- 4 months ago
S01E05 >>> https://dai.ly/x9qt4vs
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00:00Forensics report says she had sedatives in her system.
00:02Sonya Martins was not Sally McGowan.
00:05Everyone blames me for the rumor.
00:07Seth again?
00:08That's not what you think.
00:09Seth is my half-brother.
00:11What do you know about Kay's daughter?
00:13She lives overseas, New Zealand.
00:15She actually lives in Denmark.
00:16Who are you, really?
00:17Are you Sally McGowan?
00:19You need to stop this right now.
00:20It says Sally loved to sing and had a beautiful voice.
00:24Please think that I was the last person to see Sonya alive.
00:27And were you?
00:28Turns out Sally McGowan had a baby.
00:30I reckon that relationship is the key.
00:33You've no idea the damage you've done.
00:58That's a perfect thing.
01:01Do you have to play in the game?
01:03No, no.
01:04No, no, no.
01:05But I can't be dead in the game.
01:06The last thing I do want to play in the game is to ask.
01:07I know a guy is a kid and I will be the last man.
01:09You bet who he is.
01:11And now I have to be dead in the game.
01:12It's like my baby.
01:13I'm sorry.
01:13I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:14The last one is drunk.
01:15I'm sorry, he's good in the game,
01:16He's not in the game.
01:17I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:18I'm sorry that he's not in the game.
01:20He might move like, he's not in the game.
01:21Hey.
01:45Hey.
01:47Alfie in bed already.
01:49Fast asleep.
01:50Who was asking for you?
01:53So we got the police to ourselves.
01:58Just listen to this.
01:59It says here that she was always drawing during the trial.
02:02She didn't listen to any of the lawyers or the witnesses.
02:05That she was happy because she had all the paper and pencils that she wanted.
02:09Who does that sound like to you?
02:10Got to be kidding me.
02:13You promised me you were going to leave this alone.
02:15Did you hear what I said?
02:17All Liz does is paint.
02:20Liz.
02:22Joe, you've accused two people already.
02:24One of them is dead.
02:25Now you think it's Liz.
02:26You've known Liz for years.
02:28I know.
02:28Do you remember me telling you that Sally McGowan had a child?
02:32I was in Liz's studio and I found a photo of her with a newborn.
02:35If she's lying about that, who knows what the real truth is?
02:39Um, your mom, for one.
02:42And if she doesn't?
02:46All right.
02:48Enough, Joe.
02:50I know what happened at Alfie's London School.
02:53I spoke to his teachers there.
03:00Well, that's got nothing to do with this.
03:02Oh, bullshit, Joe.
03:05Look, I get it.
03:06But the fire has always made you so overprotective of him.
03:09That's what all this is about.
03:10But you're getting worse.
03:11You've been bullied.
03:12You screamed at a kid until he cried.
03:16And apparently the governors got involved.
03:19I was angry.
03:20I had every right to be.
03:22You threatened a child.
03:24And I'd do it again.
03:25How can you be so blind to the damage this is doing?
03:31Oh, forget that.
03:32You're missing the point.
03:34Please, please just wait.
03:36Right.
03:37Liz had her first exhibition in 1996.
03:40And there's nothing about her before that.
03:41But I know she painted all her life.
03:43She wouldn't have stopped when she was in prison.
03:46Who knows how many paintings she'd have produced.
03:48And people love that sort of thing.
03:50Like, the more famous, the killer, the better.
03:52And Sally McGowan has been in the papers loads recently.
03:54So I did a search.
03:55And I found this.
03:58Home by Sally McGowan.
04:00Painted while she was in Willow Grange Juvenile Detention Centre.
04:03It's for sale.
04:04A grand.
04:05Pick up only in Sheffield.
04:07That's her.
04:08I know it is.
04:09That's her painting.
04:10This doesn't look anything like Liz's work.
04:14I know, but...
04:16Well, an artist's style will change and evolve,
04:18but not their handwriting or their signature.
04:21We need to get that painting.
04:22If I can confirm it's Liz's signature...
04:25I can't do this, Jill.
04:31I'm going to bed.
