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Warren's Vortex (2025) Season 1 Episode 4
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00:00Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex, Warren and Lucy discover twisted
00:07versions of their own world, always hoping the next one will be home.
00:22Boss, what are you doing in the dark, man?
00:25Hey, Hika!
00:55It's like the lights are on, but no one's home.
00:56Huh.
00:57They're not all that different, to be honest.
00:58Is she wearing nappies?
01:00That's not the strangest thing I've seen Auntie Laura wear.
01:01Ugh.
01:02I think she needs to be changed.
01:03Whoa, they've got them too.
01:04Okay, we should go find Mum.
01:05She wouldn't be dumb enough to get taken over by home mobile.
01:06Dad?
01:07Dad!
01:08I'm sorry, I just turned out there for a second.
01:09What did you say?
01:10Okay, don't look at the phone.
01:11I think they take over your brain.
01:12Oh, oh.
01:13Oh, oh.
01:14Oh, oh.
01:15Oh, oh.
01:16Oh, oh.
01:17Oh, oh.
01:18Oh, oh.
01:19Oh, oh.
01:20Oh, oh.
01:21Oh, oh.
01:22Oh, oh.
01:23Oh, oh.
01:24Oh, oh.
01:25Oh, oh.
01:26Oh, oh.
01:27Oh, oh.
01:28Oh, oh.
01:29Oh, oh.
01:30Oh, oh.
01:31Oh, oh.
01:32Oh, oh.
01:33I think they take over your brain.
01:34Oh, oh.
01:35And how many times have I said that to you?
01:37Huh?
01:38Irony much?
01:39Yeah, I think we should go and find your mum.
01:42Dad.
01:43Dad!
01:44Snap!
01:45Ah!
01:46Let's go find Mum.
01:47I was about to say that to you.
01:52Any more?
01:53Babe?
01:54Holy hecka.
01:58Oh.
01:59Whoa.
02:00I haven't seen the house.
02:01That's probably since your mother went to the Gold Coast to visit her sister.
02:04Yeah.
02:05Why did everything get so untidy while she was gone?
02:07Pff.
02:08Complete mystery to me.
02:09Oh.
02:10Oh.
02:11Ah, you see?
02:12I warned your mother about texting and driving.
02:16Far out, man.
02:17People are so engrossed in their mobile phones, when they're really supposed to be focusing
02:20on what they're doing.
02:21Oh, two bucks!
02:22Oh.
02:23Oh.
02:24Oh, come on, my darling.
02:25Oh.
02:26Oh, come on, my darling.
02:27Oh, come on.
02:28Oh, come on.
02:29Oh, come on.
02:30Oh, come on.
02:31Oh, come on.
02:32Oh, come on.
02:33Oh, come on.
02:34Oh, come on, my darling.
02:35Oh, come on.
02:36Oh, come on.
02:37Oh, they're everywhere.
02:40Let's get her inside.
02:47Oh, I've got my...
02:48Oh.
02:49Ah, leaving me's all good.
02:52So, they're all playing some sort of farming game called Farmy Farm.
02:56I think it's what turned them all into mobile phone zombies.
02:59It's quite hard to say, actually, mobile phone zombies.
03:02Like, oh, no, look out, it's the mobile phone zombies.
03:04Oh, what about...
03:06...mombies?
03:07Mombies?
03:08Like it, fist bump.
03:10Oh.
03:11Okay, so maybe if we wake up with the mombies, the vortex will open.
03:14Mm-hmm.
03:16Henemoa!
03:17Wake up!
03:18Stop being a mombie!
03:21Nah.
03:22I know what'll wake her up.
03:24Oh, honey.
03:25Check it out.
03:27So get out.
03:28Look at what I'm doing.
03:30I'm drinking milk straight out of the carton.
03:32Mmm.
03:35That milk has expired.
03:37Uh, note to dad.
03:38Maybe don't drink milk in other dimensions.
03:42Hey.
03:43So get out, hun.
03:44I'm gonna pour cutlery in the wrong way out.
03:49See how crusty that plate is?
03:50So crusty.
03:51I'm not even gonna rinse it.
03:56Oh.
03:59Ugh!
04:00That brace really holds that phone in there.
04:03Oh, and those nappies are so gross.
04:06Okay.
04:08I'm gonna pinch charming this.
04:14Time to wake up sleeping beauty.
04:16Your mother's breath smells like portaloos at a three-day music festival.
