And every day, you wake up and go, mm, air.
06:23Mm.
06:24How will you die?
06:27Is it from the air?
06:29What's in the air?
06:30We don't know, because they stopped testing for everything.
06:33Point, bitch.
06:35Yes.
06:35The government is closing the offices that analyze dangers posed by toxic chemicals, climate
06:44change, smog, wildfires, indoor air contaminants, and drinking water pollutants.
06:49Does it feel great again?
06:50If you're one of the DuPonts, it feels great again.
06:52Now, unfortunately, much like the diseases they refute to vaccinate for, the Trump administration's
06:58terrible ideas are spreading like wildfire.
07:01In fact, this week, one state has already decided to move and ban all vaccine mandates.
07:09Can anyone guess which state it is?
07:11And, Amber, why is it Florida?
07:12I never have the answer.
07:20The one time I know, you have to cock-block me.
07:26Here's Florida Surgeon General Joseph Ledepo.
07:29The Florida Department of Health, in partnership with the governor, is going to be working to
07:36end all vaccine mandates in Florida life.
07:40All of them.
07:41All of them.
07:42When it showed the guy and he was black, that hurt my feelings.
07:48Would you like for me to play a little bit more of him so he could hurt your feelings even more?
07:54Yes.
07:56What did he compare giving your kid a life-saving measles shot to?
08:02What did he compare vaccinations to?
08:06If the answer is slavery, I'll kill us all.
08:09Every last one of them is wrong and drips with disdain and slavery.
08:18I think maybe they aren't teaching what slavery was, clearly.
08:33But y'all vaccines and slavery are the same.
08:36Wouldn't you agree, Jasmine Crouch?
08:38No.
08:39You don't remember that?
08:40No.
08:40You don't remember that scene in Roots when they got vaccinated?
08:42You don't remember that scene in Roots when you turned it into an old Negro spirit.
08:54Who else are people skeptical about giving vaccines to?
09:00It's not just human beings.
09:01Doggies?
09:02The answer is dogs.
09:04Dogs?
09:04Oh.
09:05A study published in the journal Vaccine, actual name, found that about 37% of dog owners believe
09:14that canine vaccination could cause their dogs to develop autism.
09:20This explains a lot.
09:21I had my late German shepherd, who I love dearly, was totally nonverbal.
09:25Michael and Jasmine, watch the clip.
09:31Tell me, what's the story?
09:33All right.
09:33That's where you work?
09:34When we go to work.
09:35Uh-huh.
09:36That the FBI?
09:37Oh, oh, oh, there's files.
09:38Oh, redacted.
09:39I definitely know what this is.
09:40Is it the Epstein files?
09:41Is that the story?
09:42Yes.
09:42The story is the Epstein files, and that's the craze that's sweeping the nation and has
09:47everybody saying...
09:48Yeah, I'd be inclined to do the Epstein.
09:50I'd have no problem with it.
09:52Do the Epstein.
09:53You know?
09:53The latest TikTok news.
09:58This week, the House Oversight Committee released over 33,000 files related to the Epstein case.
10:05That sounds like a lot, but why were so many people disappointed in the latest Epstein drop?
10:11They redacted.
10:12You saw them over there.
10:13They scratching out the names.
10:15You didn't hear about them saying, all the conservatives got to go.
10:18Get him out.
10:18Get him out.
10:19So, and of course, you know, Trump.
10:21They're working overtime to make sure.
10:22Trump.
10:23Trump.
10:23Trump.
10:24But you probably hear whispers, like, in the halls of Congress about who's on that list.
10:27Who, who, who do you hear?
10:29Uh, we didn't hear whispers.
10:31Oh, you heard shouts and murders.
10:33We, we had survivors that gave us names.
10:35And I am applauding every single survivor right now because they have decided they're going to make their own list.
10:44Many were disappointed by the Epstein drop because most of it had already come out before.
10:50Ninety-seven percent of those documents were already part of the public domain.
10:54It's nothing new.
10:55This is all a charade.
10:56They haven't given us anything.
10:58They've given us the sleeves off their vest.
11:00That was Kentucky State rep.
11:03And always, they always looked sort of wet, Thomas Massey.
11:05Just always, just looked down.
11:08What was in the new three percent that was released?
11:12Oh, you would know.
11:15Can I just say, the way your eyes are moving on this topic, you know some shit.
11:20Because she's like...
11:24Video and the survivors.