04:32Michael.
04:36I know this doesn't make any sense.
04:40But I need you to trust me.
04:43Please.
04:44I'm scared for my mom.
04:46I know this doesn't make any sense.
04:49I know this doesn't make any sense.
05:05Yeah, we've got quite a few viewings for our lit house.
05:17I reckon we'll get some off of them.
05:18Yeah, leave that with me.
05:20I'm going to nip and see Kate.
05:22Don't do that.
05:27Something wrong?
05:29Kay Allenson called this morning.
05:33She was not at all happy.
05:36She doesn't want us to sell the house anymore.
05:44She's staying in Flintstead?
05:45No, she's still selling.
05:47She just doesn't want to do it for her pectons.
05:52We had a misunderstanding.
05:54So, let me make sure I've got this right.
05:58You don't think she's selling McGowan anymore?
06:03People are throwing accusations around.
06:05Because of you.
06:06Look, I'll go over.
06:08I'll talk to her.
06:08I'll apologise.
06:09Just stop.
06:11It's too late for that.
06:11I don't have much choice in this, but, um, I'm going to have to review your employment situation.
06:25You're firing me?
06:30Like I said, it's under review.
06:32Oh, and, uh, the abandoned house on the Crescent?
06:56Just leave it.
06:56You don't need anythingеч秋.
06:57It's good.
06:57I'm not em strictました.
07:02It's great.
07:02I don't need anything.
07:03You don't need anything.
07:04I've been here.
07:05I don't need anything.
07:06It works.
07:08OK, are you in there?
07:30It's Joanna.
07:32I just want to talk.
07:38Okay?
08:08Kate, Miss Joanna, can you hear me?
08:25I'm going to get you out of here.
08:26OK, I'm going to get you out of here.
08:40OK.
08:41OK.
08:42OK.
08:43That's OK.
08:44Keep breathing.
08:45It'll be all right now.
08:46Uncle Val.
08:47Uncle Val.
08:48I...
08:49I...
08:50I...
08:51Yeah.
08:52I smell gas.
08:53I couldn't breathe.
08:54I couldn't...
08:56So you didn't turn the gas on?
08:58No.
08:59Get an ambulance, please.
09:01Let's just try and breathe, OK?
09:04OK.
09:23Did you have fun with Daddy in the park?
09:24Good.
09:25I'm glad.
09:26What'd you get up to?
09:27We were bird spotting.
09:28Did you?
09:29Any good ones?
09:30A black one.
09:31And a robin.
09:32That's my favourite.
09:33Is it?
09:34I think it's Nana's favourite, too.
09:35Aunt Liz said she can give me lessons to paint them.
09:41Did she?
09:42Well, that might not be the best idea right now.
09:44Why not?
09:45I don't know.
09:46I don't know.
09:47I don't know.
09:48I don't know.
09:49I don't know.
09:50I don't know.
09:51I don't know.
09:52I don't know.
09:53I don't know.
09:54I don't know.
09:55I don't know.
09:56I want you to stay away from Aunt Liz for the time being.
10:00She's just very busy.
10:01That's all.
10:04Where's Daddy?
10:06He'll be here soon.
10:07I want Daddy.
10:09I know you do.
10:10And he'll be here.
10:11Come on, Alfie.
10:13Let's get some sleep now.
10:14Hey?
10:15Close your eyes.
10:16I don't want to.
10:17I have bad dreams.
10:19Oh, Alfie.
10:21You know sometimes I have bad dreams, too.
10:24I've done ever since I was your age.
10:29But you're safe.
10:31I promise you you're safe.
10:34Close your eyes, darling.
10:37I won't let anyone hurt you.
10:39So were you with Liz all day today?
10:40Why are nasty you want to know that?
10:41Just worried.
10:42We're both fine, love.
10:43Other than popping to the shops this morning, Liz has been locked away in a studio.
10:46Okay.
10:47Is this to do with what happened to Kay?
10:49Mm-hmm.
10:50I know.
10:51The thought of someone trying to kill you.
10:52I know.
10:53I thought that someone tried to kill you.
10:54I know.
