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Wake Up Barstool | Wake Up Barstool

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00:00:00Yo, what is going on world?

00:00:22Oh, my God. Here we are, guys, in beautiful Barstool, Chicago HQ.

00:00:31This is Wake Up Barstool. Incredibly excited to be here.

00:00:36My name's T-Bob Hebert. I've been in this game for a while now.

00:00:39For me personally, I just got to say here off the rip, guys, this is a dream come true.

00:00:44This really is a dream no longer deferred as we're going to do a morning show on FS1,

00:00:51talking sports, drinking coffee, having fun, and even more exciting, the show itself is who I'm here with.

00:00:57And that's the boss. We're going to start with a guy, Brandon Walker.

00:01:00Brandon, what's up, bro? How are we feeling today?

00:01:01Yeah, I want to welcome all three of you to my show.

00:01:04Nope, not how it works.

00:01:04I was here yesterday, and I decided to add you guys as my crew, and I brought in a new nerd, so I'm just welcome.

00:01:11So your goal to replace Dave Portnoy was to get Connor Griffin in the studio?

00:01:15Correct. Yes.

00:01:16Okay, okay.

00:01:17Connor Griffin is a one-for-one swap with Dave Portnoy every time.

00:01:20How many days are you on the show?

00:01:21A week?

00:01:22Three.

00:01:22Okay, how many days am I on the show a week?

00:01:24Three and a half.

00:01:25Guys, four. Thank you. Count it. That's math.

00:01:28Evan Bosenko, Evo, what's up, man?

00:01:30Yeah, it dreams come true for me to be working with KB on the show because thank God he's here.

00:01:35There he is. We'll skip right over to Connor Griffin.

00:01:38That's a good idea.

00:01:39There we go.

00:01:39Terrific idea.

00:01:40Kyle Bauer, a.k.a. KB. Nosag, what's up, dog?

00:01:44This is my most comfortable role to date. Thank you for having me here behind the scenes.

00:01:49I like to chime in, but I don't like to talk for two hours straight, so perfect for me.

00:01:55Because that's all I do is talk, and Brandon, and Connor, actually everybody up here, I guess that's why we're here, guys.

00:02:02Real quick, before we get into it, boys, how does it feel?

00:02:07Did you ever think that when you started at Barstool that you would end up on FS1 cable television doing a morning show?

00:02:14Yeah, it took longer than I thought, to be honest.

00:02:16Yeah.

00:02:17My number one question is, how long did you stress over wearing that shirt today?

00:02:22Oh, I laid out my clothes on my bed last night.

00:02:25How many outfits did you go through?

00:02:26Probably about seven.

00:02:27Seven.

00:02:28I did do a pivot where I changed into this shirt.

00:02:31It's a foundational piece.

00:02:32I feel really good in it.

00:02:33Yep.

00:02:33And we'll see where the rest of the time, what my wardrobe is looking like on this show.

00:02:37We'll see.

00:02:38Was that a timer pick, or was that, did you have someone take that for you?

00:02:42Oh, yeah, I took the picture.

00:02:43I had to take my phone to my TV so it could get a shot of me in my bed in my studio apartment.

00:02:50But, yeah, I'm ready to go.

00:02:51So fired up.

00:02:52Dream come true, as everybody said.

00:02:54All right, guys, look, we're going to start, actually.

00:02:56Look, it's football season.

00:02:57We got a ton of NFL to get to, especially an hour and two.

00:03:01Number two, a lot of college to get to this hour as well.

00:03:03We'll do a look head.

00:03:04But we're going to start with some drama on the diamond.

00:03:08And it starts with, well, a guy who knows nothing but drama.

00:03:11And that is Raffi Devers as, well, he seemed to have sent the Rockies into a full-blown crash

00:03:18out last night.

00:03:19Check this out right here.

00:03:21Two nights ago.

00:03:24Well, anyway, speaking of drama on the diamond, we're going to get you, Devers.

00:03:27We're going to start with maybe that most intense of sporting crimes, the betrayal of a teammate

00:03:37as Frambois Valdez and Cesar Salazar, very Harry Potter-esque name there, kind of got into it.

00:03:44Wait, wait, wait.

00:03:45Which one?

00:03:46What?

00:03:46Frambois Valdez or Cesar Salazar?

00:03:48More Cesar Salazar because Salazar is a Slytherin, literally.

00:03:51But Frambois Valdez as well could absolutely not be.

00:03:53You got to know that's a Slytherin.

00:03:55They're great names.

00:03:55I've never seen Harry Potter.

00:03:57Come on now.

00:03:58Okay, okay.

00:03:58So here's the setting, okay?

00:04:00Valdez tries to wave Salazar, Rf Salazar is like, calm down.

00:04:04Valdez says, whatever, I'm throwing it.

00:04:05Bam!

00:04:06Grand slam.

00:04:07Okay?

00:04:08Everybody's mad.

00:04:09You're down 6-0.

00:04:10It's that time of year where every single pitch matters.

00:04:14Yankees are hot right now.

00:04:15Astros are holding on, and here's the next.

00:04:18Now give me the next pitch, guys, because that's going to be what makes this a story here.

00:04:25As Valdez sets his own catcher up, crosses him up, and hits him right in the solar plexus, man.

00:04:31I mean, that's on purpose, right?

00:04:32Look at the reaction.

00:04:33It's absolutely on purpose.

00:04:35So the catcher's reaction tells me, I know he did it on purpose, but I'm a professional,

00:04:39and I'm not going to go out there and fight him right now.

00:04:41Yeah.

00:04:41Now, this is insane.

00:04:44This is like the greatest portrayal in sports.

00:04:46This is the two, this is the most intimate relationship in sports, the catcher and the pitcher.

00:04:50What about a quarterback in the center?

00:04:51You put your hands under his butt.

00:04:52That is true.

00:04:53But maybe this is more of like an emotional connection.

00:04:55Not as much trust, though.

00:04:56Yeah, this is more, I would say.

00:04:58I mean, both these guys, if you can't trust your pitcher as a catcher or vice versa, like,

00:05:04you're dead in the water.

00:05:05That's your partner.

00:05:07Also, Valdez walking away right there is pretty concerning.

00:05:10He knew what he was doing.

00:05:12Both seemed very, very like they knew exactly what just happened.

00:05:16Yeah.

00:05:17Bit of a surly turnaround.

00:05:18There was a surly turnaround.

00:05:19There was a surly, I'm going to walk two feet in front of the plate, but I'm going to

00:05:22calmly throw the ball back to you.

00:05:24I would imagine, did they have words in the dugout later or did they go to the clubhouse?

00:05:28How do we settle this?

00:05:30I think you settle it in the shower.

00:05:32In the shower.

00:05:33No cameras.

00:05:33You think you settle everything in the shower.

00:05:34Yeah, I mean, dude, that's because it's the most intimate place for teammates to bond.

00:05:38No cameras, no BS, just meat to meat.

00:05:42Let's handle this like men.

00:05:44Why'd you cross me up, brother?

00:05:46It's not my fault you threw the sinker and they hit the grand slam.

00:05:48You waved it off.

00:05:49I told you to hold up.

00:05:50And then, look, let Valdez get it off his chest.

00:05:52And then next thing you know, you're dapping each other up.

00:05:55We're back.

00:05:56Division race continuing.

00:05:58Let's go finish this game.

00:05:59All you need is a little shower time.

00:06:00You think this brings them closer?

00:06:02Because it forces them into some sort of intimate, some conflict.

00:06:05Yeah.

00:06:06Conflict makes people closer.

00:06:07Yes, exactly.

00:06:08Yes.

00:06:08I would agree with that.

00:06:09I think this is a terrific weapon for Frambo Valdez where he is now, if I'm a batter and

00:06:15I'm digging in at the plate and he's maybe giving up a two-run home run or he's giving

00:06:20up a run or something, I'm terrified.

00:06:22If he's going to do that to his own catcher, what's he going to do to me?

00:06:24He doesn't care about me.

00:06:25Even though if I was a hitter, I think I'd just be like, yo, yo, Salazar, dog, did you

00:06:30see what Frambo said?

00:06:31I mean, look, I don't know.

00:06:32Maybe ask him about it after the game, just try to drive that wedge a little bit further.

00:06:37I just don't 100% get Caesar Salazar as a Harry Potter name, if we're being honest.

00:06:42I hate to go back to that.

00:06:43So, again, the four founders of the-

00:06:45Kyle.

00:06:46I'm being told it sounds more like Caesar Salad.

00:06:49It sounds exactly like Caesar Salad.

00:06:51The premier generic salad, because obviously you can get fancy with a salad and then it

00:06:59can become its own thing, but there are archetypes, there are staples, is a Caesar Salad, the

00:07:05premier generic salad.

00:07:07Look, boys.

00:07:07Yeah, look, look.

00:07:09It's us, family.

00:07:10Check it out, guys.

00:07:11We're not to throw a fit, but do you think we can get Connor and I maybe in a little corner

00:07:14there or something?

00:07:15Oh, no.

00:07:16Let me answer this very quickly.

00:07:18No.

00:07:18Okay.

00:07:19Back to salads.

00:07:20Back to salads.

00:07:23Isn't salad by nature generic?

00:07:26It's just lettuce and some accoutrement.

00:07:28No, yeah, well, the accoutrement can get crazy.

00:07:31Sometimes they do.

00:07:32You can get berries, nuts.

00:07:33I've been into honey poppy seed dressing lately, but it's not something you're going

00:07:37to run into in your general restaurant options is before your burger comes out or whatnot.

00:07:43I love a Caesar Salad.

00:07:44What caused you to run into honey poppy seed dressing?

00:07:47My wife, my wonderful wife, and if you've never honey poppy seed, well-

00:07:52I certainly haven't.

00:07:53You are missing out.

00:07:55Kyle, you ever honey poppy seeded?

00:07:56I got into poppy seeds a bit in the early 2010s, but it's not for me.

00:08:02I like more of a meaty salad.

00:08:04Better to have tried and lost and never tried at all.

00:08:07Speaking of losing, the Rockies lost their mind last night.

00:08:11We got the clip.

00:08:12Watch Raphael Devers send Rockies and maybe Red Sox fans into a bit of a tailspin here.

00:08:20First inning.

00:08:21The bomb.

00:08:22Devers' absolute jet.

00:08:24In front of dozens.

00:08:25It's such a sad scene in the crowd, dude.

00:08:29But look, and he pimps a little bit.

00:08:31Adam Freeland gets mad.

00:08:33Next thing you know, both benches clear.

00:08:37Devers abandons running the base path just to get in the fight.

00:08:40I got to say, though, this is a weak-ass fight.

00:08:44Yeah.

00:08:45There were punches thrown a little bit.

00:08:46There's no punches thrown at all.

00:08:48If you don't make it to second base, that's a good fight.

00:08:51No, we're being charitable to call this a fight.

00:08:53But number one, Freeland, he made a big deal in the postgame.

00:08:58He was like, you can't do that in the first inning.

00:09:00Eight pitches in the game.

00:09:01Why not?

00:09:02He hits a bomb off of you.

00:09:03I understand.

00:09:04We're six months into a season.

00:09:05September is when good fights ought to happen.

00:09:07And listen, I'm more pro-fight.

00:09:08I think we should have brawls everywhere.

00:09:10I've pushed for more brawls at Barstool.

00:09:12I tried to start some.

00:09:13Anyway, he gives up a bomb.

00:09:16His feelings get hurt.

00:09:17It's not about, oh, don't show me up.

00:09:19His feelings got hurt.

00:09:20Yeah.

00:09:21He gave up a huge, gigantic home run.

00:09:23For sure.

00:09:23He didn't like the way the guy was acting, and he threw a fit.

00:09:26And we're going on 150 years of baseball, pitchers getting their feelings hurt.

00:09:31Maybe it's time to just stop.

00:09:33I don't know.

00:09:33I hate so many of the unwritten rules of baseball, but I love when they get broken.

00:09:39Because we do get stuff like this.

00:09:40People get so in their feelings.

00:09:41And to me, that's kind of what draws me to it.

00:09:44The interview after the game was crazy.

00:09:46But at the same time, it is playing out in Colorado.

00:09:50It's the easiest place, typically, to hit a home run because of the elevation.

00:09:54It's the first inning.

00:09:55You're going up against a team that was their 100th loss last night.

00:09:59Do you need to be pimping?

00:10:00I don't know.

00:10:00But still, I appreciate it.

00:10:01Do you want baseball to be like a spreadsheet, or would you rather it be just a giant soap opera

00:10:07like this?

00:10:07Like the unwritten rules.

00:10:08I think you should have an actual fight.

00:10:10Like, I miss the days where the hitter and the pitcher would square up 1v1, and we were

00:10:15getting roundhouse kicks and haymakers and uppercuts.

00:10:18You want Nolan Ryan throwing people in chokeholds.

00:10:20Yes, that was just a performative shoving mat.

00:10:24Well, I will say this.

00:10:25I don't know who the on-deck batter was, but he came out of nowhere and blindside pushed

00:10:29Freeland.

00:10:30And got him a cheap little push in there, to be honest.

00:10:33I kind of like that.

00:10:34If you're like, okay, well, it's time to fight.

00:10:36I'm going to go get one off on the pitcher real quick.

00:10:38I don't mind that, but I don't know.

00:10:40This is a classic September fight.

00:10:42I don't think this happens on May 15th.

00:10:44Yeah.

00:10:44My favorite part was Devers still rounding the bases eight minutes later when the next

00:10:49pitcher, after Freeland had been ejected, was warming up, and he's just rounding her

00:10:54base.

00:10:54Yeah, it did.

00:10:55Took forever.

00:10:56Look, shout out Rafi Devers.

00:10:58Noted psycho.

00:10:59It turns out, though, if you can hit a baseball, you're allowed to be kind of an a-hole.

00:11:05And that's it.

00:11:07Well, you just said, the team's got to deal with it, because Devers can hit.

00:11:10If you can throw one 95 miles an hour, you can be an a-hole, too.

00:11:12Yeah.

00:11:13Yeah.

00:11:13You can do whatever you want.

00:11:14You can throw it a guy, and these things happen.

00:11:17Freeland, Valdez, Divas, one and all.

00:11:19This brings to mind, we just haven't had a knockdown, dragout baseball fight this year,

00:11:24have we?

00:11:24No.

00:11:24Where the bench is clear, and it's just chaos, and they're, you know, it's just going

00:11:28everywhere, and everybody's hitting everybody.

00:11:31Well, there hasn't been a no-hitter this year.

00:11:34I think the first time in 15 years.

00:11:36Without a no-hitter.

00:11:37But we've had two four-home-run games.

00:11:39Correct.

00:11:39Which is shocking.

00:11:41Speaking of knockdown, dragout fights, guys, I don't know if anything causes the

00:11:45internet to fight like college football.

00:11:49Yo, what's up, y'all?

00:11:50Welcome back to Wake Up Barstool here in Chicago.

00:11:53No Barstool Sports HQ, guys.

00:11:55And look, we're huge college football fans.

00:11:58You catch me and Brandon on Necessary Roughness.

00:12:00It's a great pod.

00:12:01Talk everything college football.

00:12:03But yesterday, after week one, a fantastic week one featuring not one, not two, but three

00:12:10top ten matchups.

00:12:11A ton of great storylines.