11:29The only new info released was flight records and a video of Epstein's cell block from before his death
11:42that includes a minute missing from earlier videos.
11:47We can't find none of the Epstein, but y'all got all the Young Thug phone call recording.
11:53Dave, Young Thug is an American rapper who's been released in charge and is tearing the American hip-hop community apart.
11:59Oh.
12:00Okay.
12:01Congratulations?
12:03No?
12:04No.
12:04Oh.
12:05Brr.
12:08This week, Massey teamed up with Democratic Representative Ro Khanna to host a bipartisan rally
12:13outside the Capitol for those same survivors you're talking about, the survivors of Epstein sex trafficking.
12:19Massey and Khanna are leading the charge for something called a discharge petition
12:23that makes the DOJ turn over all their Epstein files.
12:28Is it okay to start the rumor that anyone who opposes releasing the Epstein files is in
12:36them?
12:36You know what we gotta do to find out who's on the list is just call out names and see
12:41if your eye twitch.
12:41I'ma say her name.
12:45You just look forward.
12:46I'ma just say her name.
12:47Yeah.
12:47Is this the first time you've been on the same side as Marjorie Taylor Greene in something?
12:51Yes.
12:51It is breaking news, honey.
12:54We don't get along.
12:55We don't agree.
12:56But we are on the same side on this.
12:59Mm-hmm.
13:00And I will tell you that she seemed authentic for once in her life.
13:05It's honestly so disgusting that we have a speaker of the house that basically has decided he
13:13is going to do whatever his orange master tells him to do, even if that means covering
13:19up for the pedophiles, because these people are pedophiles.
13:23I have to say, nothing in the world is cooler than all the victims getting together and being
13:27like, fuck all y'all.
13:29We know the list.
13:30We'll give you our own fucking list.
13:32Now, Massey and Conor continue to fight to get this petition passed.
13:40They have every House Democrat supporting the petition.
13:44Does anyone know how many Republican signatures they need to get this petition passed?
13:49How many Republicans you think they need?
13:51We need two more.
13:52Run for office.
13:54Oh, okay.
13:55It's a Republican.
13:56The problem is, I'm on the list.
13:59Yeah.
14:02Let's hear the number.
14:06212 Democrats.
14:08And Thomas Massey has done an extraordinary job.
14:10We have four Republicans already on the first day.
14:14So we only need two more.
14:16That's how I be talking when I'm trying to plan a threesome.
14:18I need two more.
14:19Oh, let's hope the odds are better.
14:31Uh, Republican rep Nancy Mace is on board.
14:34So is rumored Kit Rockett Lauren Boebert.
14:36So is Georgia rep and unofficial son and spokeswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.
14:41Is that her mugshot?
14:44You can't resist yourself.
14:46Jasmine Crockett, leave her with that.
14:48I was confused.
14:51Y'all on the same side on this.
14:52If you want a raggar, just give me a signal and I'll do it.
14:56Her eyes so close together, it looks like they're looking at one another.
15:00I can say shit like that.
15:02Marjorie Taylor Greene vowed to name, quote, every damn name of Epstein's clients.
15:10Let's hear it.
15:11I look forward to talking with President Trump about, about these women that I've met.
15:16Um, I also encouraged him already this morning that he should have these women in the Oval
15:20Office.
15:21They deserve to be there.
15:22He's already had them.
15:23That's the problem.
15:26Don't do it, girl.
15:27I know that's women, dames or girl?
15:30So Marjorie Taylor Greene has told us her plans to get President Trump in the same room
15:34with the survivors.
15:35Let's hear how those plans are coming along.
15:38What was his reaction about?
15:39I haven't got an answer back on that.
15:42While Trump's survivors were at the rally, Trump was meeting with the Polish president,
15:47Karol Nowroski, who you can tell is just thrilled to be sitting next to him for this press conference.
15:53So this is a Democrat hoax that never ends.
15:57You know, it reminds me a little of the, uh, Kennedy situation.
16:02We gave him everything over and over again, more and more and more, and nobody's ever
16:06satisfied.
16:07From what I understand, I could check, but from what I understand, thousands of pages
16:12of documents have been given.
16:14But it's really a Democrat hoax.
16:16You ever be at your friend's house and their parents get to fighting?
16:21Question for the panel.
16:22Uh, what do we think?
16:23Do you think the discharge petition will get enough support to get all of the evidence
16:28out there?
