- 3 months ago
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00:00She's had this bookmarked on her laptop from ages ago. Ages ago. It's the one, I reckon. What do you think?
00:21I think a shotgun wedding is the kind of thing your dad would do.
00:23It's not a shotgun wedding, it's a surprise wedding. We're engaged, Mum. Lauren wants excitement.
00:29A bit of spontaneity. Yeah, what could be more? Spontaneous? Exactly. Dad and Gran are on board.
00:36I've got Kim and Denise there on standby for hair and makeup. Yeah, actually, all I need now is
00:41decorations, if you don't mind, and for you to put any negativity aside and, you know,
00:45just help me out with the boys today, please. Oscar! And everybody knows Bar Penny, so please
00:50just keep it that way, because if anyone's going to ruin today, it'll be, uh... Yeah, just keep it.
00:54That snide Arsenal kit that you got Louis. Well, the badge is now falling off, and he's kicking off, so you're
01:00going to need to go and talk to him, because you're the one that got him into football. Go on.
01:04Come on.
01:06Oh, yeah, cheers.
01:09There's something that's written here. I have a, uh... Well, we have a little surprise for you.
01:16Mmm. Are your mum moving out? Mmm, no, not today. I've, uh... I booked you a spa all day, right? Mum's going to take care of the boys,
01:26she's going to do the drop-offs and the pick-ups, look after Louis and Jimmy, and I'm going to take you for a drink afterwards,
01:31because you deserve it.
01:33Peter, I've got better. It's a lovely idea, but can we rain-check it, yeah?
01:40I'm sorry. All right. Right. Come on, I'll see you later. See you. Love ya. Yeah, I love you too.
01:48I think a rain-check is a very good idea.
01:52No. No. No. Where do you get married today? It is going to be clear skies from now on.
02:00Desperate times call for desperate measures. Lily! Yeah?
02:06Voila. Your first Brazilian brekkie. It's just a little taster, in case you change your mind.
02:13Yeah, I think I'd rather cornflakes, but that's not why I'm staying around.
02:15Oh, Lily, please. Look, I get it, all right? It's going to be hard for Ricky, but this is an opportunity for you and Charlie.
02:23You're a different culture, different language, beaches, a new life.
02:28My life is here now, Mum. But you are my life. You and Charlie, Hope and Arthur, I need you all with me.
02:34I know that Kat is getting everyone to the Albert later to say goodbye, and I know we'll miss everyone.
02:40But I'm ready to say goodbye to them. I ain't ready to say goodbye to you too.
02:46Just come with me. Please, just come with me. It's not forever.
02:53I want you to be happy, Mum. And if that's Brazil, then you need to go. But me and Charlie are staying.
03:03Hey! You gonna open up early? I bet you're buzzing about that black cab we've got coming in, eh?
03:24Well, listen, I'm gonna pop to the cafe on my way in. Grab us a cuppa, a little pastry or two, set us up for the day.
03:32Jessica, I'm in the garage. I'm gonna have lunch.
03:38Big coach! What are you saying? How's the backpack?
03:42It's got six pockets. Thank you. Nice. Nice. Good shout on this. I'm a new man, eh?
03:50Look what he looks after me. Hey, he's a good friend.
03:54Mm-hmm.
04:00Can we get ready for work?
04:02Harry, you know, er, Kojo's last trip in Luton? Where we took that risk?
04:08Well, we stepped on a few South London toes, and they did a number on one of our dealers.
04:13Okay. What do you want me to do about it?
04:15Your day job, bruv. What do you think he was gonna do?
04:18Well, I'm gonna go and make some calls, and Okie's gonna stay here.
04:21Just in case they know about this place.
04:23Wait, you think they know about here?
04:24No, no, no. It's just precaution.
04:26Go to work. Everything is normal. But keep an eye out, and let Okie know if you see anything suspicious.
04:31Well, he's gonna be here on his own.
04:33Yeah. You need to pack when you've got a big dog on sight.
04:38Alright.
04:39Ah, alright? See these? If I was flying, I'd have to pay extra for these bags.
04:56Hey, your stingy boyfriend's just offered me a free day at a spa for some reason, but apparently you're too busy not selling cars to take the day off.
05:05No, Penny, I can't.
05:06Oh, yes, you can.
05:07Okie, so lock up these curtain shots, and pack a towel. Penny needs pampering.
05:16Shoot, if you wanna make sure he's dead, then you've gotta be there, innit?
