Skip to playerSkip to main content
BRITCOM I
  • 2 months ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Australia we're here for you bushfires we're here for you celebration we're here
00:10for you adventuring we're here for you birthdays we're here for you tea dial
00:18wherever you are so are we you know what's crazy we're already ideating so
00:25many changes in the office and yet we don't have a contractual leg to stand
00:28on have you received like a single email from Bobby no nothing I mean we're
00:32obviously doing an exceptional job in our new role yeah I don't think I'm
00:35exaggerating when I say that we're disrupting the social sphere of public
00:37relations in the biggest way since Boyd's nephew Edward Bernays was like what
00:40if we took ideas about our deepest fears and desires and use them to sell
00:43products have you seen that video essay of course I have I think I sent it to you
00:46okay wait Meredith hasn't applied to a single one of our money requests what I
00:50still don't know how nice was supposed to be to her now that we're in charge well
00:53you know it's extremely easy for me to be likeable and warm but I just want to
00:55know is there a world in which we don't have to be nice to anyone least of all
00:57Ian who's so clearly gunning for our shared position okay I so hear you but
01:01I'm still consumed by contract gate I've tried to book in with a business coach
01:04Alex Mangrove I love him okay but do you think we need to engage a lawyer do we
01:07know any lawyers yes I briefly dated two barristers slight overlap but different
01:10chambers here well let's contact both of them and let's be nice to Meredith today
01:13just in case okay are you getting any emails I was just gonna say I think my
01:17phone is frozen what weird Sam
01:20hello Ian how could you I just came here to tell you face to face but I'm gonna ruin your life
01:46mate Greg I'd really like to chat about this but uh I gotta go I'm gonna email your clients
01:52yeah tell me yeah hung me out to dry and leaked my story to the press sorry it wasn't in my control
01:58look it's it's just business big business nasty business I'm gonna get you in
02:04T-Dial nothing I got nothing okay this is so weird I have like no bars what is going on it must be a dead
02:20zone oh I can you like established dead zone seriously have no service on this thing oh my god me neither
02:25are you guys with T-Dial because I think the whole network's down Jesus Christ Nicole T-Dial T-Dial that's our
02:32client we need to get to the office like ASAP right now right now go go go go Ian the T-Dial network
02:45Ian the whole system's down we have to I am all across it I'm doing a client strategy map for them
02:52as we speak okay Ian last week we decided the T-Dial that would be our client yeah we should be running
02:56the play on this okay uh what's your strategy well my first point of call would be to have a look at
03:03some of your options well actually we can contact Bobby because he's on the board of T-Dial yes so
03:06let's do that okay great uh contact Bobby how what's that what the hell's that what is that I can't
03:17evacuate what is that grab a central leave like what is going on Ian what the hell is that what is that
03:21this is the Fritz and Randall fax machine I hooked it up this morning it's on the old copper network
03:27the copper what the what oh it's from Bobby shall I fax Bobby back telling him you're across this
03:35one second Ian what do we do how do we contact T-Dial I don't know okay I hate to say it don't say it
03:42I disagree okay but do you have any other strategies for T-Dial
03:46exactly what strategy I don't know what we're doing wow there is a weird energy going on out
03:52there in the world today oh oh good morning premier uh mr. Chamberlain Cody Cody's fine
04:01Cody's phone works Cody has service Cody's on the nodo network you must still be operating yeah
04:06congrats on the new role CEO of T-Dial failing upwards much why is he calling me okay what is he saying
04:11what is he saying um yeah uh just yeah I'll pop you on speaker yeah the team's here yeah oh Matthew
04:18lovely to meet you you're gonna have to speak up I can't hear you can you hear me now still can't
04:22hear um Matthew oh there we go I recognize that voice anyway Ian Randall hello mate how are you let me
04:28guess total systems failure you don't know the cause yet uh you need our help prepping all responses
04:35under all timelines of systems recovery it's a big one and a fun one you nailed it Ian we are in
04:42free fall over here well we'd better get you a cushion then aye oh yeah I've got uh Greta and
04:48Nicole here uh they're actually in the process of taking over the T-Dial account um hi Matthew hi
04:54Nicole here I just want to say firstly that you have nothing to worry about on your end
04:58I need people on the ground how soon can you get in uh yes to T-Dial yes to T-Dial um we might need
05:03a manual uh direction there the man the what the manual what I can be there in 10 uh 7 if I've got
05:10the wind to my back Ian thank god godspeed brother oh um well I should get over there now better do we
05:16have somebody on the ground there hey uh yes but we should have Cody's phone because we're still the
