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BRITCOM I
  • 7 weeks ago

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00:00I'm good.
00:02Yes.
00:06Oh my God.
00:08Hi, everyone.
00:10Hi, you're right.
00:12How are you?
00:14Do the BBC know you're here?
00:16I don't. I don't think they do.
00:18Hello.
00:20Hello, you're all right.
00:22How are you?
00:24Can the BBC know you're here?
00:26I don't think they do.
00:28Hello, how are you?
00:30All right, smart.
00:32You're my favourite.
00:34Because I've watched you on TV.
00:36I remember seeing you on the night before St. Patrick today in 2018.
00:40You were in Soho.
00:42Don't tell anyone what I was doing.
00:44Is this your chair?
00:46You must be Caroline then.
00:48Hello. Nice to meet you.
00:50You play football? I used to play football, yes.
00:52You shit yourself?
00:54I did shit myself, yeah.
00:56Hello. Hello.
00:58Hi, hello.
00:59I'm Mr. Winchester.
01:00Oh, yeah. You okay?
01:01Yeah, I'm good.
01:02Good.
01:15We're gonna get started now.
01:16Ali, would you like to introduce us?
01:18Okay.
01:19Hello, and welcome to The Assembly.
01:23Our collective of autistic, newer diversions and learning disabled interviewers.
01:28We are very delighted to have you to join us today.
01:31Our rules are, no subjects are out of bounds.
01:35No questions are off the table.
01:37And all might happen.
01:39So, can you please tell us your name?
01:42I'm Gary Lineker.
01:44I think you're gonna be like this.
01:46And our first question is from Jacob.
01:49Hello, Gary Lineker.
01:51Hi, Jacob.
01:52I read your dad only said I love you when he was very sick and dying.
01:59Do you ever say I love you to your children?
02:01I do. I do, yeah.
02:06My dad was, you know, it was different back then.
02:10But he did say I love you on his deathbed, which made me cry.
02:16So, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.
02:19Because I read your dad died of lung cancer in 2017.
02:22Yes.
02:23Yeah, and you've lost both your parents.
02:25Yes.
02:26So, I know that's an orphan when you lose both your parents.
02:28Yeah, well, does that still apply at my age? Does it?
02:32I thought, I was wondering if it applied at every age.
02:34Oh, no, it's a really good question. I don't know the answer to that.
02:36I, I, I would say, I...
02:37Because we always assume orphans are children.
02:39I always thought of it as you're an orphan at any age if you lose both your parents.
02:43You may well be right.
02:45I've actually, I think about it that way.
02:48Yeah. Yeah.
02:49Thank you, Gary Lineker.
02:51Thank you, Jacob.
02:53Jack, your question's next.
02:55Hello, Gary.
02:56Hi, Jack.
02:57I need to know who is the absolute worst person you've ever worked with.
03:01More blimey, the worst person I've ever worked with?
03:04You're safe, come on.
03:05Yeah, I was.
03:06You've got someone in your head, I know.
03:08Oh, come on, I genuinely haven't.
03:09I'm struggling, I'm trying to find someone.
03:11Um, it's a shame I never worked with Piers Morgan.
03:14Oh, actually, we've, we've done a little bit together, so yeah.
03:19Excuse my language, but Piers Morgan is a total .
03:24Oh!
03:28Yeah, you know, you know.
03:29Can you please leave this fit in?
03:33We would want to work with him.
03:35Next question.
03:36Next question, okay.
03:37This one's the real juicy one, okay.
03:38Oh, this is the juicy one.
03:39Oh, this is the juicy one.
03:40Are you 100% sure that there was in no way any, you know, a bit of a shove out from the BBC?
03:49Near the end?
03:50I don't know.
03:51Maybe they would have got rid of me anyway.
03:53Um, but, you know, I think it was the right time, Jack.
03:56Mm-hmm, the right time.
03:57The right time.
03:58Well, time to go.
03:59Yeah.
04:00You don't want to overstay your welcome, do you?
04:01No.
04:02Welcome.
04:03So there's no hints there at all?
04:04No.
04:05No hints whatsoever.
04:06But anyway.
04:08Oh.
04:09Anyway.
04:12Did you get sacked?
04:13No, I wasn't sacked, no.
04:15Okay.
04:17Next up, we have Ben.
04:19So, yeah, I've had a couple of coffees, so I'm a little bit hyper.
04:22All right.
04:23All right.
04:24So, World Cup 1986.
04:27Maradona scored the hand of God.
04:30Mm-hmm.
04:31How did you feel about that?
04:32I wasn't really that thrilled.
04:37To be honest, I was at the other end of the pitch.
