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00:00Sonic 3 movie novel. It starts out with a paragraph of worthless narration that
00:06reminds you of what you already know. It says Sonic's at the family campsite of
00:11Tom and wants to prove he's the fastest thing there. Why does he think he needs
00:15to prove that? Like the second film confirmed, he's faking his confidence. As
00:22usual, anytime there's worthless narration or dialogue, I'll call it padding, and
00:27saying eventually means I skipped past boring padding. Sonic asks his friends to
00:34be sure they want to race him. I mention this because it proves that after all of
00:39this time, they somehow took until now to race him. Somehow, Tails is confident
00:45enough to smirk and even consider that he might win a race with Sonic. Knuckles
00:50somehow never believed him that there's no family champion title. Combine this
00:55with him strangling Sonic last movie and just talking formally. And this is why
01:00it doesn't matter if something good's written to happen to him. Eventually Tom
01:05reassures his wife that a little sibling rivalry is healthy, but that fails to
01:09reassure her, so it was a waste of time. Why is this seen in the story? Why would I
01:15ever care about the race? The only thing worth mentioning in it is that somehow
01:19Tails and Knuckles get ahead of Sonic, even though Sonic's been faster than them
01:24since their first games. This is lame of Sonic, that's the problem. Eventually
01:31there's a point where Sonic thinks he's lost, but discovers Knuckles and Tails were
01:35just talking holograms. And instead of this being because they were kidnapped, he
01:40eventually sees party streamers and a big cake on his campsite. He eventually says the
01:46race was a distraction so Tom could throw a party for him. He refuses to admit that he
01:52fell for the distraction. This is part of why he couldn't care enough to acknowledge
01:57when good things happen to Sonic as good things anymore. He and Knuckles both are
02:02just objectively bad people whose roles as the heroes confuse people into thinking
02:06otherwise. He's eventually told it's the anniversary of the day it came to Earth. I don't care.
02:12The story keeps wasting my time until Maddie gets to enjoy a hug. And then it goes back
02:19to being boring. Tails and Tom and Maddie get to eat stuff they liked here. I've read that
02:25in the film, there's a part where the dog says he's jealous of Sonic because he stole attention
02:32away from the humans. So that was surprising. There's a more blatant wasting of my time, where it's revealed
02:39that the boombox from Sonic's cave was broken by the drones and Tom had bought him a new one in the
02:45first film. And then it goes back to being boring. This is easily the most boring first scene in Sonic
02:53movie history. Tom says Sonic vowed not to let losing his first adoptive mother change him. I don't know
03:01how he stands him if he wasn't giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's only the type to do mass
03:05theft and get someone a wedgie because he lost his mother and had to be alone so long as a result.
03:12If he was always that selfish, he'd have no excuse for that. I thought even the fans were using his sad
03:18backstory to excuse his bad behavior. Anyways, he says he didn't let it change who he is inside and taps
03:25his chest. And somehow Sonic says in my lungs. Even though he watched a lot of movies growing up.
03:31You can't have him both say pop culture references and be completely ignorant to stuff like this.
03:37This story wastes my time some more. During which it makes me wonder why the same person who refused to
03:43admit he was tricked or take responsibility for causing a blackout at first, admits that it caused
03:49irreparable damage to the plumbing system by somehow eating three dozen chili dogs. It establishes that it's
03:56a joke because Tom's only reaction is what and then he drops it to continue with his sappy speech.
04:03He says that as long as he stays true to who he is inside, he'll make the right choices when it matters
04:09most. First, it's so obvious that Sonic's gonna remember this or be reminded of this. That's lame.
04:16And second, it makes Tom stupid and a line unearned that he's saying this to the guy we know stole a
04:22cave's worth of things and gave a wedgie to someone for insults. So he's selfish and hot-headed with
04:28poor impulse control. It hasn't been confirmed that he's changed or did anything to make up for that.
04:35I don't know why he would have been oblivious to the fact that running around that baseball field
04:39enough times when all electrical would have damaged it. So he damaged it on purpose too.
04:44And there's more we can remember. He can't be trusted to be immoral when he's put to the test.
04:51Tom must have deluded himself that he made him better, which means he's not comfortable with
04:55Sonic's true nature. And if anyone other than Sonic spied on Tom and Maddie as much as he did,
05:02people would all agree that he's got something wrong with him. I don't care, but it shows a lack
05:07of value for their privacy. So it was karma that in the second film, Tails told him he magically
05:13spied on him and creeped him out. And while I agree with him trying to kill Eggman, that's still
05:17harsh, showing that he doesn't have empathy for people he hates. Sure, that's all he did that was
05:22sketchy, but that story took place in the course of only a few days. And he spent almost all of the
05:28movie with just people he loved, and the rest of it with villains. Of course he didn't do much wrong.