16:28There's no way that this discharge petition ever gets released, uh, if it's ever going
16:35to embarrass anybody who happens to be President of the United States.
16:40But then will it be released later?
16:44After?
16:48Do you think?
16:50You think so?
16:54I'll just wait.
16:55I'll wait.
17:02Adios!
17:03Welcome back.
17:04Time now for the Offend-O-Meter.
17:08Ooh.
17:08We will fire up the Offend-O-Meter and teams have to tell us who's the offender, what
17:12they did, and who they offended.
17:14First up, who is this offender, y'all?
17:17Oh.
17:17Oh, no.
17:18Gavin Newsom.
17:20Oh, yes.
17:21Well, it certainly can't be that he's on the Epstein list.
17:25Because if you sound pissed, it's because you're on the list.
17:29I'm just joking.
17:32I think that's it.
17:33If you pissed, you're on the list.
17:34If you pissed, it's because you're on the list.
17:35That's it.
17:36Yes, that is California Governor Gavin Newsom.
17:39Did he offend England by having those teeth?
17:44I'm English.
17:45I think Gavin Newsom offended black people for asking to be allowed in a juke joint.
17:53Well, you should have seen sinners, and you would have got that joke.
17:57Yeah.
17:59Hey, the black people got it.
18:00They know the juke joint.
18:01I watch the juke joint.
18:03Yeah, it was a good movie.
18:04So cool.
18:05Who did Gavin Newsom offend?
18:08Well, all Republicans as far as I'm concerned.
18:13But no, obviously my bootleg governor, feeling away, as well as, you know, the bootleg president.
18:18Yes.
18:18They're upset because he said, you're not going to roll all over me.
18:22I'm going to fight back.
18:23Yes, he did.
18:24Newsom offended MAGA supporters because he's been going hard posting AI videos like this
18:33one in which he drinks MAGA tears.
18:36And this one, where he's shaking hands with a tiny trunk.
18:47Troll on, my brother.
18:48Troll on.
18:49That video is worth the 10,000 acres of rainforest that we're destroying.
18:54Newsom's also been trolling Trump all summer by emulating his style, tweeting things like,
19:00Donald is finished.
19:02He's no longer hot.
19:04First the hands, so tiny.
19:05And now me, Gavin C. Newsom, have taken away his step.
19:11Many are saying he can't even do the big stairs on Air Force One anymore unless he uses the little baby stairs.
19:18That's a quality, kind of, sort of, okay, Donald Trump impersonation.
19:23That's right up there with Alec Baldwin.
19:25That's neck and neck.
19:26I hate this.
19:28I know I'm in the minority on this.
19:30I hate that he's doing this because I hate that we're reducing our politicians to cartoon characters.
19:36I don't give a shit how well you control online.
19:40Do your fucking job.
19:41That's what I care about.
19:42But.
19:46Do you feel.
19:47I know she's going to disagree with me.
19:48Listen, and this is my partner.
19:50This is my partner.
19:50We on the same team.
19:52But at the same time, your answer was that MAGA is losing their shit right now.
19:57Correct.
19:58And they're like, this is immature.
20:00Yes, that's what we've been saying.
20:02That is what we're trying to get you to see.
20:04It is immature.
20:05It is ignorant.
20:06And it does not prove that you should be having the nuclear codes.
20:10Like, we want you to do better next time.
20:12So, yes, I think it is necessary because we are putting a good old mirror up in your head.
20:17To make you understand that y'all been supporting a real ignorant fool this whole time.
20:21I don't like what you said because that's like how people do us when people are like, they're over here making jokes.
20:27But there's serious shit going on.
20:29Man, por que no los dos?
20:32But we're, like, we're literally comedians.
20:35He's literally the governor.
20:37Trump is literally the Trump.
20:38And he's doing the same thing.
20:40Yeah, and he sucks.
20:41And he's getting a lot of shit done.
20:43He is.
20:44It's not good.
20:46But it's frequent and it is happening.
20:48I think Michael's antique desire for integrity is adorable.
20:52Now, it's hard to decide.
20:59But maybe the dumbest thing Newsom has posted is this AI image of himself being prayed over by Kid Rock,
21:07Parker Carlson, and a Hulk Hogan angel.
21:11And you can tell it's AI because the fingers are weird and also Hulk Hogan is in heaven.
21:17That's what we think.
21:22But how has the right responded to Gavin Newsom's spot-on Trump impression?
