- 4 weeks ago
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00:00you're right I'm so tired for what Kelly it was like having two Sabrinas all day yesterday that
00:17should give you energy I need a nap we don't have time for a nap we've got a game plan we got this
00:23call from Andrew because Kelly keeps the house too clean we just need to make that house like a real
00:28mess oh I can't do that but you're right the fact that she doesn't want the house to look like there
00:34are kids there I want that to change yeah I'd love for her to be able to take on a little bit more of
00:39Andrew's viewpoint I love that I do just take it down like a little notch so they can enjoy life
00:44together all right let's take a look at what's going on in there hey baby what you doing um just
00:51picking up I'm gonna take the kids to the playground want to come um I just want to pick up this room
00:57and get all back in the guest room and just get everything out of this space that's a toy okay
01:03how much longer is it gonna take um I don't know 15 minutes like don't wait for me bye
01:09he wanted to spend time with the kids that's exactly why he's called us well who else is
01:15gonna clean maybe there's a bit of learned helplessness on Andrew's side too because
01:19he knows she's gonna do all the work what Andrew doesn't realize is that by not offering to help
01:24Kelly keep the home neat and tidy this creating a cycle where she feels like she has no choice but
01:28to do it all and then inherently she doesn't feel like she has the option of being able to take time
01:32to spend with him and the kids which is the one thing that he wants I just need you guys to play for
01:37a little bit quietly I'm gonna do a couple emails and then when I have my work call
01:41how many emails maybe 10 emails how does she do any work in this office I'm gonna have a work call
01:51and then when I have my call I need you guys to go play downstairs come on this is dumb she needs a
01:59lock on that door that's a lot to manage yeah because she's the one that wants to be tiny she wants
02:05everything to be under control she's doing all the managing and she has to sort of play the like
02:10you know the house manager yeah and I think she wants to be the fun mom too if we give Kelly
02:16permission to let go do you think she'll take it I don't know I hope so I guess we'll see
02:35what do you think Kelly's doing right now I think she's probably cleaning the truth is a lot of
02:42people who need to control their environment and how it looks feel like other things are out of their
02:46control and studies have shown that people actually turn to these repetitive behaviors
02:53like cleaning as a way of maintaining that feeling of constant control did you spend any time last night
02:58cleaning at all yes that's why it's so important to slowly implement change that eases you into adopting
03:04these new behaviors and letting go as much as a clean house makes me feel relaxed the pressure to
03:10get to that it's a lot and I'm sure you feel the same way definitely I want to get to a place where
03:16I care less about a lot of those things I love that yeah I just don't know how to get there what we
03:22want to do is give you some different perfection zones areas of the house where you need them to be
03:27perfect and then we figure out ways where we give you permission to be a little bit messy within those zones
03:32this method is called baby steps whether you're on the cleaner side of things or the messier side of
03:41things it can be really hard to step outside of your comfort zone especially when you've had the same
03:45habits for years and although it's pretty easy to just tell somebody to chill out yeah I think we've had
03:50that conversation a few times it's a lot better to just ease somebody into a new habit otherwise if it's too big of a change you get overwhelmed and you just give up
03:59so if you're like me or Kelly who are on the neater side you can start implementing small medium and
04:05large perfection zones where you start to introduce a little bit of a mess whether it's a smaller zone
04:09like misaligned bowls in the cupboard or a larger zone like leaving a bit of a mess in your primary
04:15bedroom and if you're on the messier side of the spectrum you can create imperfection zones in areas
04:19that need to be tidier so your smaller zone could be making sure the bowls are always stacked properly I
04:25think you missed one good
04:31better first impressions a little scared all we're trying to do is bring you a few tiny little baby steps closer towards the
04:43middle so we want to identify your perfection zone we'll do it in three steps too so is there something small around the house that can drive you crazy if it's not where it should be
04:53right this room is a big one I need to have the pillows perfectly in the corners so like if this was
04:59like that would drive you crazy yes yeah oh that's too far
05:05now that crossed a line it crossed a line it's hard to change long habits old habits so I'm a little worried
