- 5 months ago
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00:00And what was that meeting like?
00:03I mean, he was really quite charming.
00:05He's not just an actor, he's Archie Toole.
00:08And did he say anything inappropriate?
00:12Well, not at first.
00:14But then?
00:15But then he started asking me questions about my skincare routine.
00:20He really wanted as much detail as possible.
00:24What sort of detail?
00:24Brands, ingredients, how much skin came off after I exfoliated.
00:32It was so weird.
00:34That is weird.
00:36But Roger, he's the biggest star in Hollywood.
00:38Why should our viewers trust your word over his?
00:41Because it's the truth.
00:44All of it.
00:45Since the story broke, we've received even more screenshots of messages sent from the actor's account.
00:51I promise you, that is not my account.
00:53When the women questioned if it was really tall, he responded, I promise you, this is my account.
00:59Anyone could have pretended to be me and sent those messages.
01:01The message was accompanied by a selfie.
01:03It's not someone pretending to be me.
01:05It's me, Archie Toole.
01:06Even if I did send those messages, it's not like they were that weird.
01:10The next message said, I collect human skin.
01:13Okay, so the story is definitely out there.
01:21And the story is, Archie Toole DMs women, they engage in sexual relations, during which he peels, flakes, or shaves parts of their skin that he then collects in a box.
01:29The studio are threatening to Kevin Spacey in.
01:31Well, actually, it would only be Kevin Spacey-ing if he'd filmed part of the movie already, which would be quite helpful if it would give us leverage.
01:35What is a win is that none of the alleged victims were underage.
01:38Good work, Archie. No underage victims. Yeah, good. We attack, right?
01:42Actually, we remove Archie from the spotlight, and we check him into a spa where phone access is prohibited.
01:47Yeah, he won't be able to do any further damage, and we have a great place that we send a bunch of clients called the post office.
01:53Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.
01:58We got this under control. They say these girls are the best in the business. Everything is under control.
02:04By the way, I have been completely fucked on this.
02:06Oh, Spence, you did such an amazing job with Amy's nitrospresso deal, but we decided to give you Archie Toll.
02:11I took out a margin loan on a WeHo condo, and once everything was signed off on, it was like,
02:16Surprise, now you get to fly 15 billion hours to the ass end of the world, because it turns out that Archie is into skin sexually,
02:23which scares the fan base of predominantly children.
02:27Speaking of children, who the fuck are you?
02:30Why do I get the feeling neither of you is Fritz nor Randall?
02:32Okay, so I'm Greta, and this is Nicole. Fritz is dead, and Randall is survived by his son.
02:37And we understand how emotional assault makes you.
02:40We really do.
02:40How tight is Archie's contract?
02:42The lifestyle clause is our problem.
02:44The legal test is, does collecting skin offend public conventions?
02:49That would let the studio drop in from the movie.
02:51Now, the good news is that the studio aren't going to make any major decisions without the director, Jeb Carson, sign-off.
02:57Now, the bad news is that Jeb Carson is an emasculated fedora chode.
03:01We've had to ask his for 14 long lunches just to secure this role in the first place.
03:06He never even liked Archie.
03:08He never wanted him.
03:09And now he's got this.
03:11Fuck!
03:13Okay, Spence, we won't let that happen.
03:16Not going to happen, Spence.
03:16Well, it looks more raised than it does in the reference journal.
03:22Yeah, you'll find that's common in Ginger's weaker genetic selection.
03:26It happens whenever I get stressed.
03:29Have you had any reason to be stressed lately, Ian?
03:32What's this fool?
03:34Wait, where's my chair gone?
03:35Haven't you read New Beginnings, the visual ethos memo?
03:37We've shifted to a more ergonomic seating plan to better align with our moral health mission.
03:41Nothing came through on email.
03:42It's not on email, it's on Juro.
03:44Have you downloaded Juro, Ian?
03:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:46I mean, not, not really.
03:52Where's my bin?
03:53K-box.
03:54Ian, we told you, if you don't place your order on Juro by COB the previous day,
03:58then it'll be assumed that you're intermittently fasting or you've meal prepped your working week.
04:01Ian, they told me you were fasting.
04:03Uh, no.