05:35We all know this already, but since this version of Sonic somehow has people liking him regardless,
05:40I can't rant about him enough. I really needed to put in the effort to debunk Tom saying he was a
05:46good person. And wouldn't it be hilarious if the film itself proved he was wrong? After some padding,
05:54a helicopter arrives, and eventually a unit of soldiers ends up in front of them dressed in
05:59blank. The narration says the Guardian Unit of Nations is ridiculously known as Gunn. That was
06:06disrespectful to the games that I called for, so I don't know why he thought it was necessary to
06:11write that. It's making fun of something we all liked about Sonic Adventure 2. That doesn't bode well
06:17for an adaptation of it. Eventually their leader, a mean looking woman with shades and black hair
06:24called Rockwell, refers to Sonic and his friends as just aliens, capitalized. Which is just ripping
06:33off the Sonic X comic, which also adds that discrimination. And Elise ends up calling her
06:39out on being rude because they have names. She makes it worse stupidly by saying that she's aware of their
06:45names and insults them. You'd think she'd know to be polite to these super-powered aliens when going to
06:51them for help. The writer of this film really accomplished nothing by making this character
06:56a woman for a change because she's unlikable in this position anyways. So she's barely any better
07:01than Walters. Eventually she says that they need Team Sonic's help against a super-powered alien in
07:07Tokyo like Sonic. She refers to their team as Team Sonic, and locals realistically against that name
07:14from how egotistical it sounds. You'd think you would have said that in Heroes about the name Sonic Heroes
07:20because he's his rival. There's some more padding. It's responsible of the leader to prevent Tom and
07:26Maddie from putting their lives in danger going with them. It's stupid of Sonic to say that if they
07:31don't go, none of them do. He learned nothing from Tails getting injured. You see why I said Tom was wrong?
07:39He probably hasn't changed a bit. Eventually Tom convinces Sonic to let this go in an intelligent way by
07:45saying that while this is his call, they can handle it without them. It goes back to padding after this.
07:53Why couldn't the story have started with this scene? Nobody who watched this film didn't watch the first
07:58one or forgot about Sonic's backstory from it. Gunn gave no explanation in this movie for why they didn't
08:05try to arrest Maddie for freeing the people they captured. They had no reason to quit that task when Sonic
08:11didn't prove he could escape on his own. I shouldn't have to just assume it's because they think with
08:17the addition of Knuckles capturing them all is impossible and trying to harass Tom and Maddie would
08:22just provoke them. Shadow's in Tokyo for no reason. Eventually Shadow runs in a semicircle in front of
08:30the police line and says he wasn't moving as fast as normal because he doesn't have his roller skates.
08:35If it said rocket shoes as in his normal shoes, it would have made some sense. You mean he usually
08:43wore roller skates before? At least that's new but why would that make him faster when it's the act of
08:49his legs moving that makes him so fast because of the magic he has? He splashes dirty gutter water over
08:55the police who were just doing their jobs when he could have kept running to leave them behind.
09:01So already he's needlessly mean in a surprisingly minor looking way like Sonic Boom's Eggman.
09:09SA2 never even stated he went out of his way to be a dick to innocent people. SA2 didn't get the
09:15chance to put him in the kind of situation where he'd prove he would do that. So maybe this is in
09:20character. But not showing him as a bully was better for creating a sympathetic future hero and this
09:27misses what made him popular in favor of making him look like a one-dimensional jerk like most
09:32Sonic films are. And I know it was written because he's angsty, but so what? We're gonna find out he has
09:39a sad backstory he's sad about anyways. There's no reason to lay it on thicker in an unsympathetic way.
09:46If the goal of the story was to make you feel sorry for him, why show this first? Why not tell you his
09:53backstory right away? There's some padding after this. The only thing interesting in this paragraph
10:01is that he needed Maria to show him that a world existed outside the lab. This just makes his backstory
10:07crueler for no reason. It doesn't add anything because it was already tragic enough to make him moody.
10:13I'll even include as padding the narration stating that Maria showed him fun and music existed,
10:18since I could have assumed that with the game Shadow's backstory. The game took a little longer
10:24to show you his past. After padding, Shadow feels a thrilling shock of unpredictable energy crackle
10:31through him. Why would it be unpredictable if he's in control of his powers? What is it with the movies
10:37and giving them Surge's electricity power for no reason, except to say they weren't cool enough?
10:43It's especially redundant with Shadow. After padding, that of course explains that the glass of his
10:50cryofreeze cage had shattered, but refuses to explain how. It wastes my time until Shadow
10:57somehow expects these people to bring their leader to him, when he makes it clear he's going to get
11:02violent. The very first time Eggman saw Shadow, it pretty clearly establishes that he's smart.
