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FunTranscript
00:00Oh
01:00Keg, make sure you get under the couch, too.
01:04You know how your cheese puffs always fall under there?
01:07Not a problem, friend.
01:08Ah, savory cheese puffs made inedible by time and fate.
01:13Yeah, spring cleaning, Arthur.
01:15Just one small battle in the never-ending war against dirt and dishevelment.
01:20Plus, it's good, clean fun.
01:28Oh!
01:28Oh, sensitive.
01:33Hmm, maybe I have a safer chore, a mission for you, Tick.
01:44Yes, I'm doing laundry!
01:47Oh, laundry.
01:56Ah, there.
01:58That should do it.
02:00Ooh, I love a nice spotless apartment.
02:04Giant creeping beast!
02:21Stuck no further, my giant arachnid brother, or I go...
02:30I won't hesitate to forsake species for combat!
02:42Ah, enough.
02:50Leave a bee.
02:51Allow us an introduction.
02:53We are all mole people, and I am the king.
02:56We come from the center of the earth.
02:58These fine moles are my servants.
03:00Well, I am the Tick, and I'm here to stop you from turning us all into your mole slaves.
03:07Um, are you here to take over the surface world?
03:10What?
03:10Well, no, strange Tick.
03:12We are here for a vacation.
03:14Arthur, look what I found in the basement.
03:20Mole men.
03:22A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
03:24They're on vacation from the center of the earth, dug right up into the laundry room.
03:29That one's the king of the mole people.
03:31And that's Bob, the minister of mole defense.
03:34That's Todd, the minister of the exterior.
03:36And over there is Larry.
03:37He's, uh...
03:38I'm the treasurer.
03:40Mole guys, meet my sidekick, Arthur.
03:44Hi, Arthur.
03:46These mole men, they've come a long way, Arthur, just to see our world.
03:50And, well, as superheroes, we're sort of ambassadors of our city.
03:55And, well, the mole guys, they're like guests in our city.
03:58What are you saying, Tick?
03:59Well, what I'm saying is that it's like our job to...
04:03Arthur and I would like you mole guys to stay here with us while you're in town.
04:07What?
04:09Well, we were going to stay in a hotel, whatever that is,
04:11and we wouldn't want to inconvenience you.
04:13But if you insist, we'd be glad to stay.
04:17Wow, there hasn't been a mole expedition to the surface world in over 50 years.
04:22And in five minutes, we've made two new friends.
04:2550 years?
04:27Well, then, it's also our civic duty to act as your guides
04:30in this big, crazy, wonderful, above-ground metropolis we call home.
04:33Right, Arthur?
04:34No, Tick, I really don't know.
04:36Now, after the Museum of Skin Disorders,
04:38we'll head down to Slippy Village for the water rights,
04:40then on to the second-largest parking lot in the state.
04:43You'll see, guys, we're going to have so much fun!
04:47Ah! The light! Our eyes!
04:53The light is too much for our huge, underdeveloped subterranean eyes!
05:00Why didn't you warn us about your enormous, blazing surface roof?
05:05Tick, I knew this was a bad idea.
05:08We don't know anything about these mole people.
05:10Well, we know they've never seen the sky,
05:12but I've got an idea,
05:14and it just might be crazy enough to work.
05:21You see, with these magic glasses,
05:23you can walk around outside all day.
05:25You can stare right at the sky if you want.
05:28Oh, they're not bad.
05:32I, we, really appreciate this, Tick.
05:35But maybe we just don't belong here at all.
05:38You could just go outside seeing at night.
05:40Good thinking, chum!
05:42Night is when the fiery star we call the sun goes down,
05:46and it gets really dark outside.
05:49Well, that sounds just great!
05:51When did you say this night happens, Tick?
05:53In just a few short hours, Mole King.
05:56In the meantime, you can stay busy with some quality television!
05:59Tick, I need to talk to you.
06:03Though his entire life is spent in and around the water,
06:06the sea otter never gets wet.
06:09What's the lowdown, sidekick?
06:10Tick, I still don't think this is a good idea.
06:13They seem nice enough, but, Tick, we don't know anything about them.
06:17What they eat, their habits, I mean, where are they going to sleep?
06:20This is a small apartment, you know.
06:22And they're small guys.
06:23I've been drinking Honesty Cola almost as long as I've had my mole.
06:28Mole?
06:28In fact, drinking Honesty Cola is what's made me
06:32an internationally famous, beautiful supermodel.
06:36Yuck!
06:37Honest!
06:38Supermodel? Beautiful?
06:40What is that?
06:41Scrotty, squiddy-eyed, two-tad surface girl to our squat mole women.
06:45But that was Mindy Mulford.
06:48She's gorgeous.
06:50Yeah, maybe for up here,
06:51but she doesn't even touch this kind of beauty down in the mole kingdom.