04:05You have to download it, Ian.
04:06Ian, have you downloaded Juro?
04:07Hashtag yum time.
04:08Juro, Ian.
04:08Juro!
04:09Hashtag yum time, Ian.
04:10Where are your bosses now?
04:11I mean, I've just been usurped professionally by two women.
04:16Not that that's a problem.
04:19It's just that they're much younger than me.
04:22Not that that's a problem either.
04:24It's just that they look at me with this pity and condescension.
04:30Either way, whenever I think about it, I can't breathe and I get this pain down my left arm.
04:41Okay, Ian, wear this band for the next 24 hours to monitor your palpitations.
04:46You'll feel a short pulse at random intervals throughout the day.
04:49Uh, aren't I too young for something like this?
04:52Not really.
04:53People your age drop dead all the time.
04:55Oh.
04:56You can't send mail there?
04:58It's not...
04:59Okay, great.
05:00Uh, Archie, why don't we grab your phone off you?
05:02Yes, Archie, it's so important that you stay silent while we work out what is favourable
05:06about collecting skin as a lifestyle choice.
05:08Uh, we'll organise a car to come collect you.
05:11Yes, and oh, don't forget to have fun, Archie, as well.
05:13Yes, just relax and forget about everything.
05:15Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
05:17You've got somebody supervising Archie this far, right?
05:21Um.
05:21I-I've handled this guy for three days, and there are two things I know for certain.
05:25He cannot act, and he cannot be trusted.
05:32Okay, well, we can send Ian.
05:34He should be in season.
05:35No, no, no, no, no, man.
05:36No, man.
05:36Massive daddy issues.
05:37We need a woman.
05:38Oh, well, where?
05:39And not a woman to be attracted to.
05:40Well, that's us out.
05:41We could send Meredith.
05:43Perfect.
05:43Meredith?
05:43We'll send Meredith.
05:44Meredith.
05:47Now, isn't it, like, Meredith's first day off in, like, 34 years or something like that?
05:51Didn't she go on about that?
05:53Hi, Ian.
05:54Hi, Ian.
05:55Ian, where have you been?
05:56Greg keeps calling.
05:57What the?
05:57Greg from Star Toys.
05:58Your oldest friend, Ian.
05:59Why is my lunch at 3am?
06:02What?
06:02On zero.
06:03Oh, you've set it to Warsaw time.
06:05Well, can you change it back?
06:06You might have to reset your profile.
06:08You'd lose all of your plus points.
06:10But I've just reached silver, too.
06:11Yeah.
06:12I know.
06:13Why don't I just add nine hours to the time in my head from now on?
06:16Great idea.
06:18Shall I let Greg know you're on your way?
06:19The girls are all on top of the Archie Tool thing.
06:22Archie Tool?
06:23Mm.
06:24Why don't you go to Star Toys?
06:26What?
06:27Without you?
06:27Yeah, I should stay here just in case Greta and Nicole need my help with Archie.
06:31Don't worry.
06:32It'll just be a factory fire or child slavery or something.
06:35Huh?
06:36Just tell Greg to use the Ian Corporate Love Playbook Play.
06:41You'll be fine.
06:42Yeah.
06:44Greta?
06:46Nicole?
06:57Yes?
06:58Meredith, so we totally know it's your first day off in 34 years.
07:01Yeah, and you're probably doing something so restorative.
07:03It's a personal day and we respect that.
07:05We're just brainstorming.
07:06Yes, being like, how do we treat Meredith?
07:08How do we let her know she's valued?
07:09So we went ahead and booked you into the post office.
07:11That's a celebrity day spa, Meredith.
07:12Although if you pass an actual post office, we might have a package for you to pick up.
07:15It's like weighted wristbands.
07:16They're like pretty heavy for me to carry.
07:17So that is a tomorrow problem.
07:18Tomorrow morning, though.
07:19Today, we've booked you into a day spa.
07:21That is the point of this conversation.
07:23All expenses paid?
07:24Of course.
07:25It's on us, which is on the company.
07:29All right, then.
07:31Amazing.
07:32Great.
07:32Oh, my God, Meredith, you're going to be totally transformed.
07:34It's going to be like a car wash for the mind, body and soul vibes.