05:14about it but knowing that I only have to take it one baby step at a time feels manageable
05:20so maybe one of the baby steps for this particular zone is at the end of the night one of the pillows
05:28is a skew before you go to bed just let it be just see try it on I can try
05:34just try because I'm sure he'd rather you come up to bed sooner
05:38right
05:40you're welcome
05:42I mean you know I'm not too old of a dog I might be able to learn some new tricks so I'm willing to be tested a little bit
05:49okay so if this is the small what would you say is medium probably like the dining room area okay
05:55can we go in probably next yep okay let's walk through that I hope that Kelly can realize our whole method
06:01is about not being perfect if we give you a method and you fail at it that's okay that's fine so if
06:06you're not perfect at being imperfect that's okay too
06:12what drives you crazy in this space pretty much anytime the kids bring out their toys because it's
06:18like our hang area walk area I want it back in the playroom even in my house where I like to have
06:23everything polished Olivia has toys in the living room I just have like huge baskets on each side of
06:29the sofa so she could throw things in listen a basket in the room sounds like a good card
06:35compromise can I test your limits sure okay let's do this can we also be with the toys or
06:42yes of course what do you want to get the great thing about baskets and bins is that they are low
06:47maintenance storage options there's no lids so there's no psychological impediment there's no
06:52reason to not just chuck stuff in there especially if you're a kid and they're decorative so it's not
06:57much of an eyesore for somebody as particular as Kelly where are you gonna put those let's say the
07:03the night's done kids just played with this stuff gonna go upstairs I mean can I just put it back in
07:09the bin but believe the bin in the room yes okay yes yeah leaving the toys out in this room over
07:15night will definitely be a challenge it sounds like a good compromise I'm okay with leaving the bins out
07:21for sure so if the pillows were small the toys in the living room is medium what would be large
07:27probably the upstairs playroom okay and that's where the girls are now yes can we go say hi sure okay
07:33hey Kelly's large perfection zone is the toy room and I would love to be able to turn this perfection zone
07:42into a chill imperfection zone
07:48hello girls hi this is Sabrina hi this is Janet you guys are so cute what are you guys working on are you
08:00doing the books sweetie yeah where do the books go I don't know so this is the kind of mess that sort
08:10of drives you crazy yeah and then I try and get to my desk so I have to clean it up first and oftentimes
08:16it's even bigger than this yeah I will say that part of the baby steps is like resisting tidying like a
08:22tiny bit so think about maybe what tiny amount of chaos you would be okay with baby maybe you could leave
08:28some of those things on the floor tonight as long as I can clear a pathway to my desk that can maybe be
08:34okay with that that's a baby step choosing a perfection zone in your house something like a
08:39kids room a storage room a garage that tends to typically get messy anyway it's giving yourself a
08:44little bit of freedom to push your boundaries and you're relieving yourself of the stress of feeling
08:49like you have to keep it perfect so we've got throw pillows we've got the living room we have the playroom
08:55to just identify other zones of perfection around the house where maybe you know you could
09:01relax relax like a little bit around like your routine I'm a little worried about having to be
09:07messier we'll see you tomorrow okay all right bye guys bye baby steps that's all they're asking for
09:15what do you think maybe for one night mama doesn't do any cleaning yeah I will do my best
09:21but it'll be new for me maybe you clean up instead of me
09:25and I will like a little wrap into white balling
09:31how do you think they did that as well work last night I think Kelly probably tidied everything you think
09:45you think yeah it feels like it was gonna be quite difficult for her and I think that's why these
09:51baby steps are gonna be so important for her we gotta get them both to make baby steps it's not
09:57fair in any relationship where the expectations of cleaning falls onto one person's shoulder
10:01even if that person is the one who's bothered by the mess I understand there's an extreme to being too
10:06clean there's also an extreme to being too chill and by Andrew not contributing he's essentially saying to
10:11Kelly that her needs don't matter that much and when those little resentments occur and start to build
10:16up hi hi hello again how are you it can be very difficult to find the motivation to make any changes
10:23at all so how was your night I want to hear all about it we poured a glass of wine and tried to like