11:08He looked pretty smart when Eggman first met Shadow in the game. I wonder why the captain of the people
11:15aiming guns at Shadow didn't just say shoot instead of wasting precious time saying soldiers on my mark.
11:22Really, the story would have ended there if he had been a real person. It didn't need to be written
11:27that they were even in front of Shadow. As far as we know, Shadow in SE2 wasn't incompetent enough to
11:33have been faced with firearms in front of him on Earth. There's more wasting time. Instead of Shadow
11:40running away, as he could easily do, he starts fighting the soldiers. Starting by pulling a rider
11:47off a cycle and throwing him into his soldier, and then he starts clubbing someone with a baton.
11:53Sure, he's never done this before, but they're probably good people who are just doing their jobs.
11:58Already I don't care about him and think too bleak stopped caring. So I don't know why anyone could
12:04stand Shadow in this movie. Let alone gush about him. He doesn't say good things about their character
12:11to like a character who is written to be a bully when the original wasn't and take until the end to
12:17change. They just don't really care that he's being a bully. Do they really care about his victims?
12:23It makes me wonder why someone would hate a bully character like Francis from Fairly OddParents,
12:28but not this guy. Francis has a cool outfit. Shadow looks cool. Are people so superficial that
12:36Shadow only has to sort of look like Shadow to like him? He's got two separate eyes, so that's a
12:42really low bar. Not hating or liking both this and that evil king Shadow is hypocritical if you claimed
12:49it was ever about Shadow. Eventually Shadow raises an arm to the sky and gathers all of the energy he
12:56could in his chest and sets Chaos Control and frees his time without an admiral for the first time in
13:01the series. It makes sense to write a being called the Ultimate Lifeform to be able to do that. And he
13:08moved from in front of the assault vehicle into the heart of its engine and then back again without
13:12getting hurt to make it explode. Why would I need to say Chaos Control to achieve this when he's got
13:19super speed already? And the ability to handle super speed is why Sonic can do stuff while perceiving
13:25stuff around him in slow motion. Eventually it ends up establishing that Team Sonic's in a jet on
13:31the way to Tokyo with Rockwell. And it does a lot of wasting my time in that scene. I at least like that
13:39Rockwell complains that this is the lowest moment in her career because she's an awful character so
13:44far so she's suffering. But it's annoying that the only reason she says this is that she's around
13:49aliens. Sonic says with his feet up and hands behind his head in the stereotypical conky way that she
13:56should be honored to be with him. This isn't Sonic. He wants to say this out loud. Tails thinks Sonic was
14:03just making a joke that she should be honored to escort him. Which would only make sense with how long he
14:08knew him if this is because he figured out he's not as confident as he is. And so he was just being
14:13sarcastic. But the point is Sonic has no reason to think people would know he's joking. And he's not
14:21the type to be like this with an ally. Is it any wonder I won't forgive him for what he did before this?
14:26He's still completely inconsiderate. The appeal of Sonic is that he is cocky. People didn't come to the
14:34character to see someone only pretending. And so what's reassuring you that he's competent about
14:39his unlikable act when even he doesn't believe it? It gets boring again until it impresses me by
14:46praising Tails again. Tails had reverse engineered the spy device Gunn left at Tom's house to figure out
14:53their communication systems. He had kept all of the metal they left behind after the fight with the
14:58Eggman. And at this point he had plugged his Miles electric device into their helicopter to download
15:04all the secrets from their servers. So he appreciated Sonic teasing her and was stating the obvious.
15:10Because at least he was keeping her distracted. And there's no hint he cares about her and sees the
15:16immorality in his teasing of her. Sonic's a bad influence. When he first showed up in the movies he felt
15:23bad about stealing a car even though it benefited him and saved Sonic. How did it go from pitting
15:29someone who had been strangling your hero to not caring about someone getting teased? Being with
15:34Sonic looks like a tandem that pities just a weakness. Rockwell gets teased that she doesn't like
15:40them and at least tells them not to take it personally because it's just that they're aliens.
15:46She says that she specifically doesn't trust Sonic. Sadly all she gets to say is he still refuses to
15:52reveal the location of the Master Emerald. I did a better job proving her right.
15:58The race showing her is for nothing because she talks like she never even heard it.
16:03She says Sonic's reckless and dangerous. That's cathartic. He calls a blackout for the Pacific
16:10Northwest. To be fair maybe he'd never do that again. So what you're saying here is mostly stupid.