00:12:12A ton of big wins.

00:12:13Five days in college football.

00:12:14And now, we have a brand new AP Top 25.

00:12:17And there's probably not a bigger disparity between the preseason poll and then the week

00:12:23one poll.

00:12:24Because we actually have football to base it off of.

00:12:26And we've got to open the screen, guys.

00:12:27Go ahead and bring it up.

00:12:29The Ohio State Buckeyes.

00:12:32Now, the number one team in the country.

00:12:33Connor, you're Penn State Nittany Lions.

00:12:35Check it at two.

00:12:36Miles, you Tigers at three, dude.

00:12:38Yeah.

00:12:38Look at us, dude.

00:12:39Shaping up pretty nicely.

00:12:40Good.

00:12:40Georgia four.

00:12:41And then Miami coming in at number five.

00:12:46Brandon, when you see this new Top 25, what immediately jumps out to you?

00:12:52So, what jumps out to me is the three top ten teams that lost didn't fall very far.

00:12:56Texas falls to number seven.

00:12:58Clemson to number eight.

00:12:58Notre Dame number nine.

00:12:59Bang, bang, bang.

00:13:00Right there in a row.

00:13:01I look at that top ten, and I immediately, my eyes go to two teams.

00:13:05Miami at five.

00:13:06Yep.

00:13:06Seems like really high for them early in the season.

00:13:09That was a very good win, but five is rarefied air.

00:13:12Jumping Oregon, jumping teams like that.

00:13:14But then, my mind goes to Notre Dame.

00:13:17I think Notre Dame's in trouble.

00:13:19I think Notre Dame, out of the three teams that lost in the top ten, Clemson and Texas

00:13:22and Notre Dame, I think they're the ones with the biggest question marks going forward.

00:13:26They have a weird bye week this week.

00:13:27Then they get Texas A&M at home.

00:13:29That's going to be a physical matchup.

00:13:32It isn't that Notre Dame lost to Miami.

00:13:34It's that they physically got pushed around at the line of scrimmage, and nobody expected that.

00:13:39Their quarterback played pretty well.

00:13:40C.J.

00:13:40Gardena, I mean, he impressed me.

00:13:42He grew as the game went on.

00:13:44They didn't run with Jeremiah Love.

00:13:45No.

00:13:46They had two advantages, a physical defense and Jeremiah Love.

00:13:48They didn't use either of them.

00:13:50Neither of them happened.

00:13:51I think Notre Dame is a team at number nine right now that's going to miss the playoffs eventually.

00:13:54I mean, South Carolina at ten still looks pretty scheduled, but look at the Irish schedule

00:13:59there, dude.

00:14:00Texas A&M is tough at home.

00:14:02I know, but it's at home.

00:14:03They won in College Station last year.

00:14:05I know that team might have been better, but that was before the Northern Illinois loss.

00:14:08Are we talking about last year or are we talking about this year?

00:14:10It doesn't matter.

00:14:11Marcel Reed wasn't at A&M yet when they beat them last year.

00:14:13Different team.

00:14:14And then we have at Arkansas.

00:14:16I don't think Arkansas is a great team.

00:14:18I think that's a very tricky and tough spot for Notre Dame.

00:14:20At Pitt later this year, I think there's a three-loss team, and it's waiting to happen.

00:14:24I think nine and three makes sense.

00:14:26It's probably a year early.

00:14:27I like what I saw at a car.

00:14:28You reload the lines a little more.

00:14:30But I'm okay with Miami at five.

00:14:32Again, the Canes, I don't think, could have written a script to prove me more wrong on

00:14:36every Miami take that I had.

00:14:38I said they were weak.

00:14:39Carson Beck sucks.

00:14:40They got no toughness.

00:14:41They got no deep.

00:14:43And, well, they had it all.

00:14:44I mean, again, like Brandon said, it's the style in which they won that was so impressive.

00:14:49Connor, how are you feeling coming out of week one?

00:14:52Just in general, I mean, super excited about college football as a whole.

00:14:55My Nittany Lions, great opener against Nevada, very, very tough game.

00:14:59What do we do?

00:15:01But, no, I think in general the storylines are fantastic.

00:15:06Clemson, I mean, Brandon and I talked a little bit about it yesterday.

00:15:09I worry about Clemson a lot.

00:15:11They're going to be able to do fine in the ACC.

00:15:13Obviously, they always do.

00:15:14They pick up the great wins there that are pretty seismic.

00:15:17They dominate the ACC schedule.

00:15:19But as soon as they leave the ACC, they play against SEC competition.

00:15:22They're 0-4 against the SEC in the last two years now.

00:15:25I don't know necessarily if I'm buying into the hype.

00:15:29It's definitely the best team that Dabo has had since Trevor Lawrence.

00:15:33That was – they only had 1.6 yards of carry in that game against LSU the other day,

00:15:37at home, at night, against a team where LSU had lost, what, five straight openers?

00:15:42Yeah.

00:15:42I was really concerned.

00:15:44You know what they've done now?

00:15:45One straight opener.

00:15:47Hell yeah.

00:15:47That's right, Tigers.

00:15:48But speaking of Dabo, maybe a bit of a lackluster week one,

00:15:54here's what he had to say in his media availability come Tuesday.

00:15:59It's like getting the final exam day one of class.

00:16:03They made a 65.

00:16:04We made a 58.

00:16:08Neither one of us were great.

00:16:10Oh, neither one of us was great.

00:16:13Very little on Dabo.

00:16:15So very interesting, in fact, so interesting that Brian Kelly felt compelled to respond

00:16:21in his own media availability.

00:16:23He's either a really good grader for, you know, giving himself a 58, or he's a really

00:16:30hard grader on us, or he didn't see the second half, which that might be the case.

00:16:34He might not have wanted to see the second half.

00:16:37Oh, my God, dude.

00:16:39Dabo, sweetie.

00:16:40Hey.

00:16:40Like, generous grader for 58 is kind of insane.

00:16:42Unless it's an engineering class like that, that's insane.

00:16:46There's a curve on there.

00:16:47There's a curve on there.

00:16:48But grading your opponent who came into your house and beat you at 65 is crazy, too.

00:16:52Yes.

00:16:52That's absolutely crazy.

00:16:53That's what Kelly was saying, dude.

00:16:53But I think this is phenomenal news for Clemson, and I've got to watch my language here.

00:16:57I'm going to be very careful.

00:16:59Because Dabo Sweeney is at his best when he is absolutely 100% full of crap.

00:17:04Yeah.

00:17:04And that is what he is here.

00:17:06Full of crap.

00:17:06LSU destroyed him in that second half.

00:17:09Final score was 17-10.

00:17:10Could have been 27-10 very, very easily.

00:17:12Clemson couldn't do anything in the second half.

00:17:14And he comes out and says, neither one of us were very good.

00:17:16Yeah, one of you was pretty good.

00:17:18And it was LSU.

00:17:19So when Dabo reaches this level of so full of crap that you can't even fathom it, that's

00:17:25when he's at his best.

00:17:27When Clemson was peak, he was peak full of crap.

00:17:30And here he is again.

00:17:31I think it's great news for Clemson going forward, oddly enough.

00:17:35Roll these heights.

00:17:36I mean, Dabo did the impossible, man.

00:17:38He made Brian Kelly cool.

00:17:40In a way.

00:17:41I mean, agree or disagree.

00:17:42I disagree with the word cool.

00:17:44Likeable, I'll give you, not cool.

00:17:46Yes.

00:17:46Nothing is cool about Brian Kelly.

00:17:48I'll be honest, I can't look at Brian Kelly the same since that recruiting compilation

00:17:51came out of him about two weeks ago.

00:17:53Oh, with the same smile.

00:17:54It's a copy-paste of his face.

00:17:56In every single picture.

00:17:57Well, and the spinning picture and everything that he always does.

00:18:00Nothing can happen on a football field that's going to make Brian Kelly cool.

00:18:03Not true.

00:18:04He's right, but he's not cool.

00:18:06No, that was actually, he bodied him.

00:18:08He bodied Dabo, bottom line.

00:18:09But you're using the word cool liberally, aren't we?

00:18:12No, not at all.

00:18:13That was a cool response.

00:18:13He was like, maybe he didn't even want to watch the second half, dude.

00:18:16Look, you know what is cool?

00:18:17Being ranked third in the country, winning your opener on the road against the top ten team.

00:18:21Maybe the biggest win of the weekend, although Florida State fans would probably beg to differ,

00:18:27and I see why.

00:18:28Look at the pull.

00:18:29Alabama all the way down to 21, and fresh off a two-and-tid season, Florida State jumping

00:18:35up to 14.

00:18:36And Brandon, you made a very good point earlier.

00:18:38I always do.

00:18:39You know, broken clock and all that.

00:18:41But the ACC, maybe not as much of a one-dog race as we had assumed going in.

00:18:49So I think one of the big takeaways from college football this season is the ACC, after one

00:18:53week, is way more interesting than we ever thought it could be.

00:18:55Because Clemson has, Clemson, we assumed, was the top dog and was going to just boat race

00:19:00this conference.

00:19:01It was going to be them and everybody else.

00:19:02Maybe Miami had a chance.

00:19:03Well, Miami comes out, beats Notre Dame, physically dominates them.

00:19:06Carson Beck looks really good.

00:19:07And then Florida State not just beats Alabama, but again, physically dominates them to the

00:19:12point where Alabama quit in the second half.

00:19:14Just absolutely destroyed them on both lines of scrimmage.

00:19:17And that is a tough team, usually, to do that to.

00:19:19And Florida State did it.

00:19:20Now you're looking at the ACC.

00:19:22You've got Clemson up there near the top.

00:19:24Miami and Florida State, both in the top 15.

00:19:26Georgia Tech is lurking right there.

00:19:28Louisville is lurking right there.

00:19:29This is a much more exciting league than we gave it credit for 10 days ago.

00:19:32Two playoff teams, maybe.

00:19:33By the way, Alabama 5-5 in Kalen DeBoer's last 10.

00:19:39Yeah, they're dead.

00:19:40They're done.

00:19:40Was he 6-4 in unranked matchups?

00:19:42Yeah.

00:19:42Yes.

00:19:43And I think Nick Saban was like 131 or 2 or something in those same such matchups.

00:19:49So, it is an absolute disaster.

00:19:52They had a players-only meeting.

00:19:53They already had one.

00:19:55Okay.

00:19:55Week one.

00:19:56Week one.

00:19:57Break the glass.

00:19:59Players-only meeting for the Tide, which I'm actually a fan.

00:20:02I'm actually a players-only meeting guy.

00:20:04Week one's a little too soon, though.

00:20:06We should have a players-only meeting during the break.

00:20:08Yep.

00:20:08Okay.

00:20:09So, we boxed out Brandon on that, correct?

00:20:13I was going to let Kyle lead.

00:20:14Okay.

00:20:14All right.

00:20:15Yes, absolutely.

00:20:19Brandon, so you saw it on the bottom there.

00:20:22The college football show is going to be going to Ames, Iowa this weekend.

00:20:25Iowa, Iowa State.

00:20:26We'll get to that in a bit.

00:20:27You were talking about trying to make your way over to Starkville as your Mississippi State Bulldogs.

00:20:33Yes.

00:20:33A really impressive win against Southern Miss this last weekend.

00:20:38Actually, I think PFF created y'all as a top-five defense, maybe the entire country coming out of this thing.

00:20:43How about it?

00:20:44But that's not the point.

00:20:45The point is, Kenny Dillingham, the 35-year-old head coach of Arizona State, coming off a great year last year,

00:20:52making the playoffs, taking Texas to the brink, a man might be feeling himself a little bit.

00:20:59He was talking about traveling to Starkville this weekend, and, well, he's saying they're having some problems.

00:21:07So, interesting is now that we play in a lot smaller towns, we play further away from stadiums, our road games.

00:21:13So, we stay about an hour and 20 hours and 15 minutes away from the stadium this week because that's the nearest hotel that's not a casino.

00:21:21No, that's not.

00:21:23That's not true.

00:21:24That's simply not true.

00:21:25That's not true.

00:21:26We have 10 hotels within a mile of campus.

00:21:28I don't know why when coaches and players go to Starkville, Mississippi, and they're like, oh, shucks.

00:21:33You can't believe it.

00:21:34It's so small.

00:21:35We can't even get a good restaurant.

00:21:37We can't get the hotel.

00:21:37Yes, you can.

00:21:38There's plenty of hotels.

00:21:39We've been hosting the SEC team for 100 years.

00:21:41You can get hotels.

00:21:42I don't like the Kenny Dillingham.

00:21:43I liked Kenny Dillingham until yesterday.

00:21:45Will you be banning him from the Brandon Walker smoking lounge?

00:21:47It is very, very possible I will be banning him from the Brandon Walker smoking lounge.

00:21:50Would he be the first person ever banned from the Brandon Walker smoking lounge?

00:21:53No.

00:21:56Not at all.

00:21:59Generational hater.

00:22:00Kenny, trying to give you a run for your money.

00:22:02Yeah, the other thing I don't understand is a casino thing.

00:22:05Mississippi's like Louisiana, right?

00:22:06You get him on the water, you get him on reservations.

00:22:08Yeah, the nearest one is an hour and 15 minutes away.

00:22:10Yeah, what are we talking about, Kenny?

00:22:11Why are you taking shots, man?

00:22:13Arizona State, like, you might not be that good.

00:22:17And you've been good for five minutes.

00:22:18You've been good for five minutes.

00:22:19You're getting a little out over your skis here.

00:22:21You weren't terribly convincing against Northern Arizona, though Jordan Tyson did have one of

00:22:26the best catches that I think I've ever seen.

00:22:30Go ahead and show me how Arizona State is preparing for the 50,000 cowbells that I'll be

00:22:36ringing this weekend.

00:22:38Guys.

00:22:40Guys.

00:22:40That ain't going to do it.

00:22:41What are we doing?

00:22:43This is like three people ringing a total of six cowbells.

00:22:46That ain't going to do it.

00:22:47And that's like the bells that we give away as party favors at weddings.

00:22:51That's what we put on the tables at weddings down in Starfield.

00:22:53Listen, I am – I'm not going to lie to you.

00:22:57My team went 2-10 last year, right?

00:22:59Yeah.

00:22:59I have been college football dead for about, I don't know, 18, 24 months right now.

00:23:05Arizona State's giving me feeling again.

00:23:06They're giving me life.

00:23:07They're giving me – they're giving me oxygen.

00:23:09I feel like a divorced dad who – I think it's time to start dating again.

00:23:13I think this is a big – this is a big weekend for me.

00:23:15It's a very big weekend for you.

00:23:16If I go out on those first dates Saturday night, this first big game we've had in a long

00:23:20time, and I get my heart broken, I might be done forever.

00:23:23Catching seven at home.

00:23:24I might be done forever.

00:23:25You have to be feeling even more confident about Saturday, though, than that.

00:23:30After that, after Dillingham, after everything.

00:23:31I told him yesterday, I have spent a lot of time on the internet this week.

00:23:36I am going to be on Ames, Iowa for an 8 a.m. show that ends at 9 a.m.

00:23:40I need to figure out how to get from Ames, Iowa at 9 a.m.

00:23:43to Starkville, Mississippi at 6.45 p.m.

00:23:45If anybody out there listening has access to a PJ, that's all I'm saying.