06:55I think she's beautiful.
06:57I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
07:01In fact, I tell you right now
07:03that I'm going to make it my mission here
07:05in the surface world to meet her.
07:07I will not leave here
07:09until Mindy Mulford
07:11is my mole queen!
07:13Mulford
07:32so isn't this jazzy it's a little expensive hey the mole kingdoms riches know no end let us pick
07:52up the chat we live amongst the earth's resources we pluck its treasures from our very walls
07:58oh dig uh may i help you
08:03our special tonight is escargot oh that sounds enchanting what is it well that's cooked snails
08:19prepared have you no shame the snails of the earth our subterranean brethren they hurt no one
08:28do you know what they do for your gardens have you ever listened to their poetry they're
08:33they're oh of course right this way miss mulford your table is waiting for you
08:40i must meet her don't think tonight's the night your highness
08:52oh i'm so sorry sir you should have gotten a menu when you are seated here you go
09:02i can't believe my remarkable luck the first place we went and there she is if this keeps up i may be
09:13able to marry her tonight i don't know how to tell you this mr mole king but uh
09:18supermodels don't usually date guys who live in the dirt but i'm a king you surface dwellers all you can
09:25think about is the surface none of these things are important not compared to the magnetic powers of pure
09:30love well love is a noble cause but after all we she's going to the bathroom now's my chance
09:37wait where's he going yeah i didn't finish my love speech he caught up to her well well what are they
09:45doing now there it looks like they're talking and when i saw you here i i just had to come over and
09:53will you be my mole queen i don't believe it she seems to like him join me in my soily realm mindy
10:02hey what do you think you're doing there mister get your hands off of her you just back off no
10:07pictures come on mindy i'll get you out of here mindy wait be my mole queen are you ready to order
10:14now sir the king has left the building we'd better get after him he's a stranger to our city streets
10:21i think the king headed down that way bob you come with me to look for him arthur take the others
10:28back to our place
10:29oops sorry citizen say could you tell us if you've seen a little guy running through here after a
10:43supermodel he looks just like this guy only with a little crown
10:46kick it's a lava man you know this guy no but the bold people and the lava men fight
10:58constantly underground it takes about 10 of us to beat one of them what am i supposed to do
11:03anything
11:04anything
11:09oh
11:12oh
11:17oh
11:20oh
11:25oh
11:26oh
11:28oh
11:29oh
11:30oh
11:31Now, to show that pressure cooker, what for?
11:40Matek, wait. We gotta find my king. He could be in danger.
11:44Ah, yes, you're right.
11:45Besides, sewer urchin is probably on patrol.
11:51Huh? Huh?
11:53Uh-oh. Oh, yeah.
11:58Oh, yeah. Very glad he's gone.
12:01Tick, what happened? Where's the mole king?
12:06Well, we couldn't find him, and we ran into some trouble.
12:10What kind of trouble?
12:11Guys, it was horrible. We...
12:21Hello, everybody.
12:29Where were you?
12:30Are you okay? What happened to your face, your highness?
12:33Well, boys, I'm officially in love.
12:35I followed Mindy to her apartment building,
12:38and that guy she was with had her bodyguards beat me up and send me home.
12:42Isn't that great?
12:43These bruises, they're a badge of honor proving my commitment to our love.
12:46Let the royal courtship begin.
12:49I hate to burst your surface girl bubble, but as minister of defense, I must.
12:53There is a lava man loose here in the surface world.
12:57A lava man?
12:58Here?
12:59What's a lava man?
13:00The lava men are our ancient enemies.
13:02They are a fiery-tempered evil bunch made of living, breathing magma.
13:07The mole people have been at war with them for centuries.
13:09Then it's our duty to protect our guest from below, Arthur.
13:14Besides, I owe that lava guy one.
13:17Well, it's almost done.
13:18Let's all get some sleep.
13:20At least we know we're safe here with the tick.
13:22Ah, Mindy.
13:38Larry, Larry, wake up.
13:40It's important.
13:42I'm up, I'm up.
13:43What is it?
13:44Larry, I need your help.
13:46I wish to perform the ancient traditional mole man courtship ritual for Mindy.
13:50Okay.
13:52Tick, we've got to ask the mole people to leave.
13:56What?
13:57Why?
13:57Did you see what they did to my living room?
13:59We can't afford this.
14:01I don't even want to talk about what they did in here.
14:03But we're the ambassadors of the surface world.
14:06We can't be rude.
14:08Rude or not, Tick, they can't stay.
14:10I'm only renting this apartment.
14:12They've torn up the floors and the walls.
14:14I'm not even allowed to paint in here.
14:19Hoo-ha-hee-da-hoo-ba!
14:21Mindy!
14:24Mindy!
14:25Know now the bottomless pit that is my love for thee!
14:29Solid!
14:32Mindy!