05:18I mean, he was our dad. I know he didn't always show it, but he loved us.
05:23No, no, no, I know he did.
05:27Alright. I mean, just think about it. For me.
05:29Hey.
05:36You okay?
05:37No, you alright?
05:39It's too much. Just doing all this on my own.
05:42I can count to one-hand the amount of people that are gonna come.
05:45Stu's a no, Jay's at his granddad's.
05:47Carl, just let me help.
05:49No, no, you shouldn't have to.
05:51He's got family.
05:53Whatever he was, I know that he cared deep down there, didn't I?
05:55I just... I just wanna give him a good send-off, you know?
06:00Yeah.
06:02Yeah, no, I get it.
06:03You only make up?
06:04Yeah.
06:13Got all your make-up bits and bobs in here, got a towel, deodorant.
06:17I'm sure they're gonna have everything you need at the spa, but still.
06:20You calling Penny for backup?
06:22Anyone would think you're trying to get rid of me today.
06:24Really?
06:25You haven't got that Demi coming around for a private show, have you?
06:28I can't afford two spa passes and a private desk.
06:31You just deserve it, that's all.
06:33Oh, he's not coming to, is he?
06:34I thought my bikini wax was the only pain I was gonna have to suffer today.
06:38No, no, no, no.
06:39I've just come over to talk to Peter about...
06:41...work stuff.
06:44Right, okay, well, enjoy work stuff.
06:47Bye. Thank you.
06:48Bye, I love you.
06:50Yeah, your grand's driving me nuts talking about vegetarian options.
06:52All right, well, the bride's celeste, Dad.
06:54Yeah, and have you heard?
06:55Oscar's planning on reusing all the stuff from Patrick's wedding, okay?
06:58Between him and Alfie...
06:59Right, you're gonna have steel drums playing these up Mother Brown as your wedding march.
07:02Now, Peter, I'm your best man.
07:04I should be overseeing all of this.
07:06Dad, you should be focusing on keeping Mum in check and the efficient getting there on time.
07:09That's all you've got to worry about.
07:11Let's make this the last crisis to deal with today, okay?
07:14Okay?
07:15So, let's go to the next one.
07:16Never mind which one.
07:17I'm going to have to worry about the future.
07:18I'm dying.
07:19I'm dying.
07:20I'm dying.
07:21I'm dying.
07:22I'm dying.
07:23I'm dying.
07:25I'm dying.
07:26I'm dying.
07:27I'm dying.
07:28I'm dying.
07:29I'm dying.
07:31I'm dying.
07:32They had to come
07:36Let's do it. Take a look at these diamonds wrong as I live for squinting conscious with bacon
08:02You've got Irish skin? Runs in the family
08:18You used to burn under a 40-watt bowl. Have you thought of that?
08:23Well, in fact, 50 in Mexico, I think I'll manage
08:27If Lily's staying, how can you still go?
08:31She needs you. Charlie needs you. Hope and Arthur need their family
08:38You promised you would never leave her again
08:41Don't make the same mistake
08:44Mum, making mistakes is what I do
08:46All my life, nine times out of ten, I've made the wrong call
08:50I can't get this one wrong
08:52I left it too late with Martin, for me, for the kids
08:56Lily needs the best version of me
08:58I can't be that walking past his stall every day
09:01So, staying home with the people you love, who love you
09:06How? How can that be a mistake?
09:13I need to go home
09:28What? Why?
09:29I need my taxi
09:30I want to send a picture of you on the bonnet
09:33For Cabina
09:34Coach
09:35Keys
09:36I left my keys
09:37Coach, Phil needs this done, mate
09:38We need to get it up and running
09:39I won't be long
09:40I need your keys
09:41You can't go home
09:42I need to go home
09:43You can't go home, Coach
09:44Phil needs it done, so let's just get it done
09:47Please
10:01Call me when you get here and I want you to go outside
10:03Thank you, cheers
10:04Right, Floris is on her way efficient too
10:07And decorations are ready to go
10:08Yeah, second hand decorations
10:10Not second hand
10:11Not second hand
10:12Pre-loved
10:13Oh
10:14Okay, Grant
10:15Order food sorted, right?
10:16Yeah, Bible's done
10:17Piggy bits ready
10:18Oh, rabbit food, Piggy bits
10:20This is a real wedding, okay?