00:23:50Hit your tie up, dude.

00:23:51Get Brandon to Starkville.

00:23:53That's the wake-up barstool mission.

00:23:55Because, you know, flights out of Des Moines, not as often as you'd think.

00:24:00Not that plentiful.

00:24:01Well, there's probably plenty of people leaving the show and going straight to Starkville.

00:24:04I would assume so.

00:24:05Yeah, yeah.

00:24:05You're probably not the only one.

00:24:06You can probably hitch a ride.

00:24:08I'm going to have to find out.

00:24:09Kyle, Des Moines to Starkville, what do you think?

00:24:11Des Moines to Starkville?

00:24:13Yes.

00:24:13Kyle, noted geographic expert.

00:24:16So Des Moines in Iowa, Starkville's in Mississippi.

00:24:18That's correct.

00:24:19Yeah.

00:24:20So we're talking about the flight time?

00:24:21Sure.

00:24:22I can look it up.

00:24:23In the meantime, so Kenny Dillingham's saying that there's no hotels within an hour of Starkville?

00:24:29That's what he said, yes.

00:24:31Yeah.

00:24:31Where would that put him?

00:24:32In Tuscaloosa?

00:24:34Scuba?

00:24:34It's either...

00:24:35Is he in Scuba, Mississippi at the Western Motel?

00:24:39Yeah.

00:24:40Boy, I've been there.

00:24:41He's going to Tupelo, probably.

00:24:44I think he's in Tupelo.

00:24:45He's clear up in Tupelo.

00:24:46I think he's going to the Elvis birthplace in Tupelo.

00:24:48Look, we used to, every now and then, we'd stay outside.

00:24:51We'd just stay.

00:24:51Maybe like 45 minutes.

00:24:52I think we stayed about 45 minutes away.

00:24:54I can't remember exactly.

00:24:55I'm almost...

00:24:55Everybody stays in Columbus.

00:24:56It's 30 minutes away.

00:24:57The point is, yeah, so you want to get out of the college town, right?

00:25:00You know when people mess with you, whatever, whatever.

00:25:02But it's not like you're just bad at logistics if you're ending up an hour and a half away.

00:25:06There's no need to take an hour...

00:25:08What time's kickoff?

00:25:096.45.

00:25:10No need to take an hour and a half bus ride on game day, tighten up your body.

00:25:15That's just bad, Kenny.

00:25:16And it's one element of many.

00:25:18It's making it look like it could go sideways in Starkville for you this week.

00:25:22And we're going to see.

00:25:22I will say this, too.

00:25:24Why not just get giant speakers to blare cowbells at full volume?

00:25:28That's what we used to do.

00:25:29It made all the sense in the world.

00:25:31The graduate assistants or whoever's shaking that, they're getting the best workout of anybody.

00:25:35They basically got two shake weights.

00:25:36They're going for three hours.

00:25:37Oh, my God, dude.

00:25:39I'm tired.

00:25:41Speaking of college football, there's one more story that caught my eye this weekend.

00:25:45And maybe it's a bit biased on my part.

00:25:48It comes out of the Tulane Greenway.

00:25:50Big win for Tulane, beating Chicago's own Northwestern down there in Yulman Stadium in New Orleans.

00:25:55A dominant win from John Sumrall and company.

00:25:58And it was the anniversary of 2005's Katrina.

00:26:01And, well, apparently there was some drama between the two schools about the uniforms.

00:26:08Here's what Sumrall had to say in his post-game press conference.

00:26:10You know, we wore the green helmets today for the 20th anniversary of Katrina.

00:26:16And I'm going to say one thing.

00:26:17I'm not trying to take a shot, but we requested to wear white jerseys because that's what that team wore.

00:26:21It got denied by the other team.

00:26:24That's their prerogative.

00:26:24But when you show disrespect to the city of New Orleans, that's what's going to happen to you.

00:26:30When you show disrespect to the city, that's what's going to happen to you.

00:26:33So, look, I'll say this.

00:26:35Off the bat, I am not naive, okay?

00:26:38It feels very unrealistic that Northwestern would hear the message, hey, we want to wear the jerseys, Henry, Katrina, and say no.

00:26:45I'm imagining this is more of a timing issue, right?

00:26:50Tulane probably asked a little late.

00:26:51Northwestern said no, whatever.

00:26:52But what I love here, John Sumrall knows exactly what he's doing, dude.

00:26:58This is one of the premier young coaches in college football.

00:27:00He's one of the guys that's probably going to be the next guy up to go to the SEC.

00:27:04And he saw an opportunity to ingratiate himself with his people, with his fan base, his city.

00:27:11And my man absolutely nailed it.

00:27:15Like, you love wrestling, Brandon.

00:27:16He essentially cut a little mini promo there.

00:27:19And I thought Sumrall gets – that's what college is about.

00:27:22You got to have your territory behind you.

00:27:25Yeah, it was Mick Foley going for the cheap pop a little bit.

00:27:28Yep.

00:27:28You know, if you're going to – New Orleans is a very – how do you say this?

00:27:32They're a city that's very much about New Orleans.

00:27:35If a guy comes in there and embraces the culture and embraces the city and embraces the 20-year anniversary, he's going to go a long way towards New Orleans and getting fans to love him.

00:27:44I think more so than any other American city or a lot of American cities.

00:27:48So that's big.

00:27:49My number – I do have one concern with John Sumrall.

00:27:52He hangs out with Barstool employee Ben Mintz.

00:27:55Ben Mintz went to his house after this game.

00:27:57Yeah.

00:27:58Yeah.

00:27:58What are we doing there?

00:27:59Yeah.

00:28:00There's actually video of Mintz-y on the field after the game talking about five turnovers.

00:28:05And John Sumrall literally says, all because you were here, Mintz-y.

00:28:09He went there for grad school or undergrad?

00:28:11No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:28:13No, he's an Ole Miss fan.

00:28:14No, no, no.

00:28:14No, he's an Ole Miss fan.

00:28:15No, no, no.

00:28:16Again, he's not.

00:28:17He's an LSU fan.

00:28:18Oh, he grew up in New Orleans.

00:28:19He's an LSU fan who's addicted to free stuff.

00:28:21And everybody in Louisiana gives him free stuff, so he just gets there as often as he can.

00:28:25Gotcha.

00:28:25Look, that man – shout out Ben Mintz.

00:28:28Number one grifter in the world.

00:28:29I don't know how he did in last night's poker tournament, but –

00:28:33Not good.

00:28:33I don't think very well.

00:28:35He just lives a charmed existence, though, man.

00:28:37Everything breaks Mintz-y's way.

00:28:40Like the other night, you know, he misses his flight, and it somehow ends up that some

00:28:45of his best friends are in New Orleans – or in Chicago, so he goes to Oasis and then

00:28:49flies back to New Orleans with him for the Tulane game the next day.

00:28:52John Sumrall has him over.

00:28:54They're widespread buddies, you know, some wiggle worms, chopping it up.

00:28:59Shout out to our guy.

00:29:00What's a wiggle worm?

00:29:01It's so – it's a phenomenon that you see in a lot of jam bands where, you know, a lot

00:29:09of people there take a lot of drugs so that you're kind of like really vibing with the

00:29:12music, and you enter this – you're completely free of any self-conscious feelings, and so

00:29:20you just start to dance.

00:29:21And you really just start to – and so you're not necessarily dancing together.

00:29:25Everybody's kind of on their own island, but it becomes a mass of writhing white people

00:29:30just kind of like doing this right here, just wiggling.

00:29:33Brandon, I'm sure we could get Mintz-y on the program if you wanted him to talk about

00:29:36it.

00:29:36Yeah.

00:29:37Mintz-y will be on Wake Up Barstool eventually, guys, okay?

00:29:40Remember, Wake Up Mintz-y Walk.

00:29:41Are we over to the break?

00:29:42Wake Up Mintz-y Walk so that Wake Up Barstool could run.

00:29:47What's happening, guys?

00:29:48Welcome back to Wake Up Barstool.

00:29:51T-Babe here, Brandon Walker, Ebo, Connor, and KB hanging out with you this morning.

00:29:55Look at this set, guys.

00:29:56I mean, absolutely stunning.

00:29:57You go to all the different camera angles.

00:29:59You've got positive vibes on it.

00:30:00You've got the giant LED screen over there, Viva, chalkboard decorations, everything else.

00:30:07A horse.

00:30:08A horse.

00:30:09Mostly crew, guys.

00:30:10That came from the Mostly studio, I believe.

00:30:12Can I shout out live event Lisa who went around collecting knick-knacks for the studio

00:30:16and got everything ready.

00:30:18I am going to improve on one of her designs here because she had this picture of her dog, Bradley Cooper.

00:30:26Oh, that's adorable, dude.

00:30:27Her little dog, Bradley Cooper, and this picture was buried down here beneath this table.

00:30:33And so I'm going to give him a little upgrade, and I'm going to put him right.

00:30:38I'm going to put him right.

00:30:38Yeah.

00:30:39Well, we're going to find out, and I'm just going to hold him.

00:30:42I'm just going to hold Bradley Cooper.

00:30:43Put him here.

00:30:44Put him here.

00:30:44I'm just going to hold Bradley Cooper the whole time because Bradley Cooper deserves to be held.

00:30:48Yeah, don't hide that light under a bushel, Lisa.

00:30:51Let Bradley breathe a little bit.

00:30:52I like that she snuck her dog in here, but she did just try to hide it under a table there,

00:30:57and I want Bradley Cooper to be prime time.

00:30:59Shout out, Bradley Cooper.

00:31:00I'd like KB to take over his desk a little bit more, too.

00:31:02It's a little too much blotment going on there on a website.

00:31:05I'm not into this.

00:31:07I'm a minimalist, but I stepped on that dog when I was playing Wii Tennis.

00:31:11Really?

00:31:11What?

00:31:12Did it scream?

00:31:13Still haunted by the Elp, yep.

00:31:15There's video, too.

00:31:16It's...

00:31:16What year were you playing Wii Tennis?

00:31:20Oh, what...

00:31:20This was recently.

00:31:22Really?

00:31:22Two years ago?

00:31:23We should play Wii Tennis more often.

00:31:25I'll get the clip.

00:31:25Yeah, I mean, Nintendo Wii, I think I spent my entire freshman year of college drinking

00:31:33beer and hanging my left arm off the couch, because without standing up, you could just

00:31:38do the bowling just like that right here.

00:31:39That's the laziest thing I've ever heard in my time.

00:31:41It was incredible.

00:31:41I mean, not to brag, I also got every star in Super Mario Galaxy, so...

00:31:45I did.

00:31:45I did perfect the sitting Wii Golf.

00:31:48Yeah.

00:31:48Because Wii Golf, you can do the same thing.

00:31:50That's what I'm saying.

00:31:50All you really have to do is just click your handle on it.

00:31:51Also, the bowling is just a wrist flick.

00:31:54You just spit in the ball.

00:31:55It's all just a wrist flick.

00:31:57Exactly.

00:31:57That's what I'm saying.

00:31:58There's no need to stand up, guys.

00:31:59Nah, you need to do the full range.

00:32:00Dude, for bowling, I would create a path.

00:32:03I would have a 10-foot path where I would walk up and do it.

00:32:05Get out of the way.

00:32:06You're a big proponent of this.

00:32:07The Wii Golf did not get enough build-out.

00:32:09Obviously, Wii Sports Resort was a little bit bigger.

00:32:13They needed hundreds of courses.

00:32:15There could have been a 10-game roll-out of Wii Golf.

00:32:18Oh, my God.

00:32:18With courses.

00:32:19I'd still be playing it today.

00:32:20One of the greatest games ever made.

00:32:22It did not get enough build-out.

00:32:23That is a great point for you.

00:32:24You got a point?

00:32:26We just got a passion.

00:32:27We got a point?

00:32:27Sorry.

00:32:27No, I agree, dude.

00:32:29I'm lost in a nostalgic wormhole thinking back to college.

00:32:32We used to get flaps of 16-ounce Tallboys for $9.99.

00:32:37Oh, wow.

00:32:38It was 32 regular beers for $10, 33 cents a beer.

00:32:41That's how I tracked inflation during college.

00:32:43It was $14.99 by the time we left.

00:32:46Sad times.

00:32:46It's a shame.

00:32:47And now you can't.

00:32:47Probably like $80 now.

00:32:49You ever do a 10-cent pitcher night in your day?

00:32:51No.

00:32:52We used to have quarter beers and quarter bowling games on Wednesday.

00:32:56We had penny pitchers.

00:32:57What?

00:32:58We had penny pitchers.

00:32:59Sorry, Bo.

00:33:00How old are you, man?

00:33:01Date yourself a little bit.

00:33:02What is a penny pincher, Brandon?

00:33:04A penny pitcher.

00:33:06It was pitchers that you could get for a penny.

00:33:08Really, they were just tricking you to get you in there.

00:33:10Where?

00:33:10At EMCC or where?

00:33:11No, it was in Starkville.

00:33:13It was at Rick's Cafe American.

00:33:15Yeah, I saw the 17th floor there a lot.

00:33:17Great band.

00:33:18They're based in Chicago.

00:33:19I haven't seen them.

00:33:20Look at that.

00:33:21How the world works, small world.

00:33:22I don't know if there ever was a Rick.

00:33:24I think it was just they took it from the movie, I believe,

00:33:27the 1940s movie Wizard of Oz.

00:33:30All right, guys.

00:33:30Let's look forward to week two of college football.

00:33:32Coming up in hour number two, we got a lot of NFL talk.

00:33:36But as we start to break down the weekend, we have week one of the NFL.

00:33:39Week two of college football is slowing down a bit,

00:33:42but still a couple of crucial matchups.

00:33:45And since the Barstool College Football Show is going to be going to Ames,

00:33:48Iowa, Brandon, I say let's start with the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones.

00:33:52This is a rivalry full of passion.

00:33:54It is one that Iowa has maybe dominated over time, but I don't know, man.

00:34:00I am as impressed with Iowa State through two weeks of this football season

00:34:03than any other team in the entire country.

00:34:06Well, let's be honest.

00:34:06What is the number one commodity in college football?

00:34:09What really drives college football?

00:34:11Is it recruiting?

00:34:11Is it NIL, the transfer portal?

00:34:13Wins.

00:34:14No.

00:34:15It's hate.

00:34:15Yes.

00:34:16It is hate for your rival.

00:34:17It is hatred for the other team.

00:34:19It is hate for losing.

00:34:20It is absolute pure hate between teams.

00:34:23And this rivalry and Kansas-Missouri this weekend has it.

00:34:27This is week two.

00:34:28For everybody else, it's just a calm week, a chill week.

00:34:31We're going to go out.

00:34:31We're going to get an easy win.

00:34:33There's some Michigan's, Oklahoma's out there.

00:34:34There's some other teams.

00:34:35But when you talk about diving into the season and going into pure hatred,

00:34:39Iowa-Iowa State is a beautiful picture of that.

00:34:41And I can't wait to be in Ames, Iowa, because I've been in Iowa City,

00:34:44but I've never been to Ames, Iowa.

00:34:45And I can't wait to see the hatred on full display this Saturday.

00:34:48The big thing here, Mark Gronowski came over from South Dakota State,

00:34:52two-time FCS champion.

