The Graham Norton Show Season 32 Episode 22

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Transcript

00:00:00Hello and welcome to this compilation of highlights from this series.

00:00:19We've had some great guests. Shall we even look back at some of them?

00:00:22I'm so glad you said that. Let's start the show!

00:00:30They're pleased. Sometimes there's buyer's remorse, but not tonight. They're happy.

00:00:55They're happy. So it's a first-time welcome to Domaine. Hello!

00:00:58So happy to be here. I feel like I've finally made it.

00:01:01Yeah, right. This is it.

00:01:03Now, you have been travelling all over the world promoting the substance, but you haven't been alone.

00:01:10You've been upstaged at every turn.

00:01:13Yes. I have a significant other. Yes. I think we've got a...

00:01:16A special significant other. I've got a picture. There. This is... What's...

00:01:20Pilaf? Wait till you made it. It's a...

00:01:24Pilaf the little mouse. Pilaf the little mouse.

00:01:26Yes. And is it a male mouse or a female mouse?

00:01:28It's a female. But here's the thing, so...

00:01:30I want a selfie with it. Yeah.

00:01:32Oh, and it is photogenic. Pilaf is very photogenic because has done a cover shoot.

00:01:37Yes. I knew that she had really moved into a whole new category when my publicist got a call just for Pilaf to be on the cover of Dogue.

00:01:45Dogue, Dogue, you know... Dogue, is there really a Dogue?

00:01:48Yeah, for real. Yeah, it's Vogue for dogs. There it is. There it is.

00:01:51I got that part. Look at the snow.

00:01:53That's amazing. That's amazing.

00:01:57Isn't that really a... Have you got that framed in your house? You must.

00:02:00Not yet, but I plan to. And that's the size the dog actually is.

00:02:04Honestly, why did you leave her out in the snow?

00:02:10Pilaf isn't on set yet.

00:02:12No, but she is here.

00:02:14Oh. Shall I?

00:02:15Shall we? We ought to. Oh, yeah.

00:02:17Oh, jeez. Just look at... Did we mic the dog? To hear her heartbeats?

00:02:24Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my God!

00:02:30Hi! Hi! Hi! Oh, you're so good. Oh! Oh! Oh, she's so weird!

00:02:35She's in me! She's in me! This is... This is... Oh!

00:02:38Do you have treats in your pockets? Oh! No, no. She's just an equal opportunity receiver.

00:02:42Now, does Pilaf understand this is television, so she ought to piss?

00:02:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that would go viral for us.

00:02:48Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that would go viral for us.

00:02:50That would be a fair thing to do.

00:02:51I don't want to touch...

00:02:52I don't want to touch...

00:02:53I had a feel backstage.

00:02:54Yes, you did. You had a feel backstage.

00:02:55Oh, oh! I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her.

00:02:56Oh, oh! I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her.

00:02:57I know! Isn't she so fragile?

00:02:59Oh, my God! She's so...

00:03:01But she... She's a stealer. She's a scene stealer.

00:03:03Look at the tongue. The tongue is amazing.

00:03:05I'm right here.

00:03:06How old is Pilaf?

00:03:09She's so cute.

00:03:10He'll often be four in November.

00:03:12Wow.

00:03:13I don't mean this rudely, but looks older.

00:03:16LAUGHTER

00:03:18Now, I turn to you, Grant, because you, obviously, a very successful actor,

00:03:22but when you announced you were going to be an actor,

00:03:24were your parents supportive?

00:03:26Not at all, no.

00:03:30My father's an old soldier.

00:03:32Literally.

00:03:33Yes.

00:03:34Yeah.

00:03:35My mother was a church-going teacher.

00:03:39She wanted me to be the Archbishop of Canterbury.

00:03:43To be honest, I haven't given up hooks.

00:03:47After Four Weddings and a Funeral came out,

00:03:49and suddenly I was, you know, people knew who I was,

00:03:52my mum went to a dinner party amongst all these sort of...

00:03:55..like-minded people.

00:03:57And some man was sitting next to her and said,

00:03:59I hear you have two sons, Mrs Grant.

00:04:01What do they do?

00:04:02And she said, oh, well, one's an investment banker

00:04:05and the other's a film star.

00:04:06And he said, how very interesting.

00:04:08Which bank?

00:04:09LAUGHTER

00:04:13That's the world I grew up in.

00:04:16And I have to say, it's extraordinary that I'm on the show

00:04:18with Selina, because it makes me quite emotional.

00:04:21Because when I saw your documentary on Apple

00:04:24about your illness struggles, I was thinking, do I share?

00:04:28You know, is this something I should do?

00:04:30Because it feels quite vulnerable, sharing.

00:04:33Yeah.

00:04:34It's not something I've done before.

00:04:35And I watched your documentary and I just thought,

00:04:37absolutely, yes.

00:04:38And that's what kept me writing.

00:04:39So, the fact that I'm on the show with you...

00:04:42Honestly, it's extraordinary.

00:04:43Absolutely.

00:04:44It's extraordinary.

00:04:45I'm so...

00:04:46APPLAUSE

00:04:47Because...

00:04:51To do it on film as well, to witness somebody

00:04:53in the pain that I was in for different conditions,

00:04:56but we, you know, we know what a chronic condition is like.

00:05:00And it's always rumbling there.

00:05:02And they, you know, I know what it's like in a very different way.

00:05:05I wasn't in arenas as a pop star.

00:05:07But I was backstage at the BBC, you know,

00:05:09trying to go on, not knowing whether to go on

00:05:11and whether...

00:05:12How I was.

00:05:13So, it's amazing that Selina is here,

00:05:14and I think she's incredible.

00:05:16But back to me...

00:05:17LAUGHTER

00:05:18APPLAUSE

00:05:24But tough, tough, tough competition on the bookshelves.

00:05:28Yes.

00:05:29Well, Boris Johnson's book comes out.

00:05:32LAUGHTER

00:05:33Anyone bought it?

00:05:34No, but here's...

00:05:35Here's my thinking.

00:05:36My book's called...

00:05:37I haven't been entirely honest with you.

00:05:39LAUGHTER

00:05:45You got there first.

00:05:48And his book's called Unleashed.

00:05:49We need to swap.

00:05:51LAUGHTER

00:05:52I'm unleashed back into society,

00:05:54much to your joy and pleasure.

00:05:56Well...

00:05:57Yes.

00:05:58LAUGHTER

00:05:59Yes.

00:06:00LAUGHTER

00:06:01And you forget, kind of, the E Street Band and you,

00:06:04you haven't always been this huge star filling in arenas,

00:06:06and the guys in the film are talking about,

00:06:08you know, those early gigs,

00:06:10those kind of...

00:06:11Yeah.

00:06:12..pretty ropey venues and stuff.

00:06:13Ah, we played Sing Sing Prison.

00:06:15Yeah.

00:06:16Yeah, that was very strange.

00:06:18We...

00:06:19I was 22, it was my manager's idea,

00:06:21he thought it would be great publicity

00:06:23to play Sing Sing Prison.

00:06:25So we go in, and we're setting our stuff up,

00:06:30and there's a small auditorium,

00:06:32and there's one of the prisoners just sweeping the floor,

00:06:35he says,

00:06:36Well, where's the girls?

00:06:38LAUGHTER

00:06:40And he says,

00:06:41Well, girls?

00:06:42He says, yeah, I mean,

00:06:44you brought girls with you, didn't you?

00:06:46LAUGHTER

00:06:47LAUGHTER

00:06:48No.

00:06:49LAUGHTER

00:06:52Just kept sweeping.

00:06:53LAUGHTER

00:06:54Kept sweeping.

00:06:55So usually, I guess bands came,

00:06:57and they had entertainment, you know?

00:06:59But, uh...

00:07:00So we come out...

00:07:03Uh...

00:07:04All we see is...

00:07:06like 500 prisoners.

00:07:08LAUGHTER

00:07:09LAUGHTER

00:07:10I'm doing my shtick, I'm doing everything I can,

00:07:13all I'm getting is...

00:07:15LAUGHTER

00:07:16And finally, I hit a high note on the guitar.

00:07:19I hear...

00:07:20Bip!

00:07:21Come out of the audience.

00:07:22I hit it again.

00:07:23Bip!

00:07:24Hit it again.