04:24Well, um, I guess oral hygiene's not really a priority in this universe.
04:28Mm-hmm.
04:31If only there was someone left who could tell us what's going on.
04:34Someone who doesn't own a mobile phone.
04:36What kind of sad, bitter, anti-social loser doesn't have a mobile phone?
04:40Uh, even Mrs. S, she was always going on about having phones with the devil's Lego.
04:54Okay.
04:55She's not wearing one of those weird arm braces, so maybe we're good.
04:59Okay.
05:00Oh, sorry.
05:01Oi!
05:15What are you two heathens doing in my house?
05:19Get out!
05:20Now!
05:22It worked!
05:23A thousand and one uses of these things.
05:28Oh!
05:30Oh my god, I think she's dead.
05:35A thousand and two?
05:36Dead!
05:37I'll call an ambulance.
05:38No, no, no, don't touch the phone!
05:39No!
05:40Aroha mai, Mrs. S.
05:43Okay.
05:44Who else wouldn't have a phone?
05:46Dogs.
05:49Yeah, because dogs would really help us in this situation.
05:54Crazy conspiracy theorist?
05:55Got rid of his phone because he thought Vladimir Putin was watching him on the toilet?
05:58Darren.
05:59Darren.
06:00We'll give him a call right now.
06:01Oh yeah, fine.
06:02Yeah, sorry.
06:03We'll just, we'll just go there.
06:07This reality gives me the creeps.
06:10Yeah.
06:11I don't think it's that much different from our reality, to be honest, honey.
06:16Even with the nappies.
06:17Hey.
06:18That's Phil.
06:19Phil!
06:20Whoa.
06:21Hey.
06:22Hey Phil.
06:23Hey pal.
06:24What are you doing?
06:25Uh, nothing honey.
06:26I was just seeing if he'll snap out of it.
06:27That's all.
06:28Why don't you try Prince Charmingham?
06:29Maybe I will.
06:30Yeah.
06:31Not so tough now are you Phil?
06:32With your annoying swagger and your condescending tone.
06:33And you know what?
06:34No one cares that your barbecue is bigger than mine.
06:35No one.
06:36Are you finished?
06:37Nah.
06:38Not quite.
06:39Because there's something special for you man.
06:40Check this out.
06:41Stanky Stanky Stanky.
06:42Hey.
06:43Hey Phil.
06:44Hey.
06:45Hey Phil.
06:46Hey pal.
06:47What are you doing?
06:48Uh, nothing honey.
06:49I was just seeing if he'll snap out of it.
06:50That's all.
06:51Why don't you try Prince Charmingham?
06:52No one cares that your barbecue is bigger than mine.
06:55No one.
06:56Hey, are you finished?
06:57Nah.
06:58Not quite.
06:59Because there's something special for you man.
07:01Check this out.
07:02Stanky Steeves.
07:03Over 10 million skofel bunny.
07:06That's going to be fun when you wake up.
07:08Yeah.
07:09There you go.
07:11Real mature dad.
07:13Real mature.
07:14Get on my darling.
07:17You know what?
07:18Yeah.
07:19Okay dad.
07:20Get.
07:21Hurry up.
07:22I'm coming.
07:25Subscribe.
07:30We all are funny farm.
07:31But tired of having to put down your phone?
07:32Well now you can play funny farm 24-7 with the all new arm clap.
07:35Funny farm.
07:36Putting the fun into funny.
07:38Watch out.
07:39He'll be in the shed.
07:45Holy hecka.
07:47What the fu-
07:48No fu-
07:49Geez!
07:50Uncle Darren?
07:51Oh.
07:52You guys.
07:53Oh I thought you'd been kidnapped by hackers working for North Korea.
07:56Haha.
07:57You haven't have you?
07:58Uh, I don't think so.
08:00Bro what's with the tin man costume?
08:02Okay Uncle Don and Kebab.
08:03Look.
08:04We need to know what's going on.
08:06I can't believe I'm saying this but...
08:09We want to heal conspiracy theories.
08:14So it's my time to shine.
08:17So I have got three theories.
08:20We were kinda hoping you'd have one really good one.
08:23First.
08:24The mobile phones contain mind control chips and the governments use them to subjugate us.
08:28Nice word. What else?
08:29Second.
08:30Phones are ancient alien tech.
08:31The aliens want to come back and control us.
08:33Hence the addiction.