00:34:53T-Bot fell in love with him, by the way.

00:34:54Oh, very handsome guy.

00:34:56Very handsome guy.

00:34:57Stunning.

00:34:58Stunningly handsome.

00:34:58Takes your breath away.

00:34:59Walter Payton award winner, dude.

00:35:01Two-time national champion.

00:35:03But last week, I think he only threw for 44 yards,

00:35:06left the game with cramps.

00:35:07He was cramping the whole game.

00:35:09He was so sad.

00:35:10They were really let down.

00:35:11He was let down in his performance.

00:35:13How does he come back this week?

00:35:14Does he rebound?

00:35:15They're going to need him to because.

00:35:17The crazy part about this is the last time he played Albany,

00:35:19he had like 300 yards when he went to South Dakota State.

00:35:21So there's got to be the Iowa curse on him, right?

00:35:23There's something that happens to quarterbacks the moment they sign with Iowa.

00:35:27But they thought this was going to be the difference maker.

00:35:28They thought the last guy was going to be the difference maker.

00:35:30They thought the guy before that was going to be the difference maker.

00:35:32Is it the uniform?

00:35:33Is it the.

00:35:33No, it's the tone set by the head coach.

00:35:35It's the same reason why sometimes they get worried about James Franklin

00:35:38and Drew Aller.

00:35:40Franklin does not.

00:35:41Oh, now you're a different story.

00:35:41No, no, no, no.

00:35:42Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

00:35:45Ferentz is an extreme example, okay?

00:35:48I'm not saying that it's one-to-one.

00:35:49What I am saying is the head coach sets the tone for the off.

00:35:54A guy like Kirk Ferentz, and I played for one, like Les Miles,

00:35:57he's never going to fully empower the off.

00:36:00He's on record as saying there's nothing more overrated than offensive yards

00:36:04in terms of stats.

00:36:05Like he's never going to fully empower the quarterback

00:36:08and the offensive coordinator to let it rip.

00:36:10And maybe Franklin will this year.

00:36:12But I do believe that's what's held him back.

00:36:14But if anybody knew it, maybe Kodal Necky can break through for Penn State.

00:36:18It was his birthday yesterday.

00:36:19Happy birthday.

00:36:20Happy birthday, Andy.

00:36:20Where are you leaning in Iowa State, by the way?

00:36:22I'm just going to keep – look, I had Rocco Beck as my 10th best quarterback

00:36:26in the country in the season.

00:36:27I'm going to fully lean into my bias and hope that I'm right.

00:36:31And I'm going to go Cyclones, man.

00:36:33Gritty tough win in Ireland week zero.

00:36:35And then came back last week in what could have been a trappy game

00:36:38against one of those Dakota schools.

00:36:39And, I mean, just beat their ass beginning to end.

00:36:42So, yeah, I like Iowa State here.

00:36:45One of those Dakota schools.

00:36:48I mean, they're all good.

00:36:49They're all good.

00:36:50So, yeah, there's a million of them, dude.

00:36:53What are you going to do, dude?

00:36:54Somewhere out there Liam is shaking his head at me.

00:36:57But I did want to talk –

00:36:58Liam is not awake right now.

00:37:00Oh, yeah.

00:37:00I just didn't know that.

00:37:02KB, I think you're going to appreciate this.

00:37:04Kansas-Mizzou, the border war, okay?

00:37:08This is a game that has been played 120 times.

00:37:12They have not played since 2011.

00:37:14They've played 120 times.

00:37:15It is 56 to 55.

00:37:18I love that.

00:37:19Mizzou with the edge, nine times.

00:37:20But here's the craziest part.

00:37:23It has bloody roots.

00:37:24Yes.

00:37:25Right?

00:37:25It legitimately goes back to the Civil War.

00:37:28Right.

00:37:29It was the pro-slavery Missourians battling the anti-slavery Kansans.

00:37:35And what's wild is I read this on Wikipedia just doing some, like, whatever, rival research last night.

00:37:42At the beginning of this football series, y'all, they would have actual Civil War veterans on either team's sideline.

00:37:49So, people who had suffered, seen the absolute horrors and violence of actual war, then sitting on the football sidelines and watching the teams do battle.

00:38:01Unbelievable.

00:38:02They kept fighting the Civil War through this rivalry?

00:38:04Through this rivalry, and it goes on still.

00:38:06It's back.

00:38:07After 14 years of being away, it is back.

00:38:10They need to play every year.

00:38:11They absolutely need to play every year.

00:38:13I think it's one of the most underrated, hate-filled rivalries we have in this country.

00:38:17Much like West Virginia Pitt, who took some time off, too.

00:38:20I think they need – I love interstate.

00:38:22Interstate or interstate?

00:38:25Inter.

00:38:26Inter.

00:38:27Inter.

00:38:27Two different.

00:38:28Inter.

00:38:28Which one?

00:38:29Inter.

00:38:30Interstate.

00:38:31Okay.

00:38:31Yep.

00:38:31Two different states.

00:38:32There we go.

00:38:33Good job.

00:38:33I love interstate rivalries.

00:38:35Yeah, I agree.

00:38:37And, look, both teams are good right now.

00:38:40Kansas last year, in the last season, we also are going to start watching them.

00:38:43They came to the first-ever team with a losing record to beat three ranked teams in a row.

00:38:47They did that at the end.

00:38:48They're now 2-0.

00:38:49And Mizzou looks like they could be a playoff team, partially because of schedule,

00:38:53but your boy, Perbula, looked really good there in week number one.

00:38:57So, look, if you want an exciting, hate-filled matchup, as Brandon said, to watch,

00:39:00the border war is for you.

00:39:03What's going on, y'all?

00:39:05Welcome back to the American Constantinople, where East meets the West.

00:39:10I'm talking about Chicago, here at Barstool Sports HQ.

00:39:14This is Wake Up Barstool, and we have video evidence of our guy, KB,

00:39:19in this year of our Lord, 2035, playing, we, was it tennis?

00:39:24Yeah.

00:39:24Prepare to be underwhelmed by what I did and overwhelmed by the drama that ensued.

00:39:31Oh, I can't wait.

00:39:32Okay, okay, okay, let's roll the clip.

00:39:33I've not seen this.

00:39:36All right.

00:39:37So, clearly playing tennis.

00:39:39We already stepped on it?

00:39:41And that was it.

00:39:42Okay.

00:39:44That seemed like a no-volume version, or did you guys hear the volume?

00:39:47Nope, nope.

00:39:48I did not hear the volume either.

00:39:49It feels like the volume was a little, I would say it was probably critical to that clip selling a bit.

00:39:55Here, imagine a shrill wail from a dog, or an even shriller wail from Lisa, the dog's owner.

00:40:00Okay, fantastic.

00:40:02I can hear it now.

00:40:03I barely grazed its ear.

00:40:04It's very funny.

00:40:06Also, I do have to give you credit, though.

00:40:08That was some excellent form.

00:40:10That was some footwork.

00:40:11Considering that this is we tennis, we're just a little flick of the wrist, we'll do.

00:40:15A young Michael Chang.

00:40:17Fully involved.

00:40:17That was the plan.

00:40:19A good setup, too.

00:40:20How do you have so much room?

00:40:21All right, guys, look, here at the end of the hour.

00:40:23Have you not been to the Barstool, New York office?

00:40:25No.

00:40:25Was that in the New York office?

00:40:26That looked like the New York office.

00:40:27Yeah.

00:40:28I don't think they, yeah.

00:40:29I've barely been to these offices.

00:40:30That was KB's weak corner.

00:40:32Wait, guys, look.

00:40:33We only have a couple minutes left.

00:40:34Sure.

00:40:34And so, we have to give our tiniest cast member his teensy-weensy baseball segment,

00:40:40Little Olivo.

00:40:40And here it is, baseball with Evo, Cal Dunper.

00:40:44Cal Dunper.

00:40:45Cal Dunper.

00:40:46Cal Raleigh.

00:40:46Cal Dunper.

00:40:47The big dumper.

00:40:48Home run 51.

00:40:49Okay, two questions.

00:40:50Is he the AL MVP?

00:40:51Will he break the AL home run record?

00:40:54Go.

00:40:55No and no.

00:40:56But he has a case for AL MVP.

00:40:58And I think there's a lot of Yankees fans that are trying to say he only hits homers

00:41:02and therefore he does not have a case for MVP over Aaron Judge.

00:41:05Depending by what you go by, fangraphs, baseball savant,

00:41:09he's one of the two best defensive catchers in baseball.

00:41:12Has 51 homers, on pace for 60.

00:41:14There is very much a strong case for Cal Raleigh in a traditional baseball sense

00:41:17to be MVP.

00:41:18Now, Aaron Judge, over the last four years, is the best right-handed hitter in baseball.

00:41:22Bar none.

00:41:23Clears everybody.

00:41:24He's like the only guy that hits 300 still.

00:41:26Yeah.

00:41:26And I don't want people to be dismissive of Cal Raleigh because Yankees fans were kind

00:41:30of doing the same thing in 2022 when Judge was chasing the AL home run record as well,

00:41:35being like, well, Otani's not chasing it.

00:41:37So I think it's only fair for Yankees fans to acknowledge that Cal Raleigh is worthy of MVP

00:41:42recognition, not necessarily it is a Judge landslide.

00:41:46So you're not even asking, you're asking for the bare minimum for Yankee fans.

00:41:49I'm asking for some damn respect around here.

00:41:52You're just asking for Yankee fans to be like, yeah, Cal Raleigh deserves to be in the conference.

00:41:56I'm asking for the East Coast elites to recognize that there's a guy out in the Pacific Northwest

00:42:00that is worthy of MVP.

00:42:01Yeah!

00:42:02I'm simply asking them to admit there's another guy in the world that could possibly win ALM.

00:42:07Yeah, and there's a third guy if we really want to get in the Midwest.

00:42:10Bobby Witt Jr. has had an unbelievable season.

00:42:13Unbelievable season.

00:42:13B-dubs.

00:42:14B-dubs.

00:42:14B-dub Jay.

00:42:16I have him on my dingers only team.

00:42:17He doesn't really hit home runs as much.

00:42:18Bobby Witt.

00:42:19Yeah.

00:42:19Bobby Witt Jr.

00:42:20Not Bobby Witt.

00:42:21Bobby Witt's retired.

00:42:22Yeah.

00:42:24And Mariners.

00:42:26Yes.

00:42:27Thoughts?

00:42:28Always the bridesmaid.

00:42:29Are we talking about Seattle baseball team?

00:42:30Never the bride.

00:42:30Or just the seafaring?

00:42:32No, just general seaman.

00:42:34Okay.

00:42:34It's a lonely life.

00:42:35You don't like seaman.

00:42:36A very dangerous life.

00:42:38I don't know if I can think of anything more terrifying than being out in the open ocean and not seeing land.

00:42:45Ice road truckers, though.

00:42:45And all you see is the waves.

00:42:47I don't know.

00:42:48I think he's right.

00:42:49Yes.

00:42:49I think it's seaman.

00:42:50Ice road truckers, you still have, well, infrastructure.

00:42:52And you're in a truck.

00:42:53Speaking of, guys, hour one's in the books.

00:42:56Thank you very much.

00:42:57Hour two coming up.

00:42:58And look, the NFL is on the horizon, okay?

00:43:00Our greatest cultural export around the court.

00:43:02We'll bring it all down next.

00:43:04You're on Wake Up Barstool.

00:43:05Yo, what's going on, y'all?

00:43:07Welcome back.

00:43:08Wake Up Barstool.

00:43:10Hour number two.

00:43:11Day number one for us hosting the show.

00:43:13Day number one for this crew.

00:43:14T-Bob A-Bear, Brandon Walker, Ebo, Connor, KB.

00:43:18Great crew here.

00:43:19And guys, it's been a ton of fun so far.

00:43:21Really excited for this hour because we were talking NFL.

00:43:24And the best part about football season is that it kind of introduces itself to you multiple times, right?

00:43:33Football was back when week zero happened.

00:43:36Yeah.

00:43:36Then it was back again with week one last week.

00:43:39On Thursday.

00:43:39Top 10 matches.

00:43:40Back on Thursday.

00:43:41Last and on Monday.

00:43:41Well, guess what?

00:43:42It is finally back once again.

00:43:46NFL's cranking up this Sunday.

00:43:48I can't wait.

00:43:49I can't wait.

00:43:50Look, it's going to get a little fall time, a little cold, at least from my perspective this weekend.

00:43:55I'm making a big, fat chicken and sausage gumbo, guys.

00:43:59And I'm going to be balls deep in that the entire week.

00:44:02And on Sunday, I'm going to be sitting down in front of Red Zone, absolutely wrecking my gastrointestinal system for five to six hours.

00:44:10I might have hemorrhoids by the end of NFL week one.

00:44:13And I cannot wait.

00:44:15I invite them.

00:44:16I'm unbelievably excited, guys.

00:44:18How are we feeling?

00:44:19Biologically, I'm not sure any of that made sense.

00:44:21It does.

00:44:22You eat enough gumbo, you will get hemorrhoids.

00:44:23It's happened to me so many times.

00:44:25That can't have happened before.

00:44:26Yes, it does.

00:44:27You've eaten so much gumbo that you've gotten hemorrhoids.

00:44:30Absolutely.

00:44:31I'm making a big chili.

00:44:33Same thing.

00:44:34Eat enough chili, hemorrhoids.

00:44:35Well, I've never eaten enough chili.

00:44:36Wow.

00:44:37I don't know that I can't eat enough chili.

00:44:39I'll volunteer myself as tribute for the science experiment.

00:44:42If we did want to see how much gumbo or chili it would take, I would.

00:44:46We can stuff you with as much gumbo as it takes.

00:44:49Whatever you want to do.

00:44:51Do you make it or does your wife make it?

00:44:52I make the gumbo.

00:44:54Okay.

00:44:54She makes a jambalaya?

00:44:55Yeah, she's actually going to make, she's talking about making jambalaya tonight.

00:44:59We're just doing all the stereotypical Louisiana things.

00:45:01Jambalaya on a Wednesday?

00:45:02Yeah, on a Wednesday, bro.

00:45:03On a Wednesday?

00:45:04A little taste of home.

00:45:06You slip into a.

00:45:07On a Wednesday?

00:45:08Wednesday.

00:45:09Did it go country?

00:45:10I don't know, man.

00:45:11I didn't think I had a southern accent.

00:45:12We should do a southern day.

00:45:13I didn't know I had a southern accent until I moved up here.

00:45:15Me either, brother.

00:45:16People are like constantly on my ass.

00:45:18Like, I told my kid, like, get back.

00:45:21And the girl at the athletic club's like, get back.

00:45:23I'm like, whoa.

00:45:24You're like 18.

00:45:25I don't know you.

00:45:26What are you doing here?

00:45:27These idiots at this company, too, think we have southern accents.

00:45:29They don't realize if they went down south and saw real southern accents, they wouldn't

00:45:32even understand what they were saying.

00:45:34They don't know, bro.

00:45:34I'll slip into a y'all every now and then.

00:45:36You don't say y'all.

00:45:37Yeah, I'll slip into one every now and then.

00:45:39Why would you not say y'all?

00:45:40Say it y'all right now.

00:45:42Also, my cousin was big on this.

00:45:43He wouldn't, instead of saying, sorry, I didn't hear you, he would just say, ma'am.