10:55It's the thing.
10:56I know.
10:57I know.
10:58I know.
10:59I know.
11:00I know.
11:01But I'm sorry.
11:02I don't know.
11:03I know.
11:04I know.
11:05I'm popping to the shops this morning, Liz has been locked away in a studio.
11:09Okay.
11:11Is this to do with what happened to Kay?
11:14Mm-hmm.
11:16I know.
11:18The thought that someone tried to kill her is just beggar's belief.
11:22But...
11:24Especially after the terrible business with Sonya.
11:27Life just sometimes seems so fragile.
11:30Every day I count my blessings.
11:33Me too.
11:35I know you've had a hell of a shock.
11:37But you can't let it get to you.
11:39You need to go easy on yourself.
11:42I just...
11:43What?
11:45Just want you to be safe, Mum.
11:47Of course I'm safe.
11:49We both are.
11:51I get a decent night's sleep.
11:53It's late.
11:54Okay?
11:55No, Mum.
12:03It's an interesting choice for a rough typhoon.
12:12I prefer people didn't see us talking.
12:14Oh.
12:15Well, if I was the type I might be offended by that.
12:16I've got something for you.
12:17But I need to be an anonymous source.
12:18Okay.
12:19Depends what it is.
12:20I might know Sally McGowan is.
12:21I can't be sure.
12:22I need you to check her out.
12:23But no one can know it's come from me.
12:25Journalists on her.
12:26Come on.
12:27Who is it?
12:28No one can know it's come from me.
12:29It's not a bad day.
12:30No one can know it's come from me.
12:32Journalists on her.
12:36Come on.
12:37Who is it?
12:38Who is it?
12:39I'm not a bad idea.
12:40Who is it?
12:41No one can know it's come from me.
12:42who is it?
12:45I could call her.
12:46What's it?
12:47as someone to call her.
12:52Come on, who is it?
12:57She...
12:59She's close to my mum.
13:02And I need my mum to know the truth.
13:04But if I tell her she doesn't believe me,
13:06or if she tries to confront this woman,
13:08then she could be in danger.
13:10But if everyone finds out at the same time...
13:12Your mum knows and it doesn't come from you.
13:15Yeah.
13:17I just need her to be safe.
13:19You must have heard what happened to Kay.
13:22You're safe!
13:24You're safe!
13:25You're safe!
13:28You're safe!
13:30You're safe!
13:31Tink, you're safe!
13:33Tink!
13:34Tink!
13:35Tink!
13:36Tink!
13:37Tink!
13:39Tink!
13:44Oh my god, is there any update on Kay?
13:46Is she alright?
13:48Yeah, I took her to the hospital.
13:50It seems you're everywhere these days.
13:51Do the police have any idea?
13:53Not that I know of.
13:54Yeah, honestly, what is the point of having a boyfriend
13:56as a police officer if he's not going to tell you anything?
13:58It must be Sally McGowan trying to kick Kay like she did Sonia.
14:01So you didn't say that Kay was Sally?
14:03Well, maybe she faked it so that we didn't suspect her.
14:06To throw us off the scent.
14:08No.
14:09Because you'd never have known that I was going to turn up at a house.
14:11That's far too risky.
14:13Well, it's not been funny.
14:14I'm not waiting around for another murder to happen.
14:16I mean, someone's got to do something.
14:18We should start a neighbourhood watch.
14:21No!
14:22Get off!
14:23Alfie!
14:24Stop that!
14:25Get off!
14:26Woah, Alfie!
14:27Alfie!
14:28Leo!
14:29Leo, what's going on?
14:30Come on.
14:31Well, Alfie was just defending himself.
14:32Come on, darling.
14:33Let's go.
14:34I don't even recognise this place anymore.
14:36Alfie, get your bag.
14:38Come on, Hayley, we're going.
14:40Okay.
14:46Okay.
14:47Let's go.
14:48Let's go.
14:57Okay, he's not feeling very well.
14:59So me and Alfie are going to wait with you till your mum gets back, okay?
15:01Okay.
15:02Be quiet, you two, because your gran might be asleep.
