- 4 months ago
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TVTranscript
00:01All right now for today's question
00:07When is it time to move on?
00:10Okay, there's ways to um, hold on. Let me let me think
00:17I'm gonna start over and then we can just cut around this when you feel like
00:21It's typical it's typical Jared the second he can't take the heat he ices you out
00:32You know you just laugh and he wouldn't even let me talk
00:36No, do you have anything stronger? It's 11 a.m
00:40Keep these coming. No, maybe he just needs time to cool off. What is he cool? What about me? I am severely
00:47Undervalued in this relationship. I cook I pay our bills. I have a great ass
00:56Don't all agree at once do we have to
01:00Bring all the romance to and be
01:03Bullshit you sound burnt out. Maybe you guys need a timeout, too. It worked for me and Angelo
01:08We are on the same page now really you fucking with threesomes now. Oh, no, we broke up. Oh
01:13Oh, yeah, we broke up, but the timeout helped us learn that we really needed to break up
01:20Well, you know either way Ben it sucks. I'm really sorry
01:24Ben. Oh, sorry. I'm just answering a text from Claude
01:30Oh, come through rebounds
01:33You're astonishingly fast. I haven't met him off the app yet
01:36But I really think that he's the one I mean Kate listen to this text message. He said
01:42Just thought about you and my heart skipped a beat
01:45My god like that's so romantic
01:47Angelo never talked to me like that and Claude and I already know everything about each other our hopes our dreams
01:53What color is his booty hole taupe?
01:56I haven't seen it IRL three-day rule. That's how you weed out the ones that really care
01:59But I'm about to go meet him in an hour. Anyone want to come check out the goods?
02:04Claude or his booty hole?
02:06Well, I wish I could but I can try to keep myself distracted with some weekend work stuff
02:12I too have a work thing and I'm about to be late. Don't wait up
02:18What work what work
02:35This is a really bad idea
02:37You scared you can't take it
02:39Bedrooms to the left clothes off on the bed
02:44On all fours
02:45Oh, whoa, whoa, I'm usually the one that-
02:47Did I stutter?
02:49No, ma'am
02:50No, ma'am
03:06Hey that marriage meant something to me too really
03:09And I said to Patricia why divorce?
03:12Just let me see guys
03:14Then you can see guys we can hunt together go on the prowl
03:21And now you're here with me
03:23So am I
03:25Prey am I getting eaten taxidermy?
03:29Well, I guess that depends on how
03:31You feel about getting stuffed?
03:34Jesus, Eddie
03:35Sorry, maybe that was a little-
03:39Yeah, a little much?
03:40Maybe just a little bit?
03:41Are you taking this seriously?
03:44Because it really feels to me like you're not interested at all in a long-term relationship
03:49Well, I'm here with you, aren't I?
03:50No, this was- this was good
03:56This is telling me why you're not getting any second dates
03:59Please stop talking about your ex-wife
04:01It's a good story
04:03It's not it's not a good story at all
04:07You're scaring off my client roster
04:10And stop mentally undressing people like you've been doing to me for the past 20 minutes
04:16I know how expensive that bottle is, so uh, I'll just call you a settled
04:22Okay?
04:24By the way, you do look mighty good mentally undressed
04:30I'm married
04:33Where's your ring?
04:35Yeah
04:37Bye, Eddie
04:41Can't blame me for trying
04:42Bye-bye
04:47Outside looking in
04:49It always seems easy to tell when it's time to put yourself back out there
04:52But it's never that easy
04:54There's a lot to factor in
04:57How over is your most recent relationship?
05:00Is the work you're putting in beginning to feel
05:03pointless?
05:06It could be that the long term just isn't what you're built for
05:12Bonjour
05:13Oh, hi
05:14Hi, um, are you not working today?
05:17Uh, I'm playing hooky to enjoy a day with my new boo
05:22Everyone, I want you all to meet my hot monogamous boyfriend Claude
05:27Hi
05:33Can he hear us?
05:38He's a charmer
05:39We're gonna go to the corner place for lunch?
05:41Claude, tell them that thing you told me about how amazing their burger is
05:44Yeah
05:45What was that?
05:47Babe?
05:49Uh, yeah, it slaps
05:52It slaps
05:53All right, we're off
05:54See ya
05:55Okay
05:58Babe, come on
05:59Girl
06:05I mean, that's the romantic texter
06:08He sucks, right?
06:09I let him have his little rebound
06:10Yeah, I know, but you know his rebounds always stick for too long
06:13You know he's never been single for more than a couple weeks
06:15Damn
06:16I've only been in a relationship like two days
06:19What?
06:19And yet you work for a matchmaker
06:21That's why we don't hire people off the street
06:22I mean, baby, I add nuance
06:24I am
06:28I'm just
06:29I'm going to the bathroom
06:31Okay
06:33Oh my god, is it me?