10:22We have a reputation to uphold
10:25Well, and if we don't end up in a mud fight or break up a reception
10:28We'll definitely feel short
10:30Can I play devil's advocate here?
10:32If we said no, would it matter?
10:34Look, I mean, Piggy bits are lovely and decorations and everything
10:38But are you sure she's gonna want this?
10:42Mum, I've known Lauren since we were 14 years old
10:44I know her better than anyone
10:45This is exactly what she would want
10:48I promise you
10:49Right, we do have plenty of time until she's back from the spa
10:53So come on, people, let's get to work
10:55Woo!
10:56Okay, come on
10:57How come they shut down a whole spa because some silly cow overdid it in the sauna?
11:05Penny, the woman did pass out
11:07She had more Botox than brain cells
11:09Why should we suffer because her fill is fried?
11:11Yeah, well, they did give us two day passes, so just stop complaining, yeah?
11:16Right, I'm gonna give Peter a call, tell him I'm home
11:19I might even be asked to get some of my ironing done before I've got to pick Louie up
11:22Oh, Louv Lauren is long gone
11:25I used to struggle keeping up with you in Paris
11:28And now look
11:29You were given the day off of work and kids, one set back
11:32And you're just running back to the housewife humdrum
11:35Well, not today
11:37Today, we are bringing old Lauren back
11:44Come on
11:45Come on
11:47Come on
11:49Come on
11:50Come on
11:51Well, but quick, have you helped?
11:53Sorry, mate, I was just waiting for a call
11:55What did you want to know, Jo, yeah?
11:57Oh, Toad
12:00This is your dream come true, isn't it?
12:03The shine
12:06We need a shiny lever
12:07Oh, yeah
12:10Keeping my hands to myself has always been a bit of a problem, eh?
12:13You excited for the wedding later?
12:14Mm-hmm
12:15I think I might wear trainers, so I win the bouquet toss
12:18And have you been practising your two-step?
12:20I mean, I know Pete is a bill, but this is a night family wedding too
12:24And we like to dance
12:25I do not dance
12:27We need a new one
12:28I'll go
12:29No, no, Kojo, I'll go, don't we?
12:30No, Kojo, come on to live
12:31No, Kojo's busy
12:32Yeah, so are you
12:33We've got to work out when you're going to pick me up later
12:35And I've got some outfit selfies that you need to vote on
12:38Go on, Kojo, darling
12:40Just straight to the stall and back, yeah, Kojo?
12:44Kojo!
12:47You're running a very tight ship
12:49Anyway, back to business
12:51So, I've got high neck and short
12:55Yeah?
12:56Or low cotton, no
12:59Yeah, that one
13:00That one
13:01I know he owed you money
13:06Okay, what if you change your mind then?
13:10Hello? Uncle Sid?
13:13Oh, for God's sake
13:15You all right, Kath?
13:18Well, I'm head cook and chief bottle washer for a last-minute wedding, so no
13:22No, not really
13:23Well, I'll top you
13:24You could be selling a funeral for someone everybody hated
13:26Well, er, Johnny, not helping you
13:29Only, you two seem a bit close
13:32No, he's a good mate
13:34Yeah, well, Cal, look, this square is like a fishbowl
13:37And Ben's been a bit edgy recently, so just tread carefully, all right?
13:43You're a good boy
13:44Going through a bit of a difficult time at the Moe, so
13:47Don't make it any harder on yourself
13:56I'm gonna change my mind how it was
13:58100 meters
13:59I just put the engine up
14:00Let's go
14:01I'm gonna change my mind, I was following
14:03100 meters
14:04I just put the engine up
14:05I don't know
14:07I don't know
14:08No, no, no
14:09No, no, no, no
14:12No, no, no, no
14:14I don't know
14:16Yeah, you're a great friend
14:17No, anyway
14:20Get down
14:21I don't know
14:22You're a great friend
14:23We asked a lot
14:24Hello?
14:43Right, just because it's a mocktail doesn't mean you have to mock drink it.
14:47Penny, I've just got so much that I could be doing at home.
14:50Oh, you couldn't even give me an hour, could you?
14:52Just because I've got responsibilities now, it doesn't mean that I'm not fun anymore.
14:58It just means I need a little bit more time to plan for.
15:00Oh, and what could be more fun than planning?
15:03You sound more like your fiancé every day.
15:06He's given you a case of belitis, and it's stage five.
15:11Oh, you was all right of him, weren't you?