10:29think about your homework I see your pillows they are askew a little notice a little how did it feel
10:38since I feel like I kind of had like an expert's permission to let it go it felt a little bit
10:44okay how are the toys in the other room can I take a look yep did you leave them I did the boxes are out
10:54they are I am so proud of you congratulations and drawings too I left the art out you know she was still
11:04working on it so I thought maybe she can continue it later today who are you and what did you do with
11:12Kelly I am shocked I'm shocked that she left all this stuff out all night this is a very large win
11:19to the victory dance did it feel at all different this morning Kelly did really well yesterday I give her a
11:28lot of credit but she's got her limits so we'll see if this keeps up we don't want to push too hard
11:34we get it yes like even if it just lasts for you know 48 hours you've tried something new thanks guys
11:40I'm giving myself some credit that I'm doing the work and hopefully we'll be a happier family because
11:46of it can I head upstairs sure you know what I was thinking about this morning do you happen to have a
11:52a basket I do can you grab it yes I have like a little tip
12:03so I was thinking and it doesn't it's not going to necessarily be this basket that if we leave like a basket
12:09here and it'll be on the way up basket there are toys in the downstairs room there are toys in the
12:14upstairs room so Kelly's going back and forth but she doesn't need to be going up and down all day so
12:20you just throw things in there that need to go upstairs and once a day maybe for you twice a day
12:26you can bring the whole basket up instead of running up it's going to save you time and stress
12:30I end up stacking things right here here here here I know I'm the same way the on the way up basket is
12:37great for somebody like Kelly because it's still contained it's gonna get up there but it's not in
12:42plain view I love that idea are you gonna be okay with that yeah I think I think so we'll make it a cute
12:48basket yeah come on let's go up I think having a basket at the bottom of the stairs as a forever
12:56staple seems doable I love the idea that not everything needs to be put away they can just
13:01be put in a spot and we can clean it up from time to time maybe sometimes you can take the basket up
13:07maybe sometimes oh yay they're still out they're still out I will say it still looks marvelously
13:17neat for a playroom but I love that you like fell asleep with this something as simple as just
13:22letting the toys stay out overnight seems like a simple task but for somebody like Kelly taking
13:27those steps to implement real change could be difficult to overcome it's gonna take a real conscious
13:31effort on her part to be able to learn how to give up control and just relax a little bit it's time
13:36to have fun yeah Jen's got a little surprise for you I've never had anyone react to fun that way
13:44normally we like to take you beyond the mess because there's a mess in the house and people are stressed
13:49about it and we want to get them away in your case there is no mess really I feel like the mess is
13:54more maybe like in your mind than it is in the house so we want to get you away from that feeling
14:01and you and I are gonna go hop in a wetsuit not the same one we've got two we're gonna go to the
14:07beach we're gonna go boogie boarding oh going beyond the mess is gonna be so key for Kelly
14:12because she's been so wrapped up in her cleaning but she's forgotten to take the time to be present
14:17in all the other areas of her life have you ever been it's been a minute and I want to get her to a place
14:23where she can just remember to be more in the moment and experience the unpredictability of nature
14:27and all the joys that it can bring we're going to the beach no you're gonna stay with Sabrina yes
14:33and we've got a couple of things that we're gonna ask you to do as well so now I'm gonna play while
14:38he's gonna work yeah it's gonna be fun we've all got to make sacrifices when I woke up today I didn't
14:46realize that I was going to be boogie boarding so you do more I get to do less I'm a little nervous
14:53though about what Sabrina has in store for me I know that baby steps eventually turn into big steps and I
15:01don't know if I'm really prepared for those we'll see let's go let's get your wetsuits on all right
15:06let's get ready to have some see how you do Jen wipe out
15:13so pretty really is
15:27okay this is amazing this is the water feels really good I'm into it Kelly lives right around the corner
15:32from the beach but she is so busy cleaning and organizing that she doesn't even get a chance to
15:36enjoy it I can't believe you would ever choose to tidy over coming here and just spending a little
15:42bit of extra time in nature can have so many benefits it can decrease your blood pressure it
15:47can enhance your immune system functioning and overall just puts you in a better mood oh my gosh