16:17How is someone who already proved himself to be great at fighting Eggman the first movie unqualified
16:23to be here in the field? Sonic says she just met him but then says that normally it takes someone
16:30hours to realize he's not qualified to be here. I'm impressed the writer wasn't on his side. I guess
16:36he's talking in a different perspective to mean he's unprofessional which is the only way anyone could
16:41realize he's not qualified to be here. Because in sheer competence he is supposed to be qualified.
16:47Knuckle says that gun agents aren't ever qualified for battle. It says that months ago he kept a few
16:54rogue mappers of gun from stealing the Master Emerald. He sadly doesn't get to explain why he
16:59thinks they're weak at fighting. We're supposed to just assume the obvious. That they can't fight and
17:05only rely on their guns. And this is how the ancient Greeks thought. So it makes sense that he would
17:11think like that. But clearly she needs this explained to her. After a bunch of padding. We're at least
17:18impressed by tales making cubes that can unfold into indestructible handcuffs. But I know it won't get
17:24used against shadows so who cares. Knuckles jumps out of the helicopter and says Team Knuckles like Boom
17:31Knuckles would. He's still a cringy character so far. There's more padding after this. Like
17:37Tails prioritizing wasting his breath telling Rockwell that Sonic's gonna save the day because
17:42that's what heroes do. Just like IDW Tails did. And sanctimoniously saying that Gunn should consider
17:49that. He should know he's wasting his breath. And that his stupid speech is based on the assumption
17:56that heroes always succeed. It's like circular logic. He cares more about the speech than making
18:03sure he's right behind Sonic to help him. But that makes sense to put off because what help?
18:09The last two times trying to fight he was useless. Why is he going with them? He can't hack into an
18:16Eggmobile this time and I don't even remember what he did in the fight with the giant Mecha.
18:20At least it explains that he flies faster than the vehicle could ever go. After padding, a massive
18:27military vehicle rolls directly at Sonic and Tails. So Knuckles saves them. But then brags in a cringy
18:34way about it. Because he was outright arrogant in his first game by laughing at Sonic. Even then,
18:41just because he laughs at Sonic because he's just about to release a trap on him doesn't necessarily mean
18:46he would brag about himself. You can think someone else is funny because they're failing and not be
18:52arrogant. Somehow, Sonic can tell just from Shadow's eyes that he's got a real pain that's like he lost
19:00a piece of his own heart. He's not psychic. If he was, he would have gone to live with Tom way earlier.
19:08This is worse than Batman thinking Shadow lost Maria just from I don't have time for this because he
19:13hasn't said anything. As it's just on the nose. As a wise man once said, the more you keep explaining
19:21the same things, the less emotional punch they pack. It applies to colors and this film. As they
19:28too was subtle. Sweethead Shadow's loss via a tearjerker because it was only explained in two
19:34flashbacks where Maria said goodbye. The most powerful way you can do it. And he only reacted with emotion
19:41about it the second time with one tear because of how much he messed up. The writers want to hammer
19:48in the point that Maria's loss affected him strongly. As if we were too stupid to be able to just assume
19:54that from the fact that he was trying to destroy the world for her. They're completely missing the
20:00point of the plot. This film knows that if they made him be emotional about it in a sympathetic way,
20:06by being sad, he'd fail to be cool. So they have him show his emotions by making him do cool stuff.
20:15But that isn't latching out physically at innocent people like a bratty little kid throwing a temper
20:21tantrum. Maybe there should be a different character doing this. I'm all for good changes. But so far I'm
20:29seeing nothing but bad ones. The narration justifies that he had already been lucky enough to get a
20:35family in a world that was afraid of him and got Knuckles on his side. So he's justifying him being
20:41idealistic enough to think he could get through to Shadow. He's like IDW Sonic done right here.
20:49Cause in the games, Sonic didn't get Knuckles on his side. Eggman betrayed him. And he wastes my time
20:56talking boring friendly platitudes. Which shows me what it'd be like if Sonic met Shadow without
21:02being blinded by rage over him framing him. And instead got to act like Sonic. Shadow asks where
21:09Walters is. And is somehow dumb enough to not say in that very sentence that he's the gun commander?
21:17It's been 50 years. For all he knows, Walters either dead or moved on to another job. He's got no
21:25reason to think the people a gun are liars either. So he's stupid. Which is a trait that's in common with
21:31IDW Shadow. Along with being a petty, ego-obsessed jerk. Yeah, I really hope nobody likes him in this movie.
21:41All he needed to do was pay attention to the story to immediately get apathetic and bored of him.
21:47And this was based on the most interesting villain in Sonic history. Shadow in the game was intriguing
21:52because not only did he have a lost loved one, but he always kept his dignity despite being on a quest for
21:59revenge. He proved a character can be an unemotional stoic and have a goal like that. He looked like a
22:07typical evil Sonic, but he was so much more than that. Making him have the typical roaring rampage
22:13of revenge is for hacks because it's expected. It's like, why did the chicken cross the road?