00:07:26Bip!

00:07:27Suddenly,

00:07:29a small group of prisoners opens up,

00:07:31guy steps up,

00:07:33goes into his shirt,

00:07:35and pulls out a tiny saxophone.

00:07:37LAUGHTER

00:07:38Yeah.

00:07:39And starts to play it,

00:07:40and he could really play it.

00:07:41Wow!

00:07:42Oh, no!

00:07:43I said...

00:07:44Up on stage,

00:07:45he came up on stage,

00:07:46the place erupted into applause,

00:07:49and the rest of the night was fine.

00:07:50Yeah.

00:07:51Wow!

00:07:52APPLAUSE

00:07:55I don't think anyone was expecting a tiny saxophone.

00:07:57Think about it, Jack.

00:07:58Was that...

00:07:59Was that his ticket out of prison, then, was it?

00:08:01Yeah, yeah.

00:08:02With a band, yeah.

00:08:03LAUGHTER

00:08:04Yeah, just loading the gear.

00:08:06Talking of humble beginnings,

00:08:09Amy Adams, I was saying that,

00:08:10you know, six-time Oscar nominee,

00:08:12but you started...

00:08:13You did a lot of,

00:08:14I don't think we really have it in this country,

00:08:16dinner theatre.

00:08:17Yeah, I did dinner theatre,

00:08:19in Colorado and Minnesota.

00:08:20Home of dinner theatre.

00:08:22And, uh...

00:08:23Yes, sir.

00:08:24That's right, sir.

00:08:25But, like, we've got some pictures of you,

00:08:27and, like, they look like big productions.

00:08:29Yeah, they were...

00:08:30This was at Chanhassen Dinner Theatre.

00:08:31By the way, that's you, isn't it?

00:08:32Yeah, that's me with that...

00:08:33Wow.

00:08:34Really?

00:08:35You're the best.

00:08:36You're the best.

00:08:37The cheesiest grin.

00:08:38I mean, I've had it.

00:08:39Um...

00:08:40Yeah, they did really big productions.

00:08:41It's actually...

00:08:42And how does it work?

00:08:43Do you eat first, and then the show, or...?

00:08:45It depends on the theatre.

00:08:46But, yes, typically you eat first,

00:08:48and then perform.

00:08:49Did you ever do dinner theatre?

00:08:50No, I never did dinner.

00:08:51No.

00:08:52No.

00:08:53No, I did not.

00:08:54Just you, Amy.

00:08:55Oh, yeah.

00:08:56I've got to say, I was just thinking about dinner theatre.

00:08:58Does busking in the street while someone eats a kebab qualify...

00:08:59Yes, sir.

00:09:00...as dinner theatre?

00:09:01In which case, I started there.

00:09:02So...

00:09:03Don't you just love watching stuff with guns?

00:09:05Don't say that.

00:09:06Don't say that.

00:09:07No, but, like, any boy's dream.

00:09:08Like, growing up, you just, like...

00:09:09I don't know, I love watching that.

00:09:10Were you guys told...

00:09:11Because I was told on Hannah that, apparently,

00:09:12no-one...

00:09:13No-one...

00:09:14Did you ever do dinner theatre?

00:09:15Did you ever do dinner theatre?

00:09:16Does busking in the street while someone eats a kebab qualify...

00:09:18Yes, sir.

00:09:19..as dinner theatre?

00:09:20In which case, I started there.

00:09:21So, er...

00:09:22Don't you just love watching stuff with guns?

00:09:23Don't say that.

00:09:24Like, any swords or guns?

00:09:25Don't say that.

00:09:26No, but, like, any boy's dream.

00:09:28Like, growing up, you just, like...

00:09:30I don't know, I love watching that.

00:09:31Yeah.

00:09:32Were you guys told...

00:09:33Because I was told on Hannah that, apparently,

00:09:35no-one professionally actually holds a gun like this.

00:09:38Yeah.

00:09:39Because if a target comes around the corner,

00:09:41it means that you're going to shoot up there first.

00:09:43You've always got to hold it down here.

00:09:44Absolutely.

00:09:45So you'll hit some of them.

00:09:46And I can see that your fingers are in the right place.

00:09:48I'm not trying to give anyone ticks.

00:09:49I'm not trying to give anyone ticks.

00:09:50Someone tomorrow got it.

00:09:51Yeah.

00:09:52Saoirse said...

00:09:53Yeah.

00:09:54I didn't think about...

00:09:56Mammy, Saoirse said...

00:09:59And now, who was training you?

00:10:01There was a...

00:10:02Was he ex-military?

00:10:03I'll tell you who was training me was a gentleman called Paul Biddish,

00:10:06who is...

00:10:07Oh, Paul Biddish.

00:10:08Yeah.

00:10:09He's an amazing man and his sort of job description is

00:10:12espionage expert, military expert,

00:10:15which I think must look great on a business card.

00:10:18And...

00:10:19To show his diversity, he went straight from us to Gladiator 2.

00:10:22Yeah.

00:10:23What was he doing on Gladiator?

00:10:24He was, like, wrangling everybody to look like gladiators

00:10:27and he had no voice at the end of it because he was just...

00:10:29Oh, he was the guy training everybody?

00:10:31He was the guy who would be like...

00:10:32Left, right.

00:10:33Right, right.

00:10:34No voice at the end.

00:10:35He's like...

00:10:36Cool.

00:10:37That sounds like a harder job.

00:10:38That sounds like a harder job.

00:10:39Yeah, yeah.

00:10:40Than telling Eddie.

00:10:41Yeah.

00:10:42Yeah.

00:10:43What did he make you do?

00:10:44So, a lot of what the jackal does is he's kind of invisible.

00:10:47He's a ghost and he...

00:10:48So, I was taught, like, tracking techniques and espionage things.

00:10:51That's so cool.

00:10:52It was so good.

00:10:53Yeah.

00:10:54And so, I went and he taught us all these things about how you walk

00:10:57through the streets, you're kind of using windows and wing mirrors

00:11:00and...

00:11:01And then...

00:11:02And he showed me all these...

00:11:03What I love, which the jackal retains, is those kind of old

00:11:06school gadgets.

00:11:07Like, you know, cameras in a button.

00:11:09Yeah.

00:11:10That sort of thing.

00:11:11Anyway, he showed us all the kit, taught me the skills and then

00:11:13said, right, go off into Covent Garden and, um...

00:11:16And be...

00:11:17And do it.

00:11:18And he showed me WhatsApps of the person that I had to follow.

00:11:20And then you'd have to pursue them.

00:11:21And then he'd send me another WhatsApp of someone that was

00:11:23pursuing me.

00:11:24Oh!

00:11:25Again, going...

00:11:26I thought I was doing such a good job, like...

00:11:28Did you get caught?

00:11:29Checking and wing mirrors.

00:11:30It's the definition of being, like, a seven-year-old.

00:11:32But getting paid for it.

00:11:33And then, like, it's amazing.

00:11:35It's exactly...

00:11:36Did you get caught?

00:11:37I thought it was going really brilliantly until, because it was

00:11:40central Covent Garden, there was a moment when I...

00:11:42I was...

00:11:43And you also had to record the footage.

00:11:44So I was sort of walking along surreptitiously.

00:11:46Again, shit at lying.

00:11:47So I was sort of walking along and doing that.

00:11:49And then...

00:11:50And then there was this slightly moment when I walked past,

00:11:52like, one of those, like, human statues.

00:11:54Yeah.

00:11:55Um, and...

00:11:56And I took a moment of that in.

00:11:57Just saw some nice cinematography.

00:11:59Yeah.

00:12:00And then a group of tourists from China turned around

00:12:02and asked for selfies.

00:12:03So I thought I was going...

00:12:04Doing well, but...

00:12:05It's hiding in plain sight.

00:12:06Yeah.

00:12:07It is hard.

00:12:08You get asked for selfies a lot.

00:12:09Not that often, but if you walk around Covent Garden...

00:12:11Every story at some point, it's like,

00:12:13and then I got asked for a selfie.

00:12:15Exactly.

00:12:16Because, Denzel, now, in the Equalizer,

00:12:18who turned you the Navy SEALs trained you?

00:12:20Uh, yeah.

00:12:21They work with a few people.

00:12:23Yeah, yeah.