15:15I'll make you a snack in a minute.
15:21Oh, hiya.
15:24Oh, thank you so much for picking Hayley up for me.
15:29Yeah, that's no bother.
15:30Oh, look at you, Mother of the Year.
15:33Hardly.
15:34How's Kay?
15:35I tried to call, but...
15:37Yeah, they're keeping her in for observation.
15:39Did she say anything?
15:41Just that someone was in the house and turned the gas on.
15:44Oh.
15:45This has all got so out of hand.
15:48Yeah.
15:49But we're just trying to keep our kids safe.
15:52And quite rightly, from what I've been reading...
15:54You've got to read this.
15:55Where's my book?
15:56Ah!
15:57Here it is.
15:58Multiple psychiatrists who worked with Sally before the trial said she showed no signs of remorse.
16:10And repeatedly lied to the police.
16:12She's born bad.
16:13There's no changing people like that.
16:15Trust me.
16:16See it every day at work.
16:17Borrow that, if you like.
16:19I've already got a copy.
16:20I have to keep it hidden.
16:22If Alfie sees it, he's been so unsettled.
16:25Oh.
16:26Mind you, Hayley's been exactly the same.
16:28When she looks like she's okay and then she just explodes when she's tired.
16:32I just wish this was all over.
16:34Do you think I moved him here to make everything better?
16:37You know what?
16:38You can't second guess every decision you make.
16:40We're all gonna muck them up at some point.
16:44Can I stay over, Mum?
16:46Please?
16:47It's fine by me.
16:48I've got the weekend off while Nick's away in the city.
16:50And honestly, it'd probably be easier if she's got a friend here.
16:54Are you sure you're gonna be alright to sleep here by yourself?
16:58Yeah.
16:59Okay.
17:01Come on, Alfie.
17:02Let's go.
17:04Doing good to have a distraction.
17:05Yeah, thanks.
17:07I was a bit worried he was going backwards in the friend-making department.
17:10Not unlike his mother.
17:12Well, you've got us.
17:13And you know, that's the cream of the crop anyway.
17:15Right, you lot, let's get your beds made up.
17:45Have you come to apologise for your son's behaviour?
18:00We need to talk.
18:06I don't know what you want me to say.
18:08It's the same photo paper as Liam's party invitations.
18:11And?
18:14So, Debbie, what have I ever done to make you hate me so much?
18:17Oh, God, this was just gonna be a bit of a silly Halloween fun.
18:21I didn't know you'd fly off the handle like you did.
18:23Alfie's got a knife sticking out of his chest.
18:25Yes, and Hayley's got a noose around her neck,
18:27and Liam's got an axe sticking out of him,
18:28but you didn't notice them, did you?
18:32And what about this?
18:34Well, that one I was just trying to push your buttons.
18:37Why?
18:38Look, I've seen the way Stephen looks at you, Joanna.
18:41What? No, no, don't.
18:42Don't.
18:43Tell me it's in my head.
18:44Don't do that.
18:45Stephen does that, and it's infuriating.
18:48God, honestly, you don't know what I've become.
18:52I smell his clothes when he gets in from work.
18:54The second he's out of the room, I pounce on his phone.
18:56I'm always trying to catch him in a lie.
18:58I've become this hideous, walking cliché,
19:01something I promised I'd never be.
19:04Trust me, I hate myself more than you ever could.
19:07Debbie, I hand on heart have no interest in Stephen.
19:14He's not the lady's man he thinks he is, is he?
19:20He doesn't deserve you.
19:21I know.
19:23Believe me, I know that too.
19:24I'm sorry about the picture.
19:29Of course I don't think you're evil.
19:31I was just upset and wanted to hurt you.
19:34But I know he's lying to me.
19:36I know it.
19:38I know it because he was meant to be here helping me
19:40at the Halloween party.
19:41He was meant to help me set up, and then he just disappeared.
19:44And he wouldn't tell me where he'd gone.
19:46But he had the nerve to act all hurt that I doubted him.
19:50I won't be made a fool of twice.
19:53I know.
19:55I do know he cheated on you.
20:00Yeah.