14:33Mindy!
14:34Join me in my subterranean palace!
14:38Cozy!
14:38Mindy!
14:39Why live up here on the crust when you can be with me in the soily filling of the sweet earth pie!
14:44Better than it sounds!
14:47Mindy!
14:49Mindy!
14:54Hey, what's going on?
14:55Hey, I'm a diplomat!
14:56Why are you...
14:58Mindy!
14:59Mindy!
14:59Help me!
15:00Marry me!
15:01It's not so bad.
15:13We got these free dinners.
15:15Love is my food.
15:16And I am starving.
15:18Cheer up, Underlord.
15:20Take Arthur and the boys who are on the way.
15:22They'll get us out of here.
15:23I can't believe we have to bail out the mole men.
15:30Sorry if I'm crushing you a little bit there, Todd.
15:34Oh, not to worry.
15:35We mole men have collapsible skeletons.
15:38You got a couple of visitors.
15:41I guess my bodyguards didn't teach you your lesson, but you're going to learn.
15:45You don't ever try to dig your way into someone else's property, especially not mine.
15:50Come on, Mindy.
15:51This guy's not going to bother you anymore.
15:54Wait, Paul.
15:55You...
15:56You go ahead.
15:57I want a minute with this guy.
15:58Why are you doing this to me, Mindy?
16:01I'm not.
16:02It's Paul, my publicist.
16:04He...
16:04He hates...
16:05He's just trying to protect me.
16:07Please say you'll be my mole queen?
16:12I...
16:13I don't even know you.
16:14You're just some strange guy who's been following me and...
16:18Join me in the ground, Mindy.
16:19You can't deny the magic between us.
16:21It's meant to be.
16:23Well, I have to admit, I...
16:25I do have a strange feeling around you.
16:27I can't explain it.
16:30Oh, mole king, I...
16:32Yes?
16:33Yes?
16:33Mindy!
16:35Come on.
16:36The limo's waiting outside.
16:38I have to go.
16:42Mindy!
16:42Come back!
16:44She was so close.
16:48Oh, Larry, did you see?
16:50Did you see the look in her eye?
16:51She felt something.
16:52And now she's gone.
16:54And we're stuck here.
16:57Larry, she's coming back.
16:59She really does care.
17:01She's...
17:02You know, I think somebody could get out through these bars.
17:17Or in.
17:18Look!
17:19Hey, you're the guy who made my head hot.
17:23Well, you're not gonna make my friends' heads hot, mister.
17:26Not here in the house of law, you nut.
17:28Take, be careful.
17:31He's a lot more dangerous than he looks.
17:35Nonsense, mole man Bob.
17:37I haven't even broken a sweat.
17:45Fudge.
17:46Would anybody like some fudge?
17:49Bob, get the gauntlets.
17:50Code blue.
17:51All right.
17:57Okay.
18:00Here you are, boss.
18:04Okay.
18:05Everybody ready?
18:06Ready.
18:07Wait.
18:08I want a pair, too.
18:09Okay.
18:10Let's do it.
18:31They're making a wind tunnel.
18:33And it's working.
18:34He's starting to cool off.
18:37Dick, it's your turn now.
18:39Help us finish him off.
18:42Yes.
18:47Take this, volcano spawn.
18:54Okay.
18:55How's that for a cold shower?
18:58That'll do it.
18:59He won't be bothering anyone on the surface or down below any bore.
19:03You know our ways?
19:06How is this?
19:06Yes, I wanted to tell you before, but...
19:09Okay, Romeo.
19:10Let's go.
19:11Hot lava or nut, you're a wanted criminal.
19:13No!
19:14Wait!
19:15You can't arrest him.
19:16I'm dropping the charges and...
19:18I love him.
19:20Well, publicist man,
19:21it looks like you'll have to find yourself another supermodel to exploit.
19:26You're fired.
19:28Big slip, Molly.
19:29I don't like you.
19:31You see, my mother was a mole woman.
19:39And my father was a spelunker from up here, my king.
19:43So are you really gonna give up your high-class life to live underground?
19:47You know, the life of a supermodel just wasn't for me.
19:50I'm too down to earth.
19:52I want to get back to my roots.
19:54Well, good luck, young lovers.
19:56Goodbye, guys.
19:57Thanks for everything.
19:59None of this would have been possible without you two.
20:02Goodbye!
20:12You know, Arthur,
20:13thanks to all of this,
20:14I've learned that you really can't judge a book by its cover.
20:18Except for the Lava Man book, of course,
20:20because he looked mean and ugly on the outside,
20:22and he really was mean on the inside, too.
20:25And that's what's important.
20:26The inside of a person, Arthur.
20:29Now, take those mole men, for instance.
20:31No, Tick.
20:32What's really important right now
20:34is us getting inside and getting some sleep.
20:37Sleep indeed, Arthur.