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FunTranscript
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00:28I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:58The morning sun rises to greet him, and in its low, warm light, he stands like some sort of pagan god or deposed tyrant.
01:22Just staring out over the city, he's sworn to... to stare out over.
01:29And it's evident, just by looking at him, that he's got some pretty heavy things on his mind.
01:52Oh, patrol. Morning patrol. Coffee.
02:08Good morning, Arthur. And a fine morning it is.
02:16I'm up. I'm up. Morning patrol. I got it.
02:19No. No patrols today, small friend.
02:24Today is our day off. We're going to spend quality time together.
02:29We're going to Dinosaur Grotto.
02:32Look. Guided tours daily of a working dinosaur dig.
02:36Come watch our team of expert scientists dig up real dinosaur bones.
02:42Dinosaur bones, sleepy sidekick. Fun and educational.
02:48Whatever. As long as we're back by six and Dot isn't kept waiting.
02:52Ah, yes. The sister.
02:55That's right. And she still doesn't approve of my superhero lifestyle.
02:59I only asked her to dinner to show her that I'm still a sane and loving person.
03:04Family values. You're crazy for that sibling.
03:11Yeah, so tonight can you just tone it down?
03:16Not a problem, gentle Avenger.
03:19I will suppress my every urge.
03:21Hey, cool.
03:36As you can plainly see, these giant reptiles ruled the prehistoric Earth for eons.
03:41They weren't very bright, but they were very, very big.
03:45And that concludes this afternoon's tour.
03:47Once again, I'm Dinosaur Neal, and as chief paleontologist here at the Grotto,
03:52I'd like to thank you all for coming.
03:54And remind you that we have t-shirts and other souvenirs right here in the gift shop.
03:58Consume!
04:00Eager, imps.
04:01I must say, it's a pleasure to see superheroes taking such an interest in science.
04:05Wonderful tour, Dinosaur Neal.
04:07I never knew I could learn so much.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Now, just to retain it.
04:13Dinosaur Neal, look! We found a femur!
04:15Hmm, Apatosaurus, beautifully preserved.
04:19Just what I need.
04:21You boys like science.
04:23Why not come back to my tent?
04:26I'll show you the kind of science you can't find in a textbook.
04:32I believe I can grow a dinosaur with the help of these fossils.
04:36Well, I don't know.
04:38That doesn't sound possible.
04:40Hmm, it is.
04:41I saw it in a movie once.
04:43My machine synthesizes living tissues from fossilized DNA patterns.
04:48Hey, smooth!
04:50Look here.
04:51I've already grown some dinosaur tissue.
04:53I have to keep it in a solution of acetylsalicylic acid.
04:57Otherwise, I'm afraid it would just keep on growing indefinitely.
05:01I figure I'll have a fully functional organism by the middle of next month.
05:05That move, Neal!
05:23Well, no harm done.
05:26Too bad you boys have to leave so soon.
05:30If you could stick around, you could catch the fireworks on the Parade of Extinction.
05:34Fireworks?
05:35Extinction?
05:36Teen!
05:37We'd like to, Dinosaur Neal, but we have to...
05:41Uh, Tick, we have to make dinner for Dot.
05:44We're late.
05:45Oh, yeah.
05:46Bye, boys.
05:48Bye, boys.
05:58Hands bigger.
06:03My small child-proof cat.
06:12Impossible.
06:13Impossible.
06:16Oh, that's the timer.
06:23The fettuccine's ready.
06:25Sauce is done.
06:26Here, crush this garlic.
06:32Oh, the stink of it.
06:36I'm here.
06:37Take off that shirt.
06:41Dot, hi.
06:43Hi.
06:43You remember the tick, don't you?
06:48Yes, I remember the tick.
06:50Oh, Dot.
06:52You look lovely tonight.
06:54Your hair is like a halo of mouse brown fire.
06:58Whatever did you do with it?
07:00I washed it.
07:02Are you okay?
07:10You look a little... big.
07:16Well, Arthur, it's delicious.
07:19I'm glad to see you still have time to cook.
07:21Thanks.
07:22Thanks.
07:23Oh, the tick tossed the salad.
07:27Yes, quite a challenge.
07:34Dad really messed you up, didn't he?