20:01Well, everybody knows.
20:03The whole of this stupid town.
20:06It was the juiciest bit of gossip in Plinstead.
20:09And then this Sally McGowan stuff came along.
20:12So that's why you push the Sally McGowan stuff so much?
20:14Well, I wasn't the only one.
20:18And, no, I mean, I was genuinely scared for the kids.
20:22This woman's killed before.
20:23I mean, surely she could kill again.
20:26Kay's just lucky she didn't end up like Sonia.
20:28How do you feel like Sonia?
20:29I don't know.
20:59Mum, if you've got a question for me, why don't you just ask her?
21:25I know you saw the photo in my studio.
21:27Mum, I think it might be best if we talk by ourselves.
21:31This is about listening.
21:34That's what your call was really about last night, wasn't it?
21:37I know, but...
21:42Would you tell me the truth?
21:45Of course.
21:49Come in.
21:51I wasn't going to say anything, but...
22:03I keep no secrets from your mother.
22:07The photo you saw...
22:09Was of me and my son, Henry.
22:10It's the only one I have of him.
22:11So you don't see him?
22:12No.
22:13No.
22:14I don't see him.
22:15No.
22:16I don't see him.
22:17No.
22:18I don't see him.
22:19I don't see him.
22:20No.
22:21I don't see him.
22:22I don't see him.
22:23I don't see him.
22:24I don't see him.
22:25No.
22:26I don't see him.
22:27It was of me and my son, Henry.
22:31It's the only one I have of him.
22:33So you don't see him?
22:38No.
22:39I'm sure it's the roof.
22:43I have no idea who I am.
22:45You know, you don't have to do this.
22:48No.
22:49I'm fine.
22:51It's time to get it out.
23:03I got pregnant when I was 19.
23:07At an age when I was still pretending to like boys.
23:10I have to say, not very well.
23:13I suppose it's what they call date rape nowadays, but back then it was just a bad date.
23:22I don't want to believe I could be pregnant, so I didn't do anything until it was too late.
23:34I gave Henry up for adoption when he was still in the womb.
23:43But when he was born, I wasn't so sure.
23:55I was young and my parents said it was for the best.
24:00The nurses let me hold him.
24:07Just long enough to whisper his name.
24:17I'm so sorry, Liz.
24:19I was young and stupid and I wish I could have taken it back, but I can't.
24:44So now you know.
24:46I hope that satisfies you.
24:53I have to go.
24:58Liz.
25:02Mom.
25:04This is really hard for her.
25:06No, I know.
25:08And it's awful.
25:10But it doesn't mean she isn't silent.
25:12Joanna.
25:14What the hell's got into you?
25:17Michael's worried about you.
25:18I'm worried about you.
25:19You're not right.
25:21Liz.
25:22No, enough.
25:24I know Liz.
25:26As well as I know myself.
25:28Now I'm telling you.
25:30This needs to stop.
25:32For your own good.
25:33The other.
25:34It's not the scenario.
25:35It's not the road.
25:36The other.
25:37It's not the same.
25:38It's not the danger.
25:41Not the other.
25:43Yes.
25:44The other thing.
25:46It's not the fault.
25:47Ugh.
25:49Yes.
25:50To the other.
25:51I know so.
25:52The other.
25:54I know so.
25:54The other.
25:55The other.
25:56The other.
25:57Who?
25:58Who is that?
25:59The other.
26:00I know so.
26:01I don't know.
26:31Hey. Thanks for picking me up.
26:47No, I really could have taken a taxi.
26:49No, it's all part of the Pegton service.
26:52Well, ex-Pegtons.
26:55Well, seeing as you saved my life, I think I could possibly let you sell my house again.
27:00Well, certainly not staying here now.
27:02Thanks. I hope that's enough for Stephen.
27:08It's strange to think that someone was there when I was sleeping.
27:13You'd be all right on your own tonight?
27:15Oh, and I'm going to stay with Rachel.
27:16Look, I've got police crawling all over the house looking for fingerprints or whatever it is they look for.
27:21There'll be plenty with all the viewings.
27:23Yeah, well, points for trying, I guess.