00:12:24Do you retain any of the information they gave you?

00:12:26No, I can't share it with you.

00:12:29Wasn't it kind of that you can kill somebody with anything?

00:12:32I can.

00:12:33Don't do it now.

00:12:34It may bring the whole mood down.

00:12:36Take the shoe off and...

00:12:39I find some of the techniques, though, that you learn,

00:12:41like, some of the things Paul taught us is how you can use,

00:12:44um, how you can use your phone if someone's attacking you,

00:12:47the butt of your phone to go around the neck.

00:12:48Yeah, but who's actually going to think about that?

00:12:50If someone attacked me, I'm not going to go phone.

00:12:52I think...

00:12:53That's a very good point.

00:12:58I like the part of it.

00:12:59That's what girls have to think about all the time.

00:13:01Yeah.

00:13:02Am I right, ladies?

00:13:03Yeah.

00:13:04Now, in the introduction there, Billy, I mentioned Harry Met Sally,

00:13:08and I know you've been telling this story.

00:13:09Do you mind telling us about the premiere here in the UK?

00:13:13Well, it's the 35th anniversary of the film.

00:13:16Wow.

00:13:17Um, I was seven when we did it.

00:13:20So we have a premiere, a royal premiere in Leicester Square.

00:13:25Yeah.

00:13:26And, and Princess Diana was coming.

00:13:28So we were all taught what to say and not to say.

00:13:33There she is, a magnificent person.

00:13:38We waited as Meg and I, and the limo pulls up and she gets out,

00:13:43and she couldn't have been more gracious and stunning and tall.

00:13:50And just her presence was astounding.

00:13:53Yeah.

00:13:54So we shake hands.

00:13:55And we go upstairs in the first row of the balcony in the theatre,

00:13:59and there are trumpeteers on stage playing whatever it is that they play for her,

00:14:04which is like every movie I've ever, I've ever gone to.

00:14:07They've had trumpeteers there.

00:14:09And you're in the front row, and Meg is on her left and I'm on her right,

00:14:13and she waves everybody, sit down, the lights go down,

00:14:16and she whispers to me,

00:14:18I'm gonna take my shoes off.

00:14:21So I go, I'm gonna take my pants off.

00:14:24Sometimes I say the wrong thing.

00:14:27Oh, you're naughty, you're naughty.

00:14:32So now the movie's playing beautifully and we get to the famous fake orgasm scene.

00:14:39And everybody knew about it, but I don't think she did.

00:14:44So I could look over the balcony and everyone in the orchestra just turns around to look at her,

00:14:51who I'm sitting next to, and she starts laughing.

00:14:57This incredibly guttural sound that was like...

00:15:04And over and over.

00:15:07Couldn't catch her breath.

00:15:10And it was, like, stunning.

00:15:12And I thought, here's this unbelievable person, but if it was a date, I don't think I'd see her again.

00:15:18Just because the laugh would just...

00:15:21I can't...

00:15:22I mean, she's beautiful, she's a princess, guys, but the laugh.

00:15:26I really love it, but it was a memorable, memorable thing like that.

00:15:32And, Jennifer, earlier this year we had the...

00:15:34Was it the ninth studio album?

00:15:35Yes.

00:15:36Wow.

00:15:37Wow.

00:15:38This is me now.

00:15:39Yeah.

00:15:43And I know for various reasons the tour didn't happen, but is the tour going to happen?

00:15:46Is it in the future?

00:15:47You know, I decided to take the summer off and be home with the kids,

00:15:52and it was the best thing I think I've ever done.

00:15:56It's not like me to do that, and I always, like, when it comes up,

00:16:00I would like to apologize to the fans because I know a lot of them were coming out.

00:16:04I actually saw fans here who told me,

00:16:06oh, I...

00:16:07This was actually very touching.

00:16:09Coming out of the hotel yesterday, they were like,

00:16:12oh, I had tickets to go see you, and I was like, I'm so sorry.

00:16:15And he was like, don't say sorry.

00:16:17We love you.

00:16:18Aww.

00:16:19And I wanted...

00:16:20I started crying right away.

00:16:21Was that you?

00:16:22Thank you so much.

00:16:24I...

00:16:25I...

00:16:26I...

00:16:27I got in the car and literally cried.

00:16:42Honestly, it was very hard for me to cancel.

00:16:45No, I understand.

00:16:46I've never done that before.

00:16:47We understand.

00:16:48We understand.

00:16:49I'm sorry.

00:16:50OK, good.

00:16:51OK, good.

00:16:52So adorable.

00:16:53So adorable.

00:16:55I'm holding it together.

00:16:57I know.

00:16:58I'm holding it together.

00:16:59What a lovely moment.

00:17:00That was adorable.

00:17:01I don't know.

00:17:02That...

00:17:03By the way, if you're watching this thinking, thinking we staged that,

00:17:06we really didn't.

00:17:07No!

00:17:08The security are going to be fired.

00:17:11LAUGHTER

00:17:12Uh, James, had you worked with Bill Nye before?

00:17:15Because he is sort of a legend.

00:17:16He's a legend.

00:17:17No, I mean, I hadn't.

00:17:18And he is everything you hope he is.

00:17:19He's like, you know, all the rumours are true.

00:17:21That's an interesting photo.

00:17:22That guy behind me is my dad.

00:17:25On the left.

00:17:26That's my dad's arm, yeah.

00:17:27Oh, he must be thrilled.

00:17:28He's thrilled.

00:17:29He'll be punching the air right now.

00:17:32Genuinely.

00:17:33When he comes...

00:17:34When he...

00:17:35Because he comes on a desert day.

00:17:36LAUGHTER

00:17:37He comes on a desert day every film I do.

00:17:40And he has actually featured more than the album.

00:17:42Yeah, yeah.

00:17:43But now he's on the Graham Norton show, so he'll be on the show.

00:17:45No!

00:17:46LAUGHTER

00:17:47So he's left and is.

00:17:48There he goes, right?

00:17:49Yeah.

00:17:50That's so cool.

00:17:51Right.

00:17:52What about Bill?

00:17:53Yeah, no, Bill and Thomas are heavenly.

00:17:56We have a WhatsApp group called The Fallopians now,

00:17:58which maybe is...

00:17:59LAUGHTER

00:18:00I don't know if that's inappropriate.

00:18:02I did call them and say, am I allowed to talk about that?

00:18:04LAUGHTER

00:18:05And, er...

00:18:06But you love a WhatsApp group.

00:18:08Do I?

00:18:09Will, you set up the little women one.

00:18:11I think I did.

00:18:12I think maybe I've mentioned that on this before.

00:18:13Oh, did you mention that here?

00:18:14Yeah.

00:18:15I like setting them up, and then I retreat,

00:18:17and I become...

00:18:18And then I actually become the voyeur,

00:18:19or I don't really do or say anything.

00:18:21Our WhatsApp group is mostly Bill suggesting restaurants

00:18:24for us to have dinner in, cos he eats every meal out,

00:18:27so we go and...

00:18:28Let's see.

00:18:29Wow.

00:18:30Cos, er, cos Nicole Kidman on The Perfect Couple,

00:18:32which is still on Netflix,

00:18:33you had a WhatsApp group, didn't you?

00:18:35No.

00:18:36LAUGHTER

00:18:37That's not what I hear.

00:18:38Yes.

00:18:39Yes.

00:18:40Yeah.

00:18:41Yeah.

00:18:42Oh, no, they did.

00:18:43They did.

00:18:44They...

00:18:47Nicole has left the group.

00:18:49LAUGHTER

00:18:50I just weighed in on the dance,

00:18:52cos they wanted us to do that dance.

00:18:54The big opening titles.

00:18:55Yes.

00:18:56Mob.

00:18:57And the consensus on the WhatsApp group was,

00:18:59no, we're not doing it,

00:19:01and the only person that wanted to do it was Liev.

00:19:04Was there a wicked WhatsApp group?

00:19:05Er, no.

00:19:07Wow.

00:19:08Well, we saw each other every single day for like 14,

00:19:1012 hours, so they didn't really need to,

00:19:12and we weren't at home for very long,

00:19:14so there wasn't much need to message.

00:19:16Yeah, you didn't miss anything.

00:19:17No, we weren't missing anything except for sleep,

00:19:19do you know what I mean?