04:39But I could tell from the reaction of my teammates, Terry Butcher and Peter Shilton,
04:43that they knew he'd punched it in.
04:45If they had VARs, that wouldn't have happened, like, seriously.
04:49That's absolutely right.
04:50Yeah.
04:51VAR, I think, would have turned that round.
04:53That's complete BS.
04:57One of those things.
04:59I want a question to ask you.
05:01Walker crisps.
05:02Mm.
05:03You like the favours?
05:05Do I like the flavours?
05:06Yeah, the Walker crisps.
05:07God said that.
05:08Of course.
05:09Free packet.
05:10Who doesn't?
05:11What's your favourite flavour?
05:12I don't know.
05:13Cheese and onions are okay.
05:14Salt and vinegar, me.
05:15I like kettle.
05:16Hang on, stop there.
05:17Next question, please.
05:21Right, we're going to come to Nicola for the next question.
05:26Hello, Gary.
05:27Hello.
05:28How are you?
05:29I'm good, thank you.
05:30Hi there.
05:31Oh!
05:32Oh, no!
05:33What did you say?
05:34Do you ever order Chinese?
05:40Um, on Saturdays sometimes.
05:42Okay.
05:43When we do match of the day.
05:44What about, um, Indian?
05:47Indian, I love Indian.
05:49It's a bit too hot for you, no?
05:50No, no, I like heat.
05:51I don't mind the heat.
05:52You don't like the vindaloo curry?
05:55I can do a vindaloo.
05:56You don't like that?
05:57Yeah, I love it.
05:58Thank you, Nicola.
05:59Paul, it's your turn.
06:00All right, Paul.
06:01Did the suspension for the BBC over the social media comment get blown out of proportion?
06:12Um, oh, I think so, yes.
06:13It got completely blown out of proportion by, mainly because of, um, the Daily Mail.
06:19I find it very, very frustrating.
06:22It was a crazy week, a crazy week.
06:25It upset me.
06:26I had all the press outside my house every, every minute of the day, um, for about five,
06:32six days.
06:33It got a bit silly, but it's, I mean, it was, it was actually also lovely because my, you
06:39know, the backing I got from the people I worked with was, was beautiful.
06:44Um, yeah.
06:46Yeah.
06:47I mean, you could always go to Sky Sports.
06:51Why?
06:52How much did you get paid?
06:55A million?
06:56I'm not telling you.
06:57A thousand.
06:58A thousand?
06:59Everyone knows anyway, but I'm...
07:00You better come to Sophie next.
07:01OK.
07:02Hello.
07:03Hello, Sophie.
07:04I heard you went to Japan.
07:05I did.
07:06Have you learnt Japanese?
07:07I did.
07:08Have you learnt Japanese?
07:09Only a little bit.
07:10Oh, hello.
07:11Hello.
07:12Hello.
07:13Hello.
07:14Hello.
07:15I'm Sophie.
07:16Ah, I'm Gary.
07:17OK.
07:18Second question.
07:19Shall I conquer your fears?
07:21I don't know what my fears are until you...
07:24You're...
07:25I'm fearful of this question, if that's it.
07:27You're vertigo.
07:28Ah, I don't like heights at all.
07:30You don't like heights.
07:31No.
07:32If you don't want to do it, that's fine.
07:33What do you want me to do, then?
07:34Do you want to look out the window?
07:36Look out the window.
07:37I'm OK with that, with this glass there.
07:39I'm fine.
07:40OK.
07:41Yeah, you believe me, right?
07:42OK.
07:43We don't have to do it.
07:44That's what you're saying.
07:45Yeah.
07:46Do you want me to prove it?
07:47Go on.
07:48No, it's all right.
07:49No, it's all right.
07:52No, I didn't realise it went right to the floor, that glass, but...
07:55Oh, come on, then.
07:56OK.
07:57Yeah!
07:58Go on, Gary!
07:59Gary!
08:00Gary!
08:01Gary!
08:02Gary!
08:03Gary!
08:04Gary!
08:05I can't get it!
08:06I don't like that at all.
08:09You did well.
08:10Maybe.
08:11I did.
08:12Not abseiling down there, if you think of it.
08:15Thank you, anyways.
08:16Thank you very much.
08:17Toitashimashite.
08:18Right, next we're going to come to Julis.
08:21So, my first question is, I know you were featured on the very controversial Brass Eye episode,
08:28Pedogeddon, and you held a photo up.
08:33It was a photo of, like, a lovely landscape with a very small, tiny bit of it had a child in
08:38it, and you held it up and said, if a pedophile sees this photo, they will try to attack the
08:43child.
08:44And my question is, how were you fooled like that?
08:48Did it come across...
08:49I wasn't fooled.
08:50They cut out all the stuff where I kept saying, this is a joke.