22:19The punchline to that. After some padding, Sonic says that maybe he can take a message. Shadow
22:27arbitrarily doesn't even try to give him the message and doesn't explain the reason for why. That he
22:34knows he has no way to immediately contact Walters. There's no reason he would have his phone number.
22:39But if he's assuming he works for Gunn because he's an alien like him, and so him being an alien is
22:46why Gunn researched him, then he has definitely no reason to assume he wouldn't be able to contact
22:51Walters. Instead, he tells him to walk away, which he's not allowed to do because that's not his mission.
22:59Because he threatens them. After some padding narration, Knuckles ruins the situation by threatening
23:05him and somehow ignoring Sonic when he tells him to hold on. Despite being a loyal warrior type who
23:11would be loyal especially by now. What a great addition to the plot. This is so much better than
23:17the game. So Knuckles tries to start a punch and Shadow avoids it. He would be faster than him,
23:24and so it makes sense that he can throw him through a window in the store. Which would have to have the
23:29owner paid for the damages? Why would anyone care about Shadow's loss at this point? And then after
23:36the heroes of course rush to his side, the story remembers that he's sort of invincible because
23:41his ego is bruised more than anything. At least the narration says so, but he speaks in pauses,
23:47so I don't know. Last movie got hit by a car and was uninjured, so he's clearly got super fast healing.
23:54Then they just chat amongst themselves worthlessly as they watch Shadow stalk angrily through the
24:00debris towards them, instead of instantly running towards them. Shadow logically would have the same
24:06power to be able to move so fast things go in slow motion around him. So that cancels it out for Sonic,
24:13since he's the regressive one so he's moving first. Eventually he grabs Sonic by the neck and ends up
24:19throwing him into the pavement, and eventually he just tells him to leave him alone again. At least
24:25he's just leaving at that. So what? At this point it makes no sense that he'd be nice to him like that
24:31when he just threw him on the pavement. It also makes no sense that he'd ride away on a motorcycle he's
24:37faster than. Tails lampshades that Sonic chasing him is a bad idea, but Sonic makes himself look stupid
24:44instead of simply saying that if he didn't he'd fail his mission and get in trouble with a group that
24:49already hates him. If that group already decided to leave him alone, I have to assume his own pride
24:55is the only reason he doesn't want to fail the mission. If he's also worried Shadow would hurt more
25:00people, Tails should have known that and if he really had the compassion for the average person he used
25:05to have, he wouldn't have tried to convince them to not go after him. Sonic could still have a chance of
25:11attacking Shadow if he attacked him from behind without him knowing he was going after him. The
25:16last time he got hurt he ran over to him so he had telegraphed his attack, so he hadn't proved to
25:21Tails that he couldn't fight him. Sadly, Sonic somehow gives away the element of surprise. He tells him
25:29they didn't exchange email addresses, not even taking him seriously, so of course the nutcase gets
25:34frustrating enough to try to shoot him. Apparently as a gun, because it's been long enough since Shadow
25:41the Hedgehog that they have the guts to do this. And because it happened in something other than a game,
25:47people didn't get livid over it, because you're not allowed to insult the movies. Eventually he finds
25:53out Shadow teleported away from an attack. At least it's not explained yet that the writers know he can
25:59teleport other people. And maybe Shadow's too dumb to know that yet. And Shadow also has to be too
26:05dumb to know that he can Chaos Spear. Right away it wasn't on my mind because it wasn't being shown
26:12on the screen. But yeah, people say Chaos Spear as a reason for why Shadow shouldn't use a gun. So I
26:18sure hope they're consistent and apply it to this movie too, or else they'll just be admitting that
26:23they were only making an excuse to insult the game. And never actually cared that much. Sonic's
26:30annoying being chatty again while pretending he doesn't take him seriously as a threat. Introducing
26:35himself and saying that he likes puppies and the music of Billy Joel. At least that's something Sonic
26:41never said he liked before. Shadow Lampshade said his mouth runs fast, although he shouldn't lie
26:46that he literally doesn't run fast. He speeds the cycle up the side of a skyscraper. The narration
26:54admits that it was a cool move. I have to assume he's got the magical ability to make the bike able
26:59to do that instead of simply running to the skyscraper and injuring him. Movie over. The story
27:05remembers Sonic can still run up buildings, so waste time after that with a predictable. At least it
27:10admits they're evenly matched, when I was worried it'd be nothing but Shadow smacking him around like a
27:15rag doll. Oh great, Sonic caused a blackout in a city again. Gunn was right, he is still dangerous.
27:25At least it was accidental because he had to fight him. But why would they run in a circle? That's the
27:31only reason that it would cause a blackout. He's chasing him, so he'd be in a straight line, wouldn't he?