00:19:20So, we were in the next day at 4 o'clock in the morning,

00:19:24so, you know.

00:19:25But how do you text with these?

00:19:27Oh, I didn't have these ones.

00:19:28These were slightly shorter.

00:19:29OK.

00:19:30But texting nails.

00:19:31But how do you text now?

00:19:32Oh, with my fingers.

00:19:34LAUGHTER

00:19:35OK.

00:19:36Not with the nails.

00:19:37Not with the nails.

00:19:38Amazing.

00:19:39No, I'm amazed cos I've had some nails on

00:19:41and I can't do anything.

00:19:42Oh, you've got the long nails, have you?

00:19:43These are my nails.

00:19:44Oh, my goodness.

00:19:45No, they're exquisite.

00:19:46Thank you very much.

00:19:47Well, I thought you'd taken them off.

00:19:48I didn't...

00:19:49You're just holding them like that.

00:19:50Oh, my goodness.

00:19:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:52And they are amazing.

00:19:53Really amazing.

00:19:54The WhatsApp groups you have when you've got a kid

00:19:55are, like, another level.

00:19:56If you're ever in a parent's WhatsApp,

00:19:57nothing will drain your phone battery quicker.

00:19:58LAUGHTER

00:19:59Then somebody's saying, just to remind you,

00:20:01it's own clothes and clothes and clothes.

00:20:02It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

00:20:04it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

00:20:05it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

00:20:06it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:17God damn it, yeah.

00:20:19And then somebody's saying, just to remind you,

00:20:21it's own clothes day on Thursday and then there's 30 people,

00:20:23thank you!

00:20:24I've got to ask you about the the title for under the truck where does that come from really what

00:20:34it was was picturing being under a truck you're either fixing the truck or you're getting run over

00:20:40by the truck and therefore a metaphor for it's great I love that it sounds like something your

00:20:46mother would have said right you're drunk under the truck but I like you you've talked about some

00:20:52of the titles you rejected oh yeah wait keep talking and I'll take them out some of these are

00:20:57great no they're not I mean I think one one title was like I just panicked about this title I think

00:21:05the first title was gasoline bubble bath which sounded like an adolescent poetry book and then

00:21:10and then there was lacerating the peach I don't really know what that one means it sounds sexual

00:21:17oh wait who came up with it did you come up with that lacerating the peach yeah yes ma'am did you

00:21:22come up with all of them yes ma'am oh you're lucky I don't did you did you come up with Cher

00:21:27you know what I wish I could have used was and then we'll get through this but I wish I could

00:21:36have used mama tried which is the great song by Merle Haggard is it Merle Haggard mama tried

00:21:41lessons in rodeo behind infant a prickly heart falling upward I don't tylenol gifts and

00:21:49anthropomorphic life I don't even know what that means but I somebody said asphalt sugar don't feed

00:21:56the baby too much

00:21:58we came up from under the truck because it was a nice metaphor and it strikes me that it must be

00:22:12interesting going back and telling some of these stories because they are about kind of your wilder

00:22:17days but you're seeing them now through sober eyes were you able to kind of understand who you were in

00:22:23those stories yeah it's fun because people ask I know they ask you this too is it cathartic and it's

00:22:28not there's nothing cathartic about it there's stories that I've told a million times and I had

00:22:3288 I think when I started the book I had 88 full journals from the time I was eight years old wow so

00:22:39that was prompting memories it wasn't taken from the journals but it would prompt memories but the great

00:22:44thing is is it just doesn't focus on oh look at how crazy my life is I went to jail and I did this I got

00:22:50stabbed I did all the stuff which by the way I just looked when we were backstage I looked up your number

00:22:54because I was going to text you and the last text I got from you was I'm glad you're still alive

00:22:59really seriously okay I remember that night

00:23:02thank you

00:23:03yeah people care about me

00:23:06you're a lot more interesting than I thought

00:23:07no damn let me just take that in for a second man

00:23:17no come on it's all good it's all good you've been in jail you could be my boyfriend

00:23:22and in terms of theater so you started uh off off broadway

00:23:34yes when when was this we've got a picture of you in an off off broadway show I think are you

00:23:39playing a school girl yes I'm playing Lydia the captain's daughter who kept a hedgehog in her

00:23:44vagina and fed it at the table

00:23:46time for lolly three I think

00:23:52how did you get into character one of my great parts

00:23:56wow I mean me do you want to know what does it eat

00:24:00but uh lettuce

00:24:02lettuce okay

00:24:03what drew you to the script

00:24:05I have a great story about it but it will take too long

00:24:09we've got time

00:24:11this was Titanic Titanic yes

00:24:14and it was it said on the you look like you're on a boat

00:24:16yes and the boat kept sinking but it turned out to be a special effects record

00:24:21and I had an actor's studio teacher come

00:24:24who didn't really have a sense of humor he came and saw the show and he said later

00:24:28you know and the show is a hit

00:24:30he said you know I didn't really feel that you had a hedgehog in your vagina

00:24:35and I he said have you really done any work on that

00:24:40I went no you know I haven't done any work on that

00:24:43so the next night I I thought about it all day

00:24:48and the next night when I throw my leg up on the table and start feeding it lettuce

00:24:52which used to bring down the house because it was just like casual

00:24:56suddenly I tried to feel the hedgehog moving down

00:24:59and it was silent in the morning

00:25:03silent so silent

00:25:05and finally I got off stage and Chris Durang was playing a dead body

00:25:09and he said what happened I said

00:25:12I explained what happened with the actor's studio teacher he went

00:25:16that doesn't sound like a good idea

00:25:18so the next night I went back to enjoying the hedgehog

00:25:22no one wants to believe it's in there

00:25:25they're cute

00:25:27and it's a first time welcome to Jesse and Kieran

00:25:30thank you very much

00:25:31I've actually been on your show before

00:25:32I've actually been on your show before

00:25:36nice memory good I'm glad that you couldn't know me

00:25:38we did the radio together

00:25:40no we did that that was a couple years ago but around 2002 2003 as a matter of fact I think we have pictures of it

00:25:45really I think so

00:25:47oh my god

00:25:49no no one of you don't remember

00:25:52that was me Jesus

00:25:53put that get that away

00:25:54there we go

00:25:57oh my god

00:25:58what are you doing

00:25:59was this

00:26:00was this 50 years ago

00:26:02yeah yeah yeah

00:26:0345 50

00:26:04yeah one of us has aged slightly worse than the other

00:26:06I would say

00:26:07and actually Kieran I know you're married to a British woman aren't you

00:26:12yes I am yeah

00:26:12because you've been together a while now

00:26:1413 years yeah

00:26:14okay but still

00:26:16there's there's newness to her Britishness

00:26:18there's oh yeah there's always new Englishisms that come up all the time

00:26:22I remember like the first the first one that I heard when we first started dating

00:26:25we were uh we were watching wrestling at home

00:26:27WWE there was this yeah

00:26:29first date

00:26:30nobody would

00:26:30first date

00:26:31no nobody no booming

00:26:32um there was this wrestler called Big E who was this really big muscular guy big biceps

00:26:37you know pecs all that

00:26:38and he had a singlet on and before he would do his like finishing move he would take off

00:26:41one singlet then the other to signify

00:26:43and we were watching TV and she went that's right love get your baps out

00:26:46and his closet was like

00:26:49what

00:26:50give me that word

00:26:53and I've just been taken

00:26:54we were talking today about how chuffed is an amazing word

00:26:56and we don't have anything like it in the states

00:26:58nothing there's nothing quite

00:26:59there's no equivalent

00:26:59but also you guys have sorry it's a whole audience of people that's maybe going to take this the wrong way

00:27:03you guys have the most adorable little expressions and words for things

00:27:07like even the other day

00:27:08no not at all no it's funny

00:27:09really really you know what I just learned the other day she goes oh we just had a little chinwag

