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FunTranscript
00:00Oh
01:00So, son, you bored yet?
01:14Dad!
01:15Hmm, getting a little choppy.
01:17Dad, did you see that?
01:31Nope.
01:31The city sleeps uneasily tonight as unconfirmed reports continue to trickle in.
01:37Apparently, there have been several sightings.
01:40Once again, unconfirmed of the spidery steel mobile home belonging to the 20th century's most notorious supervillain, the Terror.
01:50The Terror.
01:51Pictured here with infamous Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin burst upon the supervillain scene early in the summer of 1903
01:59in a legendary fight with then-president Theodore Roosevelt.
02:04This began an unparalleled career of epic wrongdoings.
02:08Paris, Lima, Deertown.
02:11No corner of the globe is safe from the Terror's reign of terror.
02:16Last sighted in 1976, the Terror, still holding a grudge, tried to punch out Mount Rushmore.
02:23Could the Terror be back?
02:25Tonight, a terrified city cringes in its collective pajamas.
02:30More as it develops.
02:32Hmm.
02:33Yes, Destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing face-to-face with the legendary Terror.
02:44Oh, come on.
02:46The guy's gotta be, what, 115?
02:48Evil chum is evergreen.
02:53Besides, these are just unconfirmed reports.
02:56Unconfirmed?
02:59What are the odds?
03:01We've got to upgrade the apparatus!
03:04We've gotta get cool new superhero stuff to battle this all-encompassing evil!
03:08Yeah, and who's gonna pay for all this cool new stuff?
03:12That's not the point.
03:13Step one, we must choose battle cries.
03:16You know, the cries we always admit just before leaping into battle.
03:18Oh, you mean like, not in the face, not in the face!
03:22Hmm, likes force, chum.
03:24No, more like, like, uh...
03:29Spoon!
03:31Hmm, I don't get it.
03:34Spoon!
03:36Look, I'm just a sidekick.
03:38I don't know, Dot, it's some kind of crime-busting tower.
03:47We're upgrading our apparatus.
03:49It's been going on like this all week.
03:51Hee-hee!
03:52Swinging!
03:53I just, I just don't know if I can afford it.
03:58The tick doesn't make any money.
04:00He's a superhero.
04:02Whoa!
04:04Well, I told you so doesn't help.
04:07It works, Arthur!
04:09Dot, you're my sister.
04:11Try to be a little supportive.
04:13Arthur, is that your fine sister on the phone?
04:15Tell her we need her car.
04:17We've got to deliver something to City Hall.
04:25Welcome, super villains!
04:28I have gathered you here to form the most beautifully unbalanced engine of evil in history.
04:33Now then, you all know me, the Terror.
04:41But let me introduce your new colleagues in crime.
04:44On my left, Toon La, not of this Earth.
04:48The human race is an inferior species.
04:51I will destroy you all.
04:53Yes, yes, yes.
04:58And next to Toon La, my old buddy, Joseph Scarlet.
05:02Yeah.
05:03And across the table from Joe, fresh from America's dairy land, the man-eating cow.
05:08And finally, weighing in at 2,000 pounds of pure evil
05:14The Human Ton
05:16And his little friend, Handy
05:18Hi, everybody
05:20Okay, now for openers
05:22We take over the city
05:24What? Where have you been?
05:26The city's protected by the tit now
05:28Yes, I've heard he's quite dangerous
05:31What are you afraid of? We got Stalin
05:34Oh, excuse me, but I am not actually Stalin
05:37I'm Stalin grad
05:39A former graduate student in Russian studies turned super willing
05:42I based my work on the works of Josef Stalin
05:45Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, you look like Stalin to me
05:48It's an homage, you jerk
05:50You're losing it
05:51You're out of the loop
05:52Yeah, out of the loop
05:54In fact, I think this group could use a new leader
05:58I nominate, me
06:00Hands up, who wants me?
06:02Hey, you can't have two votes
06:08Soon I will annihilate your planet
06:11But in the meantime, I vote for the terror
06:19That's it, sweetheart
06:22Twenty-three skidoo
06:24I nominate myself
06:26Hey, hey, hey
06:27I need this
06:28You hear that?
06:33The man-eating cow votes for me
06:35And so, Mayor Blank
06:37To even better protect the city
06:39Arthur and I wish to present you with this
06:41The Tick Signal
06:43In the event of a city emergency
06:45You have but to aim this beam
06:47At a conveniently passing cluster of clouds
06:49And we will speed to the scene
06:51Dispensing justice left and right
06:53You know, we have your phone number
06:54Also useful?