08:53This is...
08:54It was...
08:55It was...
08:56They were quite devious.
08:57But they told me they were with police and this was...
09:00They wanted me to do it.
09:01Halfway through, I started to think, no, this is just...
09:04This is just a scam.
09:06But people found it funny.
09:08My second question is a bit heavier.
09:12Heavier than that?
09:13Yeah.
09:14That would get easier.
09:15Heavier than paedophilia.
09:16Okay, right, okay.
09:17Oh, no.
09:18Can't wait for this one.
09:22That's going to be hard.
09:25Go on, Julis.
09:26When your son got diagnosed with cancer, what was that process like emotionally?
09:31Oh, that was...
09:32That was really tough.
09:33Um...
09:34I...
09:35I...
09:36I think...
09:37I think it changes you.
09:39Um...
09:40He was only two months old.
09:42And he was my...
09:43And we got told that he had leukemia.
09:46He wasn't given much chance.
09:48It was really awful.
09:50We were in hospital really for about seven months with him.
09:53But we were the lucky ones.
09:55And, you know, there were other parents in there that lost their kids.
09:58So we felt actually quite fortunate in the end.
10:01But it was really scary.
10:05I don't know.
10:06You deal with things in different ways as well when you're going through something like that.
10:09You know, I felt I needed to talk about it to deal with it.
10:14And Michelle, she would bottle things up.
10:17But ultimately we got a good ending.
10:19We were lucky.
10:20Yeah.
10:21Thank you very much.
10:22You're welcome.
10:23Thank you, Julis.
10:24Who was your first love?
10:37Oh, crikey.
10:38Um...
10:39I think I was about...
10:40Go on, Gary.
10:41I was about 12.
10:43Aww.
10:44Yeah, I had a crush on the...
10:47Actually, my teacher's daughter.
10:49What?
10:50Did your daughter have a crush?
10:51Yeah.
10:52What happened?
10:53What did your teacher say?
10:54What happened?
10:55Well, nothing.
10:56I was only 12.
10:57I was...
10:58Yeah, I think that was a little crush.
10:59But yeah.
11:00Um...
11:01Yeah.
11:02But that's a long time ago.
11:03My mum seems to have a crush on you.
11:05Whoa!
11:06Are you a serious fan?
11:08And she said she was like...
11:09She would like to eat your Walker's Crifts.
11:11Oh, crikey.
11:12I wondered where that was going for a minute.
11:16Sorry, Mum!
11:18I'll give you the number later.
11:24Ali, your question.
11:25I just found out that you've never been booked or sent off throughout your career, right?
11:30No.
11:31I never tackled anyone.
11:32Okay.
11:33I think it's impossible now to get...
11:35To go through a career without being booked.
11:37It was different in my day.
11:38So, in my day, you had to commit grievous bodily harm to get booked.
11:42Yeah, good description.
11:43I remember it was a question on the chase once.
11:46Oh, was it?
11:47How many times have you been booked?
11:48And there was a multiple of three.
11:50It was against the chaser.
11:51Did they get it right?
11:53They...
11:54Well, did they get it right?
11:56Um...
11:57Uh, they...
12:00Did they get it?
12:03Come on, Jacob.
12:05They...
12:06They did get it right.
12:07Okay.
12:08I remember it.
12:09That's good.
12:10That's good.
12:11You've got a swim in pool?
12:12No.
12:13No.
12:14Our next question is from Essen.
12:17So, um, again, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.
12:21Um...
12:23In Saudi Arabia, they stone people like me.
12:27When they host the World Cup, will you be a part of that tournament?
12:32No.
12:33Okay.
12:34Okay.
12:35I won't be there.
12:36And hopefully by 2034, that has changed.
12:39Well, I hope.
12:43Why is it so hard for gay male footballers to come out?
12:49I don't know.
12:50I don't know.
12:51I...
12:54If the first one comes out, say a player at the top level, and I think others will follow,
12:59but it's very easy for me to say, oh, they should do it.
13:02It's hard to know what and how difficult a thing that is.
13:05Yeah.
13:06There's probably a little bit of fear involved, but I actually think if a player came out,
13:11the reaction would be incredibly positive.
13:13Yeah.
13:14And, you know, applaud them for the bravery of doing it.
13:17Exactly.
13:18Yeah.
13:19Okay, Harry, you're up next.
13:20Hello, Gary.
13:21I love your hat.
13:22Oh, thank you so much.
13:24Bit of Laurel and Hardy there.
13:25Well, what can I say?
13:28I've got a question for you.
13:29Yes.
13:30Those boots are really cool.
13:31Can I guess your shoe size?
13:33Can you guess mine?
13:34Go on.