00:27:13it's a chat it's a conversation a chinwag

00:27:16chinwag oh my god

00:27:17yeah that's pretty cute

00:27:18and if it's a nice day you got to bring your sunnies

00:27:21but if it's raining bring your broly

00:27:24how cute

00:27:25the most adorable thing is that you guys say poo

00:27:28the cutest sentence I think I've ever heard anyone say is I done a poo

00:27:34but what do children in America do

00:27:37they shit I don't know

00:27:39they do the shit their parents

00:27:41yeah

00:27:42yeah

00:27:43yeah

00:27:44yeah

00:27:45yeah

00:27:46yeah

00:27:47yeah

00:27:48yeah

00:27:49yeah

00:27:50yeah

00:27:50I've got to bring it up anyway

00:27:51oh good

00:27:51when the movie we live in time when it premiered in in Toronto uh yourself in Florence you

00:27:58know you are the stars of film but you got slightly upstaged do you know what I'm talking

00:28:02about a horse the horse so I don't know if you know about this so there's a poster yeah

00:28:11well is it a poster or is it up it's not the poster anymore when did people start noticing

00:28:21the poster so I was about to go into a retreat like a silent retreat where I would have no

00:28:26technology for six days I'm in like Northern California and I uh that's a wanky thing to say

00:28:31and um I'm aware but anyway so I'm uh I'm entering I'm about to go in and I'm like doom scrolling

00:28:38last minute just to get my fix and I see I you know you know what I'm saying

00:28:43yeah

00:28:43yeah yeah yeah yeah I uh and I and I see this this image of a beautiful image Florence and I

00:28:50on a carousel from the film and there's a carousel horse just right in the front of the

00:28:55frame that's making a face that I can't do properly but I'm sure we will see and I look

00:28:59at it and I see I I'm like I think oh my what the huh how is this gone past all of the you know

00:29:06approvals that go through those kind of things and I'm like oh maybe I'm being a hypersensitive

00:29:10I'm a hypersensitive hyper vigilant person and I turn my phone off I go in six days later there

00:29:15are memes aplenty with the horse and Sigourney Weaver in Alien there's like the alien coming that horse

00:29:21coming out of John Hurst's chest the horse is in every single great pop culture moment of the last

00:29:2750 or 60 years and I I'm in a departure lounge and I'm weeping with joy because it's like now we

00:29:34have something to talk about on the press tour you might if you haven't seen this you might be

00:29:39thinking oh Andrew's exaggerating how crazed could a merry-go-round horse look this is unbelievable

00:29:46here is the picture what child what child goes up to the merry-go-round it goes that one

00:30:04but also I love I love the horse the horse genuinely looks like it's been caught on shot

00:30:11it's insane it's outrageous my favorite gymnastics play of 2024 came not from the Olympics in France

00:30:22but here here in Enfield North London now this clip went viral this year it's two ladies their friends

00:30:30you I'm sure you've seen this one's locked out of their house and it's uh yeah they decide to go in

00:30:37through the window I don't know if you haven't seen this it's a it's a it's a joy you might think

00:30:43twice about going the pub after you see this here here we go so she's locked out so pop into the window

00:30:49what could possibly go wrong here we go lovely work and oh oh dear

00:30:55keep going keep going there you go nearly in nearly in

00:31:10very good and uh I am very excited to say that uh those two ladies men feel they're in our audience

00:31:24uh Lisa and Lisa where are Lisa and Lisa

00:31:27there they are hi

00:31:34uh seriously so many of us have watched that clip and laughed so hard

00:31:39uh so just make sure so we know so who went through the window Lisa on the aisle

00:31:44you went through the window

00:31:46eyes on the face and uh and then Lisa you just did the pushing so uh who filmed Lisa or Lisa

00:31:53you oh you're here yeah so who are you her partner okay and why we why was it being filmed

00:32:02because whenever these two are together something goes left

00:32:06there was there's what I like is there's a there's a detail that a lot of people didn't pick up

00:32:19in the video so more happened so Lisa's bosoms fell out and then what else happened Lisa I peed around my head

00:32:29who posted it some woman in Northern Ireland I got a phone call at half past eight at night

00:32:46from my friend in Bolton going you're all over at internet I didn't know whether to stand up sit down I had oh my god I

00:32:56I think I was crying I just didn't know what to do

00:32:59we would never have put it out there so someone done something so were you like

00:33:04were you embarrassed and then please

00:33:07bit late in it

00:33:09it is genius and again did anything come of it have you got like a bra sponsorship or

00:33:15we were expecting a few pantomime offers as the ugly sisters

00:33:22but we've done a few little bits now we've got people in Texas want to buy the window and also

00:33:28great sell it sell it

00:33:35Lisa and Lisa everybody

00:33:37happy new year to you have a great 20 years ride

00:33:41oh that's funny that is funny

00:33:45so that's going to launch one part of your career but also during that production I think you developed

00:33:50kind of theatrical routines the little rituals and things

00:33:53ah yes yes I did okay so what what are some of them do you and do you still do them all the time

00:33:59so it's a it is a mad insane and ridiculous game so it's important to say that before we start

00:34:05yeah because it is mad are we playing it let's do this

00:34:09well it's called so the good the name of the game the name of the game is big booty okay

00:34:14oh okay do you want to play Big Booty Big Booty Big Booty Big Booty

00:34:18she's got it Big Booty number one Big Booty number two

00:34:20that's right

00:34:21okay I'm out

00:34:22yeah

00:34:24welcome home

00:34:27I don't leave it

00:34:29so yes it's basically it's a game it's designed to get you to sort of you know

00:34:33because you'll come in from your day and everyone's had a different sort of day

00:34:35and you get together and play this game and you actually listen to each other and respond to each other

00:34:39and like as all good theatre is about the connection I think between actors as you go

00:34:43absolutely

00:34:44I'm not criticising Breen anyway but that didn't explain the game in any way

00:34:48it was just Breen saying Big Booty a lot

00:34:51yeah

00:34:52that's the fun of the game

00:34:54so there's a basically there's a circle of people and and zero so person zero is the Big Booty

00:35:00and you number off so

00:35:02can we all play it

00:35:04if I were Breen were Big Booty I would be number one you'd be number two

00:35:09yeah Claudia you'd be number three Billy you'd be number four

00:35:12and then you have to stay you basically call across the circle to the other person and they call

00:35:17and basically if you get it wrong you go to the back and the name of the game

00:35:20the idea of the game is you get to be the Big Booty for the longest time

00:35:23okay you have to operate you are

00:35:25this is fun for him

00:35:26yeah

00:35:27I still don't understand it so you just say Big Booty

00:35:30Big Booty

00:35:31and then you say

00:35:32I'd say Big Booty number so you if you're the Big Booty

00:35:34oh I'm Big Booty yeah

00:35:35so go

00:35:36oh Big Booty number one

00:35:37number one Big Booty

00:35:38Big Booty number two

00:35:39number two Big Booty

00:35:40Big Booty number three

00:35:42that's you Claudia

00:35:43I know that

00:35:45she's like I can't it's a lie

00:35:47she can't do it

00:35:48am I asleep?