07:37God, ma'am, that thing is speaking a language that hasn't been heard on Earth in 4,000 years.
07:45Nub.
07:46Let's run tonight's episode of The Mummy Speaks to bring you this special report.
07:50Good evening.
07:51I'm Sally Vacuum.
07:53The authorities have issued a citywide alert.
07:55Dinosaur Neal and paleontologist and tour guide at Dinosaur Bronto is now 70 feet tall and walking down Main Street.
08:04This is Sally Vacuum at the scene of the Dinosaur Neal Crisis.
08:27As you can see, Neal is still growing.
08:30We have with us one of the city's superheroes, Deflator Mouse.
08:33Thank you, Sally.
08:36Deflator Mouse, can you tell us what the superhero community plans to do about this menace?
08:43Good question, Sally.
08:45I think we'll just, um, sit this one out and wait for the National Guard.
08:52So, uh, when's this gonna be on?
08:55Must save the city.
09:05Tick, turn it down.
09:08Tick, turn it down.
09:12This cake is delicious, Ot.
09:15What is it?
09:16Chocolate.
09:16Dinosaur Neal, please exit the city.
09:28We have a team of expert scientists ready to give you assistance and a big pair of pants.
09:34Man, those are big pants.
09:42So, so, the largest trousers in the world.
09:51Well, I wouldn't say he's rampaging, per se.
09:54The National Guard says it won't come unless the dinosaur is officially rampaging.
10:09I think we can confirm that rampage.
10:11I'm sorry, Dot.
10:25Arthur?
10:26Tick?
10:27Let's go.
10:29No, you're talking, chum.
10:31To action.
10:33Well, don't expect me to do the dishes.
10:36Yes.
10:36Yes.
10:36Yes.
10:36Yes.
10:36Yes.
10:36Yes.
10:37Yes.
10:38Yes.
10:39Yes.
10:39Yes.
10:40Yes.
10:41Yes.
10:41You're rubbing me the wrong way, friend.
11:11Yes.
11:15Aceto-salicylic acid.
11:18Oh.
11:30Wait.
11:31Wait.
11:32Tick.
11:33I have an idea.
11:34Tick.
11:41I'm trapped.
11:42In the mustache of a titan.
11:47To safety, sidekick.
11:53Arthur?
12:00Arthur, fight that wild hare.
12:03Why?
12:25All right.
12:27I get you.
12:27Yeah.
12:28I got you.
12:29Of you.
12:30I don't.
12:30Tick! I think I've got an idea.
12:41Well, mine didn't work. What's yours?
12:45Well, this morning, a dinosaur Neal said that he had to keep his dinosaur tissue
12:50in a solution of acetylsalicylic acid to keep it from growing.
12:54Tick! Acetylsalicylic acid is aspirin.
13:02If we can get Neal a dinosaur-sized dose of aspirin, he might shrink back to normal.
13:09Well, I'll try anything once.
13:13Let's see now. We usually recommend two aspirins for an average-sized adult.
13:18Now, how much did you say your friend weighs?
13:20Hmm, about 180 tons.
13:23And still growing.
13:25Oh, okay. Give us a minute.
13:29So, do you think Dot's mad at you?
13:32Maybe. But she has to understand that this is what I want to do with my life.
13:44National Guard.
13:47This could mean the city needs the human bullet.
13:51Fire me, boy!
13:53Here you go, boys.
14:07This ought to cure what ails them.
14:14Oh, no!
14:14Prepare to fire!
14:22Wait, sir, wait!
14:24We can save him. All we need is five minutes.
14:27What can you do in five minutes, civilians?
14:31Superheroes, sir.
14:32We're going to give him an aspirin.
14:35Hey! Get back here!
14:37You may not know this, sir, but nearly 2,000 years ago, a brew made from white willow leaves was recommended for gout.
14:46Today, a remedy based on that same chemical, aspirin, is the most widely used medicine in the world, but aspirin is strong medicine and should be taken only as directed, and children should never, ever take aspirin, except under the supervision of their parents or a licensed physician.
15:04Hey, Arthur, how are we going to get Neil to take this pill?
15:17I mean, do we have a plan for that?
15:19Tick, look out!
15:26What?
15:38Tick!
15:45Looks like your friend's being devoured.