15:51look at that wave we should try and catch something like that for Kelly this might involve going in the
15:56ocean but for someone else it might be going for a hike or just to walk around the block it's all about
16:01taking time to disconnect be in nature and be in the present moment
16:12when we started talking to Sabrina and Jen I never would have guessed that going in the ocean in a
16:19wetsuit was part of the plan and I was definitely apprehensive but I had so much more fun boogie boarding
16:28than I thought I would that was actually so fun yes I feel are you gonna be a beach bum from now on I
16:34don't know what's I need to do this more often yes I did not think I would see this side of Kelly today
16:40I'm excited for Kelly to translate this sense of fun and spontaneity into her life going forward
16:46I feel blissed out do you wish that you were cleaning instead right now no me neither
16:53all right so while the girls are boogie boarding we're gonna get to boogie on cleaning so I think
17:03Kelly did a good job with her baby steps and I know because I am Kelly in my house maintaining the house
17:09while working and being a mom is stressful so I want you to sort of get into a routine of helping a
17:15little bit more of the things that drive her crazy so she doesn't have to do it sure even though having the
17:20house tidy is less of a priority for Andrew him not sharing any of the responsibilities is creating
17:25a lose-lose situation for Kelly because there are only two options are accepting mess or taking time
17:30away from her family to clean what do you think like spots sort of on a daily basis stress her out
17:36it really starts at the front door yeah we come in with the kids from the the playground or the beach we
17:41take everything off their sandy clothes right and we just sort of shower out there and leave them to dry
17:46yeah until say somehow get cleaned up yes by Kelly probably probably so maybe you could take that on
17:54that's probably one area where I could maybe take a baby step can we go out there now sure
18:00let's see what this is yeah I can see how this could create some stress coming home from the grocery store
18:06and seeing this yeah the key is finding simple things that Andrew can do to pitch in and then sticking to
18:11those responsibilities on a daily basis so this is how it normally is yeah perfect a towel drying rack
18:17I don't think that's what it's more so maybe we can clean this up before they get back from boogie boarding
18:22we that's like me and you yeah that's right this is a team effort all right all right all right
18:27Kelly doesn't want to walk to the front door of her house and immediately be welcomed with clutter
18:32that's just gonna put her in a bad mood so I want Andrew to understand sometimes it's not about how much you clean
18:38it's about being consistent so your partner knows this is something you will always take care of
18:42what other areas do you think in the house we could pass through the kitchen for sure okay I do almost
18:46all the cooking in the house and you like to cook not clean I guess that's true yeah any right cook
18:54eat no clean all right let's go over there I like cooking with a lot of fruits and vegetables
18:58yeah so I ended up leaving a lot of the fruits and vegetables out over there to ripen
19:02so how would she normally want to have it she would normally want to make sure everything is
19:08tidily in the bowl but why don't you just put it in the bowl when you get home from the grocery store
19:13I just think it's not really a big deal we have to meet in the middle it's like I don't need you to
19:19make everything perfect with two kids there's no chance the house can always be perfect but it's all
19:24about balance if Andrew does a little more that means Kelly gets to do a little less and that
19:30means they all get to spend more time together I have to have a head back upstairs I also saw some
19:34of your clothes here on the chair so maybe you could put these away too um what do I do if I get a
19:39little cold you get them out of your closet okay Sabrina I know I know grab your stuff because you
19:43guys aren't staying here tonight I have to finish the rooms okay exciting awesome this is gonna be fun
19:48even though we're not dealing with a ton of mess in these two rooms there's still a lot of work to do to get
19:53ready for tomorrow we're completely switching the functionality of these two rooms I got a new rug so
19:58we could take this one out I understand Kelly I couldn't imagine releasing control to let somebody
20:07redo my space so I hope she's gonna like it but honestly with people who love to be in control you
20:14just never know
20:16oh my gosh
20:17so you're
20:21cheers
20:22ah that was so nice so relaxing I mean you know once you get here yeah it's all worth it
20:31I feel like that's the thing it's just like leaving the house and like leaving all of that behind and
20:36going like the dish will be there when you get back
20:38that thought has never crossed my mind but I think the point is like being out in the waves you have to