27:29Kay, I'm so sorry.
27:30That I said you were Sally McGowan.
27:34It was unforgivable.
27:36Oh, well.
27:38At least you've seen the light.
27:43It was just...
27:45Sorry, but the letter was...
27:48Yeah.
27:54Yeah, I've been trying to get Zoe to...
27:57forgive me for a long time now.
28:01Forgive you for what?
28:07I told her ex...
28:09where to find her.
28:10I mean, I've no idea how violent he was.
28:18I don't think she was really trying to shield me.
28:23Anyway...
28:25He almost killed her.
28:29Oh.
28:32And the kids.
28:37And, um, that's why she won't forgive me.
28:40And it's why I lie about where they live.
28:45I'd do anything to make amends at my family.
28:49I'm sorry.
29:06Well, it's just pointless.
29:07No-one's going to come.
29:10Of course they may.
29:14There's a council.
29:17Liz.
29:22I'll get her the last one.
29:31Mum, can we talk?
29:32Yeah, um...
29:34Give me a hand with the food.
29:44They're cooking all morning.
29:47Mum?
29:47There's nothing worse than under catering.
29:50Mum, I need to tell you something.
29:52It's a list.
29:53You check what's on it.
29:55So I don't forget anything.
29:57Hmm?
29:58I can't this way?
29:58Uh...
30:00Napkins.
30:02Napkins.
30:02Mum, I think I might have messed up.
30:05Let's risk.
30:06Okay, let's get these in the van.
30:08What were you saying?
30:10Oh.
30:12I've no idea what you're talking about.
30:15And clearly you haven't got a shred of proof.
30:19If you print a word of this, I'll have you for libel.
30:22Liz, who's this?
30:24I'm Zach Cooper from the Post.
30:25I'm just after a quote from Miss Blackthorne.
30:29A quote about what?
30:30Her exhibition?
30:31It doesn't matter.
30:32This gentleman was just leaving.
30:34What, so you deny the allegations?
30:35I...
30:36Well...
30:39Well, weren't you aware?
30:42Mum, leave it.
30:43For goodness sake!
30:45Aware of what?
30:46Someone has told this so-called journalist that I am Sully McGowan.
30:59Who?
31:05Mum.
31:09Joanna?
31:10I'm trying to...
31:11Have you lost your mind?
31:13After everything Liz told you...
31:14I don't want to hear it.
31:18You've gone too far this day.
31:20You really have.
31:20Mum, please.
31:22All I have to do is help you.
31:24And this is how you repay me?
31:26Why are you so determined to ruin everything?
31:32I've had it with you.
31:33I've had it with you.
31:33I've had it with you.
31:51I've had it with you.
31:53I've had it with you.
31:53hi sorry i've been a bit i can call back no no um just give me a minute
32:03there we go hi it's good to see you likewise i thought you'd want to know i found something
32:17a box of dads in the attic with a bunch of your old stuff i think from when you were a kid
32:22oh it won't be mine well it's definitely not mine yeah it's impossible uh the fire destroyed
32:28everything there was nothing left i don't know anything about a fire but um look that's definitely
32:35you right and that's dad and i'm assuming that's your mom i don't understand could you can you move
32:46that a bit closer how's that yeah what does it say on my jumper can you read it yeah sure uh it says
32:56lucy and there's dad's writing on the back it says me b and lucy why does it say that
33:04it doesn't make any sense well why don't you ask your mother
33:08i can send you all this stuff if you want thanks yeah thank you uh look i'll i'll call you soon
33:16okay okay okay i think so hi let's see where have you been sheffield
33:29is that the painting
33:35thank you
33:46i told my mom i think it's liz yeah what you say
33:57hmm she's not speaking to me
34:00all right well i guess she'll have to once she's seen this
34:10signatures on the back
34:17yeah
34:19well
34:23recognize it
34:26is it hers
34:28what
34:34what's wrong
34:36joanna
34:38what is it
34:42that's not liz's handwriting
34:45what do you mean
34:47whose is it
34:49it's my mom's
34:52no no it can't be
35:04it can't be her
35:08maybe
35:09telly's just got similar handwriting
35:12that's my mom's handwriting
35:17i've seen it all my life
35:19it's said in the book that she grew up in poverty and that she was an only child but she came from a large extended family
35:30when my grandparents died when i was little so it can't
35:32unless that's just what she told me
35:38all right we don't want to start jumping to conclusions joe
35:42ever since my dad left it's it's always been the two of us
35:46it's just me and my mom no aunts no uncles no cousins
35:53she told me she wasn't bright enough to go to university
35:58what if she was in prison that whole time
36:01oh my god alfie
36:03we can't let her anywhere near it
36:05oh joe
36:05and the fire
36:08what if the fire never happened
36:12what if that's why it's always been so
36:14hazy in my head why i can't properly remember it
36:18seth said he found things that should have burnt in the fire but my dad had
36:21them
36:22so what if she's just told me about the fire and i've pictured it and pictured it
36:26till it felt real
36:28fuck
36:29what the hell would she do that i don't know oh my god
36:33i feel sick right you stay there i need to see her
36:44i told you
36:56The End
37:26I'm here, I'm good, I'm good.