00:35:50doesn't it make you think

00:35:52thank you we're not actors

00:35:54no no I'm into it

00:35:58the key is you have to be responsive

00:36:01it's like playing catch

00:36:02it's like playing catch

00:36:03right right it's like playing catch

00:36:05playing catch would be easier

00:36:06but yes

00:36:07in the theatre

00:36:08sure

00:36:09but Claudia I think feels you've been because didn't you injure yourself

00:36:12I always do my back in because I've never exercised

00:36:15I don't have any kind of corma

00:36:17I can't lift a pence

00:36:19one of those grapes I'd be like bring it to me

00:36:22I'm like weak, frail, live on hula hoops

00:36:25I'm in the Highlands

00:36:27filming for traitors

00:36:29and there's quite a lot of standing around

00:36:31I'm not complaining but I'm standing

00:36:33it's uneven floor

00:36:35you know what I mean

00:36:36if you're 52 you get

00:36:37and I'm wearing a wellington

00:36:38my back went

00:36:39and I was like

00:36:40I'm so sorry

00:36:41and I begged Gemma

00:36:42who's lovely head of production

00:36:43she's in charge

00:36:44I was like Gemma

00:36:45I beg of you could you get

00:36:46anywhere I could get a physio

00:36:47because I see a physio in London

00:36:48we're in the middle of nowhere

00:36:49like we're an hour from

00:36:51you can't change

00:36:52the flavour of gum you're having

00:36:54do you know what I mean

00:36:55you commit

00:36:56at the beginning

00:36:57I was like is there any way

00:36:58no it's juicy fruit

00:36:59that's what you mentioned

00:37:00it's not getting a different kind of gum

00:37:01and he said

00:37:02so Gemma was so sweet

00:37:04she was like look we have found you a physio

00:37:06don't do your like chatty thing

00:37:08like could you not ask too many questions

00:37:09I was like

00:37:10I mean I am annoying right

00:37:11so I was like

00:37:12normally like

00:37:13I was like

00:37:14okay so the next day

00:37:15a man arrives

00:37:17and starts working on my back

00:37:19he's sort of like come on

00:37:20tackle out

00:37:21I don't think he uses those words

00:37:22but he was like

00:37:23no problem

00:37:25and I was

00:37:26and starts working on my back

00:37:27and I was like

00:37:28I know I can't be too chatty

00:37:29because

00:37:30he hasn't seen the trailer

00:37:31like maybe

00:37:32he just doesn't

00:37:33but after eight minutes

00:37:34I'm like

00:37:35oh thank you so much

00:37:36like do you live

00:37:37nearby or whatever

00:37:38and he said

00:37:39look they told me not to tell you

00:37:40and I said

00:37:41they told you not to tell me

00:37:42what

00:37:43and he went

00:37:44you're the first human

00:37:45I've touched in 18 months

00:37:51so I went

00:37:54one more time

00:37:55one more time

00:37:56and he said

00:37:58I'm a vet

00:37:59and I'm an animal physio

00:38:05what have you done?

00:38:06no!

00:38:07no!

00:38:08no!

00:38:09it's true

00:38:10and I said

00:38:11I said

00:38:12what have you done today

00:38:13and he went

00:38:14a skeleton

00:38:15is a skeleton

00:38:16he went

00:38:17oh

00:38:18should we continue?

00:38:19I went

00:38:20on you go

00:38:21he

00:38:22was

00:38:23majestic

00:38:24he came

00:38:25again

00:38:26because I was obsessed

00:38:27by his stories

00:38:28I said

00:38:29what have you done today?

00:38:30and he went

00:38:31a reluctant boxer

00:38:32very good

00:38:35and Michelle Yeoh

00:38:36the last time we were here

00:38:38we didn't talk about

00:38:40Quentin Tarantino

00:38:41because I didn't know

00:38:42I didn't know

00:38:43I didn't understand

00:38:44the role he played

00:38:45in your life

00:38:46so you were

00:38:47you were in Hong Kong

00:38:48and you were kind of

00:38:49you were done with movies?

00:38:50no no no

00:38:51I had a really bad accident

00:38:53making

00:38:54I wanted to pay homage

00:38:55to the stunt people

00:38:56so we made a movie called

00:38:58The Story of Akam

00:38:59The Stunt Woman

00:39:00and in shooting that

00:39:02I was pushed off

00:39:04a flyover

00:39:05and the fall was maybe from there

00:39:08but I did not anticipate

00:39:10the push was so hard

00:39:12and I tumbled over

00:39:14and nose dived into it

00:39:16and we used cardboard boxes

00:39:18we don't use like

00:39:19you know

00:39:20and all I remember was

00:39:22my head got jammed into the boxes

00:39:25and my legs came from behind

00:39:27and I heard this

00:39:29in my back

00:39:30I flipped over

00:39:32and I was in the hospital

00:39:36I had a full cast on

00:39:37and then I was back home

00:39:39you know trying to recover

00:39:41and when you get injured

00:39:42that's the most depressing time of your life

00:39:45because you are helpless

00:39:46you can't do anything

00:39:47and I think at that point I was thinking

00:39:50maybe I should just rethink this whole action thing

00:39:54maybe it's time to take a step back

00:39:57maybe do something else

00:39:58I don't know

00:39:59and it was at that point

00:40:01when Quentin came to town

00:40:03and he you know Quentin

00:40:04he's very determined to do certain things

00:40:07and when he came to Hong Kong

00:40:08he says I want to meet Jackie, Jet and Michelle

00:40:11and he met with our guys

00:40:13and I said okay

00:40:14so I'm sitting in the living room

00:40:17with my you know neck brace and all that

00:40:20very steady

00:40:23and suddenly I see this huge guy

00:40:25come bounding down the stairs

00:40:27oh Michelle

00:40:29then he picks up a pillow

00:40:31throws it on the ground

00:40:32literally just sits at my feet

00:40:34and starts to talk about my movies

00:40:36and what inspired him

00:40:38and going frame for frame

00:40:40into the first action sequence

00:40:42that I'd ever done

00:40:43like going through a back

00:40:45through a pane of glass and all that

00:40:47and so you know as I spoke with him

00:40:49I realized

00:40:50and I started getting very excited

00:40:52and the next thing my people were like

00:40:54can you please stop waving your arms around

00:40:55and just sit still

00:40:57and then I realized

00:40:58it's true

00:40:59when you love something

00:41:00you can't just give up on it

00:41:01you just

00:41:02so I have Quentin to thank for that

00:41:04and because you know

00:41:05he brought it all back

00:41:06to a realization

00:41:09it's like be smart

00:41:10don't give up

00:41:11just find a nice way

00:41:12find a proper way of doing it

00:41:13but you've never worked with them

00:41:15have you

00:41:16no

00:41:17and I asked him

00:41:18when he did

00:41:19Kill Bill

00:41:20I said

00:41:21yeah

00:41:22why was that

00:41:23I thought you're a big fan

00:41:25and buddy

00:41:26blah blah blah blah blah

00:41:27and then he said to me

00:41:29that's so quenching

00:41:30nobody would believe that

00:41:31Uma Thurman can kick your ass

00:41:33that's a good answer

00:41:35that's a good answer

00:41:36that's a good answer

00:41:37that's a good answer

00:41:38that's a good answer

00:41:39that's a good answer

00:41:40very nice

00:41:41because Jamie Foxx

00:41:43obviously you worked with

00:41:44Ben Tarantino

00:41:45in Django Unchained

00:41:46and I heard you in an interview

00:41:48talking about how

00:41:49he kind of changed you

00:41:50as an actor

00:41:51like he

00:41:52he was strict

00:41:53yeah he was uh

00:41:54he was amazing

00:41:56but uh

00:41:57I think where he was strict

00:41:59was is that in Django

00:42:00I was supposed to be a slave

00:42:03you know

00:42:04I was a slave

00:42:05I'm a slave

00:42:06in Django

00:42:07and uh

00:42:09but when I first got to uh

00:42:11to the set

00:42:12you know

00:42:13I'm not actually a slave

00:42:14so when I got to the set

00:42:16I'm Jamie Foxx

00:42:17reading the part of a slave

00:42:19so

00:42:20so I was

00:42:21I guess I was reading the part

00:42:22too cool

00:42:23or whatever

00:42:24you know

00:42:25I'm a slave

00:42:26what's happening with me

00:42:27I was too cool

00:42:32and he

00:42:33he ain't playing

00:42:34he pulled me in the room

00:42:36and says

00:42:37you know what

00:42:38I knew this was gonna happen

00:42:39I knew it

00:42:40I knew it

00:42:41I knew it

00:42:42I said what's wrong

00:42:43he said

00:42:44you're too cool bro

00:42:45you're a slave

00:42:46you're not some cool guy

00:42:48I said what you mean

00:42:50he said you come in

00:42:51with your Louie bag

00:42:52and your Range Rover

00:42:53that you drove here in

00:42:55and he says

00:42:56you're not gonna be able

00:42:57to do the character

00:42:58unless you let all of that go

00:43:00Oh boy

00:43:01and be the slave

00:43:03and I was like

00:43:04damn

00:43:05you know

00:43:06and he was right

00:43:07so the next day

00:43:08I came there

00:43:09uh

00:43:10and I didn't use a Range Rover

00:43:11I was in a covered wagon

00:43:12he was strict in the sense in order to get the movie where we needed to go we did have to strip those things away and then it made sense

00:43:25yeah

00:43:26yeah

00:43:27yeah

00:43:28yeah

00:43:29here's the thing

00:43:30Wicked

00:43:31which is not just a hit film

00:43:32it's become a sort of cultural obsession

00:43:34it seems like people are pouring over everything about it the movie the press tour

00:43:38oh no where are you going

00:43:39no you know you know you know what I'm gonna ask you about because I've heard you talk about this so holding space