21:28I would guess that they feel the same way Michael feels.
21:31That don't you think it's bad you got something in common with them?
21:36They responded by not getting the joke at all.
21:41Why is he spending all this time, you know, trying to be fresh with President Trump?
21:45Why doesn't he do his job?
21:46I don't know what he's trying to do, but it comes across as childish.
21:51And what are you're the governor of the biggest state in the union.
21:55What are you doing?
21:56Stop it with the Twitter thing.
21:58I don't know where his wife is.
22:00If I were his wife, I would say, you are making a fool of yourself.
22:04Stop it.
22:05That's what you sound like.
22:13I agree with them.
22:14Oh, yuck.
22:16Stop it.
22:17Stop it right now.
22:18But wait a minute.
22:19Like Pritzker, the governor of Illinois, is out there making the same exact points, but
22:24doing it in a way that is mature, intelligent, rational, reasonable, and doesn't come across
22:31like he's just a needy little baby sucking at the teat of public attention, which I think
22:34is what Gavin Newsom is doing.
22:35Those people already vote Democrat.
22:39We don't need their votes.
22:40We need the idiot votes.
22:42Let's get stupid.
22:43Let's do stupid memes.
22:46Let's have cartoons.
22:47You said we need to get the idiots to vote Democratic.
22:51Dave is already voting Democratic.
22:54If I could vote.
22:55Now, it does seem to be working.
22:58The strategy seems to be working for Newsom.
23:00In 2025, he's gained over 3 million followers across TikTok, Instagram, X, and Substack.
23:06Does anyone know how Newsom is going on the offensive now and taking the fight to Trump?
23:13So Newsom is saying, fine, Texas, if you're going to do it, we're going to do it.
23:15And they're trying to add congressional seats to California to offset the losses that may
23:21happen in Texas.
23:22November 4th, everybody needs to go vote in California.
23:25Go vote!
23:27Newsom has been mounting a huge fight against Trump's gerrymandering.
23:31According to the New York Times, quote, a redistricting arms race is quickly spreading
23:37across the country.
23:38And as our boy Gavin put it, California will now draw new, more beautiful maps.
23:43They will be historic as they will end the Trump presidency.
23:48Thank you for your attention to this matter.
23:51So he's fighting fire with fire, essentially.
23:54But here's the thing.
23:55If the goal is to put out fire, why are you adding fire?
24:01Because you're not going to put out the fire with more fire.
24:03That's not true.
24:03That's what they do for forest fires all the time.
24:05Shut up, Dave.
24:08Something to call the backfire.
24:10Yeah.
24:13Redistrict and Hoke Hogan AI.
24:16Let's see if we can make it to midterms.
24:19Who is this offender?
24:22That's President Xi.
24:23Yes.
24:24Who did he offend?
24:26Is it because he doesn't want the Epstein files to be released?
24:31And if he looks pissed, that means he's on the list.
24:35Is that true?
24:36That is Chinese President Xi Jinping.
24:40He offended President Donald J. Trump when he didn't invite Trump to the big dictator sleepover earlier this week.
24:47Well, when you say big dick like that, he's not going to get invited.
24:50In Beijing on Wednesday, Xi presided over a massive military parade with guest Vladimir Putin.
25:02Kim Jong-un was also on hand to watch the big show.
25:05But Trump wasn't invited.
25:08So he did what he always does when he sees his friends hanging out without him.
25:12He posted about it.
25:14May President Xi and the wonderful people of China have a great and lasting day of celebration.
25:19Please give my warmest regards to Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un as you conspire against the United States of America.
25:27President Donald J. Trump.
25:29That's a great Arnold Schwarzenegger, though.
25:30Trump didn't get invited, which I feel like, to be fair, to Putin, he probably was like, my bad, dude.
25:39I thought you was dead.
25:40I heard it.
25:42Trump was obviously annoyed by this.
25:44So who did he call instead after this snub?
25:49You've been snubbed by these people?
25:50You've got to call somebody and have a friend.
25:52He should call one of their friends.
25:55Did he?
25:56Do they have other friends?
25:57Trump said he was calling Ukrainian President Zelensky this week.
26:04Yes, we about to petty our way to a peace deal.
26:08You see they're over there meeting without us.
26:11Mm-hmm.
26:14I don't know why I added that to Trump.
26:16That was the offender meter.
26:18Welcome back.