00:45:46Ma'am?

00:45:47Ma'am.

00:45:47That's great.

00:45:48Yeah.

00:45:49By the way, guys.

00:45:50What are you talking to a dude?

00:45:52Sir?

00:45:53Okay.

00:45:53KB, are you a y'all guy?

00:45:54I'm not a y'all guy.

00:45:56Really?

00:45:56I grew up culturally more northern than southern, and I think it's kind of forced when people without southern

00:46:01accents or people, you know, from northern states try to force it.

00:46:05Hold on now.

00:46:07My roots.

00:46:07Hold on now.

00:46:08No.

00:46:09My roots are.

00:46:10You are northern Virginia.

00:46:12Correct.

00:46:12That is the DMV.

00:46:13That is not the south.

00:46:14My mom's parents are from Memphis.

00:46:17Okay.

00:46:18But you've been in Alabama, and when we go visit them, I'll tell you what, they love their

00:46:22tide.

00:46:23Yep.

00:46:24They love their tide.

00:46:25Good.

00:46:26I love the fact that they're just having existential panics every single day when they wake up.

00:46:31Now, knowing that their empire has crumbled.

00:46:33Again, Alabama fan, please send me all of your hateful tweets, all of your angry messages,

00:46:39because I have been bathing in them nightly.

00:46:43I print them out and put them in the shower with me, and I rub their body, all over my body

00:46:48until there's no ink left.

00:46:49So please keep sending them my way.

00:46:51Shower seems the heat of your life.

00:46:53Yeah, I shower all the time.

00:46:54It's like my superpower.

00:46:56Like, last night, I was so excited for the show.

00:46:57I think I woke up, like, every 30 minutes, got no sleep.

00:47:00Big 15-minute shower this morning.

00:47:02Bang.

00:47:02Good to go.

00:47:03Good.

00:47:03Right after the show, go work out.

00:47:05Like a superhero.

00:47:05Good shower set for the rest of the day, dude.

00:47:08It's just the greatest thing on planet Earth.

00:47:09KB and I run into each other in the gym showers all the time.

00:47:13Not physically in the showers together.

00:47:14I'm jealous, dude.

00:47:15I don't say that.

00:47:17We do not.

00:47:18We cross paths in there every time.

00:47:20In the gym shower.

00:47:21We had seen each other in the locker room.

00:47:23We did not run into each other.

00:47:25I will say this.

00:47:26So, having joined a athletic club since I moved here that has, like, a nice, like,

00:47:31locker room setup, I one day aspire to be as fully unselfconscious as these old men.

00:47:40I mean, I'm talking, they are just swinging meat, full display, absolutely chilling,

00:47:46not a worry in the world.

00:47:47And it's, it's, the body type of that, it's just age, it happens, but the body type is

00:47:52a bit aggressive, a bit golem-y, like, very wiry in some places, kind of bulbous in others,

00:47:58and yet they don't care, dude.

00:47:59Is that a generational thing, you think?

00:48:01I'm on to, I'm on to those men.

00:48:02I think a lot of them are lifelong pests who finally got, like, the societal green light

00:48:07to just do that willy-nilly, and they kind of get off on exposing themselves to, uh,

00:48:12to the world.

00:48:13Other men in the locker room.

00:48:14Kyle, why does shampoo and body wash smell so much better in a gym shower than it does

00:48:19at home?

00:48:20Hmm.

00:48:21What do you use at home?

00:48:22I don't know.

00:48:23Syrup?

00:48:24You may use it.

00:48:25I bathe in syrup.

00:48:27Speaking of, um, your laptop, thanks for letting me use it.

00:48:29Whoa, whoa, careful.

00:48:30It is covered in what looks to be catastrophe residue, like it survived a natural disaster.

00:48:37Which is funny, because, like, Brandon's not, Brandon doesn't have too many vices.

00:48:43Is it just sweet tea?

00:48:45It's sauces.

00:48:46Like, okay.

00:48:46It's sauces.

00:48:47Okay, okay, okay, okay.

00:48:48There's some Polynesian there.

00:48:49It's most likely some Polynesian sauces.

00:48:51For sure.

00:48:52I went through.

00:48:53Does it seem Polynesian in nature?

00:48:54Yeah, it's Samoan.

00:49:03I went through a stage where I was buying Polynesian from the grocery store.

00:49:07Yeah.

00:49:08And.

00:49:09Doesn't hit the same, does it?

00:49:10Well, no, my problem is I kind of found it did.

00:49:13It was a bit of Pandora's botch.

00:49:14Oh, I see.

00:49:15Because I could put it on everything.

00:49:16Couldn't put the.

00:49:17I got in a bad habit of every time I would cross the fridge, I would get a piece of salami, put it in my mouth, and then just spray Polynesian on top of it.

00:49:25That is a problem.

00:49:26Yeah, but it was so.

00:49:27Oh, God, it tastes good, though.

00:49:28It's a great combination.

00:49:29Salami's a great thing to have in the fridge, though.

00:49:31Yeah.

00:49:32Every time you walk by, just grab two of them.

00:49:33I agree.

00:49:34Two, three.

00:49:35Phenomenal.

00:49:36Phenomenal fridge.

00:49:36Maybe a fourth salami.

00:49:37It could be a fourth, yeah.

00:49:38And every now and then a fifth.

00:49:39I don't know.

00:49:40Maybe not for you, Ivo.

00:49:41I don't want to.

00:49:41You got to.

00:49:42I don't want to pack on too much.

00:49:44Yeah.

00:49:44You know, you might want to stick to just two salamis with your little tummy.

00:49:47Yeah.

00:49:48We can't ruin the teeny weeny baseball.

00:49:49No, no, we can't.

00:49:50Exactly.

00:49:50We can't have you get fat, and then we have no longer have a teeny weeny baseball.

00:49:54All right, guys.

00:49:562025, it's here.

00:49:59We have a resident Philly scumbag.

00:50:02Jackass.

00:50:03On the crew here.

00:50:06That guy right there.

00:50:07Yep.

00:50:07Rosie the Riveter.

00:50:08Connor Griffin.

00:50:11Connor, well, actually, as the defending Super Bowl champion,

00:50:14he didn't win anything, T-Bob.

00:50:16He is the representative on this show of the Philadelphia Eagles.

00:50:19He actually has Harry Roseman's number.

00:50:23I'll allow you a little bit of runway here to try and tell us why your Philadelphia,

00:50:28or if you believe your Philadelphia Eagles repeat.

00:50:31It's really tough.

00:50:32It's a really, really difficult schedule.

00:50:3511 games against playoff teams from last year.

00:50:37That's tied for most in the NFL.

00:50:38Lose a little bit of depth defensively.

00:50:41I still think the offense is going to be great.

00:50:43One thing I do know is that they are absolute psychopaths, and I love it.

00:50:48They're saying in the press conferences, it's contributions over credit.

00:50:52Jalen Hurts himself wasn't wearing the ring, wasn't wearing the Super Bowl ring.

00:50:56Now Nick Sirianni is saying it's banner night tomorrow.

00:50:59They're not even going to look at the banner going up in the sky.

00:51:01They're going to be off the field.

00:51:03That's the rule?

00:51:03You can't even look at the banner?

00:51:04They're going to be off the field.

00:51:05I love it.

00:51:05They're psychos.

00:51:06Everything about this franchise, they put last year behind them.

00:51:10They know it's going to be a tough road ahead to repeat.

00:51:12They're saying, hey, it's over now.

00:51:142020 is done.

00:51:15We're on 2025.

00:51:17I love it.

00:51:17They look at the banner, and they turn into a pillar of salt.

00:51:20No.

00:51:21Connor, that's fake, right?

00:51:22That's just them.

00:51:23That's bluster.

00:51:24That's them trying to appear humble.

00:51:26Oh, we're not even going to look at the banner.

00:51:27Nick Sirianni said he didn't know it was banner night, and when he found out it was going to

00:51:32be banner night, he was like, oh, we won't be on the field for that.

00:51:35They're done.

00:51:36They're treating it like they never even won a Super Bowl.

00:51:38Maybe they just weren't playing to be on the field at that time.

00:51:41I know.

00:51:42I think during the Hall of Fame game, either it was McCourty or Harrison was talking about

00:51:46how you're not even scheduled to be on the field at that time.

00:51:48Correct.

00:51:48So it's actually not a crazy thing.

00:51:50Yeah.

00:51:50And you're taking it like he's just being this humble guy who's got his eyes straight forward

00:51:54for everything.

00:51:54I'm just saying everything accumulating this offseason, pretty much everybody's saying,

00:51:59like, we don't care at all that we won a Super Bowl last year.

00:52:01I don't.

00:52:02I don't like something.

00:52:03I love that mentality.

00:52:03I don't like something.

00:52:04What do you like?

00:52:04I don't like that where Connor, he is an Eagles fan.

00:52:07No doubt he's an Eagles fan.

00:52:08Yeah.

00:52:09But he wanted Sirianni fired in September of last year.

00:52:12I know.

00:52:12I mean, that's, you know, that's Eagles fans.

00:52:14Fair enough.

00:52:15It was a very, very rough start to the season, but you can't tell the story.

00:52:18Two and two.

00:52:19No, but it was bad.

00:52:20Off of the one and six skid the previous year, too.

00:52:22Everything coming together, it was bad.

00:52:24I owned up to it.

00:52:25To be clear, there may be nothing in this sporting world more confusing than the Eagles

00:52:31one and six skid.

00:52:33I mean, they started 10 and 0, right?

00:52:3510 and 0, fresh off a Super Bowl appearance.

00:52:37Everything falls apart, and then they go back and win the Super Bowl.

00:52:40It doesn't make any sense.

00:52:41I will say this year, the start to the season, Dallas, we should wipe the floor with.

00:52:45Okay.

00:52:46But then you go.

00:52:47That seems aggressive.

00:52:48Wipe the floor with?

00:52:49No Parsons, no problem.

00:52:51They had one of the worst defenses in the league last year.

00:52:53Okay.

00:52:54And then now they lose their best defender.

00:52:56Really, really, I'm worried about the Cowboys.

00:52:58That's a brutal start.

00:53:00That's a brutal start.

00:53:01Cowboys, we should wipe.

00:53:03Then we go to Arrowhead to play the Chiefs.

00:53:05Come back home, play the Rams.

00:53:06They gave us our biggest test in the playoffs last year.

00:53:08At Tampa Bay, we never win at Tampa Bay.

00:53:12Lost to them last year, too, in embarrassing fashion.

00:53:14Then coming back home to play Bo Nix and the Broncos.

00:53:17That, I'm saying.

00:53:17That's one of those random things you only know if you're a fan of that specific NFL team.

00:53:22I believe we're one.

00:53:23The Eagles, we never win at Tampa Bay.

00:53:24I believe we're one in six against the Buccaneers in the last decade.

00:53:28Wow.

00:53:28We never beat Tampa.

00:53:29And I really like Tampa Bay this year.

00:53:31But that first five weeks, we started two and two last year.

00:53:34It was really underwhelming.

00:53:35We.

00:53:36The Eagles started two and two last year.

00:53:37It was really underwhelming.

00:53:38Don't live your truth.

00:53:39I think this year, there's a possibility there could be a two and two, three and two starting

00:53:43there.

00:53:43But it won't be a cause for panic because you've seen what this team can do.

00:53:47They return almost all the talent.

00:53:48Again, lose a little bit of depth defensively.

00:53:51But there aren't many weaknesses on this roster.

00:53:52That road schedule is tough.

00:53:54Yeah.

00:53:54Very tough.

00:53:54Yeah.

00:53:55At Chiefs.

00:53:56At Bucs.

00:53:56I always feel like I'm taking crazy pills with NFL scheduling discussions.

00:53:59Because if you win your division, you have a tougher schedule.

00:54:03Right.

00:54:03You play the other winners.

00:54:04Like, it's like, of course.

00:54:06Now, you might get an easier division, like you, at least you get, do you get the NFC

00:54:10South?

00:54:10Or is it just randomly the buzz?

00:54:11We get the NFC North.

00:54:12Because they won.

00:54:13Yeah, because they won.

00:54:14NFC East and North going together.

00:54:15Yeah.

00:54:15And then the AFC West as well.

00:54:16I will say, look at the commies lining up at week 16 and 18.

00:54:21That could be incredibly exciting if Jaden and company could follow up on his.

00:54:25With that Buffalo sandwiched in between them.

00:54:27Yeah.

00:54:28It's brutal.

00:54:28We got to get some better spacing on them.

00:54:30I don't like the Giants, Vikings, Giants, and then Commanders, Bills, Commanders.

00:54:34Like, there's no spacing in between.

00:54:35Well, they want to back.

00:54:36The NFL's done this the last few years.

00:54:37And I do agree with it.

00:54:39They backload all your division.

00:54:40They backload division games more.

00:54:41Right?

00:54:41So that it's coming down at the end.

00:54:43Both teams have a chance to potentially win.

00:54:47Shout out to your Eagles.

00:54:48No longer, though, you know, Cowboys week one, no longer have to deal with Micah Parsons.

00:54:53Yes.

00:54:53As old Jarrah, Jarrah Jones, man, once again, shocking everyone could not come to deal with

00:55:01Pardons, in a day and age where, what would you score pass rusher on the kind of value

00:55:08chart?

00:55:09Like, positionally, like, which would be ahead of it?

00:55:10Quarterback's obviously one.

00:55:11Quarterback one, pass rusher two, left tackle.

00:55:14No, wide receiver three, left tackle four.

00:55:15There you go.

00:55:16I agree with that.

00:55:16Wow.

00:55:16So the point is, pass rusher two.

00:55:18And the Cowboys just had a guy in Micah Parsons, who in his first four years has had at least

00:55:2412 sacks each season.

00:55:25Do you know the only other player in NFL history to do that?

00:55:28Yes.

00:55:28But you tell me.

00:55:29Reggie White.

00:55:30Reggie White.

00:55:31Pretty good company to keep.

00:55:34Also, this is the craziest stat I've ever heard.

00:55:36And this one, I cannot really believe that Jerry did this.

00:55:39Ibo, you'll appreciate this.

00:55:40EPA.

00:55:41Right?

00:55:41We don't need to get into what EPA is.

00:55:43It's just a metric trying to measure how good a player is on a play-to-play basis.

00:55:47On Springfield.

00:55:48It's the environmental protection.

00:55:49Yes, exactly.

00:55:50Yes.

00:55:51Over a four-year sample size, with Micah Parsons on the field, the Cowboys defense was number

00:55:59one in the NFL.

00:56:01With him off the field, in that same period, they were 32 out of 32.

00:56:08You want to talk about a player making an impact, and now you trade him when he's just 26 years

00:56:14old to the Packers?

00:56:16The youngest team in the league, a team you may theoretically have to go through.

00:56:20It seems insane to me.

00:56:21Good for you, not having to deal with him.

00:56:24But, does this lead to further problems down the road?

00:56:27Like, does this make the Packers immediately a threat to the Eagles?

00:56:30It makes them more of a threat.

00:56:32Yeah.

00:56:32There's no doubt about that.

00:56:33I mean, it really, it lifts the Packers.

00:56:34And, you know, I don't, I'm not worried about the Eagles as far as the Packers, but as far

00:56:39as the Packers going through this season, yeah, they're in a very hyper-competitive division

00:56:43that the Bears would be better.