20:45relinquish control right it's the ocean and I feel like it's kind of scary but there's something also
20:51so freeing and letting go definitely I wouldn't say that there are definitely controlled parts to my
20:58personality and I think also just having little kids I probably try to control things that I can
21:06because so much of my life is not in my control but when I first met Andrew I was probably a little bit
21:12more spontaneous and I can jump in the ocean more often and we could probably remember a little bit more of
21:19the pre-mom Kelly yeah and bring her yeah she's fun a little bit she's ready to play in the beginning I was a
21:27little bit concerned that Sabrina and Jen were trying to change who I am in my core but I realize now
21:33they're just bringing out a little bit of me that was already in there and help me have a little bit
21:40more fun in life and enjoy my family a little bit more I found you guys come join our beach picnic
21:47this is amazing so much fun how is organizing well I have good news Andrew did the dishes
21:53fixed the front porch there's no towels no laundry wow and I think I'm gonna buy a wetsuit tonight
21:58really yeah it was a blast we are changing people's lives I never in a million years thought that you
22:04were gonna get her in the water let alone say that she's gonna start boogie boarding that is the magic of
22:09going beyond the mess I've already made a lot of progress too in the room so will you come back with me to
22:13finish up 100% let's go all right enjoy enjoy the last day we stand inside soak it in
22:19oh am I allowed to change out of my wet save before we go back to
22:23okay
22:33okay so are we ready yes oh you did the combo I want to have a couple stuffed animals in the ball pit just
22:47is like you know you can break the rules let's play all the rules sometimes I am positive that
22:53Andrew laid-back surfer guy that he is is gonna love whatever we've done Kelly I'm still not so sure
23:01I'm feeling so excited to see what Jen and Sabrina have done with our house but I'm of course nervous
23:10because I'm a very particular person and change is always hard I guess that's the part that maybe
23:16makes me a little nervous welcome home hello hi hi how are you guys feeling all the feelings
23:26okay we got we actually you know what I have a little surprise for you and your sister in the living room
23:30you want to see it even though Kelly and Andrew want us to focus on the office and playroom in the
23:35interest of helping Kelly continue to make baby steps we have a pre-reveal surprise what do you
23:41think is that your own easel bud Kelly I know you're probably like what actually looks like kids live here
23:48right mm-hmm I think it's great yeah listen they want to be around us they've got a place for their
23:53toys but they're not all over the place if you notice there are bins of toys in here too they're very
23:58small bins and they're organized so you're okay with it you know having some toys out here maybe
24:07they'll be a little more well-behaved while we can and be cooking or having a glass of wine and if
24:13you want to have a fancy dinner party or like a cocktail hour these fold and you can put them right
24:19underneath the sofa maybe I should take back what I said in the beginning about wanting it to look like
24:23kids don't live here because clearly they do and we love them so much okay will you guys play and
24:30draw some stuff while I show mommy and daddy their new office space okay a pretty picture I'm okay
24:38with them having some baskets and their art easels and I'm so happy that Kelly and I are now on the
24:43same page and have found a way to let them live their lives and control the mess a little bit
24:50can't wait to see what you guys draw I bet you guys can't wait to see the room can't wait let's go
24:54all right Kelly is particular she's gonna have some opinions about what we've done here we go ready
25:01oh my gosh can I hold your hand sure I don't know how this is gonna go
25:06oh my god oh my god I love it oh my god is this what you're expecting so much better so much better
25:31everything like every little detail oh my gosh and can you believe it's the same bed from before
25:42it doesn't even look yeah anything I leave it yeah people often don't realize how easy it is to take a
25:47piece you already own and just freshen it up by restyling it everything is styled with textures very
25:54calming colors and often adding those little details like throw pillows or decorative blanket can really
25:59elevate a room's vibe and purpose oh my god this desk setup is perfect so now you have your own desk
26:10all of your office accessories everything is nice and organized the most important thing that we did
26:16in the downstairs room was we gave Kelly her own separate toy free space where she can work
26:22distraction free and clutter free oh my god and your moms aren't there too oh obviously we wanted to
26:31have you know the stuff that was meaningful to you when my family comes to visit they'll be very