26:28It's time for Lie Curious.
26:30I give you three biographical details about a public figure, but only one is true.
26:35You have to guess which is the truth and which are filthy, funky lies.
26:39Let's get started.
26:40Time now for three facts about New York City mayoral candidate Zoran Mamdani.
26:46Mamdani, seen here watching Eric Adams bribe a reporter with a briefcase full of Funyuns.
26:56Our facts about Mamdani are his favorite Sex in the City character is Miranda.
27:02He's taken every bus route in New York City.
27:04He's appeared in an episode of Nailed It.
27:07Oh.
27:08Which is the truth, panel?
27:09I think it has to be bus routes.
27:10I think it's bus routes.
27:11Yeah.
27:11I want it to be Miranda.
27:13I'm going to agree.
27:17We're going with Miranda.
27:18All right.
27:18She ran for governor of New York.
27:20She did.
27:21Cynthia Nixon.
27:22Cynthia Nixon.
27:22All right.
27:22It's Miranda all day long.
27:24Here he is answering the question, who's his favorite Sex in the City character?
27:30Miranda, Miranda, Miranda, Miranda.
27:31Okay.
27:32All-time Miranda.
27:35Miranda, Miranda, Miranda.
27:36Hey, y'all.
27:38Okay.
27:39Hey, up.
27:40His favorite character is Miranda.
27:42Andrew Cuomo was asked the same question.
27:44He said, the one with the knockers.
27:48We know that Mamdani loves his pop culture, but his skill set doesn't stop there.
27:54In the early 2000s, he also had another talent.
27:57No.
27:57No.
27:57No.
27:58What surprise talent?
27:59No.
28:00No.
28:00What surprise talent?
28:02No.
28:02I can smell it fucking everywhere.
28:04And I swear to God, if you show this guy rapping, I will kill each other.
28:08Yes.
28:08Because in the previous 20 episodes of this show, we've shown a lot of clips of people
28:13rapping who shouldn't be rapping.
28:14Doesn't mean that we have another clip of somebody rapping.
28:19He was a rapper.
28:20No.
28:22His stage name was Mr. Cardamom.
28:25And yes, we have a clip.
28:28No.
28:31It's a rap.
28:33Uh-oh.
28:38I like it a little bit.
28:39He's good.
28:40It's fun.
28:41That's too much mayoral nipple for me.
28:44I don't ever want to see my mayor's nipples.
28:46Not ever.
28:47Now, speaking of that, Eric Adams made a big announcement on Friday.
28:52Does anyone know what Eric Adams' big announcement was?
28:56That he got another Eric?
28:59He calls his homie.
29:01He called Trump.
29:03He told him, Trump, I will come and work for you and get out this race so that hopefully
29:09my dummy can lose.
29:10Okay.
29:11Now, that is a lot of the rumored speculation.
29:13Friday evening, Eric Adams held a press conference to say he was staying in the New York mayoral
29:20race.
29:20Here he is making the announcement Friday evening.
29:23I committed myself and dedicated myself to a city that I love.
29:28And I'm going to continue to do that.
29:31This polo shirt that I'm wearing that says Eric Adams, mayor of the city of New York, I'm
29:36going to wear that for another four years.
29:41He should change shirts.
29:42Now, you've got to wash that shirt.
29:44You have to wash your clothes.
29:46That's not a good idea.
29:46That's a terrible idea.
29:47If I just get a polo shirt, I can be mayor?
29:50It seems like Eric Adams held a press conference to say Trump wouldn't give him a job.
29:56Now, because it's Eric Adams, he also said this.
30:01Andrew Cuomo is a snake and a liar.
30:03I am in this race and I'm the only one that can beat Vandana.
30:11Is Zoran going to win?
30:14I'll live here.
30:15Time for three facts about Janine Puro.
30:23Oh.
30:24She was named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people in 1997.
30:29Oh.
30:29She lost 1.4 million investing in a glamping company.
30:33She qualified for the 92 Olympics in race walking.
30:39Which one is the truth?
30:41Each one of these is a winner.
30:43This is great.
30:44Well, I guess just because I'm petty, I want to go for the most negative one, which is that
30:49she lost 1.4 million dollars.
30:51Because I don't want to think of anything happy ever happening for her.
30:55I'm a hater too, so I'm down for number two.
30:57I like the idea of number two, but I want to say it's number one.
31:02No, I don't want her to be pretty.