07:37Just to note, though, Meredith, because it is a company expense, you will have to meet
07:40our client, Archie Tool, there.
07:41Yes, and you will have to keep him off his phone because he has been outed for skin-based
07:45sexual deviancy.
07:46Oh.
07:47Great.
07:47Thank you so much, Meredith.
07:48That's...
07:49I think I had a lot of empathy in that conversation.
07:53I've noticed you've been working on that.
07:55Hey, so what the hell was this guy thinking?
07:58Didn't he learn anything from me, too?
08:00Don't do anything weird in the bedroom without an NDA first.
08:04That's quite a special message to glean from me, too, Ian.
08:06Well, the lesson was NDAs work.
08:08This guy should be eating, breathing and shitting out NDAs.
08:11Hiding all his shame and paperwork.
08:14Firstly, that is vulgar.
08:15Secondly, no, Ian.
08:16Actually, I think Ian might be onto something with that, in the sense that he's completely
08:20wrong.
08:21I mean, skin collecting only offends public conventions because it's shameful.
08:24Wait, you're talking a classic reverse frame.
08:26We eliminate the shame from Archie Tool's skin collecting, and wait a second, suddenly
08:30he's totally inspiring.
08:31Exactly, reverse frame.
08:32This is the first time an A-lister has been out and proud from the skin collecting community.
08:35Wow.
08:35Love that I'm writing that down.
08:36That's so good.
08:38He's not out and proud.
08:39He employed us to bury the evidence.
08:42Well, actually, I think he employed us to wage war on the rampant kink-shaming in Hollywood.
08:45Skin collecting's not a kink.
08:48A kink is having sex on a swing or while you think about someone else.
08:53People should be ashamed of some things and keep them hidden deep inside them.
09:00Okay, great.
09:05Well, looks like you know what you're doing.
09:09So what do we think that was?
09:10I have no idea.
09:15I'm going to book in for the Solo Calde golden foot scrub page.
09:43Oh, and the eight-hands massage.
09:46Sure.
09:46And for sir over there?
09:48No, he can have what he wants.
09:50Oh, except for the skin exfoliation treatment.
09:56Sir, we have a no-phones policy.
10:00Oh, I don't have a phone.
10:01It's just I'm an actor and sometimes I think some people think that I have a phone when I
10:04don't just because they see me on screen.
10:06Easy mistake to make.
10:07Well, you can see the phone beside your leg, Archie.
10:09Come on.
10:09Welcome to the Star Toys universe.
10:35Greg, Greg, sorry Ian couldn't be here.
10:38Look, I'm sure he sends his best.
10:40First time here?
10:41Yeah.
10:41How exciting to you.
10:43I'm beautiful.
10:44Every single time.
10:45That's our educational doll range here.
10:48Such a great initiative.
10:50So what seems to be the problem?
10:51This way.
10:52Oh, my niece wants one of these.
10:56No, she doesn't.
11:03Why discuss skin collection when wind farms keep killing whales?
11:07It's a Margaret Cone piece.
11:08I've got her running the what about is a mangle?
11:10That is so good.
11:11Oh my God, and this is Amanda about the listicle.
11:13Oh, perfect.
11:14Amanda.
11:14Hi.
11:14Are you working with Margaret Cone?
11:16I love Margaret Cone.
11:18Ian, I am Margaret Cone.
11:20Well, we're all Margaret Cone, aren't we?
11:22No, like I quite literally am Margaret Cone.
11:24I created her.
11:25She's one of my several aliases that I use to influence conversation online.
11:29But something about her centrist platitudes really resonated with older audiences, such
11:33as yourself.
11:33And then editors were messaging me, me as Margaret, asking me for op-eds and think pieces.
11:37She really took off.
11:39Yeah, yeah.
11:40But I mean, she has gone off the boil a bit in the last few months.
11:44No, that sounds really good.
11:45I was just thinking like eight kinks making a comeback, like shoe sniffing, objectophilia.
11:50Yeah, I mean, something chill like skin collecting.
11:52That also works.
11:53What about eating poo?
11:55You know, like the scared stuff.
12:02No, sorry.
12:02I am still here.
12:03Yep.