06:34Is it something that I said?
06:35I think she's got a drinking problem
06:37Oh
06:40Oh my god
06:42It's Eddie, supposed to have a date today
06:45He's got cold feet
06:47God, what else is new?
06:48You know, can I not just have one win?
06:50Oh
06:54Hello?
06:56Eddie?
06:58Anyone at home?
06:59Hello?
07:02Eddie?
07:04Oh, hello there
07:06Um, hi
07:07You aren't even dressed
07:09You have a lunch date in like 10 minutes
07:10You gotta work with me here
07:11You know, I'm working against like 80 dating apps now
07:14I'm dressed perfectly
07:16My date just arrived
07:17Did I miss him in the lobby or?
07:21Okay, and it's
07:23Okay, it's staring right at me
07:24I know you felt it the other night
07:26On our practice day
07:28That
07:29Chemistry
07:30What are you talking about?
07:32You were horrible
07:33I mean, you spent all night making me feel bad for your ex-wife
07:36I
07:38She can't handle me
07:39But my god
07:41You could
07:42You're not afraid of a little challenge
07:43Well, you know, as disturbed as I am
07:48I'm flattered
07:51But, you know, I'm married, right?
07:56So, please put your dick away
08:02You know, um, when my wife and I started throwing the towel
08:07I started to go out without my band on too
08:09Is feeling unappreciated a good enough reason to give in to an ego boost?
08:16How stressed do you need to feel to become open to the possibility of an escape?
08:20I want to take care of you
08:23When words you've always wanted to hear from your partner come from someone else
08:27What happens next?
08:28Some of us dive into uncharted waters
08:43You see?
08:44That's what I'm talking about
08:45It has never happened with a woman before
08:49Others realize that the sex isn't so bad aboard the ship they're on
08:52What?
08:52What are you doing?
09:01What's wrong?
09:03God
09:06Where are you going?
09:22A gift for the lady
09:34I think we should talk about your little visit last weekend
09:39Oh, why?
09:41Like, I'm cool
09:41Let me rephrase
09:42I need to talk to you about us
09:45Oh
09:49What?
09:50Nothing
09:50What's that?
09:51Nothing
09:52Okay
09:53Okay
09:54Stop being weird
09:58Oh, see I told you Jared just needed some space
10:01Yeah, um
10:02I have to go
10:03What, you just got back?
10:04And I will be back
10:05Wait
10:06Don't leave me alone with Devin
10:08What's wrong with Devin?
10:10Listen, you can fire me
10:12But just don't fire her, okay?
10:13She will rip the nipples off my chest, please
10:15Oh God, are you kidding me?
10:17Right here
10:17Oh God, did you guys have sex?
10:19You slept together
10:20Oh God, it's like I adopted a kid and I caught her fingering my other kid
10:24What?
10:25No, when Wade and Nasty left, she was giving off these vibes, you know?
10:28With the eyes and the lips and, you know, how she looks
10:31But, you know, I think she wants more
10:34Romantically
10:35Oh wow, what a fucking surprise
10:38You know what, go in DTR
10:39We did that to my grandma, I think
10:41No, Georgia, determine the relationship
10:43Oh
10:44Look, I really do sympathize
10:45I do, I mean it
10:47But this is your fuck up, okay?
10:49Un-fuck it up
10:50Fix it
10:50But I can't fuck it up
10:52We already fucked it
10:53That's what I meant
11:02That's what I meant
11:07That's what I meant
11:10So nice out, eh?
11:11I think the sun came out just for us
11:16Right?
11:18So fun, so good
11:19Hey, that corner place was really good, babe, right?
11:21Did you like your burger?
11:23It was cool
11:24Good, good
11:26So, what do you want to do now?
11:30Oh, there's this really cool art gallery
11:31A few blocks up
11:33My ex hated galleries
11:34He wasn't an art guy
11:36And I'd be like, okay, well then
11:37Why are you dating an artist?
11:39Right?
11:45So you have like a live stream account or something?
11:48Yeah, play games online and stuff
11:50What?
11:51It's pretty cool
11:53Okay
11:53I actually read this really interesting article a few weeks ago
11:57About how video games are becoming their own form of art
12:01I found it really interesting
12:03Do you have any thoughts on that?
12:05Nope, nope, okay
12:07Doesn't even realize I'm great
12:10Actually, I changed my mind
12:11Let's just go to my place and have sex
12:13Yeah?
12:15Okay, cool
12:16Cool
12:18Yay
12:21We can't wait to match you
12:23Yeah, he's got a big, you know what I mean?