13:39I think we're the same size.
13:40You're a nine.
13:41I'm a nine.
13:42You're a nine?
13:43No.
13:44Wait, what is it?
13:45What?
13:46I can't believe it.
13:47What size are you?
13:48I'm a 19.
13:49I knew it.
13:50I told you, Harry, it would be the same size.
13:52That's so cool.
13:53Is it hand size next, or?
13:55Let's not go any further than that, all right?
13:58Calm down, Harry, calm down.
14:00Thank you so much for all your time.
14:01Thank you, Harry.
14:02Nice to meet you.
14:03And you.
14:04Right, we're going to come to Jamal now.
14:06Okay, so I was wondering, when you play football,
14:10have you ever entered, like, a sort of flow state experience?
14:13And is that ever, like, carried on in your life?
14:16Like, that ability to enter flow state, like a transcendence?
14:19Yes.
14:20God, that's a good question.
14:22Blimey.
14:23You know, sometimes I might be thinking, how has this happened?
14:27You know, how have you done so well in a big moment?
14:30So it's more intuitive?
14:31It's intuitive, but there's also a process to it.
14:34I think it's the degree of mathematics involved with goal scoring.
14:38If I can explain, the secret to scoring a lot of goals is gambling.
14:42So you gamble on a space.
14:44It's just basic laws of probability.
14:46The more you do it, the more you do it, the more you do it,
14:48the more chance there is of that ball being in the right place,
14:51and the more chance, therefore, of you scoring.
14:53So a lot of it is intuitive, but a lot of it is also thought out.
14:57Cool.
14:58There you go.
14:59Cool. Thank you.
15:00Right, we'll come to Luca now.
15:01Oh, go on, Luca.
15:02There he is. Luca, you all right?
15:04Gary Lineker, do you know what you and I have in common?
15:08Um, we're both male.
15:11That's one thing.
15:12We're both, I don't know.
15:13It's that we understand that the world can be against us sometimes
15:16and there are going to be negatives and letdowns on this rollercoaster
15:20of emotions.
15:21But you and I always are positive.
15:24We try.
15:25We always look on the bright side of life.
15:28Do you want to sing?
15:29Always look on the bright side of life.
15:33Doo-doo.
15:34Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
15:36Always look on the bright side of life.
15:40Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
15:43When life's a piece of shit.
15:45And one last thing.
15:52The other thing you and I have in common is that we have a sweet tooth.
15:55I can't help but eat chocolate every now and then.
15:57I made a deal with my mum, I only have once a week.
16:00And that's why I have a gift.
16:02Ooh.
16:04This is very melted.
16:05Sorry, I sweat easily in these pants.
16:08Thank you very much.
16:10We're going to come to Elijah next.
16:12Hi, Elijah.
16:13Hey.
16:14What would you like to be remembered for?
16:19Remembered for?
16:21I don't really mind what people think about me to be honest.
16:26Because people have opinions about people when frankly they don't have any idea what they're really like.
16:33People thought I was a good footballer.
16:35It was obviously what I was born to do.
16:38I was born to be in the box.
16:40And then I learnt to be on the box.
16:43And very soon I'll be in a box.
16:45But...
16:48But it's been fun.
16:50It's been fun.
16:51I've been...
16:52Do you know what?
16:53I really think I've just been incredibly lucky.
16:55And sometimes I think, you know, why have I been so blessed?
16:59But I'm thankful.
17:02It was great to meet you.
17:03My pleasure.
17:05Thank you, Elijah.
17:08And now Jamal has something he'd like to show you.
17:10We'd like you to cast your mind back to Italia 90.
17:12Oh, blimey.
17:13You know, I guess I was crying.
17:16I was...I was there that day.
17:18Oh, dear.
17:19With him.
17:20Yeah.
17:21And he did cry.
17:22Yeah.
17:23And we...I was a bit worried about him.
17:24You were worried about him.
17:26Oh.
17:28Yeah.
17:29Oh, yeah.
17:31Yeah.
17:32Yeah.
17:33Yeah.
17:34Yeah.
17:34Yeah.
17:35Yeah.
20:12And there's a really good, really good energy in the room.
20:14I've enjoyed it a lot.
20:16Well, that was a hit, guys.
20:17Well done.
20:18Oh.
20:20Thank you, everyone.
20:22Nice to meet you all.
20:24It's very nice to meet you.
20:26And you.
20:26And you.
20:27Lovely to meet you.
20:30Bye.
20:30Nice to see you.
20:31I hope you take the time before the match of the day.
20:35Just chill out.
20:36Cheers.
20:37Enjoy the chocolate.
20:39Great to see you guys.
20:42Nice to see you.
20:49Nice to see you.
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