31:06Janine Puro was named one of People Magazine's 50 most beautiful people in 1997.
31:12Show us the evidence.
31:14This is, of course, at a time in the world when there was only 51 people.
31:18Here she is in 1997 in all her glory.
31:22Oh, my God.
31:23She's beautiful.
31:24I would ignore her politics.
31:27That was like Curious.
31:29More after the break.
31:40Welcome back.
31:41It's time for Missing Words.
31:47Here's your headline.
31:49Man builds blank for his cats.
31:52A sense of yearning.
31:56A castle.
31:57Oh, cats.
31:59Man builds fully functional mini subway station for cats.
32:02Oh, my God.
32:05Nothing cats love more than commuting.
32:10YouTuber Zinesworld spent four months building something called Cat Town Station, which he unveiled
32:16earlier this summer.
32:18Please take a look at this.
32:19What, what the fuck is that?
32:30Is he rich?
32:32Is that in his home?
32:33Is this a functional subway?
32:35Where are they going?
32:37Why aren't there more cats in the subway?
32:40They're not going to recoup this money.
32:42Subway Station isn't the only thing he's built for his cats.
32:45On his YouTube channel, he's also documented the construction of a cat movie theater and a cat supermarket.
32:54Aw.
32:54Does anyone know what Cat City feature he most recently unveiled?
33:00Is it a hair salon?
33:02I want it to be a hair salon.
33:03Tattoo parlor.
33:05Cattoo parlor.
33:08It's a brand new Cat McDonald's.
33:11Oh, my.
33:11Yeah, buddy.
33:14Even got an asshole cat manager there telling you we don't serve breakfast after 10.30.
33:19It's 10.33.
33:20You got a biscuit back there.
33:24Here's your headline.
33:26Connecticut man collects blank.
33:28I mean, it sounds like it wants to rhyme.
33:31Connecticut man collects confederate jam.
33:36Aw.
33:37Good job.
33:38Is it confederate jam?
33:39Is it confederate jam, Roy?
33:40Connecticut man collects more than 3,800 pairs of Crocs.
33:44Aw.
33:45Life is about having fun, living, simple as that.
33:49Dubbed the Croc King, Doogie has more than 3,500 pairs of them.
33:53Doogie Sand Tyler.
33:55Excellent.
33:56Excellent name.
33:57That's a great name.
33:57A Connecticut man known as the Croc King set a Guinness World Record for the biggest single collection
34:03with 3,569 pairs of Crocs, but according to his Instagram at the time of this taping,
34:10he's already passed that number with 3,814 pairs of Crocs.
34:16Yeah.
34:17I like that.
34:18This is how rich people should be acting.
34:20Instead of, like, influencing an entire administration?
34:23No, absolutely not.
34:24They should be like, I built a playground for snakes.
34:27That's right.
34:28They're right.
34:29All right.
34:29Here's your headline.
34:30Eric Trump gets blank in Bizarre Stunt.
34:34Eric Trump gets the love of his father?
34:37Aw.
34:38Aw.
34:39Eric Trump gets swung around by a sumo wrestler in Bizarre Stunt.
34:45While visiting Japan, Eric posted a clip to his Instagram.
34:49Please take a look at this.
34:51I'm sorry.
34:55I think there was something wrong with the audio on that.
34:56Can we...
34:57Yeah, play it again with the audio.
35:05Whee!
35:08Who can tell me why Eric Trump was in Japan in the first damn place?
35:12I don't know the answer, but I know it involves corruption.
35:16Was he, like, buying tigers or, like...
35:19No, it's corruption.
35:22Eric was in town for a shareholder meeting of the Bitcoin exchange that his dad co-founded,
35:28which began publicly trading crypto this week.
35:32Would anybody like to guess how much money the Trump family made in the first day of trading
35:40this week?
35:41Uh, the answer is $5 billion.
35:46Yes.
35:46Which is why I'm announcing Roy Bucks.
35:50Would you like money?
35:52Get on the exchange today and purchase you some Roy Bucks.
36:01Let's listen to words.
36:02More after the break.
36:03Welcome back to Have I Got News For You.
36:13It's time for Meet In The Middle, where we find common ground between two people who would
36:17never be caught hanging out.
36:19First up, on one side, we have Jill Stein, Benny Blanco, Andrew Cuomo, and Billy Bob Thornton.