00:43:56oh my god

00:43:58hold space

00:43:59so describe so describe what happened you and Cynthia you're in a press junket

00:44:03oh no

00:44:04yeah

00:44:05and what was the actual question or was it a question

00:44:09it's hard to say

00:44:10I don't really know what it was so oh my god I've never been asked to describe what happened

00:44:16so this wonderful woman Tracy was interviewing us and she's amazing and we love her so much

00:44:22she's a queen and she's so kind and she's an icon

00:44:25um but she said to Cynthia she said I saw online

00:44:32and forgive me if I don't quote it perfectly but um she said I saw online

00:44:36a lot of people are taking the lyrics of defying gravity

00:44:40keep going

00:44:43and really holding space with that

00:44:45okay

00:44:46and so you know for me I'm sitting next to Cynthia and I'm like holding space with that

00:44:51okay yeah and uh Cynthia goes

00:44:55Cynthia goes um I didn't know that was happening

00:44:59and I'm like wait what's happening wait

00:45:03so I kind of missed what I'm like what's happening at that point

00:45:06and um Tracy then responds and kind of doesn't know what Cynthia took it as it seemed like it seems like Tracy was like oh no I I mean I saw it a few times

00:45:17I've seen it a few times I mean I am in queer media

00:45:22and I'm like what the

00:45:24is any of this interaction what does it mean

00:45:28I didn't know what it means and I'm just trying to comfort Cynthia because she's very emotional

00:45:32and so I like um because we're very like uh physical touch we're very like you know that way

00:45:39and so I grab her finger because I because I see that she's getting like choked up by what Tracy has shared

00:45:47and I am like and I'm like oh shit and I grab her finger and I just go like this because I don't know what else to do with myself

00:45:53um was it like Morse code I don't know I don't know it was just like energy that I didn't know what to do with

00:46:01and it came out in that way because it was like well-intentioned and I wanted to be loving in there for her

00:46:05why this I don't know but has anyone explained it to you since no I still don't know what it meant

00:46:12I think you know it was just a beautiful way of saying that people identify with the lyrics and it brings them strength

00:46:17and you know of course that was what it meant but I it was just a really strange thing and I was grateful to see

00:46:23the reaction of the world when this clip came out because I was like oh great I'm not broken

00:46:31they felt weird too they felt so confused too that's great

00:46:37and I was like yeah I'm sorry I'm so weird

00:46:41and uh here's the thing uh Leo and Renee are now doing all the you know the big premieres

00:46:47the new Bridget Jones movie so what have you done you've done Paris and London

00:46:50yes last night yep are you enjoying them

00:46:53oh always yeah so much fun see there you go

00:46:56there you go hanging out with all your friends

00:46:58Leo have you done this class of thing before

00:47:01no

00:47:04the first one was Paris on Monday and it was uh the yeah my first ever one

00:47:09I'd never done the sort of autograph signing or anything like that

00:47:13and how did it go with the French people

00:47:16yeah they were very nice because I heard there was some confusion

00:47:19uh oh

00:47:20there was yes

00:47:21well there was

00:47:22that's what I heard

00:47:23come on

00:47:24there was a guy who had this big poster this big Bridget Jones poster

00:47:30yeah

00:47:31and he said this is for you and I said oh I went to sign it and

00:47:36and he said no this is for you and he pointed at Hugh Grant and I saw him and it clicked

00:47:53and it clicked

00:47:55H is in French

00:47:56he was really he was really hungry

00:47:59and uh Sterling and Anthony am I right that you know each other and have for a while

00:48:04we graduated from school same year he's a Juilliard guy I'm an NYU guy

00:48:08we both graduated

00:48:09we had big beef if you don't know what that means that's like uh who are the soccer teams

00:48:13like Tuttentum and Berkshire

00:48:15Tuttentum

00:48:16Tuttentum

00:48:17and they all call those soccer teams

00:48:19you talking about Tuttentum and Emelbin

00:48:21and over there Will Shire

00:48:23Will Shire and Tuttentum

00:48:25that's what it was like back then

00:48:27we met we had a softball game between uh our two schools or whatever

00:48:33and Mackie is very self confident likes to talk a lot of trash or whatnot

00:48:37I was 18

00:48:39he was 18

00:48:40and so I like to you know put him in his place from time to time

00:48:43we won we won

00:48:44did you?

00:48:45we won

00:48:46I don't remember it that way

00:48:47man you too old you don't remember it bro

00:48:49it wasn't like that

00:48:50I already don't believe you

00:48:51we won

00:48:52thank you very much

00:48:53we had a good time man

00:48:54we've known each other a while

00:48:55and it's been really interesting to just see people's careers go from like weird unknowns actors doing our thing

00:49:02and then you go out into the world and you get blessed to get working

00:49:05not everybody is still doing it 25 years later from the classes that we went to

00:49:09yeah

00:49:10so to be here to be with you right now is a blessing man it's a dream come true

00:49:14well it's a blessing for us it's something to have you here

00:49:20and uh Holly Willoughby

00:49:22normally everything you do is live

00:49:23yes

00:49:24is it nice to do something that's pre-recorded

00:49:26well I love live telly

00:49:28like live telly I have to say is my favourite but you don't really know what's going to happen

00:49:33and there are pitfalls and things do go wrong

00:49:37I mean I did this morning I think it's like 14 years

00:49:39and we had some amazing things that went perfectly right

00:49:43and then we had some things that went really horribly wrong

00:49:46and I remember there was this show that we had we had Meghan Trainor who was promoting her single all about the bass that big hit that she had

00:49:53oh yeah

00:49:55and on the same day it was really tragically sad Stephen Hawking passed away so the team were brilliant because what they were really reaction it was live telly so they pulled together this beautiful piece of footage and it was like really respectfully done and and then at the end of the show we decided that we'd dedicate the show to him so they have this lovely black and white picture of Stephen and the dates on there so we through to that dedicate this song to him and this is where live telly can be dangerous

00:50:21because the sound guy pushed the wrong button and played Meghan Trainor's all about the bass over the top on this picture of Stephen and there was nothing we could do because it was the end of the show but I kind of hope he would have liked it

00:50:39it's what he would have wanted

00:50:41it's what he would have wanted

00:50:43it's what he would have wanted I mean I did I did I was I was very lucky enough to meet him one time and I think you were there and we went to a party and we did shots

00:50:51yes we did shots with him so he was quite wild

00:50:55yeah he's a right goer

00:50:57I'm telling you

00:50:59so I feel like he would have quite liked that

00:51:01yeah that was sort of yeah he'd have liked him down as a shots guy

00:51:05how did you forget you did shots and Stephen and Alan it seems unlikely but you've got a sort of personal connection with Elton John yes yes he stole my look no

00:51:23no no no he um when you're at Watford my dad Graham Carr up the cobblers sold you

00:51:36playing for Northampton

00:51:37yes he sold you Richard Hill

00:51:39yes and um I did a charity event and you were headlining and I did some stand-up and then you at the end said come on everyone get up there we're all dancing around at the Royal Albert Hall while you're singing

00:51:49and I'm I started my career I didn't even know that Elton John knew I existed so he's sitting there going Saturday Saturday how's your dad

00:52:02and I was just

00:52:04I said what

00:52:06only because his dad was cute

00:52:10oh your life could have been so different Alan

00:52:16I know I know

00:52:21Gracie you know Sean so perhaps you know that he was also very nearly a pop star

00:52:26oh she doesn't know that

00:52:27does she not?

00:52:28by the way nobody knows that

00:52:29oh do you not know?

00:52:30no it's not

00:52:31it's not a secret like the playing thing

00:52:32it's terrible

00:52:33it's the noential challenge man

00:52:35it's the noential challenge man

00:52:36I know but I also backstage I was watching and I didn't get to see your show but you're obviously such an unbelievable artist and pianist

00:52:43and I was like how am I supposed to like go up there and be like la la la

00:52:47you're funny

00:52:48no no no

00:52:49but what's your pop career?

00:52:50it was I was in college I was in a band called Sounds From The Stairs

00:52:57what's so funny?