26:35comfy here I was definitely scared I was feeling like it might not be up to my taste but I'm thrilled with
26:45what they came up with I am so hard to please and you guys know like I am completely flabbergasted at
26:54how perfect this is you have your own space now and Kelly you deserve it I think it's great that
26:58Kelly has a place that she's the only one who needs to come in here oh my god and you can have her work
27:03set up have quiet now this room is yours you can keep it as you like I'm just in awe I'm so relieved that
27:09Kelly's loving everything so far but I have no idea how she's gonna feel about the girls playroom
27:14girls you ready compared to how the playroom was before there's actually a lot more stuff in it now
27:24so I'm just hoping she's gonna be okay with that let's go guys
27:28wow oh my oh my gosh look at this girls what that's the biggest bear I've ever seen in my whole life
27:55I know he's cozy yeah it's so much more than I ever imagined
28:05I'm ecstatic
28:10you can hang like costumes over here we wanted to make sure that costumes were also highlighted in the
28:16space there's a mirror so you can like try on your costumes and then see I know it bothered you a lot
28:21Kelly when the girls would just dump it out yeah it'd be a big pile on the floor and now they're displayed
28:26very important um so we're
28:29you got it down
28:32it is easy
28:33I love how they each have their own spaces so they don't need to fight over things
28:39girls those are your separate hooks hang what you want don't touch each other's stuff
28:43in addition to the hanging costumes we elevated the costume storage by adding pink under bed boxes
28:50they're easy for the girls to find and easy for them to just tuck away when they're done playing
28:54those bookcases are so incredible
28:56it turns
28:57so you can easily find the books you want
28:59there's just so many books on there it's a little heavy
29:02yeah
29:03oh my gosh this is so much easier for them
29:05we can group them by categories
29:07yeah you can categorize them
29:09you can organize the books
29:10yep
29:11there's like a gymnastics mat under the rug guys
29:15so it was really important for us to put the floor tiles here
29:18not only because I know the girls love gymnastics
29:21and having a really soft place to just play
29:24but for you if anything ever gets torn or ripped you just pop one tile out and you put the next one in
29:30I love the padding on the floor and you know part of playing is being sweet and quiet part of playing is tumbling around and it's great for that
29:39look at you can climb in the balls
29:41get in there
29:42what do you think
29:44oh my gosh
29:46I'm picking and rolling
29:50the balls are going to get everywhere you don't have to fall around and like pick them back up
29:54we can let this room hopefully be messy
29:57you know and girls what's so nice about this new space
30:00it's all yours
30:01and since mama's desk isn't here anymore
30:03you don't have to keep it clean all the time
30:06oh what do you think
30:08we're so happy
30:10yes we're so happy you can make a mess out here
30:12make a mess what it's for
30:16it's pretty perfect they've never had a place in the house that's just theirs
30:19they can do whatever they want with it
30:21and if I need to I can close the door
30:23Jen and I are so proud of you just taking the baby steps
30:27you've made such progress just in the days that we've been here
30:31Kelly really seems like a changed woman
30:33I can see she's made some real steps to allow a little bit more mess around the house
30:37and that's really inspired me to maybe take a few baby steps as well
30:41so whether it's the throw pillow
30:43whether it's this room
30:45just remember you know it's okay to let go a little bit
30:48a lot of this process is about letting go
30:50yes
30:51yes
30:52letting go of control
30:53letting go of
30:54stuff
30:55yeah
30:56the whole house doesn't have to be tidy for you to have fun
30:58when you get stressed go to the beach get a little sandy
31:02yeah
31:03I learned through this process that it's good to find the balance between cleaning and having fun
31:08and both can happen and both should happen and I am happy for that change
31:14all right you guys enjoy your space thank you again for letting us come in
31:17thank you
31:18thank you
31:19bye guys
31:20play in the new playroom a little bit
31:21woo
31:23let's play
31:33are you ready to meet Sherry our next client
31:35yeah
31:36yeah this morning I'm lucky I made it out of the house
31:38why what happened
31:39it was just like chaos
31:41Olivia's breakfast
31:42lunch
31:43she didn't make her bed
31:44I was almost late to work because I was cleaning
31:47I read about how parents pick up and tidy after their kids like 28 times a week on average
31:53it's way more than that
31:54I probably pick up after 28 times a day
31:56are you average though?
31:57oh right
31:58but can you imagine how often Sherry has to pick up after her kids?