12:03Life by this afternoon would be great, Amanda.
12:08You okay, Ian?
12:10Anything you want to tell us?
12:11Okay, girls.
12:12I'm back on deck.
12:12Have you done anything at all?
12:14Oh, we have bombarded our online contacts with our anti-kink shaming campaign.
12:18It's a movement and a perfectly acceptable lifestyle choice.
12:20On the pink feed, we have Nikki Lake doing a deep dive on how skin collecting is actually
12:23a racially inclusive kink.
12:24Yep.
12:25And on the blue feed, we have Dr. Hugh Memphis doing a video about how social stigma affects
12:28the frontal cortex, therefore kink shaming causes brain damage.
12:30Mm-hmm.
12:30And our Estonian design team is doing all the text and animation for that.
12:33Authentic social media presence is all about spoon-feeding influencers, information that
12:36you bought from Estonians.
12:39So, but what the fuck does any of this mean?
12:40Are you following this?
12:42No, and I don't think anyone cares about that failed model turned fake doctor making videos
12:49about skin.
12:50That's right.
12:51Who is this guy?
12:52Ian.
12:53Ian Randall.
12:54Wait.
12:54The Randall?
12:55A Fritz and Randall?
12:57Why isn't he on this brief?
12:58Okay, re-our social outreach.
13:00This algorithm will place the vids in front of anyone who has lingered on your content for
13:03longer than three seconds in the last 60 days.
13:05That's everyone we need to reach to influence the conversation.
13:07Everyone.
13:08Look, those are fancy stats, girls.
13:12But the way I said, we need to be hitting the decision makers, the movie studios, the
13:18Jeb Carsons of this world.
13:20That's absolutely right.
13:22This isn't about whether Brandon Nobody from Butthurt, Ohio thinks that skin collecting
13:27is a new social movement.
13:29Because he's not the one making $300 million investment decisions on movie franchises.
13:35Yes, I am agreeing with this.
13:38I know TikToks are fun, girls.
13:40But maybe we should get the Wall Street Journal talking about how movie studios would be a
13:46lot more profitable if they stop getting so worked up every time a guy jerks it into a pop-land.
13:52I mean, it's fascinating, really.
14:01You know, the lithium bank's just a little bit too close to the capacitors, so the shielding creates a kind of a shape charge.
14:07Shape charge?
14:08Yeah.
14:09Upwards.
14:09I mean, basically a precision hit to the genitals to, uh, anyone who's standing on the board at the time.
14:16Oh!
14:18Oh!
14:20And this is marketed at children?
14:22Yeah, well, that's why I couldn't email you the photos.
14:25But we're following Ian's playbook on this.
14:27We're doing the corporate love method.
14:28Yeah, I mean, you just tell the parents that it's an isolated incident, pay their medical bills while the kids do a factory tour.
14:34And in return, they sign a watertight NDA buying their silence in perpetuity.
14:38I mean, most of them are being delighted.
14:39Okay, well, then what's the problem?
14:41Hold out.
14:42I mean, one of the parents wants to go to the press.
14:43And, like, once that happens, then they'll all know that this wasn't an isolated incident.
14:48It's going to bloody ruin us.
14:50Oh, well, okay, well, um, well, I'll take these photos, and I'll see what Ian thinks about them.
14:56Okay.
15:00Sorry, but what the hell was that?
15:06Uh, what was what?
15:08Uh, you were vibrating, Ian?
15:10The sound was coming from inside of you.
15:13Oh, uh, that.
15:15No, yeah, I've heard that, too.
15:16I think maybe it's, uh, coming from the building or something.
15:19Ian, we're not stupid.
15:22It's okay, Ian.
15:23And while we really appreciate you fully supporting our stance on anti-kink shaming...
15:27It's just still super inappropriate to have a vibrating butt plug up your ass in the office.
15:31Up your ass.
15:32What?
15:33No, no, it's not...
15:34You should probably take the butt plug out your ass, Ian.
15:35Take your butt plug out, Ian.
15:38I mean, it's not...
15:41Bro, take out your butt plug, Ian.
15:43It's not a butt plug.
15:46That's why he's not on this brief.
15:47Sorry, um, what goes into this cheesecake that makes it $265?