06:56The thing is, boys
06:57We've got a lot of these gizmos
06:59And I gotta tell you
07:00They just don't work
07:01Every time we flash the deflater mask signal
07:03He disconnects his phone
07:05And leaves town for a week
07:06How much did you pay for that?
07:09But you still haven't told me
07:11How much all this stuff is costing
07:13Nothing, chum
07:14I put it on your credit cards
07:16What?
07:17Oh, Arthur
07:18You're such an accountant
07:19Come over here and look at this
07:20It's great
07:21It's our new secret message, Cannon
07:24Go ahead, go ahead
07:25Ask me how it works
07:26Okay, I'll tell you
07:26First, write a secret message
07:29Then, place the message
07:33Into the secret message shell
07:35Load
07:36Select target
07:38And fire
07:39That ought to wake up the boys
07:43At the diner
07:44Hmm
07:51You are a kind and generous person
07:54Your lucky numbers are
07:56Three, seven, and forty-two
07:59Now this is the Pendekker Series 7
08:02Pneumatic grappling hook
08:03With full body harness
08:04And power winch
08:05Tick, I'm serious
08:07We can't afford this
08:09We've got to take some of this stuff back
08:11Oh, but wait till you see it work
08:13Good morning, Arthur
08:30Sleep well?
08:33What's all this?
08:35This morning I went out
08:37And picked up some more equipment
08:38You what?
08:40I would have gotten more
08:41But they cut up your credit cards
08:42Mike
08:43Yes, but look what I got
08:46A crime lab
08:48Arthur, we've got a crime lab now
08:50All kinds of
08:50Crime chemicals
08:52Look
08:52I can make this red liquid
08:54Turn totally clear
08:55What is the point?
09:02Get out
09:02Get out
09:04Get out of my apartment
09:05What?
09:07Get out of my apartment
09:09Get out of my life
09:13That'll look like Joseph Stalin to you
09:17Oh yeah, Stalin
09:22Definitely Stalin
09:23You told him to get out of your life?
09:25Oh, Arthur
09:26I just don't know what to do
09:29He's been up in that crime tower of his
09:32For almost a week
09:32He's not going on patrol
09:34He's not fighting evil
09:35He's not being a superhero anymore
09:38Well, Arthur
09:39You know, the tick isn't my favorite person
09:41But he is your best friend
09:43Was
09:44Well, let's face it
09:45You haven't had a lot of friends
09:47Oh, thank you, Dot
09:49I really think you should just go talk to him
09:51Try to work this out
09:53Oh, I can't
09:54You talk to him
09:56Hmm
09:57Okay
09:58I will
09:59You will?
10:01So, Arthur really kicked the tick out of his apartment?
10:08Yeah
10:08They say he went insane
10:10And blew the place up with chemicals
10:12Oh, chemicals
10:14Uh-huh
10:14Yeah, that's right
10:15And now he's just sitting up there in his crime tower
10:18And won't talk to anyone
10:20But this is bad, isn't it?
10:22What if the terror attacks the city?
10:26Well, what if it rains?
10:28Very bad
10:29When no one understands you
10:42Or the little things you do
10:45When destiny
10:47He strands you
10:49Or wears you like a shoe
10:52That's when you know it's over
10:56Man
10:57That's when you know it's through
10:59I never thought I'd be
11:03So big
11:07And blue
11:12The ticker's put himself out of commission
11:25The city is out
11:27Gotcha!
11:28We're in life, please!
11:29Yeah, even now
11:42He soaks like Achilles in his tent
11:44Achilles?
11:48It's the Iliad!
11:50Doom, doom, da-do-do-do
11:52It's Homer!
11:54Read a book!
11:56Ha-ha!
11:57Here we go!
11:59Hang on to your hats!
12:15Tick?
12:16Tick, why don't you come down and talk to Arthur?
12:19Arthur?
12:21Arthur!
12:22Hmm. Oh, yes, I used to have a sidekick named Arthur, but he sidekicked me out of the apartment.
12:31Tick, you're being very immature about this.
12:34Am not!
12:36Arthur, this is hopeless.
12:38R2!
12:39Dot?
12:40Well, he started it.
12:42Hey, Arthur. How are things going?
12:54Oh, hi, American maid.
12:56The boys are fighting.
12:58When no one understands you, for the little things you do.
13:06Feeling pretty sorry for ourselves up here, aren't we?
13:09The world just isn't what I want it to be anymore.
13:13Well, that's just great.
13:15And suppose the terror decides to attack the city.
13:17I don't care.
13:18I don't believe that's true.
13:20You always love and protect the city.