37:56I'm good.
38:26It's okay.
38:56Were you ever going to tell me?
39:04No.
39:06You lied to me my whole life.
39:17I didn't.
39:24No.
39:25No.
39:26No.
39:26I don't care to do that.
39:35Because I don't trust a single word that comes out of your mouth.
39:37I know what you did.
39:55I'm sorry.
39:55Do you think that makes it okay?
40:03No, it doesn't.
40:04Of course it doesn't.
40:05I don't know who I am.
40:15Everything about my life.
40:17Did Dad even leave me?
40:20He did.
40:21But it wasn't...
40:23But the fire didn't happen.
40:27No.
40:34You...
40:35You made me...
40:37You made me scared.
40:38You made me scared of losing everything.
40:40I thought it was my fault.
40:44The fire...
40:46Losing Dad.
40:48I never said that.
40:49You didn't have to!
40:54But I had no choice.
40:55I had to make so many decisions.
40:58It was chaos.
40:59They had to move us quickly.
41:02They had to change our names.
41:03They had to change everything.
41:04After your Dad found out who I was.
41:06The fire was the best way.
41:08No!
41:09Stop!
41:11All my life, I've been terrified of the fire.
41:15I've been terrified of losing everything.
41:19I've been alone.
41:24I'm losing you.
41:25You were my world.
41:30You were all I had.
41:37I don't remember a time...
41:39Get the fuck off me!
41:43I don't remember a time...
41:46Where the world didn't feel dangerous.
41:51Scary.
41:53And wrong.
41:54Where I didn't feel wrong.
41:57I didn't trust my own mind.
41:59And I didn't...
42:00Didn't trust anybody else.
42:02And I didn't know why.
42:06But you did.
42:12You could have told me.
42:15But you let me believe it was me.
42:19You let me believe there was something wrong with me.
42:22And you killed that little boy!
42:24You hurled him away!
42:26And you stabbed him!
42:27You're the fucking monster!
42:33I was a child.
42:37You don't know how it was.
42:39I barely went to school.
42:41I barely had enough to eat.
42:43I had to fend for myself.
42:45I don't know how it was.
42:46I did.
42:47Stop!
42:48Did she kill Sonia?
42:54Of course not.
42:58Someone killed Sonia because they thought she was me.
43:01and what about k don't you understand it someone out there wants to kill sally mcgowan they want
43:13to kill me
43:14oh my god times i've left you alone with elfie
43:23you can't think i would ever hurt him
43:28i don't know you i don't know what you're capable of
43:33god what if i'm like you no what if it's no no you're nothing like me you were sweet and good
43:42from the day you were for my whole life's been alive that's not true what's my name
43:51what's my real name
44:01fucking tell me
44:06lucy
44:10it's just a name joanna
44:28you should never have had me no you had no right
44:34i will do everything i can to protect elfie
44:40and you'll never see him again
44:52i will do everything i can to protect elfie
45:07Transcription by CastingWords
45:37CastingWords
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