00:56:46The Lions are good.

00:56:47The Vikings were good last year.

00:56:48Like, the Packers needed something to provide a little juice, and they've got it now.

00:56:53This is huge juice.

00:56:54So, putting the Eagles aside, because they do sit on top of the mountain, I think the

00:56:57Packers are comfortably in that two, three, four, five favorite range.

00:57:02I think there were two things for the Packers last year that really stood out.

00:57:05The fact that they really had an inconsistent pass rush.

00:57:07Yeah.

00:57:07Obviously, just fix that.

00:57:09And then on top of that, I don't know, was it the third most drops in the league?

00:57:12The receivers were dropping passes.

00:57:13The receiver was a mess.

00:57:14All the time.

00:57:14Well, they get Matthew Golden in the draft.

00:57:16They finally draft a receiver in the first round.

00:57:18They filled a lot of holes, and they're a team I'm worried about.

00:57:22I think they could definitely make some of those.

00:57:23They're officially worried.

00:57:24Really, really worried.

00:57:25That's how we should preview the whole season.

00:57:27Teams, Connor Griffin is worried about.

00:57:28Yeah, they're number one right now.

00:57:30Are you worried about the Lions?

00:57:32No, I think they take a massive step back.

00:57:33Oh, wow.

00:57:34Losing both coordinators is very tough.

00:57:36Packers-Lions week one.

00:57:38That's going to be so good.

00:57:39Are you worried about the Bills?

00:57:43I'd say so, but obviously that wouldn't be necessarily.

00:57:45Man, the Bills get an I'd say so when they're in the middle.

00:57:47I'm focused specifically more so on NFC.

00:57:50Well, yeah.

00:57:51Bounce back 49ers.

00:57:52Problem or not a problem?

00:57:53Well, we can talk about that later.

00:57:54I don't know if we have another segment.

00:57:56Bounce back 49ers are a very real thing.

00:57:57Okay, let's do this because I want to start to dive into some of these NFL conversations

00:58:01because with the Parts Street, the NFC North, already the best division in football, I think,

00:58:06objectively just got that much stronger, the best pass rusher in the league.

00:58:10So, let's talk about the top divisions.

00:58:12I also want to think about this during the commercial break, guys.

00:58:16What is a division winner from last year that will not make the playoffs?

00:58:22So, go more in depth here, but on average, there's about three division winners each season

00:58:30that ended up not even making the postseason the following year.

00:58:33So, let's get to it next here on Wake Up Barstool.

00:58:35What's up, y'all?

00:58:38Welcome back to Wake Up Barstool.

00:58:40T-Bob Brandon, Evo Conner, and KB hanging out with you.

00:58:43Talking NFL, man.

00:58:45Week one around the corner.

00:58:46Absolutely cannot wait for Sunday.

00:58:49And we mentioned Micah Parsons joining the NFC North, a division that featured three teams

00:58:55that won over 10 games last year, with the odd man out being the Chicago Bears,

00:59:00who have been a bit of a darling this offseason with Ben Johnson, Caleb Williams,

00:59:04looking solid in the preseason.

00:59:06There's almost nothing I've been enjoying more.

00:59:09Probably only, well, since I moved to the city, Jardinera.

00:59:12Hot Jardinera is probably the thing I enjoy most about the city.

00:59:14You talk about Jardinera every day.

00:59:16It's unbelievable, dude.

00:59:17It's just good on everything.

00:59:19You don't even put it on the beef, right?

00:59:21You can put it on every, yeah, beef.

00:59:22You'll just eat it out the jar.

00:59:23Yeah, I have.

00:59:24You put it on salami?

00:59:25Yeah, put it on salami already.

00:59:27That's great.

00:59:27We put it in hummus the other night.

00:59:28That was excellent.

00:59:30We put it in the chili.

00:59:31That was delicious.

00:59:32Hot dogs, yes.

00:59:33Yes, burgers, yes.

00:59:34I bought Jardinera sausage.

00:59:36I came here expecting no spice.

00:59:40Yeah.

00:59:41A blandness.

00:59:42And Jardinera blew me away.

00:59:44It's got a little heat to it, and I like that.

00:59:47So no spice at all?

00:59:48Was that scary to you?

00:59:49Well, I was worried.

00:59:51I was just worried.

00:59:51You know, you hear things about the Midwest,

00:59:53and I was a bit worried about it being a bit bland.

00:59:57What did you hear about the Midwest?

00:59:58That it was a bit bland, that the women were obsessed with sports,

01:00:04which I found to be pretty true in Chicago, right?

01:00:07A lot of ball knowers all throughout Chicago.

01:00:09I heard that the drive was going to be boring,

01:00:13but I loved the beautiful monotony of the cornfields driving up here.

01:00:21Maybe eventually I'll get sick of it.

01:00:24I thought it was fantastic.

01:00:26No, Midwest, big winner, Jardinera's great.

01:00:28My point is, the only other thing that I've enjoyed more since moving to Chicago

01:00:31have been Bears fans getting extremely hyped from the preseason.

01:00:37I mean, they are fully believing it.

01:00:39But they did it last year, too.

01:00:40Yeah, hell yeah.

01:00:41And I assume they're going to play every year.

01:00:42It's like, I'll do it again.

01:00:44But Ben Johnson does inspire some hope, right?

01:00:47Second year, Caleb Williams, you know, they had weapons last year.

01:00:50Caleb just wasn't really there.

01:00:51Like, I get why they're excited.

01:00:53I just, they have gotten preseason excited 100% of the years that I've been here.

01:00:57And at some point, it might be Boy Who Cried Wolf,

01:01:00but I kind of agree with them.

01:01:01Like, this year, I get it.

01:01:02I get why they're fired up about this team.

01:01:05Why wouldn't you be, man?

01:01:06And they put a ton around him.

01:01:07I mean, Luther, I don't think the Lions, I agree with him.

01:01:10I don't think the Lions are going to be as good.

01:01:11I don't think the Vikings have any chance of being as good as they were.

01:01:14So, I think there's opportunity here for the Bears to jump up in that division.

01:01:17Well, what about the Vikings, Brandon?

01:01:18Do you think?

01:01:19Oh, I think they have a bad quarterback.

01:01:21Yeah, it seems like they have a J.J. problem, dude.

01:01:24I was trying to buy in because they seemed bought in,

01:01:26but all the reports coming out of camp is that, you know,

01:01:30look, you back a young guy, it's going to come with growing pains.

01:01:32If you can't hand off every single snap

01:01:34and know what the defense is going to do every snap.

01:01:36But ball's kind of hard.

01:01:37I'll give you guys through week one to jump on the J.J. McCarthy hype train.

01:01:41If you're not on by the next time we do this show, you're done.

01:01:45You're dead.

01:01:45So, you're giving us through week two.

01:01:47Yeah, yeah.

01:01:47Sure, yeah.

01:01:48You get week one to watch.

01:01:49You have until one week.

01:01:50Yeah, you get one watch.

01:01:51You get one watch.

01:01:52Because you boxed that entirely.

01:01:53You get one watch.

01:01:54All right, one watch.

01:01:55You get one watch.

01:01:55Just one watch.

01:01:56Correct.

01:01:57Okay.

01:01:58Not like Cam Coleman had two watches.

01:02:01Entering our one watch, then, I want to look at the best division.

01:02:05So, okay.

01:02:06We're all in agreement.

01:02:07NFC North?

01:02:07Correct.

01:02:08Right?

01:02:08Obviously, look what they did last year.

01:02:10Bears.

01:02:10Hold on.

01:02:11I'm not sure.

01:02:12Last year, I think.

01:02:13That's number one.

01:02:13Yeah.

01:02:14I guess going in.

01:02:15Yeah.

01:02:16Sure.

01:02:17But I think there are other.

01:02:18So, give me your challenger for two, then.

01:02:20So, I think the NFC East has a chance.

01:02:23I think the Giants will be better.

01:02:24I think the Commanders have a chance to keep going forward.

01:02:26I don't think the Cowboys are nearly as bad as people think.

01:02:28And they have the Super Bowl champion.

01:02:29I think the NFC East is right there with the NFC North.

01:02:31Is that crazy?

01:02:33No, I had them third on my list.

01:02:34I had them third on my list.

01:02:35Are you talking top end of this division?

01:02:38Or are you talking about the gap between one and four?

01:02:40Because I think the NFC North, the gap between one and four is definitely the tightest.

01:02:43I think we're just talking about.

01:02:45Sure.

01:02:45Yes.

01:02:46I think we're.

01:02:47No, I don't know if I'm talking about most competitive.

01:02:49Most good teams.

01:02:50Yeah, the most good teams.

01:02:51Who will get three playoff teams this year?

01:02:53Yeah.

01:02:54If anybody does, yes.

01:02:55It would be like that.

01:02:56Right?

01:02:56And so, for me, I mean, I think NFC North.

01:03:00AFC West is good.

01:03:01Yeah, the AFC West.

01:03:02AFC West has.

01:03:03I think the Raiders will be like last year's Colorado, Buffalo's team, where they're going

01:03:07to be in shootouts.

01:03:08A lot of fun games.

01:03:10They may finish 8-9, 9-8, but it's going to be fun.

01:03:13But Denver, year two about next.

01:03:15The Chargers with Harbaugh.

01:03:16And then the Chiefs are out.

01:03:18True.

01:03:18That's a good reason.

01:03:18Okay, so would you take AFC West or AFC North?

01:03:24I know the Browns kind of drag everything down, but you're still hard-pressed to find a better

01:03:30big three than Bengals-Ravens-Steelers.

01:03:32I think, I don't think the Steelers are in that big three this year.

01:03:34I don't, yeah.

01:03:36Aaron Rodgers, I just, I don't, I don't, I don't get it.

01:03:39That ain't working for me.

01:03:40And the Bengals defense, still massive question marks.

01:03:42The Ravens, I think, will win that division once again.

01:03:44I think the West is way more up for grabs, and I think the West is way more interesting

01:03:49than the AFC North.

01:03:51You want a badass Lamar Jackson stack?

01:03:54More than anything.

01:03:55As a starter, Lamar Jackson is 70 and 24.

01:03:59He averages basically 13 wins on a 17-game schedule.

01:04:05Is there, who needs success in the playoffs more?

01:04:09Lamar or Josh Allen?

01:04:10Are two MVP Kings, both incredible, now Josh has been incredible in the postseason.

01:04:17His team just can't get across, but like, either one of them could really submit their

01:04:21legacy if they can break through Kansas City this year.

01:04:23I think it's equal.

01:04:24Who's Buffalo's number one weapon at receiver?

01:04:27I mean, Keon Coleman, Neil Shakir.

01:04:29Kyle, what's Keon Coleman's hometown?

01:04:31Keon Coleman, oh.

01:04:35Is he from Florida?

01:04:37I believe so.

01:04:38Okay.

01:04:38Did I ask you about a home?

01:04:39He went to Florida State.

01:04:41Florida State.

01:04:41Kind of hedged there.

01:04:43Okay, all right.

01:04:44But at one point, I didn't know all of their...

01:04:46What about Dalton Kincaid?

01:04:47You got Dalton Kincaid?

01:04:48Wait, hold on, hold on.

01:04:49Back this up.

01:04:50So, Kyle just knows what?

01:04:52Like, every NFL player's hometown.

01:04:53No, he's from Opelousas.

01:04:55Can you believe that?

01:04:56Louisiana.

01:04:57Oh, hell yeah.

01:04:57Wait, Keon Coleman from Opelousa?

01:04:58I should have known that.

01:04:59You should have known that.

01:05:00Yeah, that's on me.

01:05:01Opelousa is beautiful this time.

01:05:03Oh, yeah.

01:05:03Delicious strawberries.

01:05:05Also, um...

01:05:06I have no idea.

01:05:07Nowhere...

01:05:08I think you might...

01:05:09Nowhere is beautiful right now in Louisiana.

01:05:12It's...

01:05:12Hot.

01:05:13It's demonically hot.

01:05:15I never knew, driving through Louisiana, you would see as many fields of strawberries

01:05:18as you see.

01:05:19Yeah.

01:05:19Didn't know it was a strawberry producing place.

01:05:21You ever had a strawberry beer?

01:05:22Is that where the Beatles are from?

01:05:23No, they're from Liverpool.

01:05:24Oh, okay.

01:05:25Liverpool.

01:05:26Wait, but hold on.

01:05:27To go back, Kyle just has every single Skill Player's hometown memorized?

01:05:30He did for the dozen niche, yeah.

01:05:32It was, like, a fleeting thing.

01:05:34Like, I memorized them as, like, I crammed it for, like, a test.

01:05:39But you could retain it.

01:05:40No, I retained, like, some, but, like, not all.

01:05:45That is un...

01:05:45That's very impressive.

01:05:48Okay, so, we've established...

01:05:50Did we establish...

01:05:51Okay, minor AFC North, NFC North, NFC East.

01:05:54Through silence, I think we've established who we think the worst division is.

01:05:57The two worst divisions.

01:05:58The NFC South, the NFC South.

01:06:00The South.

01:06:00Yeah, they're awful.

01:06:02Are we...

01:06:04For best division, are we overlooking the NFC West this year?

01:06:08Hmm, tip your fingers some more.

01:06:10Yeah, tip your fingers some more so you can appear to be introspective here.

01:06:13No, look, I think that...

01:06:15Boy, those fingers are tinnin'.

01:06:16I think we might be overlooking the NFC West.

01:06:18No, I think that's a guess.

01:06:19That's how you do it, though.

01:06:19You ask, maybe all you need to throw next in is, like, an arched eyebrow.

01:06:25NFC West.

01:06:26The NFC West.

01:06:28Has anybody considered the NFC West?

01:06:30I think that...

01:06:32I'll monocle next time.

01:06:33I think that they are...

01:06:35They've got potential.

01:06:36Are we in a tent-off, by the way?

01:06:37But I cannot grant them the rank of preseason favorites.

01:06:42Though I do like the direction of some of the teams, right?

01:06:44Niners bounce back.

01:06:46Who knows what the Cardinals are?

01:06:48I don't know if anybody...

01:06:48I forgot about Jonathan Gannon completely.

01:06:50I haven't thought about him since that initial awkward press conference

01:06:53with the, you know, the zoom, zoom, shots, explosives.

01:06:57But, yeah, there's maybe a little...

01:06:59There's maybe something.

01:07:00Can I answer that question a little bit more directly?

01:07:01Yeah.

01:07:02No, we're not forgetting about that.

01:07:03Okay.

01:07:03They're not in the running for best division.

01:07:05I just like to spitball.

01:07:06Niners bounce back, sure, but Seahawks, Rams, cards.

01:07:09Sam Darnold with the Seahawks?

01:07:10I don't know.

01:07:10I'm not putting that together.

01:07:12I'm not picking up what you're laying down on that one.

01:07:14And my fingers are super tinted right now.

01:07:16Okay.

01:07:16So, we got to go to break.

01:07:18But when we get back, we'll answer the question,

01:07:20which division winner, maybe likely in this playoffs,

01:07:22continue to break down week one of the NFL here, guys.

01:07:26Hope you're having a great time.

01:07:27This is Wake Up Barstool.

01:07:28Shout out FS1 for having us.