15:48Okay, everybody!
15:50Ray!
15:51Aim!
15:51No!
15:52Give the Tick a chance.
15:54He's nigh invulnerable.
15:57He'll be okay.
15:58He's got to be.
16:02Whoa!
16:03Get up!
16:03Whoa!
16:04Whoa!
16:04Whoa!
16:04Whoa!
16:05Whoa!
16:05Whoa!
16:06Whoa!
16:06Whoa!
16:07Whoa!
16:07Whoa!
16:08Whoa!
16:09Whoa!
16:10Whoa!
16:11Whoa!
16:12Whoa!
16:13Whoa!
16:14Whoa!
16:15Whoa!
16:16Whoa!
16:17Whoa!
16:18You can't cut you!
16:21Let me away!
16:29Dad!
16:38Eww...
16:45Down by head, big boy!
16:51Ha ha!
16:57I'm okay!
17:15That's good!
17:18Once again, this is Sally Vacuum at the scene of the Dinosaur Neo Crisis.
17:23The National Guard has the deranged dinosaur surrounded, but maintains a tense ceasefire.
17:28Apparently, one of the city's most prominent superheroes, the tick, has fed himself to Dinosaur Neo, along with an enormous aspirin, in a desperate attempt to bring the rampaging reptile under control.
17:40The tick appears to have been devoured in one of the most selfless and heroic acts this reporter has ever witnessed.
17:46This, after a spokesman for the superhero community said that they would, quote unquote, sit it out and wait for the National Guard.
17:56This looks kinda bad, doesn't it?
17:59Minutes ago, I recorded an exclusive interview with the pharmacist who provided the giant aspirin that may be the key to the dinosaur's downfall.
18:08That was quite an aspirin.
18:10Oh, I suppose so.
18:12Was that the largest prescription you've ever filled?
18:15Oh yes, but I made a huge cough drop once.
18:19And how big was that?
18:20Oh, I see. Size of a quarter.
18:23Thank you, said the pharmacist.
18:31Bring him to the pants.
18:35Bring him to the pants.
18:44Liar! Liar!
18:47I'm on fire!
18:48Liar!
18:50There is a solemn silence at the must-go shopping plaza as we all wait to see what fate has befallen the tick.
19:01Tongue time!
19:03Ah-ha!
19:09Ah-ha!
19:10Ah-ha-h.
19:25Ah-ha!
19:27Ah-ha!
19:29Ah-ha!
19:31Ah-ha!
19:33Well, I guess that's about it for the blue guy, but he went down biting.
19:38It can't be.
19:40Okay, everybody, let's try this again.
19:46Ha! Ha!
19:48All right.
19:50All right!
19:52Ha!
20:03Tick, you're okay!
20:11To the showers with us!
20:14So, tell me, Tick, when you were, you know, in my mouth, fighting my tongue, was that weird for you or anything?
20:24Unique, Neil. Unique.
20:27But all in a day's work for a superhero.
20:30Well, you saved my life.
20:33Oh, don't thank me.
20:34Thank Arthur.
20:36The aspirin was his idea.
20:38Well, Arthur, I have to admit it.
20:41You guys saved Dinosaur Neil and the whole city.
20:45But I'm still not going to do the dishes.
20:51It is really good to be human again.
20:56Well, once again, my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast.
21:00One head is nice.
21:03It gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences.
21:07But the other head of science is bad.
21:11Oh, beware the other head of science, Arthur!
21:14It bites!
21:16And it can really ruin a good day off.
21:23So, we laugh.
21:24And it's really good.
21:24I'll be right back.
21:25It takes time to go.
21:25It takes time to go.
21:26And it will also have to be the mind.
21:26But the other head is a different.
21:27It is really good.
21:29But it is a good story.
21:29So, it's about 11.
21:30And I might be right back.
21:31Oh, beware the other head.
21:32I can do it in the mood.
21:33And it's about 19.
21:33And there's nothing.
21:34First, I might be right back.
21:36It's about 19.
21:36And then it's about 20.
21:38And so, it's about 20.
21:39And I've been about 20, and I'm about 20.
21:40I might be right back.
21:41And it's about 21.
21:42And I'm about 20.
21:42And I could be right back.
21:44And I'm about 15.
21:53You