08:34Okay that's a little Stargate meets Transformers.
08:37Got anything that's not already a movie?
08:39You're gonna love this Warren.
08:41What if the Māori god of horticulture got bored of gardening?
08:45Okay.
08:46And decided to become the god of technology.
08:48And he's using phones to take over Aotearoa.
08:51Aotearoa.
08:54So when you said you're gonna love this Warren, did you mean because I'm Māori?
09:02Maybe the first one, eh?
09:03Yeah, yeah.
09:04I think.
09:05Also, what's with the weird pants with the tubes on them?
09:07Oh, they're called eco-cycle pants.
09:10So they take your body waste, they turn into nutrients and then they pump it back into your body.
09:14Ooh, like poo catchers.
09:16Yeah, exactly.
09:17It allows them to play the game 24-7.
09:19They actually all got them off Teemu.
09:20Yeah, I really like to play those games on the toilet, eh?
09:26More of the aids in the...
09:30Yeah.
09:31Anyway, this game Funny Farm came out and everyone was immediately hooked.
09:35But then the game started offering incentives to recruit new players.
09:39Okay, so hit a billion points and you can level up to become a recruiter.
09:44Okay, now these recruiters are actually quite dangerous because they can run around and force you to play the game.
09:49But don't worry.
09:50I mean, you have to hit a billion points to become a recruiter.
09:53Okay, and actually the chances of running into one are super slim because everybody's been recruited.
10:00Apart from me.
10:01And you guys.
10:03I'm just feeling a bit stuffy in here so I'll just open this door.
10:06Sorry.
10:07Ah!
10:08Ah!
10:10Ah!
10:11Ah!
10:12Ah!
10:13Ah!
10:14Ah.
10:14Ah!
10:15Dad!
10:15No!
10:16No!
10:16No!
10:17No!
10:18No!
10:19No!
10:20Dad!
10:21Dad!
10:22We've done a reward.
10:23Dad!
10:24Hi guys, what?
10:25They must have sent you guys.
10:26Okay, we have to get out of here.
10:27This place isn't safe.
10:28Can't we just, um, close our eyes and just push through them?
10:31No, no, no, no.
10:33It's not just seeing the screen that enslaves you.
10:37But I think I've got a way for us to get out of here.
10:45Oh!
10:55Okay.
10:56Now I know what a garlic bread feels like.
11:00Oh, get off! I don't like subscribing!
11:02Dad, help!
11:03Lucy!
11:06Dad!
11:09Honey, why don't you keep your tinfoil on?
11:11I don't want you to see what I'm about to do.
11:14Hey, Mombees.
11:15You're about to get unsubscribed.
11:16Aaaaaaah!
11:25You've all been disconnected.
11:34Hey, I think I know that nun.
11:35Yeah, she's teaching me at school.
11:37Oh.
11:38Autohomysis.
11:39Oh, no, that's okay.
11:40She was really mean.
11:41Yeah, she looks mean.
11:42Okay, we should go back to our place.
11:44Let's go.
11:54Okay, everybody's reaching a billion points faster than I thought.
11:57Okay, let's barricade all the doors.
11:58I'll take the rest of the house.
12:00Did you know that, on average, 80% of normal domestic couches are covered in human skin, dried saliva and wet fecal matter?
12:11Why would you tell me this?
12:12Any recruiters outside?
12:14Okay, let's start with the side door first.
12:17That way nothing can get in.
12:19We're out.
12:20Bro, again.
12:21Why?
12:22Hang on.
12:24Where's her no more?
12:25Oh no, nothing.
12:26Enough.
12:27Just knocked the phone out of her hand.
12:39We tried that with Mrs. Ess and she died!
12:40No.
12:41No.
12:43My little girl's a momby.
12:46I'm sorry honey, I protected you from evil refrigerators and robot real estate agents
12:53and after all that I couldn't even protect you from a stupid mobile phone.
12:57A bit more?
13:12Okay, we're safe. Anyone never comes in here. She reckons it gives her anxiety.
13:17Yeah, I don't think I've ever been in this room.
13:19Ah yeah, this is basically where we keep all the stuff that we never use. It's our stuff room.
13:25Hey, I gave you that selfie stick for your birthday.
13:28Ah, stuff and some really precious, meaningful things that we use all the time.
13:37It's still gift wrapped.
13:42Hey, that's the swindles that I gave you for Christmas!
13:45I can't believe this!