13:22It's who you are.
13:25Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
13:27Forget it. The guy is nuts.
13:30Let's just hope he snaps out of it before anything serious happens around here.
13:39Resistance is futile, human worm.
13:50We have the bill.
13:52The city is ours.
13:53One small problem, comrade Handy.
13:56The police have us surrounded.
13:58Ah, don't sweat it, Joe.
13:59When you've been in the business as long as I have, you get hip.
14:02Dig this, cats.
14:06Attention, coppers.
14:08This is the terror.
14:10Hi.
14:11Listen, if you want to see your mayor again, then hit the road.
14:15We own this bird, see?
14:21You know, you'll never get away with this.
14:26They always say that.
14:28And I always get away with it.
14:34We've got to save the mayor.
14:37Well, if the tick was here, he...
14:38I'd have to think of something.
14:41Okay, you grab the mayor, and I'll create a diversion.
14:45Are you sure you want to do that?
14:47No.
14:47My name is Arthur, and this is my diversion.
14:58The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout.
15:02Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
15:05Up came the sun and dried up all the rain.
15:08And the itsy-bitsy spider went up the spout again.
15:13Is he finished?
15:14Oh, yeah.
15:15He's finished.
15:16Not in the face!
15:18Not in the face!
15:31Hang on, mayor.
15:33We've got to jump.
15:34I don't think so, miss.
15:36Mayor Blake, please!
15:37No!
15:41Oh, destiny.
15:46Destiny, what would you have of me?
15:50Just give me a sign.
15:52Anything.
15:53Oh, that's not bad.
15:55Ha ha ha!
15:56Your tick won't come.
15:58He's soaking in his tent like a guy from Chili.
16:02Don't you mean Achilles?
16:03You're making us look like jerks!
16:06I told you!
16:07Read a book!
16:08Spoon!
16:09Spoon!
16:14Spoon!
16:15Spoon!
16:20Oh, it's just the wind!
16:21Don't be such a nervous knellie!
16:23So, this is the mighty tick.
16:35You've got that right, weirdo.
16:38Villains, I say to you, stop your evil ways!
16:42Get him!
16:45Get up, you big old!
16:50Get up!
16:51Tick, you're back!
16:53All right!
16:54Who's next?
16:55I've always loved you.
16:57Just a stall and grab onto my armored moo-moo.
16:59Together we will leave this foul earth behind.
17:02Me?
17:03Kill you, rat!
17:08Who needs ya?
17:11American Maine, catch that terror!
17:13Arthur, grab that bad cow!
17:15I'll handle the monster downstairs!
17:17Ha ha ha!
17:28Okay, just take it easy.
17:33That rotten old coot!
17:45I'm crazy.
17:47Oh, ho, ho, ho.
17:48Don't you stand there!
17:50Eat his head!
17:51Okay!
17:55See?
17:56He's eating your head, and I can still talk!
17:59He's eating, I'm speaking!
18:01He's eating, he's eating, I'm speaking!
18:04How do we do it?
18:07I'll deal with you later!
18:10Hey, leave him alone!
18:13You want a piece of meat?
18:15Come and get it, moth boy!
18:17Hey!
18:17I still got the moxie!
18:36Okay, old man.
18:38I'm putting an end to your century of terror.
18:41Oh, it's a woman!
18:42I'm so scared.
18:47Times have changed, Pops.
18:50Why don't you finish him off?
18:54Andy?
18:55Andy?
18:58No!
19:12I don't think that puppet's going to give us any more trouble, chum.
19:22Well, Arthur, it looks like we've done it again.
19:25And even though it's been a terrible week for me, and harsh words have passed between us, I forgive you.
19:34What? You can't forgive me. I forgive you.
19:38Well, okay then.
19:39And I'd like to thank the Tick, Arthur, and American Maid for coming through when their city needed them most.
19:47Thank you, Mayor Blank. We all enjoyed saving your life.
19:50You know, evil comes in many forms.
19:54Be it a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin.
19:57But you can't let the package hide the pudding.
20:00Evil is just plain bad.
20:03You don't cotton to it.
20:04You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness.
20:09Bad dog! Bad dog!
20:11And you don't do it for money. No.
20:15You do it for love.
20:17You know, I learned something this past week.
20:20On justice and on friendship, there is no price.
20:25But there are established credit limits.
20:27Well, kids, that's all you get.
20:32That's it.
20:33Read a book!
20:34We'll see you next time.
20:49Ooh!
20:51Ooh!
20:55Ooh!
20:55Ooh!
20:57Ooh!
20:58Yeah!