27:38There's more padding and Shadow Lampshade says Sonic's stupid, and Sonic proves him right by accusing his
27:44growlily voice of being fake. Giving up any positive opinion he may have had of him that Shadow is too
27:50mad at Gunn to show. He insults most of Shadow's voices in the series with this, and says the little
27:56grim and gritty thing is a decade out of style. He directly insults Shadow's fans. Shadow didn't
28:03originally have the grim and gritty voice in the first place. If they really wanted to represent SE2,
28:10they would have imitated David Humphrey's voice. The gritty voice is associated with the moment
28:16Shadow went bad, and Sonic 06 where he was a good character. Surprisingly, it just ends with Sonic
28:22being handcuffed by Shadow, and then Shadow warps away without him. Again, it's surprisingly merciful.
28:29We had the impression Shadow in SE2 would have gone on to kill Sonic in Green Forest if he hadn't gotten
28:34interrupted by Eggman warning him to leave the island before it explode, because there's no reason to
28:39assume he would have confusingly left him alive, and repeatedly made excuses to not kill him. Like
28:46he does have a better nature. But he wants to destroy the world, which would destroy Sonic too. So no,
28:53it makes no sense for him to pretend he values his life. If he did, then he'd have a plan to make sure
28:58he's not on the world when it's destroyed. So far, this movie sucked. I guess all of its appeal is in
29:06the visual aspect. The cinematography. Maybe watching the fight was fun. From what I'm reading,
29:14all that happened was that Sonic chased Shadow. And like, Shadow grabbed him by the neck, which is the
29:20same thing Knuckles did in the last movie anyways. Where's the originality? It didn't seem like there's
29:26any effort in coming up with the fight. And it's not really a fight if it's mostly just
29:31Sonic chasing Shadow like an IDW. I doubt that alone made it a good story, but it was a better
29:37scene than I expected. Because it wasn't a scene that made no sense for Shadow to prevail in,
29:43as I already proved. It might as well have just been Sonic versus Shadow. So it added nothing that
29:49Knuckles and Tails were in the fight against Shadow this time. He wasn't really outnumbered.
29:53There's more boredom after this. At least the fact that it's a book means there gets to be narration
30:00insulting out undignified Knuckles' fields being in the so-called Chow Garden, which is a Chuck E.
30:06Cheese place, because it's realistic that a proud warrior who remembers being raised by
30:10warmongers would hate Chow. This place is a new idea, but new is all that's here to compliment,
30:17and it's cancelled out by being a hollow reference when people would have preferred seeing Chow. So the
30:22people who really wish they were seeing Chow because they really love SE2, which would be the
30:27people who spent so much time in the Chow Gardens, would say this kind of reference is only taunting
30:33them with a half-assed reference instead of using the idea it's shaped like. Not like you could use Chow here in an
30:40interesting way anyways. The point is that you could have the service of this restaurant be dressed up in
30:46costumes that don't look like Chow, and have the same plot and dialogue. I remember seeing the trailer
30:52about this and hating it. It felt too Japanese, and while it makes sense in-universe since it's Tokyo,
31:00the series mascot is full of nothing but American inspiration for it. His shoes are red and white because
31:06of Santa. His attitude is based off the Bill Clinton get it done attitude. And the series' main market has
31:13never been Japan, which is a place where Sonic never does well, which makes it stupid to betray its
31:19identity by alienating the majority of its customers to either not Japanese or weeaboos. But at least the
31:26narration acknowledges that Knuckles loves grapes. That doesn't make up for an entirely blatantly pointless
31:33scene in here. And how is it not a hollow reference to merely acknowledge something in the narration
31:39instead of having Knuckles eat it? Tails somehow already knows that this is one of the top 10
31:45must-see spots in a city he's got no reason to be interested in. He somehow already knows that the
31:52Chow costumes represent childlike spirits, and thus it's a good place for them to blend in. But since when
31:59would cosplayers of anthropomorphic characters go into Chuck E. Cheese-like places in fursuits?
32:05What makes him think just because there's servers in full-body costumes like it's Disneyland that
32:10this place would be frequented by furries? Those costumes don't look like animal people,
32:15and don't look like characters from a franchise other than the one belonging to this restaurant.
32:20For genius, he's confidently making this decision purely on gut instinct because of that assumption,
32:27when seconds of thought would have him realize that their mouth movements and blinking would
32:31instantly give away that they aren't wearing costumes anyway. There's some more padding after
32:36that, during which it recaps some stories I haven't read related to the movie's sub-series.