13:46No, no, no, not my guitar.
13:55No!
13:56No!
13:57I can't do it! I can't!
13:58I can't do this to such a beautiful instrument.
14:00This guitar was built for sweet melodies, not for violence.
14:03I don't think this is the time for tunes, Warren!
14:06This is Nemo's favourite.
14:07Ahore wa hine, rite ki ahine moa, tai ana tanahi ahi a kite mutunga e hinawa e hikae.
14:26Warren!
14:27E te tau?
14:28You're you again!
14:32Dad?
14:33Mum!
14:39Your song.
14:41It slipped me out of it.
14:43Normally you'll sing like first season of Glee Level cringe, but this time it kinda worked.
14:49Harmonic disruption.
14:50Yes!
14:51A classic Māori three chord strum must disrupt the brain and sever the link to the phone.
14:56Dad, you found the cure!
14:57You know like my uncle Te Waiarangi always says, if a guitar can't fix it, you're not playing it loud enough.
15:03Dad, if we weaponise your cringe, we could sort this whole Monbi mess.
15:07I won't.
15:09Let's give it a bash then.
15:10Let's give it a bash then.
15:11A tahirua, a tahirua toruwa.
15:14Pā mai e tore o aroha.
15:18Ruita ha ki te pa.
15:21Oro toruwa.
15:24E ngaiwi, e ngaiwi a te aroa.
15:29Haere mai, haere mai, haere mai.
15:36Haere mai.
15:38Warren!
15:39Lucy!
15:41Wazza!
15:43I haven't seen you for ages!
15:47How are you, bro?
15:49Oh, I hate to put my head.
15:53Why am I so sloshy?
15:55What is that smell?
15:57And where the hell have you two been?
15:59I'll explain later.
16:00Right now, it's time for morioki.
16:02You can't do that all by yourself, Dad.
16:04Don't worry.
16:06I'm bringing in the big guns.
16:10Hey, kia ora, auntie.
16:12Oh, Warren!
16:13It's been ages.
16:14Up to.
16:16Is that us, auntie?
16:17Wyatt is on.
16:18Wyatt is on.
16:19Ka pai.
16:20The boys home?
16:21Boys home.
16:22Maragamai.
16:23Maragamai.
16:24Maragamai.
16:25Maragamai.
16:26Mejima.
16:27Maragamai.
16:28Missou.
16:29Maragamai.
16:30Manara.
16:32Maagamai.
16:33Maagamai.
16:34Maragamai.
16:35Maragamai.
16:37Maragamai.
16:38Maagamai.
16:39I am Hangarou Tiki-Tiki, the Moori God of Technology, and in my realm, there will be no singing.
17:03There is now. I was once the god of horticulture, but you stupid mortals had no respect for my realm, so I decided to change.
17:23Ah, you were Homie Tiki-Tiki.
17:25Don't even say that name. My name is Hangarou.
17:29Hey, what did you enslave everybody? Not cool, bro.
17:32I can do what I like. Now you will suffer my wrath.
17:37Oh, yeah? Looks like we have to settle this old-school way.
17:47Okay, okay, whoa. No need for a full-on Huckaboo. Just, uh, give me a second.
17:53Nasa- יותר times, you won't evenot missus, you lost yourself, you lost your conscience.
18:02Fantastic, well done, Otaku, slowly.
18:12So you're not even an atua at all, are you?
18:22Nah, nah, nah, nah.
18:23Cool, cool, cool.
18:24So what's with the gigantic floating head?
18:27Oh, you know, I kind of just got bored one day.
18:31I didn't know everyone was going to get addicted to my game, so...
18:33Your game?
18:34Yeah, whanifam.
18:36I made it.
18:37You know, I used to study horti culture,
18:39but, you know, it turns out the pollen from the grass would give me a rash on my...
18:44Eh?
18:45See, I switched over to computer studies, you know, made a game,
18:49and, you know, next thing I'm like a billionaire,
18:52and none of them is getting addicted to my game and turning into these zombies.
18:57I don't know how to fix this, so I kind of just...
18:59Built a giant head and flew around in it, pretending to be an atua?
19:03Yeah, pretty much, eh?
19:05Yeah, you know, us billionaires always doing some crazy shit.
19:07You have to make this right.
19:08Hey, okay, chill, chill, sis.
19:11Now that I know that your song's the answer,
19:13all I've got to do is connect to every phone in the world and broadcast it.