00:53:00there's nothing sexy about and your keyboard player can attest to this like it's it's one of the most unsexy kind of instruments because I have to stand up and demonstrate

00:53:10yes please

00:53:11because like you know you're jumping around and you're like and the second you have to hit a chord you have to like stop because you have to hit the right notes

00:53:18and then once you hit them then you can kind of jump around again and you have to stop so it's kind of a really

00:53:24now you say that Sean

00:53:25yeah yeah yeah

00:53:26we have a clip

00:53:27it's a kind of a it's a grainy clip it's a grainy clip of Sean Hayes and you were finding the time to dance around

00:53:34yeah yeah

00:53:35to the point where focus on the lead singer and how much he's enjoying Sean's performance

00:53:39yeah this is something else this is something else

00:53:41so this is Sounds From The Stairs

00:53:43we were we tried new wave just long enough for people to want the old wave

00:53:47here it comes so there's there's Sean back there

00:53:51now that's a grainy clip but now he's off he's off

00:53:53he's off

00:53:54he's off

00:53:55come on

00:53:56oh my god

00:53:58there he is he there he goes there he goes there he goes oh yeah

00:54:05that was great

00:54:10that was great

00:54:11it could have been such a different vibe

00:54:12bring the vibe

00:54:13bring the vibe

00:54:14yeah

00:54:15yeah

00:54:16I'm jealous

00:54:17yeah

00:54:18wow

00:54:19we were uh right in the intersection of electro pop and electro shock

00:54:24something like that

00:54:25never been a shy boy have you

00:54:27clearly

00:54:28that that was something else

00:54:30and actually because you and you've worked with amazing directors over the years

00:54:33but even something like George Lucas

00:54:35there's a story about he was working with a young actor a co-star of you on Star Wars

00:54:40and he couldn't get what he wanted from the young actor

00:54:42yes

00:54:43do you know the story I'm talking about

00:54:44I do I do I do I do

00:54:45yeah

00:54:46um

00:54:47yeah

00:54:48I can't remember the young actor's name though

00:54:49Daniel Logan

00:54:50thank god you're here

00:54:52um

00:54:53can I just say I'm amazed that was written down

00:54:56cause I was thinking oh f**k I don't know it either

00:54:59it was it was a scene where it's um no here we are with Star Wars facts like who was Daniel Logan playing he was the son of

00:55:09I think he becomes Boba Fett, I think.

00:55:14Yes, he does.

00:55:15Yes, he does.

00:55:16It's in episode two.

00:55:18OK, so there's a moment.

00:55:19He comes to my...

00:55:20I've got to go to their apartment.

00:55:21His dad...

00:55:22I'm chasing his dad.

00:55:23I can't remember why.

00:55:24And his dad's got one of those...

00:55:26He's, like, one of those...

00:55:27Oh, yes.

00:55:28Helmety people, you know.

00:55:31So, anyway, George was asking him to...

00:55:33Basically, he wanted him to be suspicious of me.

00:55:35The door opens and I'm standing there,

00:55:37and he had to be, like, suspicious of me a bit.

00:55:39And George wasn't...

00:55:41He wasn't making himself clear.

00:55:43And poor Daniel, who was only a kid at the time,

00:55:45just was...

00:55:46He was just trying all the wrong things and it was...

00:55:48So I just took him aside and I said,

00:55:50look, when the door opens,

00:55:51just imagine that you smell like I've done a terrible fart.

00:55:56LAUGHTER

00:55:57And he looked at me and he went, what?

00:55:58And I said, just try it.

00:55:59So I opened the door and he went...

00:56:01LAUGHTER

00:56:03And that's when they...

00:56:04That's the scene in there!

00:56:06LAUGHTER

00:56:07There you go.

00:56:08Have you got it?

00:56:09There you go.

00:56:10LAUGHTER

00:56:14It worked, it worked, it worked.

00:56:16I've always been directed by the kids.

00:56:21Like, I had one kid that I was working with one time

00:56:23that was like,

00:56:24are you gonna do it like that?

00:56:25And I was like,

00:56:26oh, I think so?

00:56:28Should I not?

00:56:29And they're like, well, maybe you should, you know,

00:56:31not be so serious.

00:56:32I was like, oh, OK.

00:56:33LAUGHTER

00:56:34There are no filters, no.

00:56:35Because, Chris, you do directing now

00:56:37and I heard you talk about how you love giving notes

00:56:41to the background artists.

00:56:43Oh, yeah.

00:56:44Like the people in the crowd scenes and things.

00:56:45You know, particularly when you're trying to drum up

00:56:47some kind of an atmosphere,

00:56:48there was actually a moment in the latest thing

00:56:49where Paddy Considine reveals this piece of information

00:56:52about himself and it kind of changes how his reputation

00:56:56is observed by all of these locals.

00:56:59And so I was saying like,

00:57:00all right, guys,

00:57:01when he does, when he tells you all this stuff,

00:57:02you know,

00:57:03I need you to kind of,

00:57:04you're not gonna love him as much anymore.

00:57:05You know,

00:57:06it's kind of like,

00:57:07as he's kind of walking away,

00:57:08you know,

00:57:09and they were like,

00:57:10yeah, gotcha, boss, gotcha.

00:57:11And so,

00:57:12then we start,

00:57:13OK, and rolling.

00:57:14Wanker!

00:57:15LAUGHTER

00:57:17Boo!

00:57:18No, no,

00:57:20let's bring it down.

00:57:21We'll go back down to water.

00:57:22LAUGHTER

00:57:26Talking of background artists,

00:57:28Naomi, you must know this,

00:57:30that still that went everywhere from Skyfall,

00:57:33do you know the one I'm meaning?

00:57:34Yes.

00:57:35Where you are giving your all,

00:57:37and there's a background artist who walked by...

00:57:39This is in the film, so...

00:57:41I know.

00:57:42OK, this lady is just...

00:57:44She...

00:57:45LAUGHTER

00:57:46People...

00:57:47People just love this woman.

00:57:49LAUGHTER

00:57:51I don't know where to go back to her life,

00:57:53but people love her so much,

00:57:55they started putting her in other films.

00:57:58No way!

00:57:59So, there's one from Star Wars,

00:58:01where she's just hanging out in Star Wars.

00:58:03LAUGHTER

00:58:04LAUGHTER

00:58:05But there's a very good one for...

00:58:07I almost didn't see her in the Avengers one.

00:58:10LAUGHTER

00:58:11She really blends in.

00:58:13She really blends in.

00:58:15LAUGHTER

00:58:16But this one's my favourite.

00:58:18In Back in the Future.

00:58:20LAUGHTER

00:58:21APPLAUSE

00:58:22Very good.

00:58:23OK, listen, that is all we've got time for.

00:58:25Can I talk about your porno show?

00:58:27LAUGHTER

00:58:28LAUGHTER

00:58:29Of course you can, Cher.

00:58:31Because I always mention it.

00:58:33It is a Graham Norton show tradition

00:58:35that Cher comes on and claims I did a porno show.

00:58:38LAUGHTER

00:58:39OK, it's not a porno show, but it's...

00:58:41What was it?

00:58:42It was a filthy Mr and Mrs show

00:58:44in the middle of the night.

00:58:45OK.

00:58:46On ITV.

00:58:47And it was called?

00:58:48It was called Carnal Knowledge.

00:58:49OK.

00:58:50And it was watched by one person

00:58:51and that one person had to be Cher.

00:58:53LAUGHTER

00:58:54Well, I watched it...

00:58:55Was it every night?

00:58:56No, it was on every night,

00:58:58but it was only supposed to be on once a week.

00:58:59OK.

00:59:00But it seemed like every night.

00:59:01Yeah.

00:59:02And all I kept...

00:59:03But all I kept thinking was,

00:59:04this guy's a star

00:59:05and he shouldn't be on this shitty show.

00:59:07LAUGHTER

00:59:09APPLAUSE

00:59:11And then, you tap-danced with Father Ted.

00:59:17Yes, I did.

00:59:18Yes, I did.

00:59:19In a caravan.

00:59:20In a caravan.

00:59:21Yes, well done.

00:59:22I think...

00:59:25Graham, the memoir, part one.

00:59:27LAUGHTER

00:59:28Written by Cher.

00:59:30LAUGHTER

00:59:32MUSIC PLAYS

00:59:49APPLAUSE

00:59:53MUSIC PLAYS

00:59:59MUSIC FADES

01:00:03ハ

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