32:43A tourist says they're cute and takes a selfie with them. Well, it's good that the tourists enjoyed it,
32:49even if Knuckles didn't. Why don't you think Knuckles was cute? The bells of the cafe door ring,
32:57and Walters is long-windedly described as going over to them. He mentions Sonic, and this is the first
33:04time the scenes revealed that Sonic was with them, because he was unusually silent. It makes sense that he'd be
33:11in so bad a mood that he wouldn't feel like talking. It bores me for a while as they just go over what
33:17they already know and bore me. People complained about Unleashed being very exposition heavy.
33:24How is this any better? Sonic says Shadow the Hedgehog's name is infringing on his copyright.
33:31Not taking him seriously enough for a character like this. Maybe it was better to have Sonic just be
33:36totally serious about Shadow in SC2 if it meant avoiding annoying dialogue because he was acting
33:42normal. Instead, we got to see how cool Shadow really was because Sonic was taking him seriously.
33:50After padding, the story continues not giving Shadow the proper gravity, because when Sonic
33:56hopes he's not a military project, Walters says he was a military project, repeating exactly what
34:03Sonic had said instead of simply saying he was more naturally. And Sonic asks why they don't ever
34:10learn. Why? As far as he's aware, this is the only project they ever worked on. Eventually, Walters says
34:17that while Sonic found friends and family here, Shadow only found pain and loss, which ignores that he did
34:24find a friend in Maria. Surprisingly, it explains that no one knows where Shadow came from,
34:30just that he left a meteorite that had been hollowed out to become a spaceship. It's creative effort that
34:37they didn't have to expend. This way, he wouldn't be left wondering why he's black and red, which required
34:43Black Doom as his father to explain. In a world that never knew any intelligent being but human, it'd make
34:49no sense for them to create a hedgehog like Shadow. Jail's not as confident this way, but he's already
34:56competent enough being able to orchestrate a plan to try to cause the apocalypse. He didn't need to
35:02be able to make all sorts of unrealistic things 50 years ago, like artificial chaos and vile lizard.
35:09It's pretty stupid to establish that Gunn really did exist 50 years ago, by the way, because in the
35:14previous film, it said that Gunn only formed in response to Sonic's actions in the last movie.
35:20According to this retcon, it always existed. So apparently, Gunn dismantled itself, and then
35:28it undismantled itself. And it doesn't explain why it dismantled itself, so I guess it's because Maria
35:34died. But there were always guards in front of Shadow. So who was paying them if Gunn wasn't around?
35:41Just some rich billionaire? I guess so. Establishing Shadow's full alien is more believable on a planet
35:49that's meant to remind you of the real world. And because it's live action, you can't suspend your
35:54disbelief as well. Sonic X didn't have writers think things through enough to realize this. So the only
36:00way you could make sense of it was to assume Jail made an interdimensional portal for fun and saw
36:05on hedgehogs first. He'd also have to borrow an emerald from there to make someone able to use chaos
36:11powers. And such a portal would also be the only excuse for why Eggman didn't grow up on Earth. The
36:17problem is that X-Earth was supposed to be the real world, when it came to the civilizations anyways.
36:23So the idea that Jail Robotnik made a way to go to other worlds 50 years ago feels far-fetched. It'd be
36:31even goofier in a world that literally looks like the real world. It's better to avoid making its
36:36plot holes altogether. That's the only interesting part of this conversation. After that it's a bunch
36:42of boring pointless exposition anyone could have predicted. I hope that Walter said chaos energy
36:48in the film too. It'd be something every Sonic fan would appreciate, as a Sonic exclusive term.
36:56There's more boredom, and it's weird that when Sonic jumps to the conclusion that Shadow isn't even
37:00really running fast, and just jumps from one moment in time to another, Sonic isn't corrected.
37:08What's the point of implying that Shadow of all people can't actually move super fast? Some ultimate
37:14life form. In practice, it's got the same result for Shadow himself, so it's a minor downgrade.
37:21With the lameness that Sonic thinks this is an excuse to think he's better than him for being faster for
37:26real. But part of the thing that's interesting about Shadow is that him being artificial doesn't
37:31make him inferior to Sonic. Eventually it says that a massive explosion destroyed the lab, causing the
37:38loss of human lives. What's the point of the narration saying it ripped a hole through the lab if the
37:44dialogue is going to say it was destroyed by an accident right after? I sure hope it explains why an
37:50accident could possibly ever happen. Because by leaving an event, he makes it harder to believe
37:56than Shadow's trauma in the game, which is less convoluted. As the film explains, the reason Maria dies is
38:04because Walters tries to stop someone from shooting her, but in the commotion, the person shoots a chaos
38:12energy thing that blows up and destroys her. And the fact that Walters was a commander at the time, and the
38:18soldiers still tried to kill Maria, causes her death to be extremely forced. You'd think a scientific
38:26genius would have not made reckless experiments because he knows science well enough. Which is why
38:32it's a good thing that it's explained that it wasn't Gerald's fault. Gerald was imprisoned because his
38:37experiments led to the tragedy. The only way this could be true is that, well, the chaos energy thing that
38:45blew up because it was shot was an experiment of his, so yeah, technically. Because without that
38:51thing, maybe Maria could have run away. While Shadow distracted the soldier, instead of just standing
38:57there doing nothing. Even if it was as simple as Gerald had a failed experiment. He didn't mean to make
39:04that happen. So why would he be in prison for 50 old years? Walters doesn't say that, but I assume so.