12:26Okay, love you mom, bye
12:30So
12:32The other night I had fun
12:33Yeah, me too
12:34But fun is all I can handle right now
12:38I just want to be on the same page about that
12:39Because I've got to be working on me, right?
12:40Mm-hmm
12:41You feel me?
12:42Mm-hmm
12:42And I can't really be in a relationship with a co-worker
12:47Boss, kind of
12:48Yeah, that's worse, you know?
12:50Yeah, it really is
12:50Mm-hmm
12:51So no hard feelings
12:53I have the clap
12:55Yeah, full-blown chlamydia
12:56I had symptoms yesterday, went to the doctor for meds
12:58You should get checked out
12:59You might be asymptomatic
13:00Oh
13:01Oh
13:02Oh
13:03Oh, yeah
13:04Wait, is that why my pee smells weird today?
13:08No
13:11You're right
13:12You're right
13:12Mm-hmm
13:13Yeah
13:14So there's nothing else you wanted to talk about?
13:19No
13:19Oh
13:22The toilet paper in the bathroom needs replenishing
13:25Okay
13:27Oh, okay
13:27Yeah
13:27Yeah, no problem
13:29And get the two-ply
13:32Got it
13:32Okay
13:32Two-ply
13:33Mm-hmm
13:35You got this
13:38I ain't gonna cry
13:40I'm grown
13:44Successful rebound relationships aren't impossible
13:47But I would say not all of us are equipped to handle them
13:51That was cool
13:52Sure
13:54Okay
13:56See ya
14:11If you are ill-equipped
14:13Rebound sex might be a little less of a hassle
14:15That is unless you're quick to get attached
14:20You came back
14:21Something is clinically wrong with you
14:24Yeah, you know it
14:26Are you wearing the mantis that I gave you?
14:27No
14:28You know they double as beachwear
14:29I'm not wearing the mantis
14:31What is all this random shit?
14:33You haven't figured it out yet
14:36Duh
14:37Grease
14:38I'm taking you to Mykonos
14:40And I am going to spoil you rot
14:44Because, you know, we shared a special moment
14:46Special moment?
14:47Are all rich people this insane?
14:50That was my first gay sexual experience
14:52We didn't touch
14:54No, no
14:55That wasn't an invitation
14:57Please
14:57No more love bombing
14:59I am not jet-setting with you to Greece
15:01I am married
15:04Look, this isn't gonna work
15:06I will refund you everything that you've paid me
15:08I feel like that's pretty fair
15:09I saw you, Pucker
15:10I know you wanted to kiss me
15:13Oh, okay
15:14Oh, oh, so I'm the asshole
15:17Is that it?
15:17Well, at least I'm not the one who walks into somebody's house to gaslight them
15:22Yeah
15:23You think you and your little podcast are hot shit?
15:26I've got real connections, pal
15:28And they are gonna be floored
15:30When they find out that my professional matchmaker coerced me into buying them gifts
15:35You screwed the pooch on this one, Mason
15:43I screwed the pooch?
15:44Yeah
15:45No, no, no
15:47You took the pooch out to pasture and shot the little fucker in the gut with your dick
15:53And the pooch did not consent
15:56If I hear you say anything to anybody that might jeopardize my business or my marriage
16:01I will take my just-in cardigan to the police and have you question for sexual assault
16:08All right
16:15Well, I'm invoicing you for the flowers
16:16I can't believe you
16:35What are you doing here?
16:36Well, Georgia and Devin told me everything
16:39And here I was coming to apologize
16:42What? No, no, don't be stressed
16:44I love them
16:47I don't know where we're gonna put all of these, but
16:51Oh
16:52Look, I want us to work
16:57Me too
16:59I'm gonna pick up my things from Andre's and then I'll come back to the apartment
17:08It isn't always about moving on
17:10Sometimes it's about fighting the impulse to run
17:14Or opening yourself up to what you already have
17:21I really do want us to talk
17:23For real this time
17:25Ugh, hell if I know
17:26I miss Angelo
17:35I miss Angelo
17:38I'm feeling Devin
17:42Jared and I are going to couples counseling
17:46Damn
17:49Oh, yeah
17:50Man
17:54I feel like a nightmare
17:55Yeah
17:56Yeah
18:01Yeah
18:03Yeah
18:03Yeah
18:04Yeah
18:05Yeah
18:05Yeah
18:06Yeah
18:07Blame
18:08Yeah
18:08different
18:09T peoples
18:09That's damn good
18:09No
18:10Rock
18:10Yeah
18:10Yeah
18:10Yeah
18:11You
18:12You
18:12Well, holy
18:12That's definitely
18:13Oh, boys
18:14I'm getting in
18:16For real
18:17What?
18:17What?
18:17databases
18:18There, but right in the chat
18:19And here's our main theme
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