15:58Raw cashew cream and sea gel.
16:01Ooh, sounds disgusting.
16:02We'll take three of them.
16:04Archie, what do you want?
16:05Oh, God.
16:06Come on.
16:07Look, can I just ask, what is the most expensive treatment you do here, or should I just add Korean snail mucin to my hair Botox package?
16:25Well, our most sought-after programs are with our systemic family healing guru, Susannah Barley.
16:31And she's the most expensive.
16:33She's the leading healer in the Pan Pacific, and she's $1,400.
16:36Mm-hmm.
16:37Tell my fridge to DM Claudia.
16:49What do you mean, Jess?
16:50Oh, great.
16:50Apparently, Archie's been using his smart bottle to connect his fridge to log into Instagram to DM a full bottle.
16:55Fantastic.
16:55We have zero traction on our videos.
16:57What happened to the cone op-ed?
16:58Okay, it's published online, and so far it has, uh, one comment.
17:01What is it?
17:01Fuck up, Margaret Cone.
17:03Great.
17:03What about the listicle?
17:04Okay, well, they've taken the liberty of publishing two listicles.
17:07Oh, that's great.
17:07No.
17:08Cool kinks and kinks that stink.
17:09Oh, my God, what stinks?
17:10Skin collecting.
17:12Fuck.
17:13Okay, come on, let's get this down.
17:14Well, well, well.
17:15Looks like your butt plug buddy was right.
17:17Oh, well, actually, Spence, the internet is like a complex marketplace of ideas, which takes time to unfold into the play, and it's different here.
17:25It's a long game, if anything.
17:26You're in a southern hemisphere.
17:27You're in Australia now.
17:34Oh, my God.
17:35It's Jeb Carson.
17:40I'm fair.
17:43Well, hi.
17:44Uh, can I take this moment to say you are my favourite male auteur?
17:47Uh, Jeb, Jeb, listen, we are across the online conversations.
17:50I mean, every listicle journalist is a hack.
17:51People know this.
17:52People are saying this.
17:53Also, who cares what Kylie Bland's from, um, um, lacklustre town, uh, uh, uh, Kentucky have to say about kinks?
17:59I mean, what do they know?
18:01I don't care what they think.
18:02Exactly, because you're an artist.
18:04Care what I think?
18:05Yes.
18:06Archie's out.
18:07Oh.
18:09Let me guess, it was nothing burger.
18:11Actually, a disaster burger.
18:13Well, the hoverboard has a defect.
18:16They've been using your corporate love playbook on it.
18:18They're using the corporate love playbook on this?
18:21This isn't a corporate love playbook play.
18:23This is a recall playbook play.
18:25Have they recalled?
18:26They don't need to, except for this one person, Star Toys reckons, the truth won't come out.
18:30The truth will come out?
18:32You recall, you get ahead of the story, you accept responsibility, and you control the narrative.
18:38That is the only playbook to use when you're dealing with kids' genitals.
18:42We cover up the sweatshops.
18:43We do not cover up the sweatshops.
18:45Well, yeah, we do cover up the sweatshops.
18:47But that's only because nobody's ever going to find out.
18:49And even if they do find out, nobody actually cares.
18:52Whereas people do actually care about this.
18:54Cody, why wouldn't you immediately tell them to issue a recall?
18:58Every minute that we're not issuing a recall goes into the court transcript, when this inevitably goes to court.
19:05I messaged you.
19:06You never responded.
19:07Oh, haven't got any messages.
19:09Oh, there they are.
19:11Oh, fuck.
19:12I'm still on Warsaw time.
19:15Oh, the timestamps show that you received these messages nine hours ago.
19:18That's not going to look good.
19:19Oh, fuck.
19:2135 years I worked for him.
19:23It's just, I never got a chance to say goodbye.
19:28He was...
19:30He meant so much to me.
19:32Now I don't even know if I knew him at all.
19:35My heart...
19:37Sorry, Archie.
19:40I can see that you're writing something down there.
19:42Yeah, I'm taking notes.
19:44No, he's not.
19:45Yes, I am.
19:46I'm taking in the session.
19:47He's writing filth.
19:49He's disgusting.