01:07:30We'll be back here live for Barstool Sports Chicago HQ.

01:07:39Oh, hey, guys.

01:07:40Welcome back.

01:07:41Wake Up Barstool here on FS1.

01:07:43Hope you're having a great morning.

01:07:44Brandon, you have children.

01:07:47I do.

01:07:48Four of them.

01:07:49The whole set.

01:07:50Yeah.

01:07:50I got three myself, seven, five, and two.

01:07:54And ever since the move.

01:07:58Yeah.

01:08:00Kyle just makes a noise when kids come up.

01:08:02Yeah.

01:08:03It's like a, yeah.

01:08:05Am I?

01:08:06Can imagine.

01:08:07Mine have been sleeping.

01:08:08And, you know, my daughter's almost about Evo size.

01:08:11And ever since the move, they've been, look, I don't know if it scares a lot of change.

01:08:16They've been coming in the bed with me at night and want to sleep with me, right?

01:08:18Sure.

01:08:19And I used to think it was my prerogative.

01:08:20No, I got to teach them to get back in their own bed.

01:08:22I can't have this.

01:08:23But I'll be damned if it doesn't warm my old man heart to just cuddle up with him in the bed.

01:08:29Yeah, of course.

01:08:29Am I okay to keep sleeping with my kids?

01:08:33Yeah.

01:08:33Oh.

01:08:33Yes.

01:08:33Okay.

01:08:34Yes.

01:08:34Absolutely.

01:08:35The way you said it, no, but otherwise, yes.

01:08:41Do you want to sleep with my kids?

01:08:44No.

01:08:45Good job.

01:08:46You avoided a classic trap here on day one of live television, KB.

01:08:50I'm proud of you.

01:08:52Where's this going?

01:08:53Speaking of traps.

01:08:54Sure.

01:08:54Okay.

01:08:56NFL week one is a landmine of unexpected outcomes, right?

01:09:02Really, the entire season is, as we alluded to earlier.

01:09:05If you look since 2002, on average, you'll have about three division winners that don't

01:09:11just not win the division the next season, but fail to make the postseason entirely.

01:09:16Guys, who was great last year, won the division, and will not even be playing come late January

01:09:22this year?

01:09:23The Rams.

01:09:25Full stop.

01:09:26I think it's the Rams.

01:09:27I think it's the Rams.

01:09:27Not only the, listen, talent-wise, they look fine and everything.

01:09:30We've talked about the bounce-back 49ers and stuff like that, but really, it's just

01:09:34the weirdest of off-season vibes I've ever seen around Stafford and this entire team.

01:09:39This entire team.

01:09:40A, the Rams don't even really seem like they exist until we get right to football season.

01:09:44They're just, them and the Chargers just exist in the ether.

01:09:47But Stafford's just sneaky old, and there's sneaky way too many things happening with that

01:09:52team, and he might be dead.

01:09:55If he's dead, I think the Rams have problems.

01:09:58Looking at this schedule, though, because I had the Rams on my list as well, I had three

01:10:02teams that jumped out to me.

01:10:03It was Rams, it was Texans, and the Lions have to be a candidate with the quarter.

01:10:08Well, I'll let you handle that, Connor, but pretty good start here.

01:10:11I mean, Eagles hard, but outside of that, dude, Texans, Colts, Titans, like, that should

01:10:17be a threat.

01:10:18I know it's the NFL.

01:10:19Nothing's ever as it seems in the NFL.

01:10:20That is true.

01:10:21You can look at an NFL schedule all day long, and you can stare at it and say, well, based

01:10:26on last year, this schedule is this.

01:10:28Well, you can't base anything on last year in this league.

01:10:30You can't base anything on last week in this league.

01:10:33Things change second to second, moment to moment, so I just think, to me, it's a vibes

01:10:38thing, and the Rams feel weird.

01:10:39Well, they feel frail, and it's because everything hinges on a 37-year-old's bat back.

01:10:46Yes.

01:10:46Like, that's brutal.

01:10:48We think he's alive.

01:10:48Yes, he's like, which President Trump got confirmed alive yesterday, I believe, so if

01:10:53we could get a Matt Stafford confirmation, that would be great as well.

01:10:59Look at this, guys.

01:11:00So here we go.

01:11:01Long odds, Super Bowl teams.

01:11:04We came up with the game.

01:11:05You have to choose a team that's plus 2,000.

01:11:08Which of these teams will end up lifting Lombardi?

01:11:12Evo, what do you got?

01:11:15Brandon, plug your ears.

01:11:16It's the Minnesota Vikings.

01:11:18They got a rookie on a QB on a rookie contract.

01:11:22They were good last year.

01:11:23They have the QB Whisperer in KOC.

01:11:25I think the Vikings are very frisky to win the NFC North and be very competitive.

01:11:29Okay, so plus 2,800 there for the Vikings.

01:11:32Connor?

01:11:33I got to go with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the team I was just talking about a couple

01:11:36segments ago as a team.

01:11:37The Eagles can never get past.

01:11:39Baker Mayfield had the best year of his career last year.

01:11:42Yep.

01:11:43Third in the league in passing yards, tied for second for passing touchdowns.

01:11:47He's playing the best he's ever played.

01:11:48Really found like a good niche in Tampa Bay.

01:11:52They still have Evans.

01:11:53They still have Godwin, who's questionable.

01:11:54He's a bit injured right now.

01:11:55But they did get a Bucca in the draft.

01:11:57They get Ted Johnson.

01:11:58I think defensively, they still got some real star playmakers.

01:12:01I really like Tampa.

01:12:03Also, pretty like middle-of-the-road schedule in terms of strength of schedule.

01:12:07I think they could have a really good year.

01:12:08Wait, why are you sighing, Brandon?

01:12:11Because this man to our left, T-Bob Hebert, asked for long shots to win the goal.

01:12:17You chose a team that went 14-3 last year.

01:12:19You chose...

01:12:20And...

01:12:20Don't you sit up on me.

01:12:21Don't point your finger at me.

01:12:22No, no.

01:12:22The rule was plus 2,000.

01:12:24That's fine.

01:12:25That was...

01:12:25Plus 2,500.

01:12:27I'm not going to come out and say the Carolina Panthers.

01:12:28You both chose playoff teams.

01:12:29You think J.J. McCarthy stinks.

01:12:31You both chose playoff teams, and you chose a team that went 14-3 last year.

01:12:35The answer...

01:12:36The answer for this.

01:12:38Do some long odds.

01:12:39It's the Dallas Cowboys.

01:12:40Oh, my God.

01:12:41No, no, no.

01:12:42There's an obvious...

01:12:43Dak Prescott.

01:12:43There is an obvious answer on this list.

01:12:45He's kind of got a point.

01:12:46He might have a point.

01:12:47He might have a point.

01:12:48The Dallas Cowboys.

01:12:49This is...

01:12:50They are in the headlines for the wrong reasons right now.

01:12:52Remember when Bryce Harper left the Washington Nationals?

01:12:55Remember that?

01:12:55Huh?

01:12:56You know what happened right after that?

01:12:57They won the World Series.

01:12:58Okay.

01:12:59Micah Parsons is gone.

01:13:00They've still got some players there.

01:13:02Dak Prescott is coming back.

01:13:03He puts up numbers.

01:13:05He's got weapons again.

01:13:06He's got more weapons than he had last year.

01:13:08The Cowboys are not going to win the Super Bowl.

01:13:10But if I'm picking long odds here, somebody that can win the Super Bowl,

01:13:13they are a lot closer to being good than they are to being bad.

01:13:16The Dallas Cowboys.

01:13:17Guys, there's such an obvious answer here.

01:13:19We still haven't got it.

01:13:20Let's see if KB can hit it.

01:13:21KB, what you got?

01:13:22You got a long odds.

01:13:22The only thing I can say is that the Indianapolis Colts are going to go 9-8.

01:13:26Yes, yes.

01:13:27Absolutely.

01:13:28Who are...

01:13:29I always forget where we're at with the Colts.

01:13:32They've given up on Anthony Richardson.

01:13:33He's hurt again.

01:13:34And he's...

01:13:35Who is?

01:13:35So who's the quarterback now?

01:13:37You know who it is, right?

01:13:39It's Daniel Jones.

01:13:40Oh, yeah.

01:13:41That's right.

01:13:41Danny Dimes.

01:13:42Yeah.

01:13:43Can't keep a good man down, dude.

01:13:45Screw you, Dayball.

01:13:47No, guys.

01:13:47Come on.

01:13:48Tyler Warren, though.

01:13:49Guys, look at this list.

01:13:50Tell me the answer.

01:13:51Oh, I would...

01:13:52If I had to be honest, I would go with the Bengals.

01:13:54Yes.

01:13:55KB, thank you.

01:13:56I think Joe Burrow is the closest thing we have to a deity on Earth.

01:13:59Yes.

01:14:00I think he is quite possibly the perfect man.

01:14:03How does he compare to Justin Herbert?

01:14:05Yeah, that's a great question.

01:14:06From that perspective.

01:14:07Okay, let's...

01:14:08I want to set the scene here.

01:14:09Father and the Holy Spirit.

01:14:13They're one and the same.

01:14:14A bit paradoxical.

01:14:16KB had maybe the greatest take of all time the other day, where...

01:14:19What was it?

01:14:20Madison Beer and Justin Herbert?

01:14:21Yep.

01:14:22Where it announces being a couple, and people are like, whoa, good for Herbert.

01:14:24How'd he pull that off?

01:14:25And KB, how would you say that Justin Herbert was able to pull that off?

01:14:31Like Burrow, he is closer to deity than man.

01:14:35He's 6'6".

01:14:36Like I said, he is unbelievably sexy.

01:14:42And he's an elite quarterback.

01:14:43And I'm a quarterback respecter.

01:14:45I'm an NFL quarterback respecter.

01:14:47I think that's the most impressive position in anything.

01:14:53They are tightrope walkers.

01:14:55They are bomb technicians.

01:14:57They are bamboo in the wind.

01:14:59They are fighter pilots.

01:15:00It's the poise, the composure, the acuity, the resilience, on top of the skills it takes

01:15:08to be a quarterback.

01:15:10Yeah.

01:15:10No, what's your saying?

01:15:11All of the athleticism, the scrambling, the arm strength, the accuracy, the leadership,

01:15:15in front of fans, tens and tens of thousands, who are fully ready to hate your guts and dismiss

01:15:24you as scum.

01:15:25How many NFL fan bases do you all think are cool with their quarterback?

01:15:30Oh, man.

01:15:32That's a better question than any you've asked today.

01:15:34Like, do not pine for another quarterback.

01:15:36All right.

01:15:37Well, let's just not.

01:15:38Chiefs, Ravens, Bills.

01:15:41Broncos, Bengals.

01:15:43Chargers.

01:15:45I think even those quarterbacks are kind of, they hang by a thread sometimes.

01:15:49Herbert this year, people might turn.

01:15:51Maybe if he doesn't live up to expectations, people might turn.

01:15:54Yes, well, maybe rightfully so, but I think Harbaugh is setting him up to be, like, losing

01:15:58Rashawn Slater is absolutely brutal.

01:16:00The charges, that kind of changed everything for me.

01:16:02Let's just, okay, we don't have to do a Super Raw counting.

01:16:05Is it fair to say 10 is?

01:16:08I'd say a third of the league.

01:16:09A third of the league.

01:16:10Okay, so let's say 10 teams.

01:16:12To KB's point, that means that there are 10 human beings on the planet that possess the

01:16:18mental and physical combination of skills to be able to do that.

01:16:22And even then, like he said, there's like a big five that exists even outside of that.

01:16:27And that's why Joe Burrow's the answer here.

01:16:29Because he is one of those.

01:16:31He is one of the five.

01:16:33The Adonis.

01:16:34The deity.

01:16:35The demigod.

01:16:36Half-gon, half-man.

01:16:38Burowana.

01:16:39Or I guess his name was Maui.

01:16:40Moana was.

01:16:41It doesn't matter.

01:16:41The point is, the Bengals just made the Super Bowl a little bit ago.

01:16:44Team's essentially the same.

01:16:46As long as you have the quarterback, you are on your way.

01:16:49That's a bet you should place, guys.

01:16:51Plus 2,500.

01:16:52Shout out.

01:16:53Cincinnati Bengals.

01:16:54If we go to the lowest odds.

01:16:55Is there anyone on the second page that you think is even like in contention?

01:16:59So this is the.

01:17:01So I don't know if I want to.

01:17:03I don't think any of these teams are capable.

01:17:06But my God, what has happened to my Saints?

01:17:09I think the Giants could be a lot better than the odds indicate.

01:17:13I would agree with that.

01:17:14I don't.

01:17:14They can't win a Super Bowl.

01:17:15And maybe they can't make.

01:17:16I think they're better than those odds indicate.

01:17:18I don't think they should be with the Panthers and the Titans and teams like that.

01:17:23The Jets are the third worst odds league at plus 25,000.

01:17:26And the Saints are at plus 50,000.

01:17:28Yeah.

01:17:29I mean.

01:17:30What?

01:17:31Like.

01:17:31That means they're telling you they're not just bad.

01:17:34They're a group of five teams.

01:17:36Yeah.

01:17:36Get ready, T-Bone.

01:17:36Hold on.

01:17:37It's going to be a fun year.

01:17:39Now hold on.

01:17:39Chill out.

01:17:40No JMU talk yet.

01:17:42We'll get this to the group of five.

01:17:44Look, you'll have your day Friday.

01:17:45Okay.

01:17:45We'll do some JMU talk maybe Friday.

01:17:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:47He's not going to be here.

01:17:48Okay.

01:17:49Big one against Louisville Friday.

01:17:50There it was.

01:17:52Brandon.

01:17:52That's some G5.

01:17:53Speaking of being happy with quarterbacks.

01:17:54Yeah.

01:17:55There's one badass quarterback that I believe his attitude and tangibles score off the charts.

01:18:01Maybe the stats don't.

01:18:03And that's Jalen Hurts.

01:18:04Sure.

01:18:05Do you think Eagles fans appreciate.

01:18:06Oh, I should have said Jalen Hurts.

01:18:07Do you think Eagles fans appreciate what they have in Jalen Hurts?

01:18:10So, in as much as Eagles fans and Philly fans can appreciate anything, yes.

01:18:15They appreciate that he won a Super Bowl.

01:18:16They appreciate.

01:18:17Now, if he has two bad games where he throws three interceptions and two interceptions, they

01:18:21lose both games.

01:18:22He's immediately a bum.

01:18:23He's immediately that guy they hate.

01:18:25Because they are grown and they are bred to hate their coach, their GM, their players.

01:18:31So, if you're in Philadelphia, even if you win the Super Bowl, you are never more than three

01:18:37weeks away from getting booed off the field.

01:18:39I think it would take one.

01:18:40If he was immediately very bad in his first game, they would find his mother and spit on

01:18:46her.

01:18:46Yeah.

01:18:47That's how they treat their stars.

01:18:49I mean, there was.

01:18:50But I love them.

01:18:51And I love that about them.

01:18:52I love you, Kim.

01:18:53And I hate that about them.

01:18:54I hate that about them.

01:18:55I won't even pretend to love it.

01:18:56I think Philadelphia fans buy way too much into the, we're the bad guys.

01:19:01And you try to be the bad guys.