05:20client contact point just where in the world physically is T-Dial Ian we can use Cody's phone to
05:24Uber over well I doubt Uber's up they're a T-Dial client eh that's who we're sending here's the
05:31address what do I do this give it to a genie use my body to bribe a car driving person I'll go
05:39downstairs and see if I can find us a taxi okay what do you know that my name's Ian I like to portray my
05:45best friends yeah right mate let's see no bloody you like that eh but you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna
05:51email I'm gonna call your clients how's that normal don't do that don't do that don't do that
05:54pay Google too late mate too late oh well played Ian well played mate morning Meredith morning Ian
06:14Meredith Meredith Meredith Meredith are you with T-Dial or are you with no I wrote coins from the
06:17reading machine what about grid box what do you have service what service your phone Meredith who's
06:21your provider oh well Bobby set me up with my phone so I presume it's T-Dial let me have a look did you
06:27have service this morning I think so haven't checked since I left the house what are you talking about
06:34how did you get here Meredith I took the bus okay but coffee how did you pay for coffee well I'm not
06:40really a coffee drinker but I did manage to get a hot chocolate this morning with my cafe coupon
06:45oh look here it is okay that's great Meredith but what about your phone oh dear did I even
06:52bring my phone today ah here it is
06:58oh dear no service okay all our phones are with T-Dial and all our computers are with T-Dial our entire
07:07system is down Meredith you need to go straight to Noto to get four sims and a router ASAP what
07:12right now yes the only way we can contact T-Dial is through Noto yes we need you to do that right
07:16now seriously Meredith in the elevator please we need you to do this god damn it what you were
07:26supposed to be kind to Meredith today that's fine I can order her flowers to her desk I'll be there
07:29when she returns I'll just do it right now well I can't do anything
07:34what if we take this cab and you can use my phone to go nice try system to down no just T-Dial I'm with
07:57No Dove oh shit okay done here Cody get in Cody I've got my phone hi love yeah it's me thought
08:06I check in honey I worked late at the office and then systems went down yeah I'm literally using
08:11this guy's No Dove phone to call you it is a man's phone listen he's right here could you uh um yes hi
08:17I did give my phone to this man see that is a man's voice wait yeah thanks I just wasted my one phone
08:25call yeah yeah yeah yeah it's actually definitely killing most of the population or it's population
08:38control but that's the same as this because it was always gonna happen always people are waking up
08:45and T-Dial have been trying to push 5G into us for a reason anything nothing I can't even tell the
08:52time Matthew Ian oh hello mate that was quick yeah had the wind to my back oh this is uh Olivia
09:00Appledorn head of comms nice to meet you Olivia Olivia or Liv is fine Liv it is righto mate come on up
09:09Olivia tell them to switch to backup power the lifts are gonna be offline for about an hour okay
09:18so we waited for you uh Greta and Nicole will be here shortly oh they might have to take the stairs
09:23oh no thank you driver land on our strategy because God knows she don't need to know they were in charge
09:35and Ian was arrived all sweaty yeah I know seven different game plans okay I completely agree with
09:39you but can I remind you that we don't know anything about a fiber optic cell tower Wi-Fi satellite
09:43global destruction outage okay and I can't look any of those words up right now no I know okay so
09:47how much charge have you got oh we'll be fine toggle phones have a great battery
09:50Cody what the fuck is a toggle phone oh it's a cost-effective alternative smartphone from Korea
09:58just maybe conserve that battery just because I don't have time to play to Seoul today to get
10:03you a charge toggle toggle charge okay right are we done one second platypus coin um in the coin okay
10:07just keep the change um I have no idea how much I want okay well we're not from a coin generation
10:10let's go let's go let's go we need to come up with two coherent stories the public need a simple
10:16one with a goody and a baddie ideally the baddie is a cyber hacker or a terrorist or even lazy
10:23subcontractor will do anyone but t-dile brilliant brilliant brilliant what do you mean the elevators
10:30offline that makes no sense oh my god it's so moralizing Cody hurry uh hurry up Cody this is insane
10:38the government on the other hand don't need any of that what they need is a story that reassures
10:44them that they'll be looped into our comms before we go public I wouldn't worry too much about the
10:48government um now that Paula's comms minister she and I uh we go way back if you know what I mean
10:56I do know what you mean Maddie parliamentary prayer room and all that what level is it
11:02what level Cody uh I think it's level 46 oh my god oh my god oh so my phone controls the elevators
11:09does it I don't know so I was thinking we tell her we don't know what the story is yet