39:12He also doesn't explain properly why Shadow was placed in cryo-freeze just because it was arbitrarily
39:18deemed too dangerous to go free. Why would they even consider letting him go free when Walters was
39:24just saying that Shadow's power would usher in a new era for mankind, making breakthroughs in clean
39:30energy and medicine? Why won't the experiments be continued but under a new scientist? I've been told
39:37that in the film it showed Shadow was not looking and acting extremely angry when he was put in cryo
39:43sleep. Instead he was weirdly calm and cooperative. Which only makes this extremely forced. Ham being
39:50put under would make sense if he was just throwing a temper tantrum ever since he lost Maria. Which would
39:55make sense because it would be in line with his character since the start of the film. They thought
40:00that was good to write so there's no reason they should draw the line at him being violent right
40:04after losing Maria. Instead they had literally no reason to think he was someone they had to put
40:10into cryo sleep. Instead of just sending him to grief counseling or just killing him when his backs
40:15turned. If they really thought he was always going to be dangerous and that there was no way for them
40:20to exploit him, they would have just done that. Because after the explosion they magically didn't care
40:26about solving the energy crisis or curing every disease. I guess that's what he meant when he
40:31said medicine because otherwise saying that was nonsensical. Walters didn't even mention Maria for
40:36some reason. Just a fake multiple loss of life. You'd think that the entire point of his exposition
40:42to them would be to explain that Shadow made a best friend and then lost her so that they'd understand
40:48him. If he wasn't going to be that honest with them, why'd it even bother? All of this was useless
40:54information to them and somehow they didn't point it out. You'd think you'd also say Maria had a
41:00terminal illness, which is the only reason she'd be there and not in a house or school or the beach.
41:07So since it's necessary for the story to make sense, it is bad to not outright explain it.
41:14After more padding, including Walters saying stuff I already knew, they all took until now somehow to
41:20figure out that the servers in Chao costumes were listening in. It's weird that the narration
41:26describes these humans as stuffed mascot creatures called Chao and creatures. It's like even the writer
41:32wanted them to actually be Chao, so he forgot they weren't. What did he think was going to happen when
41:38he had a discussion about top secret military organization information in a public place?
41:45This is so unorthodox. This is laughably kiddy. There's more padding after that. Walters would
41:52have been able to explain who he thinks Shadow is working with in time if he hadn't wasted his time
41:57saying, and I think I know who. There's a lot of things he didn't have to say. Instead, eventually the
42:03window gets flooded with laser lights, which conveniently exists to warn Sonic to save everyone
42:09as the window gets destroyed. Why would laser lights be used if they only warn their targets?
42:16And the people using them don't actually need them to shoot accurately? I'm pretty sure this isn't
42:23realistic and there's nothing good about it to justify it. It's just there is lazy writing, because if
42:29there weren't visible laser lights, the writer would have no way of the character surviving the
42:34sneak attack without just changing the script. The next chapter bores me with pointless narration that
42:39Sonic had learned a lot from Earth, when it's right after the heroes almost got killed. We want to stick
42:45with that. Instead it says that Sonic puts onions on his chili dog sometimes because he was taught that
42:51it was good for him. It expects me to believe Sonic learned the value of patience. It says sometimes it's
42:57appropriate to wait seconds before opening a present, but provides no argument about why
43:03that stupid rule would even exist, so he wouldn't follow it. Especially not this selfish Sonic.
43:10Eventually it says he learned the value of appreciating beauty, and ends up saying that he
43:14counts beauty as the way the cafe light glitters off the dozen missiles that went through the window.
43:21It explains the way he's in such danger his whole body engages in hyperspeed to slow the world down
43:26from his perspective. It doesn't explain why he didn't do that near Shadow. Or more likely that
43:33he did, but Shadow did it too, so that didn't matter. Thankfully the writer Lampshade says that's not the
43:38right time to appreciate the way the light hits the missiles. Yeah, Sonic's pretty crazy in this film.
43:45No other Sonic would have such skewed priorities, even for a second. This is clearly because of his sad
43:51backstory.
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