32:05she runs a daycare center from her house and she has five kids of her own
32:09that's like 28 times an hour
32:10that's a lot
32:11my name is Sherry I'm a single mother of five kids and I run my daycare here in my home
32:20how are you?
32:21how are you?
32:22how are you?
32:23this space is pretty chaotic at times
32:25okay
32:26I try to create a clean space that's neat and tidy
32:30but I would say it's definitely a challenge
32:38it's kind of an eyesore to have a pack and play in the middle of like where you're trying to watch tv
32:43I think I'm doing a good job balancing it all however I always feel this pull to try to please my own kids while at the same time serving the daycare kids
32:56I need to get help from Sabrina and Jen
32:59I would like my kids to be proud of the space
33:01I would love the daycare to feel like they'd be proud of coming in here to learn every day
33:06all right Sherry said to meet her in the back because the kids are back there
33:09oh yay we get to see the kids
33:11so exciting
33:12whether you have a full house like Sherry or you run a business out of your home
33:18it's really easy to get overwhelmed trying to organize your space
33:23we're a cute neighborhood
33:24yeah
33:25when you're managing a space that has two separate functions
33:28it's really important to find a method that allows for practicality and simplicity
33:32and that's where we come in
33:34I know you want to be in my lap too
33:36hello Sherry
33:38hi
33:39hello
33:40hi
33:43how long have you had this daycare?
33:44for seven years
33:45I started my daycare after the death of my dad and the layoff under my professional job
33:50I wanted to stay home with the kids and also get back to my community
33:53you have kids of your own as well
33:55yes I do
33:56like in addition to the daycare
33:57yes they range in age 17, 17, 16, 13 and 8
34:01you have your hands full
34:02we do
34:03it's a non stop go go go
34:05it's always something to do
34:07I only have one daughter and sometimes I feel like I'm overwhelmed
34:11I couldn't imagine running a daycare with eight infants and having five kids
34:16that's a lot
34:17what space do you need help with?
34:18I need help with my family room and daycare inside
34:21okay can we take a look?
34:22yeah let's go
34:23okay
34:24we'll be right back okay?
34:25okay guys we'll be right back
34:26she just gives, gives, gives
34:28so I'm so excited we're able to give back to her
34:30let's put all the stars back in the bucket
34:33is it through here?
34:34yep right through here
34:35whoa
34:47is it through here?
34:48yep right through here
34:49whoa
34:51all right
34:54kids stop
34:56welcome welcome welcome
34:58what is this room considered?
35:00so this is our mud room
35:02but it's supposed to be my office
35:04your office?
35:05your office?
35:06this is your office?
35:07this is my office
35:08sherry
35:09i know
35:10in the process of taking care of everyone else
35:11sometimes it's like
35:12I'm kind of put to the bottom of the to-do list
35:15yeah
35:16this is where you like do paperwork?
35:17where?
35:18as long as I kind of like sit like wherever I can
35:21when I was researching my book
35:23I found a lot of stuff about the benefits of a messy desk
35:26people like Einstein for example
35:28very messy
35:29but sherry doesn't even have a desk where she can be messy
35:31there's not even a place for her to sit
35:33so this is all like paperwork that you need
35:35the files behind you
35:36that has all of our kids personal items
35:38so these are your business files
35:39yeah okay
35:40in and around
35:41business and personal
35:43maybe unfinished projects like
35:45I have a basket over here of like art projects that I was doing
35:47and then
35:48this is like mail and things like that
35:50that I've attempted to go through
35:51but I haven't got a chance to finish
35:52thank you
35:53oh we've all got baskets like this
35:54yes
35:55when you're working with a tiny space that has to hold a lot of items
35:57it can get really tricky to figure out where to store things
36:00and if you're somebody like sherry who works from home and has to organize a lot of paperwork
36:04a good tip is to use a scanning app on your phone
36:06you can scan all the important paperwork that you don't necessarily have to physically hold onto
36:10and then just keep the ones that must stay
36:13would you like to keep this your office
36:14like I have to share every space in the house
36:16so it's like my little zen space
36:19but I would like to be able to sit here and actually take care of business in this area as well
36:24and this space would be just for you
36:26just for me in a perfect world
36:27okay great
36:28can we look at the main room?