15:13When he was paying for our spa day.
15:15Look, I know that Peter is not your cup of tea, but he's my cup of tea.
15:18So just back off.
15:21Sorry.
15:22I just...
15:23I just miss my mate.
15:28I don't know, I just...
15:29I used to love seeing you smiling and joking, and I...
15:32I just feel like I don't see that anymore.
15:37But you're right.
15:38You've got things to do, so...
15:40Come on.
15:41Right, which one of those Love Island rejects are we going to get to buy us our next round, then?
15:53Get back, which one of those are we going to get to buy us our next round?
16:08Is she in Kojo anywhere?
16:10But no.
16:11I'll let you know if I do see him, though.
16:19If you don't like it, you just come home.
16:21And if you love it, then it's forever.
16:24How can it be forever if I ain't got Lily and Charlie with me?
16:28I mean, be honest.
16:29Do you actually think I'm going to be happy without them?
16:31Well, I think you owe it to yourself to try.
16:36Just talk to Jean.
16:37So you're going to be leaving us?
16:39Uh, sorry, didn't you leave for, like, 20 years?
16:42Look, all I've had since I've come back is how important family is, that we're sticking together.
16:53But leaving Charlie and Lily, you can't do that.
16:57Stace, I spent 20 years with a son at my back trying to be happy, away from my family.
17:02I left my kid.
17:05And it has taken me 20 years to realize that I need to be with my family, with my kid.
17:09That's what's going to make me happy.
17:10And you are the glue that sticks us all together.
17:16I'll see you at the Albert later to say goodbye then, eh?
17:31What's on?
17:32What's on?
17:36They robbed him.
17:38Force culture coming back home for his keys.
17:40You said you were coming straight back.
17:41He needs to go to hospital.
17:43Forget that.
17:44I ain't going to wait in or A&E.
17:45No, I'll sort it out, mate.
17:46Could you get some, eh, antiseptic from the chemist?
17:52Keep the pressure on it.
17:53That's what they say in films.
18:02Do you know how much this is going to cost us?
18:04We need to get out of here.
18:06We need to get Kojo safe.
18:07If they come back and he's here...
18:08They ain't coming back.
18:09Neither is our gear, is it?
18:10Well, they're not going to come back to the scene of the crime.
18:11It's literally crime 101.
18:12You're so stupid.
18:13This is so stupid.
18:16It's done here now.
18:17They know where we are.
18:18It's finished.
18:19You're finished?
18:20When I say we are finished, do you understand?
18:23Now, clean this place up before Kojo calls the police
18:26and let me think this through.
18:28All right?
18:28No.
18:45Yeah, darling.
18:51Your dad was a mopey drunk.
18:53Thank God you got his genes.
18:54And not your mum's.
18:55Huh?
18:55All right.
18:59What's the story, Jack and Laurie?
19:03I've got to get to the wholesalers and make it quick.
19:07It's Callum.
19:10He's really struggling with this funeral.
19:16And it's because I lied to him.
19:23I told him that his dad said he loved him.
19:25When he was dying.
19:32I just wanted to tell him something he wanted to hear, you know?
19:35Now he's just scrambling around trying to give him a good send-off.
19:39It just breaks my heart.
19:43I need to tell him the truth.
19:45When you love someone, sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
19:54That boy grew up with a brute for a father.
19:58You had a gentleman.
20:01You gave him a bit of light to make his past seem a bit brighter.
20:04That is an act of love.
20:17Who's going to drink?
20:18No, I'm not.
20:21Get out of the table.
20:21Go off.
20:22No, I'm not.
20:22Yeah, let's get over.
20:23Are you doing that?
20:38Wow.
20:39You trying to upset the bride, or what?
20:41You look gorgeous.
20:43You OK?
20:44Yeah.
20:46I was just really looking forward to today.
20:47So I went to see how it worked.
20:49And he's more interested in Kojo and the camp.
20:52Now he's late.
20:54I just, I never know where I stand with him.
20:56We're getting kind of tired of waiting to find out.
20:58If he's not standing by your side at that wedding,
21:01he's an idiot.
21:02And not worth waiting for.
21:09Three, two, one.
21:10Hooray!
21:14Nah.
21:15But it tastes like petrol.
21:17How do you know what petrol tastes like?
21:20They used to call me Siphon Moe.
21:22Now I'm sticking to vodka.
21:23Today I'm avoiding wedding preps and hangovers.