19:17Sweet, that's your...
19:18Okay, we'll go out to tahitata.
19:20Hello.
19:21Look.
19:55Give it up. Nice.
19:57Flicker, bro. Enjoy that, my bro.
20:01Oh, hey, Phil. You all good?
20:03Hey.
20:05Thought I'd come and check on everyone.
20:07There's been some weird goings on since the wake-up, eh?
20:10Like what?
20:11Anyone else got a real burny mouth, like super burny?
20:15Feels like mine's on fire.
20:17I've got, like, sore guts.
20:19It's coming out of me like iced tea, man.
20:21I thought I was red raw.
20:23Pulled my cheeks apart in the mirror.
20:24It looked like a sliced cap's coming.
20:2624-7, I'm paintballing my shorts.
20:28My lips are like this.
20:30Ah, you want to join us for a feed, Phil?
20:33There's plenty of kai to go around.
20:35Oh, thanks, man. That's kind of you.
20:37Oh, I see you've gone with the standard bacon.
20:40I, myself, usually get the honey-cured bacon at Saskia's.
20:45It's a little bit more expensive, but, um...
20:47Yeah, all good. All good.
20:49Yeah, I just say to myself,
20:51oh, you're worth it, Phil.
20:53How about some saucer there, Phil?
20:56Oh.
20:57Yep, okay.
20:58Well, I guess all's well that ends well.
21:01Hey, babe.
21:02Uh, Warren, are there something I need to talk to you about?
21:08Oh, okay.
21:09Uh, actually, that, um, something we need to talk to you about.
21:18Oh.
21:19Oh.
21:20Oh, wow.
21:21You don't muck around, do you, myself?
21:23What?
21:24We waited officially till you were declared dead before we got married.
21:27Yeah, out of, out of respect.
21:29I guess I should have seen the signs, eh?
21:37Congratulations to you both.
21:39I'm glad you found happiness in each other.
21:41Really?
21:42Yeah.
21:43Hey, Lucy.
21:44Yeah.
21:45Congratulations, Mum.
21:47And you too, Uncle Murray.
21:49Oh.
21:50Dad number two.
21:51Yeah, that's not happening.
21:52Dad two?
21:53Don't push it.
21:57Hey, uh, we're just gonna go grab something from the tool shed.
22:06Love you, sir.
22:10Dad number two?
22:11Oh, no, it just came to me.
22:13I know I should be ho-ha, but I'm, I'm just happy and they're happy, you know?
22:28You're not angry because that isn't your hine.
22:33Do you think my hine will wait for me?
22:35Yeah, she's waiting.
22:37Cause the best duets always need both voices.
22:42Coming up next on the Cheesy Cheese channel, the best duets always need both voices.
22:50Shut up!
22:51Let's go.
22:52Were you actually being serious?
22:54Yeah, no.
22:55Aw.
22:56Did I run an emotional moment for you?
22:57I don't want to say something nice to you anymore.
22:59Aw.
23:00In the best duets though, we need both voices.
23:06Ugh!
23:09Oh, great.
23:10This definitely isn't home.
23:12These definitely aren't our clothes.
23:15We've been undressed and redressed without our consent.
23:17Who?
23:18How is that even possible?
23:19Different undies.
23:20These ones look like an action gusset.
23:22Dad, I don't think testing out your undies is the reason the Vortex bought us here.
23:26It's Mrs. Schrodinger.
23:27Why does she keep dying?
23:28This is like the fifth time.
23:29We've landed in some corny murder mystery cosplay.
23:30Oh, Inspector, thank God you're here.
23:31What's happened?
23:32Dad, I think the Vortex wants us to solve a murder.
23:33The Vortex won't let us leave until we find who the real killer is.
23:34Keep Inspector Doyle.
23:35Keep Inspector Doyle.
23:36It's got linear.
23:37You're my boss.
23:38The murderer has to be someone in this room.
23:39The murderer has to be someone in this room.
23:40The murderer has to be someone in this room.
23:44The Vortex has to be someone in this room.
23:45The Vortex won't let us leave until we find who the real killer is.
23:49Keep Inspector Doyle.
23:50Keep Inspector Doyle.
23:51It's got linear.
23:52You're my boss.
23:53The murderer has to be someone in this room.
23:57The murderer has to be someone in this room.
23:58The murderer has to be someone in this room.
23:59The murderer has to be someone in this room.
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