11:14uh yeah you can't do that why not because they'll think we're incompetent idiots who shouldn't be
11:22running a phone network exactly well I mean the entire network is down I can't get in contact with
11:28my engineer maybe we should just make a story up so what do we say to that I don't know hurry up Cody
11:34this is insane I keep getting calls well pick it up then never make a story up if you make a story
11:41up it'll definitely be wrong and you'll lose all credibility so without a story we have no
11:47credibility but I can't make a story up because then we'll have no credibility bingo
11:51all right so where are we where are we where are we at we need to come up with something to tell
11:58the minister for communications and the prime minister he's on the line what what yeah I'm
12:04with no doubt word gets around are you serious what chamberlain what have you fucked up this time
12:10uh Tim uh no all under control mate well what's the story then uh well funny you should ask
12:17Jimmy Ian Randall here oh hi sorry to hear about Fritz yeah no worries look uh my two colleagues are
12:26actually running point on this right what's the story hi prime minister it's it's Nicole here
12:32Nicole who um the strategy on this one would be uh well to start with listening to who your phone lines
12:40are down you're running point this is the prime minister if one of them's wearing a dead suit
12:43the other one's wearing something she found on the road is just run some some options and then
12:48we can run them by you as soon as possible well hurry up we can't stream the cricket without any
12:52signal the cricket I'm dead I'm dead oh uh does anyone have a charger of course there's multiple in the
13:02offices outside oh great any compatible with the toggle phone the failed korean smartphone
13:07weren't they removed from the market acid leakage oh I'll just um look I'm sorry do you have a room
13:15or an office that we could go to like a situation just idea some solutions yeah sure um yeah just
13:19just through there wonderful thank you thank you it's really good Jesus Christ my new prayer room
13:25wavelengths are the same as the brain yeah no yeah look it up that's why I read no they stick with 4g
13:34for a reason they're not trying to control us with that 5g but love noto you know the radiation from
13:40the noto towers non-existent compared to t-dial and that's a fact that's an actual fact that's an actual
13:45fact okay okay so do you have a single idea okay so I'm getting this weird feeling where nothing is
13:51coming to me I know that feeling it's called um I can't remember okay uh so the network is down yes
13:56I read an article about what was happening in Iran or Macedonia it was a video and I just went to look it
14:00up on my phone so is this who I am am I the sole product of what this thing tells me to think feel and say
14:04well I just think it's unfair if anyone to expect us to pretend to understand telecommunications network
14:09connectivity when we have no access to our phones I fear my mind is in there wait I have something
14:13what what if the strategy is this today we listen to Ian oh we empower Ian today we give him a much
14:23needed win and the illusion of power yes yes today our challenge is to support our aging colleague who
14:28normally has to live in a world that is too fast and too progressive for him to thrive exactly right
14:33I haven't seen these in years
14:44well be my guest mind if I join you of course
14:55oh there we go don't forget your mate of course oh thanks my brother oh I'm looking forward to this
15:03yeah oh mother's milk Ashwin oh thank god this is Ashwin our chief engineer now tell me there's good
15:14news um well our debugging tool uses the network to work and uh so we can't make it work so the tools
15:24you use to fix the network when it's down need the network to be up to be able to fix the network
15:29that's down when you put it like that uh it sounds bad but usually it works when the network's up yeah
15:37oh hi sorry oh sorry uh do you have a toggle charger for a toggle phone oh yeah yeah I have that yeah great
16:04uh hang on are you a nodo guy too yeah oh smart man oh that's tough
16:13I run a singles night for nodo users actually if you're interested uh we dress up sometimes
16:18we play board games you know nodo things oh great no I I will yeah I just got it
16:27so what you're saying Ashwin is that the server has been hacked um maybe oh well then maybe we've
16:39got someone to blame or maybe not uh we really don't know anything at this point I thought you
16:45said you had good news yes I um I spoke to our colleagues over at uh Gridvox and they're more
16:50than happy for us to uh transfer all our traffic to uh their network and uh until this blows over
16:57uh which is a huge relief for me and the team oh great well let's get on to that uh before you do
17:04yeah idea yep what just uh just spitballing here yep well what if instead we don't do that
17:12what no I think we should probably switch over you know Tim can get back to the cricket I mean
17:18the Wendy's were seven for 24 at lunch what are we in the business of selling here
17:22our phone network wrong we're in the business of selling promises now who has the better phone