21:26Lightweight.
21:27I'm a bottle of wine down after being indoors.
21:30And if we're going to pour one for Stace,
21:32then it's got to be done properly, isn't it?
21:34I still can't believe she ain't taking you with her.
21:36Do you think I'd rather be helping with the bill bash
21:39than sitting here putting on a face?
21:41Heh.
21:42If Peter's anything like his dad,
21:44their confetti's on elastic.
21:47Here, listen, right?
21:48Supporting faces all round.
21:49She's made her choice.
21:50Here she is, Samba Slater.
21:52I ain't going, you all right?
21:54Hooray!
21:55Hooray!
21:56What?
21:57Like, definitely.
21:58Like, you're not going to flip-flop again.
22:00Just a favour,
22:01go and get us a cocktail with an umbrella in it.
22:03It's the closest I'm going to get to a carnival cocktail, isn't it?
22:07I'm so happy!
22:10Guilt trips do work.
22:11You are the glue, Stace.
22:14Are you sure, Mum?
22:17Yeah!
22:18Sure as I'd ever be, babe.
22:23Will.
22:24Shots.
22:26This is strong.
22:27Cool.
22:29We're running a lot of champagne flutes.
22:31Your boss said we could borrow some.
22:33Reluctantly.
22:39Scrub pretty well, don't I?
22:41Luckily, I'll have a sort on my arm later that will complete the fit.
22:46Remember, we are keeping things under wraps in front of the center, yeah?
22:49Be boring.
22:50Oh, yeah.
22:51I know.
22:52Cindy Schwindy.
22:53But, if you are looking for a mummy mentor,
22:56you should find one that don't make Cruella look so Cinderella.
23:02Can I pull you for a chat?
23:11Oh, Samuel Robert High.
23:14Entrepreneur.
23:15Or what, does posting to 200 TikTok followers count as an entrepreneur now?
23:19So you won't be calling in them?
23:21Better not.
23:22I'd probably end up drowning him in his cold plunge.
23:26See?
23:27That's my Lauren.
23:29I've missed you.
23:31Am I really that boring now?
23:33Oh, not now, no.
23:34A little break from Beale Burrow agrees with you, babe.
23:37Yeah.
23:39Speaking of Beales,
23:41are you going to tell him that you were my wingwoman today?
23:44No, no, no.
23:45I don't think he'd take it as well as I took his burlesque bestie.
23:48Yeah, if it was my bloke, I'd have choked her with her nipple tassels.
23:52But you're just not the jealous type.
23:54I mean, I have been, just once or twice.
23:58No, I'm just, just not with the person you want to marry.
24:03I reckon me and Peter, we'll probably end up being one of them couples, you know,
24:06that just stay engaged forever.
24:08And I'm all right with that.
24:09It's just a piece of paper, innit?
24:11I mean, we're happy the way we are.
24:13Maybe it is a good thing.
24:15You know, you feel safe with him.
24:18You don't feel like you need to fight women away.
24:21You don't need to get married.
24:22You're just comfortable.
24:24I don't know, I've just always thought you were more like me, I suppose.
24:27Well, what does that mean?
24:28Well, you know, like,
24:30like somebody who likes the pot bubbling.
24:33Bit of excitement.
24:34Bit of passion.
24:35Out all night, turning heads till three in the morning,
24:37not tucked up in bed by nine.
24:40But if you like a simile these days, good for you.
24:44Makes life a lot easier.
24:46See, when I fall in love, though, like proper love,
24:48like I want to feel jealous.
24:50Like I want to like slam a ring on their finger
24:52and just like have them all to myself.
24:54That's love to me.
24:56But if that's not love to you,
24:58you're mine to judge.
25:02Right.
25:03Shall we get you back to your Bill Bliss then?
25:05Yeah?
25:07Shall we just have one more?
25:08Come on.
25:38Harry!
25:54Harry!
26:02Harry!
26:03Harry!
26:04Harry!
26:07No, you're joking.
26:09You ain't even ready.
26:10I've been waiting outside for you.
26:11Gee, I'm sorry.
26:12I'm just, um...
26:14Just give me five minutes.
26:16Don't bother.
26:18I ain't gonna wait for you anymore.
26:21No, gee.
26:22Are you sure you won't mind me tagging along?
26:35No, of course not.
26:36That'd be silly.
26:46I saw this.
26:52Well, I'm running.
27:06Will you marry me?
27:08Today.
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