36:29yeah let's go
36:30I like zen room better than mud room
36:32I have to admit
36:34it's big
36:35this room is massive
36:37welcome to my humble abode
36:38so this is a daycare space
36:39yes
36:40this is our breakfast nook
36:42slash play space
36:44our art table
36:45we have those cubbies right behind you guys
36:47that's where we store our daycare kids stuff during the day
36:49yep
36:50this also doubles as my coffee table
36:53oh my goodness
36:55sherry
36:56you know I love a multi-functional piece of furniture
36:59but I think we could do better than a daycare table
37:01doubling as a coffee table
37:03what's happening with the desk area
37:05well we have my computer here even though my office is down there
37:09and then we have our sections here for learning
37:13so we have like puzzles, manipulatives, blocks
37:17oh yeah there's all kinds of stuff
37:19do your kids play sports? there's all these trophies here
37:22yes we're a track family
37:23nice
37:24that's awesome
37:25we run track, we play football, basketball, you name it we do it
37:28you too? you run?
37:29well years ago
37:30okay
37:31years ago
37:32i don't currently run but i run after them
37:34that's right
37:35you do run
37:36do you get any help from the kids for tidying?
37:38like how are they with helping you?
37:39yeah are the kids helpful?
37:40i think all of them try to be helpful in their own right
37:43but then it all falls back on me to figure it all out
37:46do you feel like the daycare stuff is sort of overwhelming the personal stuff?
37:50definitely oh my goodness
37:52yeah that's my biggest problem
37:54is trying to combine the daycare and my personal life
37:57because when i first opened the daycare all the kids were little
37:59so it kind of all kind of blended together
38:01but now that the children are getting older
38:03i feel so guilty because my kids don't really have a space in this space
38:07because they're not comfortable in this space anymore
38:09so they voiced that concern to you?
38:11definitely
38:12we see this dynamic a lot
38:14tensions can really start to build when you've got a shared space
38:16and there's one person or group of people
38:18that start kind of taking over
38:20and then everyone else just feels pushed to the side
38:22and sherry's kids resenting the daycare is just an extreme version of that
38:25this room has gotten away from you just because
38:28you're growing your business
38:30the kids are growing
38:31yeah
38:32you're super busy
38:33and there's just a lot of stuff that has to be in here
38:35we need to find a way to give the kids a space
38:38that's designated just for them in the living room
38:40so they have a feeling of ownership
38:42so they don't feel like they're just living in a daycare
38:44but you watch tv here with the kids too?
38:46yes and we can
38:47the problem is that we don't have enough room for everyone to sit down
38:51so sometimes i'll just sit on the floor
38:53you sit on the floor?
38:54i usually let them have the couch and i'll just sit on the floor
38:57everything you're doing is selfless
38:59yeah that's kind of like my heart is just always to help others
39:03and so that's kind of my why
39:05i feel bad that i can't make everyone happy
39:08i know but you're going to
39:10you will
39:11and we're going to make you happy
39:12i'm so excited
39:13as a mom you often feel guilty about so many things
39:16and you always feel like you cannot do enough for your kids
39:19so i'm so elated that finally i'm about to get some support that i need
39:24one of the things that we love to do especially in a space like this
39:27where there's so many people using it for so many different purposes
39:30is if it's okay with you we put in surveillance cameras
39:33we'll just take a little look at how you operate in the space
39:36how your kids operate in the space
39:38great
39:39because when we can visually see how all 14 people use this space
39:42we'll be able to come up with better solutions that are customized for you
39:46sure
39:47so that's okay?
39:48yeah great
39:49and then we'll come back tomorrow and this place is going to start coming together
39:52i'm so excited
39:53it's been a long time since i've met someone as deserving as sherry is
39:57which is why it's really important for us to get the space to work for her
40:00and it's not going to be easy because this needs to be a multifunctional space
40:03where sherry can run her daycare
40:05her kids can feel at home
40:06and sherry has a place where she can relax
40:09thank you so much
40:10thank you
40:11thank you
40:12thank you
40:13yeah that's a lot of functionality for one space
40:16we've got a lot of work to do
40:17i'll see you tomorrow
40:18bye
40:27bye
40:57bye
40:58bye
41:27bye
41:28bye
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