17:29reception us or Gridvox well Gridvox everybody knows that so what happens when you switch everyone's
17:35phone over to Gridvox uh everyone's phones will work yeah and what will their reception be like
17:41uh great possibly better better so what happens when everyone sees that their phone reception is
17:47much better on the Gridvox network oh I see our promise to the customer has been broken
17:55we need to be the ones who fix this so true Ian what Ian said so people on respirators rely on our
18:02network for updates uh the dialysis machines if this extends any further we're talking life and death
18:08here Ashwin what Ian is saying is that if they switch over to Gridvox they might as well be dead
18:15anyway because they won't be coming back to us you know in a business sense what about Nodo can't we
18:22switch people over to an inferior network I like your thinking toots Nodo's owned by Saudi Arabia
18:28everything that goes into that network gets sucked up and spat out to the GIP which is like ASIO but for
18:34Arabians but people will die
18:38people die every day but dreams live on for generations kids have grown up dreaming of calling
18:49their friends using a t-dial plan paying t-dial excess data usage fees and maybe even sitting here like
18:57one of you here today as part of the t-dial family if that dream dies here today then we are killing the
19:06hopes of Aussie kids for generations to come and instead delivering them into the hands of Saudi
19:13kids now I don't know about you but I want to live in a world where Australia's communications network
19:21is Australian owned for Australian kids an Australian future
19:27Bravo Ian if we weren't taking everything offshore next year I would use that speech at the Christmas
19:38party word for word mate with beautiful and you you're fired you've destroyed this company
19:45go on go you go on
19:47Ian Ian Ian Ian you were amazing today I just wanted to
20:04I found a charger I found a charger that's great Katie but for now our work here is done
20:34so anyone got any um plans for the weekend
20:41wait wait oh my god it's back oh thank god I've never seen so many messages wait anything from
20:50Bobby about the board meeting no I'm texting him right now okay amazing wait have you seen the
20:55pictures from Bundy's production we can choose the cover of male body magazine before the launch
20:58okay so rainbow ribbon cupcakes have been ordered for launch event next week and I am texting those
21:02barris's and I'm ordering Meredith flowers for her desk you're a genius I will pay and rebook Alex
21:06mangrove and then organize tailoring and I'm gonna get right on that cup or cut out of Bundy for
21:09tonight wow look at all these emails coming through are you getting these Ian no mine's not up yet
21:14us it is you got full tea doll bars oh well maybe the messages must be taking a while to load or
21:19something shouldn't be oh well no I've got one voicemail from your doctor oh um I might just uh take this
21:26outside oh no what's wrong with him he does look sick all the time here we are girls four no-dose sim
21:32cards and an internet router that is great Meredith um I mean we really appreciate that Meredith but
21:38you can dispose of the sim cards yes we love everything you do Meredith but we have zero need
21:41for those sim cards now I think we're doing really well with her I totally agree with you
21:50I love your algorithm oh yuck okay bad news is Anna is still sticking us now into Fritzland
21:59good news is she still thinks her messaging app is secure
22:02well Nicole Kidman the other one have emailed about the board meeting oh fantastic yeah yeah we need to
22:09lock the girls in ASAP before Anna gets her dry skin fingers all over them well of course they go after
22:15the tea doll we've got the best coverage the best ladies do you know where Ian is I'm sure he'd like
22:20to watch Matthew you know he's downstairs Cody Chamberlain do we know what the hackers intentions were all
22:26I'll say is it was an attack on Australians oh my god Bobby emailed he's coming in next week with the
22:33contracts oh my god finally right oh Anna's calling again Dr. Chaley again just an issue with
22:42your test results please don't expose yourself to any stress you think you're so clever don't
22:53you Ian what do I do yes answer it hi Anna hello ladies I think we need to have a conversation it
23:02would be in your best interests look I swear it was a coincidence I don't have that sort of power
23:08oh god so it was a coincidence today I'm gonna ruin your life tea doll your client crashes and
23:13prevents that from happening yes I'm supposed to believe a man who spends his whole life dreaming
23:17up strategies that you didn't I don't know come up with a strategy for that yes that's bullshit Ian
23:22I just thought you might like to know some information I've uncovered obviously can't discuss it over the
23:45phone is this tomorrow 12pm um fine we'll be there so you were saying that you are on Fritz's yacht
23:57let's just say it's a matter of national security but today all of our thoughts and prayers are with
24:05those whose health has been affected by this vicious attack Ian I was having the best day of my life Cody
24:15the best day of my life
Be the first to comment
Add your comment