19:49See?
19:50No one ever believes me.
19:51Meredith, why do you think you always assume the worst of Archie?
19:55I'll bet your entire $1,400 fee that that note contains something unbelievably crass.
20:01Like, I'm a stiff little boy and I'm going to peel all your dry skin off and keep it in my ass.
20:06For instance.
20:08Hey.
20:09Archie, can you hand me the note?
20:15Archie?
20:18Archie.
20:20Oh.
20:23Sorry.
20:26What does it say?
20:27We've got a lot of work to do here.
20:38Oh, God.
20:39You know what?
20:40This isn't fun anymore.
20:42Not until the session is over, Meredith.
20:43Oh.
20:44My problem is, Njord doesn't eat skin.
20:53He just doesn't.
20:54Okay, again, there's no evidence that Archie eats skin at this point.
20:56There's no evidence.
20:57You're not listening to me.
20:58With a film like this, you need to respect the origins of the text.
21:01If Njord suddenly collects skin, then the horse has already left the station, hasn't it?
21:04I mean, why not change Njord's name to Njord?
21:06And why not say that Njord isn't a Nordic warrior who watches over the fjord after all,
21:11because Njord is actually a lesbian bartender from Barbados.
21:14You know what I'm saying?
21:15We definitely hear the words you're saying, Jim.
21:17Nobody wants Njord to be a lesbian from Barbados who collects skin, Jim.
21:21No one wants that.
21:21He might as well be with Archie as Njord.
21:23It's not true to the comic books or fair to the fans.
21:26Okay, so sorry.
21:27You want to sack Archie Toole, the actor,
21:29because in your mind he can no longer betray a half-cent or Nordic god who fucks a snow goose
21:33in order to retain his ice powers.
21:36The snow goose is from the original Swedish fairy tale.
21:39We're adapting the manga retelling.
21:40Yes, so I think where we're going wrong here,
21:43Archie is an actor, so he's actually going to act the character.
21:47He'll transform into the role.
21:48Yes, you know how they didn't really find those big blue creatures
21:51to play those big blue creatures in Avatar?
21:53Those creatures were made on a computer.
21:56How dare you talk about those fucking beautiful blue creatures.
22:00I don't want Archie as Njord.
22:01It's factually incorrect.
22:03And I'm the director.
22:04Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb.
22:09Um, okay, so, uh, while we really respect your dedication
22:12to protecting the integrity of the fictional Norse gods in your cinematic work,
22:16ultimately we represent Archie.
22:18So, if you were to revoke his contract in any way,
22:21then we would be forced to use the tools in our arsenal
22:23to punish you for that decision.
22:25Oh, wow, okay, they're doing it.
22:27You're fucking threatening me.
22:32Not unless you're saying you've been extremely kind
22:34to every woman that you've ever worked with, ever.
22:39Then we wouldn't be.
22:40I want you to know that myself
22:43and the Njord Cinematic Universe
22:45stand behind Archie too.
22:47Archie as Njord.
22:49This is an important moment in kink history.
22:51And I'm proud to be part of it.
22:53Because I just love my kinks
22:54because I'm an inclusive male auteur.
22:56Wow, I wonder what he did.
22:58I mean, he's really going for it.
22:59It's probably something quite horrific.
23:01Just got to duck out.
23:02It's something quite important.
23:03Well, it could be more important
23:04than watching us nail the Archie brief, Ian.
23:07What's this?
23:09Oh, shit!
23:10Oh, my God, Ian, what?
23:14It's not a butt plug.
23:16It's a...
23:16Heart monitor?
23:17We know, Ian.
23:18Nicole's grandmother had one
23:19before she died of old age.
23:20We are not letting you take on this brief, Ian.
23:21But Craig's my oldest...
23:23Hang on, you knew it was a heart monitor.
23:25This is not coming anywhere near our brand.
23:26No, definitely not in the Visual Ethos memo.
23:28He's the first client I ever brought to the firm.
23:31He's my friend.
23:32This is a branding issue, Ian,
23:34and that's coming straight from the top,
23:36which is us now.
23:37Your brand might be deformed children's genitals,
23:39but it is not our brand.
23:40It's not our brand, Ian.