01:19:02And inherently, you are bad people when it comes to your sports teams.

01:19:06And I don't think that's cool.

01:19:07I will say, I was up in Milwaukee this past weekend, Labor Day, and I was seeing the

01:19:12Phillies play the Brewers.

01:19:13And it was a great game, back and forth.

01:19:15And Phillies wound up pulling it off.

01:19:17And I walked out of the stadium and everybody was saying, hey, that was a great game.

01:19:21Like, really enjoyed it and everything.

01:19:23And then there was one people, there was a group of people who were like, you know, hey,

01:19:25we lost the game, but at least we got to be with our buddies.

01:19:28And I said, that's why this team's never winning anything.

01:19:31Did you walk through the tailgates?

01:19:32I did.

01:19:33They got great tailgates.

01:19:34But I'm like, you guys got to be hateful.

01:19:35You guys got to be, like, really riled up that you just, they blew the game.

01:19:39But no, they were like, hey, at least we had a good time.

01:19:41So, yeah, I get it.

01:19:42It's different in Philly.

01:19:43So, it's like the vibe of Dave's show yesterday versus the vibes of this show.

01:19:49A little bit.

01:19:50I wanted this to be the Brewers.

01:19:52And yesterday, Dave opens up and he's like, any one of you can be, you know, executed at

01:19:58any given time.

01:20:00We're never going to win a championship on this show.

01:20:02No.

01:20:02But we're going to have fun.

01:20:05And we're going to tailgate.

01:20:05We'll be in the wild card race.

01:20:06Yeah.

01:20:07Hell yeah.

01:20:07We're frisky.

01:20:08You turn on the TV in late August, late September, we're there.

01:20:11We're playing games that matter.

01:20:12We may not get across the finish line, but we're playing games that are fun.

01:20:15We're playing games that matter.

01:20:16Look, you're on your way to work.

01:20:17I get it.

01:20:18It sucks.

01:20:18I just want you to have a couple laughs.

01:20:20I know what it's like to have that morning show that becomes your sort of respite from the

01:20:26travails of the real world, right?

01:20:28A warm blanket to put over yourself in the morning.

01:20:30And I hope that one day this can eventually be that for you.

01:20:36Kyle, Joe Burrow, Justin Herbert, is Jalen Hurts a top three sexy NFL quarterback?

01:20:44I don't want to become this guy, by any means, not on day one.

01:20:50So I'll refrain from answering that.

01:20:53But I have something.

01:20:53I'm going to say yes.

01:20:54But you do have an answer.

01:20:55I'm putting him in there.

01:20:56I'm saying absolutely yes with a bullet.

01:20:58That's my big three in terms of just raw sex appeal and manliness.

01:21:03So what thing do you have?

01:21:04Yeah.

01:21:04It's off topic, and you'll get that with me.

01:21:06But I'm looking at the Heisman winners, the list of the Heisman winners of all time.

01:21:10And I found something.

01:21:11I don't know if I'm breaking this news.

01:21:14But only running backs have won in a year that ends in five.

01:21:20Oh, wow.

01:21:20So 1995, Eddie George.

01:21:22Dating back to 1935.

01:21:24Okay.

01:21:24Go back to 35?

01:21:26So I don't know if you want to place a future on running backs.

01:21:2875, Archie Griffin.

01:21:3085, Bo Jackson.

01:21:3295, Eddie George.

01:21:342005, Reggie Bush.

01:21:352015, Derrick Henry.

01:21:36My God.

01:21:37Good God.

01:21:38So, yeah, but Jeremiah Love, they don't give him the ball.

01:21:41Yeah.

01:21:42Everybody's in.

01:21:43My instincts are with Jeremiah Love as well.

01:21:44But after that game, that's going to be a tough road to go.

01:21:47You know who the guy that nobody is really paying attention to?

01:21:50He was unbelievable as a true freshman last year.

01:21:52Isaac Brown at Louisville.

01:21:53Awesome game in week one.

01:21:55Obviously not.

01:21:55Louisville running backs not winning the Heisman, brother.

01:21:57Buddy, you go turn on the tape, dude.

01:21:59Go turn on the tape.

01:22:00He's getting you a buddy.

01:22:01You can't just say turn on the tape.

01:22:02He's an electric runner.

01:22:03Turn on the tape.

01:22:04You can't just say turn on the tape.

01:22:05Turn on the tape.

01:22:06Kyle's turned the show upside down with his five.

01:22:08Turn on the tape.

01:22:09A point doesn't.

01:22:10Did I break that news?

01:22:11Yeah.

01:22:12Broke it to me.

01:22:12Anybody else extrapolated this?

01:22:14I will back to 1935.

01:22:16Liam.

01:22:17Liam.

01:22:17Ahmad Hardy.

01:22:17Mizzou.

01:22:18That couldn't.

01:22:18Maybe.

01:22:19We'll see.

01:22:20Big game.

01:22:21Wrapping up.

01:22:21A very fun first day, guys.

01:22:23Hope you enjoyed it.

01:22:24It's been great.

01:22:25I have myself, Brandon, Ivo, Connor, KB, all the production crew.

01:22:31Really fun job.

01:22:32You want to set up tomorrow's crew?

01:22:33We will get there.

01:22:34I think I'll get there maybe more at the end.

01:22:36Okay.

01:22:36Well, okay.

01:22:37Whatever.

01:22:37We're here.

01:22:38We're here, right?

01:22:39So, tomorrow, we're going to have PFT, Titus, Jersey Jerry, and then Big T in the producer

01:22:48chair.

01:22:48So, that's going to be a lot of fun as well.

01:22:50It'll be a rotating cast.

01:22:52Dave's doing Mondays.

01:22:53I'll do Tuesdays through Fridays.

01:22:54All of your favorite Barstool personalities, hence the name Wake Up Barstool, right?

01:22:59Everybody's evolved.

01:23:00Mark Titus.

01:23:00Good guy.

01:23:01Yeah, shout out to Mark Titus.

01:23:01Decent guy.

01:23:02I know he's a big fan of Mostly Sports, and he's really enjoying himself back home.

01:23:06So, just shout out to him.

01:23:08He's going to be a guest on Mostly Sports today.

01:23:10Really?

01:23:10Yeah.

01:23:11He's going to be joining us.

01:23:12He's going to be sitting at the desk with me.

01:23:13So, shout out to Mark Titus.

01:23:15And there you go, guys.

01:23:15Look, 11 a.m.

01:23:16Eastern, 10 Central, Mostly Sports every day.

01:23:19A show that I was a part of until they kicked me off.

01:23:21That graphic.

01:23:22But it was great.

01:23:22It was great.

01:23:23It was really fun while it lasted.

01:23:25Until Brandon called me on a Sunday.

01:23:27Okay.

01:23:28And as I was spending six hours building a crib, basically broke up with me over the phone.

01:23:32That's not how that happened in the show.

01:23:34Yep.

01:23:35Yep.

01:23:36Yep.

01:23:36But look, you know, all's well that ends well.

01:23:38Look at us now, guys.

01:23:40No.

01:23:41You knew this show was coming up.

01:23:43I get it.

01:23:44I get it.

01:23:44Only one basketball.

01:23:46Only one basketball, you know?

01:23:48Look how handsome Titus looks in that picture.

01:23:49It's ridiculous.

01:23:50Yeah, it's unbelievable.

01:23:51See how long his fingers were yesterday?

01:23:52Yeah.

01:23:53Yeah.

01:23:53Jeez.

01:23:54Man, imagine that, huh, KB?

01:23:56I'm refraining.

01:23:57Imagine that.

01:23:57You know what I'm saying, dude?

01:23:58I'm biting my tongue.

01:23:59Hey.

01:24:00Hey.

01:24:01A guy can dream.

01:24:03You know?

01:24:04I wonder, you know, Joe Burrow.

01:24:05Why'd you grab a pencil?

01:24:06Yeah, he's panicking.

01:24:07An unsharpened pencil.

01:24:09Do you know how big Joe Burrow's hands are, KB?

01:24:13No, I don't.

01:24:14I know they're large, yeah.

01:24:15They're actually not.

01:24:16They're nine inches.

01:24:17Nine inches on the dot.

01:24:18Mine as well.

01:24:19Nine inch kings.

01:24:20I get accused of having small hands all the time, guys.

01:24:22I want to take this time that I now have on national television.

01:24:25See, that is not the case, okay?

01:24:27I have completely average and acceptable hands.

01:24:29They are nine inches.

01:24:30So is Joe Burrow.

01:24:31Patrick Mahomes, nine and a quarter.

01:24:33Nine inch kings, one and all, okay?

01:24:35So stop telling me I have tiny hands.

01:24:36Also, my feet are not small, okay?

01:24:39What's that?

01:24:39I wear anywhere from a 12 to 13.

01:24:41Again, completely acceptable.

01:24:43That's pretty small.

01:24:44That's not pretty small.

01:24:45I wear a 14 to 15.

01:24:46Yeah, but you're taller than me.

01:24:47You're like 6'5".

01:24:47I'm barely taller than you.

01:24:48I'm like 6'3".

01:24:49You're 6'4".

01:24:50Yeah, on my tall leg.

01:24:51I'm pushing 6'4".

01:24:52I'm also going to take this time to say I do not have small hands.

01:24:54They are 10 inch hands.

01:24:55My feet are a size 12 as well.

01:24:58And I am 6 feet tall.

01:24:59So I should use my platform on national television as well.

01:25:02Excellent.

01:25:02I'm glad.

01:25:03Connor, do you have anything you want to state?

01:25:046'3", if there are any women listening.

01:25:066'3", I'll say it louder.

01:25:07Where do you get eyebrows?

01:25:08When?

01:25:09Oh, buddy.

01:25:10That's an ongoing saga, my friend.

01:25:13We can get into it on the next show.

01:25:15The next Wednesday show, we can talk about it.

01:25:17Okay.

01:25:17You know what I did want to talk about?

01:25:19And shout out Evo for this.

01:25:21I had no idea about this guy.

01:25:23Have you all heard of Ricky the Dog?

01:25:25I don't know who Ricky the Dog is.

01:25:27Ricky Scoops.

01:25:28Ricky Scoops, dude.

01:25:29Most powerful account on Twitter.

01:25:31Ricky Scoops.

01:25:32I do not understand it.

01:25:34If we have the Michael Parsons graphic, put it up.

01:25:36If not, it's okay.

01:25:38But it says, great comic sans font.

01:25:40It says, bark, breaking news.

01:25:42Wow, breaking news.

01:25:43Bark, bark.

01:25:44Rumor from Ricky.

01:25:44This is an NFL insider that has created an anonymous account with a dog with an NFL hat on as its avatar.

01:25:56And the thing is, though, they're legitimately breaking these stories.

01:26:02They were first on Micah Parsons.

01:26:04They were first incorrect on Amari Cooper, Adam Thielen, Terry McLaurin, Brian Robinson, the Broncos were sent to for Zach Allen.

01:26:11I mean, the list goes on.

01:26:12We're talking like 10 to 12 wins in a row for Ricky Scoops.

01:26:16So, here's the question.

01:26:19Who is Ricky Scoops?

01:26:21Qui Bono.

01:26:22Who benefits?

01:26:23Why is he remaining anonymous as opposed to going the Adam Schefter route when this person clearly is a legit NFL insider?

01:26:30I don't know.

01:26:31You think it's a burner of maybe somebody who's really high up there, like a Schefter level?

01:26:37But why wouldn't Schefter just break the news?

01:26:38But then he would just use it himself.

01:26:39Or maybe you think it's a plant by these teams to try and get a feel for...

01:26:44Would all 32 teams share the password to the account?

01:26:47Possibly.

01:26:47Do you think it's Woj?

01:26:48People have floated that it's Woj.

01:26:50Woj?

01:26:50Yeah.

01:26:51Back in the game?

01:26:52Yeah, Woj is back in the game.

01:26:53Woj can't leave the game, so he anonymously stays in it?

01:26:56So, I would think maybe there's a benefit to being anonymous.

01:26:59Like, are you more trustworthy to people then?

01:27:01And then you don't have to deal with the fallout if you're wrong?

01:27:04I could never be anonymous.

01:27:05Like, it's not monetizable in the same way.

01:27:06But, like, you could probably get better information if they know it's just going to be Ricky Scoops breaking it.

01:27:11But it sounds like he's getting the information under other pretenses and following it through this Ricky Scoops account.

01:27:16Yeah, maybe so.

01:27:17Also, is this just PFT?

01:27:18Because PFT created the dog Twitter account for NFL stuff, right?

01:27:23Remember, was it Leroy?

01:27:25Leroy, yeah.

01:27:25Yeah, and it was always bark, bark.

01:27:27I hear this is going to happen.

01:27:28So, is this just PFT?

01:27:29Is this PFT?

01:27:30I didn't even consider that.

01:27:32I mean, he would definitely be someone that NFL people love to talk to because all NFL people are obsessed with part of my take.

01:27:38Yeah.

01:27:39I just wonder if Ricky Scoops sets a dangerous precedent.

01:27:44Of what?

01:27:45Dogs breaking news?

01:27:47A masked insider vigilante.

01:27:49There's no accountability here.

01:27:51How are we supposed to know?

01:27:52I mean, KB, how can we trust what news we're being fed?

01:27:55I trust Daft Punk and Marshmello.

01:27:58Okay.

01:27:58I think it's just like a move to stay out of the spotlight.

01:28:02I think there's comfort and bliss of anonymity.

01:28:06So, but I'm almost certain.

01:28:09I trust Daft Punk.

01:28:09That is the line of the day, guys.

01:28:13I trust Daft Punk and Marshmello.

01:28:16And therefore, we trust Ricky Scoops.

01:28:18Well, I'm almost certain it's a man pretending to be a dog.

01:28:21Almost certain?

01:28:22Wait, are you sure?

01:28:23I'm almost certain.

01:28:24Huh.

01:28:25Okay.

01:28:25I hadn't considered that.

01:28:26Have we?

01:28:27Okay, time.

01:28:27It is interesting.

01:28:28Who is this man?

01:28:29What if it's a dog?

01:28:30What if it's a dog?

01:28:31What if it's a dog?

01:28:32A horse can play baseball.

01:28:33Mostly sports has proven that.

01:28:34Does everything change if a dog is scooping these stories?

01:28:39Yes.

01:28:39Yeah, absolutely.

01:28:40I mean, because you would have a sentient dog that can type despite not having opposable thumbs.

01:28:45Might be doing voice-to-text.

01:28:47Challenging the supremacy of Adam Schefter and Pellisaro.

01:28:52Schefter would put that dog down.

01:28:53The Popoer.

01:28:54You think Schefter would have that dog put down if you found out?

01:28:57Easily.

01:28:58Adam Schefter's a huge fan of putting down dogs, allegedly.

01:29:01Guys, just kidding.

01:29:02Hey, look, seriously, guys, dream come true stuff today, but it's only day one.

01:29:08Okay, we got a long season ahead of us.

01:29:10NFL opened up this weekend, college football week two, and we're going to break it all down.

01:29:15Year-round here on Wake Up Barstool.

01:29:17A huge shout-out to the production crew.

01:29:19We love you all so much.

01:29:20Thank you, and we will see you tomorrow.

Week 2 CFB Rankings & NFL QB Debate | Wake Up Barstool Full Episode

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