36:26On the other side, there's Brad Pitt, Bernie Sanders, Sylvester Stallone, and Sofia Patrillo from The Golden Girls.
36:34We've got Mommy Cirrus.
36:37Which two of these people have psychic moms?
36:41I think it's Sylvester Stallone.
36:42I think his mother is a psychic.
36:44I don't know why this came to me.
36:45Maybe because I'm psychic.
36:47Oh!
36:47I think it's Sylvester Stallone and Billy Bob Thornton.
36:51Final answer.
36:52The answer.
36:53Billy Bob Thornton and Sylvester Stallone.
36:55Oh!
36:57They both had moms who claimed to be psychic.
37:00Billy Bob's mom predicted that he would one day win an Oscar, while Sylvester Stallone's mom, Jackie, even had her own psychic hotline.
37:09That's right.
37:10I remember that.
37:11Does anybody know what body part Jackie claims she can read to predict your future?
37:18Is it the nips?
37:20You can tell us if it's nipples.
37:23She specialized in rumpology.
37:27The art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the ass.
37:34I was a rumpologist in college.
37:38Studied a lot of crevices.
37:41Next up, it's Folk Around and Find Out.
37:45Which two of these people released folk albums?
37:48I kind of want to say Benny and Bernie, just because it sounds good together.
37:52I like your reasoning, and I would like to double down on it.
37:55The answer is Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein both released folk albums.
38:01Back in 1987, Bernie Sanders dropped this hit.
38:05I saw below me that golden valley.
38:11This land was made for you and me.
38:15Where's Mondami when you need them?
38:18And Jill Stein was part of a 90s folk rock outfit in Boston called Somebody's Sister.
38:24But when the night's at home, she's a woman who must dance.
38:35I liked it!
38:38It was so bad that it made me happy.
38:41Let's do Holden showers.
38:46Which two of these people say they do not shower every day?
38:50Well, I think Brad Pitt, I do believe, donates his pheromones to charity.
38:56So he is not allowed to shower every day.
38:59Brad Pitt and Benny Blanco have said they do not shower every day.
39:04Uh, Brad Pitt, uh, told Eli Roth that he uses baby wipes instead of showering, saying, quote,
39:11I got six kids, man.
39:12I'm getting peed on all day.
39:13I don't, I don't have time to take a shower.
39:16You see, the pee is the shower.
39:19Yes.
39:20And, uh, Benny Blanco told Interview Magazine that he doesn't shower often,
39:25but when he does, it's intense.
39:28Okay, I might not get to shower every day.
39:30Do you cry in the shower?
39:32Sometimes you just have to have a good cry.
39:33I always get death realizations when I'm in the shower.
39:38We didn't get to Andrew Cuomo and Sofia Petrillo,
39:40but they're both famously Italian, and neither will ever be mayor of New York.
39:45More after the break.
39:50Welcome back.
39:50It's time for Which is Higher?
39:52I'll give you two unrelated numbers from the news.
39:55You tell me which is higher.
39:58The price of Naomi Osaka's limited edition Le Boo Boo,
40:02or a personalized video from John McEnroe's brother Patrick on Cameo.
40:08I think it's the expensive Naomi Osaka Le Boo Boo.
40:12Okay.
40:13I think it's got to be Patrick McEnroe,
40:14because some rando on Cameo has to be more expensive than this stupid thing.
40:20Naomi Osaka's Le Boo Boo is named Billie Jean Bling.
40:26Yes, so good.
40:27That's good.
40:28And it costs $495, while the cost of a Cameo with tennis commentator Patrick McEnroe is $115.
40:37Billie Jean Bling is higher.
40:40In fact, have I got news for you?
40:42Ordered a Cameo from Patrick McEnroe ourselves.
40:44He's a huge fan of this show.
40:48Hey there, it's Patrick McEnroe coming to you live from the U.S. Open.
40:53Have I got news for you?
40:55Here to wish you all a happy fall premiere.
40:59What's that?
40:59Yeah.
41:00No, I've never heard of it.
41:01I don't know.
41:02I think it's some child's YouTube channel or something.
41:05I just made $100.
41:05That was Witch's Hire.
41:07I want to thank our guests tonight, Dave Foley and Representative Jasmine Crockett.
41:12And of course, thank you to our team captains, Amber Ruffin and Michael Ian Black.
41:19Before we sign off, here are a few more stories we're watching.
41:22J.D. Vance hugs all the people that love him.
Be the first to comment