23:43See, that's the thing.
23:44It makes so much sense to me,
23:45because she cut my brother's nails
23:47and she cut my sister's nails,
23:49but she never cut my nails.
23:54Oh, look, Archie,
23:55looks like you're back on the film again.
23:57So, they're taking care of you.
23:58What, really?
24:00Yes.
24:01Oh, my God.
24:03That's such good news.
24:06Oh, my God.
24:09I love you, Mum.
24:17Does Susanna Barley have a business card?
24:19Okay, so, Jeb is on board.
24:24Fine, great.
24:25But also, who cares?
24:26Because of this.
24:26Carson, what are your thoughts?
24:28If Jeb Carson is standing by him,
24:31I know the rest of the industry will too.
24:33We're going to fight this.
24:35We don't want this story to just go away.
24:37We need this story to just go away.
24:39Okay, we understand that,
24:40but we've pulled in every favour.
24:41Yeah, Spence, at this point,
24:42all we can do is damage control.
24:44Yeah, exactly.
24:44You can't just bury something like this.
24:46You'd need a whole new story
24:48to blow it out of the water.
24:49Something more painless,
24:51more sensational,
24:52something more explosive.
24:54What?
25:01No!
25:02You can't!
25:03I'm going to hear you.
25:03Get the call, get the call, get the call.
25:04Do it, do it, do it.
25:05Yes, do it.
25:05What is it?
25:06Do it, though.
25:06Hi, Anna.
25:07Yeah, I have the most heinous,
25:08explosive story to tell you.
25:10Don't.
25:10Yeah, two words.
25:11A child eunuch.
25:12I know.
25:14Headline would be good.
25:16I'm so proud of you, Archie.
25:18How do we manage to turn this around?
25:20I don't know.
25:21And now to a horrifying,
25:23exclusive report.
25:24Dream gift or every parent's worst nightmare.
25:28Tonight, explosive revelations
25:30about a beloved toy
25:31turning children into eunuchs.
25:34Anna keeps messaging us, by the way.
25:36She wants to catch up for some reason.
25:37Oh, I think I just ignore her.
25:38I agree with you.
25:41Now, I know you're not a mutilator.
25:43Mate, you know me.
25:44I wouldn't do that to you.
25:45It's not in my playbook.
25:47It went above my head.
25:48Oh, my God, it's buggered.
25:49Time to answer, answer, okay.
25:51Hi, Bobby.
25:52Girls, congrats on the Archie fix.
25:54Handled as delicately as the skinny putzig boxers.
25:57Thank you, Bobby.
25:58Oh, we had one thing we wanted to ask you.
26:00Just when that board is going to ratify our position?
26:01Yes, I just, you know, for our security financially.
26:04Girls, girls, this is a big thing for the board, okay?
26:07For a start, I had to sit them down
26:09and explain what a woman was.
26:10Unlike Archie, they need to make sure
26:12that your talents aren't skin deep.
26:14So, just do everything perfectly
26:16and you'll be fine, all right?
26:18Okay, bye.
26:20Okay, but, um, Bobby, can we just get a...
26:21Absolutely...
26:22What does that mean?
26:24I have no idea what that means.
26:25Oh, my God, she's still calling.
26:26I can't...
26:27I'm done.
26:27Just stick around.
26:29I know, what does she want from us?
26:29We just gave her the biggest story of her career.
26:31No, I totally agree with you.
26:32Oh, Greg.
26:33Oh, no.
26:36Oh, God.
26:37It's so beautiful,
26:39seeing her face with
26:40so many stories etched into it.
26:43Oh, thank you, Archie.
26:45Did you work with Frank for how long, you said?
26:51Oh, around 30 years.
26:55Frank frets.
26:56He's gone too soon.
26:59No, he's had such a good time on his yacht.
27:02Sorry, his what?
27:03His yacht, his super yacht.
27:05His super yacht?
27:07Yeah.
27:09Oh, yes.
27:11His super yacht.
27:12Yeah, it's just an incredible energy on there.
27:15You know, it was, like, powerful.
27:17I just...
27:18His bodies, they always...
27:20It always, like, sparks something in me.
27:23Spiritually.
27:26Physically.
27:27Physically.
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